Here's a thread where you can discuss moments you've shared with a member of the opposite gender, that meant to be intended well but instead you put yourself in complete embarrassment.I'll start off with a few stories from my previous thread
"I was actually trying to rest my arm on this girl I liked abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she quickly told me I was touching her boobs so I lowered it to my
intended location."
and
"Well with the same girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into a microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead."
I can offer some awkard moments, which are embarrassing after the fact.
My future wife had the hots for me, real bad, we met whilst studying for a degree with the OU, whilst on summer school.
Firstly, we had to watch a film, she sat next to me and in the darkened auditorium she kept rubbing her leg against mine, thinking she needed more space...I moved over.
Next time round she invited me up to her dorm room I was puzzled by the looks her friends gave me as I said goodnight and left, alone, for my own room.
We shared a pizza for lunch, her leg kept banging against mine....I moved away to give her more space.......
She resorted to flashing herself at me.....Politely I turned away.....
I had to be told, on the last evening that she liked me.
Alternatively; Me and an ex broke for some air and found two steaming cups of tea by the side of my bed...left by my Mum.
Alternatively; Me and an ex broke for some air and found two steaming cups of tea by the side of my bed...left by my Mum.
This one still worries me.
I have heard a similar anecdote related by a young man who was 'relaxing in a gentleman's way' only to open his eyes and find a cup of tea next to his bed...
Alternatively; Me and an ex broke for some air and found two steaming cups of tea by the side of my bed...left by my Mum.
This one still worries me.
I have heard a similar anecdote related by a young man who was 'relaxing in a gentleman's way' only to open his eyes and find a cup of tea next to his bed...
My mother has also, in the past, walked in and attempted to hoover my room and has also asked my wife what our sex life was like.
Mr. Burning wrote:I can offer some awkard moments, which are embarrassing after the fact.
My future wife had the hots for me, real bad, we met whilst studying for a degree with the OU, whilst on summer school.
Firstly, we had to watch a film, she sat next to me and in the darkened auditorium she kept rubbing her leg against mine, thinking she needed more space...I moved over.
Next time round she invited me up to her dorm room I was puzzled by the looks her friends gave me as I said goodnight and left, alone, for my own room.
We shared a pizza for lunch, her leg kept banging against mine....I moved away to give her more space.......
She resorted to flashing herself at me.....Politely I turned away.....
I had to be told, on the last evening that she liked me.
Alternatively; Me and an ex broke for some air and found two steaming cups of tea by the side of my bed...left by my Mum.
This one still worries me.
Wow we must be related somehow. I was the same way when I was a teen. I know NOW they were sexual advances, but then sheesh was I oblivious. I worked with an African female before that was just awesome. I didnt realize then, that she wanted this king of crackers something fierce. I too thought the advances were something totally different.
My boss from a different job too. She would tell me just randomly that "most married women would cheat in a heart beat on their husbands" and then give me that sexy pose. Same thing, "oh yea? Thats weird, I dont understand that, why get married then" then wander off
Then I met my wife and it was still bad. My fave was we were sitting on a swing on a porch, and it was night time soa bit cold. She tells me how cold she is and even does the exaggerated shiver, so awesome me, "OH let me get you a blanket" instead of being suave and holding her
Wakeing up in the morning with a trange woman in your bed. You roll over and look at her, she wakes up and looks at you and smiles. The first words out of your mouth are, Who are You?
Staying at a female friends house, who doesn't have a spare room and lets you kip in with her. Waking up in the morning and nudging her with yer.. ahem... morning glory.
Catyrpelius wrote:Wakeing up in the morning with a trange woman in your bed. You roll over and look at her, she wakes up and looks at you and smiles. The first words out of your mouth are, Who are You?
Alright another story back in grade 8 my brother and I are wrestling anyways, I trip over the rug and pulled a muscle in my right arm. During this week we were doing dancing for PE so I'm holding my partner around the waistline, but because I get
spasms of pain when lifting my right arm I would have to lower my arm at around bum level in order for the pain to stop needless to say, she did not buy my excuse and pretty much every girl in the gym thought I was a pervert after they had a
Cheesecat wrote:Alright another story back in grade 8 my brother and I are wrestling anyways, I trip over the rug and pulled a muscle in my right arm. during this week we were doing dancing for PE so I'm holding my partner around the waistline, but because I get
spasms of pain when lifting my right arm I would have to lower my arm at around bum level in order for the pain to stop needless to say, she did not buy my excuse and pretty much every girl in the gym thought I was a pervert after they had a
Cheesecat wrote:Alright another story back in grade 8 my brother and I are wrestling anyways, I trip over the rug and pulled a muscle in my right arm. during this week we were doing dancing for PE so I'm holding my partner around the waistline, but because I get
spasms of pain when lifting my right arm I would have to lower my arm at around bum level in order for the pain to stop needless to say, she did not buy my excuse and pretty much every girl in the gym thought I was a pervert after they had a
dance with me.
But you are a pervert!
Yeah I know, but very few girls find that part of my personality appealing or at least tolerable.
I think ive drank too much and pissed the bed with about 8 different women, thats never good.
I also gak myself once, but that was my current missus and we had been going out a while, so oddly it was much less embarrassing.
You know.. in that she is fully aware that i have a drink problem, and not "why is this man i just met doing this? Is he a pervert/does he have medical issues" sorta thing.
mattyrm wrote:I think ive drank too much and pissed the bed with about 8 different women, thats never good.
I also gak myself once, but that was my current missus and we had been going out a while, so oddly it was much less embarrassing.
You know.. in that she is fully aware that i have a drink problem, and not "why is this man i just met doing this? Is he a pervert/does he have medical issues" sorta thing.
Sanctjud wrote:SlaveToDorkness, it's also known as Friends with Benefits...
I have a modivational poster somewhere...
It's not FWB til you've gotten something that ends in the word "job."
Catyrpelius wrote:Wakeing up in the morning with a trange woman in your bed. You roll over and look at her, she wakes up and looks at you and smiles. The first words out of your mouth are, Who are You?
In a similar vein (though not related to the OPPOSITE sex ), there are a few times I've been with guys who "only liked girls" and we became innebriated enough to prove otherwise. You wake up the next day and have to remember what happened and then get that awkward "sooo, I'm cool with what went down, but I assume I'm never speaking of this again?" to which the answer is most always an emphatic yes
Somewhat recently I made a sexual joke with a female friend of mine which doubled as an invitation to become FWB. She responded with something like "I see you as a friend and I also have to worry about STDs." I was a little offended at the latter and said it didn't matter to me and she knew I had relations with several of our mutual friends and I assured her that I was clean in an indignant tone. She then began oversharing about how she wasn't clean and her abusive ex has given her something and became extremely emtional. That was fairly awkward. FWIW, she has since propositioned me twice and I completely ignore it. Cannerus does not give nor tolerate baggage.
Quick version: I got also got caught doing things with a female in a theater at a screening of Curious George. Also awkward.
In a similar vein (though not related to the OPPOSITE sex ), there are a few times I've been with guys who "only liked girls" and I sipped my drinks whilst throwing triples at them,until, they became innebriated enough to prove otherwise. You wake up the next day and have to remember what happened and then get that awkward "sooo, I'm cool with what went down, but I assume I'm never speaking of this again?" to which the answer is most always an emphatic yes
In a similar vein (though not related to the OPPOSITE sex ), there are a few times I've been with guys who "only liked girls" and I sipped my drinks whilst throwing triples at them,until, they became innebriated enough to prove otherwise. You wake up the next day and have to remember what happened and then get that awkward "sooo, I'm cool with what went down, but I assume I'm never speaking of this again?" to which the answer is most always an emphatic yes
Fixed.
That made me laugh, and is probably closer to the truth
Or the ol "OK! 1 2 3 SHOTS!" and as they tip back, he tosses his on the floor. Same outcome either way
Sanctjud wrote:SlaveToDorkness, it's also known as Friends with Benefits...
I have a modivational poster somewhere...
It's not FWB til you've gotten something that ends in the word "job."
Catyrpelius wrote:Wakeing up in the morning with a trange woman in your bed. You roll over and look at her, she wakes up and looks at you and smiles. The first words out of your mouth are, Who are You?
In a similar vein (though not related to the OPPOSITE sex ), there are a few times I've been with guys who "only liked girls" and we became innebriated enough to prove otherwise. You wake up the next day and have to remember what happened and then get that awkward "sooo, I'm cool with what went down, but I assume I'm never speaking of this again?" to which the answer is most always an emphatic yes
Somewhat recently I made a sexual joke with a female friend of mine which doubled as an invitation to become FWB. She responded with something like "I see you as a friend and I also have to worry about STDs." I was a little offended at the latter and said it didn't matter to me and she knew I had relations with several of our mutual friends and I assured her that I was clean in an indignant tone. She then began oversharing about how she wasn't clean and her abusive ex has given her something and became extremely emtional. That was fairly awkward. FWIW, she has since propositioned me twice and I completely ignore it. Cannerus does not give nor tolerate baggage.
Quick version: I got also got caught doing things with a female in a theater at a screening of Curious George. Also awkward.
You should write a book "The Illustrious Sex Life of Cannerus_The_Unbearable."
Way back in my wacky teen aged years one girl I was "involved" with suggested I come pay her a visit in the wee morning hours.
I'd never been to her house before as I'd only met her a few weeks prior,but at 2 A.M. found myself creeping up to her house and knocking upon her window...only it wasn't her window...it was her parents window.
...Very awkward trying to explain my nocturnal visit to her fuming Father.
FITZZ wrote: Way back in my wacky teen aged years one girl I was "involved" with suggested I come pay her a visit in the wee morning hours.
I'd never been to her house before as I'd only met her a few weeks prior,but at 2 A.M. found myself creeping up to her house and knocking upon her window...only it wasn't her window...it was her parents window.
...Very awkward trying to explain my nocturnal visit to her fuming Father.
We would have just winged you with a shotgun. The weinerdogs like a little sport with their dinner...
FITZZ wrote: Way back in my wacky teen aged years one girl I was "involved" with suggested I come pay her a visit in the wee morning hours.
I'd never been to her house before as I'd only met her a few weeks prior,but at 2 A.M. found myself creeping up to her house and knocking upon her window...only it wasn't her window...it was her parents window.
...Very awkward trying to explain my nocturnal visit to her fuming Father.
