So, I don't get the beard love here on dakka. Everybody claims beards are epic. I, on the other hand, am more a man (read lad aged 16) of the moustache. I gladly shave off my sprouting beard in favor of a tastefull moustache. Can someone explain me the Beard love?
The moustache, well executed, can transcend even the beard in awesomeness. However, to achieve such glorious results it must be grown to a thickness greater than an inch - the so called Mercury Minimum. Ideally, it should also develop its own flair, either the classic Mexican Bandito twirl, a french twist or flick, or the daring catfish barbels. All of these require a 'stache of exceptional thickness and body (much like a porn star) and utilize the bareness of the chin to flaunt their facial hair.
Think of it as a two-piece beard, and ask yourself if you're the sort of guy that would wear a bikini if he were a lady. do you really have the facial assets to pull it off and turn heads without people wandering where the rest of it is?
If yes, lucky you! Go enjoy your soup strainer. If no, I highly recommend the stylish goatee. It is a classy statement of manliness that looks equally at home in the office, or relaxing by the pool.
Beards tend to be a little harder to screw up than mustaches - how many names can you think of off the top of your head for bad beards, as opposed to ones for a bad 'stache?
I am a moustache sporting man myself...... if i shave the bloody thing off though i look like i am 12. And i would rock a beard if my culinary instructors would not toss me into an oven
Me irl after a shower yesterday. How can you argue a stashe isn't cool?
Please note my 'almost chops' sideburns. Once they reach chops-hood, I'll be so happy lol
A 'techno tash' can look pretty cool but i would combo it with a lil patch under the bottom lip, Johnny Depp style. I just make do with modest sideburns i've had for a couple of years. I am not a very hairy person which in a way is fortunate as the hairy ones in my family were bald by 22. Just got this damn neckbeard that grows at 3-4 times the rate of anything else. EDIT @ Lucifer you need to trim the middle, is infringing the lip, makes it look messy/bumfluffy.
Perkustin wrote:A 'techno tash' can look pretty cool but i would combo it with a lil patch under the bottom lip, Johnny Depp style. I just make do with modest sideburns i've had for a couple of years. I am not a very hairy person which in a way is fortunate as the hairy ones in my family were bald by 22. Just got this damn neckbeard that grows at 3-4 times the rate of anything else. EDIT @ Lucifer you need to trim the middle, is infringing the lip, makes it look messy/bumfluffy.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Me irl after a shower yesterday. How can you argue a stashe isn't cool?
Please note my 'almost chops' sideburns. Once they reach chops-hood, I'll be so happy lol
Yeah, it sure ain't cool. Shave that hideous thing. You don't need to be wearing any facial hair until you are able to grow non patchy hair, or if you are dating a hippy chick with hair in her pits.
Mustaches - In current American society, having one is hard to pull off. Whether you believe it or not, having many styles actually can label you as Gay, especially if you are either a short male, or a super star model with a hairless body and 6 packs. There is a strong aversion to mustaches because usually pedophiles have them as seen on t.v., and this is what sticks into most people's back-brain. There is actually something unsettling about having a mustache. Oddly enough, if you have a 'crazy' mustache, such as a handle bar or German swoosh style 'staches, they can be seen as very unique, distinct and manly.
Beards - SHAVE. YOUR. NECK. It does many things. Shaving your neck makes you appear thinner with a sharper jaw line. It shows you have class. Having a full beard can be seen as a sign of a lumberjack/hillbilly/mountain man. If you sport a beard for X weeks/months, then shave it, you will appear years younger to people for about half the time you had the beard. Also, don't attempt to grow a beard unless you can grow a beard that is full and not patchy. Patchy hair makes you look dirty and disgusting. If you can only grow patchy hair, God didn't intent for you to have one. Unless you are a dumpster diving hippy.
Mustaches two thumbs down unless you are going nutz.
Beards two thumbs up only if you know how to wear one.
Facial Hair is almost always a bad decision. Don't ruin a perfectly good face by stapling a rat to it. A mustache is all that much worse because you not only look like you stapled a rat to your face but it's a creepy rat. A creepy rat that probably molests children, or ties people to train tracks, or has a mullet or some combination of those three.
Chongara wrote:Facial Hair is almost always a bad decision. Don't ruin a perfectly good face by stapling a rat to it. A mustache is all that much worse because you not only look like you stapled a rat to your face but it's a creepy rat. A creepy rat that probably molests children, or ties people to train tracks, or has a mullet or some combination of those three.
