Tempe, AZ -- A dead tree is creating quite a stir in one neighborhood in Tempe these days. Neighbors say the carved woodwork went up in the backyard of a home in the 2000 block of E. Dunbar a few weeks ago.

"They carved it, all by themselves it looks like," said Susan Wood, who lives nearby.

"I'm a little bit speechless," said Wood. "A little bit funny but probably something that needs to be taken down."

"I'm thinking it looks a little phallic," said Tim Sunday who was driving by.

"It's 8 feet tall," said Aaron Freidman who walks his dog by the carved object daily, " It's a big tree that was carved into a male phallus."

The City of Tempe received at least one anonymous complaint about the carved tree last week. The owner was issued a violation notice for having a dead tree, said Jeff Tamulevich, code compliance administrator for the City of Tempe.

"The violation was served," said Tamulevich.

Neighbors say the tree was dead and unattractive, before it was carved up. The wood now peaks over the side of a cement wall in the owner's backyard where it is visible to people walking by.

The homeowner was not available for comment right away.

Emboldened emphasis mine.

Click the link. There's a picture.

http://www.ksdk.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=195855&catid=28

Eric

huh huh... he said... wood...

Lol...this should be added to a list of ways to make annoying neighbors move.

All they need do is cut the tree down and erect it as a sculpture, then it will be protected by the First Amendment.

(See what I did there?)

They could probably sell it to the Japanese.

http://tomuraya.co.jp/wakamiya-10.htm

Kilkrazy wrote:All they need do is cut the tree down and erect it as a sculpture, then it will be protected by the First Amendment.

(See what I did there?)

Yes...I see what you did thar.

Darth Bob wrote:

Kilkrazy wrote:All they need do is cut the tree down and erect it as a sculpture, then it will be protected by the First Amendment.

(See what I did there?)

Yes...I see what you did thar.

What?
What did he do?

What's the big deal about the word sculpture?

All he said was that they could erec... Oh. Heh heh heh. Yeah. ; )

ICWUTUDIDTHAR.

For those (like me) to lazy to click links

looming penis tree is looming

Woah! Where did you find that picture of me sunbathing in my garden?

Albatross wrote:Woah! Where did you find that picture of me sunbathing in my garden?

ROFL had to happen eventually

Anyone watch the video? That "Susan Wood" woman, who looks like Anne Coulter IMO, seems to be exhibiting more than idle curiosity.

Manchu wrote:looming penis tree is looming

I considered sigging this...for about 3 seconds.

LOL well this was woody

Lol.....Reminds me of the Snow days we had, where the Year 11's bbuilt a giant snow penis on the field .


Good times. Good times.

Fellow I know has a penis carved into a tree in his front yard. Now that pissed off the neighbours.

I wonder what happens if the Sap rises?

My willy has birds living it - is this normal?

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I wonder what happens if the Sap rises?

You HAD to go there, didn't you?

"Maybe its a bird" ROFLMAO!!! Stupid fat women these days.

You know, if they trimmed away the shrubs at the bottom it would look bigger.

Little lord Fauntleroy wrote:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:I wonder what happens if the Sap rises?

You HAD to go there, didn't you?

Oh yes! It had to be done.

alot of the trees in the backround looked like penises.

$20 says that if he had turned it into a pair of giant tits nobody would have complained.

Nah. Then he'd have all the women in a heated frenzy.

THIS IS AWESOME! THAT IS ALL!

Kilkrazy wrote:All they need do is cut the tree down and erect it as a sculpture, then it will be protected by the First Amendment.

(See what I did there?)

They could probably sell it to the Japanese.

http://tomuraya.co.jp/wakamiya-10.htm

Looks a little sunburnt might need some lotion.....

Well, someone has too much time on their hands...and a lot of talent.

$20 says that if he had turned it into a pair of giant tits nobody would have complained.

Nah. Then he'd have all the women in a heated frenzy.

Oh yeah, it would have been a much bigger deal than this. Feminists all over would be furious, they'd be protesting outside the house and demanding he be jailed or fined, lol.

And who said nothing grows in the shade!

Needs laquer though, he should ask someone to come and polish his end. It would only cost $5 and he would really feel the benefit.

notprop wrote:Needs laquer though, he should ask someone to come and polish his end. It would only cost $5 and he would really feel the benefit.