We would have just winged you with a shotgun. The weinerdogs like a little sport with their dinner...
Fortunately for me,the young ladies father was more of the Liberal/Artsy type and not the Open fire and release the dogs type ...still got a pretty god chewing though.
FITZZ wrote:
Fortunately for me,the young ladies father was more of the Liberal/Artsy type and not the Open fire and release the dogs type ...still got a pretty god chewing though.
I should hope you did, for all that effort........................................................................................
FITZZ wrote:
Fortunately for me,the young ladies father was more of the Liberal/Artsy type and not the Open fire and release the dogs type ...still got a pretty god chewing though.
I should hope you did, for all that effort........................................................................................
That my friend is an entirely different story...and certainly not fit for a "family friendly" forum like Dakkas OT board.
@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.
@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.
I once bumped into a girl at a swimming pool and accidentally got her pregnant. Luckily, abortion is legal so everything worked out ok. Determining how to split the doctor's bill, now that was awkward.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.
@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.
More stories when I'm not at work!
You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!
Personally I too have a low threshold, Though I make it worse (or better depends on your point of view when you drink with me) by hitting the top shelf as soon a I hit the bar. I say its a low threshold, I'm usually standing by the time the rest move onto tequila slammers and i can pace myself, but I have been known to enter a bar after work and be rotten by 7.30pm and then home to bed.
Although I don't realise I actually become very flirty when I am drunk, being naturally introverted this is quite amusing for some. It wasn't amusing in the past when, I made the right noises to my Exs best friend who was going out with MY best friend. I dint realise I was doing it, I did wonder why my ex was frosty with me and my mate had to be restrained a few times.
I do this when I am sober as well, I guess its empathy, or some such, it has confused many wimmins and angered quite a few of their boyfriends too. I still stand oblivious to the train wrecks I cause.
I should point out that I am no alcoholic and getting leathered whilst the pubs are still empty is not a normal occurance.
Cheesecat wrote:Here's a thread where you can discuss moments you've shared with a member of the opposite gender, that meant to be intended well but instead you put yourself in complete embarrassment.I'll start off with a few stories from my previous thread
"I was actually trying to rest my arm on this girl I liked abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she quickly told me I was touching her boobs so I lowered it to my
intended location."
and
"Well with the same girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into a microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead."
Where the hell did you grow up cheesecat? an episode of Tenchi Muyo?
As far as I'm aware, I have been totally oblivious to about 80% of flirting that goes on around me, however haven't had to worry so much as I've been with my girlfriend for the past 6 years.
Mr. Burning: If you want to see more, please stop by the Tavern Games over at 40K Online... ... I would say akward is putting it lightly. A small preview... um... I'm a Pedobear fan over there...
So I had 'relations' with my currant Girl friend whilst I was going out with my previous Girl friend. That was a fun experience when the former found out.
So, yesterday I wake up at 5:00am (as you do), and look out of my window (as one also does ) to see this girl across the street about my age staring at me. Now, as I am one of those people who are incredily abusive and grumpy when I first wake up, I first ask her (yep, I am LOUD in the morning as well-rising from 'the black pit' as my sister puts it is always interesting when I'm around ) what she's doing and why she's staring, before getting rther...irritable when she won't stop. And yes, I will admit that I said some things that I'm not proud of out of her earshot. I met her later on in the day, and by that time was carmed down enough to ask her why she was staring at me in a more civil manner. You can probably see where this is heading.
Back when I was in 2nd grade I accidently grabbed a girls butt. We were in line to go to lunch, and she was talking to her friend, so I tried to push her with the palm of my hand. I didn't bring my hand up far enough fast enough. I had to endure the mandatory 5 weeks of people pointing and going "na-na-na-na-na!" without the possibility of parole
ghosty wrote:So I had 'relations' with my currant Girl friend whilst I was going out with my previous Girl friend. That was a fun experience when the former found out.
Well... could you possibly talk them into a manage et twa?
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.
@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.
More stories when I'm not at work!
You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!
As long as I stay away from my phone and am not allowed to text anyone, I'm cool when I get innebriated I tend to get really mushy if I mix weed and alcohol to the point that I start telling everyone how much I love them and how awesome they are and how I'd totally go down on them and not ask for anything in return XD It's not gotten me into any trouble that I didn't want to be in yet. And I tend to get a drink, then grab someone else's empty glass and let it sit next to mine. I also let people sip off mine to give the illusion that I've had more to drink.
@leigen: Amazing.
One more and I'll try to keep this from getting too far, though feel free to edit me if it turns otherwise.
Manchu says: You just found the line. Or rather, you might have glimpsed it as you blasted past it at Mach 5. This sort of thing can stay on the Lady Gaga forum you mention below please!
Just throwing it out there, but the Gaga forums I'm on have an amazing adult section the requires mod approval to be allowed entry. I think that would be fantastic here! Failing Dakka wanting to tarnish their image we could always start another forum just for dirty, filthy, wonderful things.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@Ma55ter_fett: Lol, I'm getting there. One of my current hook ups has much crazier stories than I do though.
@the drinking comment: My tolerances are still terrible be it smoking or drinking so it's nearly impossible for me to do that, not that I've ever tried I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.
More stories when I'm not at work!
You see Can' the trick is to 'appear to be drinking' tolerance means nothing when your glass is full of water!
As long as I stay away from my phone and am not allowed to text anyone, I'm cool when I get innebriated I tend to get really mushy if I mix weed and alcohol to the point that I start telling everyone how much I love them and how awesome they are and how I'd totally go down on them and not ask for anything in return XD It's not gotten me into any trouble that I didn't want to be in yet. And I tend to get a drink, then grab someone else's empty glass and let it sit next to mine. I also let people sip off mine to give the illusion that I've had more to drink.
@leigen: Amazing.
One more and I'll try to keep this from getting too far, though feel free to edit me if it turns otherwise.
Manchu says: You just found the line. Or rather, you might have glimpsed it as you blasted past it at Mach 5. This sort of thing can stay on the Lady Gaga forum you mention below please!
Just throwing it out there, but the Gaga forums I'm on have an amazing adult section the requires mod approval to be allowed entry. I think that would be fantastic here! Failing Dakka wanting to tarnish their image we could always start another forum just for dirty, filthy, wonderful things.
You sir, just joined the Red Wings, and Im not talking the hockey team
To some people on this site the above statement^ will bring a sense of great exclusiveness.
I don't think it's necessary I can almost say anything I want on DakkaDakka without breaking the rules. And anything that is more risque I just use metaphors, subtlety and vague descriptions to get the image across although, I still wish the mods
Don't worry I have heard worse. I accidentally hit a girls ass and I meant to be her back...... Yeah it was the Girl I liked. Note to self never do that again. It was something she did that I was congratulating her on and It went to far down low. Yep.
Another time with the same girl I accidentally asked her if she liked me through the internet and I told her that I am her to help her in more than 3 ways. Sometimes I applaud my stupidity
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Once you've tasted the freedom of being able to post pictures of bisected genitals without a language filter, you'll never be the same
I know where to go if I want to find that stuff and Dakka couldn't really handle my perverse imagination without me getting a ban, so I get my words across in a "Family-Friendly" manner instead.
Oh Come on dakka dakka! WE play with toy soldiers AT LEAST HALF of you have a story or 45 of them.
Don't tell me you had to explain the hobby to a girl before.
Asherian Command wrote:Oh Come on dakka dakka! WE play with toy soldiers AT LEAST HALF of you have a story or 45 of them.
Don't tell me you had to explain the hobby to a girl before.
My ex was interested in my hobby, she wanted to get closer to me I suppose.
It went down hill when I started collecting 3rd ed Eldar, she left for a real man...
Another tale of mine comes from way back in my school days.
Being poor and having a mother who thought growing onto things would be best I had to wear trousers that, were cheaply made and were too big. One consequence of this was that my zipper area bulged when ever I sat down. One Class we had to watch Romeo and Juliet, relaxing in the classroom I was aware of some tittering, slumped in my chair I realised that I had what looked like an erection. The girls around me were horrified.
I made things worse by trying to hide the tent by rubbing the front of my trousers whining 'its not a hard on, see!' Cue many many years of jokes at my expense.
Automatically Appended Next Post: When On an escalator I do, sometimes lock my gaze on a particularly pleasant pair of breasts, either on lower steps or looking over the railings etc.
Been caught looking a few times but I'm sure quickly looking away whilst whistling covers my tracks.
Mr. Burning wrote:
Automatically Appended Next Post: When On an escalator I do, sometimes lock my gaze on a particularly pleasant pair of breasts, either on lower steps or looking over the railings etc.
Been caught looking a few times but I'm sure quickly looking away whilst whistling covers my tracks.
Working at Dillards (a department store) on the men's floor we would get extremely bored when there were no customers around and, being mostly guys, we'd stare at the women who were walking upstairs to the appropriate department. There are a few tricks here. One of my favorites involves continuing to stare, but allowing your stare to become absent if they (or their boyfriend!) notice. That way you're still staring at the same spot and it looks like you're just zoned out There's also the trick of looking like we were trying to count customers. Just hold a piece of paper and pen then if someone sees you staring you write something down. I'll see if I can remember any more later.
Mr. Burning wrote:
Automatically Appended Next Post: When On an escalator I do, sometimes lock my gaze on a particularly pleasant pair of breasts, either on lower steps or looking over the railings etc.
Been caught looking a few times but I'm sure quickly looking away whilst whistling covers my tracks.
Working at Dillards (a department store) on the men's floor we would get extremely bored when there were no customers around and, being mostly guys, we'd stare at the women who were walking upstairs to the appropriate department. There are a few tricks here. One of my favorites involves continuing to stare, but allowing your stare to become absent if they (or their boyfriend!) notice. That way you're still staring at the same spot and it looks like you're just zoned out There's also the trick of looking like we were trying to count customers. Just hold a piece of paper and pen then if someone sees you staring you write something down. I'll see if I can remember any more later.
Mr. Burning wrote:
Automatically Appended Next Post: When On an escalator I do, sometimes lock my gaze on a particularly pleasant pair of breasts, either on lower steps or looking over the railings etc.
Been caught looking a few times but I'm sure quickly looking away whilst whistling covers my tracks.
