dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

Hide that ...unless your feeling strong...then just tell her

My suggestion is you explain about them.

If your scared of her reacting badly explain them from the modeling and painting side of it rather than the gaming side. To be honest you having Warhammer shouldn't destroy your relationship with her if your serious about one another.

I can't say for a fact what is best for you, but I can say what happened with me and my then girlfriend (now she's my fiance X3), I explained them from a painting and modelling angle then introduced her to the gaming side of it and as a result she is right now planning to buy her own army (though she's getting Fantasy Bretonnians)

Good luck, hopefully she'll be understanding.

bloodjunkey wrote:dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

Hmmm the thing is this sounds very familar. But hide it mate. As long as possible. But when you think she is worth it. RISK IT. Also your not from IL are you?
Unless you tell her you are an awesome painter.

You can't really expect a successful relationship if you're covering up your hobby, and by extension an aspect of who you are. When you tell her, try to play up the artistic aspect. If she dumps you because of your hobby, is she really worth dating?

Any girl worth giving up your hobby for wouldn't ask you to do so in the first place. Just keep that in mind. Just tell her "It's nerdy but it makes me happy" and roll with it. Being yourself goes a long way.

My girl of the last 3 years encourages and occasionally enables my hobby - I've gotten a good handful of models over the years from her!

Treat it like any other hobby. If she asks, tell her what SHE wants to know, not what you think she should know. Alot of girls here are actually very interested in warhammer, the only thing stopping them being the price.

Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

Alphapod wrote:You can't really expect a successful relationship if you're covering up your hobby, and by extension an aspect of who you are. When you tell her, try to play up the artistic aspect. If she dumps you because of your hobby, is she really worth dating?

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

feth her on the weekdays and play 40k on the weekend. Problem solved.

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

Lol. Yeah right, Unless if they european.

Advice is going to be split on this one, and gamers are basically the WORST people to ask. Basically comes down to what you want out of the relationship.

If you love her and want it to last a long time, she will have to be told at some point, or will find out on her own. Obviously wait a few weeks/months so you have some idea if it will flip her out, and it might...the whole playing with toy soldiers aspect can really scream immaturity to some women, not to mention the standard gaming crowd is....not cool. Basically, I wouldn't consider telling her until AFTER the whole "meet my parents/family dinner" stage is well passed.

If you want to basically use her for some cheap short term fun and maybe as a means to work your way into the "cool" crowd, you'd be out of your mind to tell her...EVER, as it will be a weapon to be used against you when the relationship has run it's course.

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

Agreed, especially freshman year. I'd learn towards short term fun personally, but I'm a jaded old man.

Also, don't tell her you play Blood Angels...aka the sparkly vampire emo boys of Warhammer 40k.

Carnage43 wrote:Advice is going to be split on this one, and gamers are basically the WORST people to ask. Basically comes down to what you want out of the relationship.

If you love her and want it to last a long time, she will have to be told at some point, or will find out on her own. Obviously wait a few weeks/months so you have some idea if it will flip her out, and it might...the whole playing with toy soldiers aspect can really scream immaturity to some women, not to mention the standard gaming crowd is....not cool. Basically, I wouldn't consider telling her until AFTER the whole "meet my parents/family dinner" stage is well passed.

If you want to basically use her for some cheap short term fun and maybe as a means to work your way into the "cool" crowd, you'd be out of your mind to tell her...EVER, as it will be a weapon to be used against you when the relationship has run it's course.

You can't expect a successful relationship in highschool period.

Agreed, especially freshman year. I'd learn towards short term fun personally, but I'm a jaded old man.

Also, don't tell her you play Blood Angels...aka the sparkly vampire emo boys of Warhammer 40k.

Thats not true I know a couple that has been together since the first day of freshmen year. O.o

I really like her so it's not some cheap schem to get into the "cool crowd"

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

bloodjunkey wrote:I really like her so it's not some cheap schem to get into the "cool crowd"

Are you from IL? because this sounds very familiar to me. Not going to lie it does.
But yes I can see that you would not want to. Hell I named the cool crowd - the bitch club. As they are real jerks to everyone in my grade of course originally i didn't know who they were but I narrowed it down.

no I'm from MA but the cool crowd isn't that cruel....but I can song so BAM....

Azure wrote:

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

J, that's cuz you don't smoke your cigarettes like a european or treat girls like "gak" Thats the key to a successful relationship.

Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

So, Smoke cigarettes and treat girls like gak and I will have a successful relationship?

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:

Azure wrote:

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:Tell her it's european. High school chicks dig that.

I feel like that may be fading out though. When I walk around with my leather jacket, hat, and scarf people don't think "He's got a European fashion sense", they call me gay. : /

J, that's cuz you don't smoke your cigarettes like a european or treat girls like "gak" Thats the key to a successful relationship.

So I should just casually walk around campus, cigarette in mouth, smacking any women who back talk my having a smoke?

My girlfriends actually really cool with 40k. It's all about how YOU play it off. With my ex, I tried to not bring it up because I was afraid of being ridiculed and that kind of reflected into her judgement of it (though she was kinda unpleasant anyway). With my current gf I was much more relaxed about my hobby and she's way more supportive. She's bought me stuff for my birthday as a surprise and has gone with me to my FLGS a bunch of times actually when I wanted to go pickup something.

Confidence is the word. Good luck.

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

That is beautiful. Sig'd.

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

Gosh darn i have seen two quotes that I love in this thread. this one is epic. And I agree with it. But anyway this is true. But Girls don't like it when you completely and utterly tell the truth.

I would never suggest violence towards women. But if you have to do it, it will make you popular with the ladies.
And to the OP, don't take any of our dumb advice. Think about it tonight, sleep on it, and always remember,
You're playing with toy soldiers.

Hallowed_Da'Credo wrote:I would never suggest violence towards women. But if you have to do it, it will make you popular with the ladies.
And to the OP, don't take any of our dumb advice. Think about it tonight, sleep on it, and always remember,
You're playing with toy soldiers.

I smell a troller.

I am trying to help, but I forge steel through fire.

I actually haven't told my girlfriend I play, I think I've hinted at it, but whatever... or maybe its my obession with nethack that shes fully aware of... whatever!

now that I think about it, as she lays on my bed playing my pokemon pearl game, I'm not too worried about when she does find 2000 points of Eldar .

generally I've found people just don't care .

but seriously, You'll be best off if you don't explain it or justify it- as those are signs of doubt. She'll respect it if its just something about you, and you couldn't care less about what other people think about you. If anybody gives you gak, just give em the finger.

It's a stigma every guy thinks they have with girls. My friend managed to go a whole year thinking the girl he likes would think less of him if she knew he liked Warhammer (ironically, the girl is a huge anime fan and cosplays regularly. And that's no secret). I met her for about 2 days before I started talking about warhammer. Me friend tried to shush me up but then the girl took interest in it.

