2.) Roll every single dice one by one, and claim that this pleases the Dice Gods. If you do actually get better rolls, praise the Dice gods endlessly. If not, say your opponent's mass rolling is pissing the Dice Gods off.
3) If he disagrees with you on a rules issue, vehemently deny, and when he proves you wrong, grumble to yourself something about Tzeentch cursing the rulebook.
4.) Play with reserves. One of the reasons I stopped using Al'Rahem (among many) was that I kept on getting groans and eye-rolls when 50 guardsmen suddenly deployed off of one of the table edges. Likewise, people seem to get bothered by deepstrikers and the like.
5.) Neutralize your opponent's shiniest unit. You get 2x annoyance points when neutralizing = tar pitting.
6.) Play a horde army. 2x douche points for not letting your opponent take a smoke break while you deploy.
Play with a crossreferenced photocopy folder to support a 'logical' Dubious RAW argment.
Take longer to move 3 Landraiders than it takes your opponent to move 180 Orks
Take a personal phone call in the moddle of a game, during your shooting phase, and not hang up for 10 mins, at a Tournament !! (actually happened :( )
12.) Play Tau and take the Space Pope. If you win, mention how you were basically playing with a 200 point handicap. If you loose, tell him the same thing.
13.) Play Nids and bring at least one Broodlord. Use Hypnotic Gaze upon one of the most unlikely (but still legal) units. Then talk about how the broodlord transformed into said unit's object of affection and make kissy noises. Double the fun if you can keep this up for several combat phases in a row ( I did this to an Avatar once. Managed to Gaze him for three turns in a row and claimed how he saw Isha and was thinking of lewd thoughts).
Ascalam wrote:Take a personal phone call in the moddle of a game
Oh, my God. Tournament or not, that would bug me.
Actually, what would bother me more is if my opponent started texting during a game... when it's their turn...
Oh and I'd add...
14.) Kill your opponent's most precious unit with Gifts of Chaos.
Opponent: Oh, man, mephiston is so awesome! He once killed a demon prince with his bare hands! He eats chaos space marines for breakfast and then asks for more. I can't believe how badass mephiston is!
You: I can't believe how much of a chaos spawn he is now...
Ascalam wrote:Take a personal phone call in the moddle of a game
Oh, my God. Tournament or not, that would bug me.
Actually, what would bother me more is if my opponent started texting during a game... when it's their turn...
Oh and I'd add...
14.) Kill your opponent's most precious unit with Gifts of Chaos.
Opponent: Oh, man, mephiston is so awesome! He once killed a demon prince with his bare hands! He eats chaos space marines for breakfast and then asks for more. I can't believe how badass mephiston is!
You: I can't believe how much of a chaos spawn he is now...
18. After each turn carry on dramatically about what has happened and role play it with sound effects and arm actions +2 if you bump the table as well.
"OMG YOUR CHAOS SPACE MARINE GOT FACE PWNED BY MY EPIC ULTRAMARINE MIGHTY BOLTER ROUND OF DOOM!" *you jump up and pretend your fist is a bolter projectile and slow motion act out punching yourself in the face and making loud noises*
28) Sneeze on a realy well painted model ( a leader of some discription due to a lot of time beeing put into it [i have seen this done but not done it my self])
34. If your opponant summons a greater demon, insist that he was first draw and 8 pointed star around it in chalk, surrond it in incense, and roll on the ground while speaking in tongues.
Text a running battle report while you play, to your friend, while muttering what you are typing. Use unflattering terms for the enemy player/units, brag up yourself/yours. Alter details of the events as you go...
39. Bring a hot pizza and tell your opponent you're going to share. Open the pizza box and throw the steaming, flesh melting pizza at his face and declare victory.
41. Bring a sock puppet to the game and consult with it for every tactical desicion. 42. Bring a small, unmarked box to the game. Ask if your opponent disagrees with Nuclear war. Say no more. 43. Disallow your opponent to move through wooded areas because they're damaging the environment. 44. Stick Chaos Space Marines in your arms using the spikes before the game begins, then run into the room shouting "THEY'RE ALIVE!" 45. Hold a funeral for each one of your models when it dies. Gather everyone round, humm appropriate music, the whole shebang.
46. Put a Callidus Assassin(or Marbo) on your army tray or conveniently close by(say, where your reserves are), regardless of whether they're in your list. Refuse to show your opponent your list.
Claim it pleases the Communist gods and will affect your dice rolls. Invite him to join in and then mock him when he cant properly dance. Bonus points if he actually sticks around and plays the game, double points if you do actually get better rolls. Lost points if he actually knows how to do that dance too.
48. Use a giga melta (paint stripping hot air gun) to melt the most valuble model they have into a puddle of molten plastic
49. use a mega melta (hair drier) to blow over the models
50. drop a hot drink over the board
51. ????
52. profit!
53. Play an entire game with headphones around your neck blaring death metal so your opponent has to yell at you for you to hear and question everything you say because you are speaking softly. (yes this actually happened to me lol)
Little lord Fauntleroy wrote:41. Bring a sock puppet to the game and consult with it for every tactical desicion.
42. Bring a small, unmarked box to the game. Ask if your opponent disagrees with Nuclear war. Say no more.
43. Disallow your opponent to move through wooded areas because they're damaging the environment.
44. Stick Chaos Space Marines in your arms using the spikes before the game begins, then run into the room shouting "THEY'RE ALIVE!"
45. Hold a funeral for each one of your models when it dies. Gather everyone round, humm appropriate music, the whole shebang.
Have done 41...
The rest are sheer genius...
54. Copy your long time opponents fluff or squad names with only slight alterations e.g. Squad Alpha turns into sqaud Shmalpha
Tell your opponent that his girlfriend would have been very displeased with him in bed. If he says he has a girlfriend, tell him he wont have one anymore after this game.
#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
MechaEmperor7000 wrote:Tell your opponent that his girlfriend would have been very displeased with him in bed. If he says he has a girlfriend, tell him he wont have one anymore after this game.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
Hawaiian is my favorite though...