Working at Dillards (a department store) on the men's floor we would get extremely bored when there were no customers around and, being mostly guys, we'd stare at the women who were walking upstairs to the appropriate department. There are a few tricks here. One of my favorites involves continuing to stare, but allowing your stare to become absent if they (or their boyfriend!) notice. That way you're still staring at the same spot and it looks like you're just zoned out There's also the trick of looking like we were trying to count customers. Just hold a piece of paper and pen then if someone sees you staring you write something down. I'll see if I can remember any more later.
This information should be taught at school.
I agree with this true statement.
Another thing that happened to me was this one time a girl asked me exactly what i was reading. And I said, "Uhh. The Art of War."
It turned into a very awkward situation as she literally had no idea how to reply to that and we were the only two in the room and it was dreadfuly quite and I looked at her with a raised eyebrow wondering if she was going to answer or reply. She just looked into space trying to think of something. Then I finally said, "Wow you seem like a girl who is a med-evil peasant and found out the world isn't flat."
Note NEVER SAY THAT! EVER! She looked at me and said, "WTF?"
Alright, another story my Grade 10 art class was small and cramped with large tables instead of separate desks anyways, I sat at the edge of the table with a girl sitting about a foot behind me at another table. Being very tired I stretched out my
arms and yawned, I almost extended may arm completely but I was stopped by something round and soft, I then hear the girl say "Did that kid just touch my ass?".
Cheesecat wrote:Alright, another story my Grade 10 art class was small and cramped with large tables instead of separate desks anyways, I sat at the edge of the table with a girl sitting about a foot behind me at another table. Being very tired I stretched out my
arms and yawned, I almost extended may arm completely but I was stopped by something round and soft, I then hear the girl say "Did that kid just touch my ass?".
Cheesecat wrote:Alright, another story my Grade 10 art class was small and cramped with large tables instead of separate desks anyways, I sat at the edge of the table with a girl sitting about a foot behind me at another table. Being very tired I stretched out my
arms and yawned, I almost extended may arm completely but I was stopped by something round and soft, I then hear the girl say "Did that kid just touch my ass?".
Was she hot? If so it was worth it!
She was kind of cute, but definitely agreed it was worth it, besides it's not like I'm going to feth her anytime soon so why should I care what she thinks?
First day of college, and there was a gigantic meeting in the auditorium, separated by majors. We were all separated by people we'd be taking classes with for the next 4 years--some of which I might've worked with, or under, in a school. One of them is a girl I've known since pre-school, and had a bad crush on. She dated the center of the football team in high school, so I let it be.
My cell phone rings as I'm standing next to her. First words out of my mouth are "AH! There's something vibrating, and it's in my pants!"
Hmmm... lets see.... well, there was this one girl in high school who I had a monster crush on... she straddled me one day while it was just the two of us in class waiting for others to show up. I totally fethed up that one, thought she was just teasing me, etc... oh well.
And then well... recent memory hurts real bad, lets just say that I dragged my feet too long.
These made me lol =) heres my list no in particular order
1. Picked up at the local took my new friend home and then vomited on the poor girl about 10 seconds before I errrr unleashed the dogs of war (she didnt call me back funny that)
2. Woke up next to what I am fairly sure was an incarnation of nurgle but with better hygiene.
3. Been caught punishing my unit by my girlfriends more times then I can remember
4. numerous bodily fluids mishaps
5. numerous instances of the little general failing to salute due to alcohol
There is a bunch more dosent matter If they are hawt or ugly I will find a way to screw gak up =)
Okay, not the most awkward, but I and a friend were both at a summer camp in Colorado. Now, remember that me and my friend are both the dorky, quite type, and pretty much all the the other guys there were the jock, rap music type. Me and my friend always ended sitting at the girls' table, because we had nowhere else to sit. Naturally, there was virtually no conversation at THAT table, no sir. Then, we went white-water rafting on rafts that held 8 people, plus the guide. Naturally, I and my friend ("the dorky duo") ended up being the only two guys in one of the boats. Now, we were going over safety procedures, like what to do when the boat starts to tilt to the side. I was a rower, so I sat on the right front edge, next to an (older) girl, and my friend also sat on the left front edge, and an older girl was next to him. Joy of hoys, it turns out that, when the boat starts to capsize, we were all supposed to pile to the opposite edge of the boat, which meant that I would either end up being smothered by two (good looking) older girls, OR I would end up on TOP of those same two girls...Most awkward moment of my life...
Accidently setting a girls science project on fire.
Having to have a girl explain to me what 'turning on' ang 'get in there actually ment.
A situation similar to ChaosOmega's, but my reaction was to run and Gears of war roll out the door (to be fair, in sexual situations I kind of have an excuse).
Asking a girl who died after her Grandfather died.
There was one more, but it's a little...unsuitabel for Dakka.
I had one with a girl that used to have one hell of a crush on me. I mean calls at night, she would stand in certain poses, scrape against me while dancing and on one occasion got on her knees in front of me with her tongue hanging out making weird moany noises and zipping my fly up because she noticed it was down then looking at me for a long while before getting back up. (I have had a GF for 5 years, this was 3 years ago so I tried explaining, don't think she cared)
During work I came out of the forest for a break (I was a paint-ball Marshall) and went to the staff hut for my sandwiches and found my friend in there cradling her shoulder, she had been shot and was acting like it was the end of the world. So she asked if I could check if she was bruised I said okay.
Let me make it clear I was expecting to move her sleeve or neck of the top to look at the shoulder.
But ohhh no she had different ideas, within seconds of me saying yes and moving to grab the sleeve, she whipped off her top and turns round, the top gets caught in my hand and then the worst of it all, the door swings open and in comes my boss.
There was me looking like I was trying to grope my friend while she was topless (wearing a bra) and looking like she was about to cry. I died a little inside that day I had the look that changed from 'OMG X's boobs to OMFG my boss to ... feth! This looks horribly wrong and bad'.
Tried to explain it to my GF that night and it did not go down to well either.
syanticraven wrote:I had one with a girl that used to have one hell of a crush on me. I mean calls at night, she would stand in certain poses, scrape against me while dancing and on one occasion got on her knees in front of me with her tongue hanging out making weird moany noises and zipping my fly up because she noticed it was down then looking at me for a long while before getting back up. (I have had a GF for 5 years, this was 3 years ago so I tried explaining, don't think she cared)
During work I came out of the forest for a break (I was a paint-ball Marshall) and went to the staff hut for my sandwiches and found my friend in there cradling her shoulder, she had been shot and was acting like it was the end of the world. So she asked if I could check if she was bruised I said okay.
Let me make it clear I was expecting to move her sleeve or neck of the top to look at the shoulder.
But ohhh no she had different ideas, within seconds of me saying yes and moving to grab the sleeve, she whipped off her top and turns round, the top gets caught in my hand and then the worst of it all, the door swings open and in comes my boss.
There was me looking like I was trying to grope my friend while she was topless (wearing a bra) and looking like she was about to cry. I died a little inside that day I had the look that changed from 'OMG X's boobs to OMFG my boss to ... feth! This looks horribly wrong and bad'.
Tried to explain it to my GF that night and it did not go down to well either.
Damned if you do explain and very damned if you don't!
syanticraven wrote:I had one with a girl that used to have one hell of a crush on me. I mean calls at night, she would stand in certain poses, scrape against me while dancing and on one occasion got on her knees in front of me with her tongue hanging out making weird moany noises and zipping my fly up because she noticed it was down then looking at me for a long while before getting back up. (I have had a GF for 5 years, this was 3 years ago so I tried explaining, don't think she cared)
During work I came out of the forest for a break (I was a paint-ball Marshall) and went to the staff hut for my sandwiches and found my friend in there cradling her shoulder, she had been shot and was acting like it was the end of the world. So she asked if I could check if she was bruised I said okay.
Let me make it clear I was expecting to move her sleeve or neck of the top to look at the shoulder.
But ohhh no she had different ideas, within seconds of me saying yes and moving to grab the sleeve, she whipped off her top and turns round, the top gets caught in my hand and then the worst of it all, the door swings open and in comes my boss.
There was me looking like I was trying to grope my friend while she was topless (wearing a bra) and looking like she was about to cry. I died a little inside that day I had the look that changed from 'OMG X's boobs to OMFG my boss to ... feth! This looks horribly wrong and bad'.
Tried to explain it to my GF that night and it did not go down to well either.
Damned if you do explain and very damned if you don't!
One of my buddies at college totally blew it with a hot young thing to die for.
He played his Nintendo whilst she was there,she asked if he would be needing the contents of a square foil wrapped package stamped durex.
In mid killer Instinct combo he allegedly replied, 'I have some chewing gum, thanks'.
One of my landlords many, seemingly daily, conquests confided to me that she was too sore from the night before and that he should expect alternative enjoyments if she could see him again.
And damn, boys and their nintendo's eh?
Should buy him these >
Spoiler:
I had a friend in uni that he was so drunk he stopped a girl giving him head because he 'felt as if his morals where in the wrong place' so went to go find them -literally searching for them.
There was one gal I met on a dating site like 10 years ago. We met at some diner and were enjoying our burgers and she asked what kind of hobbies I have... went something like this ..
me: well, I like to paint and stuff
her: like pictures with oil paints?
me: um, no I paint army men and use them in a game
her: ... a game? like chess?
me: kinda, it's like chess but you make your own pieces
her: oh...
10 minutes later, after a slightly uncomfortable silence she starts laughing
her: Army men? really?
me: yeah, it's a fun creative hobby
her: oh, ok...
another 10 minutes and longer uncomfortable silence
her: so when you play with your army men, do you make little laser beam sounds when they fight?
me: well I don't but I'm sure some people do....
her: wow, that's really nerdy.
We left soon after. Needless to say, I never spoke to her again
I was going through a lean patch. I had my own house, nothing fancy 2up 2 down terraced.
Theres this girl, who I fancied looked like melinda messenger.
So she seems upset, and asks to stay at my house.
Aye up I thought, I'm in here .
Where in bed, having a cuddle, and things are warming up nicely. Then all of a sudden Theres someone banging at my door.
So I walk into the front bedroom and look out the window.
Theres another friend of mine (who's also a girl) standing in the rain.
Paul can I stay the night, I'm locked out and my parents are on holiday.
Oh sh*t!!! ok you can sleep in the front bedroom. Says I.
O cant I sleep with you? she asks.
No that beds full.
So off I trot back to bed to pick up where I left off .
And things were going well, when in comes the second girl and gets in bed with us.
