Inspired by the Predator thread,I decided to start this thread (and yes,we have most likely done this before,people often do the same thing over again,eat,sleep,play 40k,etc,so just have fun with it).
Anyway,this is my top 10 worst films ever.
1. Jaws:The Revenge (I hate this film with a fury unbound,as JAWS is one of my all time favorite films)
2. Jason X ( The tittle was misleading,I expected Jason in a suit with a bow tie giving speaches about "the MAN")
3. Fried Green Tomatoes ( After watching this I had to go check that I was still a guy)
4. AVPR ( BURN THIS FILM!)
5. Uwe Bolls House of The Dead (The movie that actauly made me hate zombies...for a minute)
6. Manos The Hands of Fate ( Jambing a drill into your eye would be less painfull than watching this gak).
7. The Grudge ( Buffy goes to Japan...crap.)
8. Batman & Robin ( George Cloney as Batman...nuff said.)
9. The Amityville Horror remake ( Another great film re-made into slick MTV palitable gak)
10. Zodiac ( Maybe the most boring film based on an interesting subject I have ever watched.)
1) Epic Movie
2) Alien: Resurrection
3) Jaws: The Revenge
4) Jason X
5) Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
6) Ultraviolet
7) Boogeyman
8) Date Movie
9) Carnosaur (book was great, movie was some ass.)
10) Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (only reason it's so high was because it was so bad it made me laugh.)
Guys. Go track down Zombie Graveyard. Also known as 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things'
Makes Uwe Boll look like a talented director. Seriously a piss poor film you wouldn't believe. NOTHING happens for most of it, then within 5 minutes all the Beatniks are dead, and the dreadful acting, direction, lighting and sound is finally at an end.
I've watched Children shouldn't play with Dead things (several times),and your right MDG ,it is a awful piece of gak.
However I found House of the Dead worse simply becuase of it's attempts at merging a stupid video game into the already stupid film.
But yes,both films= GAK
I really can't come up with 10 that I've seen, but here's a try:
Saw V (I am a fan of the Saw series; I love the psychological thrill as well as all the interesting traps that they come up with. Thankfully the series was redeemed with Saw VI)
The Final Destination (First one, great. Second one, fantastic. Third one, meh. If they'd had a twist for the fourth one, it might have been good, but it was basically the third one done over again)
Final Destination 3 (Not nearly as bad as the final movie, but it still had no point whatsoever)
Cube 2: Hybercube (The first one was a great psychological thriller, and the prequel wasn't bad - but the sequel was a piece of trash, and made no sense whatsoever)
Can't think of any more off the top of my head. Nothing that I've personally seen, anyway, although I could list off a whole collection of bad movies.
Transformers II
Captain America (1990)
The Simpsons Movie (I actually walked out)
Howard the Duck
Leonard Part VI Adventures of Pluto Nash
Batman & Robin
Dungeons and Dragons(first one)
Smokey & The Bandit 3
Superman 4
I would like to offer up Tom Arnold's "The Stupids". It's one fo those movies you have to see to believe.
Any of the Epic, Date, Meet the Spartans movies, etc... They are unfunny, overly crass (a little bit is ok), and for those who are lacking in certain key brain functions.
@ Gitkikka.
I'll give it a look man,sounds "interesting".
@ MGS
I've seen Psycomania a few times,I liked the "idea" behind it,especialy that they had to fully belive they would come back when they died,it was just poorly executed.
@ unbeliever87
The thing about Rocky Horror being bad is that it's evolved into an audience participation film now,so it's "more" than just the film,but yes,watching the film alone at home..it blows,in a crowed theatre at midnight..kind of cool.
Incidently,alot of those "cult classic" films are pretty bad with out the "audience experiance",watch El Topa,Pink Flamingos or Eraserhead....you'll see what I mean.
Any movie featuring dragons is going to be vomit-worthy. Particularly ERAGON and that one where Sean Connery voices the dragon... think it was called DRAGONHEART
Stop right there, mate. Say what you want about Eragon, but you stay the feth away from Dragonheart. That was a champion of a movie. That scene with the stars? I cried. CRIED. MANLY. FETHING. TEARS.
Stop right there, mate. Say what you want about Eragon, but you stay the feth away from Dragonheart. That was a champion of a movie. That scene with the stars? I cried. CRIED. MANLY. FETHING. TEARS.
YES. Give this man a cookie. That movie was one of the greatest movies ever made, and I will do terrible things to any person I meet in person who disrespects that movie.
Not that these are the worst , im sure i have seen worse.
But these pop up in my mind easily as some of them i have to sit through watching -_-
Red Dragon : Good concept , good director , good acting but... i cant find it exciting without Anthony Hopkin not been the main villain
From Hell : I love Johnny Depp but this movie is rather tame for the infamous Jack the Ripper
Dead or Alive : I knew it was going to be bad , but wow i didnt know it could be THAT BAD
AVP : I was hoping it will be good because i like the franchise , but disappointed.
AVPR : It was rated M i think , so i thought they would make the violence effective . But not , wasted on gratuitous blood gore and death.
House of the Dead : lol??
Street Fighter : " It can levitate bullet train from Tokyo to Osaka! " (rofl)
Alone in the dark : I thought it was supposed to be scary...
The Ring ( both versions ) I fell asleep through some of it. Then woke up screaming because my friend were screaming.
Ju On ( both versions ) Same as above.
Orky-Kowboy wrote:Any movie featuring dragons is going to be vomit-worthy. Particularly ERAGON and that one where Sean Connery voices the dragon... think it was called DRAGONHEART
Dragonslayer is fething amazing, even the dragon's name is great: Vermithrax Pejorative.
1) Star Trek: The Motion Picture
2) The Wrath of Khan
3) The Search for Spock
4) The Voyage Home
5) The Final Frontier
6) The Undiscovered Country
7) Generations
8) First Contact
9) Insurrection
10) Nemesis
11) Star Trek
1. Zardoz
2. Batman and Robin (aside from the bit with Alicia Silverstone's bum which was much discussed in the Batman thread recently)
3. Attack of the Clones (Star Wars saga hits rock bottom)
4. The Happening
5. Titanic (not that bad, but still not forgiven it for beating the far superior LA Confidential at the Oscars)
The trouble with really bad films is that they either tend to get forgotten or nobody watches them in the first place.
Orky-Kowboy wrote:Any movie featuring dragons is going to be vomit-worthy. Particularly ERAGON and that one where Sean Connery voices the dragon... think it was called DRAGONHEART
1. Doom
2. Attack of the clones
3. The phantom menace
4. Revenge of the Sith
5. The empire strikes back
6. Return of the Jedi
7. Heaven's gate
8. Terminator 3 (although i did laugh when my friend, who had taken a lot of acid, was thrown out of the cinema for screaming at various points)
9. Scary movie (me and my date walked out of this)
10. Twilight (my cousin made me sit through it :()
Out of Sight (George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez) remains, to this day, the only movie I have ever stopped watching part way through.
And I'm the type of person who hates stopping mid-way through something. I mean, feth, I still watch Heroes for crying out loud despite the 2nd and 3rd Season, and why it took quite a while for me to give up on the new-style Bill. I even gave Alias 7 weeks to make me want to keep watching it (it didn't).
The other two films I just despise are Fargo and No Country for Old Men. Talk about depressing go-nowhere waste of time films. They're both by the same people right, Cohen brothers... they should stop making films.
The recent spate of 'insert generic title here'movie films are terrible, if your going to make a parady don't just copy a film scene for scene with worse actors, worse effects and crappy jokes, (good parody examples are naked gun, airplane, not another teen movie).
The main culpret for rubbish movies are unnessecary sequels where the monster gets bigger but the drama and scripts become non-existant, this happened to jaws, alien, friday 13th, etc.
I also think the matrix sequels, star wars prequels and remastered original series are terrible. Also anything hostal or saw related.
Dungeons & Dragons is totally saved by the 'Crystal Maze' scene with Richard O'Brien.
And Jeremy Irons flailing arms...
When I saw D&D at the cinema, they had missed several major blunders in editing.
