I was walking through the streets of Gloucester on Saturday with Mrs squilverine and asides from the usual inbreds and dribbling oddballs that frequent the centre I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place. Now don't get me wrong I do not mean homosexuals (whom I have nothing against!) but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
What is it that makes these preening peacocks so attractive to the girls that only a few years ago would have preferred a manly man, the type of man who has a shed not a Twilight shrine, a man who wears DM's not winkle pickers, A man who drinks pints with whiskey chasers rather than Woo woos. A man who goes to the Barbers and pays £8 for a "number two all over mate" rather than a unisex salon where highlights and a trim will set you back £40. The type of man who has a beard and spends his spare time discussing manly things like power tools and tits.
So manly men of Dakka (a possibly quite small audience I know ) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
Man cards will be handed out for sufficiently amusing tales of masculinity.
p.s. This is meant to be a light hearted thread, please do not let it devolve into gay bashing or insult hurling.
squilverine wrote:I was walking through the streets of Gloucester on Saturday with Mrs squilverine and asides from the usual inbreds and dribbling oddballs that frequent the centre I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place. Now don't get me wrong I do not mean homosexuals (whom I have nothing against!) but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
I currently have a number two hair cut, a 3/4 sleeve of tattoos a penchant for going to the gym and chugging protein shakes, I wear shorts and t- shirts mostly and have a cool beard.... yet I enjoy reading a good book, playing and painting little soldiers and having a lovely walk in the sunshine with my girl, oh and rescuing stray kittens..... wtf, now i'm confusing myself, am I man or mouse?.... but at least i'm no mouse that's wearing pastel cardigans and using more hair gel and dye than what's good for them!
squilverine wrote:I was walking through the streets of Gloucester on Saturday with Mrs squilverine and asides from the usual inbreds and dribbling oddballs that frequent the centre I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place. Now don't get me wrong I do not mean homosexuals (whom I have nothing against!) but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
What is it that makes these preening peacocks so attractive to the girls that only a few years ago would have preferred a manly man, the type of man who has a shed not a Twilight shrine, a man who wears DM's not winkle pickers, A man who drinks pints with whiskey chasers rather than Woo woos. A man who goes to the Barbers and pays £8 for a "number two all over mate" rather than a unisex salon where highlights and a trim will set you back £40. The type of man who has a beard and spends his spare time discussing manly things like power tools and tits.
So manly men of Dakka (a possibly quite small audience I know ) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
Man cards will be handed out for sufficiently amusing tales of masculinity.
p.s. This is meant to be a light hearted thread, please do not let it devolve into gay bashing or insult hurling.
Welcome to old age.
Back in my day, you wenre't a manly man until you hunted down your first mastadon. Then these upstarts starting digging pits and tripping them in, or chasing them off cliffs. Wussy girly men!
Beards, axes and betting are all good manly past times
Just like lusting over a new lawn mower (extra points if it's a ride on), putting up a fence and forgetting the missus' birthday
Woops.
Forgetting the missus' birthday is not manly. Its what we in Texas call "probable cause" in a later homicide investigation concerning your sudden disappearance.
Beards, axes and betting are all good manly past times
Just like lusting over a new lawn mower (extra points if it's a ride on), putting up a fence and forgetting the missus' birthday
Woops.
Forgetting the missus' birthday is not manly. Its what we in Texas call "probable cause" in a later homicide investigation concerning your sudden disappearance.
all real men forget important dates if your unlucky enough to remember that a Harley and a big beard would make you look like a real man.
Yeah i hate all the wimps who blight our nation.. makes me want to vomit. I saw a man cry at work the other day (im not in the Royal Marines anymore if you didnt guess) and it made me bite my own hand in embarrasment. No matter what personal tragedy befalls them i still want to punch them in the face when they do it.
Modern men are sickeningly effeminate. I even hate little things like Piercings and Earrings, hair gel and long hair. I am glad i will be dead soon and dont have to live to see how things turn out. Well, unless it ends up like 40k then i would be gutted i missed it!
Ah nice to know I am not the only one noticing guys starting to think it's good to act effeminate. I will admit I am not the most manly man, but I do find it a bit odd. I can only guess there is something very attractive to girls about it as they all seem to go for the ones who are more feminine than they are.
squilverine wrote:...I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place.... but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
Looks like they figured something out... David Bowie was popular with the ladies 40 years ago, doing roughly the same thing. This is nothing new
Alpharius wrote:squilverine - recently lost out on a girl to this new breed of Ultrapampered Urban Metrosexuals?
Definately not, Mrs squilverine is far less polite in her description of "metrosexuals", her attitude is remarkably similar to that of Mr T in the Snikers adds. Only the other day she was lamenting the fact that as a teacher she is not allowed to punch boys who turn up to school wearing eyeliner and that calling one of them a "little tart" was frowned upon by the head teacher.
I am old school. I believe that certain things should remain the preserve of the fairer sex and thats the end of it. There are just certain things that men should not be allowed to do, such as wear pink, attend musicals, unless accompanying a girl for the purpose of getting a leg over later that evening and driving a Ford KA or smart car.
@matty there is only one excuse for a man crying in public and that involves getting hit in the Jedwards
I live in Oklahoma, anyone like that winds up going on a snipe hunt and never coming back. The nancies usually leave the first time a tornado touches down in their backyard instead of lassoing the sunabitch and riding into town for another case of beer.
assultmarine wrote:ive noticede them too, spice boys we call them, i was in a shopping centre and saw a guy in kaki shorts, kaki beret and....pink shirt.
assultmarine wrote:ive noticede them too, spice boys we call them, i was in a shopping centre and saw a guy in kaki shorts, kaki beret and....pink shirt.
squilverine wrote:I was walking through the streets of Gloucester on Saturday with Mrs squilverine and asides from the usual inbreds and dribbling oddballs that frequent the centre I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place. Now don't get me wrong I do not mean homosexuals (whom I have nothing against!) but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
The 80s have returned. Nooooooooooooooooo!