Now don't get me wrong this could have been heaven . Except the first girl goes cold as ice on me. The second girl was interested, but I didn't want to screw my future chances with the first one.
So another wasted night
loki old fart wrote:I was going through a lean patch. I had my own house, nothing fancy 2up 2 down terraced.
Theres this girl, who I fancied looked like melinda messenger.
So she seems upset, and asks to stay at my house.
Aye up I thought, I'm in here .
Where in bed, having a cuddle, and things are warming up nicely. Then all of a sudden Theres someone banging at my door.
So I walk into the front bedroom and look out the window.
Theres another friend of mine (who's also a girl) standing in the rain.
Paul can I stay the night, I'm locked out and my parents are on holiday.
Oh sh*t!!! ok you can sleep in the front bedroom. Says I.
O cant I sleep with you? she asks.
No that beds full.
So off I trot back to bed to pick up where I left off .
And things were going well, when in comes the second girl and gets in bed with us.
Now don't get me wrong this could have been heaven . Except the first girl goes cold as ice on me. The second girl was interested, but I didn't want to screw my future chances with the first one.
So another wasted night
This is why I should move to the UK, this just doesnt happen to me in the states
I don't see how liking someone's body is any more dishonorable than liking their personality. People fall in and out of emotional attachment all the time, so why can't consenting adults do what they want without being judged by others forcing their standards onto them? I'm actually asking this.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:I don't see how liking someone's body is any more dishonorable than liking their personality. People fall in and out of emotional attachment all the time, so why can't consenting adults do what they want without being judged by others forcing their standards onto them? I'm actually asking this.
Because then we British would have nothing to moan about.
And just because that is how life is. Any 'instinct' like behaviour we have is usually judged that way: Run when danger: A coward, Fight when threatened: A brute, mate with no ties: Whore/Player.
Seriously there are many biological arguments for picking someone on their looks it is just societies stick up the ass attitude that forces it's self on us.
Cheesecat wrote:Here's a thread where you can discuss moments you've shared with a member of the opposite gender, that meant to be intended well but instead you put yourself in complete embarrassment.I'll start off with a few stories from my previous thread
"I was actually trying to rest my arm on this girl I liked abdomen while sleeping with her (we had a sleep-over) but I placed my limb way too high up. Not noticing what I had done she quickly told me I was touching her boobs so I lowered it to my
intended location."
and
"Well with the same girl I've also titty smacked her when I was trying to help retie her bracelet for her, the string that holds it together snapped as I tried to make a knot the force causing the back of my hand to fly into her breasts. Also another time
when I was looking into a microscope I put my hand up to ask for the teacher and I didn't notice her leaning over me so I ended up grabbing her bosoms instead."
Where the hell did you grow up cheesecat? an episode of Tenchi Muyo?
As far as I'm aware, I have been totally oblivious to about 80% of flirting that goes on around me, however haven't had to worry so much as I've been with my girlfriend for the past 6 years.
cheesecat must have a magnet in his hand for boobies.
Automatically Appended Next Post: I once groped my teacher's butt while I was walking out of class (thankfully she wasn't horrendous looking). She was near the door and as I swung my arm she turned and BAM, booty. Turned out to be nothing, since I darted from the room so quickly that she probably understood it was an accident (at least that's what I tell myself )
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:I don't see how liking someone's body is any more dishonorable than liking their personality. People fall in and out of emotional attachment all the time, so why can't consenting adults do what they want without being judged by others forcing their standards onto them? I'm actually asking this.
I think people should be go after what attracts them, and pretending otherwise will most likely lead to failed relationships. So if you date the smart girl you think you should be with but find yourself constantly thinking about her friend’s massive boobs, bad things are probably going to end up happening.
But that goes the other way, and a lot of people feel like they need to date a pretty girl for their own ego. In time the ego boost goes away, and what’s left is a relationship with a person you don’t really like. Once again, bad things happen.
You’re certainly right that no-one should be judged for their choice in partners, but that doesn’t mean people can recognise other people making mistakes.
I had been seeing this girl for about a year. Good friends with her siblings for years before she and I hooked up. She had a 3yr old, around who they always refered to me as "Uncle [insert real name here]" ...which I always thought was a bad idea. One day the kid is down for the midafternoon nap and she and I decide to take advantage of the block of kid-free time. Long story short, while we were naked on the floor of the living room, her kid, who was apparently born with ninja like stealth, wakes up, gets out of bed, and spends an unknown amount of time silently standing in the corner watching his mom and "uncle" wrestle naked on the floor. We discovered him only after we were just finished. I shudder to think of the time in therapy that early wake up is gonna cost him.
loki old fart wrote:I was going through a lean patch. I had my own house, nothing fancy 2up 2 down terraced.
Theres this girl, who I fancied looked like melinda messenger.
So she seems upset, and asks to stay at my house.
Aye up I thought, I'm in here .
Where in bed, having a cuddle, and things are warming up nicely. Then all of a sudden Theres someone banging at my door.
So I walk into the front bedroom and look out the window.
Theres another friend of mine (who's also a girl) standing in the rain.
Paul can I stay the night, I'm locked out and my parents are on holiday.
Oh sh*t!!! ok you can sleep in the front bedroom. Says I.
O cant I sleep with you? she asks.
No that beds full.
So off I trot back to bed to pick up where I left off .
And things were going well, when in comes the second girl and gets in bed with us.
Now don't get me wrong this could have been heaven . Except the first girl goes cold as ice on me. The second girl was interested, but I didn't want to screw my future chances with the first one.
So another wasted night
Hmm... not sure if you handled that one correctly. Was the second girl less attractive than the first? About equal? or more attractive? Your responses should have gone in this order: No, leave. Sorry first girl, me and second girl are going to just cuddle a bit and... oh hello.... Sorry first girl, me and second girl are going to just cuddle a bit and... oh hello...
Action>>Maybe some action someday way down the line>>>>>No action
Anyway, I remembered another one for you all:
So, I'm sitting at lunch with a few of my buddies, and the cafeteria we're sitting at is packed, like no room to move. Me and my buddies are just sittin, shootin the gak, taking our time and enjoying something, and my buddy makes a wierd comment that I didn't really understand. So I say (repeating what I thought I heard) "What did you just say? Masturbating stunts penis growth?" My buddies naturally start laughing and joking around, and then I feel something behind me, like a laser boring into the back of my head with the hatred and fury of a thousand burning suns. So I take a glance behind me, and sure enough, a table of about 6 VERY attractive females have all turned to glare at me with a look of utter disgust. Worse yet, these are all girls that I had gone to high school with and had not seen in a couple of years...
loki old fart wrote:I was going through a lean patch. I had my own house, nothing fancy 2up 2 down terraced.
Theres this girl, who I fancied looked like melinda messenger.
So she seems upset, and asks to stay at my house.
Aye up I thought, I'm in here .
Where in bed, having a cuddle, and things are warming up nicely. Then all of a sudden Theres someone banging at my door.
So I walk into the front bedroom and look out the window.
Theres another friend of mine (who's also a girl) standing in the rain.
Paul can I stay the night, I'm locked out and my parents are on holiday.
Oh sh*t!!! ok you can sleep in the front bedroom. Says I.
O cant I sleep with you? she asks.
No that beds full.
So off I trot back to bed to pick up where I left off .
And things were going well, when in comes the second girl and gets in bed with us.
Now don't get me wrong this could have been heaven . Except the first girl goes cold as ice on me. The second girl was interested, but I didn't want to screw my future chances with the first one.
So another wasted night
Hmm... not sure if you handled that one correctly. Was the second girl less attractive than the first? About equal? or more attractive? Your responses should have gone in this order: No, leave. Sorry first girl, me and second girl are going to just cuddle a bit and... oh hello.... Sorry first girl, me and second girl are going to just cuddle a bit and... oh hello...
Action>>Maybe some action someday way down the line>>>>>No action
Anyway, I remembered another one for you all:
So, I'm sitting at lunch with a few of my buddies, and the cafeteria we're sitting at is packed, like no room to move. Me and my buddies are just sittin, shootin the gak, taking our time and enjoying something, and my buddy makes a wierd comment that I didn't really understand. So I say (repeating what I thought I heard) "What did you just say? Masturbating stunts penis growth?" My buddies naturally start laughing and joking around, and then I feel something behind me, like a laser boring into the back of my head with the hatred and fury of a thousand burning suns. So I take a glance behind me, and sure enough, a table of about 6 VERY attractive females have all turned to glare at me with a look of utter disgust. Worse yet, these are all girls that I had gone to high school with and had not seen in a couple of years...
Yeah, that was awkward...
Second girl was average looker, first girl was stunner
I have tried to talk to a girl for a long time and I keep forgetting to say sorry.
I was talking to a girl in the hallway. And I saw this really really hot girl. and I thought I said this in my mind but it came out like this "My god, you are beautiful! Are you single?"
Yep. The girl who i was talking to eyes widen and asked. "What her? Eh shes a b--ch."
Asherian Command wrote:I have tried to talk to a girl for a long time and I keep forgetting to say sorry.
I was talking to a girl in the hallway. And I saw this really really hot girl. and I thought I said this in my mind but it came out like this "My god, you are beautiful! Are you single?"
Yep. The girl who i was talking to eyes widen and asked. "What her? Eh shes a b--ch."
That sounds like me.
I was chasing a girl for a while back in high school, and one of my girl friends was telling me that she was a B--ch after I had tried to ask her to a dance.
Edit: Speaking of which, she was kind enough to dance with me when I asked her, but I quickly realized she didn't want to. She was kind enough to also stay the entire song with me....
I thought I'd bump this thread because I had a rather funny little translation problem last night... I was out with a girl from Lancaster and here in Australia pubs are often known as 'hotels' even if they do not have rooms to rent. Going to the local hotel usually means going to a bar. Get it?
Apparently they don't use this term in the UK.
So when Happy Hour ('cheap drinks after work' to avoid further confusion) ended at a certain bar I said to the lass, "I know a hotel we can go to."
I cannot talk to a girl without embarrasing myself, it is physically impossible. I will either stutter, forget what I was about to say or crack a strange joke. Sometimes I even ruin it by a using a word they don't understand (it's true, you tend to get stared at and asked 'What?' if you use something mildly more complex than the crap our current youth is spouting everywhere).
Perhaps I just pick the wrong girls to talk to, but there isn't really a lot of choice...
There's also flirting. I cannot fathom it. At all.