You never know. If you're afraid, then just be casual about it. At my old highschool I rarely hang out with the cool crowd, mainly because they're all a bunch of chatty gits who make lame sex jokes every half-minute. One day I was playing a game at the local GW center and they walked in. Exactly 3 minutes later they started playing on the table next to me with the introductory sets the manager had left out. These guys were the stereotype for "Cool" kids: Jocks, worried about clothing and appearances, latest tech, talking about guys/girls/music and pop culture, etc... Just shows you never know.

"40K and your girlfriend"

I have no experience with one of those subjects.

Tell her. I don't hide warhammer from anyone, and the worst I have ever gotten is apathy.

Just explain like this:
It's a hobby that I use to pass the time.
I enjoy it.
Yes its really nerdy, and I'm ok with that.
No it does not take up all my free time (Ok lie about that one if is true)
This is usually when I pull out one of my best models and let them hold it, and it usually elicits a "wow thats really awesome! You actually painted this? You're really good." They usually lose most of the interest after that, and we move on with our lives.

I would suggest that, and if she doesn't like it, give her the middle finger and break up with her.

Jaon wrote:So, Smoke cigarettes and treat girls like gak and I will have a successful relationship?

Either that, or you will have 6 or 7 partners, 15 or so offspring scattered amongst them, a kick-ar5e 126cm plasma tv, a 1973 Mazda sedan and live in the outer western (or whereever they congregate in your city) suburbs. You'll be a bogan, but at the same time unaware of why this is bad.


ALL of my former girlfriends were aware I was a gamer, it didn't bother them.
My wife knew I was a gamer - likewise. I'm still a gamer. She calls me her geek.

I didn't chase girls in highschool or worry about the cool crowd though (played serious catchup in my 20s though). My school was full of idiots.
The school's priority was doing well in sporting endeavours.

I'm a girlfriend that got into the game in 1998 because a boyfriend I had at the time got me into it.

Girls don't care what your hobby is as long as you're confident about it. If you try to hide it, the problem I'll have is more with you than your hobby.

I've had two girlfriends who knew about me playing warhammer extensively. One sat down and painted my models with me, one looked at one and said "yeah, my friend warned me you painted toy figures but said it was cool. Ok."
And both of them cheated on me!!

On topic, high school people generally care what OTHERS think about them: telling her now may have bad side effects, but after you are comfortable in a relationship its probably okay to bring up: just bring up the creative, artistic side to it. But, once you get to college, people pay more attention to what THEY think, rather than what others think: I had a girl who lived across the hall from me in college think my models were the coolest thing ever in my third year. High school relationships hurt, but if it lasts long enough, and she really likes you for who you are, you won't have any problems. Good luck dude

Whether you want it to last a long time or not, it's good to tell her. It's good practice for when someone who really matters comes along. Good dating habits have to start somewhere.

My wife and I both play 40k she currently plays a Daemon army and i play a SW army. The hobby is actually for us a great way to relive stress and bond after a long day of kids, work and all of the other crap. We both just sit and paint our

armies and gab about the day while we watch a movie or listen to music (she like club stuff ). But as stated above confidence is always good to have as a gamer when it comes to the opposite sex i mean why be shy about what you do

its what you enjoy so be proud of it. Hiding the fact that you play wargames from a person because you want them to like you is not a good thing to do because if a person likes you it wont make a difference to them.

It's all about confidence. If you try to cover it up and act all ashamed about it, of course she's going to dump your ass because of it. It's not specifically because she's shallow, it's because you've no spine and no respect for yourself.

If you pass it off non-chalant and show confidence in yourself, she won't care at all. She might even be supportive.

Confidence is the greatest super power in the world. With it, you can sway damn near anything in your favour.

why is this such a big deal!?


here is a real answer. DON'T BE A FAKE

at any time you feel you need to hide yourself you messed up somewhere in your life and you need some help.

Fafnir wrote:It's all about confidence. If you try to cover it up and act all ashamed about it, of course she's going to dump your ass because of it. It's not specifically because she's shallow, it's because you've no spine and no respect for yourself.

If you pass it off non-chalant and show confidence in yourself, she won't care at all. She might even be supportive.

Confidence is the greatest super power in the world. With it, you can sway damn near anything in your favour.

Mega-Points

I agree with most of the opinions here that you should be confident. There's no need to bring it up immediately; probably it would be useful to make sure you really have other common interests, but eventually it would be a good thing to bring up.

What advice i would like to pass along is that while things seem important in high school, once you escape that awful four year span you will likely realize how little many of those things mattered. If things work out with this girl that's great, but if not, there's really no need to fret--there's a much larger world awaiting you once that diploma is in your hands.

You are in high school. There's only 1 thing you need to concern yourself with, do whatever you have to do to get to that 1 thing. If it's not tell her about war gaming then so be it. You know what I'm saying?

I told my fiancee I played it, but had quit, which was perfectly true, when we started dating. She laughed at me for playing it, but I ignored it. After we got engaged, I said I wanted to start playing again, and she was fine. I cop a funny comment every now and then. Women aren't as shallow as you think.

I'm assuming you're in high school
Don't "hide" it, just don't mention it. If she asks about it, tell her casually that it's a pretty nerdy game thing, where you get little plastic figures and paint them. If she says "like dungeons and dragons?" say "no, like chess." She'll probably then laugh it off. Just don't make it seem as important as it actually is

I started playing 40K back when Marines had beaks and we made tanks out of deodorant. This was when I was a sophomore in high school, smack dab in those tumultuous years you're going through now.

I had friends and girlfriends stumble across my hobby, but never once did I try to hide it. Why should I? It doesn't hurt anybody, it's relaxing (to me), and I enjoy listening to my CDs while fiddling with tiny fragile skeletons.

Ultimately, everybody has SOMETHING they enjoy to an extent other people might find weird. That's part of the mix that makes it so much fun to be around them. Is it any weirder than tying fly fishing lures? Recreating music video dance routines on youtube? Keeping up with the twitter accounts of the cast of Jersey Shore?

We live in a world now where young adults of both genders have never known a world without the Internet. Borders and Barnes & Noble have manga sections littered with lounging readers. Console gaming, World of Warcraft, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and a hundred other "geek" pasttimes are now mainstream... or close enough to it to not be looked at askance.

Trust me, if you don't call people "bro" and treat her with respect, you'll be far enough ahead of the pack that some little plastic dudes won't torpedo you.

And though it's been said a few times, I want to stress this... DO NOT try to deceive her. Hiding it makes it shameful. She will either react to your fear ("if he thinks I should mock him for it, so maybe I should?") or react to your lack of trust in and respect for her. Be yourself. There's never really any reason not to be.

