Me - Sweetie what do you want to dress as for Halloween?
Sweetie - That's just commericalism! You should think about what Jesus would want!
Me - Uh Sweetie you're thinking of Christmas, Halloween has nothing to do with Jesus.
Sweetie - Oh. Which one is Halloween?
This has been today's Adventure in Cross-Cultural Marriage! Adventures in Cross-Cultural Marriage are brought to you by Pokari Sweat, the only sports drink that tastes like real sweat.
Sweetie - Which way is north?
Me - (thinking) that way.
Sweetie - Oh. We need to buy a mirror.
Me - Uh OK.
Sweetie - and a plant.
Me - Uh sure.
Sweetie - Why didn't you tell me our entrance faces north? It's very bad feng shui.
Adventures in Cross-Cultural Marriage is brought to you by CC Lemon, 50 Lemons of Vitamin C in every can!
Im noticing all the pr0n peeps are teens. Might be something there
These stories are funny. But I know for a fact that if I lived in another country that different, Id be the guy to laugh at for sure. But oddly enough I would enjoy it greatly
Asherian Command wrote:Yeah the title did sound like a porno kind of.........
You people have odd fetishes.
Just saying.
No, it's just I'm the only in my friend's group that actually is mature. I don't have a fetish.... Its hidden. Very well. But yeah. Teenagers my age do think of it differently. But yeah i'm also use to this Cross Cultural Marriage. My mom (a pure Aussie) married my dad (Pure Michigan Spartan Fan) had two opposite feelings for Halloween, Christmas, Easter etc.
It is because it is part of the Japanese funerary rituals.
The body is laid out facing north (or south). I can't remember which because it is over 10 years since I took part. Thus it is unlucky to sleep in the same aspect as the dead.
For the same reason it is unlucky to wear socks in bed. Putting tabi socks on the body is another part of the rituals.
Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
Oh by acupuncture, I thought he meant something else. I know if I was a doctor that's how I would "relieve" my patients of cancer.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
I'm racist?
If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.
Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
I'm racist?
If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.
Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.
It's just a dodgy assumption to make.
I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
I'm racist?
If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.
Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.
It's just a dodgy assumption to make.
I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache Me - Do you want aspirin? Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer. Me - So what should I do? Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
I'm racist?
If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.
Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.
It's just a dodgy assumption to make.
I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.
Don't apologise to me - I don't give a gak!
Assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups. However, assumptions are an easy way to not engage in a five minute long conversation about the meaning of "Hi" as you want past a person who is a complete stranger but you feel awkward when you make eye contact with them and must find some way to greet them without appearing creepy, hostile, horny, ect. and then you decide on the most commonist lingo possible in America greetings by uttering a one syllable, two letter construction of a word that is a corrupted slang version of the word hallo which originates from Germany and oft was used to hail a ferryman, but came to prominence in America in the mid-19th century and popularized by Thomas Edison as the way he greeted a friend and the connotation stuck to telephone use as which can be clearly demonstrated from the fact that women who operated telephone boards were known as hello-girls.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache Me - Do you want aspirin? Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer. Me - So what should I do? Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
I'm racist?
If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.
Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.
It's just a dodgy assumption to make.
I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.
Don't apologise to me - I don't give a gak!
Assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups. However, assumptions are an easy way to not engage in a five minute long conversation about the meaning of "Hi" as you want past a person who is a complete stranger but you feel awkward when you make eye contact with them and must find some way to greet them without appearing creepy, hostile, horny, ect. and then you decide on the most commonist lingo possible in America greetings by uttering a one syllable, two letter construction of a word that is a corrupted slang version of the word hallo which originates from Germany and oft was used to hail a ferryman, but came to prominence in America in the mid-19th century and popularized by Thomas Edison as the way he greeted a friend and the connotation stuck to telephone use as which can be clearly demonstrated from the fact that women who operated telephone boards were known as hello-girls.
*Gasp*
See what happens when you DON'T use assumptions?
Gak?
So the moral of the story is: make assumptions, but wisely?
And Albatross, I wasn't apologizing to you. I was saying sorry to the person that might have been offended, in this case Kid_Kyoto's missus.
Can you please dedicate something to Oronamin-C next?
My recycling bag used to consist of about 2 jars of pasta sauce and 40-50 bottles of Oronamin-C each time I emptied it. Now that I have to pay almost £2 for every bottle of the stuff, I drink it less often, and normally with a bag of original flavour Curls.
Sweetie - And how come you Americans put your vitaman C in the bathroom?