1. When Irons is flailing his arms at the grand council of wizards, a boom mic is visible hovering over his head.
2. When the guy from Right Said Fred throws the annoying black comic relief bloke off the castle wall (we all cheered at that), as he hurtles to his doom a camera crew of two is in clear shot, one is wearing a baseball hat.
Phantom menace is awful though , but i can understand why they made it that way. To prepare the younger audience of generation that never cared for the original starwars.
Stop right there, mate. Say what you want about Eragon, but you stay the feth away from Dragonheart. That was a champion of a movie. That scene with the stars? I cried. CRIED. MANLY. FETHING. TEARS.
YES. Give this man a cookie. That movie was one of the greatest movies ever made, and I will do terrible things to any person I meet in person who disrespects that movie.
Yay! Cookie!
@Cheese: LOL
What's that new film with the spy-hamsters or Geniuea Pigs? G-Force? I wanted to vomit.
Attack of the killer tomatoes 2
legaly blond 1 and 2
Mallcops
Starwars episodes 1 to 3
Alexander
four rooms
metal gear (old 80s crap film, nothing to do withthe game)
Slugs
chopping mall
Zombie hookers
Wraith 2
Starship troopers 2
FITZZ wrote:
That would be G-Force,and I feel your pain,my children watched that damned silly thing so many times I finaly hid the DVD.
Same thing with my little bro.
In fact, I find that I turn up my nose (figuratively speaking ) at pretty much any films that tend to have an animal as the central character. ESPECIALLY talking animals.
FITZZ wrote:
That would be G-Force,and I feel your pain,my children watched that damned silly thing so many times I finaly hid the DVD.
Same thing with my little bro.
In fact, I find that I turn up my nose (figuratively speaking ) at pretty much any films that tend to have an animal as the central character. ESPECIALLY talking animals.
not all movies with animals are that bad. remember the one with the three animals trying to get to sanfrancisco cause there owners left them in something like a kennal.
or shilo. the ones that are actions movies are the bad ones.
FITZZ wrote: Any film staring Ken Utsui...behold..
Automatically Appended Next Post: I should add that the Ken Utsui "Starman" films are awful in a "fun" way.
I rate this film 10 Wolverine origins.
I agree with you 100%.
Automatically Appended Next Post: @ garret
Of course not all films with animals are bad,in fact JAWS is my favorite movie.
However,when one has to deal with an 8 and 10 year old playing the same "cute" movie every chance they get..it gets old quick.
I cast my vote towards both of the Blair Witch movies. Also for those who were lucky enough not to have seen it House of the Dead actually used footage from the first game spliced into the movie. Not only did they have horribly done costumed "zombies" jumping out of haystacks in a cave they had SEGA Saturn/arcade footage put in.......for the same freakin scene.
rocklord2004 wrote: Also for those who were lucky enough not to have seen it House of the Dead actually used footage from the first game spliced into the movie. Not only did they have horribly done costumed "zombies" jumping out of haystacks in a cave they had SEGA Saturn/arcade footage put in.......for the same freakin scene.
Exactly! as many here on Dakka know I am a HUGE fan of zombie films,my DVD collection is loaded with the works of George A Romero,Lucio Fulci & various Zombie films (we are talking hundreds of movies),and even at their worst (Children shouldn't play with Dead things),I will at least be able to watch with out becoming enraged...not so with House of the Dead.
20 minutes into House of the Dead I honestly wanted to throw my television out of the window,Uwe Boll should be fed to a pack of rabid dogs for this abomination.
Lets not forget about one of his more current "masterpieces" that goes by the name Farcry. I think he read the back of Farcry Instincts and said "Hey, I could make a movie about that". With the logic he uses I'm gonna make a movie about Furbie. I'm just gonna put 2 of them next to each other and film it. Anybody wanna help me find 2 working Furbies and a camcorder to top just about anything Uwe Boll ever made?
1) Star Trek: The Motion Picture
2) The Wrath of Khan
3) The Search for Spock
4) The Voyage Home
5) The Final Frontier
6) The Undiscovered Country
7) Generations
8) First Contact
9) Insurrection
10) Nemesis
11) Star Trek
Think you missed the point. It's supposed to be the top 10 worst films, not the best.
FITZZ wrote:
That would be G-Force,and I feel your pain,my children watched that damned silly thing so many times I finaly hid the DVD.
Same thing with my little bro.
In fact, I find that I turn up my nose (figuratively speaking ) at pretty much any films that tend to have an animal as the central character. ESPECIALLY talking animals.
And yet, Dragonheart.
(Sorry, I am on your side on the Dragonheart thing... I just found your above comment humorously ironic.)
FITZZ wrote:
That would be G-Force,and I feel your pain,my children watched that damned silly thing so many times I finaly hid the DVD.
Same thing with my little bro.
In fact, I find that I turn up my nose (figuratively speaking ) at pretty much any films that tend to have an animal as the central character. ESPECIALLY talking animals.
And yet, Dragonheart.
(Sorry, I am on your side on the Dragonheart thing... I just found your above comment humorously ironic.)
We have both (rightfully) come to the conclusion that Dragonheart is full of both AWESOME and WIN in equal measure.
I was reffering to more mundane animals, such as Paws (with Billy Connoly as the voice) or G-Force. I view this as an entirely different (and utterly despicable ) faction seperate from the likes of JAWS and Aliens. (If we're talking animals then I guess those bestial sort of beings count, eh? )
Also, as a side note, it is arguable that there was no 'main' character in Dragonheart. It was more based around the interesting partnership between the two. (I felt that it concentrated more on the Dragonhunter...well, when it came to squishy, unmanly feeling...things, at least)
1)war of the living dead (dumb plot, bad acting(cept for one), and crappy VFX (actually they used make up...))
tied for 1) super mario brothers (ewwww)
2)Battlefield earth (and travolta wanted to make a sequel?!)
3)twilight (self explanitory...)
4) Transformers 2 (the first was awesome, the second one shows that michael bay should stick to explosions, not comedy)
5)Push (just boring...)
6) epic movie & disaster movie (just a piece of )
7) Corpse Bride (I just found it unpleasing)
thats all of whitch i disliked iirc
Come on guys and ladies two pages till battlefield earth *shakes head in wonderment*
That has to be one of the worst movies evar
I kind of liked mad max on water
the postman stank
Jurassic park I II III
the gak fest that is the twilight saga
Jurassic Park 1 was pretty cool, I remember going to the cinema to watch it and all the mums were dragging crying frightened children out midway through as the raptors murdered and mutilated. Even now, when televised, they edit out the dismembered arm scene and the bit when the guy on the toilet gets eaten by the TRex.
Also JP2... Scene when the guy in the car is eaten by 2 TRex, who visibly pull him in half.
I was born and raised on Jurrasic Park! I sucked it sweet AWESOME MILK from it's reptilian teet in my younger years as a mere babe. That scene with the ranger, 'Clever Girl...'. Sweet...
Did you even read the books at all the movie had like 3 or four things in common with it the names of some of the characters the title of the movie and the fact that there are dinos in it.
My wife drug me to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakual" with my nephews. I thought my eyes were gonna fall out due to how much I was rolling them.
Im sorry, but I LOVE Water World. Which just baffles me, because I absolutely HATE Keven Cosner. HATE!
Ill add a few.
Drop dead fred.
And sticking to anti Cosner, ROBIN HOOD! The guys horrible acting is what ruins this movie. You ever notice that he doesnt have an accent AT ALL until he says his name? GOD how does this guy have a career?
youbedead wrote:Mega shark vs giant octopus ( i expected so much more awesome form a movie called Mega shark vs giant octopus )
Ah yes,the film that inspired the great "who would win if a shark fought an octopus/squid"Chinesse reasturant battle that erupted between my offspring (some of you longtime Dakkites may remmember that story).
Yes,I recall that film with a great fondness.
Space Truckers
Starship Troopers 2
Batman and Robin
The Crow 2
Fist of the North Star
Battlefield Earth (Only saw alittle of this, but it was really dreadful)
Fifty wrote:I'll only name films I have actually seen:
Fist of the North Star
Is this the live action one? Because the animated one is a CLASSIC.