Very tasteful image here... seriously go check if you don't believe me
Is this discrimination gonna be as bad as the prejudice against ginger people?
#59: Bring magnets to every game with bits from every army in the game on them. Mount these bits on all of your vehicles/MCs as trophies, or on the genitals of your infantry models (if applicable)...
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza. Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
Hawaiian is my favorite though...
Very tasteful image here... seriously go check if you don't believe me
Is this discrimination gonna be as bad as the prejudice against ginger people?
When the player of an army with only a few good units/abilities in it used those abilities against you, complain that his army is pure cheese. Works especially well if you are playing cheesy Blood Angels, Wolves or Knights.
So far the "Koala as your tactical adviser is my favorite". I've had the blaring music problem - we play at the youth center of a local church and EVERYONE wants to put on their own music - and play it too loud for Warhammer.
60. Invite your girlfriend/boyfriend who knows nothing about Warhammer, and tell them you'll buy something nice (girlfriend) or...whatever girlfriends entice their men with...>_>...if they ask about all your opponent's models and try to grab them during the game.
EDIT: Yeah, I can also pass on Pineapple. I love having Meat in my mouth! :-D Meat Lovers' for the win.
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
Hawaiian is my favorite though...
Very tasteful image here... seriously go check if you don't believe me
Is this discrimination gonna be as bad as the prejudice against ginger people?
Hope not, Hawaiian's my fave, too.
You people make me sick. Pineapple on pizza? Gross.
The only thing that belongs on a pizza is meat, cheese and sauce. Best pizza, meatlovers with riccotta cheese. Worse pizza, Vegan special.
61: Play IG, but ask not to play with moral. (I don't know how to play with moral yet because of this. [my friend played IG and got me into the game.])
62: Use the old IG armored company rules.
63: Claim that because your BA based chapter has embraced the red thirst, you get to field nothing but Mephiston clones, and Khorne Berserker clones.
64. Field nothing and say that all of your models haven't come out yet and using GWs rules you are using their non-existent models.
65. Field nothing and say that your army like Draigo is in the warp carving their names onto hearts
66.Field eveything you have, trees, cushions, cats. Then say it is a proxy for an apocalypse formation named "Deadly mundanity"
67: Claim you have won the game 68: Tell primarch jokes the entire time. 69: State you are the worlds greatest player, and when he beats you say at making you believe stuff 70: Make jokes with your models. 71: when your oppenent turns his back on you replace every single heavy soldier (Granted enough time) with less expensive units 72: paint rainbows on all your tanks. 73: Sound southern and start proclaiming that the Inqusition is targeting your childern. 74: act nerdier than anyone and tuck in your shirt and wear huge glasses, bring a note pad and pen and mutter to yourself frequently. 75: speak different languages in game 76: give sound effects to everything 77: Give a sports commentary on the game. 78: Sound like Sean Connery 79: pullout the rulebook every time your opponent targets you, telling him you need to check up the rules. 80: role each dice one at a time, with a 2 second delay between each. 81: Grin frequently at the models
83. Dispute the fact he can see you and you aren't in cover even if you are in the open and he can clearly see you. (I'm told the rule book automatically grants you a 5+ cover save if you do )
jadebullet wrote:85: Store your Plague Marines in raw meat and leave it out in the sun for that "Authentic Smell" before each match.
LOL! I approve of that. 86: Inform your opponent that you have entered his mind, and plan on performing inception upon him. 87: Start laughing when you see your opponents models, but when he asks what you laughing at say, "Because I realized I just won."
91: When playing CSM or demons, only speak in tongues at all times while playing. Then try to claim all your models count as ignoring shaken and stunned on the vehicle damage table.
92. Play Tau. Insist that every casualty you take gave his/her life for the greater good.
93. Run a list that consists only of a basic Captain and then as many tacticals with bolters as you can fit into the list (preferable combat squadded or in squads of 5). Include devs with bolter (but no heavy weapons) as necessary. Scouts with bolters may also be included if stretched for points or models. 1+ Points if run against an Ork Greentide.
94.) Take some crap, polish it and carve it into dice shape and make them evidently loaded. Roll them with gloves on. When your opponent gets annoyed at your "magic dice" let him use it. Then at the end of the game tell him what they are.
95.) Bring Laser pointers and point them at your enemy's model and call your pointers lascannons. Go "Zapzap" at a point in the armor and roll for an actual lascannon hit.
95. When your opponent is attempting armor saves, start speaking in Latin tongues. When asked exactly what the hell you're doing, say performing last rites on the soon to be dead models. ( I do this from time to time, just because the other guys in my group get a kick out of it)
MechaEmperor7000 wrote:
95.) Bring Laser pointers and point them at your enemy's model. Go "Zapzap" at a point in the armor and say you inflicted instant death.
100) Take reavers, and insist that the bladevane line is charted by the function A*sin(B*x), where A and B are such that the line curves onto whichever unit you want hit. Spend ungodly amounts of time attempting to calculate these variables. Bonus points for superfluously including derivatives and or integrals to unnecessarily complicate the process. More bonus points if the unit you target is actually on a straight line between the start and end points.
102) Push your opponent's models back every time you suspect they move more than 6 inches (every time you move)
103) Run armies of over 100 models, bunch the units up and don't differentiate the squads
104) Bunch all the models in an army together and claim they receive cover saves because no matter which unit you're shooting at you're shooting through part of another unit
105) Field an army full of terminators with thunder hammers and storm shields
106) Field an IG gunline army that involves doing nothing but rolling dice
107) Use bases instead of actual models because you haven't bought them yet (these have all happened to me)
107. Model all your units to look like this band, play it loudly, humm the tune, and answer every question or statement your oppnent asks with lyrics from the song.
EDIT- and claim that lead singer has a shooting attack named 'Awesomeness', Strength 10, AP 1, Heavy 30000000000, Blast 100', to represent flames of awesomeness.