I don't think laquer is such a good idea. Imagine the fire hazard. One errant spark and people will think the man is a member of a Gay Splinter-Group of the Ku Klux Klan.

It needs protection from the elements. Some kind of hat, or helmet, would be a good idea.

I may have a spare that would fit it. I have to have them custom made, but I wouldn't mind helping out.

What colour is it?

Monster Rain wrote:

notprop wrote:Needs laquer though, he should ask someone to come and polish his end. It would only cost $5 and he would really feel the benefit.

I don't think laquer is such a good idea. Imagine the fire hazard. One errant spark and people will think the man is a member of a Gay Splinter-Group of the Ku Klux Klan.

I really don't think that it is appropriate to mention splinters when talking about a phallus!

Kilkrazy wrote:It needs protection from the elements. Some kind of hat, or helmet, would be a good idea.

I hear the German's make the best.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

Kilkrazy wrote:It needs protection from the elements. Some kind of hat, or helmet, would be a good idea.

I hear the German's make the best.

True but I prefer a more classical look. If he had the money he could have it protected with perfectly tuned bronze, he could have a bell end of sorts.

Very tasteful.

notprop wrote:

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:

Kilkrazy wrote:It needs protection from the elements. Some kind of hat, or helmet, would be a good idea.

I hear the German's make the best.

True but I prefer a more classical look. If he had the money he could have it protected with perfectly tuned bronze, he could have a bell end of sorts.

Very tasteful.

If it is going to be laquered then surely purple is the only way forward, n'est-ce pas?

Not sure? Purple might anger up the local wildlife, the last thing he would want is a pair of great tits bouncing all over the tip. Could ruin the finish too quickly.

If it upsets his neighbors so much, then perhaps he could put some kind of opaque plastic around it.

Tropical Mango flavour or ribbed for his neighbours pleasure opaque plastic?

I heard his neighbor has placed a call to Lorena Bobitt....

What kind of fruit do you think grows on that tree?

I don't know but I bet fruits will be attracted to it. *rimshot*

Perhaps a billboard of this image in view of the offending item would cause it to shrink in size?

Well, we know it will be smaller in the winter anyways.

Kilkrazy wrote:It needs protection from the elements. Some kind of hat, or helmet, would be a good idea.

Maybe a raincoat.

I dont get why its such a big deal. all men have them and most women would have seen them.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
its just a body part just like an arm.

garret wrote:I dont get why its such a big deal. all men have them and most women would have seen them.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
its just a body part just like an arm.

Hopefully all men.

Thats makes sense but is somehow untrue. I don't know why. I wouldn't be offended.

You know, I bet that would look simply super with a small shrubbery around the base. Or perhaps a bush.

What the feth am I reading

Garret wrote:its just a body part just like an arm.

HE's got a point there - mine looks like a baby's arm holding an orange.

I hate people that are intolerant of other people's cultures. And the Dutch.

If he is a good neighbour then he really should take it down, obviously he will want to keep it so I suggest that if he was to slide it up his garden's back passage out of sight no one would be offended. He could then slide it in and out as he pleased with no harm done.

Albatross wrote:

Garret wrote:its just a body part just like an arm.

HE's got a point there - mine looks like a baby's arm holding an orange.

Must....resist....thalidomide...joke.....nyarrrrgh!

Cheese Elemental wrote:What the feth am I reading

I don't know my friend. I just....don't....know anymore....

Bad news folks:

'A penis-shaped tree in the backyard of a Tempe home has now been taken down. The man who owns the property says his friends played a prank on him by carving the tree into the shape of a penis' - AZfamily.com

Show's over, move along....

I thought you meant a man carved a tree into his penis! :O

So its this but the other way around.

filbert wrote:Bad news folks:

'A penis-shaped tree in the backyard of a Tempe home has now been taken down. The man who owns the property says his friends played a prank on him by carving the tree into the shape of a penis' - AZfamily.com

Show's over, move along....

Best. Prank. Ever.

filbert wrote:Bad news folks:

'A penis-shaped tree in the backyard of a Tempe home has now been taken down. The man who owns the property says his friends played a prank on him by carving the tree into the shape of a penis' - AZfamily.com

Show's over, move along....