EDIT: I should add... gender doesn't have anything to do with appreciation of the game. Historically, wargaming has been male dominated primarily because a) wargamers tend to hide their enjoyment of the hobby, and congregate in dark, poorly lit FLGSs and b) the wargaming population tends to be somewhat skewed towards the less socially adept. So, assuming that a woman is open to the hobby, first she has to find out it exists, and then break through the awkward silence of the gamer gaggle. Usually, they feel like they're intruding, get embarrassed, and leave the store - and the hobby - behind. There's a weird lingering sense of taboo about boobs in a game shop that I never really understood. We, as gamers, have to get over the idea that our hobby is a stigma of nerdity or else nobody else will ever think otherwise.

When I look around, I see that there's a great opportunity for more young women to be recruited into the hobby. Anime, cosplay, EverQuest and WoW, and the console games have really broken a lot of ground. But because games like Warhammer are very strongly location bound (your basement, the FLGS, tournaments, the painting table), it's a lot harder for people to stumble onto it. So when you have a chance to make a first impression, it's best not to be ashamed of it.

/soapbox

If she can't handle what you like to do, then the relationship is a waste of time. If YOU can't handle what you like to do, then you've gotta learn to handle it. Not to be too harsh, though: I've been there, I remember high school. But seriously, man: feth the haters, you gotta do what you do.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

GamzaTheChaos wrote:why is this such a big deal!?


here is a real answer. DON'T BE A FAKE

at any time you feel you need to hide yourself you messed up somewhere in your life and you need some help.

QFT.

Is she good at painting? Then lather on the praise and reap rewards.

But, uh, yeah dude. Full disclosure is they way to go... unless you like to decive people who are important to you.

If she likes you, 40K won't get in the way of that. My girlfriend doesn't really care at all.

I did once try to explain the whole background starting from the Emperor to the Horus Heresy, and she barely got any of that.

You do have a chance that she might go cya later nerd and tell every one, or if you both really care for her and she does to you should understand!

Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Always breaks my heart to see people coming to a table top wargaming site for advice on girls. lol Another socially scared male in the making.

Im just kidding... (a little). some good tips on here and some awful ones. Honestly highschool is the most meaningless arbitrary social scene but it seems very important because of the whole teen horomonal factor. Just no matter what have fun and come out of it knowing that you didnt comprimise the person that you are just to appease someone else, have some pride, confidence in who you are is everything with women. But if you have to cover it up to get to the "fun" than by all means play it close to the chest them move along when your done. lol

This hobby is only as nerdy and geeky as you make it out to be. If you act coy and embarrassed about your models then that makes the hobby embarrassing by default. Conversely if you talk about it proudly and with confidence, her impression of the hobby will alter accordingly.

I'm not saying invite her round for a game (not a wargame at least ) but don't pack all your models up and hide them away whenever you smell her perfume. You never know, she might be innately interested in this new, artistic side of your personality.

The social stigma that surrounds wargaming is long overdue a good abolishment. It seems odd that people who play wargames on a tabletop for 2-3 hrs a week are nerds and geeks, but those who play Call of Duty for 5-6 hrs a day are 'cool'.

Such is life.

L. Wrex

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

made my day. sigged.

Luckily when I met my GF I was just myself, 40k/Warcraft, you name it - it was on display in my room along with my sci-fi/fantasy books.

Long story short, if the girl is worth having she won't mind what your hobbies are

Don't expect her to join in though lol.

Laughing God wrote:

Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:Don't make a big deal of it, act like it is just one of your hobbies, and thats that. But if she freaks and plays the imature card and judges you based on hobbies...well it was bound to happen over someting or the other with her, if not hobbies then fasion or friend choices etc... but thats the trials and tribulations of high school dating it gets better when you are older.
You just have to decide if she is worth hiding parts of your personality for.

Always breaks my heart to see people coming to a table top wargaming site for advice on girls. lol Another socially scared male in the making.

Im just kidding... (a little). some good tips on here and some awful ones. Honestly highschool is the most meaningless arbitrary social scene but it seems very important because of the whole teen horomonal factor. Just no matter what have fun and come out of it knowing that you didnt comprimise the person that you are just to appease someone else, have some pride, confidence in who you are is everything with women. But if you have to cover it up to get to the "fun" than by all means play it close to the chest them move along when your done. lol

Doug we can't all usurp the social hierarchy like a rogue planetary governor lol, and as far as coming to a wargaming forum for advice, where else is he going to go? we are all people who share his hobby and have possibly been through situations he has not, this is probably the most appropriate place he could go.

As everyone else said, be open about it. Don't openly bring it up, but if she's coming over to visit, and sees your army or a few models around, and asks what they are, go ahead and tell her! If she's gonna dump you for doing that, then clearly she wasn't worth dating in the first place.

But in my experience movie high school stereotypes are a figment of Hollywood's imagination.

timetowaste85 wrote:I've had two girlfriends who knew about me playing warhammer extensively. One sat down and painted my models with me, one looked at one and said "yeah, my friend warned me you painted toy figures but said it was cool. Ok."
And both of them cheated on me!!

I lol'd. Hard.

L. Wrex

Well my ex girlfriend with whom i was together for more than 6 years accepted my hobby and didn't give me any problems with it and even she liked to participate in it from time to time.

My recent girlfriend is into 40K as much as I am, she owns two armies so we've got no problem with eachother in this topic. I have to mention that she started collecting armies when I did and that was about 3 years ago (we weren't together then, though).

If it's a hobby then there is no shame in hiding it from anybody (well except, when you collect girl underwear or something ).

If she has a problem with you collecting "plasic little men" and that it is "immature" then tell her, that it is a great hobby that bonds generations together and is more mature than most other hobbies (like collecting stamps for example), cause it makes you being creative and developes many new skills.

If that doesn't work then she's not worthy your attention anyway .

PS. If she says such things then counter attack her with this:
"In defense I can tell you that going to parties and getting smashed aint a hobby"

Wait, 40k isn't cool?!?

I think the problem is 40k is a bit like masturbating: you do it lots when younger and it's great fun, but if the girlfriend catches you she just won't see the appeal...

Daedricbob wrote:Wait, 40k isn't cool?!?

I think the problem is 40k is a bit like masturbating: you do it lots when younger and it's great fun, but if the girlfriend catches you she just won't see the appeal...

Or she gives you a hand with it.

Tell her about it but hide the fact that it is a MEQ army
Say it's something awesome.. like Orks. She will love you and you will get an auto ticket into the cool crowd

last time i told my GF that i play WH40K then showed her my smurfs...... She asked if there's a female variation. I pointed at the witch hunter on the website
Next Birthday she remind me that she want a box of those nuns

so yeah, take the chance

My girlfriend is the one that convinced me to start playing, some girls like the game, believe it or not.

