well here it goes the objective is to control "THE HILL"
you can use whatever things you want but no uber shields or antthing
this is an example

poster 1
i put my flag on the hill my hill

poster 2
i get hitler to help me my hill

poster 3
i tell hitler where some jews are my hill

so thats how it goes

i put my flag on the hill

MY HILL

I get an army of lemmings to help me get the hill.

MY HILL!!

I use a Nurgling to infect the Lemmings

Eldar Own's hill, but only he's there unprotected.

I send a single ork nob with a huge choppa to kill eldar and take the hill

MY HILL

i use a conversion beamer from realy far away
and then get a regiment of guardsmen deffending MY HILL

I attack the hill with the entirity of hive fleet leviathen.

My Hill ( and biomass, om nom nom)

I borrow every single Ork Burna in the universe, and hire a few units of Sternguard

My Hill.

I hire the sternguard myself, have them shoot up the orks, then drop my flag on My Hill!

i fly my way in using a tau manta and blast everything, dropping my falg on MY HILL

I wait for the dust to settle then jump-pack my Stormboyz into the fight...
hehehehe Tau limbs everywhere means it's MY HILL

i use my tau transport beam to transport the hill into my manta and fly away, FAR away, into the tau empire
MY HILL FOR EVER

Unfortunately the Stormboyz are still on it and proceed to destroy the entire Tau empire with nothing but axes, thereby owning ALL HILLS!

shas'o shovah uses his ninja tau tactic and shreds the stormboyz with their relic blades
MY HILL

Ghazzy and a horde of orkses
MY HILL FTW

TRAITOR GUARD MY HILL

Gork and Mork ftw!
MY HILL 4 EVA

bombardment, with a pheonix blaster, creates a neutron star and sucks in all the orks, and the hill

NO MORE HILL

my loota orks drive space hulk into new space "parking lot"

NEW HILL

MY HILL

*resists urge to blow up new hill*

i send several tau manta's into the hill

MY BIGGER HILL

I drop the rest of the universe's planets and space mhulks on it, and then cover the entire surface are in AA Mounted Broadsides

My Hill, and there's nothing that can stop me, barring if someone leaves a pie in LOS to the hill

wow a valkirie filled with pies you and your broadsides are mesmeriser then it drops them ohh noes theyre filled with storm troopers and kill you

i then get some old guy called the emprah????
then CREEEEEEDDD and KEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL
who decide to use a radical new tactic that goes something like this

The facepalm is very appropriate for this thread.

Especially since Godwin's law was violated on the first post.

I'll be going now, but don't worry, you can keep the hill.

peekaboo kittens overwhelm the facepalm with sickening cuteness

MY HILL

Until Creed outflanks him. My hill.

hello creed, say hello to my brand new tau gun *large explosion the size of space marine fortess monestary* no more creed, MY HILL

Say hello to my little slugga friend
MY HILL

oh noes CREEEED has died or did he.....
he has absorbed yarrick and now has the iron will special rule i roll a 6 hello creed with the tactical face palm

Orkestra wrote:The facepalm is very appropriate for this thread.

Especially since Godwin's law was violated on the first post.

I'll be going now, but don't worry, you can keep the hill.

what you on about Godwins law???

I send in an aged veteran to chant the new fad song "pants on the ground"

sickening popularity demolishes iron will... "must sing the song... can't get it out of my head.... AAARRRGGGHH"




MY HILL

I Hire a Vindicare Assasain and put a full company of LR Executioners and a full company of LRMBT's on the hill, a few chimeras full of melta vets, a few of flamer vets, one with a CCS and Sly Marbo.

I get lots of Firestorms from lots of spaceships and obliterate all your tanks and stuff.

THE HILL IS NOW FREE TO TAKE BY ANYONE

I pop the hatch from the bunker built into the hill.

My hill!

I take the hill with a grumpy old man with a cane




"Take that you darned whippersnappers!"


MY HILL

I cause a thermonucular war and nuke the hill

HILL IS DEAD!

Goes over the road and claims the other hill

MY HILL

I send my hitman to give you another scar...




MY HILL

I show your hitman the movie that was based off him...he kills himself. My hill.

CRRREEEEEEDDDDDDDD has a new idea

tactical face palming tyranids
ooooohhhhhh
such tactical smartnis
creed is so smart s-m-r-t i mean s-m-a-r-t


my hill

wait, how'd he get there? never mind.
comander farsight outflanks 80 stealth suits infront of creed, where is your tactical genius now!?!??!???! *BANG* my hill now

Commander Scar gives free samples of secretly poisoned khorne flakes and the stealth suits collapse at a matter of seconds.

THIS IS MAH HIYL!

damn you and your khorne flakes
here, have some golden tau nuggets
IMA FIRRIN MEH LAZOR AT UR HILL

And imma sendin' sneaky gitz to ya.
MY HILL

CCCCCRRRRREEEEEEDDDDD has another radical new tactic
tacticalt face palming tyranids with cookies now whos scared



MY HILL

Face palm with cookies defeated by Mr. T with Gold Plate and Fork





MY HILL, FOOL!

well CCCRRREEEEEEEEEEEDDDDD has another brain wave
tacicaly face palming tyranids who have cookies and wear bling
ooooooooohhhhhhh they wear more bling than mr tee so he goes to buy somemore
my hill

bugs with bling? YOU CALL THAT BLING? I call in Flavor Flav and some flash gitz to blow them away...





YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHH BBOOYYYYYYYYYY!


MY HILL

oh yeah!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!??! well, you forgot about golden chuck norris,
ROUND HOUSE KICKS THE HILL OUT OF EXSISTANCE

then Mr.T makes another with a 55 gallon drum, some barbed wire, and green milk.
MY HILL, fool!!

oh yeah? well im going mc geiver on your asses and makes one out of a tin of beans, a razor blade and a dakka dakka member

I get a role being Hank Hill's new friend and dominate his show and fire all the others.