Arctik_Firangi wrote:I thought I'd bump this thread because I had a rather funny little translation problem last night... I was out with a girl from Lancaster and here in Australia pubs are often known as 'hotels' even if they do not have rooms to rent. Going to the local hotel usually means going to a bar. Get it?
Apparently they don't use this term in the UK.
So when Happy Hour ('cheap drinks after work' to avoid further confusion) ended at a certain bar I said to the lass, "I know a hotel we can go to."
I damn nearly got slapped there.
She was from Lancaster? She was probably up for a stand up in an alley way, the thought of a warm bed made her think you are after a LTR!
Most awkward moment was probably when this dude attempted to cyber with me-- just out of the blue, in public chat, without asking me first-- in second life, and tried to convince me to use some object that would do the motions or some crap like that. I think he was suspended shortly after or something, but goddamn was that weird... and creepy...
That was about four years ago... I don't play second life anymore.
(I have had awkward IRL moments, but few of them THAT awkward)
Avatar 720 wrote:I cannot talk to a girl without embarrasing myself, it is physically impossible. I will either stutter, forget what I was about to say or crack a strange joke. Sometimes I even ruin it by a using a word they don't understand (it's true, you tend to get stared at and asked 'What?' if you use something mildly more complex than the crap our current youth is spouting everywhere).
Perhaps I just pick the wrong girls to talk to, but there isn't really a lot of choice...
There's also flirting. I cannot fathom it. At all.
Hey now, if you find the right kinda girl, and keep up the shy demeanor, she might actually find it cute, and before ya know it, you have got yourself a great wife(just make sure she is the kinda girl that will stick with you in thick and thin, the world needs fewer divorces, affairs, and heartbreak) . You have just got to relax, and remind yourself that girls are just people with different bodies. It gets pretty easy after a while.
Melissia wrote:Most awkward moment was probably when this dude attempted to cyber with me-- just out of the blue, in public chat, without asking me first-- in second life, and tried to convince me to use some object that would do the motions or some crap like that. I think he was suspended shortly after or something, but goddamn was that weird... and creepy...
That was about four years ago... I don't play second life anymore.
(I have had awkward IRL moments, but few of them THAT awkward)
Wow that sounds vaguely firmly to one of the games I was in. But it was halo -.-. And they Did some really really wierd stuff.
Arctik_Firangi wrote:I thought I'd bump this thread because I had a rather funny little translation problem last night... I was out with a girl from Lancaster and here in Australia pubs are often known as 'hotels' even if they do not have rooms to rent. Going to the local hotel usually means going to a bar. Get it?
Apparently they don't use this term in the UK.
So when Happy Hour ('cheap drinks after work' to avoid further confusion) ended at a certain bar I said to the lass, "I know a hotel we can go to."
I damn nearly got slapped there.
She was from Lancaster? She was probably up for a stand up in an alley way, the thought of a warm bed made her think you are after a LTR!
This post is accurate. I mean really unnervingly accurate.
Arctik_Firangi wrote:I thought I'd bump this thread because I had a rather funny little translation problem last night... I was out with a girl from Lancaster and here in Australia pubs are often known as 'hotels' even if they do not have rooms to rent. Going to the local hotel usually means going to a bar. Get it?
Apparently they don't use this term in the UK.
So when Happy Hour ('cheap drinks after work' to avoid further confusion) ended at a certain bar I said to the lass, "I know a hotel we can go to."
I damn nearly got slapped there.
She was from Lancaster? She was probably up for a stand up in an alley way, the thought of a warm bed made her think you are after a LTR!
This post is accurate. I mean really unnervingly accurate.
Melissia wrote:Most awkward moment was probably when this dude attempted to cyber with me-- just out of the blue, in public chat, without asking me first-- in second life, and tried to convince me to use some object that would do the motions or some crap like that. I think he was suspended shortly after or something, but goddamn was that weird... and creepy...
That was about four years ago... I don't play second life anymore.
(I have had awkward IRL moments, but few of them THAT awkward)
Wow that sounds vaguely firmly to one of the games I was in. But it was halo -.-. And they Did some really really wierd stuff.
Halo cybering? What a great idea! What in hell... O.O
I had a similar experience; I walked randomly onto the dancefloor at my sisters birthday as soon as it started playing. It's now customary to play it when I accomplish something of note.
Melissia wrote:Most awkward moment was probably when this dude attempted to cyber with me-- just out of the blue, in public chat, without asking me first-- in second life, and tried to convince me to use some object that would do the motions or some crap like that. I think he was suspended shortly after or something, but goddamn was that weird... and creepy...
That was about four years ago... I don't play second life anymore.
(I have had awkward IRL moments, but few of them THAT awkward)
Normally I would make a half-assed joke here, but the shock metre has just overloaded.
The shock meter you say?
Does it go like this
0% Organically Transfusion
_ Wait What?
_____________ WTF?
___________________________________________ SHOCK
_ There is no spoon
______ PIE!
Just had a new awkward moment with the opposite gender, when my English teacher assigned us in-class groups (which he organized by numbering us off) where we would work together on several debates that we would fight or defend for.
Anyways I was sitting on the class couch with my foot pressed against what felt like a leg of a chair when I looked down at my leg it turned out I had been misinformed. I had been playing "footsies" with this really cute girl, for a long
enough time to have embarrassed myself and probably her as well, luckily she was nice about it and didn't bring any attention to the issue and continued on with the assignment.
Back in school, in a Spanish lesson, I used to sit next to a really pretty and cute girl. One late afternoon lesson, she way yawning and said:
"Ah, I wish I were in my bed now..."
And me, being equally tired, just said:
"Yeah, me too.."
To which she replied "WHAT?! You want to be in MY bed?!" with a mixture of played (!) outrage and giggling. Smooth as I am, I was totally embarassed the way she understood me - yeah, of course I wanted to be in her bed, but no way in hell I would actually tell her this in her face during a lesson...
So I just flushed and stuttered "Oh, uh, no, that's not, well...uh." and she realized that I was truly embarassed and we fell in some kind of awkward silence.
I realized days later that I just should've went with it, smiling broadly and saying something like "Oops, Freudian slip there, sorry" instead of turning red like a tomato. Could've been the start of a nice flirt. But Witzkatz has the tendency to screw up things like that...
Alright, so I walked up to my girlfriend during lunch, put my arm around her, and said, "What's up?" The entirety of the table looked at her, she nodded, and they all left.
"Matthew, you're a nice guy, but I don't think I'm ready yet. We should... probably see other people."
She dropped the bombshell 5 days into out dating. I shook hands with her, Never met her parents. Dammit, I never even saw her damned house.
And she was my 1st GF. Go me! Another gem:
It was a summer party at the park. Boys vs Girls chestnut trowing fight. I got a great one off, right into her... well.... Let's just say that chestnut got to second base, and stayed there. Everyone stopped and stared at me. Thankfully, I had a back up plan.
RUN
She finally caught up to me and slapped me so hard I broke 2 of my fingers falling.
Ah yes, Chowderhead, the most awesomesuperfantabuloso ladies man on Dakka.
Witzkatz wrote:Back in school, in a Spanish lesson, I used to sit next to a really pretty and cute girl. One late afternoon lesson, she way yawning and said:
"Ah, I wish I were in my bed now..."
And me, being equally tired, just said:
"Yeah, me too.."
To which she replied "WHAT?! You want to be in MY bed?!" with a mixture of played (!) outrage and giggling. Smooth as I am, I was totally embarassed the way she understood me - yeah, of course I wanted to be in her bed, but no way in hell I would actually tell her this in her face during a lesson...
So I just flushed and stuttered "Oh, uh, no, that's not, well...uh." and she realized that I was truly embarassed and we fell in some kind of awkward silence.
I realized days later that I just should've went with it, smiling broadly and saying something like "Oops, Freudian slip there, sorry" instead of turning red like a tomato. Could've been the start of a nice flirt. But Witzkatz has the tendency to screw up things like that...
And knowing is half the battle It's not the "badness" that attracts girls as much as the self-confidence that often turns into arrogance (see: douchebag). Always go with it, just make sure you don't do it in a way that belittles you (adding how "you know I really wouldn't think that"). Honesty really does go a long way.
Avatar 720 wrote:I cannot talk to a girl without embarrasing myself, it is physically impossible. I will either stutter, forget what I was about to say or crack a strange joke. Sometimes I even ruin it by a using a word they don't understand (it's true, you tend to get stared at and asked 'What?' if you use something mildly more complex than the crap our current youth is spouting everywhere).
Perhaps I just pick the wrong girls to talk to, but there isn't really a lot of choice...
There's also flirting. I cannot fathom it. At all.
Age/living situation? Just loosen up and be you. Be the guy who talks to the hot chicks ugly friends. This will not only teach you to be a good wingman later, but let you get some practice in on girls who you can afford to mess up with.
I've had a few more awkward moments in my absence. I invited a guy I thought was super hot along for a surprise three way with a female friend. General rule: test the product first. We strongly believe the guy may have been a virgin. It was horrendous to say the least. This only further serves my belief that the prettier they are, the less skilled they are. After that I had a talk with her and it was fairly shameful
This thread has made me feel so much better about myself. ha. Hmm... or maybe not. Sigh.
Anyway...
In high school art class, a bunch of us where at this big table sitting on stools and doing art things. This girl came up behind me and said "could you stand please?". Seeing a girl actually talk to me was a bit of a surprise so I stood up. She took my stool, went to the back of the table and sat down. !!!
Well, I felt like a fool. It gets worse. Behind her where more stools on top of a table. I went over, picked one up, turned around and the stool smacked right into the back of her head.
No matter what you say, nothing will get you out of that one.
OoieGoie wrote:
No matter what you say, nothing will get you out of that one.
"Excuse me ma'am, it appears your ego was clipped by the stool. Would you like your rich dad to sue me? Oh right, he left when you were a baby. Skank."
As I can't really talk to females properly, I'd say any moment involving the opposite gender. Even though lately I'm making some considerable progress with a girl.
Ink. wrote:Being a woman, this thread is wonderful, and explains a lot of my teenage years..
Well I'm glad to hear that you found something useful out of this thread. I did make it about embarrassing yourself in front of the opposite gender (not just women in specific) so women you can post in here too in fact I encourage it, as Im'
interested in any awkward stories you may have regardless of sex.
Yah, trying to get them to leave/shut up/stop talking. All of them.