108. Field an army of exact clones. e.g. every single SM has a bolter and bolt pistol and power armour and there is nothing else on the field but them.
111. Play Orks and yell WAAAAAGH at the top of your longs in the middle of the match.
*I've seen this happen in almost every tournament...their seems to be that guy. Really it's not original, not intimidating and just plain annoying.
112. Play in a mega-battle/Appoc game at a store and have a WAAAGH off in order to see which side goes first.
113. Claim that both sides could do better than that and have them WAAAG again, bonus points each time you have them repeat it.
*The store I played in used to do this all the time. As soon as I saw it coming I would just walk out of the store and go get a coke from down the street.
114. Play in a tournament and yell Gummy Bear each time you gift of chaos someone. Bonus points for giving your opponent a gummy bear when it happens.
*Saw this happen as well. Fortunately I think the guy got the hint and stopped because I haven't seen him do it since.
115. Really just any unnecessary yelling in the middle of a match.
And a couple of other things
116. Have a lucky marble. Throw it every time you roll dice "for luck".
117. Go to an all day game event and refuse to put on deodorant. Bonus points if your out of shape and have a sweating issue. Extra points in the venue is hot.
118 - When your opponent shows you his list, insist on copying the whole thing onto a notepad. Whenever you or he shoots or assaults a unit, stop the game, look up the appropriate unit on the army list, and go through the entire unit's wargear.
Bonus points for copying onto a small pocket notepad and flipping through the pages.
purplefood wrote:108. Field an army of exact clones. e.g. every single SM has a bolter and bolt pistol and power armour and there is nothing else on the field but them.
purplefood wrote:108. Field an army of exact clones. e.g. every single SM has a bolter and bolt pistol and power armour and there is nothing else on the field but them.
But not all of us like the alpha legion.
The people who don't like the Alpha Legion are actually Alpha Legionnaires.
119 - Each time you decides to shoot/move/assault whatever, say it like "Ok, this squad moves here", then slam yourself in the face and say "Nope, I guess they aren't..."
120 - If you play Slaanesh daemons, pay two belly dancers to stand and dance next to you.
121 - Each time you kill one of your opponents models, laugh maniacally and yell "ONE STEP CLOSER TO WORLD DOMINATION!"
123- Everytime your opponent does anything, including dice roll, moving models, etc, snicker and have a conversation with yourself saying things like "I can't beleive he's doing that", or "What an amateur tactic"
124 - Approach the TO after awards are handed out and ask why you weren't best sportsman. Spend the next 10 minutes arguing with TO that you are best sportsman and demand tied scores split the prize. After being denied, storm off and loudly complain.
Some A-hole did this at a flgs tournament this weekend. Not a very sporting fellow in my opinion.
darwinn69 wrote:111. Play Orks and yell WAAAAAGH at the top of your longs in the middle of the match.
*I've seen this happen in almost every tournament...their seems to be that guy. Really it's not original, not intimidating and just plain annoying.
112. Play in a mega-battle/Appoc game at a store and have a WAAAGH off in order to see which side goes first.
113. Claim that both sides could do better than that and have them WAAAG again, bonus points each time you have them repeat it.
*The store I played in used to do this all the time. As soon as I saw it coming I would just walk out of the store and go get a coke from down the street.
114. Play in a tournament and yell Gummy Bear each time you gift of chaos someone. Bonus points for giving your opponent a gummy bear when it happens.
*Saw this happen as well. Fortunately I think the guy got the hint and stopped because I haven't seen him do it since.
115. Really just any unnecessary yelling in the middle of a match.
And a couple of other things
116. Have a lucky marble. Throw it every time you roll dice "for luck".
117. Go to an all day game event and refuse to put on deodorant. Bonus points if your out of shape and have a sweating issue. Extra points in the venue is hot.
Haha I read these and thought they sounded very familiar then I looked at the user name.
You forgot :
125. Roll individual armor saves for your 20 eldar guardians to make it more exciting!
Battle Brother Lucifer wrote:#. Bring a pizza. Say you will share. Open box to show Hawaiian pizza.
Bonus Points if they don't take any. No points and you must post on dakka about it if Hawaiian is their favorite pizza.
136 (because that is actually where we are - I counted!) - Wear a mask. If your opponent asks why, tell him you don't wan't him to be able to see what you're thinking on your expressions.
137: Bring ten armies worth of Cygnar models (including five warcasters) and an entire box of stat cards to a 500 point tournament. When your opponent begins their Shooting phase, insist that they've already activated all their models, so their turn is now over. Accuse your opponent of cheating when the TO comes by. Bonus points for yelling "Play Like You Have A Pair!" as the TO throws you out of the venue.
139) Demand to play while standing on your opponent's side.
140) Explain that you always played 40k with your ex-girlfriend and that this is your first game against someone other than her. Ask your opponent to wear a wig you brought to help your transition. Also, only address him as Jessica.
141) Blame your dice. Do it with every roll. Sulk and claim you're only loosing because you're bad at rolling dice.
142. Charge every unit of yours into every single unit of his, then annihilate. Commonly done by me on turn 3 when close with BA.
143. If you know your models are slightly out of range, pile them up and move if lots, then say you'll stand them up later; preferably done in shooting to inch a little closer
144. Whenever your opponant moves a tank or bike or something at flat out/turbo boost, pull out a fake cops badge and write them speeding tickets. 5 billion bonus points if you actaully are a cop and show them a real badge. Extra 10 trillion if you really do write them a ticket. Extraextra 40 quadrillion if they actually pay it.
145. Purposefully play sloooooowly. Like spend 3 minutes to decide how to handle your opponents Tomb Prince throwing 1 dice and rolling a 1 on his incantation. Then when his tomb king throws one dice and throws a 1, spend another 3 minutes.
Also ask them to re explain a rule every time the rule comes up. Like the tomb king incantation heirarchy.