I am king of the hill.

I send animated jackie chan to kill hank

my (king of the) hill

I sent Mr. T to cancel the show, and using the cast, he made another hill.
My body hill!!

I get the biggest d-type cannon an blast (or suck) the sh*t out of the planet. my... um... chunk?

creed has another brain wave
tacticaly face palming tyranids with cookies and bling riding a deathstrike missile

MY small fragments of things

I use a techno wave so awesome that the bits form a
TECHNO HILL!!!!

I mute the speakers.

My Hill.

*starts to cry*
My tears have made a
WATER HILL!!!!
(we're still in space, right?

I fire lightning at the water hill, blowing it up

I move to a different planet with different hills. all underwater.

thank god I still hve my old scuba diving stuff. my hill.

I become god and create a new planet where the water hil was, with a 20km tall hill. My hill, you moved planets so don't count.

I go to top of hill and claim.

I shove you off the hill and put a flag and a shiny thing on top to defend it.

I spray black paint on the shiny thing, rendering it useless. And give you $999999999999999999999 to leave.

I plant a tree onto of the hill, have the tree grow around my flag and turn the tree into indestructible steel.

A hill with my flag stuck in it. Forever.

I pay the entire Imperial Guard that money and tell them to capture the hill

I inform them that Greed is the path to Chaos.

i bring the tau in with their awesome weapons to desintegate the tree and place a tau landing pad on it, with several mantas on that and railguns, lots and lots and lots of railguns

I send my 4 year old nephew to smash all of your tau "guy-guys" (that's what he calls them)

the hill is now ruled by a toddler who is impervious to the warhammer 40k universe (but who will cry if not fed a constant supply of gummy bears)


MY HILL (as long as I have gummy bears)

I steal your gummy bears and offer them to him. I also give him a choppa and tell him not to run with it.

I distract him with shiny marbles and send Jim Rome to smack talk anyone that tries to take the hill


MY JIM ROME IS BURNING HILL

I send Mr. T to 'SMACK' talk to Jim rome.
MESA'S BLOODY HILL

I tell Mr. T that Murdock and Face are being beat up by thugs down at the warehouse, set up my lawn chair and cooler with diet mountain dew, and order a taco pizza from Padrinos.

My Hill ( and dinner) and you can't have any.

You pizzas arrive by creeds brilliant new idea
tacticaly face palming tyranids with bling AND PIZZAS riding deathstrike missiles
OMG super death

ZMGD POWND

MY HILL

granted, you were on the hill when it happened, MY HILL

I pick up the pizza that is left and eat it.

MY PIZZA!!!

i send in super advanced bees to sting everyone to death

OHHHHHHH NOOOOO!!!!! NOT THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!

also, i run onto the hill, and becuase it likes me, no bees sting me, therefore i conclude MY HILL YOUR BEES

I cover myself in honey to keep the bees from killing me... it's kind of nice, so I add chocolate syrup, corn flakes and sprinkles...


no one wants to be touched and get all messy...

my wife just sighs, unable to even be surprised at the spectacle of my "victory"


MY MESSY, VISUALLY DISTURBING HILL

oh well, here comes a hungery bear to eat you,

my hill

I bribe yer assassin, mud up the roads for your tanks, issue an impirial decree of retirement to your vets (flamer or otherwise), and give sly a backpack with some canned beans to just please leave.... then I set up a noob space wolf army on the perimeter with a nid army in reserve (in drop pods).

my hill?

I bring my army of four year olds to get Doritos and chocolate and teeth marks all over your once pretty models.

mah hill now.

I show up in a Sentinel and get stompy.

Mah hill.

I show up, well actaully not show up but rather fly over with a Black bird SR-71 armed with stinger missiles and a Jericho missile, my hill?

Being several thousand feet up, you're in no position to claim the hill. I leave it to Drk_Oblitr8r in my will.

I changed the will
my hill!! (sorry drk_o)

I burn the will.

No-ones hill, so I stand on it with a monkey catapault that fires poo.

I send a cuttlefish cannon mounted on a turtle.

My hill!!!!

I launch a genestealer at it with the toddler's gummy-bear scratch-built railcannon on my full sized attack bike... er... bigwheel.

I call upon the power of Wrexasaur!!!!!!

He says something random, granting me the hill.

I bring a boom box with a cassette tape of michael bolton's greatest hits interspersed with fart noises and co-ordinated odors provided by um... me... . everyone has to leave the hill out of sheer disgust and deep rooted but surpressed admiration. my hill now?

thank god that the tau dont have noses they come in and destroy your boom box
my hill

i send in gamera
friend of children
my hill

Who needs your hill? I'm gonna go build my own hill, with blackjack, and hookers.
In fact forget the hill!

Not my hill.

sadly, I own the better hill across the street.

which i just bombed,
my hill

thank god I was under the hill in a bunker. still my hill.

then i cut off your food supply, you all die and i take over the bunker

Then I cut off YOUR food supply, YOU all die and I take over the bunker.

then i nuke the bunker and go to the hill which is now filled with radiation, with tau, who have protective clothing/

my hill

then I cut off you food supply and take it with a good food replicator.

i ninja my way to your hill, capture the food replicator, and then kill you all with ninja s.t.a.r.s

I dump 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 megatons of a mixture of soil and manure on the hill, turning it into a mountain.

Still makes no difference, i have a helicopter that can fly very high.

My hill, well mountain.

thank god noones on it. mine

I made a snowman on top of the hill, named it Dave, and gave it a carrot for a cigar... my hill!

i use that snowman to make an even bigger snowman called steve, and give it a gun.
my mountain

I eat enough chilli bean burrito's to create global warming and your snowman melts in 400 degree heat.