I was thinking the exact same thing.
The ascot wearing Yuppies of the 80s have been replaced with Metrosexuals.
These things come and go. After a while, the women will realize that real men are more fun in bed and actually make money. Nesting syndrome kicks in around age 27 for women.
I have a beard, a moustache, tattoos, a chainsaw, love beer, a girlfriend with huge knockers and I work at a factory.
Yesterday at work someone lost 2 fingers, and after 5 minutes of cursing the machine and kicking it, he was cracking jokes that this oughta get him out of pleasuring his wife. It was awesome.
"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."
Don't recall that line in the Illiad or Oddesey
fwiw many a manly deed was done by manly man, nay DEMI-GOD, Achilles on the plains of the Meander. He still had an eye for a pretty boy shield bearer.
The two can co-exist.
Also the whole darn thing kicked off cos pretty boy Paris looked at Menalaus's bird.
Plus ca change
"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming."
Don't recall that line in the Illiad or Oddesey
fwiw many a manly deed was done by manly man, nay DEMI-GOD, Achilles on the plains of the Meander. He still had an eye for a pretty boy shield bearer.
The two can co-exist.
Also the whole darn thing kicked off cos pretty boy Paris looked at Menalaus's bird.
Plus ca change
He has just read wot you wrote Soladrin and is about to do a facepalm.
But he is made out of marble (cos THAT'S how hard he is!) so it just takes a bit longer to smack the forehead.
I know more then enough about the Greeks, and the god's they worshipped, to know that they were one of the weirdest, most perverted and just plain wrong people ever to walk the earth.
Oh and "women prefer effeminate men" is a ridiculous generalisation, who says that? Effeminate men?
The majority of women are like the majority of men. We both like the same stuff. If you pick a "hot" woman out, some men will find her more attractive than others, but we will still pretty much all want to bang her.
Same with girls, sure some have their types and i dont doubt there is a small percentage of women who like weird bony men with tye dye shirts and dreadlocks, but they all generally like the same stuff. You know.. Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman or whatever. Women like handsome, well built (not too massive and not too skinny) confident men. They dont like pasty eye-liner wearing nimrods who sport Kilts and Doctor martins, have a coach bolt fired through their tongues, cry often and have a penchant for self harm.
The Royal Marines are famous lady killers, we used to turn up in towns, drink too much and shag alot of the women-folk. Sure not every guy got lucky every night, but if you turned up somewhere lots of blokes started getting laid, simple equation really. Young, fit, confident men get laid alot.
And there were no sarongs, eye-liner or man bags in sight!
I spent last Friday night playing a street corner in downtown Fort Worth with a feather boa and purple/lavender gradient eye shadow. Unless I get David Bowie points I think I'm out of this competition
Edit: I should add that I was the only guy wearing make up that I saw. Lots of cowboy hats or generic abercrombie guys. I got the most money from black guys in brightly colored polo shirts though (which is still manly for them), if that's worth anything.
Soladrin wrote:I have a beard, a moustache, tattoos, a chainsaw, love beer, a girlfriend with huge knockers and I work at a factory.
Yesterday at work someone lost 2 fingers, and after 5 minutes of cursing the machine and kicking it, he was cracking jokes that this oughta get him out of pleasuring his wife. It was awesome.
Pics or it didn't... er, never mind!
mattyrm wrote:Oh and "women prefer effeminate men" is a ridiculous generalisation, who says that?
True enough, but there have been a LOT of generalizations in this thread already!
Weird and masculine are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
I can only assume that you are referring to the sexual practices of classical greeks as be weird?
Secondly the legends were much older than the period to which you seem to be referring.
Cannerus
Think you get the Bowie points (and I don't mean anything to do with sharp knives! )
Soladrin wrote:Girl's who like men like that don't exist for me anyway
I've discovered a magical "safety zone" where women feel secure around you because they think you're completely gay, but later find out otherwise It's led to some good encounters. It's more about selling it anyway. Case in point:
Justin Tranter has a million obsessed female fans. He's obviously doing something right.
At my high school, they basically own the joint. And the malls, and the streets, etc.
I don't complain, because if one of 'em gets uppity, I challenge them to a manly contest (Arm wrestling, regular wrestling, running, etc.) and they all squeal in fear of messing up their $150++ shirt.
squilverine wrote:What is it that makes these preening peacocks so attractive to the girls that only a few years ago would have preferred a manly man, the type of man who has a shed not a Twilight shrine, a man who wears DM's not winkle pickers, So manly men of Dakka (a possibly quite small audience I know ) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
Man cards will be handed out for sufficiently amusing tales of masculinity.
DM's were one of the things that attracted my wife to me. She liked mine so much, I ended up buying her a pair. After that, she was mine!
She's from Texas, so if I can handle that, I'm am one of the manliest men on this board!
Automatically Appended Next Post: I saw a great comedy act a few years ago. A group of Emos were trying to pick a fight with some Cowboys by telling them how uncool and apish they looked.
The whole fight took about 5 seconds(literally) and ended like you would expect.
assultmarine wrote:ive noticede them too, spice boys we call them, i was in a shopping centre and saw a guy in kaki shorts, kaki beret and....pink shirt.
Navy recruiter?
You know what they say about the Navy: 300 Men go out on a ship and 150 couples come back!
Just kidding, Navy guys. Some of my best buds are squids. I just don't turn my back on them!