Every time you're gonna have to roll an dice, for any reason, roll the dice you were gonna roll but not "for real," and keep re rolling anything besides a six until every dice gives you a six. THEN roll them for real.
rivers64 wrote:Every time you're gonna have to roll an dice, for any reason, roll the dice you were gonna roll but not "for real," and keep re rolling anything besides a six until every dice gives you a six. THEN roll them for real.
# When firing a pistol grab six dice and roll them, if its a plasma pistol make plasma-y sounds. When your opponent asks what the hell you're doing, declare that your pistols are revolvers and have at least 6 shots. If you want to go even further you could add some Clint Eastwood quote-age in before you assault.
okay, a few of these will be repeats, but the majority I haven't seen. Also, these were taken from a thread I saw quite a while ago.
1. Bring a hand puppet. Question it constantly as to what is the best course of action. 2. Bring a small model coffin with undertakers. Everytime a model dies, escort it off the battlefield and give it model funeral. Remember to hum the funeral theme tune. 3. Bring a falsified rulebook ( hours of fun ). 4. Shave your head. Paint your skin green. Wear a nose ring. Grunt a lot. 5. Flip a coin at the start of the game. After observing the outcome, claim that you have won the game. Look upset if your opponent denies this. Sulk. 6. Bring 20 printed pages of notes and intellectual-looking glasses. Refuse to let your opponent look at them. Refer to them throughout the game. Speak aloud as you read- "he's gone there, so contingency plan 8a means that I should..." 7. Insist opponent rolls all your dice for you. Complain and insult your opponent if you get any bad rolls. 8. Before the game, do a little dance and motion to the gods. Curse your opponent dramatically. 9. Arrive before your opponent. Set up your army and then take the other side of the table. Act as if you are expecting to play with your opponent's army. 10. Add a spring loading system to your cannon. Bring lots of ball bearings. 11. Bring a plastic kid's sword and 'challenge' your opponent. If he refuses, claim you have won the game through his forfeit. 12. Play dead if your general dies. 13. Bring a Land-raider model from 40K. Leave it sitting conspicuously on your side of the table. Make cryptic references to the power of laser cannon in WHFB. 14. Complain that you don't think you can trust your hero. 15. Act as if you are a sports commentator. Commentate on the game. Incessantly. 16. Ask politely if your opponent wouldn't kill your general. Explain that its his birthday. 17. Bring a smoke machine. Insist on recreating the "fog of war". 18. Sacrifice a goblin to Mork before the game. Saw off its head with a craft knife. 19. Arrange models in a diorama in the middle of the battle. Take photos for a "battle report." 20. Sharpen your goblins' spears before the game with a craft knife. Grin widely. 21. Cackle diabolically. "The World is mine! Nothing can stop me now!" 22. State before the game that you are playing for the title of the champion of the universe. 23. Feel the personal loss of every soldier. "Alas, poor Yorrick, I knew him well." 24. Lament the woes of war loudly. Faint when a model dies. 25. Add sound FX. Kaboom! 26. Ask if you can have TV rights to the game. 27. Just to surprise your opponent, agree amicably with and compliment your opponent! 28. Declare that you are opposed to the senseless destruction of our forests. Refuse to let him kill your treemen. Refuse to let him move through woods. 29. Insist on a lunch break for your troops. Bring a model Mr. Whippy Van. 30. Explain that you are a pacifist. Call off the game immediately. 31. Order your miniatures in your best Sergeant-Major voice. "Quick march, on the double- hut!" 32. Ask if your opponent is opposed to nuclear warfare. Carry a small spherical device. Give no other reasons. 33. Wear a crown. Say that you are the "Lord of the Galaxy". Get a horde of admirers to cheer you on. 34. Bring a stuffed, shaved poodle. Say it is your mascot. 35. Grow a Hitler moustache and wear a swastika. 'Discipline' your troops if they fail to salute you. 36. Cheer on your miniatures. 37. Hide under the table at the start of the game. Make your opponent drag you out. Speak in a nervous whisper. Confide in him that you are scared of his troops. 38. Leave a false army list lying around. Snatch it back angrily if your opponent starts to read it, but leave it visible. 39. Pull out an ace surreptitiously ( but obviously ) from your sleeve during the magic phase. Look pleased. Try to play it. 40. Keep a deck of Magic the Gathering cards handy. When you are told it is "the magic phase" bring out the cards and start to shuffle them. Ask if he wants to cut your deck. 41. Speak in Skaven. Neek- Neek! 42. Tell him you've brought weighted dice. Complain about the uselessness of modern technology when you start to roll ones. 43. Bring a lamp. Rub it and make three wishes before the game. Look at your opponent accusingly if they don't immediately come true. Ask him if he's used it. 44. Ask what year it is. Ask where you are. Ask what game you are going to play. If he says warhammer, bring out an antique mallet and hit him with it. Smile a corny grin. 45. Make references to a spy/traitor in his army. 46. Don't place your wizard on the board at the start of the game. At the end of your deployment, use a small explosive device to create a smoke screen and place down the wizard behind it while you yell, "poof!". When the smoke dissipates, say, "Tadaa!" 47. Have a history written for every trooper. Start a family feud. 48. Poor cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy. 49. Come with an army painted completely flora purple. Wear dark glasses. 50. Attempt to bribe your opponent's characters. Turn away quickly if your opponent looks at you questioningly. Deny everything.