Also sticking only to movies I've seen:
The Last Sentinel (Don "The Dragon" Wilson and the chick who plays Starbuck in nBSG)
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (awesome collection of B-list actors/actresses....still made of fail)
Meet the Spartans
Battlefield Earth
Blood of Beasts
Godzilla (1998, US)
Toolbox Murders (2003 remake)
I'm sure I've seen other terrible films, I just forget most of them.
I think I too must have erased most all the terrible movies I've watched from memory as I could only come up with 2.
1. Green Street Hooligans-Don't know if it was because of Elijah Wood being in it, and the fact that the day previous I had watched The Two Towers and Return of the King. Yet the whole way through, while they were having punch ups and such all I could hear was a little voice in my head going,"Do you think we'll ever see the Shire again Mister Frodo?"
2.High School musical-This one is mainly down to me having to watch it so many times with my sister. I've grown a healthy disdain for all of the off shoots its spawned, just today I watched,"Vivla High school musical," which was possibly the worst dubbed movie I have ever seen.
The worst, MOST Corniest film I have ever seen is "The Gingerdead Man" Its pretty much a murderer played by Garey Busey dies and his blood goes into a gingerbread cookie batter and when they bake it as a gingerbread man he comes back to life and starts killing people it even contains the most corniest line when he is killed by another actor by getting his head bit off. the actor who kills him utters in an angry voice "got milk" and then the soul of garey busey goes into the actor who ate him aaaaand blablabla typical scarey movie ending The End. and the thing that upsets me is that theyre going to make a sequel!!!!
The second one is called The Gingerdead man 2: Passion of the crust
Girthman wrote:The worst, MOST Corniest film I have ever seen is "The Gingerdead Man" Its pretty much a murderer played by Garey Busey dies and his blood goes into a gingerbread cookie batter and when they bake it as a gingerbread man he comes back to life and starts killing people it even contains the most corniest line when he is killed by another actor by getting his head bit off. the actor who kills him utters in an angry voice "got milk" and then the soul of garey busey goes into the actor who ate him aaaaand blablabla typical scarey movie ending The End. and the thing that upsets me is that theyre going to make a sequel!!!!
The second one is called The Gingerdead man 2: Passion of the crust
Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Guys. Go track down Zombie Graveyard. Also known as 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things'
Makes Uwe Boll look like a talented director. Seriously a piss poor film you wouldn't believe. NOTHING happens for most of it, then within 5 minutes all the Beatniks are dead, and the dreadful acting, direction, lighting and sound is finally at an end.
I'd also like to add that "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" is the name of one of the worst episodes of Supernatural.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
H.B.M.C. wrote:Out of Sight (George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez) remains, to this day, the only movie I have ever stopped watching part way through.
And I'm the type of person who hates stopping mid-way through something. I mean, feth, I still watch Heroes for crying out loud despite the 2nd and 3rd Season, and why it took quite a while for me to give up on the new-style Bill. I even gave Alias 7 weeks to make me want to keep watching it (it didn't).
The other two films I just despise are Fargo and No Country for Old Men. Talk about depressing go-nowhere waste of time films. They're both by the same people right, Cohen brothers... they should stop making films.
There is, to this day, only one movie I walked out of the theater on.
Bear in mind, I've seen alot of trashy films...heck, I paid to see Elf.
Twice.
I even saw Wimbledon as part of a group of my friends(with no women present!) because it was a boring day.
For feth's sake, I actually sat through BATTLEFIELD EARTH in the theaters and thought it was worth what I paid.
But let me paint a picture for you with my imagination brush...
My friend Michael and I have got bored on a Friday night, and found out they were having a free(!free?! we're 17...with no money and no social lives. free movie?! feth yes!) showing of the upcoming movie "White Noise".
So we get there, we sit down to watch it. We get to the halfway point. Something "terrifying" happens(if I remember right, it was his dead wife suddenly appearing on his TV screen and then being attacked by 'angry ghosts') and the tweens(most of whom shouldn't have been allowed into an R movie without an accompanying adult anyways) start squealing.
...and that moment led to the single greatest phrase Mike and I have exchanged to date:
"...Why the hell did we waste 52 minutes on this?"
And that's why I hate Michael Keaton. For "White Noise"
No, I don't care what you ______ think, DRAGONHEART sucked balls and you can quote me on that until your face goes blue, I don't fething care. It SUCKED. *Spits on ground, pulls down pants and moons DRAGONHEART luvers*
H.B.M.C. wrote:The other two films I just despise are Fargo and No Country for Old Men. Talk about depressing go-nowhere waste of time films. They're both by the same people right, Cohen brothers... they should stop making films.
Coen Brothers. And they're very, very good movies.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Kanluwen wrote:...and that moment led to the single greatest phrase Mike and I have exchanged to date:
"...Why the hell did we waste 52 minutes on this?"
And that's why I hate Michael Keaton. For "White Noise"
A friend of mine grabbed a not entirely legal copy of this while in Bali. See, on the cover of a not entirely legal copies of a movie picked up in Bali the not entirely legal distributor will often copy and paste a quote from a review. It's just copy and paste, they don't read the quotes, likely because they can't, and it leads to some pretty inappropriate quotes to use to advertise your movies, especially crap movies like White Noise that were slammed by the critics.
The quote on this particular cover was 'Shocking. Shockingly pinheaded and disapointing." It pretty much summed up the movie perfectly.
Orky-Kowboy wrote:No, I don't care what you ______ think, DRAGONHEART sucked balls and you can quote me on that until your face goes blue, I don't fething care. It SUCKED. *Spits on ground, pulls down pants and moons DRAGONHEART luvers*
If I hadn't just died I'd agree, what a piece of gak. I was also pissed because the trailer hinted that the entire thing would be in first person, which seemed like a fun enough gimmick to get me to waste money on it, and it turns out that scene is only about 5 minutes long.
So bad. The dialogue was terrible too, I like both The Rock and Karl Urban and they had them saying some pretty stupid gak (especially Urban: "If they were so smart then how come they're so dead?"). Which seems like an odd thing for me to say, since The Rock is a wrestler and so has said a lot of stupid things before ever becoming a movie star.
The main culpret for rubbish movies are unnessecary sequels where the monster gets bigger but the drama and scripts become non-existant, this happened to jaws, alien
Wait, I hope you're not saying Aliens is bad! Otherwise I'll have to reply with that "all my hate" pic as well.
As for the movie that caused that reaction in the first place...Dragonheart was okay. Certainly not a terrible film, but not really all that good, either. Worth watching just because it's fething Sean Connery as a dragon!
I do have to say though, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Bowen wholesale slaughtered his entire race, killing his girlfriend not long before stumbling upon him (didn't it happen in like the same day?), and yet Draco doesn't really seem to care about all that. Nor does Bowen ever seemingly regret becoming a genocidal donkey-cave upon the realization that the boy he thought he knew was really a ruthless dick just like his father all along and that the dragon had nothing to do with it. His voice breaks a little and then it's business as usual, lol.
I don't know, their whole relationship didn't make much sense to me. Seemed like it decided to become a buddy movie just because. Sean Connery is cool though...if you want to see a really terrible movie with Sean Connery in it then track down Zardoz.
No man could ever willingly wear a costume like that. They must have had him drugged the entire time. Does Connery even remember doing Zardoz? Are the people responsible in prison (or dead)?
Also anything hostal or saw related.
Amen. I hate that crap and seriously wonder about the mental health of anyone who does.
Like my brother, who somehow finds a way to defend the villain and his actions by claiming he doesn't personally kill anybody and everyone that dies in his traps "deserves it" anyway, so it's okay. Just...no. I hate movies where the entire god-damned point is all the gore and violence and they try way too hard to gross you out.
Which is ultimately what also made AVP:R a terrible film. They made up for the ridiculously tame and boring first movie where you didn't see nary a single drop of blood, despite the fact that the creature reproduces by raping your face, impregnating you with alien love, and then exploding out of your chest causing a very messy and agonizing demise, by going completely overboard with near cartoonish levels of gore and violence, lol. And of course the story still sucks ass because we're continuing with the lame ass pyramid plot (more aliens built the pyramids crap) they came up with for the first one and it all takes place on modern-day Earth, making the whole thing look more like a lame B-movie than a sci-fi action thriller.