Me - Huh? That's where medicine goes. Everyone knows that.
Sweetie - In my country we never put it in the bathroom! We put it in drawers in the living room.
Me - Now that's just crazy talk.
Sweetie - Everyone knows humidity is bad for medicine so we should keep in a dry place.
Me - Now that's... that's... a really good point now that you mention it....
Adventures in Cross-Cultural Marriage is brought to you by Calpis, the only sports drink that has to taste better than it sounds. It just has to.
(Well I finally got my Sweetie to watch Return of the Jedi, despite her protests that 'I know the good guys will win' which led to this comment about Admiral Akbar)
Sweetie: I can believe in a man who is a fish from a world where men are fishes, but I can't believe that a fish man wears clothes.
The original Wickerman is excellent. You know that part was written with Christopher Lee specifically in mind? As a young pagan I was a bit offended by it, but now that I've grown up I quite enjoy it.
(Wife went to Band competition with the future generation, so it was Frazzled VPNing with the Boys Saturday.)
8.30 AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: Yea, when you left you HIT MY CAR!
8.45 AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: You remember that mouse I told you about? Rodney found it again and swallwowed it. I tried to pry it out of his jaws but he bit me.
10.30AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: Yea, when you told me to take the weiners to get their nails done you didn't tell me they'd freak. Rodney started screaming and I nearly tore the tech's head off. Glad I wasn't armed today. We're home. I'm not going out because more bad things are going to happen.
10.35AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: I need to get some wood to prop the fence, its leaning over in the wind. WTF?
10.38AM sit down with full cup of delicious coffee. Rodney leaps cross table to land in my lap knocks coffee all over me.
10.38.37AM SWMBO calls
SWMBO: Hey babe how's it going?
ME: &**^%*%*%$^#ING$))%*&^%_^&*_^*!!!
SWMBO: WHAT? Its really loud here? I'm standing ground level in the middle of the Alamodome, you should see this
ME: *(&%^%$*$^%&*%*%ING ($&^(*$^%(%&^!!!!
SWMBO: WHAT? I can't hear you? Yea they haven't called us yet, its so cool.
ME: (Shouting, TBone growling because I just woke him up) ^*%^#$*ingg *($&^#*HITMYCARINTHEFREAKINGDRIVEWAY&*$^$*RODNEYATEMOUSEWHOLE(*)$&(# SCREW THIS TALK TO YOU LATER!!!
3.00PM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: OK went shooting, car not too bad, Rodney still alive, got barbeque and the three of us are pigging out. We're going to watch Predators and pig out on popcorn.
4.00PM halfway through first episode of Tru BLOOD
SWMBO calls:
SWMO: We're in the finals! Its so awesome! How was your day...
So my sweetie was talking to some of her Japanese friends about the cold.
One of them was wearing 2 sets of tights and 2 sets of underwear. The other was wearing 3 sets of underwear. But my sweetie was only wearing one. So she said today she had to wear 4 sets so she could win.
???
1 - Do women really wear multiple sets of undies for the cold?
2 - Does it actually help?
3 - Do they actually talk about it with other women?
4 - Like, do guys do this too? Can I sit down with my buddies and ask how many sets of underwear they're wearing today? Have I been missing this my whole life?
1: apparently some Japanese ones do. 2: unless it is "long" underwear, also known as thermals, it would not help that much. Multiple pairs of pants/warm ones would be much more beneficial. 3: Hecks if I know 4: No. I do not talk about my underwear with my friends.
Funny, keep it up. This could be a sitcom, except this is better written (you know, because it's real, w/o some nice resolution after ~24 minutes).
Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
A friend of mine in California told me of how he was going to start using the fireplace becuase it was a brisk 68 degrees Fahrenheit. That's t-shirt and shorts weather!
So my sweetie was talking to some of her Japanese friends about the cold.
One of them was wearing 2 sets of tights and 2 sets of underwear. The other was wearing 3 sets of underwear. But my sweetie was only wearing one. So she said today she had to wear 4 sets so she could win.
???
1 - Do women really wear multiple sets of undies for the cold?
2 - Does it actually help?
3 - Do they actually talk about it with other women?
4 - Like, do guys do this too? Can I sit down with my buddies and ask how many sets of underwear they're wearing today? Have I been missing this my whole life?
In answer to #4, In case you were wondering, I'm not wearing any.
In answer to #2, I doubt multiple pairs would help, but then again a single pair of cargo pants are more than enough for me for all temperatures rangeing for 70 to -15 degrees (american).