I'll agree with this 100%. Facial hair is hard to pull off unless you have found 'your look'. That kind of facial hair that looks good on you and only you.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:Me irl after a shower yesterday. How can you argue a stashe isn't cool?
Please note my 'almost chops' sideburns. Once they reach chops-hood, I'll be so happy lol
mustach + no beard = one of a few things...
balding child molester
stuck in 1975 aging ex disco/porn king
fat hairy biker dude with an origional black sabbath concert t-shirt almost covering his beergut
creepy 80s guy who still tries to pick up 18 yr olds in his brown camaro
cop
I do not approve of any of the above. Either cut it all off or grow it all out. one or the other means you spend too much time worrying about it in the mirror like a girl.
I tried in vain to grow a beard and moustache combo over Christmas period but failed miserably. I think I am destined to be one of those unfortunates who are never able to express their fondness for facial hair.
Shame really because it is one of the fundamental tenets of the Chap manifesto:
mustach + no beard = one of a few things...
balding child molester
stuck in 1975 aging ex disco/porn king
fat hairy biker dude with an origional black sabbath concert t-shirt almost covering his beergut
creepy 80s guy who still tries to pick up 18 yr olds in his brown camaro
cop
I do not approve of any of the above. Either cut it all off or grow it all out. one or the other means you spend too much time worrying about it in the mirror like a girl.
Sometimes the stupidity/humor of certain facial hair style is half the fun. It isn't like it is a permanent alteration
I find it an interesting observation that on a forum in which some many people where/are so quick to defend tattoos (some of which are just as cheesy/stupid as any mustache or beard pictured here) and poo poo anyone who objected to them that we have people this up in arms about facial hair (which can be removed or altered in minutes).
Does not compute.
IF you want to grow a silly/stupid/massive mustache or beard, go ahead. What is the harm really?
Mustaches tend to look creepy on almost anyone in this day and age.
Goatees are horrible and should be reserved for evil twins only...to avoid confusion.
I usually rock a well groomed beard through the winter months as I get crazy razor rash that I haven't found a good way to avoid, but it gets too itchy and drives me crazy after a while
If it didn't drive me crazy I would rock the beard all year long
CT GAMER wrote:Sometimes the stupidity/humor of certain facial hair style is half the fun. It isn't like it is a permanent alteration
For sure!
I've been rocking this one for a couple of years. Once people understand I'm not too serious about it it's a source of fun.
Sorry to shatter your world. But you look like a profile stereoypical sociopath.
Deliverance anyone?
Sorry to shatter yours avatarform but I think he already stated that he knows it is silly and that is the fun of having it.
Lighten up....
The fun of an intentionally bad mustaches is to grow the cheesiest/silliest WTF inducing one possible and watch the reactions of people like yourself. The stupid things that people say about them and the fact that they don't get the joke is half the fun...
I grow a beard, then shave it about once a month. Despite being in my 30's I cannot grow a decent stache, I am half native american and am lucky to have any facial hair at all!
CT GAMER wrote:Sometimes the stupidity/humor of certain facial hair style is half the fun. It isn't like it is a permanent alteration
For sure!
I've been rocking this one for a couple of years. Once people understand I'm not too serious about it it's a source of fun.
Sorry to shatter your world. But you look like a profile stereoypical sociopath.
Deliverance anyone?
Sorry to shatter yours avatarform but I think he already stated that he knows it is silly and that is the fun of having it.
Lighten up....
The fun of an intentionally bad mustaches is to grow the cheesiest/silliest WTF inducing one possible and watch the reactions of people like yourself. The stupid things that people say about them and the fact that they don't get the joke is half the fun...
Except that first impressions last...
Others who see him for the first time will immediately attach similarly negative connotations.
It may be fun for him, but it may also lead to missed opportunities and negative consequences... eg. legal profiling.
Trust me, in my line of work it's actually a benefit.
"Who was that weird dude with the moustach on the meeting?"
"Oh, that was <name>, the graphic designer."
"Ah, figures. Artists... "
Don't worry, I'm a grown up man and can handle any negative connotations the 'stasch gives.