Just tell her the truth: you go play wargames with your buddies, and part of this involves assembling and painting models. It's a hobby, and you enjoy it.

40k is only weird when you try to explain the details, especially to someone who doesn't care.

bloodjunkey wrote:dear dakka,

I have recently been going out with this girl and she has seen the paint pots in my room but thinks there from when I was little because so far she hasn't seen my beloved blood angels. she is going to find out eventually what these "little dudes" are. ( she saw a random marine lying on my floor) she is part of the "cool crowd" at my school and I dont want to blow it with her. should I explain what my 40k models are or just try to hide it for as long as I can.....please note I am only a high school freshman.

I know I am a COLLOSAL hypocrite for saying this, but I'd recommend telling her-she'll be more annoyed if she found out you were trying to keep something from her I reckon. Plus, you might be surprised-I just found out today that the girl I have had a crush on for the past three and a half years is a massive fan of the Talisman board game. Conclusive proof that there is a God .

MechaEmperor7000 wrote:Treat it like any other hobby. If she asks, tell her what SHE wants to know, not what you think she should know. Alot of girls here are actually very interested in warhammer, the only thing stopping them being the price.

To Canada!

Make it sound artistic, and leave some unfinished stuff on a workbench, you dont have to say and it drops the hint. But yeah, make it sound artistic

Man, why are people so self conscious about playing this game? It is something you like to do, if she asks about it tell her, if for whatever superficial reason she can't handle somebody who has a hobby, and can't see and respect the craftsmanship involved then let her leave.

People tend to over complicate...

She will either like you for you or will not be worth your time.

And always remember that if you take time and do your models well then your are nothing short of a craftsman learning and mastering a craft which the majority of people can see and respect. Take pride in yourself and what you do.

Punch her in the face and tell her too get over it.

But not really, my girlfriend accepted it pretty well shes a different side too your life and should be able too see this.

You are a kid in high school, you are essentially playing with army men or with that 'dungeons and dragons stuff'.

If she is with the cool crowd the chances are that its game over for your relationship.

Just get on with your thing, and realise that when you are older you will still get odd looks for playing with toy soldiers.


I have been playing war games 20 odd years, my wife thinks my 'Warhammers' are 'funny' (in the odd sense).

HIDE IT!!!!! lol thats what i did wen i was in highschool. I still do it now with my current gf even tho we've been together for a year. Everytime I go to my LFGS or a montly tournament, I tell her its a video game related thing. She still thinks I'm a nerd, but it works for me lol

Horrible advice from the last 2 posts...

Women are attracted to men, not boys

Boys hide things they are self conscious about and do not take pride in what they do or in themselves.

Men know were they stand and are confident in all aspects of there life, step up not down, if you show you are confident in yourself and what you do women will come and will respect that, even if it seems a little nerdy.

I have to emphasize yournamehere on this one.

Pride may be a fool's fortress, but god knows women are attracted to it.

If you don't care what other people think about your warhammer, then she'll respect that- you get into trouble if you try to hide it and later when she INEVITABLY finds out... There are all kinds of people who go into hobby shops, I guarantee that most of the ones with girlfriends don't pussyfoot around the issue.

So basically you shouldn't hide them from a significant other, but if you are single and one night stands aren't out of the question it may be best to just store em under the bed.

Especially Mr.DK's advice. I mean, I could not imagine hiding a hobby of this scale from a person I'm in a relationship with. If I don't trust them enough to let them about somethig like my hobby....well, why the heck am I in a relationship with this person to begin with?!

I do admit though, most girls when they see my 40k miniatures, are rather interested in the artistic side of it, and at one was interested enough to start asking about the game itself.

But yes, don't hide your hobbies...hiding it will only set things up for problems in the future. If the girl knows you're willing to lie over somethin so trivial as a hobby...how does she know she can trust you over something more important?

yournamehere wrote:Man, why are people so self conscious about playing this game? It is something you like to do, if she asks about it tell her, if for whatever superficial reason she can't handle somebody who has a hobby, and can't see and respect the craftsmanship involved then let her leave.

People tend to over complicate...

She will either like you for you or will not be worth your time.

And always remember that if you take time and do your models well then your are nothing short of a craftsman learning and mastering a craft which the majority of people can see and respect. Take pride in yourself and what you do.

This.

I really don't get why people are so concerned with how to "handle" the situation. I wasn't in a crowd that did anything like 40k when my bf got me into it way back when. Don't oversimplify people and don't think that 40k is the weirdest thing people do or that it is somehow unacceptable. It's only childish if you hide it... like a child.

akaean wrote:
So basically you shouldn't hide them from a significant other, but if you are single and one night stands aren't out of the question it may be best to just store em under the bed.

Very true: always hide them from a one night stand or a bang-buddy: unless they are into dorky things. Remind me to discuss "strip-soul caliber" someday...hmm, maybe not, as this is supposed to be a family friendly site

But yeah, as stated so many times, just be confident and as I mentioned on page 1 (I think) just talk about the artistic aspect of it. Also, another point that I made to a friend's girlfriend was that it is mentally good for you: it stimulates your brain to play and strategize, and this helps prevent the onset of diseases such as Alzheimers. Tell her it's a prescription for your mind! You won't even be lying

Kids in high school tend to be very reactionary about things, so nothing good could come from her knowing... mention it when y'all are in college, if you plan on going. Until, I wouldn't worry about it, nor consider letting her in on it. You guys will likely break up over some piddly reason sooner than later so there's no reason to let her in on it...

Whether you are cool or not isn't decided by your girlfriend. It's decided by her friends.

nevermind

I used to do alot of dating coaching, pickup artist stuff . (i was the teacher coach). It depends how you frame your hobby, Unless you are a mack daddy like myself I would say hide it, on the otherhand you can say something like, i like to have a game with a few beers with the boys its like poker but more interesting (comparing it took poker for some reason makes it cool to women who don't know 40k or poker, which is most). and i can chill out when i paint em, helps me relax. I would however brush over it like its not a big deal and not dwell on it, my gf got me back into it but does not actually like it, i think the majority of girls don't from what i have experianced.

Seems the US high-school chicks are quite fickle?


Never had a problem with my girlfriend of 2 years...because I didn't care!!


She's been to GW with me on numerous shopping trips

Gf "Reyt, wanna go primark then new look at get them new tops"

Me "Ah alright, but I *NEED* to go to GW and pick up some more paint "


Gf "Not spending all day in there again >:| "


Me "I know babe"

And then I'd get chatting to staff while she cries herself to sleep.