Who believes this? Show of hands?
"Friends played a prank," my butt. Someone had a smart-a55 moment, and is now regretting it.

Eric

Happens all the time. Somewhere near my parents' house there is a privet hedge carved into the shape of a clitoris.

Maybe I'll fly over and take a gander at it.

The wife says I couldn't find one with both hands, so maybe this could help me out.

I don't normally look for "it" using both hands. I did once but that was only to move the fat rolls out of the way (hey, she looked good with beer goggles on and skinny too).

Tempe is full of college brats, hippies and rich old people. Your yard, your tree is the idea here. I personally hate it when my old neighbor runs his leaf blower, or my other neighbor lets his dog bark all afternoon in the yard, but I don't give them a hard time about it. What's so different about a dick tree thing?

Don't blow your leaf blower on it, it will only get bigger.

The point is, that some things are 'offensive' to some people, some can be funny to other people, and none of them really matter except in the eyes of a 'law' written by the unnecessarily offended having more power in what 'should' or 'should not' be considered a law because they are old farts with sticks up their butts and they have more say in what can be seen on a city street.

Personally I find it hillarious, and if it offends old bastards so much the better. Sometimes people need to be offended so they can lighten the hell up.

But think of the children!

A little girl looks at the tree and asks her mother what it is. Embarrassed, mum says it is nothing.

The little girl then turns to dad and asks the same thing.

"That is a penis, lucy."

"Why did mum say it was nothing?"

"Because I've spoiled that woman."

maybe if "the children" weren't raised to think of origional sin and church kneeling as 'normal' reality they wouldn't care?

We are one of the most repressed cultures when it comes to being blunt about sex with our kids. We worry more about a penis shape than a disney movie (hint hint little mermaid) and actually get the law involved over it.

I like the idea that a stork dropped me through the roof too, but I prefer to hear "yeah that's cause I got laid and 9 months later you came out" as at least that means people will let go of the little xtian hangups that make us have to hide things from our kids. Sex? So what? just think of the children? Children ruin lives... ask any single mom... I prefer not to think of them. They just run around, drool on stuff, poop, and eat. (and the babies act like that too)... I don't think they care even, if we dropped from space storks or from penis trees. Pick your lie if it works for you I guess. Just for posterity, and to embarassass single moms and deadbeat dads I just want to use this word again: PENIS... That's what made it happen in the first place innit?

You really think Mary the Virgin was a virgin then go ahead and turn some water into space chickens or something. Dicks exist (I am living proof) so why is it such a problem for some people to fathom? I hear "just think of the children" and I think "No... think of the dumbass parents that raise deluded morons... who will eventually deal with their stay at the old folks home..."

Heh.... woodpeckers.

We are one of the most repressed cultures when it comes to being blunt about sex with our kids.

You've never been to Africa!


I bet that they would already be in jail if they had carved it into a giant american flag.

Huh!

Even Obamanation hasn't yet managed to make it a criminal offence to carve a dead tree into an American flag.

Kilkrazy wrote:Huh!

Even Obamanation hasn't yet managed to make it a criminal offence to carve a dead tree into an American flag.

All they would need is for king saud to command them to do it.

what an epic phaillus

We use things to represent us. It's the nature of art isn't it? And we don't complain to the authorities about rubix cubes or pokemon from the previous posters (and yes I do find pokemon offensive, even as an avatar). I don't see the difference. In MY 'americania' there would be dicktrees everywhere and less H&Rblock roadsigns.

Guitardian wrote:We use things to represent us. It's the nature of art isn't it? And we don't complain to the authorities about rubix cubes or pokemon from the previous posters (and yes I do find pokemon offensive, even as an avatar). I don't see the difference. In MY 'americania' there would be dicktrees everywhere and less H&Rblock roadsigns.

..?

What's wrong with pokemon?

Shadowbrand wrote:Heh.... woodpeckers.

Shadowbrand wins.

everything is wrong with pokemon. it starts with a wierd alien culture that has discussions about who's martial arts beats yours, and ends with a card game and a video in english to corrupt your kids into thinking like that.

Guitardian wrote:everything is wrong with pokemon. it starts with a wierd alien culture that has discussions about who's martial arts beats yours, and ends with a card game and a video in english to corrupt your kids into thinking like that.