My Mountain of fire.

i send in wave after wave of plebs into the burning mountain, making it:

MY MOUNTIAN OF BURING PLEBS

I get superman to put out the fire with his ice breath and blow away the plebs.

He then plants my flag on MY MOUNTAIN.

I nuke the hill.

My smoking crater

I climb out of my bomb shelter in my radioactive suit and smack you with a louisville slugger


"if you nuke us, we will come... out and kick your butt."


MY RADIOACTIVE CRATER/BASEBALL FIELD/HILL

I use my time machine to go back to the simpler times when we had a hill and not a smoking crater. Oh and I put my flag on my hill.

I shoot you. my hill.

creed has another brain wave
tacticaly face palming tyranids with bling cookies P.I.Z.Z.A.S and guns riding deathstrike missiles
directly into the hill


My smoking pile of rubble

I bring my gang... which consists of 3.4 million Care Bears... who each bring a cup of soil and seeds and replant the entire hill...

while you are puking your guts out from the sickening cuteness, I plant my flag


MY TOO CUTE FOR CREED HILL

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

care bears... /me chokes

I launch my flag via orbital bombardment, the shockwave is enough to kill all of the Care Bears and knock you far away from my hill.

Claim it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Commissar Nikev walks onto the hill after the shockwave. Plants a chair right next to the flag to watch the carnage.

I push you and your chair of evil off of my hill.

Falling off the hill my bolter slips out of its holster and misfires blowing off your big left toe.
I may not be at a front row seat now but you have no left toe!

Noooo... that was my favorite!

now you know my pain.........Commissar nikev unholsters a bolt pistol running back up the hill.....I shoot Halonachos in the chest hitting a wad of armour not killing him but throwing him REALLY far.
Still not my hill.

Seeing as how nobody else wants the hill apparently Nikev walks up with his regiment plants his planets flag upon the hill.
NUCIA'S HILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I steal a pie, and use it to gain popeye-style superpowers, and pinch you in the head, exploding it, then beat up your girly regiment

My hill

Good think I'm in the Guard....I'll just get a new head.

well, I do so believe it's spinach time. do I even need to explain? my hill.

Arheiner wrote:I steal a pie, and use it to gain popeye-style superpowers, and pinch you in the head, exploding it, then beat up your girly regiment

My hill

OI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My regiment is NOT girly!!!!!

I had planted E. Coli in the spinach crops harvested for the popeye strength giving spinach. While Arheiner and BeethoveN run to the bathroom, I steal Nikev's big left toe and build a medical facility on top of MY HILL to surgically replace my lost toe.

Waking up from his nap Nikev's left foot feels lighter for some odd reason. Looking down he notices his big left toe gone. Nikev the hobbles outside raises his fist to the dark warp approaching sky and yells "FETH YOU HALONASHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!"

So begins the war for the left toe. Feth the hill I want me toe!!!!!

after releasing the E. Coli from myself, I get some nanobots to break your facility, and go into the basement, while building walls reinforced with 2000 tons of adamantium.

After rousing the Nucian Guard with a VERY VERY VERRRRY inspirational speech about my big left toe the march for HaloNachos's facility begins.....

I own a crowbar. my hill.

i take the crowbar

my crowbar

Walking up to halonachos's facility Nikev bangs on the door "OI!. Open up and give me my toe!"
So I send a squad to break in the back door.

The joke's on you, the facility ws already closed down due to contamination from nanobots and subsequent malpractice lawsuits. Have fun breaking down walls reinforced with 2,000 tons of adamantium. : p

-_- gak......I stated this earlier and now I'm not impliying it......feth that toe.....I'm in the Fething guard.....I'll get a new one! But BETTER! so HA!

although unfortunatly I didn't realize this till many years later being only 1/4 through the walls.

I bribe the Techmarines to put an assdrill on a Titan and then ASSDRILL through your walls! My hill!

i use my crowbar to hit one of the techpriests on the head and tell them that a piece of the titan is missing, so i get a deckchair and some popcorn and watch them while they spend several weeks taking the titan apart bit by bit trying to figure out what piece is missing.

Joins Shas'o, with own chair. "Want some popcorn?" After asking the question, I already foresee someone removing my big left toe (or otherwise) for my popcorn. I then realize that I don't even like popcorn. "Screw to this. Ima space marine now for no reason." Picks up crowbar and ker-bleh-boom whacks shas'o for the hey of it. I'm sure he'll understand. *lifts guardsman infront of my face for 'protection'*

Still my hill! Titan only distraction moohahaha!

slightly annoyed by dark i pelvic thrust infront of him, making the guardman he was using as a shield explode randomly.

I Building a diamond wall around the hill so it is a globe no-one can get In the hill unless using a blackhole matter gun which inevitabily will destroy the star system and kill us all so basically Its my hill THE END. Oh and My supply of khorn flakes are endless

Well, while you were building it I hired Marbo to go inside and wait for you to finish building it. Then he does his thing. 'Nuff said. My Hill. My Khornflakes.

i look at the mess you made and shakes my head, wondering why i bothered joining, then realising that i went back in time to before all of this happened and riged everything so that the khorneflakes and the hill appear below me along with a tactical nuke and several hundred million tau XV9 battle suits.

But what if I have a tactical nuke too? Scratch that, full Nuke strike. *Uses USA's nuke capabilities on Shas'o's (<=== lol?) army + hill + Khornflakes from 200000 bazillion miles away* *Builds bunker* *Sits in bunker* *waits for fallout to end* *opens secret supply of health bars and Crack*

*waits*

i used the free gift that came with my Shas'o's, it was a shield genorator >:3 which i then use to protect my hill and you die because of an overdose of crack in your system, while injecting the T-virus into your bunkers air system and sealing it shut.