My GF thinks it's kinda cute, but generally avoids the subject. And It was mainly because she already knew i was a pretty nerdy guy. I guess just treat it like it's nothing out of the ordinary. If you freak about her finding out, she'll think it's because it is bad.

tell her flat out. show up for a date wearing space marine armor. if she gets weird, tell her the emprorer is displeased, and you must now purge the heresy from her. ill leave the last statment to your imagination on how to actually do so. either way, should make for an interesting night.

You're 14/15. She's most likely not the one. Have fun, relax, try not to let your hormones dominate your thinking too often.

People (even high schoolers) tend not to be as shallow as you think. Lots of people have passions for things outside the cliched norm. In fact, very few people fit into the stereotypical high school image (you know, the jock/cheerleader who bullies the choir kids/band students/chess club/studyers).

If you're passionate about something, people may think it's a little weird. But they'll respect you, if you're able to be "normal" outside of when you're playing 40k. If you can have a conversation with a person and not once bring up anything 40k related, you're fine. It's the kids whose only social abilities seem tied to whatever it is they do that are the shunned ones.

Be prepared for a bit of good-natured ribbing. 40k is nerdy and she'll make fun of you a bit. But, always look at her eyes, she'll be smiling inside. Don't take offense, it's no different than when you poke fun at her love of Twilight or Glee.

I won't lie, there is a possibility that she dumps you. Some people just want to "fit in" so badly that they fake that sterotype in themselves. If she does this, don't worry. She's a bitch and is going to have a miserable life after high school (although, during high school, she's going to be rather popular). You're lucky to be rid of her.

poking fun at twilight is not simple fun. its almost mandatory. and hopefully such teasing will make target individual repent of his heretical ways and shun the "sparkly vampires" like they deserve.

on topic if she actually DOES like twilight i suggest breaking it off immediatly. shes clearly insane.

DarthSpader wrote:poking fun at twilight is not simple fun. its almost mandatory. and hopefully such teasing will make target individual repent of his heretical ways and shun the "sparkly vampires" like they deserve.

on topic if she actually DOES like twilight i suggest breaking it off immediatly. shes clearly insane.

Why don't you just tell him to buy a blowup doll instead? It'll amount to the same thing. Many girls, even above the age of 17 like/love Twilight. If we all listened to that advice, we'd all have blowup dolls in the closet and worse under the bed. No details, do to fear of the MODquisition

women are like cats. You replace them or they replace you. At your age this is very true. get one over 30yo they arent so fickle. Just have a good time for now don't put pressure on yourself. Get a good education/job then you will have plenty of them.

If you want a long term relationship you have to be honest with each other. No secrets. If she likes you she will respect your hobbies. Hiding it only makes it look bad.

Some girls actually like the game. My college boyfriend introduced me to Warhammer from the artistic side painting and soon after I had started a high elf and eldar army because I love elves and it was fun to paint. I wanted to try the game too and soon after that I was playing regularly and ultimately started playing competitively.

nevertellmetheodds wrote:I used to do alot of dating coaching, pickup artist stuff . (i was the teacher coach). It depends how you frame your hobby, Unless you are a mack daddy like myself I would say hide it, on the otherhand you can say something like, i like to have a game with a few beers with the boys its like poker but more interesting (comparing it took poker for some reason makes it cool to women who don't know 40k or poker, which is most). and i can chill out when i paint em, helps me relax. I would however brush over it like its not a big deal and not dwell on it, my gf got me back into it but does not actually like it, i think the majority of girls don't from what i have experianced.

This kid has never had a GF


Be a man Never hide anything!!! YOU HEAR ME?!?! NO ONE LIKES A FAKE CHUMP COWARD WHO HIDES!!!!!!!!!

timetowaste85 wrote:

Why don't you just tell him to buy a blowup doll instead? It'll amount to the same thing. Many girls, even above the age of 17 like/love Twilight. If we all listened to that advice, we'd all have blowup dolls in the closet and worse under the bed. No details, do to fear of the MODquisition

Heh.

All of the females I know want to kill the entire Twilight franchise with fire.
I've read A twilight book - and I'd honestly rather read another Fabio bodiceripper than go through that again.

This includes the three 21 year olds (My niece and her goth friends).

My wife loathes it also (as do her friends, and our mutual friends).

It has struck a chord with a specific demographic - but they are not the same demographic who were into vampires 10 years ago.
There is the Vampire diaries/True Blood/Moonlight crowd and there is the Twilight crowd and there is nothing but bad blood between them.

this thread made my night. XD

But on a more serous note, don't be afraid of what you like to do. If she is showing you interest in the first place then obviously you shouldn't have to worry about your hobbies. Unless you have completely split personality you probably act just as nerdy around her with out even realizing it. Yes I do agree with some stuff, like don't need to bore her to death trying to explain the game and such. But telling her its a hobby you have is nothing bad. If she does go immature on you then Fudge her as a heretic. At your age there is hundreds of more options.

i just read ops question to my wife and she said without even blinking... "Hide that "

How old are you people anyway?

Yeah, playing 40K is your defining abilaty as a person. :-p Honestly I do not se what the big deal is.

But only tell her if it becomes a topic. It is not like you go towards people on the street and say hello my name is ben and I play warhammer 40K. I am just telling you because I think it is a fine way to start a conversation. :p

But dont let it get lying around. Warhammer models have a way of taking up huge space!

Pretty much agree with Niiai here.

Not sure why so many people are advising you hide it, I know a lot of people look down on the hobby from the few times I've been a room with someone who didn't know I play started bad mouthing it, was funny as hell watching them backtrack when I said I played though, but really people its a hobby you enjoy why hide it. Does anyone else think that the reason it is so shuned might be because so many of us hide our hobby, like it is something to be ashamed off?

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

In all honestly though I don't think a 40k forum is the best place to get advise on this subject and no one can really judge the situation bettter than you, all we can do is mouth off about personal experiences and our opinions based on your original question. Your the one who knows her and yourself and the myriad of other factors that are involved, do what your heart/gut tells you, but don't be in a rush to make up your mind.

Good luck man I hope it works out for you, I really do

Speaking as a highschooler. Unless you some how become one of the few who marries the girl they meet in high school i suggest you don't unless you know shes understanding. The thing you have right now is a fling and will end at some point in your high school career and you will move on to other girls (possibly better ones). Hide them unless you know her.

Ogard wrote:i just read ops question to my wife and she said without even blinking... "Hide that "

I lol'ed.

Niiai wrote:Yeah, playing 40K is your defining abilaty as a person. :-p Honestly I do not se what the big deal is.

God I hope not. I play cricket too donchaknow?

SpankHammer III wrote:Pretty much agree with Niiai here.

Not sure why so many people are advising you hide it, I know a lot of people look down on the hobby from the few times I've been a room with someone who didn't know I play started bad mouthing it, was funny as hell watching them backtrack when I said I played though, but really people its a hobby you enjoy why hide it. Does anyone else think that the reason it is so shuned might be because so many of us hide our hobby, like it is something to be ashamed off?

