If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" - Forum

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:29:35

Post by: KingCracker

As title says. The only thing is the animal has to be alive on earth today, so no dinosaurs and the like.

I would want 2 grizzly bears, with big ass spiked collars, and Im not talking little goth spikes, Im talking casted in iron and HUGE! Id name them Faceripper and Fran.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:31:45

Post by: dreadlord

The obvious answer here is Human. They can wield guns. But if you don't want something that can talk a highly trained monkey might fill the position.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:38:42

Post by: Frazzled

I want a dog that barks enough to wake me up, and then gets the hell out of the way of direct LOS between me and the BG.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:50:12

Post by: mattyrm

Yeah humans are the most obvious answer, unless you can pick a fictional animal, like Godzilla, or a shark with lungs and legs? Those fethers are all teeth.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:54:37

Post by: Frazzled

Sharks with frigging lazer beams baby

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:56:01

Post by: dreadlord

Frazzled wrote:Sharks with frigging lazer beams baby

I retract my earlier statements and change my vote to this.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:56:25

Post by: Clthomps

I would have to say a pack of Three-toed Sloth, crafty and deadly.... Heres one that inspired the character "Snake" from metal gear solid.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:57:16

Post by: Frazzled

dreadlord wrote:
Frazzled wrote:Sharks with frigging lazer beams baby

I retract my earlier statements and change my vote to this.

As well you should young man.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:58:15

Post by: malfred

I want Frazzled to be my guard old man.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 13:59:56

Post by: Clthomps

Frazzled wrote:Sharks with frigging lazer beams baby

I will see you sharks and raise you DINOSAURS!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 14:02:07

Post by: aka_tizz

I'll do with a large, huge, GIANT swarm of African killer bees.

Or failing that, an army of Ebola-carrying monkeys. I bet there'll be no-one around for miles

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 14:15:26

Post by: Frazzled

malfred wrote:I want Frazzled to be my guard old man.

Just remember, bears displease me.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 14:21:12

Post by: dreadlord

Frazzled wrote:
malfred wrote:I want Frazzled to be my guard old man.

Just remember, bears displease me.

The South will save us from the Soviet warbears.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 14:45:28

Post by: Gwar!

I want Badgers.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 14:52:36

Post by: reds8n

Mongolian Deathworm

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:03:12

Post by: sonofruss

Well as my Guard dog passed I would take my mom's weenie dog smokey and her fuzzy Chinese fu fu dog that I can't spell named Xia they will keep me safe and warm

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:07:40

Post by: sebster

You remember those bombs the Russians stuck to dogs to make them anti-tank dogs. I would do that with a border collie.

'Ah dog! Wait, he looks pretty friendly...'

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:12:15

Post by: malfred

sebster wrote:You remember those bombs the Russians stuck to dogs to make them anti-tank dogs. I would do that with a border collie.

'Ah dog! Wait, he looks pretty friendly...'

If my Guard Frazzled ever turns into a cuddly Granpa type, we're setting him up the bomb.

"Go, Grandpa, go! Hugs!"

"I hugs the tank!"

Boom.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:15:22

Post by: Kanluwen

reds8n wrote:Mongolian Deathworm

Funny story:
They keep finding more and more evidence that seems to point towards the damn thing being real. About a year back, they found a heavily burnt yak carcass that had no trace of the standard damage from a lightning strike--but had 'teeth' marks from something unidentifiable.

Moral of the story: Don't feth with Mongolia.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:21:07

Post by: Crazy_Carnifex

A Wolverine.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:23:51

Post by: BishopGore

I have had it up to here with

snakes on this

plane.

I think a few friendly snakes coiled around me would be good. So long as I was sure they liked me enough not to eat/bite me.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:40:14

Post by: gorgon

Komodo Dragon.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:44:23

Post by: Shadowbrand

A tyrannosaurus rex and a Raptor. Strength and agility, and I'm the lazy bastard that controls them.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 15:52:07

Post by: Altered_Soul

Wild Canadian Geese.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 16:08:28

Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik

A veritable swarm of Jack Russells.

No bollocks can survive THAT!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 16:23:30

Post by: Orkeosaurus

STARFISH

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 16:47:45

Post by: Anshal

This would be my chosen guard animal

Wererat ftw

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 16:49:37

Post by: Mad Doc Grotsnik

Only if he has a Doomwheel.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 17:16:52

Post by: Anpu42

aka_tizz wrote:Or failing that, an army of Ebola-carrying monkeys. I bet there'll be no-one around for miles

And they produce there own ranged weapons

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 18:19:54

Post by: Just Dave

I second Frazzled as a Guard dog, however I'd worry about trying to control him...

Or my own German Shepard, he can get flys like nothing else! Anything bigger he struggles with but that's a minor detail...

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 18:41:55

Post by: Cannerus_The_Unbearable

Lady Gaga. Barring her, I'm going to have to go Willard and say a swarm of rats.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 18:52:54

Post by: dreadlord

mattyrm wrote:...or a shark with lungs and legs? Those fethers are all teeth.