The "belly bursters" were also stupid. Jeez...I love the Alien series (except for Resurrection...and maybe the third one...and both AVP films...), so I would really like for them to do another good Alien film some day. You know, something like the first one. A movie that's actually scary, that genuinely makes you feel the emotion of fear.
Anyway, I also agree with Dungeons and Dragons. You gotta love how the villain just chews the scenery though, lol...you see that scene in the beginning where he's holding the scepter and being really over-the-top goofy and you just know you're in trouble. And to this day I'm still not sure what the hell this movie actually had to do with Dungeons and Dragons.
Believe it or not, they actually made a sequel. The goofy guy with blue lipstick comes back and tries to take over the world and some old knight has to gather a party together to go stop him. Now that movie played out more like a D&D game, it even references deities, monsters, and other stuff from the game. It still sucks and the effects are bad, but it's ten times the D&D movie that the first one was.
And Battlefield Earth, obviously. The fact alone that you're going to come away from watching it with your head tilted at an angle makes it gak, but when you pile everything else on...and Travolta at his worst...I'm glad I jumped out that window earlier.
Emperors Faithful wrote:I was born and raised on Jurrasic Park! I sucked it sweet AWESOME MILK from it's reptilian teet in my younger years as a mere babe.
I...uh...it doesn't work that way!
But yeah, Jurassic Park was awesome. Even though it had little in common with the book it was based on as sonofruss pointed out. That's common though, even Lord of the Rings left some things out.
Bear in mind, I've seen alot of trashy films...heck, I paid to see Elf.
Twice.
Ouch. I thought it was bad when I saw the first Transformers three times (yeah I know...if it means anything I hated the second one), but damn.
sonofruss wrote:Did you even read the books at all the movie had like 3 or four things in common with it the names of some of the characters the title of the movie and the fact that there are dinos in it.
So? I love the book and I love the movie. Sure they're barely related to one another except in the broadest of strokes but gimme a break. You can't take JP and make a scene for scene movie of it. It'd be eight hours long and cost more to make than Avatar.
House of the Dead was truly awful. So awful that it naked asian chicks couldn't save it in my eyes. It was just that bad.
1/ The Thunderbirds movie. 2 hours of my life I won't get back.
2/ Terminator Salvation. Bad acting, bad plot, bad continuity, bad film.
3/ Mary Poppins. I hated it as a kid and was forced to endure it at several parties
4/ Matrix revoloutions. When do we get the 4th film explaining it all then?
5/ Spice World. If you thought that the music was bad....
6/ The Village. A bunch of technophobes are haunted by a slow that lives in the woods
7/ Shrek the third. A real let down after the first two instalments
Some not so known bad ones I have seen to my regret:
Demon Wind
Edges of Darkness (note the plural form - not the new Mel G. one)
The Minus Man
The Lawnmower Man II
Zombie Strippers
Other, more mainstream movies I detested:
Jackie Brown
Kill Bill (both parts)
Godfather III
Most of M. Night Imadouche movies (with the exception of the sixth sense, obviously)
Starship Troopers (only 1, I have to assume the follow ons only got worse from god awful)
The Thin Red Line
As for the movie that caused that reaction in the first place...Dragonheart was okay. Certainly not a terrible film, but not really all that good, either. Worth watching just because it's fething Sean Connery as a dragon!
I do have to say though, it doesn't make a lot of sense. Bowen wholesale slaughtered his entire race, killing his girlfriend not long before stumbling upon him (didn't it happen in like the same day?), and yet Draco doesn't really seem to care about all that. Nor does Bowen ever seemingly regret becoming a genocidal donkey-cave upon the realization that the boy he thought he knew was really a ruthless dick just like his father all along and that the dragon had nothing to do with it. His voice breaks a little and then it's business as usual, lol.
I think Draco was more just simply resigned to his fate rather than not caring about whatever happened. Also, I think he was just a little bit guilty that he saved that brats life. But yeah, Bowen could have shown a bit more remorse for driving the dragons to extinction. Regardless, it was infinitely better than the sequel. *shudder*
Emperors Faithful wrote:I was born and raised on Jurrasic Park! I sucked it sweet AWESOME MILK from it's reptilian teet in my younger years as a mere babe.
he film follows the adventures of two comrades, Murat (Arkın) and Ali (Akkaya), whose ships crash on a desert planet following a space battle that is made up of footage from the actual Star Wars films as well as newsreel clips of both Soviet and American space rockets. While in the desert one of them says that perhaps it is a planet only populated by women, so the other man begins to do his whistle which he uses to attract women. However, he uses the wrong whistle, and they are then assaulted by skeletons on horseback. The pair then proceed to defeat the skeletons in hand-to-hand combat. The film's main villain then soon shows up and captures the heroes, bringing them to fight in his gladiatorial arena. The villain mentions that he was actually from Earth and is in reality a 1,000 year old wizard. He tries to defeat the Earth, but his attacks are always repelled by a shield of concentrated human brain molecules arranged to look like the Death Star from Star Wars. The only way for him to bypass this otherwise impenetrable defense is to use a human brain to bring it down. The protagonists escape their captors and flee to a cave full of refugees who fled from the tyrannical rule of the villain. While there, Murat develops a romantic connection with the only woman there (Uçar), who is tasked with looking after the children (the connection is depicted by many deep eye-contacts and nothing more than that). The scenes in which they are together often play music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Zombie minions of the dark lord soon attack the cave, and several of the children killed and turn into zombies themselves. The three protagonists then flee the cave. Resurfacing at a local bar lifted directly from Star Wars (the Mos Eisley Cantina), the two men quickly manage to find themselves in a bar brawl that attracts the attention of the main villain who suddenly appears and captures Ali and Murat.
Then the wizard separates both comrades and subsequently tries to influence them to join him. He sends his queen to seduce Ali, while he orders Murat to be brought before him. He offers Murat the rule over Earth and stars if he would join him. He reveals that he possesses the power of the Earth's ancestry in the form of a golden brain and all he needs in order to conquer Earth, is the power of a real human brain. After Murat declines, the wizard shows him that he keeps the woman and the child captive. Enraged, Murat proceeds to fight the evil monsters and skeleton guardians. The noise makes Ali leave the woman and join the fight. The comrades are disabled by laser-armed guards, however, and put through several tortures by the wizard, but their will cannot be broken. Finally, the wizard puts Murat against a mighty monster on the arena to humiliate him. Murat, however, succeeds in defeating the monster, and flees the arena taking the woman and the child with him. Ali is left in captivity.
A mentor, Peyda, then informs Murat about a sword made by "the 13th clan" by melting a mountain thousands of "space years" ago. Shortly afterwards, Murat finds the large sword shaped like a lightning bolt in a cave defended by two golden ninjas who he quickly dispatches. Now renewed by the power of the sword, he sets out to free his friend from the underground cavern where the dark lord is holding him. Unfortunately Ali is killed soon thereafter. Grief-stricken, Murat decides the next logical step is to boil his golden sword and gold-like human brain in a large pot and forge them into a pair of gauntlets and boots. Now girded with magically-endowed gloves and super-jumping boots, he sets off to find the dark lord and avenge his friend's death. After fighting the many minions, he comes face-to-face with his nemesis and karate-chops him in half, shown by covering alternating halves of the camera lens. The film ends with a Star Wars-like ending speech where the watcher learns that human brain is the strongest weapon in the whole universe.
garret wrote:why is it half the movies on here are my favorite?
Eventually it gets to the point where theres movies that are "So bad,there good"
Worth watching for the lolz.
Turkish Star Wars, Turkish Rambo, etc...heck, anything from Bollywood is so bad that it's just awesome. Look up some fight scenes on Youtube some time, they're a riot.
