Ok there's this girl that I like and I've been friends for a while, but I know I'm deep within the "Friend-zone" but I want out. Anyways I said I "liked" her on one of my hang-outs which, you're not supposed to do when you're trying to escape
this dreaded "Zone". After hanging-out I did a little web surfing on how to escape being just friends and I found this one site (advice site links below) that gave me useful tips unfortunately one of the first tips is not to EVER say you "like" her.
So DakkaDakka, I ask you what is your advice on escaping the "Friend Zone"? I'll give you my game plan later.
Take em to a nice dinner, maybe the club, then bring them back to my place...throw on uniform of choice (turnouts or Class A) and let me tell you, the panties just drop my friend.
Failing that, Grab yourself and ask her out on a date.
If she says no, stay a friend but move on romantically.
You have to realize two things: 1. The only reliable way to get a girl to potentially like you (to switch ladders) is to leave her life and return again, redefining yourself and 2. if she's not into you or has friended you permanently (which is extremely likely; realistically you probably have no shot whatsoever), grow a damn pair and move on. Do not wait for her, do not be "noble," let her find out what she's missing and she may just be jealous enough to take you out of the zone herself assuming your new conquest isn't better anyway. Back to the first point:
Stop talking to her as much. Phase her out some. It can be as short as two weeks to transition or a few months or a year, depending on what you're going for, but make her come to you. Professing feelings does nothing for a chick who has friend zoned you. Her wanting you and chasing you does, however. Most important of all, no matter your course of action, KEEP YOUR COOL. Do not get week and NEVER look desperate. If she turns you down, say "okay, whatever" and get out your imaginary James Dean glasses/cigarette. Desperation is a huge turnoff.
In all likelihood you will have to NEXT this girl (doesn't mean you can't keep her as a friend). Keep your chiin up, be a dude and go after what you want, but be realistic. Sitting around waiting for someone has never done anything but screw the guy over.
You have to realize two things: 1. The only reliable way to get a girl to potentially like you (to switch ladders) is to leave her life and return again, redefining yourself and 2. if she's not into you or has friended you permanently (which is extremely likely; realistically you probably have no shot whatsoever), grow a damn pair and move on. Do not wait for her, do not be "noble," let her find out what she's missing and she may just be jealous enough to take you out of the zone herself assuming your new conquest isn't better anyway. Back to the first point:
Stop talking to her as much. Phase her out some. It can be as short as two weeks to transition or a few months or a year, depending on what you're going for, but make her come to you. Professing feelings does nothing for a chick who has friend zoned you. Her wanting you and chasing you does, however. Most important of all, no matter your course of action, KEEP YOUR COOL. Do not get week and NEVER look desperate. If she turns you down, say "okay, whatever" and get out your imaginary James Dean glasses/cigarette. Desperation is a huge turnoff.
In all likelihood you will have to NEXT this girl (doesn't mean you can't keep her as a friend). Keep your chiin up, be a dude and go after what you want, but be realistic. Sitting around waiting for someone has never done anything but screw the guy over.
Well I'm certainly not afraid to lose her I did it last year and I'm definably willing to do it again if I have to, considering it reduces the amount of stress in my life. Yeah I'm thinking of not hanging out for a few weeks but I can't necessarily ignore
her completely considering she is in some of my classes. No I have not gotten weak and desperate, I don't let her dictate my life like I did last year I actually am quite able to live my life without her. Oh I'm going to keep all my true feelings to
Shadowbrand wrote:Seduce her with vodka, and a bed covered in rose petals.
I don't think that's the greatest advice. Anyways so far my adventures in breaking the "touch barrier" have had mixed results sometimes she seems to enjoy it, laughing and smiling other times she gets all tense and nervous, there's also the
occasion where I accidentally hurt her or she puts on disapproving look.
First a couple of film reccommendation:
St Elmo's Fire.... watch it, especially Emilio Estavez's character and his obcession. Key point is near the end of the movie when he just lays it out, steps up and just kisses the object of his obcession, played by Andi MacDowell.
When Harry Met Sally..... sure it take YEARS but it does prove one point.... persistance can pay off.
Seriously, being a "friend" isn't as bad as people make it out to be. It gives you an in when she needs a shoulder or a hug...either of which can lead to other things. Something to think about... most women peak in looks between 25 and 35, though some have the good fortune of aging well. Being the one guy she can bitch to about men also helps you understand what SHE is looking for. Like being more reliable. or just giving honest opinions. As a "friend" guy you also get to see her at her most unprotected moments, you know, when she isn't all concerned with how she looks or what she is wearing while with you. She is way more likely to let things slip to a "friend" than some guy she is dating.
The hardest part of playing the long wait game is conquering jealousy.
My advice is this... you are young, look around a bit, flirt with other girls a bit, but don't stop being "friends" with this one.... And this bit is from some-one with 5 sisters..... women get jealous WAY more easily and frequently than men.
I'm not familiar with the Canuckian courtship and mating rituals, Milkdog, but Cannerus has it right for Uh'merca. No teenage girl is going to respond to a teenage boy mooning over her unless she's already been mooning over him. And since that's not your situation, the best thing to do is look around for another young lady. And start off flirting. If she seems responsive, go straight to asking her to a movie. Waste no time, lad. In the meantime, stop hanging out with the current one altogether. Don't ignore her; just friend zone her back. Then she can decide whether she's willing to work to get your attention back or not while you're doing something constructive.
Milkdog, let me tell you in all seriousness: you're only seventeen once. And even if this chick looks like Megan Fox (or someone you kids these days think is really hot), she is definitely not worth wasting your one and only year being seventeen.
Honestly, there is no tried and true way to get out of the friend zone. Each girl has her own wants and needs. So there is no easy answer for this. It is different for each girl.
Take what advice you can get here and see how you can apply it to your own situation.
Also, a general rule. Don't get hung up on one girl. It will only lead to disaster and wasted youth.
Hanging around in the "friend zone" usually winds up bad for you,and you've already admitted the excess stress you feel when doing so. Being stuck in somebody's FZ is an unhealthy relationship from the get go. She is getting everything that she wants/needs from the relationship,but you aren't,which isn't good emotionally for you. The other problem with admitting that you like a girl and staying in her FZ is that you've made yourself way too available. She basically knows that she can pick you up as her boyfriend whenever she feels like it,so she can be free to play the field and see what's out there knowing that you'll be there to fall back on. There is no real impetus or motivation for her to move you out of the FZ.
The best thing to do is distance yourself from her. Don't be rude or mean,but don't hang out with her,either. Don't go out of your way to avoid her,but don't go out of your way to be around her,either. At this point,you don't want this girl as your friend. You want her as your girlfriend,and you've fallen into the trap of thinking that if you become her friend,then you can progress the relationship to bf/gf. That simply doesn't happen very often. There is an off chance that pulling away from her will make her realize what she's missing out on,and she may try to take that next step,but more than likely,she just likes you as a friend. Since that's not what you're after,your best bet is to cut ties from the relationship entirely. You two have been around each other enough that if she wanted the relationship to go there,it would have. Since it hasn't,your best bet is to walk away from what's turned out to be an unhealthy relationship for you.
Khornholio wrote:You must follow the Nuge's advice;
'When in doubt, whip it out."
I didn't hear it from the Nuge, but from a black dude from Detroit. I said that I wasn't sure whether or not a girl I was hanging out with was interested and he turned his head slowly to give me a bemused look and said:
"Next time she's in your [Barracks] room, just pull your [self edit] out and say 'You gonna [self edit] this or what?"