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

In all honestly though I don't think a 40k forum is the best place to get advise on this subject and no one can really judge the situation bettter than you, all we can do is mouth off about personal experiences and our opinions based on your original question. Your the one who knows her and yourself and the myriad of other factors that are involved, do what your heart/gut tells you, but don't be in a rush to make up your mind.

Good luck man I hope it works out for you, I really do

I agree with this guy. if you treat it like something you should be ashamed of then you wont get anywhere.
Just make sure you dont start explaining what the models are and what they do. Say "these are vampires that i paint. They are just like Edward from twilight, good guys who are misunderstood"

I have been playing for over 10years now and my GF couldnt care less infact she proberbly likes me doing it as i stop anoying her. And she helps paint mine when the weather is to outside. Not managed to get her to have a game yet but working on that

Tell the truth.

I'm not ashamed of saying I met my girlfriend on a dating site. In my Ad under interests I put: Role-Playing Games, Board Games, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Rock & Heavy Metal music. We've been togther for five years and are very happy. I guess it helps that my girlfriend is an artist so appreciates the creativity of miniatures and role-playing even though she plays neither (despite my nagging).

I really don't care what others think of my hobbies. Usually the ones that mock are the ones smoking & drinking heavily. If that's the other option bring on the plastic

Honestly the amount of people saying "man up and tell her" is rather amusing, since I would consider it a fail Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but whatever (no gf for me :( )

I'd say probably don't hide but don't point it out. Leave it out and carry on as the norm. Wait til she picks up on it. If she does, she'll let you know. Then you can discuss to your heart's content. If she ignores it, then she appears fine with it or she's planning on dropping you. It's a 50/50 but if it was me, I'd expect her to drop me in a heartbeat.

Show her the Dark Eldar codex and explain that she is now your captive...Chicks dig freaky stuff.

I have had my hobby longer than I have had girlfriends.

Don't make me choose (not that I have had to, mind).

SpankHammer III wrote:

But then again I don't understand why "hide it" or "tell her" are the two options. Both those options make it out to be a big deal, be nonchalant about it, don't hide it but don't rub it in her face either. if it comes up it comes up and deal with it accordingly. As several people have already mentioned if it does come up and she freaks, her.

I've got to agree with this. If you make it out to be a big deal, it will be a big deal. But if she asks, you should tell her the truth. After all, if she is truly 'the One' then starting out by lying is hardly a great way to start.

My advice would be not to make a big thing of it and/or freak out. If it comes up, the correct answer is to casually say 'yeah, I enjoy painting models,' or 'I sometimes play a game with my friends at the local GW (or where-ever it is you play.)' The incorrect answer is 'Dude yes I play 40K this is my Blood Marine captain my army is the best OMG this guy has so many attacks and he's really hard and his armour is the best in the imperium and this is amazing you have to play too dreadnaughts are awesome too *head expolodes*'

Believe me, the more of a fuss you make about it, the more crazy she will think you are. And while a good relationship can thrive on a small amount of crazy, too much will kill her affections like an angry squig in an orphanage.

I dated nerdy girls in high school and I dated "cool" girls in high school. Just don't act like a spaz about whatever you like and you should do fine. Saying "I had a fun game with the guys today, it was really close!" is better than going into a turn by turn breakdown of every action of the game, replete with Captain Marysuelius striking down Plague Champion Fartrot in the 5th turn with his master crafted relic blade, "The Power."

So yeah, don't be a spaz.

She just saw "d'awwwwww, they're so small and cute"... they're Space Wolves xD

When i met my fiance i really didn't let her know right away... but she eventually saw my case and explained what everything was. She didn't seem very interested and laughed calling me a nerd and i ended up cutting down on my gaming as old friends dropped out of the hobby and the 'good' staff at GW moved onto other jobs...

Then i made her into a nerd

She had never seen Star Wars, LOTR, Indiana Jones, or any other cool movie actually... so i made her watch those, and she loved them, so theres stage 1 complete!
She also had trouble sleeping so i used to tell her about the 40k universe and its little intricasies (spelling?) to help her doze off, stage 2.
(Shes actually very interested in what Cypher is upto...)

Eventually i got back into gaming at full steam and she dropped in a few times to see the mysterious place where i go every thursday night and she actually enjoyed it (Stage 3), and stole some of my Eldar to paint pink (stage 4).... (so there is a downside...)
So far she's notched up 6 wins from 8 games (One was a doubles game, 4 were with me helping with general advice and being more or less a talking rulebook) (stage 5)

Shes currently at the stage when i can talk about something 40k related and she can 90% of what i'm going on about.

So there my plan! here it is in bullet-points

- Stage 1 - Get her into nerdy things. Like LOTR.
- Stage 2 - Slowly leak 40k information into her subconcious when she is semi-concious.
- Stage 3 - Get her to watch you play, and meet your friends (if their nice, and remind them to get rid of their gamer funk)
- Stage 4 - Let her paint something pink, possibly with hello kitty banners.
- Stage 5 - Get her to win, if she plays you and gets crushed she will loose interest.

Don't hide it, but don't get really excited about it if she asks about it. If you get weird about the hobby, then the hobby IS weird at least to her. I thought the same thing back 1996 when I was a sophomore. I thought I needed to hide D&D and Star Wars d6. I didn't need to bring it up at first but when it finally came up I acted like it wasn't a big deal because frankly it isn't. She realized after some time that I was more interested in her but I always kept a night with the friends staying up to 5 AM playing D&D.

In a way she was a little jealous of the game. But I never acted like it was very important. If you start going "OMG this guy's name is Chapter Master Seth and wields a chainsword that he uses to dispatch Tyranids!!! Oh tyranids are sort of like the creatures that Lt. Ripley fought in the 80's. You probably remember the sames Aliens in the more recent (And horrible films) called Aliens Vs. Predator. I should probably now tell you my top ten reasons for hating those movies! #1 Predators are NOT pro wrestlers! #2..." etc.

You start acting like that and the hobby is weird, you are weird, and the relationship is going to fall apart. Unless she already digs Warhammer and Aliens. The chances of that are slim so keep that inner nerd in check.

Anyways, we have been married since 2000, so there you go.

BTW if you need to rest of the I hate AVP because of these reasons list, just PM me.

EDIT: WOW I have already gotten several requests for the list. I guess people hate that movie as much as me.

Basically what everyone else is saying. Don't be a spaz about it. Treat it like any other hobby. Unless she is an elitist ***** she will most likely be tolerant at the very least.

You could just get lucky and find an artistic closet nerd like my girlfriend, who after watching me paint, model, and lose games decided to start an Ork army. She demolished my Chaos Marines in her first 1000pt intro game. I was so proud

Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

As others have said, a lot of good advice in this thread, but even more bad.