Anything in the old lady's DVD collection is guaranteed to be terrible. Sex and the City. Bridget Jones Part One and Bridget Jones Part Two: Attack of the Lame. I think there is a Mariah Carey Movie in there too. I prefer going to bed at 6:30 pm rather than watching anything she actually likes. Ugh.
It was the most arrogant, pretentious and snotty piece of gak with the most unlikeable characters in it. I missed watching a gakky early (pre7of9) episode of voyager for it and have regretted it ever since.
That's how gak that film is.
It's even got Cate Blanchett in it and I love her, but it still stank.
I quite liked Judge Dredd - it was and wasn't a movie based on my favourite square-jawed fascist beatstick, but it was a cool ride (except for Rob Schneider).
1. Fellowship of the rings.
2. The two towers
3. Return of the King
4. Transformers (1986).
5. Fist of the North Star (animated)
6. The Matrix:Reloaded
7. The Matrix:Revolutions
8. Battlefield Earth
9. Super Mario Brothers.
10. Kill Bill (both parts)
11. Reservoir dogs
12. Pulp Fiction.
(Quentin Tarantino is the USA's Uwe Boll).
Hey chromedog, what's with all the classics on your list? Let me guess, you also hated Inglourius Basterds, Avatar, the old Terminator movies, the original Star Wars Trilogy, and 300?
MasterDRD wrote:Hey chromedog, what's with all the classics on your list? Let me guess, you also hated Inglourius Basterds, Avatar, the old Terminator movies, the original Star Wars Trilogy, and 300?
Didn't bother seeing Inglorious Basterds. The combo of QT and BP just left me numb inside. His previous movies were bad enough. Also 300. Can't hate what I haven't seen.
Avatar I quite liked, but I've been hanging out for it for the last 15 or so years. The first two terminator movies were quite good also (haven't seen Salvation and wish I hadn't seen T3 but it doesn't rank high enough on bad movies to score a top 10). The original Star Wars trilogy is pretty naff, actually. The Empire Strikes Back is the good one - and I liked it enough to score a 12" laserdisc copy (with a HD screen, it comes through crystal clear).
@EF: Actually, I quite like kittens. Undecided on candy.
It's dogs I'll happily run down in my car - then back over them to finish them off.
@Snikkyd: Those two matrix movies, with the exception of the scenes involving the APUs, were turgid piles of crap.
All of LOTR, yes seriously. The books bored me silly in high school. The movies put me to sleep. All of them. I slept through Pellenor fields and the last two thirds of ROTK.
Fantasy mostly does this to me though. Can't stand the pap. I'd rather read the Snorri Eddas again.
C'mon, Ye Olde Transformers? Optimus dies, man! He dies!
Matrix the first one was decent enough sure, and I didn't think the follwing ones were so bad. Mediocre yes, but not really deserving a place on The List. Nor did I reckon that the LotR deserves a spot there. I think you're just putting them on The List becuase they were so popular with the masses.
No, I put them there because I really didn't like them.
I really don't like the lord of the rings. It is bad fantasy (there is no good fantasy in my paradigm - just bad fantasy and worse fantasy. Twilight is worse fantasy.), tedious and soporific. IMO. YMMV. LOTR works better than NyQuil for me.
I'll happily watch the matrix trilogy again, but the 2nd and 3rd ones were not good movies. Many of the other movies people have listed I have not seen - and I don't want to, but I can't 'hate' them until I have experienced them.
Yeah, 1986 Transformers movie. Optimus dies. So what? He was a frigging transforming cab-over semi-trailler/robot thing from a line of characters meant to sell toys to kids. The movie was cheesy as hell - and I liked that kind of metal back then. I never watched the original cartoon series and never formed the attachment.
I didn't cry when my cat died. I didn't cry when my grandparents died. I didn't cry when my dad died (in front of me). I'm sure as feck not gonna cry over a cartoon.
I didn't cry when my cat died. I didn't cry when my grandparents died. I didn't cry when my dad died (in front of me). I'm sure as feck not gonna cry over a cartoon.
One day i think it will all come out.
I cried when the terminator sank in the lava pit thing in terminator 2. sometimes it comes out in the most slowed places if you hold it in.
=Laserblast (the MST3K of this film make me want to commit homocide...)
=Lake Placid (and any sequals thereof...)
=Speed Racer
=Anything from Michael Bay (special effects and sweet, mindless hollywood brainsex do not a movie make.)
=Laserblast (yes, it's really THAT bad...)
=Plan 9 From outer space (it's a cult classic, but if it weren't for Laserblast, it would be to movies what ET is to videogames)
=Laserblast (no, seriously....)
=Any Saw film past, say, the second one...
=Dungeons and dragons
=Laserblast (my hatred for this film knows no bounds... I could almost justify the torture and brutal disemboweling of the extended families of everyone involved in making this film...)
=Pluto Nash, because that movie belongs on everyone's list.
chromedog wrote:I quite liked Judge Dredd - it was and wasn't a movie based on my favourite square-jawed fascist beatstick, but it was a cool ride (except for Rob Schneider).
4. Transformers (1986).
In the immortal words of Galvatron, "This is bad comedy."
Romeo Must Die with Jet Li. Went with a friend, and at the end of the movie, we looked at each other and both said, "if I went to this by myself, I'd have left after about 20 minutes."
Went with the wife and tween niece and nephew to see Marky Mark and the Planet of the Apes and Jurassic Park III on the same weekend. I feel asleep in both films.
Meet the Parents. I just found it too predictable to be funny. And I really can't stand Ben Stiller unless he plays a total tool like in Dodgeball. And I can't stand DeNiro in any of these comedies and tear-jerkers that he does. He's Robert freakin' DeNiro, play a tough cop or a criminal!
On the Coen brothers. I liked Fargo. No Country For Old Men was a painful viewing.
AvP. It had so many contradictions to established fluff it wasn't funny. Predators are drawn to heat, but come to a pyramid in Antarctica. Good thing those humans were there for victims! Chestbursters take like, what, 15 minutes to emerge? Sigh.
Emperors Faithful wrote:C'mon, Ye Olde Transformers? Optimus dies, man! He dies!
Matrix the first one was decent enough sure, and I didn't think the follwing ones were so bad. Mediocre yes, but not really deserving a place on The List. Nor did I reckon that the LotR deserves a spot there. I think you're just putting them on The List becuase they were so popular with the masses.
Yeah, the second and third Matrix movies weren't nearly as good as the original, but they weren't horrible abominations of mankind like most of these movies. LOTR is the one that really confuses me though. Seriously? Who doesn't like it, I'm not a huge fan of fantasy myself but Its still one of my favorite series. Oh well.
MasterDRD wrote:Hey chromedog, what's with all the classics on your list? Let me guess, you also hated Inglourius Basterds, Avatar, the old Terminator movies, the original Star Wars Trilogy, and 300?
Psst. Tarantino's a hack. He takes themes from classics and then turns them into swear filled adrenaline junkie flicks.
MasterDRD wrote:Hey chromedog, what's with all the classics on your list? Let me guess, you also hated Inglourius Basterds, Avatar, the old Terminator movies, the original Star Wars Trilogy, and 300?
Psst. Tarantino's a hack. He takes themes from classics and then turns them into swear filled adrenaline junkie flicks.
And for the record?
Inglorious Bastards sucked.
I dunno if I'd go that far... he makes movies that are fluff, and he's never claimed to do anything but that. All that being said, without tarantino, Hero would never had been released in theatres stateside, and that would have been a shame.
It was the most arrogant, pretentious and snotty piece of gak with the most unlikeable characters in it. I missed watching a gakky early (pre7of9) episode of voyager for it and have regretted it ever since.
That's how gak that film is.
It's even got Cate Blanchett in it and I love her, but it still stank.
Oh god that movie was terrible. This is proving that crap gets erased from the brain. I actually sat through the whole thing trying to understand it all. Never happened. It was just too bad
And Id like to add COLD MOUNTAIN to the list. Im sorry, it doesnt matter HOW MANY awards a movie gets, that doesnt mean its a good one. That movie sucked sooooo friggin bad.