You want deeds of manly things to prove our man card?
I once did a class 2 download on a structure fire..... inside the burning house. And was pissed cause my headlamp couldn't pen the smoke enough for me to read the magazines that were sitting next to the sink.
squilverine wrote:What is it that makes these preening peacocks so attractive to the girls that only a few years ago would have preferred a manly man, the type of man who has a shed not a Twilight shrine, a man who wears DM's not winkle pickers, So manly men of Dakka (a possibly quite small audience I know ) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
Man cards will be handed out for sufficiently amusing tales of masculinity.
DM's were one of the things that attracted my wife to me. She liked mine so much, I ended up buying her a pair. After that, she was mine!
She's from Texas, so if I can handle that, I'm am one of the manliest men on this board!
Automatically Appended Next Post: I saw a great comedy act a few years ago. A group of Emos were trying to pick a fight with some Cowboys by telling them how uncool and apish they looked.
The whole fight took about 5 seconds(literally) and ended like you would expect.
I live with one of those 'metrosexual' types. Can't recall how many time I have told him to grow a pair. His GF, who is a friend of mine, talked about leaving him and I had to turn up the music to drown out his blubbering. Last time I heard a man cry like that..... Hmm... I think it was in some chick flick.
I used to describe my job as throwing TVs around.
I kill bugs and spiders with bare hands.
I mow the lawn in shorts and sandels, no socks, (standard push motorized push mower, not a 'walk-behind' with self drive) while drinking a beer or three.
My dog is a wolf hybrid.
My car... well, got wrapped around a power pole because some mangina didn't know how to turn his highbeams off, which the police cited him for when they arrived.
Manly men don't hang out in town centres at weekends. Those places are centres of consumerism and shallowness.
Manly men go hunting in the wilderness, chopping down trees and customising their chainsaws. Sometimes manly men put N.Os. switches on their tractors and magnetise their camcorders to the fuel tanks of their motobikes so you can see how many RPM's and MPH they're doing so they can put it on youtube and be illegal.
At least, those are they reasons that I don't wear cardigans and hang out in the town centre....
There's nothing manlier than a plaid-wearing, toque-capped Canadian fist fighting a grizzly and punting a beaver while riding upon a moose as he taps for maple syrup from a tree he's just about to cut down with his man-axe. All in the midst of a raging blizzard.
As for specific things I've done? The manliest thing would probably be my buddies and I getting just pissed on whiskey, and then having contests to see who can take the most gut-punches without yakking everywhere
That or going camping with nothing but 2 .308's and a 12-gauge, some bottled water, and a pack of matches.
assultmarine wrote:ive noticede them too, spice boys we call them, i was in a shopping centre and saw a guy in kaki shorts, kaki beret and....pink shirt.
Navy recruiter?
You know what they say about the Navy: 300 Men go out on a ship and 150 couples come back!
Just kidding, Navy guys. Some of my best buds are squids. I just don't turn my back on them!
Lord Harrab wrote:This thread needs more bear-punching.
There already is some...
Metallifan wrote:There's nothing manlier than a plaid-wearing, toque-capped Canadian fist fighting a grizzly and punting a beaver while riding upon a moose as he taps for maple syrup from a tree he's just about to cut down with his man-axe. All in the midst of a raging blizzard.
assultmarine wrote:ive noticede them too, spice boys we call them, i was in a shopping centre and saw a guy in kaki shorts, kaki beret and....pink shirt.
Navy recruiter?
You know what they say about the Navy: 300 Men go out on a ship and 150 couples come back!
Just kidding, Navy guys. Some of my best buds are squids. I just don't turn my back on them!
ShivanAngel wrote:Last time i was asked to kill a spider the end result was a dead spider and about 200 airsoft pellets all over the house....
My wife doesnt ask me to kill spiders anymore.
I tried to kill a bug with a Ruger once, but was stopped...
But spiders are our friends!
It was a giant fake fly, put on the barbeque as a practical joke. I thought it was some freakass thing from South American, was afraid I'd miss with a stick. The evil doing party did a double take when I came out with the Ruger, and had to stop me.
Yes, in addition to suspending myself three times, proving in court that playing 40K doesn't make you a freak, just a dork, I've also almost shot a fake bug with a real gun.
Yes, in addition to suspending myself three times, proving in court that playing 40K doesn't make you a freak, just a dork, I've also almost shot a fake bug with a real gun.
Did you actually suspend yourself or do people just circulate these stories for the hell of it?
Gitzbitah wrote:Manly men fear wifely wrath above all else.
No, Manly men tell their wives that they're in need of a beer, and that they aren't getting any younger.
At least, I do this. Most of the time it doesn't work, but she's learned to stop trying to hit me on account of I retaliate by tickling her until her eyes water.
Yes, in addition to suspending myself three times, proving in court that playing 40K doesn't make you a freak, just a dork, I've also almost shot a fake bug with a real gun.
Did you actually suspend yourself or do people just circulate these stories for the hell of it?
Yes, in addition to suspending myself three times, proving in court that playing 40K doesn't make you a freak, just a dork, I've also almost shot a fake bug with a real gun.
Did you actually suspend yourself or do people just circulate these stories for the hell of it?
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:He suspends himself quite often. He's into that sort of thing
true that . Fortunately killer attack weiner dogs are still, well, weiner dogs. Even though TBone will tear you apart with almost 4 ounces of vicelike bite pressure when he's awake, he is less that six inches tall at the shoulder. You don't have to supend yourself more than a foot off the ground to be safe.
So what is the verdict? Are the OP's femmeboys a new and increasing thing, or are they just today's version of a perpetual subclass?