This may have been the best piece of advice that I have ever been given. Btw, it worked like a charm.
I feel for you, I've been in the friend zone with just about every girl I've ever met...
Fortunately 2-3 weeks ago I met an amazingly beautiful and fairly intelligent girl at a party, who was overheard telling her friend that shes really "into" me, so I at least have a fighting chance of staying out of the friend zone this time lol.
Khornholio wrote:You must follow the Nuge's advice;
'When in doubt, whip it out."
I didn't hear it from the Nuge, but from a black dude from Detroit. I said that I wasn't sure whether or not a girl I was hanging out with was interested and he turned his head slowly to give me a bemused look and said:
"Next time she's in your [Barracks] room, just pull your [self edit] out and say 'You gonna [self edit] this or what?"
This may have been the best piece of advice that I have ever been given. Btw, it worked like a charm.
Amusing how often that sort of thing actually works.
I met my first wife (yes,there's been a few) at a dance club (normally I avoided them like the plague..but had gone with some friends),she was tall,blond and beautiful and I made up my mind I had to get to know her.
After a few bottles of "courage" I made my way to were she sat with some of her friends.
"Want to dance?" I asked her boldly.
"No..not really." came her reply.
" Well...would you like to feth?!" I said,half expecting her to throw her drink at me.
After some stunned laughter,she replied " Well..maybe we should just dance first."
A year later we got married...of course three years later we got divorced...but that's a completely different story.
chaos0xomega wrote:I feel for you, I've been in the friend zone with just about every girl I've ever met...
Fortunately 2-3 weeks ago I met an amazingly beautiful and fairly intelligent girl at a party, who was overheard telling her friend that shes really "into" me, so I at least have a fighting chance of staying out of the friend zone this time lol.
You should find out her position on the Battlefoam issue before you get too serious though.
That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.
syanticraven wrote:Just ask bluntly "Will you go out with me?"
That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.
I've asked her-out dozens of times already and we've had many great times together but I'm still am a "Cuddle-Bitch" (a friend who gets lots of hugs and cuddles but no sex, kissing or romance) that advice isn't going to work for me unfortunately.
Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome (the good kind) on a special birthday!
I know Monster Pain, that's why I'm not hanging out with her for a few weeks, talking to her less and until I have a new approach to the relationship.
Just be honest and tell he exactly what you're thinking.
If she goes for it, good. If not, it's time to look at some new prospects! Insert a cliche here about fish in the sea being plentiful or something like that. And don't forget to blame the victim.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
syanticraven wrote:Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?
Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome on a special birthday!
The trick is to find a girl with whom you don't need a special occasion for this type of activity.
syanticraven wrote:Just ask bluntly "Will you go out with me?"
That will take you out the friend zone and if the answer is no it will stick you in Akward zone, where if you don't have a pass you will get a ticket. After a few days you will be removed and towed to friendville.
I've asked her-out dozens of times already and we've had many great times together but I'm still am a "Cuddle-Bitch" (a friend who gets lots of hugs and cuddles but no sex, kissing or romance) that advice isn't going to work for me unfortunately.
jeez.. I bet you have been off your food and moping around haven't you?
Dude, you don't need advice, you need a slap...
THWACK!
Am I going to have to fly over to Sadville (Population: You), Canada and beat some real life sense into you?
Please, just move on, open your sad, dejected puppy dog eyes to the world that awaits you. You will find plenty of opportunity out there.
syanticraven wrote:Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?
Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome on a special birthday!
The trick is to find a girl with whom you don't need a special occasion for this type of activity.
That ve true, but it is always good to have it in writing. If nothing else but to brag to 'The Lads' about or in case they pull the 'I have a headache' lol.
I know Monster Pain, that's why I'm not hanging out with her for a few weeks, talking to her less and until I have a new approach to the relationship.
Just be honest and tell he exactly what you're thinking.
If she goes for it, good. If not, it's time to look at some new prospects! Insert a cliche here about fish in the sea being plentiful or something like that. And don't forget to blame the victim.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
syanticraven wrote:Wait wait wait. A cuddle bitch?
Na na na, this does not happen to ma man! You tell her you want a serious relationship with a contract that allows for at least 1 threesome on a special birthday!
The trick is to find a girl with whom you don't need a special occasion for this type of activity.
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her
emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner. By keeping my real thoughts about her to myself I create an element of mystery and excitement that is lacking with my friendship, men who keep women guessing usually are
more interesting. Anyways I plan on writing my game plan out tonight combining the best advice from various sites, DakkaDakka and what would work best for me and my predicament also after it's written I would like to have some constructive
criticism on it so I can make it as effective as plausible.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
I agree 100% Monster Rain, MilkDog is going to stay firmly trapped in the friend zone unless he makes it clear he wants to take the relationship in "new directions".
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff. But like I said it has pretty mixed results one
moment she looks like she's having fun, the next she looks like a nervous wreck or a hissing cat. Also she's not afraid to touch me and probably prefers it when she's in control of the "touch barrier" my reactions were at first awkward,
nervous and my body would stiffen (reactions I would sometimes notice on her) when being touched, but now that I'm used to it I let my muscles loosen, relax and enjoy the moment.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff. But like I said it has pretty mixed results one
moment she looks like she's having fun, the next she looks like a nervous wreck or a hissing cat. Also she's not afraid to touch me and probably prefers it when she's in control of the "touch barrier" my reactions were at first awkward,
nervous and my body would stiffen (reactions I would sometimes notice on her) when touching, but now that I'm used to it I let my muscles loosen, relax and enjoy the moment.
Well most girls just let me talk to them and basically protect them from their bastardly sex offenders that they call friends.
Anyway ask her out already. Or else I have to come over there and give you a push into her.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff.
Right.
Friend/emotional tampon stuff. You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone to see the promised land, brohemoth.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff.
Right.
Friend/emotional tampon stuff. You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone to see the promised land, brohemoth.
The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff.
Right.
Friend/emotional tampon stuff. You're going to have to step out of your comfort zone to see the promised land, brohemoth.
The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
Well maybe this is just because I am a badass with knives. Impress with a thing that people don't even know that is a really good talent. Like your painting skills.
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
It probably doesn't help that whenever I raise my arm to touch her, it feels as heavy as lead and probably just as comfortably to feel although there's been a few occasions where it's gone over smoothly.
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
It probably doesn't help that whenever I raise my arm to touch her, it feels as heavy as lead and probably just as comfortably to feel although there's been a few occasions where it's gone over smoothly.
Here's what you should do.
Get off the computer, call her and have her meet you somewhere for a coffee or a glass of maple syrup or whatever it is you Canadians drink for casual encounters. Tell her what's up! Heresy grows from idleness!
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
It probably doesn't help that whenever I raise my arm to touch her, it feels as heavy as lead and probably just as comfortably to feel although there's been a few occasions where it's gone over smoothly.
Here's what you should do.
Get off the computer, call her and have her meet you somewhere for a coffee or a glass of maple syrup or whatever it is you Canadians drink for casual encounters. Tell her what's up! Heresy grows from idleness!
I'm hanging out with Shadowbrand today. Also I don't drink coffee and she hardly does either.
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
It probably doesn't help that whenever I raise my arm to touch her, it feels as heavy as lead and probably just as comfortably to feel although there's been a few occasions where it's gone over smoothly.
Here's what you should do.
Get off the computer, call her and have her meet you somewhere for a coffee or a glass of maple syrup or whatever it is you Canadians drink for casual encounters. Tell her what's up! Heresy grows from idleness!