Automatically Appended Next Post: When we are done that is. I'm up front about not wanting a relationship and I tell it to the ladies. Half of them interpret that as "I want to get married and have a baby", which is completely nuts to me.
Ink. wrote:Being a woman, this thread is wonderful, and explains a lot of my teenage years..
Well I'm glad to hear that you found something useful out of this thread. I did make it about embarassing yourself in front of the opposite gender (not just women in specific) so women you can post in here too in fact I encourage it, as Im'
interested in any awkward stories you may have regardless of gender.
Indeed. Any form of insight into the World of Women is most interesting.
Me: Ok, well you are really fun to hang out with but I do NOT want another emotional roller coaster relationship ok?
Her: OK!!!!
Me: Gosh that was some good pizza.
Her: I think I'm in love with you.
Me: I am breaking up with you.
Her: Can we move in together in June?
Me: I broke up with you, why are you still here?
Her: Have sex with me lots!
Me: Ok, but we are broken up.
Her: Ok!
Me: Time to go.
Her: I thought we were moving in together?
Already posted this in a much older thread, but its cool if I repost it.
There was a girl I really liked in my drama club. I wanted to ask her out, but I didnt actually know how... So I asked a couple guys. That was mistake #1. Someone told her that I was going to ask her out. I didnt ask her for a month, as I was waiting for the right time to ask her. I was nice to her, talked with her and all she was doing was getting angry over the fact that I hadn't asked her yet. she was really nice about it when she told me and she explained the situation to me. I thanked her, which apparently wasn't the reaction she was looking for. So now she seems very angry whenever I saw hello to her.
Latter in the year, similar situation, diffrent girl, but then I changed my mind and wasn't going to ask her. I didnt want to repeat the previous situation. She yelled at me that she hated me for not asking her, and now she wont talk to me at all.
You damned if you do and your damned if you dont. I have given up on dating almost entirely. Now I have more time for school and my hobbies. So it all worked out.
"Go with your gut. Fill yourself up with confidence and be yourself and your natural wit ought to carry you when asking someone out; at the very least, you'll be yourself to the Nth degree and if she doesn't like you then, it was never meant be."
5 times outta 6 iv've tried to stick my finger up ............. Something........ Was pretty awkward..... On an unrelated note.. @Melissia you assume it was a member of the opposite gender... You can never be sure on the net... Add another awkward moment right now! I find Melissia's Avatar strangely hot.......
Owain wrote:Don'tcha love it when you get "YOU'RE BREAKING UP WITH ME!?" when there's nothing to break up in the first place?
I think the best one I ever heard was "I can't believe a guy that plays with army men is dumping me". Pure gold
Yea like that matters at all. Im sure being a guy that plays with toy soldiers isnt the worst that chick has been with
I was on a first date once when this chick started talking about how we should get married and what the 5! kids names would be (mentioned earlier a bit) and I was 17 at the time. Yea. Kids are definitely what Im thinking about at 17 lol. I told her "welp, its been real and all but your nuts and Im leaving" so I paid for my half of the dinner and just left her there lol
LoL I think my most awkward moment was when i was dared to skateboard blindfolded (which i had never done) through the courtyard behind the school. i had noted the people along the walls as i was blindfolded. So I get on and go, but i lose steam..
So i reached out and pushed off one of the people standing there.. The softness tipped me off... I had just propelled myself forward off some chick's breasts!
Thank god i was blindfolded so i didn't look like a total perv!!!!
Peter Wiggin wrote:Me: Ok, well you are really fun to hang out with but I do NOT want another emotional roller coaster relationship ok? Her: OK!!!! Me: Gosh that was some good pizza. Her: I think I'm in love with you. Me: I am breaking up with you. Her: Can we move in together in June? Me: I broke up with you, why are you still here? Her: Have sex with me lots! Me: Ok, but we are broken up. Her: Ok! Me: Time to go. Her: I thought we were moving in together?
I started to speak in Italian perverted way. But yeah She understood everything I was saying. And it didn't end well for me. Apart from her liking me a little bit more.
I shall have good stories for you in about 6 days time, for I journey to Arizona to serve as a groomsman at a close friends wedding... you know what that means!
chaos0xomega wrote:I shall have good stories for you in about 6 days time, for I journey to Arizona to serve as a groomsman at a close friends wedding... you know what that means!
Lots of women and so little time? Bow Chicka Bow Wow And shes a 10 Bow Chicka Bow Wow And there are two of them Bow Chicka Bow Wow And they are twins Bow chicka Bow And they are blondes Bow Chicka Bow Wow
Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
chaos0xomega wrote:Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
lol. That sucks, I am 16 years old and I have only ever had one GF (Bitch) and I know the difference between turn ons and turn offs, and when they want you to do something for them
Good Luck mate. May the "force' be with you always.
chaos0xomega wrote:Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
Don't worry. Just take some patented Chowderhead13 Awesomesauce for 3 days, and you will be a new man!
chaos0xomega wrote:Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
Your problem is that you cant see signals, and mine is that I MISREAD signals. Whops...
chaos0xomega wrote:Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
Your problem is that you cant see signals, and mine is that I MISREAD signals. Whops...
Don't worry Happy Grunt we are all going to hell anyway.
Mukkin'About wrote:LoL I think my most awkward moment was when i was dared to skateboard blindfolded (which i had never done) through the courtyard behind the school. i had noted the people along the walls as i was blindfolded. So I get on and go, but i lose steam..
So i reached out and pushed off one of the people standing there.. The softness tipped me off... I had just propelled myself forward off some chick's breasts!
Thank god i was blindfolded so i didn't look like a total perv!!!!
No, but you may have misread the thread. This is AWKWARD moments, not AWESOME moments.
Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
Eric
I agree with this guy, I lost it at age 13 with some fugly ass girl in the converted attic of my garage. Sex is not as much of a big deal as you think especially not until you start getting into your 20's and start doing people with experience
My freshman year in high school I went over to a neighbor's house with my mom for a social visit. The daughter asks me upstairs to watch a movie, and the proceeds to snuggle up next to me, even going so far as to put her hand on my inner thigh. Suddenly she got up and said, "Excuse me, I need to change my bra," and does just that in front of me. Do I watch a perfectly willing girl of my own age undress for me? Nope, I turn my head to preserve her modesty.
The summer between my junior and senior years in high school I went over to this girl's house to hang out with her and her female friend. After a while she asks if I'd like to see her bedroom, and I say sure. She leads me upstairs, her friend doesn't follow, and then proceeds to tell me some story and show me the condom she had readily available. Totally didn't get what she was after.
At the end of my senior year in high school I had plans to go see an Alkaline Trio concert with two of my female friends. I worked with Girl A for her parents, and they were opening a new store so we were working round the clock and didn't make it to the concert. Being too young to buy booze we were looking for something to do, and I forget exactly who suggested it, but we played the stoplight game, where you take a piece of clothing off each red light you come to. To this day I'm still impressed that I managed to get down to my birthday suit while driving. So, eventually we're all naked and driving around Girl A is sitting in the navigator's seat and is rubbing my inner thigh, danger close to my business, and occasionally Girl B is using her cell phone as a flashlight to get a good look at my business. Do I take the opportunity afforded to me? Of course not, I think about other things and avert my gaze to protect their modesty.
It took me a surprisingly long time to figure out that if a female gets naked in front of you, they probably want you to take a good look.
Due to an unfortunate turn of events I had my appendix taken out the first day of classes of freshman year of college. The girl sitting next to me in my geology class took pity on me and offered me her notes, so we agreed on a time for me to come over and pick them up. So, at the appointed time I knock on the door, and there's no response for a while and I'm about to leave, when this guy with nothing on but a pillow to cover his modesty comes to the door. I tell him that this girl had offered me her notes, and he tells me go come in and get them, so when I go in the room to grab them the girl from my class is on the couch getting railed by some other guy! I beat a hasty retreat, and was never able to look at her the same again.
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
Eric
Disagree. Not because your first time is going to be oh so magical, but rather it teaches you not to fear anything related to sex. It becomes a conquerable enemy. Bragging rights are a plus.
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
Eric
Disagree. Not because your first time is going to be oh so magical, but rather it teaches you not to fear anything related to sex. It becomes a conquerable enemy. Bragging rights are a plus.
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
Alright this happened before my 6th form broke up for winter holidays.
Pretty much my and some mates were chatting. Nearby are some gals chatting. We all know each other.
One gal has a riding crop which she borrowed for some sort of bad santa party or something (no two people told exactly the same reason).
She wanted to whip someone with it.
Now then, I am well known for wearing and liking my leather jacket so a friend of the riding crop gal asks me "Scott you like all that leather and stuff don't ya? Wanna let Amy slap you with the whip?" (words essentially to this effect. Terrible memory)
A girl asked me if I was a stud. I said, "Maybe, matters on how far i go. But ye-no. I Can't really say If i am really a study if I was not a stud I would also being saying other stuff but I cannot denie the fact that I may be in fact a stud but the fact still remains If red is good or blue is good? Or are they the same? And Why does it always have to be me getting asked the freaking questions, for god sakes, I am may or may not be a stud."
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
Eric
Disagree. Not because your first time is going to be oh so magical, but rather it teaches you not to fear anything related to sex. It becomes a conquerable enemy. Bragging rights are a plus.
A quick review of the posting history of the two individuals quoted above will clearly show any interested parties which one is the more sensible one to listen to (me, of course).
I want to keep my virginity until I find my soulmate which will probably never happen. But you know what I just need to make a few deals and then I will live forever.
Asherian Command wrote:I want to keep my virginity until I find my soulmate which will probably never happen. But you know what I just need to make a few deals and then I will live forever.
Same.
I was born and raised in a Catholic household, but I ain't going to wait until I get married to do.... "Dirty" deeds (DUN DIRT CHEAP!). But nor am I going to go out and get bizzay with the first girl I run into either.
What? it wasn't awkward? Well, i think i have another one that definitely isn't awesome
There was this real innocent girl in high school.. really straightedge type. Anyways I thought she was cute and she was fun to tease with dirty jokes and innuendos. one day i was talking to her down in the nerd zone with a bunch of my fellow nerdlings present. She was standing with her back to the wall, and i thought of doing this for the lols. I put my arms out on either side of her, pressed her against the wall and kissed her. real sudden like. She pushed me away, slapped me, and ran away crying. I thought it was hilarious, and i heard some chuckles, but her friend told me later that I had broken her heart or something
Turns out she was saving her first kiss for the man she was going to marry.