I stand by my regiment watching this ridiculous madness. The Regiment uses teleporters to teleport inside the dome after everyone is dead(You didn't install air so you all suffocated XD XD XD) and I build an air machine and we go on vacation. ^.^

Dude ima marine I can't have an overdose. *survives* *turns into super-trygon-prime-killydeathbug and deep strikes inside the bubble and kills all the guard.*

"ROAR" ---- translation ---- "My Hill"

Still my hill....?

i bring in my leroy jenkins marine to charge at you, killing your mutated marine and stealing the hill, atleast i have chicken

But you forgot one thing! Even though you didn't know it in the first place, but oh well - The nidbugmarine dude wasn't REALLY me, I'm actually...somewhere... and that chicken is actually Mr. Cheese in a disguise. He pops out and grows to his real size and warp blasts your Leroy marine back to the Dark Age! Then Ohi I Eat You proceeds to leap onto your face and eats you, accompanied by a call of "Ohi! I eat you!". Rawr goes over to Commissar Nikev and gribbles his brains out. I teleport out of nowhere in my super-inpenetrable-2nd-edition-terminator-armour-rules-Terminator-armour and plant my flag, whilst triumphantly roaring "Mai Falg an' MAI HILL an' MAI JELLEHBABEH!" *finds jellehbabeh*

Darkvoidof40k wrote:But you forgot one thing! Even though you didn't know it in the first place, but oh well - The nidbugmarine dude wasn't REALLY me, I'm actually...somewhere... and that chicken is actually Mr. Cheese in a disguise. He pops out and grows to his real size and warp blasts your Leroy marine back to the Dark Age! Then Ohi I Eat You proceeds to leap onto your face and eats you, accompanied by a call of "Ohi! I eat you!". Rawr goes over to Commissar Nikev and gribbles his brains out. I teleport out of nowhere in my super-inpenetrable-2nd-edition-terminator-armour-rules-Terminator-armour and plant my flag, whilst triumphantly roaring "Mai Falg an' MAI HILL an' MAI JELLEHBABEH!" *finds jellehbabeh*

.......Dude.........He brought Leroy into this..........You couldn't have eaten my brain because as soon as leroy came....I ran. V.V

I wasn't eating your brain. Whatshisname Tyranid in my sig was. + he's leaping. Anyway, it's not leroy. It's a EPIC PHAILZ scout marine named leroy. I pwn'ed him. Can't you just make up a reason why you don't die like the rest of us? :p Use the power's of immortality that RPing gives you. Embrace the Dark Gods of Dakka!


Right, um... anyway...



*Eats JellehBabeh*

Well then good sir....... What does Gibbling my brain out mean? Cause If it doesn't mean eating my brain....I don't know.


Well then.....As I've stated earlier in this post.....I'm in the GUARD! I'll get a new Brain!!!!

Oh, did I write Gibbling? I meant GRIBBLING. Y'know, Genestealer shoves his feeder tendrils through every part of your head and sucks out your brain/eyes/ears/everything/it'sgrimingrimdark.

While off-topic distractions continue, 90 gay Corsican sailors arrive on the hill, rip their shirts off and form a conga line. They start singing a Pet Shop Boyz classic while raising the flag of universal fascism. My hill!

I hire Marbo...again.... 'nuff said. My Hill. Again. Still.

*victory dance*

I bribe him to throw his demo charge at you.
My hill now.

PREPARE TO FORTIFY!!!!

Mr. Cheese, ohi I eat you and Rawr. avenge me. You are now dead.

Also, good to have you back, viking! You gotta whole lotta reading to do on the War o' Attrition. :p

Nah ive been reading it just not posting as im "revising" for my upcoming exams.
Anyway you forget i build fortifications and am called a viking for a reason!!
I fights them off with ma axe!!

oO

But I haz cheezburgarh. Of course, that changes everything...... mwahahahahahahahahhahahahahLOLWUT

Anyway, I use Harpies 'n' Gargoyles 'n' Swarmlord in a Nid pod to bypass your defenses. HAWR HAWR NAO U DIE MAI HILL

In the guard post I get a new face/ears/eyes/brain/and everything else you stole and begin to march upon the hill with a new army of Nucians with tanks, basalisks, baneblades, and a warlord titan with a limp leg.
Soon to be my hill!

Yeah but I put speed bumps up. And noone would ever harm that cute kitten I put in front of your army... yes.. hmm.. hahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahaa. *ahem* yes, kitten. Mmmm. Nothin' but.


Plus, I HAZ MuLtI lAIYzSoRrRsZ

As the Nucian regiment along with the Armoured batteries that accompanied the newly remade Nikev stopped to awe and pet the kitten, Nikev fell to his Knees raised his fist to the sky and shouted "DAMN YOU DARKVOID!!!!!!!"

It is just then that the kitten folds outwards, revealing a vortex grenade. The timer ticks down to 000 and the grenade detonates


Dark stood watching from the hill, standing triumfantly next to his flag, his three siggie nids scuttling around him. "Damn me indeed!"

As vortex whirls I dig a whole very very VERY fast and save myself from death. Once the Vortex is gone I retreat back to base and begin reforming a regiment.

Still soon to be my hill!

I'll get you yet, NIkev, just you see.... The Hive Mind can create more Kittens, you know.


Also, Abbaddybaddybooboo(!) is now working for me, as I have transcended to the status of chaos God for the retaking of the hill and my cunning plan utilising kittens and grenades. HAWR HAWR HAWR.