1. Refer to your miniatures only by their first name. 2. Refer to his miniatures only by their first name. 3. Try to bribe his units over to your side. 4. Three words: Pastel Color Scheme. 5. Rent advertising space on your unit banners. 6. Offer your opponent the chance to surrender before the battle starts. 7. Dress in character. 8. Perform a play by play commentary in a Howard Cossell voice. 9. Speak only in third person. 10. Use huge brass dice. Roll them dangerously close to your opponent's figures. 11. Use only the little red dice from Warhammer Quest. 12. Only roll one die at a time. 13. Play Britney Spears. Insist that is it "battle music." Put it on repeat. 14. Name all your characters after obscure Hungarian royalty. Become annoyed if your opponent fails to notice. 15. Claim your army is comprised of all women. When pressed, explain they are all in disguise as to not get kicked out of the army. 16. Place a hammer on the table before the battle starts. Explain it is there to insure loyalty. 17. Quote Sun Tzu often, but only irrelevantly. 18. Every time one of his miniatures has unrestricted LOS to a target, say 'check'. 19. Suggest obviously suicidal tactics to your opponents. Explain that 'that's what Custer would do'. 20. Perform a rousing speech to your troops before the battle. Pose like Mussolini at the end. 21. Secretly replace your opponent's miniatures one at a time with miniatures from other games. 22. Claim your miniatures are proxied for another regiment, though that has no bearing on game play whatsoever. 23. Place all of your infantry on individual monster bases. 24. Flock your bases with sand. Do not use glue. 25. Take a halftime break to play with your Blood Bowl cheerleaders. 26. In rules disputes, reference on Hoyle's book of games. 27. Place NASCAR-like ads all over your vehicles. 28. Demand to change table sides at the halfway mark. 29. Use Play-doh miniatures. When one is killed, pound it into the table with your fist angrily. 30. When your figure reaches the opponent's table side, demand it be kinged. 31. Measure distances only with a yardstick. 32. On a bad roll, swear a blue streak. Use only obscenities approved Judge Dredd. 33. Sob uncontrollably while removing casualties. 34. When you win, dump a tub of Gatorade on your commander. 35. Include the word 'whoopass' on your army list as often as possible. 36. Don't move your army. Don't fire. Flee when charged. 37. Proxy a unit of O-scale cows for your commander's bodyguard. Don't forget to give them weapons. 38. Converts all wheeled models into lowriders. Including cannons and chariots. 39. Try to play multiple games at once like Gary Kasparov. 40. Discuss tactics with your troops. Become argumentative. 41. Four more words: Regis Philbin paint scheme. 42. In a rules dispute, check 1st, 2nd and 3rd Edition 40k Rulebooks, "just to make sure the rules don't change in each book." 43. Use a paintball gun to remove casualties. For both sides. 44. Write army list in pig latin and binary. 45. Fuzzy dice. 46. Start each game with the national anthem. 47. Have an inner monologue during the game. Digress frequently. 48. During your opponent's turn, yodel. 49. Each turn replace your commander with a new figure. 50. After a good die roll, do a victory dance and spike the die. 51. Write battle report during game. Take at least five minutes to write information between die rolls.
As for the dalek one, exponential bonus points if you play necrons and they are dalek themed, yourr opponent happens to play marines and happened to come in dressed as a cyber man (follow that up with it being a 3 way game and your other opponent plays Eldar and is dressed as the Doctor with a model sonic screw driver).
#... Close your hand into a fist, and slam the table as hard as you can when you wiff a roll. Keep your head down, and breath heavily. Then slowly lift your head, giving a death stare to your opponent who is mad that you knocked down all the models. Then smile and say, your turn
MechaEmperor7000 wrote:2.) Roll every single dice one by one, and claim that this pleases the Dice Gods. If you do actually get better rolls, praise the Dice gods endlessly. If not, say your opponent's mass rolling is pissing the Dice Gods off.
1UP on you - Roll every single dice one by one, and make sure you get them off the table. This is an extended familial tradition spawned from a monopoly game where my cousin and I would roll our dice off the table, then when everyone bent down, we got a $500 note from everyone. Needless to say, these days, our Monopoly games never end.
MechaEmperor7000 wrote:2.) Roll every single dice one by one, and claim that this pleases the Dice Gods. If you do actually get better rolls, praise the Dice gods endlessly. If not, say your opponent's mass rolling is pissing the Dice Gods off.
So. Much. Win. I laughed so hard, I swear to you all that I will do this the very next game I play. And,
#? - Bring a laptop (better yet, a desktop with CRT monitor). Set it up near you, insist on checking your email, facebook, ebay etc. every 15 minutes. Halfway through the game, during your turn, spend 47 minutes placing an amazon order. Insist that you are conducting important business that cannot be put off.
Just thought I'd tell you were we are: If you don't count All-Shans (which were quite a lot of repeats, dunno which was), Boba Fex' were nr 149. If you add All-Shans, we are at nr 250 exactly.
Now, lets see if we can get to nr 500?
In any case, I think it would be good if we wrote the number we are at each time.
#251- Bring your lawyer, Agent and Entourage with you, have your lawyer hand your opponent a stack of legal papers. Tell him he needs to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, a Personal Appearance Release Agreement and Option theTV and Film rights to the upcomming game.
Your Agent will talk on the phone all game trying to "Sell this Hot New Deal" and your Entourage will cheer you all game.
B) turn up to the introductory sessions with a comb over and an unshaven beard, toting a bag of sweets whilst bopping along to gary glitter.
C) reach for the dice/rules/measure at the same time as your opponent. Graze thier hand and look them in the eyes. Smile. Tell them how soft thier skin is.
Sorry I haven't counted for you guys. I have been busy these last few days. I'll try to get to it tomorrow.
Lets see if we can go to 500! and also lets try to find some ways to annoy your teamates!
#?.... Play tau, leave most of your army in reserve. Then attempt to bring your army in on turn 3. If it sucessfully gets in, don't move your models. Watch as your teammate looses
play nidzilla, and while your opponent is doing his things, moving miniatures, rolling die etc. throw gaunts at him. when he starts keeping the models thinking he is making an impact on your army, laugh.
Eftz3 wrote:Sorry I haven't counted for you guys. I have been busy these last few days. I'll try to get to it tomorrow.
Lets see if we can go to 500! and also lets try to find some ways to annoy your teamates!
#?.... Play tau, leave most of your army in reserve. Then attempt to bring your army in on turn 3. If it sucessfully gets in, don't move your models. Watch as your teammate looses
That was nr 256, and what bok_choy17 wrote was nr 257. It would become easier if everyone wrote what number their way is.
Ways to annoy team mates?