I don't have a lot of tact, so i said to her friend "sweet, does that mean she's going to marry me?"
Neither of them talk to me anymore
Mukkin'About wrote:What? it wasn't awkward? Well, i think i have another one that definitely isn't awesome
There was this real innocent girl in high school.. really straightedge type. Anyways I thought she was cute and she was fun to tease with dirty jokes and innuendos. one day i was talking to her down in the nerd zone with a bunch of my fellow nerdlings present. She was standing with her back to the wall, and i thought of doing this for the lols. I put my arms out on either side of her, pressed her against the wall and kissed her. real sudden like. She pushed me away, slapped me, and ran away crying. I thought it was hilarious, and i heard some chuckles, but her friend told me later that I had broken her heart or something
Turns out she was saving her first kiss for the man she was going to marry.
I don't have a lot of tact, so i said to her friend "sweet, does that mean she's going to marry me?"
Neither of them talk to me anymore
How did you expect it to turn out? It sounds like you pretty much forced yourself upon her.
I like how everyone here is like "I did this. I did that!" Besides for one uncomfortable incident involving a male friend of mine, I can say I have never done anything that would be seen as "interesting" with a girl. I get the shakes just thinking about being with a girl. (Like alone in the same room, holding hands or something) I am the single saddest man alive.
Don't worry Happygrunt, I'd never do anything ridiculous with a fair lady myself, and am always nervous around them. I just hide it well, and after how long it took me to work up courage to finally ask my female friend out, I must say, I am quite disappointed at the results.
Oh well, pick yourself up and dust yourself off, eh?
Mukkin'About wrote:What? it wasn't awkward? Well, i think i have another one that definitely isn't awesome
There was this real innocent girl in high school.. really straightedge type. Anyways I thought she was cute and she was fun to tease with dirty jokes and innuendos. one day i was talking to her down in the nerd zone with a bunch of my fellow nerdlings present. She was standing with her back to the wall, and i thought of doing this for the lols. I put my arms out on either side of her, pressed her against the wall and kissed her. real sudden like. She pushed me away, slapped me, and ran away crying. I thought it was hilarious, and i heard some chuckles, but her friend told me later that I had broken her heart or something
Turns out she was saving her first kiss for the man she was going to marry.
I don't have a lot of tact, so i said to her friend "sweet, does that mean she's going to marry me?"
Neither of them talk to me anymore
How did you expect it to turn out? It sounds like you pretty much forced yourself upon her.
Yeah, pretty much. That was a pretty bitch thing to do....
Mukkin'About wrote:What? it wasn't awkward? Well, i think i have another one that definitely isn't awesome
There was this real innocent girl in high school.. really straightedge type. Anyways I thought she was cute and she was fun to tease with dirty jokes and innuendos. one day i was talking to her down in the nerd zone with a bunch of my fellow nerdlings present. She was standing with her back to the wall, and i thought of doing this for the lols. I put my arms out on either side of her, pressed her against the wall and kissed her. real sudden like. She pushed me away, slapped me, and ran away crying. I thought it was hilarious, and i heard some chuckles, but her friend told me later that I had broken her heart or something
Turns out she was saving her first kiss for the man she was going to marry.
I don't have a lot of tact, so i said to her friend "sweet, does that mean she's going to marry me?"
Neither of them talk to me anymore
Dude that is a hugely stupid and generally donkey-cave-ish thing to do.
Asherian Command wrote:I want to keep my virginity until I find my soulmate which will probably never happen.
Slarg232 wrote:I was born and raised in a Catholic household, but I ain't going to wait until I get married to do.... "Dirty" deeds (DUN DIRT CHEAP!). But nor am I going to go out and get bizzay with the first girl I run into either.
remember gentlemen, behind every lying man-whore is a woman who made him that way. Take it from experience, putting all your eggs in one basket can result in a black hole of a heart and lack of a soul. Be warned all ye who seek so-called love.
Asherian Command wrote:I want to keep my virginity until I find my soulmate which will probably never happen.
Slarg232 wrote:I was born and raised in a Catholic household, but I ain't going to wait until I get married to do.... "Dirty" deeds (DUN DIRT CHEAP!). But nor am I going to go out and get bizzay with the first girl I run into either.
remember gentlemen, behind every lying man-whore is a woman who made him that way. Take it from experience, putting all your eggs in one basket can result in a black hole of a heart and lack of a soul. Be warned all ye who seek so-called love.
While true, I am told by a certain fem fatale that I already have a Black Hole of a Heart, and I always knew I lacked a soul, so I be golden.
more power to ya bro, and all the best I believe love exists, just not in my personal cosmos where the sun doesn't shine and I'm the equivalent of the deciever lol.
chaos0xomega wrote:Yes, it means that, but not only am I still a virgin (this must change), I have no friggin clue what to do when it comes to women. I have the confidence thing down pat, but I am so incredibly blind to clear signals its not even funny. I can flirt til kingdom come, but short of the chick taking off her clothes and shooting off a starting pistol, I would never have any clue that she was actually interested in anything (I have no faith in myself realizing whats going on, even if she says something as obvious as "want to go back to my hotel room" or something). Then again, drunk chaos0xomega is a different animal from sober chaos0xomega, so we shall see.
Your problem is that you cant see signals, and mine is that I MISREAD signals. Whops...
No, I think we have the same problem actually. I misread some signals horribly (I had a really bad spring 2 years ago... not going into detail on that one, but suffice it to say, since then I've started intentionally blocking signals to keep myself from making the same errors again.
I agree with this guy, I lost it at age 13 with some fugly ass girl in the converted attic of my garage. Sex is not as much of a big deal as you think especially not until you start getting into your 20's and start doing people with experience
I'm 21, does that count?
A girl asked me if I was a stud. I said, "Maybe, matters on how far i go. But ye-no. I Can't really say If i am really a study if I was not a stud I would also being saying other stuff but I cannot denie the fact that I may be in fact a stud but the fact still remains If red is good or blue is good? Or are they the same? And Why does it always have to be me getting asked the freaking questions, for god sakes, I am may or may not be a stud."
I have a similar story. Couple years ago, I was at a buddies birthday party, and he introduces me to this girl. Wasn't bad looking overall, nice slim athletic build, pretty green eyes, blond hair... but she had a doorknocker nose piercing, total dealkiller (I usually like piercings, but this was too much). So she's basically interrogating me, and she finds out I'm a cadet, and this apparently turns her on. She mentions that my hair is a lot longer than most of the other cadets she's met, and I respond that I keep it within regulations, but I like wearing my hair a bit longer than most, etc. or something to that effect. Her response was to ask oh, are you a rebel, and at this point I played into it, just for fun I let off one of my devilish grins and responded "Maybe, you'll just have to find out won't you?" or something like that, and her response was basically along the lines of 'Oh I like guys that are rebellious' and... well, I don't know what I was thinking but I responded w/ "And I like girls that don't have doorknockers big enough to wake the dead bolted to their faces." I paused, thought about it for a moment, turned around, and left the party. I blame the alcohol.
A girl asked me if I was a stud. I said, "Maybe, matters on how far i go. But ye-no. I Can't really say If i am really a study if I was not a stud I would also being saying other stuff but I cannot denie the fact that I may be in fact a stud but the fact still remains If red is good or blue is good? Or are they the same? And Why does it always have to be me getting asked the freaking questions, for god sakes, I am may or may not be a stud."
I have a similar story. Couple years ago, I was at a buddies birthday party, and he introduces me to this girl. Wasn't bad looking overall, nice slim athletic build, pretty green eyes, blond hair... but she had a doorknocker nose piercing, total dealkiller (I usually like piercings, but this was too much). So she's basically interrogating me, and she finds out I'm a cadet, and this apparently turns her on. She mentions that my hair is a lot longer than most of the other cadets she's met, and I respond that I keep it within regulations, but I like wearing my hair a bit longer than most, etc. or something to that effect. Her response was to ask oh, are you a rebel, and at this point I played into it, just for fun I let off one of my devilish grins and responded "Maybe, you'll just have to find out won't you?" or something like that, and her response was basically along the lines of 'Oh I like guys that are rebellious' and... well, I don't know what I was thinking but I responded w/ "And I like girls that don't have doorknockers big enough to wake the dead bolted to their faces." I paused, thought about it for a moment, turned around, and left the party. I blame the alcohol.
Constantly. Unless I'm with my male friends, my sense of humour will greatly decrease, thus leading to a good joke falling on it's face. In a field of red-hot nails.
I'm the same way Tim, I am absolutely hilarious when I'm with my buddies (some moreso than others), to the point that I can easily become the life of the party/the talk of the town, but as you can imagine, its kinda rough to be with a girl if you're never alone.
MagickalMemories wrote:
chaos0xomega wrote: I responded w/ "And I like girls that don't have doorknockers big enough to wake the dead bolted to their faces."
MagickalMemories wrote:Don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, guys.
Although we all talked and bragged about it when we were younger, you will eventually realize that it was truly NOT that big a deal.
Also, if you rush it, there will likely be moments you look back on andy ask yourself, "Why the *F* did I do THAT!"
Eric
Disagree. Not because your first time is going to be oh so magical, but rather it teaches you not to fear anything related to sex. It becomes a conquerable enemy. Bragging rights are a plus.
A quick review of the posting history of the two individuals quoted above will clearly show any interested parties which one is the more sensible one to listen to (me, of course).
I think I brushed one of my (married ) coworkers today. I was helping her lift up a TV, she let go because we were pushing it into a wall, and walked to my side right as I pulled my arm out. Well, I felt something squishy rub against my arm, and she kind of jumped back, but didn't say anything and I didn't look at her.
Slarg232 wrote:I think I brushed one of my (married ) coworkers today. I was helping her lift up a TV, she let go because we were pushing it into a wall, and walked to my side right as I pulled my arm out. Well, I felt something squishy rub against my arm, and she kind of jumped back, but didn't say anything and I didn't look at her.
My latest attempt at finding a partner has fallen apart (what a surprise -.-) and i'm back to having no possible way of finding anyone.
Not old enough for pubs or clubs or whatever, not in any sort of educational facility such as a college or uni, don't have any friends (well, I do, just none that could open any doors to new friends and possibilities) nor do I have any access to social gatherings or the like because; let's face it; people generally think i'm weird (it wasn't stalking; just investigative following).