Anyhoo, the entire black legion is now just sitting on the hill at my command. No biggie for you guys then! ))))))))

*sigh* after reestablishing the regiment Nikev and the new NEW regiment of the Nucian Guard began another long march to take the hill....soon the Black legion was in our sights and the basilisks opened up.
Soon to be my hill when I feel like typing more!

Who needs tactical geCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! When you have firepower?

Ima just get a massive carpet of nurglings to attack you

I call upon the Ulthwe. Who use nothing but Wraith Lords. MY VICTORY!

I destroy the hill with my magic. HAWR HAWR NOT MY HILL NOT YOUR HILL NOT ANYONE'S HILL LOLWINZ.


I do believe that this has happened before... so someone needs to create a new hill........oO

Upon the countless bodies of dead Nucian Guardsmen Nikev stands and calls upon the powers of the Emperor. He decomposes the bodies and creates a new hill from the soils of Nucia. ^.^

My new new NEW "regiment"...aka hill.!
There are fortifications all over it to....and I have the only supply of hot pockets that will be destroyed if I die. ^.^
BEAT ME NOW MORTALS!!!!!!!!!

As i wasn't moved from the previous hill and it got blew up or whatever, I'l just dig my way back up an through your "hill". And then just sneak up behind you when your looking out for Dark, an push you over your fortifications
VICTORY IS SCOTTS'S !!!!
wOOt
And without a single bullet, bomb or bandage....

HOLY FREE HOLY CONGRAGULATIONS VIKING!!!! I mean seriously...I think this is the first time in this thread that the hill has been taken without someone dieing!

Although I get up get mad and run at you screaming "WULULULULULULULULULULULULULU"!!!

SOON TO BE MY HILL!

Um....
How high are these fortification you built?
I ask you as you built them, and of course just pused you over them....

But of course i just voxed to the nearest hive and got my /escher gang to come "assist" me

But as it seems we're the only ones fighting for the hill.... 3 way share? eschers too?

I will accept your offer and we shall be rulers of the Hill together!

Viking Scott's, Nikev's, and the Esher Gangs HILL!

I send Escher juve to the nearest store to stock up on Coke(a-cola of course!) and whatever Nikev wants.
Mean while I call in ma Viking warband O.o!!!

And of course there is ma escher ladies to please while i wait for ma coke...

......I think I'm begining to like this escher gang you hang with!

But you can have your Escher Woman. I prefer the women from Nucia.....

Alright then.. more for me!!

In honour of the (hopeful) victory on Naruke II I name this hill Naruke IV (I took Naruke III for ma guard Reg.)
wOOt
BTW at time of post Dark is offline and only me an you is playing.
*graps deckchair and settle in to wait while um.... "hanging out" with Garland's Gunfighters (the Escher gang)*

Lol.
Well yea I guess it would be time to relax until Dark gets all shooty for the hill. So I think I'll go on the other side of the hill and sleep with as meny Nucian Woman as humanly possible for a commissar......you know how strong a commissars endurance has to be too ey

Lol!
Well I'm not sleepin; not with all the caffine i drink!
I know what i will do with the time though...... (on this metaphorical hill that is.....)
And he gonna have to have some big dakka as we have ma Escher gals an some random vikings of mine + the fortifications....
Hmm.... maaybe add to these fortifications.....
Meh too "busy"

Looking up briefly Nikev shakes his head while look at Scott.....tsk tsk always the worker never the relaxer....

lol

VikingScott wrote:
Meh too "busy"

Um... always the worker?
What did you think i meant by "busy"?

ROfl!

If only I had paid more attention....after reading all the fortification stuff I assumed you were building. XD

okay then....I don't look up and I stay on my current task.

Well.....the vikings can build and familiarise themselves with 40k tech.
Oh and as all escher are wimmin I make one go sew an awesome banner to put in dead center of the hill.
And yeah i guessed your "current task" might be more important than watch me make it

*sigh* your lucky to have a all female regiment.....But hey I have this ONE Chick in my regiment that could kill the looks of any of your girls ^.^

ALL FEMALE REGIMENT!!!! o.O
Where did that come from?
CREEEEEEEEEEEEEED got killed earlier in this thread so... O.o
BTW you may have missed this... Escher gang means about 9-12 gals

Wow......this shows how much I have yet to learn about the Universe Warhammer 40k........
Creed always gets killed........
I did not know that you only had about 9-12 chicks......

Well I said i had a gang
And called the hill Naruk IV because i stole Naruke III for my future guard army which may be where the confusion stems from.

Well I said i had a gang
And called the hill Naruk IV because i stole Naruke III for my future guard army which may be where the confusion stems from.

But anyway.... More Coke(a-cola) and chicks with guns and chains and such.....

I can dig that

Meh.

VikingScott wrote:But anyway.... More Coke(a-cola) and chicks with guns and chains and such.....

and the whips

I knock on the door and ask to join you
I have Cookies and the Nocturnean armoured Guard regiment
Please can I join you

Yeah why not,
join us then aslong as you bring more ladies to this hill paridise thing.

shas'o vera wrote:

VikingScott wrote:But anyway.... More Coke(a-cola) and chicks with guns and chains and such.....

and the whips

Whips too far, those things are painful not kinky, whereas leather and chains i can dig

Ya...the whips are a bit far....and I'll have to be stingy and say that the Nucian women are mine.....

But yea....So this thread doesn't get shut down for going COMPLETELY off topic.....as Nikev gets his groove on his bolter falls out of the holster and BANGO! Kills someone.....oneless person and one step closer to Nucia Dominating the hill.

Hey! What about our deal?
We pretty much have a hilltop paradise that would sure turn any warmonger into as pacifist

VikingScott wrote:Hey! What about our deal?
We pretty much have a hilltop paradise that would sure turn any warmonger into as pacifist

....yes yes....I know but......you see I cannot allow this thread to be destroyed by becoming off topic so I must go now...and fight for the hill.