That doesn't actually explain pokemon, though it does explain dragonball Z pretty damn well.

Jinx, making animals for fight for enjoyment,and then confining them to little balls for the times they ernt fighting.

Pokemon is fake. The show is about being friends with little creatures on top of that. Seriously.

No way man. Pokeman is an accurate and concise documentary of how Japanese kids learn manners and stuff.

I don't think any of you guys really know much about pokemon..

I actually do. I was trying to dumb down for the benefits of the young 'uns

DBZ taught me all I need to know about life.

Pull on peoples tails and they go Ape$h!t

different hair color evidently works too

I find it funny how its a three page discussion on some big wood

Hey hey hey... This is a very VERY important topic here, deserving of 3 pages of very serious, and HARD discussion.

>_<

ShumaGorath wrote:

We are one of the most repressed cultures when it comes to being blunt about sex with our kids.

You've never been to Africa!


I bet that they would already be in jail if they had carved it into a giant american flag.

In most countries you can be lynched for raising the American flag.

I can't think of anything to add to this discussion that wouldn’t just be a crude double entendre.

And believe me I’ve thought LONG and HARD.

I'll be here all week.

heh...long and hard

Jimi Nemesis wrote:

ShumaGorath wrote:

We are one of the most repressed cultures when it comes to being blunt about sex with our kids.

You've never been to Africa!


I bet that they would already be in jail if they had carved it into a giant american flag.

In most countries you can be lynched for raising the American flag.

[citation needed]

chaplaingrabthar wrote:

Jimi Nemesis wrote:

ShumaGorath wrote:

We are one of the most repressed cultures when it comes to being blunt about sex with our kids.

You've never been to Africa!


I bet that they would already be in jail if they had carved it into a giant american flag.

In most countries you can be lynched for raising the American flag.

[citation needed]

Basically all of europe, africa, the middle east, and china. You know, the muslim countries.

Hey, go have a philosphical discussion elsewhere. This discussion is about carving a tree into a penis.

On reflection, having a discussion about a giant penis, and including Limbaugh, O'Reilly, Beck, Olbermann, and Matthews.... well, I guess it is quite appropriate!

ShumaGorath wrote:
Basically all of europe, africa, the middle east, and china. You know, the muslim countries.

I beg to differ, my good sir! Whilst travelling in Palestine, I often saw the US flag. In fact it was ussually accompanied by the Israeli flag as well. The fact that these flags were being used as doormats should not detract from what is clearly a sign of Americas popularity there.

Emperors Faithful wrote:

ShumaGorath wrote:
Basically all of europe, africa, the middle east, and china. You know, the muslim countries.

I beg to differ, my good sir! Whilst travelling in Palestine, I often saw the US flag. In fact it was ussually accompanied by the Israeli flag as well. The fact that these flags were being used as doormats should not detract from what is clearly a sign of Americas popularity there.

Yes, but were the houses held aloft by a rope?

...wut?

Is the intention important? What if the guy was just a big fan of the pickle industry? would that be any different? I guess what I see it as is this: was he trying to piss off his community, or just having a laugh with a chainsaw? I believe if you live in a community you have to obey its rules, however funny or offensive or restrictive of your sense of humor they may be. If you don't like the community don't live there, but don't just go offending everyone else (even though their hangups are dumb) just move somewhere where penis trees are accepted by the more progressive less restrictive community. Okay, yeah, its a funny idea if you are advanced enough to see the humor and not get all religious about stuff, but at the same time, not all of your neighbors get the joke, right? So move away from the hicks and leave them to inbreed as they will.... and go make a penis-tree elsewhere (I wonder why on earth someone would spend the time and effort to make one in the first place, which is what makes me think it was intended as an attack on the town and their primitive humorless culture anyways)... little house on the prairie comes to mind for some reason...NO I don't want little girls to have sexual inhibitions destroyed by a work of ... umm... art? but at the same time, I want them to live in a world freee from inhibitions about stupid crap, and to know that... which will in turn result in less stupid crap becasue there won't be so many dumb people doing this sort of thing just to make a point that really wouldn't have needed to be made in the first place if everybody would just chill out about their sexual inhibitions and get over their religious crap and recognize that it's really not that important, and maybe they should worry more about not letting their kids grow up to be hicks? maybe thats too much to ask for