For #1 an #3, I have no clue
Ahtman wrote:A friend of mine in California told me of how he was going to start using the fireplace becuase it was a brisk 68 degrees Fahrenheit. That's t-shirt and shorts weather!
And warmer than my house at this moment (60 degrees Fahrenheit)
Ahtman wrote:A friend of mine in California told me of how he was going to start using the fireplace becuase it was a brisk 68 degrees Fahrenheit. That's t-shirt and shorts weather!
Seriously, us Californians (and by some extent Texans) freeze easily. : P
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
On the flip side, go to Texas during the summer. You will die. Locals will point and laugh.
Note: I hate the heat.
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
On the flip side, go to Texas during the summer. You will die. Locals will point and laugh.
Note: I hate the heat.
I was pretty impressed with that, until I realized you were talking about degrees in farenhiet. I mean, -26 celcius? No way.
Ahtman wrote:A friend of mine in California told me of how he was going to start using the fireplace becuase it was a brisk 68 degrees Fahrenheit. That's t-shirt and shorts weather!
Hell yea it is. Hell a buddy of mine, my brother and I went swimming around that temp before. It wasnt smart, and I paid for it, BUT WE DID IT NONE THE LESS!
I too work with just a jacket when Im outside (unless its under the 0 mark) I just get to hot in full get up
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
A jacket?!? What are you some kind of girly man? I've been wearing a t-shirt and sandals while outside for most of the day. Not even cold.
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
A jacket?!? What are you some kind of girly man? I've been wearing a t-shirt and sandals while outside for most of the day. Not even cold.
Of course this is Texas and it's 78 F outside.
I can top you all.
It's called a polar bear plunge. Grab your swim trunks wait until the ocean freezes, and go swimming. It's the most pleasant experience. Because you lose all feeling in everything once you hit the water.
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
On the flip side, go to Texas during the summer. You will die. Locals will point and laugh.
Note: I hate the heat.
Oh, I have no doubt about it, I hate 78 degrees, that's way too hot.
But I mean, that little story happened 10 minutes BEFORE I started work that day. It was the hardest time I have ever had during work, because I had to supress a laugh whenever she was around, and when she wasn't I was laughing so hard I couldn't do much work
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
A jacket?!? What are you some kind of girly man? I've been wearing a t-shirt and sandals while outside for most of the day. Not even cold.
Of course this is Texas and it's 78 F outside.
I can top you all.
It's called a polar bear plunge. Grab your swim trunks wait until the ocean freezes, and go swimming. It's the most pleasant experience. Because you lose all feeling in everything once you hit the water.
Those are quite popular in MN. Oh, and -20 F outside. I can stand the heat, but I really prefer the cold. I want to be frostbitten, not heat stroked. And 60 degree water? That's, like, Lake Superior. That's a nice temp, once you get used to it/lose feeling in certain extremities (which is nice in it's own right)....
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
See what you're doing wrong there is trying to see sense in women...
Manchu wrote: Whole loada Crap about being married
Manchu, I freakin' loved this! It was hilarious and the cause of so many Monty Python references. See what you do there (Mean Girls, Washing Up) is counter a woman with similar [lack of] sense, which is where KK is going wrong IMHO. MOAR updates please?
Kid_Kyoto wrote:
1 - Do women really wear multiple sets of undies for the cold?
2 - Does it actually help?
3 - Do they actually talk about it with other women?
4 - Like, do guys do this too? Can I sit down with my buddies and ask how many sets of underwear they're wearing today? Have I been missing this my whole life?
1. Not that I KNOW of...
2. Can't imagine so...
3. Heck yeah, women talk about everything. Seriously. They could probably write your biography for ya'!
4. Not that I've ever known of but we can always start...
... ahem. Blue Trunks/Boxers, comfy and warm. Not much else to say really... Sometimes I colour coordinate my boxers with my socks or if I'm feeling really crazy with my shirt as-well. True Story.
Slarg232 wrote:Well, it's not "cross cultural", nore is it a marriage, but I found this hilarious:
I live in North Dakota. It is incredibly cold up here, getting close to -15 degrees farenhiet at times. However, we are a hardy people, it's not technically cold until it is windy. Well, I work with this Texan Chick, and this is her first winter up here. It's probably 25 degrees with a little amount of wind. Anyway, I heard this from her one day.
"PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO BE FETHING STUPID TO VOLENTARILY LIVE UP HERE! I AM OUT HERE FREEZING MY ASS OFF, AND IT'S COLD AS HELL!" while bundled up outside unloading a truck. She is wearing two sweatshirts, a heavy coat, hat, gloves, looked like multiple pairs of pants...... And here I come around the corner with my jacket unzipped while not wearing a hat or gloves
Oh man, if looks could kill.
A jacket?!? What are you some kind of girly man? I've been wearing a t-shirt and sandals while outside for most of the day. Not even cold.
Of course this is Texas and it's 78 F outside.
I can top you all.
It's called a polar bear plunge. Grab your swim trunks wait until the ocean freezes, and go swimming. It's the most pleasant experience. Because you lose all feeling in everything once you hit the water.
Those are quite popular in MN. Oh, and -20 F outside. I can stand the heat, but I really prefer the cold. I want to be frostbitten, not heat stroked. And 60 degree water? That's, like, Lake Superior. That's a nice temp, once you get used to it/lose feeling in certain extremities (which is nice in it's own right)....
I should of been more clear, I meant 68 outside. The water was friggin cold lol
So D's on the phone with her mom back home, and I stop in the bedroom getting ready for a shower. Her mom sends very sweet greetings, as usual. D tells her that I'm off to the shower and her mom has her say "Have a good shower" to me. D then mentions that this is a common expression in Bulgaria. And when you come out people then say "Happy shower" and kiss you.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!
(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)
I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.
Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.
Says the man who wont smile in his pic, so we dont see his...
King Cracker, if you won't go swimming when it's 68 degrees out, then you are either from the Bahamas or you need to learn to swim. Lake water is great up until the 55-60 (air temp) mark.
You damn yanks and your crazy temperature scale. I went swimming once in what must have been between 4 -10 degrees celsius. It's bloody cold, I do not recommend it.
Google tells me that is 40-50 F.
Da Boss wrote:You damn yanks and your crazy temperature scale. I went swimming once in what must have been between 4 -10 degrees celsius. It's bloody cold, I do not recommend it.
Google tells me that is 40-50 F.
Btw, I love this thread. Never let it die.
I've been thinking both of those things throughout this thread, well said man.
micahaphone wrote:King Cracker, if you won't go swimming when it's 68 degrees out, then you are either from the Bahamas or you need to learn to swim. Lake water is great up until the 55-60 (air temp) mark.
Hmm, apparently I should also add I dont like swimming Seems everyone thinks my temp was way to high. I live in Michigan though, so cold is my friend
So today my sweetie is wearing a full-on surgical mask out of fear she'll catch my cold. I tried explaining to her that those stories about sickness being caused by tiny tiny bugs running around in your body is an old Japanese wive's tale. Everyone knows illness is caused by evil spirits cursing you.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:So today my sweetie is wearing a full-on surgical mask out of fear she'll catch my cold. I tried explaining to her that those stories about sickness being caused by tiny tiny bugs running around in your body is an old Japanese wive's tale. Everyone knows illness is caused by evil spirits cursing you.
So your next step is to find out who cursed you...and burn them alive!
Kid_Kyoto wrote:OK, now she's just messing with me.
"Scallions are very good for a cold."
"So I should eat some?"
"No you tie around your neck."
This is like the time one of my older Chinese friends matter-of-factly told me that beer would aggravate my stomachache, but whiskey, being "hot", would make my innards feel great. Suuuuure.
Me: blahblahblah ... well you bought a california roll from a H.E.B. in Corpus Christi. Of course it was gross. By the way, does anyone where shoes in grocery stores here? And why did that old lady touch your face and say stuff in Spanish earlier? Creepy.
*excited scanning by checkout lady*
Her: It was the ojo! I don't know how many times I have to explain it too you.
*lady with big cart of stuff holding a baby comes up behind us*
Her (en espanol) do you need any help?
Other her: Yes!
*GF grabs ladies baby and holds it while lady throws stuff on conveyor belt*
Kilkrazy wrote:The beans are really nice -- eat them!
But.. but... rusty nails!
They're just in the pot, it's not like you actually have to eat the nails themselves. There is more to the world of food than bologna on white bread /w mayo ya know. Live a little!
KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans
I loled.
Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.
You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!
KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans
I loled.
Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.
You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!
I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.
KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans
I loled.
Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.
You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!
I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.
KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans
I loled.
Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.
You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!
I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.
We had a Tuna Head for Christmas dinner at mother-in-laws. They went insane for it like Jesus Himself had personally delivered it.