First months was kinda weird though. I had no idea that the trucker-stasch had such effect on people. Now it's pretty easy to see which ones are weirded out by it and defuse any "Are you a sociopathic serial killer?" stuff. (Or enhance it when teen-girls are freaked out by it. I'm going to hell >_<
I wouldn't recommend having this type of facial hair if you are working in sales though. And trim it down before the first meeting with important stuck-up clients. The Lemmy-look doesn't go well with financial types. (Or just let your creative director do the talking)
ETA: Burt, although he had awesome facial hair in Deliverance, didn't have a 'stasch going below his mouth IIRC?
While showering , I decided to kill two birds with one stone and trim my stashe in the shower. Bad idea. After lightly bringing my razor across the bristles, I did at double take and stared in horror at the ungodly huge chuck of hair that came out. Needless to say, I had to shave the rest off
So here you all are, tell me if telling me to shave was worth it
Automatically Appended Next Post: Also, now you can see why I keep a stashe....
my lips are too vibrant a color (they look just as bad irl. I hate it.)
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:I hope you are all happy with yourselves.
While showering , I decided to kill two birds with one stone and trim my stashe in the shower. Bad idea. After lightly bringing my razor across the bristles, I did at double take and stared in horror at the ungodly huge chuck of hair that came out. Needless to say, I had to shave the rest off
So here you all are, tell me if telling me to shave was worth it
Automatically Appended Next Post: Also, now you can see why I keep a stashe....
my lips are too vibrant a color (they look just as bad irl. I hate it.)
Others who see him for the first time will immediately attach similarly negative connotations.
It may be fun for him, but it may also lead to missed opportunities and negative consequences... eg. legal profiling.
All people judge others by a host of meaningless criteria and based upon a range of things that are largely superficial.
In fact for every choice you make that someone like you deems positive or "normal" someone else sees it as negative.
IF we judged people by the choice of their avatars for example...
If you think he's being odd here wait till you hear avatar's ideas on appropriate dress attire for interviews - I don't agree with his ideas and find them peculiar
Others who see him for the first time will immediately attach similarly negative connotations.
It may be fun for him, but it may also lead to missed opportunities and negative consequences... eg. legal profiling.
All people judge others by a host of meaningless criteria and based upon a range of things that are largely superficial.
In fact for every choice you make that someone like you deems positive or "normal" someone else sees it as negative.
IF we judged people by the choice of their avatars for example...
If you think he's being odd here wait till you hear avatar's ideas on appropriate dress attire for interviews - I don't agree with his ideas and find them peculiar
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:But then I can't pass of as Shaggy!
Dude. Sorry. You can't pull off the beard. The 'stache is iffy, at best. Remain clean shaven.
I remain clean shaven as well. I never liked the feel of a mustache or beard. If you have a beard, keep it trim and your neck smooth. Neck hair is disgusting.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:But then I can't pass of as Shaggy!
(aka: no. I REALLY want chops, and 'burns take longer to grow. Maybe chin will be trimmed, maybe not)
The chin it looks uneven, keep the chops if you want also you look younger now.
It IS uneven, but it curls down under my chin. You can only see it uneven when its wet
Automatically Appended Next Post:
kronk wrote:
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:But then I can't pass of as Shaggy!
Dude. Sorry. You can't pull off the beard. The 'stache is iffy, at best. Remain clean shaven.
I remain clean shaven as well. I never liked the feel of a mustache or beard. If you have a beard, keep it trim and your neck smooth. Neck hair is disgusting.
Stashe looks better when dry, but its gone now
Also, it was a joke. I don't mind having a beard, but I HATE being clean shaven.
So I'm wondering to those Dakkanauts with a beard and/or tach, any tips on who to keep in presentable.
I'm trying to loose three stone over the next year, and I thought to make things interesting whille I'm hopefully loosing weight, I'll be gaining chin and under the nose hair.
You know just to blow folks I know minds from two angles.
So yeah, for the first time ever in my 37years I am trying to grow a mustache, goatee combo, a bit like 'evil' Spock, might even go for the whole pointy bit at the bottom.
Any advice on how to care for it. I was thinking on buying one of these trimmer kit things. Are they worth it, or will a good old pair of nail scissors and patience bring about the same results?
Any advice will be appreciated.
Oh and I'm nearly two weeks in, so my mustache has got to, spikey, its sticking out in odd directions, could do with a brush and trim time.
The electric razor is indispensable when it comes to high quality facial hair. Well, not indispensable, but far more convenient than the alternative; basically shaving every day, using the scissors you mentioned, and obtaining a straight razor for those times you might let it go a bit.