KingCracker wrote:What in gods name is the laserblast? and what is the MST3K thing everyone is talking about? Im curious of the untold terrible
Laserblast was an amazingly awful sci-fi b movie...
MST3K, or Mystery Science Theatre 3000, was a show that's whole premise was a guy and 2 of his robot pals cracking jokes through really bad sci-fi films, ranging from old Mothra and Jet Jaguar flicks, to bad 50's and 60's era sci-fi, to cheesy 80's scifi/horror films. It was truly epic. Go to your local library and get it on DVD.
Lets see. 10: the stepford wifes. I cant think anymore. i like cruddy movies. ill watch pretty much anything and find it enjoyable. Is that a curse or a blessing. Also Ultramarines the movie is number one: i can already tell its going to be horrible.
I would have thought more movies so-horrible-they're-good would have been listed. I used to work in a video store, so I've seen movies you would never actually pay to see and they would NEVER show on TV. The best/worst movie I ever saw that wasn't a porn is hands down....
FRANKENHOOKER.
Please tell me someone else here has seen it.
The only movie I ever walked out of was First Wives Club.
The only movie I ever got drug out of was Irreversible. (My friend wouldn't watch anymore) It is by far the most graphic movie I've ever seen. I've got a copy of it just so I can dare friends to watch it. To date, no one has taken me up on it.
CitizenPrime wrote:I would have thought more movies so-horrible-they're-good would have been listed. I used to work in a video store, so I've seen movies you would never actually pay to see and they would NEVER show on TV. The best/worst movie I ever saw that wasn't a porn is hands down....
FRANKENHOOKER.
Please tell me someone else here has seen it.
The only movie I ever walked out of was First Wives Club.
The only movie I ever got drug out of was Irreversible. (My friend wouldn't watch anymore) It is by far the most graphic movie I've ever seen. I've got a copy of it just so I can dare friends to watch it. To date, no one has taken me up on it.
Not only have I seen Frankenhooker,I own a copy of it (I have a HUGE collection of horror/sci-fi films),it's awful but funny as hell.
1. Land of the Lost 2. Any of the 'movie' movies (epic movie, scary movie etc) 3. Alien Ressurection. 4. Street Fighter 5. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 6. The Phantom Menace 7. The Day the Earth Stood Still 8. Alien vs Predator 2 9: Cat Woman 10. The third Matrix
All of the " " vs " " movies. They have the worst plots and cheapest actors I have seen. Jaws 3 also makes my (never-ending) list of bad movies. Despite being made after the first, the shark spents half its life as a paper cut-out.
Boss 'eadbreaka wrote:1. Land of the Lost
2. Any of the 'movie' movies (epic movie, scary movie et)
3. Alien Ressurection.
4. Street Fighter
5. Cheaper by the Dozen 2
6. The Phantom Menace
7. The Day the Earth Stood Still
8. Alien vs Predator 2
9: Cat Woman
10. The third Matrix
Why did you have to put most of the movie i love up there?
Snikkyd wrote:I don't get it, why is there so much hate for QT, yet people rarely mention Uwe Boll, whom I consider to be far worse.
Because QT gets paraded around as some brilliant indie film maker, but no one thinks Boll makes anything more than b-movie gorefests. QT has made some good movies, but he's made some real stinkers too.
Wanted was based on a really bad ass comicbook. They absolutely gutted the comic and made that garbage of a movie. It sucks. Yes she's hot. Yes the bullet time is cool, but it still sucks. Check out the comic and get angry at just how awesome that movie COULD HAVE been.
I saw Wanted, and provided you can suspend all belief and try not to think about how much the movie rips of the Matrix for 100-odd minutes, then it's quite enjoyable.
Sort of...
CitizenPrime wrote:Wanted was based on a really bad ass comicbook. They absolutely gutted the comic and made that garbage of a movie. It sucks. Yes she's hot. Yes the bullet time is cool, but it still sucks. Check out the comic and get angry at just how awesome that movie COULD HAVE been.
The comic book with the superhero who looks like Eminem and who's superpower is to be really good at shooting? With the villain that was made up of poo and called gak? Where the basic idea of the power fantasy is realised by having a gormless loser realise his potential by becoming a celebrity raping, serial killer that looks like Eminem? Really, that comic book?
It's a shame, because behind all that there were some interesting ideas lurking in the background - the commentary on why comic books became so dark in the early 90s, and on exactly what supervillains would do with the world if they ever did manage to conquer it.
The movie sucked about the same as the comic book, if you ask me. It was visually inventive and full of spectable but did anyone really care about world that was created? None of the characters did anything creative or interesting at any point, so all we were left with was spectacle and a really silly idea about assassins receiving their orders from a magic loom.
1. Hannah Montana the Movie
Like the show and music weren`t bad enough.
2. Twilight
I know, cliche, but seriously. That freak is supposed to be the cute guy?
He looks like Slaanesh and Nurgle fused. And he sparkles?! That`s not a vampire, that`s
a sticker.
3. High School Musical
Nothing but a piece of s**t!
4. Star Wars: The Clone Wars
It`s an abomination, you hear me?!
3. Hong Kong vs. Godzilla
Why is this a horror movie? It`s supposed to be a Cartoon.
5. Finding Nemo
Yes, i saw it. Yes, it sucked.
6. Epic Movie
Epic Fail is a better name.
7. Indiana Jones: Anything
Sure, good if you like `em, but i can`t watch it without falling asleep.
I just saw a trailer for a new movie called, "Birdemic." Its on yahoo movies. I can't believe they are even showing the trailer. It is amazingly horrible just from the few seconds it shows. You could do better on a laptop.
Yes yes they did they did learn thou it didn't have any "game footage" in it or spinning round the "heros" before gunfight scene.
it did however have even worse effects and its main pull was it had the actor that plays hiro from heroes in it however he played a zombie and was in it for about a minite the acting, cast effects were terrible they tried the classic bad sequal move of hiring a porn star/ actress willing to be naked however unlike starshiptrooper 2 she didn't spend the entire move naked just the first 5mins of the film.
starshiptroopers 3 was quite good thou i thought then again i liked mega shark vs giant octopus, battlefield earth and dusk till dawn 3 and recently watched sliders series 1 to 4 so you can decide if i matter
Terje-Tubby wrote:
7. Indiana Jones: Anything
Sure, good if you like `em, but i can`t watch it without falling asleep.
Whaaa. Thats weirder than the Aliens guy. Even though some may complain about the new one. For me thats like saying you don't like the original Star Wars.
At first, I was like, "woah" but after reading your rant, I was like, "woah dude".
Personally, I really enjoy Aliens. But, I see Anti-Mag's point. Alien is a bleak horror film. Aliens is entertainment. Entertainment that I enjoy immensely, but still - entertainment. Alien is a haunted house in space. Aliens is a 50's WW2 movie in space.
Not to derail this thread too much, but I've always been perplexed why 20th Fox never made a sequel called Colonial Marines. Find a new gribbly monster, a new platoon of stereotypes, and more explosions!
At first, I was like, "woah" but after reading your rant, I was like, "woah dude".
Personally, I really enjoy Aliens. But, I see Anti-Mag's point. Alien is a bleak horror film. Aliens is entertainment. Entertainment that I enjoy immensely, but still - entertainment. Alien is a haunted house in space. Aliens is a 50's WW2 movie in space.
Not to derail this thread too much, but I've always been perplexed why 20th Fox never made a sequel called Colonial Marines. Find a new gribbly monster, a new platoon of stereotypes, and more explosions!
I just re-read that thread. You were there Dietrich! You were very open to ideas, unlike some of the others
Automatically Appended Next Post: it looks so stupid.
my least favorite movies-
1)it
2megaladon
3)avp:requium
4)alien:resurection
5)2012
6)in the name of the king
7)disturbia
8)tomb raider 2
9)ice spiders
10)underworld 1,2,3
Oh god wanted.....seriously? Never watched it, never want to EVER. As soon as I saw the part in the preview where they were "whipping the bullet" I think I vomited in my mouth. No, Im all for OTT action and gun battles sure....but there is a friggin limit!