Everyone always seems to feel as if the phenomenon is on the increase, and I was tempted to agree, but then I thought of the 80s and the big hair, eye makeup, tight jeans rocker guys, who were sorta aggro and femme at the same time. Seems like dudes in girl clothes has been around for a while.
When i was a youth wearing DMs got you harassed, hazed and pummeled by the majority jocks/stoners/red necks who felt that only queers wear "f-a-g boots".
I know because I wore them, and the group of "devil worshipper weirdos" (according to those in our town mind you) I hung out with led a miserable existence in our tiny "normal" sh!thole town.
Besides in the 70s you had glam.
The eighties had New Wave.
The ninties had goths
And now we have emo
Every generation has some form of what you describe.
And every generation has it's "fancy boys" who realize that such scenes offer a pool of girls that will be attracted to any boy who "buys in". Hell I wore some ridiculous clothes in my youth purely for this reason (and sadly a few pics are floating around to prove it), and most of you did as well, or your lying about it...
Soladrin wrote:I know more then enough about the Greeks...
I'm guessing you don't know as much about them as you think you do!
Soladrin wrote:
...and the god's they worshipped, to know that they were one of the weirdest, most perverted and just plain wrong people ever to walk the earth.
So are the French, and you don't see anyone making fun of... er, never mind.
I have sliced the end of my thumb off with a table saw, had three concusions, broke my nose twice, broke my thumb, had over a hundred stitches, and hurt myself with tons of non electric power tools and didnt cry at any point while having this type of pain inflicted upon myself!
I love it that a forum decided to arts and crafts (you know, building and painting miniatures) is complaining about men not being manly enough.
Soladrin wrote:Yesterday at work someone lost 2 fingers, and after 5 minutes of cursing the machine and kicking it, he was cracking jokes that this oughta get him out of pleasuring his wife. It was awesome.
Also, my favorite part of the entire thread, apparently he's manly by association. Also, a word of advice, if your wife enjoys sex, you're more likely to have it.
I'm purposely ignoring how what is considered "manly" changes with each generation. Aside from that sentence, of course.
I was stabbed once, with a box cutter. Beat the snot outta the kid and then stiched it myself. I cant grow a beard because of my job, But I own an axe, gun and dog. Am I manly Dakka?
I guess I'll defend my best buddy's manliness too, as he's a fan of the toy soldiers, but he has yet to hear of Dakka (Inorite?)
We were at a fishing derby about 3 years ago, and it was the last day of the contest. We hadn't caught much more than a couple of mean hangovers the entire time. So we're sitting on the dock wondering how to kill a day (as we'd had more than enough of fishing by that point), and my buddy decides "Hey! Let's play the knife game!"
For those wondering, the knife game is a test of your hand/eye co-ordination, accuracy, and perception.
You put one bare foot forward, then dangle a knife above it. You win by dropping the knife in between your toes. Needless to say, buddy missed the gap, and ended up getting a knife right through his big toe and into the dock. After prying it free, he managed to hobble the good 60m or so up the hill to the bathrooms, leaving a trail of blood spots every time he took a step.
No, real men paint little soldiers and play board games while drinking beer and eating nachos! Possibly making "You know how I know you're gay?" cracks as well.
metallifan wrote:No, real men paint little soldiers and play board games while drinking beer and eating nachos! Possibly making "You know how I know you're gay?" cracks as well.
And that dude sounds like chewbacca!
I didnt watch that video at first, but now Im laughing because he really did sound like chewy.
I live about 10 minutes from a small town called Davison. And the bulk of its male population is a dead ringer for the sissy boys everyone is talking about. Dammit it gets on my nerves. I hate letting them little basterds bag my groceries! I WANT TO BREATH SMOKE DAMMIT! RRAAAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!
Really though they get on my nerves something fierce. I remember once I went to a krogers to buy some pops after a long mud bogging session, and so my clothing was COVERED in mud. The bagger kid looked at me all weird and asked why I was covered in "dirt" So I said I just spent the last 4 hours bogging, and to leave the pops out of the bag. He started to ask dumb questions about bogging and not understanding why someone would do that. Couldnt tell I was severely annoyed by this lol Hate it.
My body is mess of scars and formerly broken bones. It's not that I'm a manly man, just that I'm a spaz.
Thing is, I know a bunch of guys who wear the stupid too tight jeans and the hair over the forehead. They look ridiculous. They are also some of the maddest guys I've ever seen. As in a couple of them actually went clive diving, in a wheelbarrow. Another couple regularly play car jousting, driving their POS Datsuns at each other, and wailing on the other guys car with golf clubs as they drive past. These are manly, stupid men.
So I guess it's important to remember that just because someone is wearing a ridiculous get up, it doesn't mean he isn't a manly man. But even if he was really a manly man, this does not mean he doesn't look absolutely ridiculous.
sebster wrote:My body is mess of scars and formerly broken bones. It's not that I'm a manly man, just that I'm a spaz.
Thing is, I know a bunch of guys who wear the stupid too tight jeans and the hair over the forehead. They look ridiculous. They are also some of the maddest guys I've ever seen. As in a couple of them actually went clive diving, in a wheelbarrow. Another couple regularly play car jousting, driving their POS Datsuns at each other, and wailing on the other guys car with golf clubs as they drive past. These are manly, stupid men.
So I guess it's important to remember that just because someone is wearing a ridiculous get up, it doesn't mean he isn't a manly man. But even if he was really a manly man, this does not mean he doesn't look absolutely ridiculous.
They still -lose- potential man-points for dressing like fairies.
Plus, if you've been through at least high school, and HAVEN'T tried Car Jousting, painting lines and obscenities on the road through a hole in the floor of a car, or riding a sled, GT Snowracer, or other death-machine off a steep embankment, you need to start over.