I'm dangerously out of my limited knowledge here, but....normally fatty tuna is considered really good, and the muscles of the tuna's head don't do a whole hell of a lot, so maybe it's fatty up there. Also, even on a big damn tuna, it still only has ONE head. You can get hundreds of pounds of tuna from one fish, but only one head.
We had a Tuna Head for Christmas dinner at mother-in-laws. They went insane for it like Jesus Himself had personally delivered it.
Dude, the meat inside the jaw is the best. I was grossed out a little when I went to an izakaya and my wife (then GF) ordered the jaw of a tuna. I thought, "what the hell?" and gave it a try; tastiest tuna I've ever eaten.....of course it could have been the 4 or 5 apple sours talking...
@ kid+kyotot: love the thread and I hear where you are coming from. My wife is from Thailand and she mixes up the words "naked" and "negative". So for some reason I always get excited when we look over my bank statement together. lol
Keep the dialogue rolling, Cross-cultural marriages FTW!!!
She slaved in the kitchen making me a healthy low-cal vegetarian meal for dinner, but then, after she was asleep I had TWO chocolate chip granola bars. She discovered the wrappers in the trash the next day.
Kid_Kyoto wrote:So my wife caught my cheating last night.
She slaved in the kitchen making me a healthy low-cal vegetarian meal for dinner, but then, after she was asleep I had TWO chocolate chip granola bars. She discovered the wrappers in the trash the next day.
I feel so guilty.
So you did the man thing and lied your ass off about it right?
I dont have a CLUE how those got in there hunny..... Im tellin ya your dinner was fantastic. I mean, you know what it WAS? I bet *insert friend that your wife REALLY hates* did that to make you think I didnt heart your dinner. Boy oh boy I tell you what, hes getting a good ear full when I see him next, infact I think hes at the bar right now.... Ill go and defend your honor.
I tried to tell her a man has certain needs that must be fulfilled and if she ain't meeting them a man is gonna look elsewhere what with those granola bars just hanging there looking all pretty in their silver wrappers...
Kid_Kyoto wrote:So my wife caught my cheating last night.
She slaved in the kitchen making me a healthy low-cal vegetarian meal for dinner, but then, after she was asleep I had TWO chocolate chip granola bars. She discovered the wrappers in the trash the next day.
I feel so guilty.
You should you sick .
(What kind of bars were they, I love me some of the granola ones with little cranberries in them. )
Kilkrazy wrote:You need to remember to bury the wrappers deeper in the rubbish bag. Japanese wives normally don't delve deep into the debris.
My wife is the same way, but shes American, so maybe that works for all wives? If I have a guilty pleasure right after her hard worked on dinner, I go wrist deep or more and have yet to get caught. If I do though, Ive already got a lie Ive worked on for a couple years, so Im golden
Kilkrazy wrote:You need to remember to bury the wrappers deeper in the rubbish bag. Japanese wives normally don't delve deep into the debris.
My wife is the same way, but shes American, so maybe that works for all wives? If I have a guilty pleasure right after her hard worked on dinner, I go wrist deep or more and have yet to get caught. If I do though, Ive already got a lie Ive worked on for a couple years, so Im golden
Amateurs. Skip the normal wastebasket and put it in the big one outside that the truck picks up. She'll never know if she never brings the bags out to it.
Also, Fraz, I find it funny that your wieners operate the opposite of mine: when we attempt to do their nails at home, they make a fuss and fight, but if we bring them to get it done professionally, they always comment on how well behaved and quiet the girls were. My wife hates the fact that Belle and Sora will never let her put nail polish on them(my wife wishes she had girly dogs, but we got a pack of tomboys).
Kilkrazy wrote:You need to remember to bury the wrappers deeper in the rubbish bag. Japanese wives normally don't delve deep into the debris.
My wife is the same way, but shes American, so maybe that works for all wives? If I have a guilty pleasure right after her hard worked on dinner, I go wrist deep or more and have yet to get caught. If I do though, Ive already got a lie Ive worked on for a couple years, so Im golden
Amateurs. Skip the normal wastebasket and put it in the big one outside that the truck picks up. She'll never know if she never brings the bags out to it.
Also, Fraz, I find it funny that your wieners operate the opposite of mine: when we attempt to do their nails at home, they make a fuss and fight, but if we bring them to get it done professionally, they always comment on how well behaved and quiet the girls were. My wife hates the fact that Belle and Sora will never let her put nail polish on them(my wife wishes she had girly dogs, but we got a pack of tomboys).