P.S. Its going to be in RP form so your alliance doesn't really get broken up.



After saying goodbyes and holding back tears Nikev left the Hill with his guardsmen. Only to return in greater number to conquer the hill, and kill his once called friends. :(

Not cool...
ACTIVATE SELF DESTRUCT!!!!!!!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!

-_- ....that would destroy your alliance....all your women....and it would leave me alone to find and rename a new hill......
Do you really want to do that?

............maybe not.
But you said your going to return in greater numbers to conquer the hill.

Yes...but that would take me a long time to obtain....and gives ya'll plenty of time to 'produce' troops XD

I like the sound of that!!
Every man must do his duty to protect the hill!
And seeing as I'm the only man.. I've got a lot of duty

Hmm.. but this newly produced troops would be kinda young.... and stop my other troops from fighting too....

Well....you still have time. Nikev has only traveled halfway back to base.....its a LONG way back to base. It'll be even longer with a column as well.

Look this is going nowhere. I use my magic space ship to teleport NIkev, Viking and the Hill (excluding anything on/in/not part of it) to my magic space ship. I then bonbaonbardle the entire planet from orbit and blow up the entire everything everywhere anyhow. Now all that remains is to... unleash the beasts! All you have to do, puny mortals, is fight for the hill (in the huge gothicy cargo hold, in the huger gothicy magic space ship) whilst evading genestealers and tacticalcreeds and stuff. Hehehehe.

*Sigh* Blood and Damnation Darkvoid!

Indeed.

If only you gave it a little time....then then killing would have started.

Yeah but I really needed to post. Sure, I could have let you all fight on, but then I'd only probably do something even more annoying than this. Anyway, change o' scenario. Plus you have the opportunity of killing me again. What fun. Also, there's a lot of massive armies killing slightly less massive armies then the latter army's owner just firing his LaZoRz and destroying the first army, and stuff like that repeating. IDK, we'll see. Although, considering Viking's previous position, I'm not too sure he'll be happy... xD


Anywayz:

Darkvoidof40k walked into the cargo bay. Walking atop the hill, he planted his flag, and stood triumphantly next to it... but after awhile it got boring and his legs got tired, so he walked of to his ships' STARBUCKS (AKA chaos stronghold), and sat down, whilst ordering some chaos gruel.

Okaaaay, I'm writing about myself in the 3rd person. oO

[{OOC} Dude thats okay...cause I was going to start writing in RP format so I could draw out the battles....plus....you along with everyone else but me were on the hill with the ladies......so you kinda killed a lot of people getting their groove on. ]

"Damnit" Nikev spat. his ships getting closer to the Chaos Fleet. "Prepare the Boarding parties!"

"hello nikev Want some help?"

I might start a role play thread for this

Where'd Vulkan come from? Where's the chaos fleet? and how come you have ships? I distinctly remember teleportin' ya to mah ship.

CRAP!!!!
Yes I'd like help..
My attention to details....is TERRIBLE I'll Edit that.

I also remember destroying everything outside of the ship somehow...

:p

WHERES MA CLOTHES!!!!
NEKKID ME RUNNING ROUND YO SHIP IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT!!!

Dude I can just tie a scarf around my eyes and get auto targeting or some stuff like that. Either way, this magic gothicy ship is the size of america. So sez I.

EGAD!!!!! AMERICA!!!!!!!!
Well then...I just won't repost....I'll blame it on the Administratum!

As Nikev recovers from his stupidity He unholsters his Dual bolters and starts Blastin Chaos XD

*finds some clothes and retrieve my Glaive from my mind*
Ready or not here I come!
*Starts to manicly kill chaos ladz*

I do believe this chaos thing came from that time I decided to become a chaos god or something, right? Hmm. What about the genestealers?

genestealers come in and maul everyone while i laugh evilly at the fact that they are actualy the result of Scott's mutated experiments.

Then how did they get on mah ship BEFORE him? oO

(goddamn, that sounds like a rant. Image dun duun dun music or whatever and re-read that)

mwaahahhaahahhahahaaahah!!!! *cough* *hack* damn..... it.... *drops dead*

shas'o vera wrote:mwaahahhaahahhahahaaahah!!!! *cough* *hack* damn..... it.... *drops dead*

Um.. what experiments?
Just so we're clear here on which experiment?

By the way I stormed into the bridge and called in The Solar Knights (My DIY chapter)
Come get some.

He's refering to the incident with the gangers.
Also, it's my ship, and despite

Darkvoidof40k wrote:I also remember destroying everything outside of the ship somehow...

:p

I still pwn. Besides htf do you find the bridge on a ship the size of canada? xD

Annnnywayz. I jetison the bridge into the space and then blow it up with more LaZoRZz bEaMsZ.
HAWR HAWR ya asploded. Mai hill still. Mai Genestealers. Mai Icecream. Mai secret Treasure.. oh wait a sec. Damnit. Atleast they don't know the location of the secret treasure

I found because I'm me
me=awesome
And because i was wearing standerd issue rebreather I pull a master chief like in halo 2 and dive for the space ship the size of canada.
Which as its the size of canada means I won't miss (:
I think I pwn

VikingScott wrote:I found because I'm me
me=awesome
And because i was wearing standerd issue rebreather I pull a master chief like in halo 2 and dive for the space ship the size of canada.
Which as its the size of canada means I won't miss (:
I think I pwn

AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

Anyway. I could just put the shields up. I think I'll do that now. *shields up*.

*goes back to hill and level grinds on 'stealers*

Darkvoidof40k wrote: Besides htf do you find the bridge on a ship the size of canada? xD

Correction. Canada
And shields don't protect from something the size of a person (aka me)
so i latch onto ship and blast my way into with my lucky meltabomb

I call upon the powers of the EMperor and revive my planet and regiment and begin to fight my way out.....
Forget this place....I wanna go home!