None of those things are 'manly' per se, but they are expected of a man. When your friends play "Stop the blender with our wieners", come talk to me. I'll consider them manly then.
metallifan wrote:They still -lose- potential man-points for dressing like fairies.
They certainly do look ridiculous.
Plus, if you've been through at least high school, and HAVEN'T tried Car Jousting, painting lines and obscenities on the road through a hole in the floor of a car, or riding a sled, GT Snowracer, or other death-machine off a steep embankment, you need to start over.
None of those things are 'manly' per se, but they are expected of a man. When your friends play "Stop the blender with our wieners", come talk to me. I'll consider them manly then.
My favourite of my own? We got some shopping trolleys to ride down a really steep hill. I noticed people getting helmets out, I said that was a bit wussy. They explained the helmets were to attack the other trolley riders with, or throw in front of their trolleys on the way down. That was a brutal three minutes.
Ok then i thin that it is list time. Two catagories. 1st is Manly things, 2nd is Sissy things. I'll get the ball rolling.
Manly things: Owning a shed
Stocking said shed with power tools, some of which you will probably never use
Hitting your thumb with a hammer and swearing loudly
Errecting (snigger snigger) a fence
Kicking a piece of electrical or mechanical equipment in the hope that this will make it work again
Going to the dump on a Sunday
Sissy things Crying at films
Wearing make up
Drinking brightly coloured cocktails
Pre cooking chicken for the BBQ
Letting the missus have the remote control
Manly:
Grease under the fingernails.
Ability to identify more than 5 parts of a cars engine.
Using road flares to start the BBQ.
Lighting a cigarette from any open flame or heat source.
watching Deadliest Warrior.
Drinking full carb/calorie/alc beer... Example.. Molsen XXX
Unmanly:
Manicured fingernails.
Not knowing how to change a cars tires or oil.
Using an electric BBQ.
Watching Oprah.
MGD 64, bud select 55, Zima, other "Malt beverages"
Smoking light or ultralight cigs.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
WARBOSS TZOO wrote:so i hear that it is a manly activity to eat overcooked bbq chicken and also a manly activity to contract salmonella poisoning
Except you get Salmonella from UNDERCOOKED chicken.
Manlyness check:
I have a beard
I drink beer
Army boots are my only shoes
Coffe is what I live on
I play with litel plastic men, and paint them with other men.
Anshal wrote:Manlyness check:
I have a beard
I drink beer
Army boots are my only shoes
Coffe is what I live on
I play with litel plastic men, and paint them with other men.
Manly:
Carving things with a knife
Crushing empty beer cans in your hand
Cutting the garden hedge with an electric or petrol cutter
BBQing in the rain
Suggesting to the missus that sex is a good cure for headaches
Sissy:
Wearing gloves to do the washing up
Drinking half pints
Owning clothing (other than a Hawian shirt) with floral patterning
Baking cup cakes
Using a hair dryer
squilverine wrote:Manly: Carving things with a knife Crushing empty beer cans in your hand Cutting the garden hedge with an electric or petrol cutter BBQing in the rain Suggesting to the missus that sex is a good cure for headaches
Sissy: Wearing gloves to do the washing up Drinking half pints Owning clothing (other than a Hawian shirt) with floral patterning Baking cup cakes Using a hair dryer
I've done every single one of those - apart from drinking a half-pint! Seriously!
I just don't see the point in them.
Although, bad news: I'm eating a salad as I type this. I made it myself. It's got extra-virgin olive oil and white wine vinegar drizzled on it.
Cooking (salads included) can be a manly thing. You have to use knives and forks to prepare, and some manly person had to do hard labor to grow the veggies (forcing nature to do his bidding). Now for the challenge! This guy:
Lack of body hair, but otherwise pretty damn manly.
Vs. this guy:
A pinnacle of sophistication and the alleged most interesting man in the world.
squilverine wrote:Manly:
Carving things with a knife
Crushing empty beer cans in your hand
Cutting the garden hedge with an electric or petrol cutter
BBQing in the rain
Suggesting to the missus that sex is a good cure for headaches
Sissy:
Wearing gloves to do the washing up
Drinking half pints
Owning clothing (other than a Hawian shirt) with floral patterning
Baking cup cakes
Using a hair dryer
I think it's people trying to become sophisticated to interest women, and instead making themselves look like metr...meet...merto....
ME NOT KNOW MANY WORDS! ME SMASH! ME MAN!!
Seriously, that doesn't work. Making yourself into a man-lady doesn't make any girls want you. I figured that out myself, sadly.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Cooking (salads included) can be a manly thing. You have to use knives and forks to prepare, and some manly person had to do hard labor to grow the veggies (forcing nature to do his bidding). Now for the challenge! This guy:
Lack of body hair, but otherwise pretty damn manly.
Vs. this guy:
A pinnacle of sophistication and the alleged most interesting man in the world.
Who's the real man's man here?
Ah but contestant #1 is a characature of what admen think women want in a man... also the ad campaign is bombing, sales of Old Spice Body Wash are down since it began.
Contestant #2 is also a characature but of what those admen think would make a man "interesting." Of course sales of Dos XX are up so....
i wear beard...
i'm bald and never mind to me...
i drink a lot of beer (maybe too much....or well no... never is enough of beer)
i don't shave my body (unless i see body hair its growing too much... it happened )
i smoke cigars, not that pussy cigarrettes...
i smell like a bear until i take a shower... just to return the stink half hour later...(testosterone excess)
i only use dark coloured clothes.... (IMO bright colors are to.... unmanly)
I have a shed, full of tools atm.
I have a drive a series III landrover, when I,m not driving my merc camper.