I'm hanging out with Shadowbrand today.
If Shadowbrand is a true bro, which I know he is, he wouldn't mind you ducking out for a few minutes to meet up with a potential new GF. Surely there's a Tim Horton's nearby where you could get this done. Don't make excuses, man! Engage!
Cheesecat wrote:The thing is if she gets uncomfortable with even the sissy stuff, how am I supposed to impress her with more elaborate stuff (kissing, making-out, hickeys, raspberries, etc...)?
That's why I'm telling you that you should tell her that you'd like to change the parameters of your relationship before you try any of that. This individual seems to have a few hang-ups with physicality, maybe in general or maybe just with you (not saying that to be a dick, it's just something to consider), so I think that in this particular case it would be better to lay things out and let her make a decision.
It probably doesn't help that whenever I raise my arm to touch her, it feels as heavy as lead and probably just as comfortably to feel although there's been a few occasions where it's gone over smoothly.
Here's what you should do.
Get off the computer, call her and have her meet you somewhere for a coffee or a glass of maple syrup or whatever it is you Canadians drink for casual encounters. Tell her what's up! Heresy grows from idleness!
I'm hanging out with Shadowbrand today.
If Shadowbrand is a true bro, which I know he is, he wouldn't mind you ducking out for a few minutes to meet up with a potential new GF. Surely there's a Tim Horton's nearby where you could get this done. Don't make excuses, man! Engage!
You act like I don't spend time with her outside of school, I just watched a movie with her this week. Plus Saturday is the only day he's available.
Cheesecat wrote:
But showing your feelings is one of the best ways to get yourself firmly planted in the "Friend-Zone" because you're being honest with her she feels she can trust you, can predict your emotions better and has someone she can share her emotions with, not someone she views as romantic/sexual partner.
Telling her specifically that you want to be more than friends and that the current arrangement doesn't work for you anymore would do a lot to change your situation.
Yeah but there's other ways of showing that you want more out of a relation other than talking about it, such as breaking the touch barrier.
It seems like you already know what her clearly defined boundaries are concerning the touch barrier, my man.
Stating your intentions also less awkward than grabbing her somewhere in her "bikini area" and being rebuffed, at least with someone you want to have a real relationship with. If it's some pig you picked up in a bar or something, there's a whole different set of social conventions.
I don't grab the "bikini area" I usually just pet her hair, squeeze her toes, rub my finger across the brow, hugs, snuggling, cuddling, pat on the back, rub the arm, etc generally pretty tame stuff. But like I said it has pretty mixed results one
moment she looks like she's having fun, the next she looks like a nervous wreck or a hissing cat. Also she's not afraid to touch me and probably prefers it when she's in control of the "touch barrier" my reactions were at first awkward,
nervous and my body would stiffen (reactions I would sometimes notice on her) when being touched, but now that I'm used to it I let my muscles loosen, relax and enjoy the moment.
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Wow great encouragement. You better not of broken Cheese Cat. D:
why is it when we have a psychiatrist? They always like destroy your way of life on dakkadakka?
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Wow great encouragement. You better not of broken Cheese Cat. D:
why is it when we have a psychiatrist? They always like destroy your way of life on dakkadakka?
Don't worry I've been taking some of the advice on this thread, with a grain of salt. Besides it's not like I don't have experience in losing her.
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Wow great encouragement. You better not of broken Cheese Cat. D:
why is it when we have a psychiatrist? They always like destroy your way of life on dakkadakka?
Not trying to "break" anybody,but it just seems like Cheese Cat is in a state of denial and refusing to accept the situation. This is real life,not a John Hughes movie where all the ignored guy friend has to do is come clean with his feelings and the girl will instantly fall in love with him and they'll live happilly ever after. Cheese Cat already admits that he has a lot more stress in his life when he's dealing with this girl,which is a good sign that it's simply not a good situation for him. Obviously,if he continues to pursue this,then I hope I'm wrong,but there's no since in him beating his head against a brick wall,either.
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Wow great encouragement. You better not of broken Cheese Cat. D:
why is it when we have a psychiatrist? They always like destroy your way of life on dakkadakka?
Not trying to "break" anybody,but it just seems like Cheese Cat is in a state of denial and refusing to accept the situation. This is real life,not a John Hughes movie where all the ignored guy friend has to do is come clean with his feelings and the girl will instantly fall in love with him and they'll live happilly ever after. Cheese Cat already admits that he has a lot more stress in his life when he's dealing with this girl,which is a good sign that it's simply not a good situation for him. Obviously,if he continues to pursue this,then I hope I'm wrong,but there's no since in him beating his head against a brick wall,either.
Just seemed cold hearted to me. Of course I do over protect people even if they get a paper cut....
So I can really talk about this issue. Anyway. Cheese Cat its your choice. You can take the blue pill and go further down the rabbit hole or take the red pill and go back to normal and ignore the girl.
Didn't seem cold-hearted to me, though I believe he's got a slim shot and agree "coming clean" will accomplish jack since he's already done it. You want her to want you. If she doesn't want you then your affections are wasted. Something to consider realistically, I have no idea what you or she looks like, but you may not be her type and there's nothing you can do about that except dissappear and come back as her type.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Didn't seem cold-hearted to me, though I believe he's got a slim shot and agree "coming clean" will accomplish jack since he's already done it. You want her to want you. If she doesn't want you then your affections are wasted. Something to consider realistically, I have no idea what you or she looks like, but you may not be her type and there's nothing you can do about that except dissappear and come back as her type.
Suprisingly the last bit helps me tremendously out of the binds i Am in the moment.
Cannerus knows his stuff as of late, anyway. If anyone wants more... "personal" advice of any kind, feel free to PM me. I likely have an anecdote to throw in with it.
I would like to point out that I'm not trying to say that if he makes his position clear that she'll fall into his arms and they'll be married next spring. If you think that I am, you should seriously re-read my posts on the subject.
It's just what needs to be done to move things forward, regardless of the outcome.
Dude,you're done. It's not going to happen. Never was going to happen. Never will happen.
The reason she doesn't like it when you make contact with her is because she perceives it as an unwanted sexual advance,and it's pretty obvious that she doesn't like you that way. She likes you as a friend,but simply isn't attracted to you in that way. You've asked her out multiple times and put your feelings out there. If she wanted you,she'd be with you. You can try different psychological techniques,like keeping your distance,to essentially try and manipulate her into hooking up with you,but that kind of relationship simply isn't going to last. It's pretty much the equivalent of showing up at her place with some alcohol and hoping something happens. It will not turn into a relationship built on mutual feelings and attraction. It will be a relationship built on manipulation,and that's not healthy for either of you.
Best thing to do is move on. Probably isn't what you want to hear,but you're wasting too much time and energy on something that simply isn't meant to be.
Wow great encouragement. You better not of broken Cheese Cat. D:
why is it when we have a psychiatrist? They always like destroy your way of life on dakkadakka?
Not trying to "break" anybody,but it just seems like Cheese Cat is in a state of denial and refusing to accept the situation. This is real life,not a John Hughes movie where all the ignored guy friend has to do is come clean with his feelings and the girl will instantly fall in love with him and they'll live happilly ever after. Cheese Cat already admits that he has a lot more stress in his life when he's dealing with this girl,which is a good sign that it's simply not a good situation for him. Obviously,if he continues to pursue this,then I hope I'm wrong,but there's no since in him beating his head against a brick wall,either.
That's a misconception I'm actually not that stressed out, I'm just trying to make the decision that will help me get what I want most but with all this advice (some good, some bad) that at times contradicts itself I'm feeling a little directionless.