?.Take as many imperial guard platoons armed with mortars and grenade launchers as possible. Only use the small blast template for the launchers. When the enemy get really close to his lines fire at them even though you might hit your ally.
#whatever - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
#259 - Take as many imperial guard platoons armed with mortars and grenade launchers as possible. Only use the small blast template for the launchers. When the enemy get really close to his lines fire at them even though you might hit your ally.
#260 - Insist frag and krak grenades are weapons and try to use them.
#261 - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
262. Insist on bringing staff officers (in the form of friends), write written orders, send them to a staff officer to be copied and send to the orderlies, who will then dilver them to the squad in question, he will then write a confirmation that the order has been carried out, which will then need to be signed by all the staff officers, before finally coming back to you. Repeat for every single squad. Insist on wearing a bicorne hat.
winnertakesall wrote:262. Insist on bringing staff officers (in the form of friends), write written orders, send them to a staff officer to be copied and send to the orderlies, who will then dilver them to the squad in question, he will then write a confirmation that the order has been carried out, which will then need to be signed by all the staff officers, before finally coming back to you. Repeat for every single squad. Insist on wearing a bicorne hat.
Bonus point if the chain of command is disrupted by a toilet break and the entire turn grinds to a halt.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Boba Fex wrote:Teammates? What are those?
Kidding. Umm...
#whatever - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
I have actually done this before...
Admittedly my team mate was useless which is why i defected but still...
Offer to shake is hand before and after the game, as well as handle his models. Make frequent trips to the bathroom. At the end of the game, mention you forgot to wash your hands.
Alastergrimm wrote:266 Make them show you how they have WYSIWYG a psychic power and when they don't have it that way, tell them they can't use it!
Firstly I knew a guy who had this happen to him, so the next time he played that guy he had glued little signs to 40k bases. Signs like from miniature cars and railroads or whatever, for Doom it was a blinking light that he put in front of the unit he doomed, and for Guide he used a arrow sign that he painted to say "Shoot those things".
269. Take one of those things from Halloween that goes inside the pumpkins, the ones that blow air and make tissue paper move around, and put it on all of the "wrecked" vehicles. BONUS: Make it a particularly loud one.
Whenever you kill an important close combat unit with shooting, in even better cases IC's through wound allocation, claim that is what they get for bringing knives to a gun fight. Happened to vulkan the other day at a tournament when he was in a pack of terminators and he dropped first. I wouldn't let the poor guy live it down the rest of the round.
Play IG. If an ally's squad fails a morale check, have the nearest squad with a commissar in it open fire on/assault the fleeing unit, while growling about cowards and defeatists.
273, Bring a Sledgehammer to the game, every time a unit fails morale, regardless of the team, claim that Khorne is displeased with their cowardice, and smash the squad to oblivion.
275. As an Eldar player, kindly remind your opponent every time they try to shoot you, assault you, or take a psychic test all of the special Eldar rules that are going to effect the situation.
276. Bladestorm with Doom and Guide with a full unit of Dire Avengers and proceed roll each shot one by one, then reroll fails one by one... then wound one by one, and reroll failed wounds one by one...
277. Hit 3 packs of 30 man orks with a single night spinner shot. Next round when they go to move, remind your opponent that dangerous terrain tests are per model.
#259 - Take as many imperial guard platoons armed with mortars and grenade launchers as possible. Only use the small blast template for the launchers. When the enemy get really close to his lines fire at them even though you might hit your ally.
#260 - Insist frag and krak grenades are weapons and try to use them.
#261 - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
Fixed those for you. IMO, you are quite lazy.
I'm not lazy just not home, or have access to a computer. I will get to it however, by Thursday... hopefully
The_Solitaire wrote:do ALL your measuring with the whipping stick (works great in apoc!)
Use the whipping sticks to flay your opponent every time he speaks!
purplefood wrote:88. USe your shoes as tanks
89.Use a Welsh rulebook and codex
90.Speak only in Welsh
THIS!
snake wrote:Narrate the obvious. Most preferably repeat things s/he tells you as if you need to inform him/her.
Narrate every action your opponent does, and everything he says, example:
Leigen_Zero: 'snake rolled the dice, he needed to make 3 armour saves or his marines would flee'
snake: 'shut up!'
Leigen_Zero: 'he snapped, annoyed by leigen's incessant narrating'
Not wargaming related, but did this to a friend of mine for nearly a week, had to stop when she threatened to kill us all in our sleep
(forgot which number we were on)
###: Forget your own dice, ask opponent if you can use theirs, throughout the game, scratch your crotch repeatedly...
###: Play a lash list, insist on you moving your opponents models, while eating nachos, with cheese dip...
###: During the game, preferably in the middle of your turn, take a phonecall and start shouting in a foreign language down the phone...
###: Poop in the dice box...
Boba Fex wrote:
#whatever - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
I have actually have done this before.
# lost count. In the middle of a game randomly start laughing like a maniac.
Lord Castellan wrote:265: Make a pre-game speech to your miniatures.
Sad part is i do this sometimes
# I don't have any idea at this point but im fairly sure we are in the upper 200's and may have gone into 300's(<--- Really cool number ) : Crouch down onto your knees and look at the models, and then, preferebly with your opponents models, say in a very creepy and demented voice "OH YES MAI PRETTIES! YES" then que creepy laugh and have everyone forever know you as "Conner The Whiny Little Turkey"....Yes...i know this kid...very annoying.
285 - Giggle whenever your opponent does something. If they ask why, just shrug, grin, and insist that he keep doing what he's doing if he really wants to.
291. Point at your artillery and tell you're opponent you are going to start trowing pie plates all over his army on your shooting phase.
292. If he doesn't object, literary throw pie plates at your opponents army, bonus points if there actually is pie on them.
Just though I'd tell you; What Jidmah just wrote was in fact nr 295.
296: Start crying when your opponent places his models on the table. Should he ask why, tell him that one of them (preferably a pretty special model) reminds you of your dead relative. Ask if you can have it.
The_Solitaire wrote:do ALL your measuring with the whipping stick (works great in apoc!)