OOOOOHHHHHH mystery science theater 3k. Yea Ive watched some of those shows before. All the letters confused ma brain
Tim Curry as Pennywise was (IMO) the only good thing about the movie "IT",but I belive that's becuase the book just didn't translate to film very well.
I also recall the first time I saw "IT",I kept expecting Pennywise to appear in fishnets & lacy under things singing "Sweet Transvestite".
Ghost in the Darkness wrote:Just movies I hate in No order.
- Indiana Jones 4
- Matrix 2&3
- Mission Impossible 1,2,3
- All Scary Movies
- All American Pie Movies
- The Happening
Why the hate for Mission Impossible? At least the first one was pretty good, I loved that whole scene with Ethan in the vault (Trying to drop down and hack the computer without touching the ground). Plus, the old Nintendo 64 game was awesome. One of the best (and first) spy games released, especially since it actually had sneaking and gadget use to make it interesting.
Although I'll agree with you on just about everything else. Scary/Epic/Date/Superhero movies were all pretty stupid, as were the American Pie films. I still don't see why people hate the newest Indiana Jones movie to such a degree. While the ending was just silly (Aliens, really?) the movie was pretty action-packed, and it had plenty of funny moments.
FITZZ wrote: Tim Curry as Pennywise was (IMO) the only good thing about the movie "IT",but I belive that's becuase the book just didn't translate to film very well. I also recall the first time I saw "IT",I kept expecting Pennywise to appear in fishnets & lacy under things singing "Sweet Transvestite".
Or the devil!!!!
Personally Stephen Kings movies are few and far between that I like. Usually they are just too weird to cross that gap. I like The Stand and shinning though. Those are easily my 2 faves from him. The rest though........ could make a list of gak-tacular movies
IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
When i saw the preview of this message i thought you were listing your top 10 worst... i almost had a stroke
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
When i saw the preview of this message i thought you were listing your top 10 worst... i almost had a stroke
Sorry about that corpses..
If I were however to list "Stephen King films that are awful" I'd have to say.
The Running Man
IT The Stand
Tommyknockers
Sleepwalkers
Silver Bullet (adapted from the book Cycle of the Werewolf)
Salems Lot ( I hate both versions of this film,the 1970s version with David Soul & James Mason and the more recent version with Rob Lowe and people I can't remember.)
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
When i saw the preview of this message i thought you were listing your top 10 worst... i almost had a stroke
Sorry about that corpses..
If I were however to list "Stephen King films that are awful" I'd have to say.
The Running Man
IT The Stand
Tommyknockers
Sleepwalkers
Silver Bullet (adapted from the book Cycle of the Werewolf)
Salems Lot ( I hate both versions of this film,the 1970s version with David Soul & James Mason and the more recent version with Rob Lowe and people I can't remember.)
aww.... The Running Man is a great movie! in the same way that Commando and Total Recall are good movies!
aww.... The Running Man is a great movie! in the same way that Commando and Total Recall are good movies!
"sub zero....now...PLAIN ZERO!!!"
That was a pretty funny "Arnoldism"
And I agree that The Running Man is a good movie in the same sense that Commando and Total Recall are good movies,in that none of them are very good movies...but can be good for a laugh or two.
My fav line in there was
"OVER HERE CHRISTMAS TREE"
Ive no clue how I would even spell that in Ahnold talk. Also I had no idea that King wrote The green mile and Shawshank redemption. Those movies are really good. Thats surprising
dietrich wrote:Not to derail this thread too much, but I've always been perplexed why 20th Fox never made a sequel called Colonial Marines. Find a new gribbly monster, a new platoon of stereotypes, and more explosions!
They sorta did, just decided to make the Colonial Marines the bad guys this time:
Automatically Appended Next Post: For some reason, only Stephen King's non-horror stories make good movies:
Shawshank
Stand By Me
Green Mile
The horro ones (even The Shining & Carrie) are just plain bad.
Ever seen the movie version of Dreamcatcher? I heard it was pretty bad, and nowhere near the novel. (Only ever seen the movie - just as a movie, not too bad, but I heard it was terrible compared to the book form).
Locclo wrote:Ever seen the movie version of Dreamcatcher? I heard it was pretty bad, and nowhere near the novel. (Only ever seen the movie - just as a movie, not too bad, but I heard it was terrible compared to the book form).
Yup its pretty bad, actually its worse than that.
Fritzz: ummmmm silver bullet made your worst list? shame on you, its one of the few werewolf movies where the werewolf actually has a reason for killing rather than just rage. sure its old, and sure it has a few weakpoints but i refute your opinion on this. ( its one of my favorite werewolf movies. hands down much better than half of the fuzzy movies out there.)
I did hesitate for a moment or two prior to adding Silver Bullet to that list as it does have a certian amount of charm.
My primary reason for adding it is that the movie didn't do the book justice.
However,I certainly wouldn't say it's the best werewolf film ever made,(not that you did),IMO American werewolf in London,Dog Soilders,The Howling & The Wolf Man (the original Lon Chaney JR. version) are all vastly superior films.
chaplaingrabthar wrote:
The horror ones (even The Shining & Carrie) are just plain bad.
I have to disagree about the Shining. The Shining is a great film. Carrie, yeah, it was lame.
Being a HUGE Stephen King fan and a HUGE kubrick fan..The Shining is a paradox. It is loosely based on the book...but as far as film, cinematography, subltey, direction, writing, and storytelling goes.....The Shining is hands down one of the greatest suspense/horror/movies in general...ever.
I have got to add "Where the wild things are." to this list.
Not so much due to the fact it was an awful film,wich I found it meh,I got all the symbolism and social comentary..it was just dull,but more so to "marketing".
This film was marketed as a "childrens film",aimed at a young audience,wild thing toys in happy meals..etc.
Now,anyone who has seen this film and can claim it is a film for children obviously dosn't have children.
I watched it with my son and he seemed quite depressed by the whole film,now,I'm not one of those "wrap your kids in bubble wrap and protect them from the big bad world parents",but FFS this was obviously NOT a film for youngsters and should not have been marketed as such.
Oh well I honestly blame myself...I normaly watch films first and decide if they are appropriate for my kids to watch..I didn't do that with this film..didn't feel like I had to..my mistake.
FITZZ wrote: I have got to add "Where the wild things are." to this list.
Not so much due to the fact it was an awful film,wich I found it meh,I got all the symbolism and social comentary..it was just dull,but more so to "marketing".
This film was marketed as a "childrens film",aimed at a young audience,wild thing toys in happy meals..etc.
Now,anyone who has seen this film and can claim it is a film for children obviously dosn't have children.
I watched it with my son and he seemed quite depressed by the whole film,now,I'm not one of those "wrap your kids in bubble wrap and protect them from the big bad world parents",but FFS this was obviously NOT a film for youngsters and should not have been marketed as such.
Oh well I honestly blame myself...I normaly watch films first and decide if they are appropriate for my kids to watch..I didn't do that with this film..didn't feel like I had to..my mistake.
Thats how Gremlins was and its considered good. But then again Gremlins was so crazy kids probably enjoyed it.
Hawaii- about some god botherer upsetting the natives, and boring the viewer to death, about 3 hours too long.
But even worse, "Song of Norway", a bio-pic about composer Grieg. If you've not seen it, don't ever try. It's less fun than removing your genitals with your own teeth.
Yeah, I watched Where the Wild Things Are with my kids when it was in theaters, and I honestly couldn't tell you if I liked it or not. My 5 year old liked it because it had cool looking monsters but doesn't get why it had sad music and crying monsters.
The 12 year old was bored and thought it was depressing.
Whoever said the mario bros. movie 1st give them a medal. I was 3/4 when i watched that and it was the 1st time my parents heard me swear, that completly changed my perspective of the great games and ruined my early childhood.
top 10?
in no particular order
1. Mario bros.
2.Starship Troopers 3
3.epic movie blah blah blah
4.Any game that got turned into a movie.