Now if I had last years mindset then yeah I would be probably be having a stress meltdown.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Monster Rain wrote:I would like to point out that I'm not trying to say that if he makes his position clear that she'll fall into his arms and they'll be married next spring. If you think that I am, you should seriously re-read my posts on the subject.
It's just what needs to be done to move things forward, regardless of the outcome.
Unfortunately your advice contradicts Cannerus's and I've found both your guys advice helpful, but I don't know which is a better choice.
Monster Rain wrote:I would like to point out that I'm not trying to say that if he makes his position clear that she'll fall into his arms and they'll be married next spring. If you think that I am, you should seriously re-read my posts on the subject.
It's just what needs to be done to move things forward, regardless of the outcome.
Unfortunately your advice contradicts Cannerus's and I've found both your guys advice helpful, but I don't know which is a better choice.
I'm trying to figure out what Cannerus's advice actually is.
rubiksnoob wrote:Whatever the outcome of this is, you better hope she never finds out you had a 2 page discussion about how to ask her out on a toy soldier forum.
rubiksnoob wrote:Whatever the outcome of this is, you better hope she never finds out you had a 2 page discussion about how to ask her out on a toy soldier forum.
You'z iz goin to da Prom wit' me, ya grot lovin' son of a squig!
Monster Rain wrote:I would like to point out that I'm not trying to say that if he makes his position clear that she'll fall into his arms and they'll be married next spring. If you think that I am, you should seriously re-read my posts on the subject.
It's just what needs to be done to move things forward, regardless of the outcome.
Unfortunately your advice contradicts Cannerus's and I've found both your guys advice helpful, but I don't know which is a better choice.
I'm trying to figure out what Cannerus's advice actually is.
Cannerus wants me to avoid her for a few weeks come back as a changed man, doesn't want me to be be the nice guy but someone who isn't afraid to take the initiative also I must keep my feelings to myself. I can't get desperate and must
remain calm.
You however want me to invite her out, express all my feelings and tell her that I can't just be friends with her anymore and that for the relationship to continue we need to go the next step up. Tell her I'm an "All or Nothing" guy.
Replace "weeks" with "months". Start hitting the gym. Start being fething confident for feth's sake, dude. Get laid. Then come back to her, totally changed. This isn't a little pussy "oh I need to keep my emotions to myself and not talk to her for 2 weeks". This is a commitment. You want this girl? You're gonna have to do a 180 broski.
And honestly, there's plenty more fish in the sea. Don't worry about it. Hell, after a couple months and after you get laid and all that jazz, when you come back to her, you may find that she's really nothing special in the first place.
Vladsimpaler wrote:Replace "weeks" with "months". Start hitting the gym. Start being fething confident for feth's sake, dude. Get laid. Then come back to her, totally changed. This isn't a little pussy "oh I need to keep my emotions to myself and not talk to her for 2 weeks". This is a commitment. You want this girl? You're gonna have to do a 180 broski.
And honestly, there's plenty more fish in the sea. Don't worry about it. Hell, after a couple months and after you get laid and all that jazz, when you come back to her, you may find that she's really nothing special in the first place.
I am confident, but I have enough common sense to know that I'm most likely going to fail as well. Also you sound like a friend of mine who thinks all life's problems can be solved by lifting weights.
rubiksnoob wrote:Whatever the outcome of this is, you better hope she never finds out you had a 2 page discussion about how to ask her out on a toy soldier forum.
You'z iz goin to da Prom wit' me, ya grot lovin' son of a squig!
I don't even want to see a pic of her if she's a "Grot lovin son of a squig!"
rubiksnoob wrote:Whatever the outcome of this is, you better hope she never finds out you had a 2 page discussion about how to ask her out on a toy soldier forum.
You'z iz goin to da Prom wit' me, ya grot lovin' son of a squig!
I don't even want to see a pic of her if she's a "Grot lovin son of a squig!"
Dem gitz at match.com sez we'ze gotz a 90 percent Komptatabiltee ratin'. So's we goin' out or am I gonna put yer head on my pointy stikk?
Okay, here's Uncle Simon coming in to sort you out once-and-for-all!
First off, it sounds like you're probably buggered, but at least you can find out exactly where you stand and go on from there.
Secondly, forget all this bollocks about re-inventing yourself. You are who you are and unless you're some kind of schizo, that's unlikely to change very much.
So, you need to find a quiet moment and tell her straight out - "I love being your friend, and I don't want to spoil that, but I'm crazy about you and it's driving me insane."
It's quite likely she'll come out with some old cobblers about it ruining your friendship. Teenagers seem to be really hung up on that. Your other half should be your best friend, although your best friend shouldn't necessarily be your other half (so tell Shadowbrand he can step away from the wall).
Anyway, in the event of a no, it might be worth asking her why, assuming there's no obvious problem such as you being a mutant...
Above all, remember there are plenty more fish in the sea.
BloodQuest wrote:Above all, remember there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Maybe he is Captain Ahab?
What I would do, Cheese, is take her out on "romantic 'friend' dates".
Ask her if she wants to go shopping at the mall, and make sure to spend enough time there that you have to go get some food at the food court. Make sure to plan ahead, and that theres a movie playing that she has been talking to you about seeing, and say something alone the lines of "You want to stay to see the movie? I mean, we are here anyway."
My plan for my gal who has me in the friend zone is to get her to go on "dates" that aren't technically "dates", if you know what I mean.
Slarg232 wrote:My plan for my gal who has me in the friend zone is to get her to go on "dates" that aren't technically "dates", if you know what I mean.
Not to be too much of an arsehole, but the very fact that you appear to be in a similar position would seem to indicate that your advice is unlikely to pay dividends.
Slarg232 wrote:My plan for my gal who has me in the friend zone is to get her to go on "dates" that aren't technically "dates", if you know what I mean.
Not to be too much of an arsehole, but the very fact that you appear to be in a similar position would seem to indicate that your advice is unlikely to pay dividends.
I meant that Ahab only wanted that ONE fish in the sea, no other one would do.
Also, he has been in the situation for a while, I'm just now getting into it
Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
But, you can't read my, can't read my, no you can't read my poker face!
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
Any guy that's clueless enough to land in the friend zone and then ask for advice here is almost assuredly incapable of putting together enough game to pull it off. Yes, like most things it's theoretically possible. People accomplish it. But the best advice is to move on, and take a better swing at the next girl.
Cheesecat wrote: Unfortunately your advice contradicts Cannerus's and I've found both your guys advice helpful, but I don't know which is a better choice.
Take my advice if you want to feth her. Take MR's if you'd like a relationship. Pretty simple in the long run I would advise NOT to take her out on "friend dates" though. This will mean she has: A) your affection, B) your time and C) your money. What do you have? Friendship, which youwouldahve anyway. There is no such thing as "sweetening" a girl to like you. Similar to how they say if a girl is a slut no guy will stay with her because they can get what they want, no girl will want to be with you if they can get what they want (emotional support, etc.) without having to and they will find the closest "bad boy" and give him everything you want then complain to you about him.
@MR: I sang that at karaoke the other night Got a standing ovation.
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
Any guy that's clueless enough to land in the friend zone and then ask for advice here is almost assuredly incapable of putting together enough game to pull it off. Yes, like most things it's theoretically possible. People accomplish it. But the best advice is to move on, and take a better swing at the next girl.
Hey, I already said that I'm most likely going to fail but I still want to try for one last push out of the "FZ" even if I feth things over.