I agree whole heartedly.
298- do all your measuring with a 3 inch ruler/small blast template.
299- when a commander dies, make yourself cry, scream "WHY, *leader/god of race* ?! WHY?!" at the cieling, point at opponent, scream that he's a murderer and storm out clutching your model.
return a few seconds later, knock over his commander, storm out again.
return again, pick up your stuff, storm out.
300 (for the number)- make an edited 300 speech to suit your army, marching the commander along the line of troops.
make edited 300 references throughout.
The_Solitaire wrote:do ALL your measuring with the whipping stick (works great in apoc!)
I agree whole heartedly.
298- do all your measuring with a 3 inch ruler/small blast template.
299- when a commander dies, make yourself cry, scream "WHY, *leader/god of race* ?! WHY?!" at the cieling, point at opponent, scream that he's a murderer and storm out clutching your model.
return a few seconds later, knock over his commander, storm out again.
return again, pick up your stuff, storm out.
300 (for the number)- make an edited 300 speech to suit your army, marching the commander along the line of troops.
make edited 300 references throughout.
threadomancy? oops.
Except you're in fact only at nr 299 (check the post above yours) so the 300d goes to me:
Nr 300: Try to hypnotize your enemy. Have your eyes look like an owls and whisper commands slowly.
Nr 301: When your opponent says he's going to do something particularly important, quote Graham Chapman and say this (or similar) in a posh accent:
'Oh, oh, no more buttered scones for me, mater. I'm off to play the grand piano'. 'Pardon me while I assault with my terminators.'
Also,
Pour cheese sauce all over your opponent's army. Complain that it is cheesy.
302: Insist that you will only play if your opponent allows you to blast Nyan Cat from the nearest music player the entire game. Over and Over and Over again.
Go to Build a Bear....buy the lil voice usb recorder/player...load it with about 5-10 seconds of the imperial march song onto it...every time you move, shoot, or assault with a unit...every unit...push the button to play the song. I did it with my old Tau.
I still get patted down to check for it every time I walk into the store....
and
Whenever your opponent goes to roll to hit/wound you...make sure you tell him "Okay...you need anything but a 1!"
305: Arrange a friendly game at your FLGS then don't turn up, and spend the entire time in bed with your opponents girlfriend instead. Text him pictures with captions 'Turn 1, Turn 2' etc
Daedricbob wrote:305: Arrange a friendly game at your FLGS then don't turn up, and spend the entire time in bed with your opponents girlfriend instead. Text him pictures with captions 'Turn 1, Turn 2' etc
Better if it's your opponent's girlfriend AND mother at the same time
When rolling for any combat action whatsoever, recite whatever litany or prayer is appropriate for the situation as dictated by "The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer". Considering how many there are for given situations, this can easily add several long irritating minutes to make your opponent rage.
Boba Fex wrote:Teammates? What are those?
Kidding. Umm...
#whatever - In the middle of a 2-on-2 match, "defect" to your opponent's side. Bonus points if you held your army back and let your teammate advance, thus putting your troops at his back.
I agree, what's a teammate. Is that like someone/thing that you're supposed to work with(except not in cubicles)? I don't have to give them encouraging remarks, do I?
I still think that the best thing to do is bring a hammer as your "plan B".
What about dressing like a commisar and disciplining the troops when they fail you (such as failing morale/not following orders)?
### spill blood for Khorne before the game starts
### break an empty vial on the board, claim it was a deadly disease you released for Nurgle
### drink (alot) while playing Space Wolves and act(until you are) like a crazy drunk
Another good one...bring a ton of dice....as many as you can...like a crown royal bag full of small chessex dice...when rolling off to go first, dump the entire bag on the table and begin looking at each one carefully. When asked what your doing, reply "looking for my lucky roll off dice"....if your opponent allows you to continue til the end....start looking thru your bag, go back out to your car...take as much time as possible...then was an hour or so has gone by...simply say that you must have left it at home...then start the process again and make you say that you are now looking for your "backup" lucky roll off dice....
# When your opponet shoots at your vehicle behind cover let him shoot and roll for penetration and damage. When he rolls his last dice roll your cover save,. When you save it yell in his face "Can't see me!'
Print out this thread. Read it in its entirety to your opponent after deployment. Do not stop no matter what. Make sure you say the author and time and date of submission before reading each post.
Take two master of ordinances (s9 ap3) in a 3 person free for all.. shout out Danger Close! As both your opponents hq approach your lines (chaos terminator lord/space marine hero in termi armor) drop the blasts on their heads and shout out boomshakalaka! For each one after they failed their 2+ save then shout out vaporised For the Emperor!!! Looks like the hammer is mightier then the sword!! Followed by an evil muahah laugh and go on to win the game .
Swiftblade wrote:302: Insist that you will only play if your opponent allows you to blast Nyan Cat from the nearest music player the entire game. Over and Over and Over again.
Or the super-omega extended edition...Which I listened to for 28 min....a month ago...IT WAS HORRIBLE
335? Play guardsmen in apoc. Take as many flashlights as is legally possible. For each time you shoot, yell, "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!!!!" at the top of your lungs. If you somehow manage to kill a model, shout,"BLARG!"
339 : Bring the smallest dice possible ( Wizkids made ones that were about 5mm x 5mm x 5mm), and if you opponent tries to look at you rolls closely, insist that he is crowding you.
Do not jokes when your playing the game like in the movie Borat. Be like, "I'll shoot at your Land Raider"
"OK"
"Not"
You can do it for quite a bit as well. After seeing the movie Borat it gave me the idea haha
Use chessex dice that have different symbols on each of the sides. One type of symbol is on the ones side, one is on the six side...etc etc. Then expect your opponent to learn which is which. I do this already But I only have them on 1 and 6 and tell my opponent first which is which AND pick the dice up to show him when they roll-no cheatings for me, just layers of obnoxiousness.
???- make sound effects and actions for every charge, move or shoot, with individual sounds for each unit and outcome.