So yeah, back here on square 1 (I probably know square 1 more intimately than I know most people) and it feels strangely like a cruel game of snakes and ladders; I get further every time, but eventually every square becomes a snake.
Avatar 720 wrote:My latest attempt at finding a partner has fallen apart (what a surprise -.-) and i'm back to having no possible way of finding anyone.
Not old enough for pubs or clubs or whatever, not in any sort of educational facility such as a college or uni, don't have any friends (well, I do, just none that could open any doors to new friends and possibilities) nor do I have any access to social gatherings or the like because; let's face it; people generally think i'm weird (it wasn't stalking; just investigative following).
So yeah, back here on square 1 (I probably know square 1 more intimately than I know most people) and it feels strangely like a cruel game of snakes and ladders; I get further every time, but eventually every square becomes a snake.
You are under 18 and not in education or employment?
Avatar: Don't worry about it bro. The more you care the more desperate it will seem. Get some confidence, develop a very strong back bone and enjoy life and everything will work itself out. Get some friends who are more outgoing than you and let it rub off Main thing is don't stress, and work the negative vibes out at your own pace.
Avatar 720 wrote:My latest attempt at finding a partner has fallen apart (what a surprise -.-) and i'm back to having no possible way of finding anyone.
Not old enough for pubs or clubs or whatever, not in any sort of educational facility such as a college or uni, don't have any friends (well, I do, just none that could open any doors to new friends and possibilities) nor do I have any access to social gatherings or the like because; let's face it; people generally think i'm weird (it wasn't stalking; just investigative following).
So yeah, back here on square 1 (I probably know square 1 more intimately than I know most people) and it feels strangely like a cruel game of snakes and ladders; I get further every time, but eventually every square becomes a snake.
You are under 18 and not in education or employment?
17 (18 in March) and nearing the end of an Apprenticeship. In-centre stuff finished weeks ago and now it's purely work placement based until Jan. 28th, when the apprenticeship ends and i'm left dumping my CV on monster.com etc.
Slarg232 wrote:I think I brushed one of my (married ) coworkers today. I was helping her lift up a TV, she let go because we were pushing it into a wall, and walked to my side right as I pulled my arm out. Well, I felt something squishy rub against my arm, and she kind of jumped back, but didn't say anything and I didn't look at her.
Oops.
If you want advice... oh wait forum rules...
No advice needed, man. A) She be married, B) while she is very hot, which is probably why she is married, She is married, and C) She is married.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Avatar: Don't worry about it bro. The more you care the more desperate it will seem. Get some confidence, develop a very strong back bone and enjoy life and everything will work itself out. Get some friends who are more outgoing than you and let it rub off Main thing is don't stress, and work the negative vibes out at your own pace.
That was probably the best advice Ive ever read on here, and from you no less Also, Id buy your biography
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
lol aint that the truth. Only when I got older did I realize all those signs. and Im sure I still miss most, but the painfully obvious ones I get anyways
I had two hugely awkward moments with the same girl.
Were making out and she had her legs wrapped around me, she leaned back, i strained and Farted right on her. Direct contact. She laughed (a keeper). Later in the evenning i told her i was going to slip into something more comfortable. While attempting to rise to my feet the sleeve of my shirt caught under my hand ripped all the way up under my armpit and down the inseam to the waist, slipping off in one motion. She laughed and i walked away sheepishly...
she also later showed many red flags. We stopped dating shortly there after.
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
An ewok with nipples that go inwards.
This quote made me go WTF?
I feel a trend of stupidity coming soon..
My first quarter in college there was this Korean girl in my math class. I helped her study and we went out to a few movies and dinners. Always afterwards, she would ask me to come back to her place for some coffee or dessert. I would usually beg off saying I didn't drink coffee or had to be up early. All true, but totally missing the point of the invite. She asks for a kiss goodnight, so I give her a little peck on the cheek. Don't know if I need to point out I was a virgin at this point.
So one day I go to pick her up for a movie, she says "I rented a movie, we're staying in".
My first quarter in college there was this Korean girl in my math class. I helped her study and we went out to a few movies and dinners. Always afterwards, she would ask me to come back to her place for some coffee or dessert. I would usually beg off saying I didn't drink coffee or had to be up early. All true, but totally missing the point of the invite. She asks for a kiss goodnight, so I give her a little peck on the cheek. Don't know if I need to point out I was a virgin at this point.
So one day I go to pick her up for a movie, she says "I rented a movie, we're staying in".
Never did see the last half of that movie.
Funny how virginity blinds you to the obvious ones eh?
One I was on a cruise and me and this girl were talking about what kind of music we liked, and when she said she liked Breaking Benjamin, I immediately said "That band wrote a song for Halo 2, awesome, huh?"
Although she was a bit of a nerd herself I found out later, but it was incredibly awkward for a few seconds.
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
An ewok with nipples that go inwards.
This quote made me go WTF?
I feel a trend of stupidity coming soon..
I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
An ewok with nipples that go inwards.
This quote made me go WTF?
I feel a trend of stupidity coming soon..
Yeah but if you rush it you end up shagging a wookie or a hobbit or in my case both...
So you boned an Ewok?
All of my pre-22 years of age encounters with the female persuasion. Signals? What signals? I not only couldn't see them, I didn't know what I was meant to be looking for.
An ewok with nipples that go inwards.
This quote made me go WTF?
I feel a trend of stupidity coming soon..
How do you think I felt when the bra came off
Strangely aroused?
Are you? the quoter? Because, That would turn me off, and I would actually jump through a window. Of course I like taking my chances.
Ewok with nipples that go in is a huge turn off, sadly there were no windows in the converted garage attic I was in so instead I had to make due with turning the lights off and thinking happy thoughts.
corpsesarefun wrote:Ewok with nipples that go in is a huge turn off, sadly there were no windows in the converted garage attic I was in so instead I had to make due with turning the lights off and thinking happy thoughts.
I... i'm hurt that you felt that way about me... Uh, I mean, yes! Yes I don't blame you!... >.>
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
Thats my kind of woman. The kinkier in private the better if you ask me
corpsesarefun wrote:Ewok with nipples that go in is a huge turn off, sadly there were no windows in the converted garage attic I was in so instead I had to make due with turning the lights off and thinking happy thoughts.
I... i'm hurt that you felt that way about me... Uh, I mean, yes! Yes I don't blame you!... >.>
i'm secretly dying inside now ='(
Liz? Since when have you lived in stockport and liked khorne?
corpsesarefun wrote:Ewok with nipples that go in is a huge turn off, sadly there were no windows in the converted garage attic I was in so instead I had to make due with turning the lights off and thinking happy thoughts.
I... i'm hurt that you felt that way about me... Uh, I mean, yes! Yes I don't blame you!... >.>
i'm secretly dying inside now ='(
lol. Opps.
Anyway I know a few funny stories or stupid moments with the opposite gender. And some of them are kinda of like dumbass moments.
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
No idea what that is like
But srsly, if something isn't fun for you bailing is always an option. Might feel crappy to do at the time, but the morning after awkward intercourse is one of the worst feelings ever
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
No idea what that is like
You've never been choked or slapped before? Wow you really are a lucky person.
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
No idea what that is like
You've never been choked or slapped before? Wow you really are a lucky person.
I will probably have that happen to me. But you know what i really hope not.
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I dated a girl who liked to be slapped and choked during sex...hard, I did it cause it got her her jollies, but it always felt extremely wierd and ackward...
No idea what that is like
You've never been choked or slapped before? Wow you really are a lucky person.
I will probably have that happen to me. But you know what i really hope not.
Wait you've never been slapped or choked not even when play fighting?
It was followed by an eye roll, people I've been in a rape-play scenarios for crying out loud. Yes, I've left a mark or two on a willing subject in my day and had the favor returned. If blood play weren't so dangerous I'd be all over it constantly
I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
Takes all kinds of people to make a world. That one works nicely.
Blood play? Really? That one never really caught my fancy. Now when some chick had a bad upbringing because of her father or whatever and asks me to hit her like a man would, Im on it
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
Youd be surprised at how many DONT have sex until after that age. Again most of it is total BS
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
Youd be surprised at how many DONT have sex until after that age. Again most of it is total BS
Actually I'm not too surprised, seeing how most of the guys in high school are single.
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
Youd be surprised at how many DONT have sex until after that age. Again most of it is total BS
Actually I'm not too surprised, seeing how most of the guys in high school are single.
KingCracker wrote:Takes all kinds of people to make a world. That one works nicely.
Blood play? Really? That one never really caught my fancy. Now when some chick had a bad upbringing because of her father or whatever and asks me to hit her like a man would, Im on it
The choking thing is more common than I could have ever thought. Especially when you're a nice fellow and they trust you, all sorts of extremes are okay. The blood play just sort of happens typically ("don't stop biting" and things of that nature).
KingCracker wrote:Youd be surprised at how many DONT have sex until after that age. Again most of it is total BS
I was an 18er. I honestly think that's a great age, though a little earlier wouldn't bother me too much. I can't imagine having the pressure to perform at 13 If the opportunity was there for most kids that age I can't imagine they wouldn't take it though.
I was 12 the first time around and I wouldn't say it changed me profoundly in any way as a person. And trust me, at that age it isn't much of a performance
Grabzak Dirtyfighter wrote:I was 12 the first time around and I wouldn't say it changed me profoundly in any way as a person. And trust me, at that age it isn't much of a performance
chowderhead13 wrote:I walked in on conversation between 8th graders on how they had lost their virginities. Both to the same Freshman. One did it in a graveyard, the other in a changing booth in a mall.
I fething love this country. Don't you?
I do as well. Age limit for sex should be pushed back to 16. As most people would have done it by then.
Youd be surprised at how many DONT have sex until after that age. Again most of it is total BS
Actually I'm not too surprised, seeing how most of the guys in high school are single.
Uhh. You haven't been to my high school.
Well, in my school there is a lot of couples but they're a minority compared to the amount of singles.
), there are a few times I've been with guys who "only liked girls" and we became innebriated enough to prove otherwise. You wake up the next day and have to remember what happened and then get that awkward "sooo, I'm cool with what went down, but I assume I'm never speaking of this again?" to which the answer is most always an emphatic yes 
I'm a three beer kinda guy. the 4th one drops me. That's not counting the fact that I'm probably closer to acting drunk while I'm sober than most people are after their first drink.
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