Cheesecat wrote:
Unfortunately your advice contradicts Cannerus's and I've found both your guys advice helpful, but I don't know which is a better choice.
Take my advice if you want to feth her. Take MR's if you'd like a relationship. Pretty simple in the long run I would advise NOT to take her out on "friend dates" though. This will mean she has: A) your affection, B) your time and C) your money. What do you have? Friendship, which youwouldahve anyway. There is no such thing as "sweetening" a girl to like you. Similar to how they say if a girl is a slut no guy will stay with her because they can get what they want, no girl will want to be with you if they can get what they want (emotional support, etc.) without having to and they will find the closest "bad boy" and give him everything you want then complain to you about him.
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
Any guy that's clueless enough to land in the friend zone and then ask for advice here is almost assuredly incapable of putting together enough game to pull it off. Yes, like most things it's theoretically possible. People accomplish it. But the best advice is to move on, and take a better swing at the next girl.
Hey, I already said that I'm most likely going to fail but I still want to try for one last push out of the "FZ" even if I feth things over.
The only way to stop being in the friend zone is to stop being a friend.
Polonius wrote:Once you're in the friend zone there's no getting out. If you're the kind of guy that gets into that situation, there's no way you'll be the kind of guy that can get out of it.
Lies. If you play your cards right, you can get in and out of any situation imaginable.
You just have to have a good pokerface and a decent reason to play.
Any guy that's clueless enough to land in the friend zone and then ask for advice here is almost assuredly incapable of putting together enough game to pull it off. Yes, like most things it's theoretically possible. People accomplish it. But the best advice is to move on, and take a better swing at the next girl.
Hey, I already said that I'm most likely going to fail but I still want to try for one last push out of the "FZ" even if I feth things over.
The only way to stop being in the friend zone is to stop being a friend.
That's why I plan on isolating myself from her until I have a clearer head.
Ehh, people have sex for lots of reasons at lots of times. I can testify that you never know who you may end up in the sack with I've been with friends from high school years after that I never thoguht I would.
You must tear down the old cheesecat, than rebuild him. Then tear him back down, break for lunch, and if there's time, rebuild him again.
I'm also riding a poor dating streak that's gone on for way too long. Somehow between losing weight and getting an awesome new job I've become less attractive.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Ehh, people have sex for lots of reasons at lots of times. I can testify that you never know who you may end up in the sack with I've been with friends from high school years after that I never thoguht I would.
Truth. In a lot of ways it can actually be EASIER to feth one of your friends, depending on how evil you are of course. It helps that I'm a soulless arsehole when it comes to women (or at least, I was in a past life, so to speak...).
How can it possibly be easier, you may ask?
Well, you're already in the Dreaded Friend Zone, correct? The solution: get deeper into the Dreaded Friend Zone. Become mayor of the Dreaded Friend Zone. Get so close to her that you have sleepovers, and lay under the duvet watching 'Friends' or 'Sex and The City whilst eating chocolate'. Give her a shoulder to cry on about her friends, boyfriends, 'women's problems' or the myriad other banal things women insist on talking endlessly about. Become well-informed on fashion/styling, make-up - comment on her perfume, know what it is. Give her advice on stuff like that every once in a while. Get her to trust you completely by NEVER making a move on her or bringing up the possibility - hell, encourage her to sleep with other men! Or at least don't act all hurt if she does (and she will - sadly, you need to get ready for that, mate).
You need to come out and say: 'Listen, I know I've been a bit weird around you - I just had a bit of a crush on you, and while you ARE still gorgeous, I'm pretty much over you. I think it would be really cool if we could be friends. In fact, there's this girl I like - could you give me some pointers?'
She needs to think that fething her is the last thing on your mind - you need to be like a gay BFF to her.
But one day....
She'll be vulnerable, lonely, or just bored - this is the perfect time to bring up the concept of 'feth buddy', because 'Hey, we're friends right? We both like sex, we're both single - it's not like we're gonna fall in love with each other or anything, is it?'
Be advised: This is a long game - don't do this over a fortnight. It might take a year. And you won't end up in a relationship with her this way - things will probably get weird. She might even realise that she was manipulated and hate your guts forever (happened to me) - what I'm talking about IS evil and underhanded, and will make you a bad person.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Ehh, people have sex for lots of reasons at lots of times. I can testify that you never know who you may end up in the sack with I've been with friends from high school years after that I never thoguht I would.
Truth. In a lot of ways it can actually be EASIER to feth one of your friends, depending on how evil you are of course. It helps that I'm a soulless arsehole when it comes to women (or at least, I was in a past life, so to speak...).
How can it possibly be easier, you may ask?
Well, you're already in the Dreaded Friend Zone, correct? The solution: get deeper into the Dreaded Friend Zone. Become mayor of the Dreaded Friend Zone. Get so close to her that you have sleepovers, and lay under the duvet watching 'Friends' or 'Sex and The City whilst eating chocolate'. Give her a shoulder to cry on about her friends, boyfriends, 'women's problems' or the myriad other banal things women insist on talking endlessly about. Become well-informed on fashion/styling, make-up - comment on her perfume, know what it is. Give her advice on stuff like that every once in a while. Get her to trust you completely by NEVER making a move on her or bringing up the possibility - hell, encourage her to sleep with other men! Or at least don't act all hurt if she does (and she will - sadly, you need to get ready for that, mate).
You need to come out and say: 'Listen, I know I've been a bit weird around you - I just had a bit of a crush on you, and while you ARE still gorgeous, I'm pretty much over you. I think it would be really cool if we could be friends. In fact, there's this girl I like - could you give me some pointers?'
She needs to think that fething her is the last thing on your mind - you need to be like a gay BFF to her.
But one day....
She'll be vulnerable, lonely, or just bored - this is the perfect time to bring up the concept of 'feth buddy', because 'Hey, we're friends right? We both like sex, we're both single - it's not like we're gonna fall in love with each other or anything, is it?'
Be advised: This is a long game - don't do this over a fortnight. It might take a year. And you won't end up in a relationship with her this way - things will probably get weird. She might even realise that she was manipulated and hate your guts forever (happened to me) - what I'm talking about IS evil and underhanded, and will make you a bad person.
But at least you'll get what you want.
That is evil, cruel, appaling, and demeaning to her as person.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Ehh, people have sex for lots of reasons at lots of times. I can testify that you never know who you may end up in the sack with I've been with friends from high school years after that I never thoguht I would.
Truth. In a lot of ways it can actually be EASIER to feth one of your friends, depending on how evil you are of course. It helps that I'm a soulless arsehole when it comes to women (or at least, I was in a past life, so to speak...).
How can it possibly be easier, you may ask?
Well, you're already in the Dreaded Friend Zone, correct? The solution: get deeper into the Dreaded Friend Zone. Become mayor of the Dreaded Friend Zone. Get so close to her that you have sleepovers, and lay under the duvet watching 'Friends' or 'Sex and The City whilst eating chocolate'. Give her a shoulder to cry on about her friends, boyfriends, 'women's problems' or the myriad other banal things women insist on talking endlessly about. Become well-informed on fashion/styling, make-up - comment on her perfume, know what it is. Give her advice on stuff like that every once in a while. Get her to trust you completely by NEVER making a move on her or bringing up the possibility - hell, encourage her to sleep with other men! Or at least don't act all hurt if she does (and she will - sadly, you need to get ready for that, mate).
You need to come out and say: 'Listen, I know I've been a bit weird around you - I just had a bit of a crush on you, and while you ARE still gorgeous, I'm pretty much over you. I think it would be really cool if we could be friends. In fact, there's this girl I like - could you give me some pointers?'