And it was stated that the ship was as big as America in the first few ship posts.

well dark obviously wanted it smaller and posted canada more recently which i qouted.
Maybe he had trouble finding the toilets on a ship the size of america and felt like he need a downsize

that reminds me of a pic I've seen....I can't remember it word for word but it has the picture of row after row of space marine and it says.
The Ultimate Discipline
Bolters and Chainswords
1000 Marines--1 Toilet


Nikev blasted a genestealer in the face as it got to close. Another genstealer smacked his gun into the air with a uppercut and Nikev Epically facepalmed it, caught his Bolt pistol, and Epically blew its brains out. The Nucians were getting that much closer to the Hanger where their ship awaited to take them home.

I have that on my laptop.
Also the power of my new avatar gives me super strength and i litraly (sp?) start ripping genestealers apart with my bare hands

Well, I was trying not to do this :/

I return to my chaos godly form and eat the hill.

Too bad I put poison in the grass at the top just in case anyone tried that trick. Have a nice tummyache.

How does everyone keep getting on my mahusive ship??? Well, I guess they're just... THERE... since I destroyed everything outside of it

Nah man gods don't digest stuff. I stomp on you. My not-so-deliscous-hill.

You guys just wait until it comes back out... >.<

-_- gross


I fight my way to the hanger and board the cruiser and leave the ship after dropping a few megatons of melta bombs all over the hanger ^.^

Ah well. I'll just teleport tehm to your ship. Still my hill.

Me and the men Jettison in the Direction of our planet and get picked up by our ships.....
SOON TO BE MY REVENGE!

Got bored.
Went home.
Drank a coke.

Darkvoidof40k wrote:...I then bonbaonbardle the entire planet from orbit and blow up the entire everything everywhere anyhow.....

Ah well.. I make a new hill, and blast it out into space and put it in Vikings front yard. *Teleports self down to vikings couch* "Got any more cokes?"

Sure, what do you want? Got regular, diet and zero.
Currently drinking a zero.
And Dark, I don't have a yard.
I have a garden though

Does it MATTER what YOU have????/ IT STILL CRUSHED SOMETHING THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT and I'd like a regular please, thanks.

Here yo go *hands you a regular coke*
Couldn't you have landed that thing in the neighbour's gardean?

Sure, I could 'land' that thing in their garden. Or I could FIRE MAI MISSILEZ BOOM annnnnnnd.... their garden/house/life is gone. *Drinks coke* "mmmmm"

Nikev gets into his ships and him and the new New NEW regiment of Nucian Guard move to attack this Darkvoid.....who doesn't know that I'm comming to kill him.

Too late the coke was poisoned!

On the Bridge of the Cruiser Her Lady's Grace, Nikev falls to one knee, Raises his fist to the warp and scream" DAMN YOU SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!!!!"

And the moral of the story is never accept a drink you didn't see being prepared!
Who wants this hill?
I'm just a spectator really now.

kills scott for no reason then takes the hill.

meh, i was bored already

*returns to the warp*

"Goddamnit! Hate it when that happens. Just need to find some Sorceror somewhere and..... ahah! Here we'z go!"

*spawns*

Sorceror: "yo"
Meh: "Hi, uh.. I'm kinda gonna possess you know."
Sorceror: "What if I say no?"
Meh: "Your face will be eaten by nids."
*possesses Sorceror of Tzeentch*

*gate-of-infinities'-to-hill*

"I'll give you poison! Well, actually, I'll set you on warp-fire"

dude.... shas already killed me when i wanted to GIVE the hill away.

Well respawn so I can kill you again. Ima spawncamp xD

How about....No.
I'll just sit at the gates of Vahalla with a sniper and snipe you, you spawncamp!

Grr. Valhalla is another planet, though. Fine.
*Grumbles*
"I need to express maai mega angersz"
*destroys planet - again*



EDIT: Oyah I just discovered washes my life is complete !

(Ummm... Vahalla is the afterlife for the Norse btw)
(Only just remembered it was a planet in 40K)

xD Well, in that case, I hire some space wolves to die and then kill you in their heaven. WOOF WOOF TIME! Sick 'em, boys!

"In Valhalla, A man's strength is based on his actions, his skill based on his wit and intelligence, and his weapons? They are based on everything, every thought and action. Everything"

I think I can take the whole damn chapter in Valhalla.

Sooo... if the wolves think "you dead" that happens? Ah well, you'll get bored up there soon enough. Sooooooon... enouuuuuuuugh....... GODDAMNITGETURASSDOWN'ERENAOI'MBOREDFFSCOKE

No that is not what the wolves think.
I wasn't taking that from fiction.

I had already guessed that much. Man, it's borin' with noone else online :/

Then godzilla came from the warp with vulkan riding him and he eats your head
*nom nom nom*

Whos head?
your not being specific enough

I watch from a distance and when whoever's head is eaten begin the Massive KICK-ASS!
HUZZZZZZZAAAAAAH!!!!!!!

Well its not mine as I'm obliterating the space wolf chapter in ritual combat, 1 at a time in Valhalla

Meh......I wasn't really after killing you...I'm mostly beating up Darkvoid while he's gone so he can't say I didn't do it.

I send a scout marine with a locator beacon up to the hill, and then proceed to drop a hundred deathstorm droppods on it.
MY HILL

I'm going to say that Cormz head was being eaten therefore he could not see and could not drop the drop pods ^>^

Nah I'm pretty sure it was my mahussive physical manifestation of myself's head. But I'm cool with that, NIkev. WOOTMAIHILL. *sits* [on hill].