Honestly? I agree with those saying to not hide it. It's part of who you are, don't hide who you are, that never works out. Unless you're a serial killer. Well, that still doesn't work out because she'd eventually find out, and then you would have to kill her, then that's just one big mess that how in the hell are you going to explain to your mom?

No, seriously. If she thinks it's weird and dumps you, she's a filthy bitch anyways. If she rolls with it, good for you and her. I'm a freshman in college now (went right back to school, so yes, I was in high school this time last year), but last year I finally started dating the girl I liked for over three years, we'd been dating for a little over a month when I decided to start Warhammer, I said screw it, hiding/chickening out isn't going to do any good, so I told her that I was going to buy these "Tyranids" and start a little gaming group with a few of my buddies. Yeah, she now regularly goes with me to Air Traffic (no GWS around here, AT has all my Warhammer needs) and even comes over to hang out with us while we play 40k games at my house. She constantly tells me how much she likes the miniatures I've painted and thinks it's great that I'm in this hobby.

Not every story is going to turn out like that, but hey, when you find the one, it may.

papathrax wrote:Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

Which you won't get if you spend all your time posting on a 40k forum.

My GF calls it "playing with toys" and my local gaming club is "Geek Club" to her. She doesnt meant it maliciously however and is completely uninterested in the hobby in all forms, this however is wonderfull, If i ever want time to myself I just start painting or sticking or reading through my codex collection.

Also she has no idea of what is new, old or expensive, "what these old things?" I say as she glances at a cluster of new models on my desk "I've had em for ages just not got around to painting em yet". I find girls can be funny about how much money you spend on something they view as toys but if she has no interest in it she doesnt need to know does she?

Dude its a hobby not a crack addiction........ well not really anyway lol

My mrs is part of the cool crowd, listens to "cool" music "no idea what cool music is these days grunge is about as cool as i ever got lol) and goes clubbin and all that but she doesnt have aproblem with it, when we first got together i was a bit ah hell how do i tell a cool chick im a geek, first time she came to my gaff i just left my 40k were i normally left it (everywere and my kitchen a complete mess with it paintin stuff lol) all she said was "whats the toy soldiers about" couldnt really argue there not toy soldiers just explained bout 40k and she was like fair enough. were now gettin marrie dand have a kid so not like every woman will you off over a game, some will but there not really who you wanna be with anyway.

This smells of troll

This Thread has made me lol so many times

gloomygrim wrote:
Dude its a hobby not a crack addiction........ well not really anyway lol

Brother SRM wrote:

papathrax wrote:
Get to be so good in bed (and a few other aspects of the whole relationship game) it doesn't matter what your other hobbies are.

Which you won't get if you spend all your time posting on a 40k forum.

Juvieus Kaine wrote:Honestly the amount of people saying "man up and tell her" is rather amusing, since I would consider it a fail Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but whatever (no gf for me :( )

I'd say probably don't hide but don't point it out. Leave it out and carry on as the norm. Wait til she picks up on it. If she does, she'll let you know. Then you can discuss to your heart's content. If she ignores it, then she appears fine with it or she's planning on dropping you. It's a 50/50 but if it was me, I'd expect her to drop me in a heartbeat.

The points are there's a lot more to a person than one of their hobbies, one shouldn't lie to someone one has a realtionship (of any sort with), one shouldn't lie to people anyway and one should not be ina a relationship where one person doesn't respect the other.
Enter 'I play 40k', when I start to play I was already in an established relationship. I talked about it for a couple of weeks, showed her some pictures and went over the game and the universes (with what was very patchy knowledge). Talked about which army to start, and actually asked for her opinion - not one 'what can I beat with?' but 'what's the best to have a blast with?'. We settled on Orks, I encouraged her to help me paint (little hands ^_^ ). We spent many morning, afternoons and nights either watching media and painting or one of us playing video games or sudying of me assembling.

So, it more than possible for anyone, to show their partner the game. Just let them know about why you're interested, what particular elements appeal to you. Ask for their opinion, but be prepared in some cases one could have to dig for a genuine answer as to what's wrong (or right ) with your interests in the hobby from their perspective. One does have to sway one's partner to like the gave or even totally approve of where your money is going! It's just acceptance, once it's all out of the closet people are usually a lot happier and often interested

Jaon wrote:

Shas'O Dorian wrote:Option 1: You are only interested in the short term "High-school-relationship" that will probably end in a year or two, definitely when you go to different colleges.

Option 2: You actually care about this person and want to try & make things last.

For option one, hide it.

For option two, tell her maybe not right now, but don't try to hide it forever. Be open, be honest (Girls hate guys who lie) & if she can't accept you for who you are then she isn't worth it and there are probably other reasons you two will break up. If you think you can hide something forever you can't. Women are the real life inquisition, the eye that sleepeth not, to them innocence proves nothing and the only way to absolve you is through pain & suffering. =I=

That is beautiful. Sig'd.

x2

Dude you're a dork. Just like the rest of us. OWN IT. Eventually that hot dork chick is going to come along and you'll be golden.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:"40K and your girlfriend"

I have no experience with one of those subjects.

This is hilarious if you are a WHFB player... and sad if you're a 40k player

My current girlfriend is a pain in the greater good about it, but we're both in our mid 20's and she still lives with her parents, so she DARES not play the "immature" card.

It doesn't help that the first game she saw me playing against, was against a REALLY annoying 13 year old.

After she met a few of the players "my age" that I associate with, who are total closet wargamers and can still integrate into normal society, she lightened up a little bit about it. Recently she said something to the tune of "You know, there is a lot of really genius strategy in that game..."

The etheral caste brainwashing techniques must be working. She will join The Greater Good soon... BWWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Get to know her deeper. You'll be able to tell eventually what her reaction will be towards your models. If its negative just hit it and quit it.

40k > girl who won't let you be yourself

If she in the so-call "Cool Crowd" and you trying to impress her by not being true to yourself first....then you are lieing to yourself. You need to know one thing about women ......There are many fishes in the pond......and people fail to see the sign that states " Catch and Release"...there are many other women out there in the world. Truth me on this one.

It's a hobby, a good one, at least you won't end up getting high on crack/alcohol and poor because you want to be 'cool'.

If she ask, just tell her it's a hobby. Don't try to explain ALL DETAILS at once to her. Do it like a normal conversation. If she really likes to know more, then proceed. The world is not only about black and white, there are far more other options (in your case, hobby) to choose from.

Organize your time table. Know when to date, study, exercise and do your hobby. If you grown up without knowing how to manage your time, it will be very difficult for you to achieve a goal.

Buy a Warhammer Fantasy Squig and leave it out for her to find.

I have read that women like squigs. YMMV.

LMAO, warhammer probably kept me from losing my virginity for six months...