I'm pretty sure Lemmy Kilmister's facial hair resembles a mustache more than beard and according to Wikipedia he has slept with over 1200 women, (I however remain doubtful) so therefore I think it's safe to conclude that the mustache wins more
Ruglud wrote:
From left to right, Mr. T, Jerry Garcia, Abe Lincoln, Shakespeare, Darwin, van Gogh, Freud, Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead and Frederick Douglass
Ruglud wrote:
From left to right, Mr. T, Jerry Garcia, Abe Lincoln, Shakespeare, Darwin, van Gogh, Freud, Lemmy Kilmister from Motorhead and Frederick Douglass
No Marx?
I long to grow "The Marx" but I'm currently in process of the "Lenin"
Why do lefties all ways have the best beards?
Also, cant believe no-ones mentioned the Wargamers Traditional "NeckBeard"
What's the origin of the neckbeard? Thankfully there's not much of them here in the cold north. Or I've only seen one in my lifetime (and that sure was enough).
Where beards can compliment and distiguish ones self, A tashe should only be used for the strict purpose of humor and/or costume parties, I myself have sported a goatee or beard since I was 17, and only bust out the tashe in November for Movember to raise money for charity, this year i shall be donning the ever popular with the ladies 'magician' style tashe, also the fact that the idea of growing a tashe for charity says in itself that they should not be unleashed on the public on a daily basis, this is not because the ladies can't contain themselves and throw panties at us while we walk down the street, but because they actually do not like a gentleman with a tashe! hence...I sport a beard! not as good as Kingcracker's beard but none the less, good for me :-)
Cheesecat wrote:I'm pretty sure Lemmy Kilmister's facial hair resembles a mustache more than beard and according to Wikipedia he has slept with over 1200 women, (I however remain doubtful) so therefore I think it's safe to conclude that the mustache wins more
Or it's also possible that some other traits override the inherent, repellent affect of the mustache. That thing is just plan horrible.
In fact I had pretty much this exact conversation with my roommate after watching a movie where a mustache like that had a lot of screen time:
Me: "Ugh, he really needs to shave. That thing is an eyesore"
Her: "Really? It's awesome"
Me: "You've to be kidding, it's gross"
Her: "Well yeah, I could never date or touch a man with a mustache like that, but it's still awesome in a way"
Me: "I guess I get what you're saying, but still"
So yeah. A mustache might make you a neat side-show, something kind of cool to gawk at, like a car crash, explosion, crazed badger or a mullet. However like all those things it's not really something most people want to get close to.
Army allows us to grow a mustache, however my unit will not allow it.
You see there's a rule about mustaches in the Army (if you're an infantryman)
If you see a man with a mustache in the Army, he probably:
1.Has a better job than you
2.Gets paid more
3.I WANT HIS MUSTACHE!!!!
CT GAMER wrote:Sometimes the stupidity/humor of certain facial hair style is half the fun. It isn't like it is a permanent alteration
For sure!
I've been rocking this one for a couple of years. Once people understand I'm not too serious about it it's a source of fun.
Sorry to shatter your world. But you look like a profile stereoypical sociopath.
Deliverance anyone?
Sorry to shatter yours avatarform but I think he already stated that he knows it is silly and that is the fun of having it.
Lighten up....
The fun of an intentionally bad mustaches is to grow the cheesiest/silliest WTF inducing one possible and watch the reactions of people like yourself. The stupid things that people say about them and the fact that they don't get the joke is half the fun...
Except that first impressions last...
Others who see him for the first time will immediately attach similarly negative connotations.
It may be fun for him, but it may also lead to missed opportunities and negative consequences... eg. legal profiling.
couple of years? must be a joke that never gets better with time...
No you need a handle bar mustache
You will look like an Agatha Christie villain and you have the bonus of twisting it around your finger while you tie various women to rail road tracks...
In response to the OP, I have no idea about why there is a Beard vs. Mustache debate at all, not that I look down upon either one...
However, to state the virtue of my clean shaven preference:
When the communist nazi zombie death robots from outer space begin gassing the planet, I will be one of the few, proud survivors able to achieve a positive seal on his gas mask!
This does not apply to either Chris Costa or Chuck Norris, who simply use their beard as an ad-hoc (and supremely effective) air filter.