I turn up, completely lost with all my speed freeks, and there's this hill with a million guys on it. Looks like a good fight to me. I crush 'em under my treads and park on the hill wondering what to do next, and what was so special about this hill anyway. MY HILL.

By destroying a thousand assailants and still being standing, my Gods grant me the path back to Midgard, from there I use my God given power to teleport to my house (Drink a coke) and offer my services to whoever owns the hill.
(Which btw is outside my house)

I had a coke earlier... it was nice [and I also bought a vendreadwoopwoop)

Timmy was a fluffy, white rabbit. His family had been chased out of their old home by... well, he didn't like to think about it. Strange things were happening, and people had been fighting over their home. Now they'd moved here! A nice, lovely, new hill! He popped his head out of his rabbit hole just in time to HAVE HIS BRAINS VAPOURIZED BY CHAOS LAZORz BEAMs

"Mwahahahahhaha! STILL MY HILL!" Dark proclaimed, as he mounted the rabbits' smouldering corpse onto a spike on his back. "A worthy foe! Better than any of those other's, mwa-hawr-hawr."

That....
Made no sense and didn't relate to any previous posts.
Gorskar the lost still owns the hill.

ohyah, the bunny was on my hill. So I smoked him

I also said you're all weaker than the bunny I smoked. oO

So...you killed a rabbit while there was what is essentially a kult of speed still on the hill and then claimed it without killing them all off?

There's a cult of speed? oO

Oh, missed them. Was facing the strongest threat

*destroys cult of speed with FOUL MAGICKS*

I stop at the bottom of the hill and look up at the psycho with a bunny head on his head spike......"CHARGE!"
I beat up Darkvoid and cook his rabbits head and then throw it away without eating it WASTING YOUR VALUABLE FOOD!!!! MUAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee settle their differences. They then walk onto the hill together.
MY HILL

O.o no no good sir! Its Chuck Norris's and Bruce Lee's Hill.......We'll never win V.V

i bring in mr T and vin diesel to beat Chuck and lee, then they reanimate their bodies and serve only me, my hill

*turns Mr t, Chuck and Lee into mindless chaos spawn* "Muahahahahha!" *spawn mindlessly attack shas, who is the closest thing.

*fires rhino from SPHESS at NIkev, and it crush's every bone in his replaced body.*

"Mah hill"

In my best announcer voice:
Lost the Hill
Gained The Hill
(If you don't get it say so)

Hey, someone's blown up my tanks! Those took me ages to get made! The big mek's gonna have a fit when the Dok brings him out of intensive care! RAAAAAAAAAARG!

*Charges up the hill with what remains of his Ladz, killing Chaos marines, rabbits and norris/T/Lee spawn left right and centre. Then, in an epic fight of pure awesome, I duel the big rabbit-wearing Chaos boss for what seems like ages, before picking him up, breaking his back Bane-style and kicking him in the teeth for good measure. Then I steal his stuff.*

MY HILL.

Everyone is pwning me. This chaos sorceror body are useless. *leaves body*

"Puny mortels! I are pwn u!"

*sets Gorskar on WARP-fire*

*sits on other boyz*

Well, that was a satisfying method of stress relie - FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!

I use the Norse Wind to put Gorskar out, And them give him some Asgardian mead!!!
(If you don't know what that does Gorskar ask)

hmm, outflanking mythology into a random thread? that must have taken some kind of tacticla gen- CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!

No it would have taken some badass Vikin-SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!

VikingScott wrote:No it would have taken some badass Vikin-SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTT!!!

all hail the new tactical genius

Nikev gets out of the Field med station with his newly made bones. He walks up to Dark and slap him. I go to everyone else and ask them politely to put their faces on the curb my men carry around. I make everyone open their mouth and bite the curb just before I curb stomp Everyone But VikingScott(He's not my enemy^.^)

My hill with everyone's curb-stomped bodies on it!

If creed wasn't dead.... mmmph.

BUT

I was always prepared for this.

I always had a fallback, should I be defeated.

I have not been defeated, however, but this will be lulwinz.

I

SHALL

RELEASE

MY

SECRET

PERSONAL

MAGICAL

CHEESE-EATING

ARMY

OF

SECRET

PERSONAL

MAGICAL

CHEESE-EATING

nooooooooo!! not the squats!!

they have returned......

I use my immense powers to call the hive mind up to send some 'nids to go eat them again.

EMPTY HILL

SQUATS AND NIDS!!!! "RUN AWAY!" Nikev and the Nucian Guard pull a monty Python Holy Grail Run away Move! XD

Let me say again
EMPTY HILL!!!
THE 'NIDS CAN'T FIGHT DUE TO OVEREATING!!!

NIkev, you must be a Commissar-but-not-really! You're meant to have the epic fearless USR. Anyways, I pick up Viking and munch on his brains, before discarding his corpse. "I liked you better when you were in valhalla, killing of my evil puppies."

"NIkev! Ima kill you!"

*chases NIkev*




You can die next post

Ummm... Impossible due to propecys of the reborn warriors and thier abilities. Instead I get forewarned and forced to move away from your possible brain eating antics.
That is not my fate so I shall not be killed by it.
Instead i start up a forge and start working.

A forge you saaay? How interesting-but-not.

Banana-cheese-apple-cake-bananana-mathbleh-qewut!

Anyways, on a saner note, my hill? Seeing as how noone else wanteth's it.

Meh,
Seeing as I keep giving it away then yes it is, for now at least.

Mwahahahahha! I shall savour my uncontested victory in the true chaotic/British manner! Chips all round!

Mind sending some down my way?
I did give you a coke earlier in this thread.

But it was poison lawl.

Nah, sure. *sends chips*

"I think we have an understanding" *wink,wink*