Jawesome.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 19:36:06

Post by: Fateweaver

Just Dave wrote:I second Frazzled as a Guard dog, however I'd worry about trying to control him...

Or my own German Shepard, he can get flys like nothing else! Anything bigger he struggles with but that's a minor detail...

Just ask She Who Must Be Obeyed how she controls Frazz.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 19:47:39

Post by: Frazzled

Fateweaver wrote:
Just Dave wrote:I second Frazzled as a Guard dog, however I'd worry about trying to control him...

Or my own German Shepard, he can get flys like nothing else! Anything bigger he struggles with but that's a minor detail...

Just ask She Who Must Be Obeyed how she controls Frazz.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/03 20:00:53

Post by: Little lord Fauntleroy

A honey Badger.

Seriously, those things are freakin' mentalists.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 02:37:21

Post by: warpcrafter

I would choose Billy Mays. He would shatter the bones of my enemies with his ferocious sonic assault.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 02:41:46

Post by: Orlanth

A moat with hippos in it. Hippos are badass, far more dangerous than lions.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 02:45:44

Post by: Wrexasaur

Dune Worms... this competition is now over.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 03:22:56

Post by: Gwar!

Wrexasaur wrote:Dune Worms... this competition is now over.
http://www.itchstudios.com/psg/robotics/wormsign.jpg

Two Dune Worms.

Your move.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 03:26:53

Post by: KingCracker

Orlanth wrote:A moat with hippos in it. Hippos are badass, far more dangerous than lions.

Thats true, hippos are friggin terrors and super strong. BUT! the lowly African elephant is more dangerous then hippos. If it werent for my hilarious images of Fran and Faceripper, I would of gone with elephants.

And Orky, your response made me crack up. How the hell would those protect you? Ninja star.........starfish??

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 03:28:34

Post by: Crazy_Carnifex

Wrexasaur wrote:Dune Worms... this competition is now over.

Water Gun Robbery!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 03:57:46

Post by: garret

I would have a titan as a guard dog. either that or an ork.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 04:00:31

Post by: KingCracker

hmm yea....an Ork. Orks make good guard dogs. Wait no they dont! Orks dont have the attention span to guard anything. The last kill team mission I played proved that!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 04:02:09

Post by: garret

Hmm maybe a predator or an alien. I would prefere an alien.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 04:08:17

Post by: chaplaingrabthar

Going with currently existing, non-human, non-fictional creatures, I'd probably go with Polar Bears.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 04:36:46

Post by: J.Black

An Orang-utan; i hear they can eat peoples faces.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 04:39:49

Post by: LunaHound

I'll be happy with a pack of wolves.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 07:09:06

Post by: Emperors Faithful

I see your pack of wolves and raise you one Drop Bear.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 17:07:41

Post by: Anpu42

Emperors Faithful wrote:I see your pack of wolves and raise you one Drop Bear.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 18:20:32

Post by: Altered_Soul

A trained Xenomorph would be pretty awesome.

Also, they make free baby Xenomorphs with the robbers!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 18:24:27

Post by: apwill4765

Clthomps wrote:
Frazzled wrote:Sharks with frigging lazer beams baby

I will see you sharks and raise you DINOSAURS!

Oh...my...god..

I remember this from my childhood. The thing around the T-rex's head is like mind control right? What is the source of this. This picture is bringing my childhood back to life and I can't remember from where lol=P

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 18:25:16

Post by: Anpu42

FURRIES!!!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 18:25:53

Post by: Gwar!

Win and Cake!
(Just remember it's a Dude ;P)

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 18:27:25

Post by: chaplaingrabthar

apwill4765 wrote:

Oh...my...god..

I remember this from my childhood. The thing around the T-rex's head is like mind control right? What is the source of this. This picture is bringing my childhood back to life and I can't remember from where lol=P

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dino-Riders

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 19:11:14

Post by: Deminyn

Damnit, dino riders and Aliens are taken... and someone mentioned xenomorph...

I'll take...

one of those things from Pikmen...

I got nothing.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 19:15:28

Post by: Frazzled

Deminyn wrote:Damnit, dino riders and Aliens are taken... and someone mentioned xenomorph...

I'll take...

one of those things from Pikmen...

I got nothing.

I'll help. MANBEARPIG!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 19:25:26

Post by: mattyrm

lol @ dinoriders... even at ten id have thought that was corny.