She needs to think that fething her is the last thing on your mind - you need to be like a gay BFF to her.
But one day....
She'll be vulnerable, lonely, or just bored - this is the perfect time to bring up the concept of 'feth buddy', because 'Hey, we're friends right? We both like sex, we're both single - it's not like we're gonna fall in love with each other or anything, is it?'
Be advised: This is a long game - don't do this over a fortnight. It might take a year. And you won't end up in a relationship with her this way - things will probably get weird. She might even realise that she was manipulated and hate your guts forever (happened to me) - what I'm talking about IS evil and underhanded, and will make you a bad person.
But at least you'll get what you want.
That is evil, cruel, appaling, and demeaning to her as person.
Shadowbrand wrote:Honestly that doesn't sound so much evil as the long route to what Cheesecat wants.
I always thought of feth-buddies more people who are exprementing/ find each other attractive but don't want a relathionship.
Perhaps, but to insinuate ones self into her life under the pretence of wanting to be best friends, but with the actual objective of gaining her trust in order to exploit her sexually is pretty fiendish, no?
I 100% accept that the concept of 'feth buddying' can arise naturally and isn't necessarily 'evil'.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Ehh, people have sex for lots of reasons at lots of times. I can testify that you never know who you may end up in the sack with I've been with friends from high school years after that I never thoguht I would.
Truth. In a lot of ways it can actually be EASIER to feth one of your friends, depending on how evil you are of course. It helps that I'm a soulless arsehole when it comes to women (or at least, I was in a past life, so to speak...).
How can it possibly be easier, you may ask?
Well, you're already in the Dreaded Friend Zone, correct? The solution: get deeper into the Dreaded Friend Zone. Become mayor of the Dreaded Friend Zone. Get so close to her that you have sleepovers, and lay under the duvet watching 'Friends' or 'Sex and The City whilst eating chocolate'. Give her a shoulder to cry on about her friends, boyfriends, 'women's problems' or the myriad other banal things women insist on talking endlessly about. Become well-informed on fashion/styling, make-up - comment on her perfume, know what it is. Give her advice on stuff like that every once in a while. Get her to trust you completely by NEVER making a move on her or bringing up the possibility - hell, encourage her to sleep with other men! Or at least don't act all hurt if she does (and she will - sadly, you need to get ready for that, mate).
You need to come out and say: 'Listen, I know I've been a bit weird around you - I just had a bit of a crush on you, and while you ARE still gorgeous, I'm pretty much over you. I think it would be really cool if we could be friends. In fact, there's this girl I like - could you give me some pointers?'
She needs to think that fething her is the last thing on your mind - you need to be like a gay BFF to her.
But one day....
She'll be vulnerable, lonely, or just bored - this is the perfect time to bring up the concept of 'feth buddy', because 'Hey, we're friends right? We both like sex, we're both single - it's not like we're gonna fall in love with each other or anything, is it?'
Be advised: This is a long game - don't do this over a fortnight. It might take a year. And you won't end up in a relationship with her this way - things will probably get weird. She might even realise that she was manipulated and hate your guts forever (happened to me) - what I'm talking about IS evil and underhanded, and will make you a bad person.
But at least you'll get what you want.
The truth is both liberating and terrifying at the same time!
Alby, when I saw "cruel" and was halfway through the story I thought you were going to say get super close to her as a friend like you said, make her need you, then completely leave her high and dry for no stated reason Hell, set up a time to see a movie and bail on her without saying anything about it, ignoring any time she references it XD She'll be freaking out so much and so terrified to be without you that she'll come back to you on any terms you set Now THAT's evil!
Wow thats alot of typing. anyway called the girl like 2 weeks ago. And she has yet to call back. And I think she might think I hate her and I think she might hate me. Thats happened before right?
Asherian Command wrote: Wow thats alot of typing. anyway called the girl like 2 weeks ago. And she has yet to call back. And I think she might think I hate her and I think she might hate me. Thats happened before right?
Asherian Command wrote: Wow thats alot of typing. anyway called the girl like 2 weeks ago. And she has yet to call back. And I think she might think I hate her and I think she might hate me. Thats happened before right?
Sounds like the story of my life.
Yep. except the girl has yet to talk back to me. I say hello to her every day. And I make small talk to her friends because I know her friends very well (Went to grade school with them.) I also know her sister and alot of her other friends. Its hilarious, but she might think i dig one of her friends, which I don't as I am a over protective person when someone gets hurt.
I basically shelter the person and threaten to hurt the person that cause the person i am protecting harm.
So I think that may be it. Or the fact that one of my friends is a pervert and use to dig her.
Except she doesn't know I almost broke his entire arm after he told me that he was going to rape a few girls. And it pissed me off as I got overprotective, but for the right reason. I told him that if he wants to be my friend he will never ever say that again about innocents, and that I will not let anyone innocent in nature to me will not be harmed in anyway. But I said to him that if he trys and mention this to anyone I will ensure that he will never see anyone of me or any of my friends, who are his friends as well, see us again.
There is drama. But rather than stupid petty drama, it's actually important drama. I have friend's that see their kids twice a year because of drama. Life doesn't get easier, it just gets more real. You stop having time for the stupid stuff.
Well, things suck worse when you're older. They are also often better. I have to worry about repaying student loan debt, which is much worse than worrying about a book report for AP English. On the other hand, instead of sneaking a few beers at a party, i can drink finely crafted micro brew in my own apartment while smoking a cigar. You take the good with the bad.
Also, Monster Rain and Cannerus speak the truth. Possibly with a side of Albatross, but I don't have experience with that level of fiendishness.
Your first and easiest course is just to break it down for her honestly. The relationship isn't meeting your needs. You want an actual romantic & physical relationship. She can choose to have you on those terms, or you can move on. As other people have observed, however, this mostly just works in movies. It has a very low-percentage chance of success, but given how little time and effort (aside from screwing your courage to the sticking place) it takes, it may be worth a shot.
Your far better chance, as Cannerus has said, is to move the hell on, reinvent yourself a bit, and come back later (we're talking months or a year, not weeks) and ask her out when you come back.
As for the reinvention, this is, at a minimum, ACTUALLY dating some other women, but achieving/accomplishing something in terms of improving yourself would help too. Like working out to get in (visibly) better shape, joining a band, taking a study abroad semester, or something. When you come back you want it to be apparent that you are an interesting and desirable person, and notably different from the poor sucker she was taking advantage of (even if she does not admit to herself that she was taking advantage of you).
Overall, however, odds are you are never going to have this relationship. This diagnosis is based in part on experience with similar situations, in part on experience with women, and in part on your earlier comments which seem to indicate that this relationship has been going on (in one form or another) for a year or more. Most likely she is never going to look at you the way you need her to for it to be a viable relationship. And as Manchu said, you are better off moving along and not wasting your seventeeth/eighteenth year, or really any more of your time, on this frustrating relationship which is giving her what she wants, but not giving you what you want.
Keep us updated Can we get an "ongoing dating and/or relationship stories (within moderation)" thread going or is that too un-toy soldiery? I think it could be interesting and fun!
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Keep us updated Can we get an "ongoing dating and/or relationship stories (within moderation)" thread going or is that too un-toy soldiery? I think it could be interesting and fun!
Yeah they're much more interesting than the politics & religion threads that dominate the "Off-Topic" forum.