No power steering, not coil sprung, and no sissy wind up windows. I've got a beard, can't be arsed to shave.
Drink newcastle brown ale, a real mans drink I wear pattened shirts, shorts and sandles. and I dont give a feth.
I have a bath once a year wether I need to or not.
All the above is true, except the bit about the bath.
loki old fart wrote:I have spent more on tools than my mortgage. I have a drive a series II Mondeo which I tow my caravan with I've got a beard, can't be arsed to shave.
Drink Real Ale, a real mans drink I wear pattened shirts, shorts and sandles. and I dont give a feth.
I have a bath once a year wether I need to or not.
All the above is true, except the bit about the bath.
loki old fart wrote:I have a shed, full of tools atm.
I have a drive a series III landrover, when I,m not driving my merc camper.
No power steering, not coil sprung, and no sissy wind up windows. I've got a beard, can't be arsed to shave.
Drink newcastle brown ale, a real mans drink I wear pattened shirts, shorts and sandles. and I dont give a feth.
I have a bath once a year wether I need to or not.
All the above is true, except the bit about the bath.
Wohoho!!! great! unfortunately its hard to find here in Spain
squilverine wrote:I was walking through the streets of Gloucester on Saturday with Mrs squilverine and asides from the usual inbreds and dribbling oddballs that frequent the centre I was suprised at the number of effeminate young men struting about the place. Now don't get me wrong I do not mean homosexuals (whom I have nothing against!) but young lads, many with simpering little popstar/glamour model wanabee young strumpets in tow, parading about in jeans that were far too tight, overslyled hair you could spear a wild pig with and a whole range of fitted shirts and cardigans in a range of pastel shades.
What is it that makes these preening peacocks so attractive to the girls that only a few years ago would have preferred a manly man, the type of man who has a shed not a Twilight shrine, a man who wears DM's not winkle pickers, A man who drinks pints with whiskey chasers rather than Woo woos. A man who goes to the Barbers and pays £8 for a "number two all over mate" rather than a unisex salon where highlights and a trim will set you back £40. The type of man who has a beard and spends his spare time discussing manly things like power tools and tits.
So manly men of Dakka (a possibly quite small audience I know ) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
Man cards will be handed out for sufficiently amusing tales of masculinity.
p.s. This is meant to be a light hearted thread, please do not let it devolve into gay bashing or insult hurling.
I resent this... I'm not some "groomed" guy, I'm neither fashionable nor especially self-conscious... But I'm not some neanderthal either. I'm pretty skinny and light and have quite a few camp tendencies... The quite arrogant way in which I view myself is that I simply 1. Can't be arsed with exercise and 2. Am content to not live up to some stereotypical male role of exuding masses of testosterone and masculinity in all directions...
At the end of the day women still want masculinity, sure, but men have to balance that with sensitivity and an open-mind... perhaps these "strumpets" you talk about simply like a guy who seems a tad deeper than some footy hooligan? It's no new thing... aren't the dandies of the '20s or the woopsies of the 18th century good examples of attractive men who showcased a feminine side?
AH Ther you have the situation by the short and curlies, Dandy's often strove to imitate an aristocratic style of life despite coming from a middle-class background.
sebster wrote: My favourite of my own? We got some shopping trolleys to ride down a really steep hill. I noticed people getting helmets out, I said that was a bit wussy. They explained the helmets were to attack the other trolley riders with, or throw in front of their trolleys on the way down. That was a brutal three minutes.
That totally reminds me of one time we went GT'ing after dark, loaded on whiskey. We came up with the bright idea of making it a game of "battlesleds", wherein you divide up into teams of 2. One driver and one gunner. The gunner's job is to try and make other sledding teams crash by throwing rocks and snowballs at them.
Many home-stitches and a second trip to the liquor store later, and we all agreed it was still one of our best ideas to-date
mattyrm wrote:Yeah i hate all the wimps who blight our nation.. makes me want to vomit. I saw a man cry at work the other day (im not in the Royal Marines anymore if you didnt guess) and it made me bite my own hand in embarrasment. No matter what personal tragedy befalls them i still want to punch them in the face when they do it.
Modern men are sickeningly effeminate. I even hate little things like Piercings and Earrings, hair gel and long hair. I am glad i will be dead soon and dont have to live to see how things turn out. Well, unless it ends up like 40k then i would be gutted i missed it!
I can't stand the pierceing and earings on dudes either, just doesn't look good on any man.
As for long hair, when I was in middle school long hair that came down over your eyes was cool.
So wanting to fit in, I grew out my hair... and never stopped growing it out. eventually I went on to highschool and then collage where my hair was longer than the hair of most women on campus. At the end of this last year I cut off a foot of it and gave it to a non profit group that makes wigs for cancer patents.
Now before you say anything about the lack of my manlyness let me just say that when my hair was long I looked like a viking or someone who belonged in the movie "Braveheart" or "Rob Roy", someone who should be swinging a claymore or axe all day and eating and drinking all night.
does working on a rowing machine to the point that I threw up, having not actually eaten anything, count?
Or my brother slashing my finger open with a bread knife and me not noticing until I could actually hear the sound of the blood drip hitting the puddle of blood that I had already lost?
Also I'm not old enough to have a beard yet, but I'm currently growing stubble and sideburns
Goliath wrote:does working on a rowing machine to the point that I threw up, having not actually eaten anything, count?
Or my brother slashing my finger open with a bread knife and me not noticing until I could actually hear the sound of the blood drip hitting the puddle of blood that I had already lost?
Also I'm not old enough to have a beard yet, but I'm currently growing stubble and sideburns
Nah thats just bum fluff
Automatically Appended Next Post: @chub
I have spent more on tools than my mortgage.