And wtf Street Sharks?! That must have been an American thing, i never saw a shark with arms and legs, i thought that was my idea!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/04 21:02:17

Post by: Anpu42

Here are a lsit of some Real Life Guard Animals

Attack Furries

Kitten

A Kill Kitten

The Dreaded Wet Kitty

Hamster

Guard Dog

Guard Beagle

And Python

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 00:18:57

Post by: Lysenis

I want a Lama. they are vicious. . . and they spit. . . if not maybe a talking monkey that loves to sword fight >.>

Iwould also take a swarm or 2 of Rippers. . . and let me have the Hive mind node to control them ^-^

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 00:32:21

Post by: garret

no graboids.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 00:32:22

Post by: Albatross

I've been spat on by a Llama. True story.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 03:05:12

Post by: Anpu42

How about a Ti double gir

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 04:03:16

Post by: garret

cause obviosly we would be stealing the presidents idea there.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 04:14:28

Post by: Kanluwen

Albatross wrote:I've been spat on by a Llama. True story.

Funny story about llamas. I live near a llama farm. Common high school prank was to get epically drunk and try to ride one.

Does not end well.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 04:23:58

Post by: Drk_Oblitr8r

An Owl.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/05 04:56:34

Post by: Anpu42

Drk_Oblitr8r wrote:An Owl.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 02:07:53

Post by: JohnHwangDD

I'm going with a Chimpanzee... They'll rip off people's noses, ears, fingers, nuts and dong when they go after people. That's some scary stuff, man.

BTW, if a Bear can be chased away by a housecat, it's just not fit for service as a guard animal.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 05:43:57

Post by: Iron_Chaos_Brute

I want one of those guard Frazzleds! Are there any left over from pg. 1?

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 06:10:28

Post by: dreadlord

Iron_Chaos_Brute wrote:I want one of those guard Frazzleds! Are there any left over from pg. 1?

No. Sold out. Send money to my paypal account to fund cloning research. If you donate over $1,000 I can guarantee you one of the first Frazzled clones. Just don't let him find out... I haven't gotten his approval and I'm sure he'll shoot on sight.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 07:42:45

Post by: Iron_Chaos_Brute

dreadlord wrote:
Iron_Chaos_Brute wrote:I want one of those guard Frazzleds! Are there any left over from pg. 1?

No. Sold out. Send money to my paypal account to fund cloning research. If you donate over $1,000 I can guarantee you one of the first Frazzled clones. Just don't let him find out... I haven't gotten his approval and I'm sure he'll shoot on sight.

I see! If I send my money to you, my account will be nice and empty when that nice lawyer from the Ivory Coast deposits my $13,820,945.16!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 08:03:11

Post by: Hawkins

chuck norris. (someone has to defilethe tread by using him might as well be me. )

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 11:25:52

Post by: aka_tizz

That's cheating. NO ONE can beat Chuck Norris. NO ONE

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 11:29:37

Post by: Emperors Faithful

Hawkins wrote:chcuk norris.

I see no Chuck Norris here.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 12:13:58

Post by: Paul Atreides

The first thing I think of when I see this thread hasn't been mentioned in three pages?! C'mon people! Well whatever, then I can take it.

I call Dibs on the Rancor.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 12:45:34

Post by: KingCracker

Paul Atreides wrote:The first thing I think of when I see this thread hasn't been mentioned in three pages?! C'mon people! Well whatever, then I can take it.

I call Dibs on the Rancor.

Godammit!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 13:16:11

Post by: Huffy

Monkeys. . . nuff said

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 13:29:22

Post by: mattyrm

I reckon i could fight a chimpanzee me like.. It would be a good fight though, id bite the fethers lugs off.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 14:33:30

Post by: Anpu42

Do Autobots count

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 17:54:48

Post by: aka_tizz

Wikipedia wrote:It is still a challenge for scientists and philosophers to define life in unequivocal terms.Any definition must be sufficiently broad to encompass all life with which we are familiar, and it should be sufficiently general that, with it, scientists would not miss life that may be fundamentally different from earthly life.Defining life is difficult —in part— because life is a process, not a pure substance.

Apparently, they do

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 17:57:56

Post by: IvanTih

I want an wolf for my guard dog and a really big one.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 17:58:16

Post by: Hawkins

Emperors Faithful wrote:
Hawkins wrote:chcuk norris.

I see no Chuck Norris here.

it was 4 in the morning and i was wasted. your lucky i used all the letters. (fixed)

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 17:58:21

Post by: Gwar!

aka_tizz wrote:
Wikipedia wrote:It is still a challenge for scientists and philosophers to define life in unequivocal terms.Any definition must be sufficiently broad to encompass all life with which we are familiar, and it should be sufficiently general that, with it, scientists would not miss life that may be fundamentally different from earthly life.Defining life is difficult —in part— because life is a process, not a pure substance.
Apparently, they do

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 18:02:11

Post by: aka_tizz

Give me a good reason why not and I'll stand down. PROMISE!

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/06 20:37:34

Post by: chaplaingrabthar

'nuff said.

If you could have ANY animal for a "guard dog" @ 2010/02/07 01:22:52

Post by: KingCracker

Ive always wondered how the hell they beat Unicron. I mean REALLY? And dont pull that autobot matrix crap. I mean seriously, he was so large, he ATE PLANETS! But this weird ass bling thing blew him up? Dammit to hell cartoon world. *shakes fist*