Mannahnin wrote:
Overall, however, odds are you are never going to have this relationship. This diagnosis is based in part on experience with similar situations, in part on experience with women, and in part on your earlier comments which seem to indicate that this relationship has been going on (in one form or another) for a year or more. Most likely she is never going to look at you the way you need her to for it to be a viable relationship. And as Manchu said, you are better off moving along and not wasting your seventeeth/eighteenth year, or really any more of your time, on this frustrating relationship which is giving her what she wants, but not giving you what you want.
This basically would have been my advice for those of a less psychotic disposition. Just move on. You don't want to be her friend, you just want to nail her. And let's face it - she's not going to let you. Not unless you do something that would make you a cold-hearted bastard from the depths of a Martin Amis novel.
I don't think you have it in you, FromageFeline. Sorry, but there it is. It's not a bad thing. It actually makes you a good person, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Some women dig a guy who can do a passable impression of being a good person, even if you're only just clinging to the mask by your fingernails. It's worked for me for the last 6 years, and I have to say it's a relief not to have a ton of skeletons in my closet these days. It's just an easier life when you don't have to watch your back all the time.
Wow, I'm really coming out of this thread looking bad, aren't I?
Dakka dakka for advice? Anyway, get yourself a pair of balls and make a move. Failing that when your at a party and everyones out of it, say how you feel and if "she no digs it", you can always use the "sorry I was drunk" excuse. But you have planted seeds in her mind, which can bring her interest forward, in time though.
Again the "make a move on her friend to see what happens" is another area to try. You either make her jealous, failing that if the friend breaks up with you, use her shoulder to cry on, Vulnerable positions like this usually lead to peoples true emotions coming to bear. Make a move carefully, your on your own from there.
And this works due to the fact that I did something similar in my sociology and psychology thesis's. Well at least in theory.
She's not your girl just because you masturbate to images of her 24/7
what?
Why would I do that? O.o
I haven't Masturbated in five weeks.
Put that young libido to use! It cures cancer or something.
I would be joining in on the masturbation jokes, but since this is my thread I don't want to get it locked. Anyways I've decided to sever my ties with her till Christmas holidays and by that time I'll decide which direction I want to go with her.
I will echo a lot of what has been said. Give it a shot and if she's not up to it, let it go.
I wish I knew this 10-15 years ago because I spent waaaaaay too much time on the old 'maybe someday she'll love me blah blah'. It's all BS. All the time you're spending pining for someone who won't reciprocate could be spent with someone who will.
pretre wrote:All the time you're spending pining for someone who won't reciprocate could be spent with someone who will.
EDIT: Okay my post was unnecessarily unpleasant.
This is nice to say, but it really isn't as simple as that. Finding and making something working isn't does happen magically. Also throwing around terms like "Friend Zone" doesn't exactly point at the most realistic attitudes towards other people, making things more challenging at best.
pretre wrote:All the time you're spending pining for someone who won't reciprocate could be spent with someone who will.
EDIT: Okay my post was unnecessarily unpleasant.
This is nice to say, but it really isn't as simple as that. Finding and making something working isn't does happen magically. Also throwing around terms like "Friend Zone" doesn't exactly point at the most realistic attitudes towards other people, making things more challenging at best.
Well sure. Nothing is really as simple as a sentence on the interwebs. Thanks for the newsflash. Also, I have been married for a few years now; I'm pretty familiar with the making things work idea.
That being said. I'm fairly sure that the OP (and a large number of geeks, including myself about 15 years ago) spend a lot of time pining over people who will not love them the way they want to be loved. They/I have a hard time separating friendship and romantic love. Looking back at it from where I am now, it isn't rocket science, but at the time it was.
The 'realistic attitude' is that you need to find people who are interested in the same kind of things as you in a relationship. The best way to do that? Be honest and open. You can't just keep thinking it and hope that they start reading your mind or change theirs.
Well, after reading through all five pages thus far I suppose I'll toss in my two cents.
There has been some pretty good advice here, some maybe not IMO. I'm not a fan of the separating yourself and coming back a "different person", maybe it'd work in some situations but I haven't had one.
I'm not going to tell you what you should do, instead I'll tell you what has worked for me.
I used to be the clingy type early on in high school, which never turned out to anything. It wasn’t until the point where I really stopped actively pursuing women that things looked up for me. When I didn't pay attention to women, and just concentrated on having a good time (which I wish I would've done a lot more during high school) I was less stressed, more confident, and being me. Those are all things that women are attracted to. After I did that I found women seeking me out rather than the other way around. These relationships have typically ended in much better standings for me than those where I was pursuing them. Plus it all but eliminated the friend zone problem for me, because the women that were after me weren't like "OMG you should come over to my house when my parents aren’t home so we can just be friends!".
Apart from my high school dating habits, I have found that there are generally two types of men and women: Women that want to be taken care of and women that want to be wanted. Men that are the blunt this is what I want and I'm leaving if I don’t get it and the more caring knight in shining armor type men.
I am the latter (and you come off as that to me too), which you don’t want to be if your intentions are getting in the sack with lots of women. Being this guy has gotten me much fewer women, but the ones that do dig it absolutely DIG it. But being the KISA type guy you're going to mesh better with a woman who is the want to be cared for woman, because the other is just going to be a waste of your time because you are satisfying her by just wanting her and getting nowhere. This goes completely opposite but along the same lines for the other types of women/men respectively.
Take my advice for what you will, examine yourself and decide what is better for you: To have a good time and let women come to you or to spend the rest of your few teenage years letting women suck you dry. Ultimately you are you, and you will have to find something that works for you. This may or may not be something that someone else helps you to realize. All in all you need to just decide when you're wasting your time, and what's worth spending time on and that is something you will have to decide for yourself.
/2 cents
Automatically Appended Next Post: Any women that dont fit into the two catergories are just confused and fall in the third don't waste your time, you'll get nowhere/around in circles catergory.
Well Thing Is I try and try and talk to her every day. And yet I can never actually talk to her due to her friend shield.
I live at least 25 miles away from her. And her shields are always up. *RAGE*
Probably because her last boyfriend was a bust. And not only that but I am weird of course she openly admitted that she was weirder. (back when I had classes with her.)
Ma55ter_fett wrote:You could try copping a feel while she sleeps.
That ought to get you out of the "friend" zone pretty quick, one way or the other.
This is creepy and prone to fail. rubiksnoob has the right idea. Don't pussyfoot about the matter. Approach her and just put it out there. No, not that. I mean the classic "Just tell her how you feel". It's usually that simple, and worst case, she shoots you down, but then you know. If you're at least confidant enough to make the first move, she will have the decency to let you know how she really feels, and there is no real way you can change that significantly one way or the other, short of being outright creepy, which won't help. I've had about four relationships I've dug out of said zone by just leveling with the girl on how I feel. They WANT someone to be that confidant, honest, and upfront with them. Seriously. Sometimes it's that easy. Worst case, vodka does give you the Fearless USR. I'm just sayin'.
And for God's sake, don't look to internet articles for advice!
Ma55ter_fett wrote:You could try copping a feel while she sleeps.
That ought to get you out of the "friend" zone pretty quick, one way or the other.
Which body part do you want me to "cop"?
copping a feel = slang for grabbing her jugs, though if you want to take a snatch at something else go ahead.
HA HA HA... inappropriate hand placement
Don't follow his orders.
If anything do not touch her face it creeps them out unless if you are checking to see if they got hurt from someone trying to hurt them. Which I did
Asherian Command wrote:
How Sad. If you actually look for this sentence for advice.
See, and here is the awkward part: Does the daemonically possessed coconut head I'm too scared to try to throw away count as sentience, cause it's the one that said that.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:though if you want to take a snatch at something else go ahead.