Hmmm, I'm only happy if my face is adequately covered in facial hair, I have more hair on my chest than most of my friends have on their entire bodies, I chop down trees... just cause they're there. Also, I never sleep... because sleep is the cousin of death!
On a more manly note, I went to a party and after consuming enough alcohol began break dancing in the hosts living room, resulting in being pulled by two blondes into the bathroom with them.... I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
loki old fart wrote:
@chub
I have spent more on tools than my mortgage.
Isn't that the truth
Does the name snap on ring a bell
Dammit, why did you mention the S word now even more money has left my wallet
I actually bought the big 42" chest and top box along with a side locker, I would have bought a bigger one but I would only have lost it in the subsequent divorce
SamplesoWoopass wrote:On a more manly note, I went to a party and after consuming enough alcohol began break dancing in the hosts living room, resulting in being pulled by two blondes into the bathroom with them.... I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
I was installing cable in a house once, when my hammer drill somehow got stuck in the wall when drilling through it, it went through but just would NOT come back. So I went outside and kicked the drill back through the wall. Only to find out the bit went through my boot, through my foot and lodged into my bone. The force from my super kick was caused from my bone pushing back against the drill bit. They had to pull boot fragments from the hole in my foot
Yes I finished the job bleeding like a stuck pig. Thats what men do. Not the stupid part per say, but finishing after realizing how stupid the stupid was
SamplesoWoopass wrote: On a more manly note, I went to a party and after consuming enough alcohol began break dancing in the hosts living room, resulting in being pulled by two blondes into the bathroom with them.... I'll leave the rest to your imagination.
Edit - totally didn't notice at first, but the Mario picture being set to "1-player game" just makes it complete gold.
I might have to put my cousin in for a man card on this one:
He was drunk one night and his wife got pissed at him and locked him out of their house. He promptly went to the tool shed, got out his chainsaw and chopped his way through the side of the house.
Of course that earns him stupid points, also, but in a manly way.
The only thing more manly than that is if he would've bought 4 more chainsaws and bolted them to his front bumper to make a "chainsaw dozerblade" which he then promptly employed in the same manner
Most of my manliest stories have had their details blurred by alcohol (tearing apart a jammed door so I could finally take a piss and get another beer) or blood loss (15 stitch sword wound). I choose the simple route for man-validation: I've got a 6-inch beard and it doesn't hold a candle to my .
SamplesoWoopass wrote:hmmm it appears that I'm getting a lot of "cool story bro's."
I mean, this is a thread about doing manly stories so I don't see why... unless you're just jealous
Again, "1 player game".
Still funny.
Albatross wrote:
metallifan wrote:
Albatross wrote:I've been head-butted by a horse: Manly or unfortunate?
Discuss.
Did you headbutt back? If so, Manly.
Alas, I didn't.
Is the horse still alive? It's not too late to go back there and headbutt it. If it asks you what the hell you're doing, just slide on a pair of Aviators and reply with an ice-cold "Something I should've done a long time ago."
If that horse isn't terrified of your man-mind, then it must be some kind of mutant horsebeast
Hmm...well, I both build and shoot things, so I hope that counts for manliness.
My best shot would probably be a party I attended during my college days. My (future)wife commented that I needed to move my beer because it was sweating on her. Turned on the lights after 15 minutes or so and she looked like somebody out of a horror movie - tank top covered in blood. Turned out it wasn't condensation from the beer, but blood from my hand from hitting something earlier. That was the night I determined Tequila and I might not be the best of mates.
Well, I've been drunk and shot a gun before. At the same time. That computer moniter will think twice before it messes with me again. I beleive it was a double barrel 12 gauge, but I honestly don't remember
rubiksnoob wrote:I have also been shot with an arrow. I tore it out immediately, which i later learned you're not supposed to do. pretty manly tho.
Only if you then went on shove it up the nose of the person who fired it at you in the first place
Well I did run out of the woods, bloody arrow in hand, yelling and screaming at the guy who shot it. I probably would've throttled him if I wasn't drained from loss of blood.
I will be spending the coming weekend changing the oil on my car, sharpening my chainsaw, drinking beer and watching porn while the wife cooks, cleans and does all that womanly stuff I never notice.
*Light's cigar and calls for slippers*
On a more serious note my wife was actually attracted to me because the first time we met I'd been working on a JCB all day and stank of oil and diesel. Women there funny things aren't they.
Once crushed my hand in the door of a Hydrema, didn't see a doctor and continued to work on site for three days with 3 broken knuckles.
Back when I was young (bout 7-8 or so) I was climbing a tree in the dead of winter. As a proud Icelandic man (Boy at the time, of course) I was wearing naught but Jeans, shoes, and a T-Shirt. I fell from almost 10 feet, and landed on my elbow, the way I was positioned driving my fist into my gut. Heard a huge crack, but I thought it was the ice on the sidewalk I had fallen onto. I just sat there hissing with pain for a minute, then I went inside and mostly forgot about it, and 4 days later was annoyed enough by the pain to b*tch at my parents to take me to the Doctor. I didn't even realize it was broken, I thought the pain when I moved it was because I had a massive bruise. Yeah, I was pretty stupid back then.
DutchKillsRambo wrote:Beta is the new Alpha when it comes to getting laid.
I pity the unfortunate girls they're attempting to 'lay', then, when it comes down to the quality of the business. The very ability to wear such mind-boggling pants suggests a lack of... well, just a lack.
I was shot in the kneecap once. Is that manly?
I ran a hundred yards with a girl in a white dress over my shoulder at a medieval reenactment... it was part of an organised event, trust me. Probably'd been more manly if it wasn't. She immediately started hanging around me for the rest of the afternoon... Pissed my girlfriend right off, so I had to man up and tell her to sod off. The other girl, not mine. Or should it have been the other way around?