Good for the dogs, putting nail polish and such on a dog is just dumb if you ask me, almost as bad as dying a dogs hair...
Are you kidding? My wife plays 40k with me, and shes gets annoyed if Im on here to much, I think if I made a DAKKADAKKA looking porn site, Id be golden
KingCracker wrote:Are you kidding? My wife plays 40k with me, and shes gets annoyed if Im on here to much, I think if I made a DAKKADAKKA looking porn site, Id be golden
KingCracker wrote:Are you kidding? My wife plays 40k with me, and shes gets annoyed if Im on here to much, I think if I made a DAKKADAKKA looking porn site, Id be golden
KingCracker wrote:Are you kidding? My wife plays 40k with me, and shes gets annoyed if Im on here to much, I think if I made a DAKKADAKKA looking porn site, Id be golden
New videos every monday, this week KC on FITZZ
Thanks for making me laugh so hard I bursted into a coughing fit.
KingCracker wrote:Are you kidding? My wife plays 40k with me, and shes gets annoyed if Im on here to much, I think if I made a DAKKADAKKA looking porn site, Id be golden
New videos every monday, this week KC on FITZZ
Thanks for making me laugh so hard I bursted into a coughing fit.
I handle lung damage while my future self handles the intestinal
YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Posters of the world unite, rise my comrades. Viva la revolution, VIVA DAKKA
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Posters of the world unite, rise my comrades. Viva la revolution, VIVA DAKKA
No, wait! You'll anger the Server and he'll maul us with his fearsome DOWNTIME!
Kilkrazy wrote:You need to remember to bury the wrappers deeper in the rubbish bag. Japanese wives normally don't delve deep into the debris.
My wife is the same way, but shes American, so maybe that works for all wives? If I have a guilty pleasure right after her hard worked on dinner, I go wrist deep or more and have yet to get caught. If I do though, Ive already got a lie Ive worked on for a couple years, so Im golden
Amateurs. Skip the normal wastebasket and put it in the big one outside that the truck picks up. She'll never know if she never brings the bags out to it.
Also, Fraz, I find it funny that your wieners operate the opposite of mine: when we attempt to do their nails at home, they make a fuss and fight, but if we bring them to get it done professionally, they always comment on how well behaved and quiet the girls were. My wife hates the fact that Belle and Sora will never let her put nail polish on them(my wife wishes she had girly dogs, but we got a pack of tomboys).
Lets just say that the Wife did not inform me of their behavior, which was potentially disastrous for the vet tech.
1. TBone cries out
2. Frazzled goes berserk.
3. Film at eleven.
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Slarg232 wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
DOOMFART! SILENT, BUT DEADLY!
Rise my brothers! Rise and rebel!
....
I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from....
youbedead wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Posters of the world unite, rise my comrades. Viva la revolution, VIVA DAKKA
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Slarg232 wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
DOOMFART! SILENT, BUT DEADLY!
Rise my brothers! Rise and rebel!
....
I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from....
youbedead wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Posters of the world unite, rise my comrades. Viva la revolution, VIVA DAKKA
Oh dear god, not you DOOMFART rejects again
I do not accosiate myself with those ridiculous anarchists, I am a meber of the glorious red dakka party. The forum belongs to the people
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Slarg232 wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
DOOMFART! SILENT, BUT DEADLY!
Rise my brothers! Rise and rebel!
....
I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from....
youbedead wrote:
Happygrunt wrote:
KingCracker wrote:YakFace is all about rules and trying to look like Mr Connery.....LegoBurner took my warboss I spent a week building and threw it at my head. So who else is left
The users! VIVA LA REVELUTION!
Posters of the world unite, rise my comrades. Viva la revolution, VIVA DAKKA
Oh dear god, not you DOOMFART rejects again
I am not affiliated with DOOMFART. I am a member of the United States of DAKKA! FREEDOM AND SCREWY GOVERNMENT FOR ALL!
So this week we're finally getting the bathroom redone.
We meaning me of course.
We were supposed to do this weeks ago but then my sweetie suggested we just wait until she goes back to Japan so that way I can supervise it all by myself.
I have no idea how that works.
So just before she got in a cab she hands me a bottle of sake and a bowl of salt.
"When the bathroom is done you have to put these in the toilet and the sink and the bathtub to clean them, it's good feng shui."
"..."
"You believe me right?"
"Yes dear"
If they didn't burn any bamboo shoots in the make shift red and white topless circus tent, then all the libations and salt pinching will be for naught!
VHS or BETA? *Cheque dispatched*
.