5. 2nd matrix
6. Saw/Hostel. Its just gore porn! seriously watch a psychological horror.
7.Black sheep. Just. Not. Funny
8. Madagacar. I wanted to kill myself.
9. Harry Potter films, steadly got worse and further from the books.
10.Twilight. Obvious
VikingScott wrote:Whoever said the mario bros. movie 1st give them a medal. I was 3/4 when i watched that and it was the 1st time my parents heard me swear, that completly changed my perspective of the great games and ruined my early childhood.
top 10? in no particular order 1. Mario bros. 2. WATER WORLD! FAILED LIKE LAST YEARS FOOTBALL SEASON. 3.epic movie blah blah blah 4.Any game that got turned into a movie. 5. 3rd matrix sucked like sarah palin 6. Saw/Hostel. Its just gore porn! seriously watch a psychological horror. 7.Black sheep. Just. Not. Funny 8. WATER WORLD. I wanted to kill myself. 9. Harry Potter films, steadly got worse and further from the books. 10.Twilight. Obvious is it? The Entire movie i was forced to watch, I was tied down to a chair to see it.
THIS MAN SPEAKS THE TRUTH! There you go fixed an edited! Mario Brothers Sucked the 2nd matrix was awesome 3rd sucked Saw Agreed Black sheep? MAdagacar-thats a kids movie but ok, Replace with water world because after watching that i wanted to destory it -.- Harry Potter-Sucked completely no exceptions! Twlight kind obvious? eh? well thats all the criticism i can boost up for today!
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
FITZZ wrote:
If I were however to list "Stephen King films that are awful" I'd have to say.
The Running Man
IT The Stand
Tommyknockers
Sleepwalkers
Silver Bullet (adapted from the book Cycle of the Werewolf)
Salems Lot ( I hate both versions of this film,the 1970s version with David Soul & James Mason and the more recent version with Rob Lowe and people I can't remember.)
Now run a comparison of Steven King books adapted to film that he hand a hand in and Steven King books where he wasn't involved so much.
You'll see a trend here I think... He's best kept well away from his films and, regrettably these days, well away from writing... (I want to beat him about the face with a dead stoat for the Dark Tower series).
so far i haven't seen any mention of a few of mine.
Mortal Kombat 2
The love Guru
Thrasher: the movie (horrid Skater movie)
Jack-O ( my wife loves cheesy B-Movies but damn this was B A D)
G-force
Titanic
Dungeons and Dragons... soo much hate for this... I mean a fething beholder acting like a watchdog... MUST KILL DIRECTOR! and the commentary and interview he was like... OMG I LUVZ D&D!
Paranormal Activity really... you had to make Blair Witch again.....
Blair witch 1 and 2
and for something completely different i give you .....
Your absolutely correct,it appears the more "hands on" King is with his movie adaptations,the more gak they turn out.
And yes,The Dark Tower series (the ones I read) were putrid.
@ VikingScott.
While Black Sheep was in no way shape or form a "great" film,I found it very amusing.
It put me in mind of the old Troma films,not great movies..but utterly hysterical.
Black sheep also put me in mind of the kind of movies that Peter Jackson USED to make - before he got sick of working for free and spending 6 years making a film out of his own funding.
Check out Brain dead or bad taste sometime.
The idea of were sheep/zombie sheep was just ludicrous enough to send it all into parody territory.
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
The Stephen King works that have given decent treatment by talented people have generally worked out pretty well, in fact he's got a really high strike rate. The Stephen King horror stuff that's been made as straight to TV stuff has sucked.
I think King's reputation for hard to translate work has a lot more to do with how much straight to TV stuff tends to suck than anything to do with King's material.
FITZZ wrote: IMO The Green Mile,The Shawshank Redemption, The Shinning,Cujo and Carrie are the only Stephen King books that translated fairly well to movies.
As you stated KC,most of Kings books just don't "cross the gap" very well.
Don't forget Stand by Me, Apt Pupil and Misery.
Very true,I totaly forgot those,basicly due to Stand by Me going under a different name in print (The Body--IIRC),and Apt Pupil was a short story in a colection and just slipped my mind,both are however good print to film adaptations of Kings work.
Now as for Misery,good adaptation,I'll grant that,however seeing James Cann in such a helpless situation just makes me want to "Go to the matresses"...especialy considering his toll both misfortunes years before .
VikingScott wrote:OH GODS YES!
The trailer made i look like a good parody but nooooooooo. It was awful
I laughed at so much stuff in that film.
If you slap a grenade, who's pin has been pulled, it will blow up.
If said slapped grenade didn't blow up when slapped, it will blow up when it hits the ground.
If you get crushed by a couch, you stay crushed.
If you get stabbed by space tentacle things, you die. End of story.
Amen Pipboy,I watched that gak with my son last week (he likes dinosuars and he likes sharks ...so.),I honestly feel like a bad parent for allowing my offspring to view such utter crap.
Sasori wrote:I wonder where the Break down at SCI-FI is. They have some good shows, then they have movies like...
Dinoshark...
Honestly the Sci-Fi chanel (or SyFy) IMO is a tremendous let down,I mean there is literaly 60 + years of Sci-Fi films floating about (some great,some not so...none as bad as most of the gak they show) that could be aired,however for reasons I can't seem to grasp Sci-Fi airs crap like Dinoshark and Ghost Hunters.
I don't know about the rest of you,but I'll gladly watch 1950's B-films over "Ice Spiders" or "Dinoshark" any day.
At least the 1950's B-films there is an attempt to make a real movie with real actors and a script not something in order to get out of film school. For my money there is nothing better than "Them" or "Forbidden Planet" to kill a couple of hours.
Eragon, the 2005 film (no, not film. Doesn't qualify as a film.)
Good God, I don't watch a huge amount of movies but that was without a doubt the biggest piece of SH*T I have ever watched. I recommend anyone who sees the director to bring him to me....alive.
I thought the book was OK, was fairly excited about the movie, and when I saw it....well, for some reason no one else wanted to leave, so I was stuck there, sandiwiched between two large people shoving popcorn into their face, watching a movie so bad, I turned down an invite to the snack bar so I could have my folks drive me home...so I could reflect that yes, their really is such thing as a loser director.
Maybe I liked the book better than I thought, and thus the movie was made to be awful in my eyes for not doing justice to me. But that was without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen.
Sasori wrote:I wonder where the Break down at SCI-FI is. They have some good shows, then they have movies like...
Dinoshark...
Honestly the Sci-Fi chanel (or SyFy) IMO is a tremendous let down,I mean there is literaly 60 + years of Sci-Fi films floating about (some great,some not so...none as bad as most of the gak they show) that could be aired,however for reasons I can't seem to grasp Sci-Fi airs crap like Dinoshark and Ghost Hunters. I don't know about the rest of you,but I'll gladly watch 1950's B-films over "Ice Spiders" or "Dinoshark" any day.
I've always wondered that too. There's so many great Sci-Fi movies they could show there, and yet they only have these crappy original movies? Seriously, there's barely anything I even recognize on there, except maybe Dr. Who and Stargate.
Edit: Today I was checking the channels and Aliens was on Sci-Fi. Go figure.
Sasori wrote:I wonder where the Break down at SCI-FI is. They have some good shows, then they have movies like...
Dinoshark...
Honestly the Sci-Fi chanel (or SyFy) IMO is a tremendous let down,I mean there is literaly 60 + years of Sci-Fi films floating about (some great,some not so...none as bad as most of the gak they show) that could be aired,however for reasons I can't seem to grasp Sci-Fi airs crap like Dinoshark and Ghost Hunters.
I don't know about the rest of you,but I'll gladly watch 1950's B-films over "Ice Spiders" or "Dinoshark" any day.
I've always wondered that too. There's so many great Sci-Fi movies they could show there, and yet they only have these crappy original movies? Seriously, there's barely anything I even recognize on there, except maybe Dr. Who and Stargate.
Edit: Today I was checking the channels and Aliens was on Sci-Fi. Go figure.
I saw that as well,perhaps the suits at Sci-Fi are taking notice of the crap ratings they get and are attempting to become an Actual "Sci-Fi" network,but who knows,next week they may be showing a "Super Snake vs Super Squid" marathon.
I just couldn't stand it, how it became a cult classic is beyond me.
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