Ma55ter_fett wrote:You could try copping a feel while she sleeps.
That ought to get you out of the "friend" zone pretty quick, one way or the other.
Which body part do you want me to "cop"?
copping a feel = slang for grabbing her jugs, though if you want to take a snatch at something else go ahead.
HA HA HA... inappropriate hand placement
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
Asherian Command wrote: How Sad. If you actually look for this sentence for advice.
See, and here is the awkward part: Does the daemonically possessed coconut head I'm too scared to try to throw away count as sentience, cause it's the one that said that.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Ma55ter_fett wrote:though if you want to take a snatch at something else go ahead.
Cheesecat wrote:
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
"Oh. Is that a problem?"
-Usually depends on the level of intoxication and just how quickly she says something, but surprisingly awesome when you can muster enough arrogance to pull it off.
Cheesecat wrote:
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
"Oh. Is that a problem?"
-Usually depends on the level of intoxication and just how quickly she says something, but surprisingly awesome when you can muster enough arrogance to pull it off.
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Who me? No she was like....
"WHAT THE HELL!"
I said sorry. And I said I missed. And a girl that knew me well Gibbs slapped me for my stupidty.
And the Girl said "Its Fine, just don't do that when I don't want you too." I hit on her like 5 times already. But that was last year. Not this year.
Cheesecat wrote:
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
"Oh. Is that a problem?"
-Usually depends on the level of intoxication and just how quickly she says something, but surprisingly awesome when you can muster enough arrogance to pull it off.
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Just say that you've gotten used to it after playing football.
"Oh, I'm sorry, its just that after *clear throat* seasons of playing football it just feels so natural."
daedalus wrote:And for God's sake, don't look to internet articles for advice!
The internet not only helps me get laid on a regular basis, it also helps me with new tricks to use while in said position. Granted it's my overwhelming Charisma that seals it and... skills that make it enjoyable, but good articles can give you an "aid another" for lack of a better term
daedalus wrote:And for God's sake, don't look to internet articles for advice!
The internet not only helps me get laid on a regular basis, it also helps me with new tricks to use while in said position. Granted it's my overwhelming Charisma that seals it and... skills that make it enjoyable, but good articles can give you an "aid another" for lack of a better term
The more posts of yours I read the more I realize why you want to have yourself "fixed."
Cheesecat wrote:
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
"Oh. Is that a problem?"
-Usually depends on the level of intoxication and just how quickly she says something, but surprisingly awesome when you can muster enough arrogance to pull it off.
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Well with this girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into I microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead.
Cheesecat wrote:
I've been there done that with her although, I was actually trying to rest my arm on her abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she qucikly told me I was
touching her boobs so I lowered it to my intended location.
"Oh. Is that a problem?"
-Usually depends on the level of intoxication and just how quickly she says something, but surprisingly awesome when you can muster enough arrogance to pull it off.
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Just say that you've gotten used to it after playing football.
"Oh, I'm sorry, its just that after *clear throat* seasons of playing football it just feels so natural."
I am soccer, rugby, and martial artist. That doesn't work with me.
But I did tell her if she faintied I would perform unnecessary CPR on her. I said. "Girl, if you faint right now, I would spend more than 2 breaths on you." *BAM!*
Cheesecat wrote:
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Well with this girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into I microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead.
Yeah. At this point, it's getting into Anime level amounts of "ironic" awkwardness. Do yourself and this thread a favour, and just talk to her. It'll either work out or it won't, but there's not much you can do to change the outcome other than just to force it to occur.
Cheesecat wrote:
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Well with this girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into I microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead.
Yeah. At this point, it's getting into Anime level amounts of "ironic" awkwardness. Do yourself and this thread a favour, and just talk to her. It'll either work out or it won't, but there's not much you can do to change the outcome other than just to force it to occur.
ok.....
Automatically Appended Next Post: What the? Thread die or something?
Cheesecat wrote:
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidently hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Well with this girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into I microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead.
Yeah. At this point, it's getting into Anime level amounts of "ironic" awkwardness. Do yourself and this thread a favour, and just talk to her. It'll either work out or it won't, but there's not much you can do to change the outcome other than just to force it to occur.
ok.....
Automatically Appended Next Post: What the? Thread die or something?
Well there's not much more that can be said in this thread without going off-topic, pretty much all the advice has been told and it's now time for me to make a decision and I already have, I'm taking Cannerus's advice. Anyways I plan on starting
a thread on "clumsiness around the opposite gender" as it seem like an interesting topic and lots of people seem to have stories they want to share.
Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Damn
Not trying to be a donkey-cave it's just your girl problems, are seriously unrelated to my thread about escaping the "Friend Zone".
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Damn
Not trying to be a donkey-cave it's just your girl problems, are seriously unrelated to my thread about escaping the "Friend Zone".
Well thats true. I can see that. As I am trying to get back into the friend zone.
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Damn
Not trying to be a donkey-cave it's just your girl problems, are seriously unrelated to my thread about escaping the "Friend Zone".
Well thats true. I can see that. As I am trying to get back into the friend zone.
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Damn
Not trying to be a donkey-cave it's just your girl problems, are seriously unrelated to my thread about escaping the "Friend Zone".
Well thats true. I can see that. As I am trying to get back into the friend zone.
What are you waiting for, start your own thread!
Can't! it's 9:57. Time for me to go to bed! I am off!
Asherian Command wrote:Well I still need my advice. I don't know when I can talk to my girl, I know a few of her friends. I think it would be creepy if I asked for the girl i likes phone number from her friends.
I Don't know where I could met her. I don't know if we could work together. I don't know anything really except about her and her personality and I still don't know if she likes me as we did have a internet talk for a while until one of my dumbass computer pals took matters into his own hands and sent her an email through my account. And she must of freaked because she turned off her account.
Start your own thread that way you don't derail mine. Besides mine should be dead soon, I have more than enough advice on how to handle the situation.
Damn
Not trying to be a donkey-cave it's just your girl problems, are seriously unrelated to my thread about escaping the "Friend Zone".
Well thats true. I can see that. As I am trying to get back into the friend zone.
What are you waiting for, start your own thread!
Can't! it's 9:57. Time for me to go to bed! I am off!
If want some REAL advice, get a family member that is close to you, and married or at least engaged. Just ask 'em what to do, and tell 'em your situation.
rubiksnoob wrote:This thread is an abomination upon the internet, and that is saying something.
And why do you think that? I'm genuinely curious.
Honestly dude, instead of looking for solutions to your personal problems on the internet, just go out there and face them.
The latter is almost inevitable, whether I want it to happen or not. And honestly there's nothing wrong with asking for help or life advice from someone who's more experienced than myself.
rubiksnoob wrote:This thread is an abomination upon the internet, and that is saying something.
And why do you think that? I'm genuinely curious.
Honestly dude, instead of looking for solutions to your personal problems on the internet, just go out there and face them.
The latter is almost inevitable, whether I want it to happen or not. And honestly there's nothing wrong with asking for help or life advice from someone who's more experienced than myself.
Anyways I said I "liked" her on one of my hang-outs which, you're not supposed to do when you're trying to escape
So DakkaDakka, I ask you what is your advice on escaping the "Friend Zone"? 
I'll give you my game plan later. 
)
Anyways so far my adventures in breaking the "touch barrier" have had mixed results sometimes she seems to enjoy it, laughing and smiling other times she gets all tense and nervous, there's also the
Besides it's not like I don't have experience in losing her.
so I lowered it to my intended location.