I mean, my pal in this picture weighs at least 16st, so being able to lift that is pretty manly - however, cradling a man in your arms like a baby is pretty gay.
I mean, my pal in this picture weighs at least 16st, so being able to lift that is pretty manly - however, cradling a man in your arms like a baby is pretty gay.
It's a tricky one...
If you have to ask then it's gay
Plus the fact we all know that you didn't lift him, a moment before the piccie was taken he spotted a spider on the other side of the garden and leaped into your comforting arms squealing "help me Alby save me from the moster"
Arctik_Firangi wrote:Balls touching? No? Not gay.
That's not what the thread is about though. I know some pretty butch gays I wouldn't bother picking a fight with.
Arctik_Firangi wrote:Balls touching? No? Not gay.
That's not what the thread is about though. I know some pretty butch gays I wouldn't bother picking a fight with.
An acquaintance from college was a former nose-guard and quite flaming. It was hilarious when my more conservative friends would come (go?) down on him for his homosexuality; never ended well for them.
rubiksnoob wrote:Me and my friend had a contest where you made the most disgusting pancake you could than the other guy had to eat it. first to puke lost. manly?
rubiksnoob wrote:Me and my friend had a contest where you made the most disgusting pancake you could than the other guy had to eat it. first to puke lost. manly?
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:He said disgusting, not tasty ;D
Albatross wrote: You know, I just ran a quick check to see if I could find out if Little Richard is gay, and apparently he identifies as 'ex-gay'.
I now identify HIM as 'ex-cool'. Changing my avatar.
You couldn't tell from your avatar picture? What does ex-gay even mean anyway... 'I was gay, but I gave it up... (unnaturally deep voice) for the ladies...'
Albatross wrote: You know, I just ran a quick check to see if I could find out if Little Richard is gay, and apparently he identifies as 'ex-gay'.
I now identify HIM as 'ex-cool'. Changing my avatar.
You couldn't tell from your avatar picture? What does ex-gay even mean anyway... 'I was gay, but I gave it up... (unnaturally deep voice) for the ladies...'
No, of course I knew he was bent! I was cool with it - I'm a 'Friend O' Gays'...
I'm NOT cool with this evangelical, born-again Christian 'de-programing' of homosexuality that he's now apparently involved in. I think it's vile.
You aren't a real man till you have spent a whole day, outside in a Canadian winter playing hockey drinking beer, cutting down trees and eating beaver tail.
Then you go into a log cabin for some steamy mansex.
I just finished repairing/changing the leaf springs on a friends trailer without the aid of power tools.
Used to drink until I lost a week out of my life from a friend and I drinking a half gallon of Jim Beam "Blazing Saddles" style. We finished it in an hour and a half. Was drunk for 3.5 days, hung over for another 3 days. That didn'y stop me.
What stopped me from drinking was that the 7th night after finishing the Jim Beam I went out, ordered and downed a couple of quad Jacks and promptly went back to my dorm and puked blood.
I drive a dually and ride sportbikes(Harlies are for posers that want to park at a starbucks or are couch potatos that just want to ride their sofa). Have held this opinion openly while being a bartender at a biker bar.
Was a powerlifter in my younger years.
Served in the Military
List goes on...............
And, I eat Quiche.(For those of you old enough to get the joke.)
focusedfire wrote:I just finished repairing/changing the leaf springs on a friends trailer without the aid of power tools.
I totally call bull on that one
Monster don't eat Quiche either... but, really, what is manlier than; hacking the back off a beast, forcing a solid through tiny a holes, beating up some zygotes, crushing some small seeds (remember women use a bloody millstone for that job), ripping some anchoring structures from the ground, beating it all together and roasting it?
Cooking is manly. If by cooking you mean turning the coffee pot on and barbecuing some thick slabs of meat.
Just joking, cooking is fantastic. It gets the ladies, especially if the food is drugged.
That is wrong, sorry.That is also manly, just manly chivalry. Meaning I don't open the door for a lady, I beat the door for not getting out of the lady's way.
Personally, not a gear head, don't mind hitting stuff with an axe though or with a chainsaw or with a firearm.
focusedfire wrote:I just finished repairing/changing the leaf springs on a friends trailer without the aid of power tools.
I totally call bull on that one
I wish it was bull. Leaf spring broke at her house when she backed the thing over a log while having a 4000lb load on 3000lb worth of springs. My compressor is on loan to a friend, hence no impact wrench, so I had to cheater bar the thing. Fortunately I still carry a good bit of muscle mass from my powerlifting days. Unfortunately my 40+ year old rotator cuffs are gravely dog meat so I am feeling it right now. Heh, she had overloaded the thing to the point that she bent one of the shackle bolts.
And if you need further detail, the springs were a standatd 25 & 1/4 in.(eye to eye) four leaf design. Supplier had the 1750 lb rated springs for approx $25 per and heavier 2500 lb springs for only a few dollars more.
ChrisCP wrote:Monster don't eat Quiche either... but, really, what is manlier than; hacking the back off a beast, forcing a solid through tiny a holes, beating up some zygotes, crushing some small seeds (remember women use a bloody millstone for that job), ripping some anchoring structures from the ground, beating it all together and roasting it?
Good to know you are not a Vegan. I would have asked for your man card if such were so.
And down here we call those Zoygotes Aborted Avian fetuses.
) here is the chance to let the world know of your manly credentials, have you ever dabled with the pastel side? Have you lost a friend to the peacock brigade? Are you going to be spending the weekend doing something suitably masculine?
out of the house. Happy joy joy happy joy!