Am with a long term partner now, and she knows I read the books (and takes the mick out of it)...haven't got any models in a while, (prob due to our 6 month old son though!)

Some girls like it, some girls don't mind, some think its terribly sad. It is sad, but being men, I think we need to have a sad hobby and imo it beats watching sport or something...

My advice to you is, tell her, as she's probably found out, but do other stuff to make you fit in more, IE go to gigs, work out, anything else that's more socially accepted.

I for one am lucky to have a girlfriend who accepts my hobby and appreciates my interests, I too took the risk of telling her. She was completely cool with it, but as others have said: if she judges you on your wargaming hobby alone, is she really that special?

Tell her, be up front about it. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a habitual liar-- if a woman was lying about her hobby, men would bash her, call her a lying slut, and do other nasty things. No need for a double standard.

Very well said!

^ to be quite honest my GF knew I had 40K but didn't had a clue as to what it really was....we've been going out almost 4yrs now & I started playing back in '95....since then I stopped & only started up again after she told me there's a ''Warhammer shop'' aka ' The Battle Bunker ' only 2 blocks from where she works & she told me I should go check it out.....@ the time ( 4 MONTHS ago ) I had :

THEN :2 Predator,3 HQ, 17 Grey Hunters & 5 terminator army.........


FOR NOW : 7 HQ, 13 Terminators ( incl. An HQ Rune Priest ), Bjorn the Fell-handed Dreadnought ( HQ ),12 Long fangs with squad leaders ( total 15 ), 5 scouts, 20 Grey hunters, 20 Blood Claws, 10 Skyclaws, Predator, Razorback, Vindicator, 2 Rhinos, 2 Land Raider Crusaders, 3 Drop Pods

I have started to explain the rules etc to her &
yesterday she came along for a game to spectate & loved it so much that next week she's joining with her own ORK army I've bought her for now ( starting small )

She really enjoined watching all the different games that were being played & appreciated all the effort & detailing that went into the creation of the armies that was there......& she's super amped to become a gamer herself.


So in my case I owe the entire 'new' 40K experiance & future of my gaming to her & I love her to bits for doing so













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^ must add......she also buy & reads the WARHAMMER 40K books & Novels with me

I happen to agree with those who say "Don't hide it, but don't shove it in her face". Some of the coolest women i know love geeky stuff. even some of the popular stuff. I got my wife into it merely by inviting her to some D&D when we were broke and were so bored we could cry. She's still not into 40k, but thats more of a confidence thing on her part.
If you're lucky, she'll get into it. if not, she won't. but if she dumps you over it... personally after the initial hurt was stepped over I'd be laughing my ass off. Anyone that shallow... why be around someone like that?

I don't understand what the big fuzz is all about.

It's just a war-game, played by people of all ages.

If she doesn't understand it, then she is a) to young in her mind or b) narrow minded.

I would never lie about such a thing, it's better to be fair, especially if you truly love someone.
Lies always get revealed at some point and they are mostly (if not always) the start of a decaying relationship, even if you don't know it yet at the point of lying.

Trust is everything.

But I wonder, if you have to hide something like that from her, does she actually really love you? I am not suggesting anything really, but I don't understand why you have to ask advice about such a 'silly' problem on a forum.
You should never change who you are just to please a girl/boy, it's not worth it, at least not in the long run.

If it's just about sex, then don't tell her lol.

warhammer is a part of you, it's like having 193 brothers and trying to hide all of them because she might not like them, if she doesn't then it's not her problem, I'm not gonna blow sunshine and rainbows up your ass, you won't be happy but if she won't mind(not having you) then maybe it's not worth it. But don't lie, as a rule of the universe lying only causes problems, and we're honor bound as humans not to decieve. Don't introduce your battle brethren as something stigmatic, and don't get weird about it, the more normal it seems at first the better the reaction will be.
But it's not anyone's place to give anyone a definite.

most importantly, don't do what i did, no open public fanboyness. as a group people will be uncertain on how to react and so to be safe they will treat it as weird, permanantly alienating you.
no pressure though

I'm sure throughout the last 5 pages you've gotten mixed advice.

I've dealt with this and it's not as delicate a situation as you may think.

1. Don't be a spaz about her finding out. If you treat the hobby like a secret alternate life it's only going to put a negative connotation on the hobby and lead to no good. If you do this, you've lost the race before you've even left the starting line.

2. Don't worry about telling her. Again, this can put a negative connotation on the hobby if you uncomfortably bring up the topic. It can give the impression that you need to 'come clean' about your dirty little secrets.

3. Do not force it on her. Should she find out don't try to explain too much. Only answer the questions she asks and try to answer them in a manner that will not confuse her.

4. Just let it be. It is what it is and it's something you enjoy. If you treat it as copasetic, then so will she.

Oh and the other big thing is not to mistake a polite interest for a desire to know all about it, theres nothing worse than making conversation only to be flooded by niche information that means little to you.

dont correct her every time she assumes something wrong about the genetic make-up of a space marine for example lol.

I got lucky in the sense my wife is fairly geeky and when we dated in High School she would be more then happy to tag along to our FLGS. She would also play various games with us, hell she has her own Necrons. But I found the best way to deal with it for other girls I've been with, or even coworkers who still think life is a popularity contest (8 years after I've graduated) know your audience. If the girl your seeing is super uptight, and worried about her reputation more than anything. I just wouldn't mention it to her. If she sees em I'd explain it as being your artistic outlet, I've also described it as a really complex game of chess or RISK in the past. Some folks just think it's "odd" and others laugh, but it doesn't impact my relation with any of them save a few. And the few it does? I'd rather know early on how I'm going to consider them, either a friend or a coworker.

When dealing with girlfriends, it's a bit different but not horribly. If it seems like a girl who is pretty open minded (or maybe she has a collection of some odd item of her own, stuffed animals, dolls, ect) then it would get brought up casually. If they freak and dump me on the spot? Well glad I didn't invest that much time or energy into em. If it's a girl who is a bit more narrow minded or who isn't as open to new things, I'd keep it closer to my chest. Don't show them all your crazy at one time, it has to be done in bits and pieces if you expect them to accept it. They still might bounce rather than date a "nerd" and if so, well so be it. But if they've already invested that time into you, chances are better they'll hang around.

Given your a freshman in HS, I wouldn't care to much about it. If she accepts it, awesome, if not, their are tons of other girls out there. And who knows, she may surprise and at least support it, if not be willing to try a friendly game or two. Just be willing to do something she wants to do, even if it's shoe shopping or going with her to the salon. Compromise is where it's at and works both ways.

Slarg232 wrote:Buy a Warhammer Fantasy Squig and leave it out for her to find.

I have read that women like squigs. YMMV.

Lol, best one I've heard yet. Sigd