"FIIIIIX BAYONETS! CHAAAAAARGE!"
*fails all armour saves, misses everything*
"AAARGH! THE PAIN! TELL MY WIFE AND KIDS THAT...I...ARGH..."
*falls over, knocking over the board while doing so*
then slowly creep out of the store, and return 5 minutes later with a bandage around head/arm, plaster, sling, ect.
Construct a small altar whenever your model dies, set it on top, pour flammable substance on it/kindling, light it ablaze, and "Accidently" tip it towards your opponents models. If he complains say he is irreverent and leave, very upset.
#348: Be really fat. Make sure you don't wear deodorant. Run around outside and get really sweaty. Show up to a crowded game night, and then stand in front of the only fan in the game room.
This actually happened to me last week. It was the most disgusting thing ever.
350: Dress up as an Inquisitor and call your opponents (or allies) an "HERETIC!" or a "FILTHY XENO!" (if he's not useing humans) everytime he does something that doesn't benefit you.
In all honesty, I do this without even trying. Some of the gamers get alittle -too- into it and I have the composure of a stoned hippie. I usually sit and slowly move my Space Wolves to the best firing locations and let the bolters/living lightling do the work then get up to smash apart whats left with my Grey Hunters and Wolfguard. Then I finally stand up.
The whole time the other gamer has been bouncing about and yelling. I guess I am partially a sociopath.
If your a guy, wear tight girl shorts and every time you measure or "accidentally" drop a model you bend over to get it, I saw this happen once at a shop (*shivers*).
Lift weights for years and go play without shirt and flex your muscles when you kill something or when you take a hit without losing the unit and tell your opponent that is because you have so epic body.
Talks constantly about how your next army will be female space marines. Talk about their double-D breastplates, and how they can't dunk, but it doesn't really matter because they really get into the spirit of the game.
Play all grots. Someone at my store is actually building a list that runs over 200 grots, and little else. We all fear the day we have to wait for his movement phases to end.
As I've discovered, run a Space Wolves list with four Wolf Lords on Thunderwolves, with Runic Armour and Storm Shield with differing weapons. The resulting unit is so hard to kill (and so deadly in CC) that your opponent will cry cheese every game. It's won me a few league cycles now.
(And yes, I know what counters it. I typically stay away from the few things that can take it down quick)
yamgrenade wrote:Out of Curiosity, What counters it?
Grey Knights as a codex counters it - that much Force Weapon takes 'em down quick. Vindicators do the job extremely well, as do Railguns. The Vindicare Assassin also tends to pick their storm shields off one at a time if I don't kill it/them quick enough.
Basically, anything that causes Instant Death and denies an armor save. It's not all that common in my league (occasional Vindicator in Marine lists, and the local Blood Angels player tends to run Mephiston) but it makes me stop and think before I start running them up and down the board.
Every time you wound the enemy HQ choice or powerful character, get over excited, take some steps closer, and then do your happy dance in pre-mature celebration for its mile-stone wounds this battle
Whenever you lose a powerful character or HQ, remove him slowly, cross your arms, squint your eyes, and then for the rest of the match refuse to believe he died, just saying "no he still lived!" enough times will do the trick!
350) Bring a giant ass rambo knife and every five minutes stab it into the table so that it stays in by itself claiming you saw a fly and you were trying to kill it. Make the fly always dangerously close to his models.
351) Use a Yatzee Shaker to roll your dice. announce 40k game rolls such as hits, and also announce where you are using your roll on your Yatzee score pad. Forexample, CSM firing bolters at an enemy roll three 4's and to 3's. declare 3 hits and your full house.
352) during the enemy movement phase, build walls in front of your troops with extra dice. claim the are out of LOS and argue until you settle on the 5+ cover save as written in the rules.
353) If a cheap laugh is beter than winning a casual game, drive all of your vehicles in reverse the whole game. And for extra fun have Just Married! painted on the back doors.
354) 2 Rhinos start on the farthest right side pf ypur deployment zone as possible, empty of course. do nothing with them other than race them around rthe table edges the entire game, letting them switch back and forth with a 1 inch lead. If your opponant catches on start comentating Kentucky Derby Style.
355) use a spare troop to walk next to the driver side of a vehicle the entire time it moves, claiming he is ghost riding his whip.
356) When playing against a Xeno army, predict where squads will move, and creat a trail of Reeses Pieces leading them along as an ET reference
357) For Dawn of War set up, insist the first turn be played with the lights off.
358) When you have clearly won the game and it is your turn six, make no movements, shoot nothing and decline to roll any hits in CC. casually tell your opponant you have taken a knee with the ball so the clock can run out.
359) During your turn that 1 or more deepstriking units make it on the board, play It's Raining Men for the duration of your turn.
360) Make all measurements with a heavy duty tapemeasure, ask your opponant to hold the other end, even to check for 1" away from enemy model checks
Ailaros wrote:5.) Neutralize your opponent's shiniest unit. You get 2x annoyance points when neutralizing = tar pitting.
This can be very annoying, I remember when I had my stealth suit glance my friends predator for the entire game, it was never able to do anything. In retrospect I should have given them a fusion blaster to kill the predator then move on but that wouldn't have been nearly as fun.
361) Insist on measuring out the 6" move of each of your models separately, bonus if it's an ork or tyranid horde.
Make sure your battlefield has a road which the enemy will drive vehicles down. set up masses of infantry on the road in the most disruptive place possible, preferably tightly packed. When your opponent tries to drive down, refuse to run from the inevitable death or glory, but refuses to strike any blows, claiming your men are pacifists. Bonus points for hordes or Tau, more if it is a land raider or bigger. Keep something with high LD in there to keep your horde from fleeing.
in apocalypse yell THROW THE CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE whenever flyers or jump troops are used (use this against the eldar they usualy have LOADS of fliers and jump troops)
Don't bother to teach your child manners. Get them hyped up on mountain dew. Take them with you to the game, and tell them how awesome your opponents army is. In about 20 minutes get nasty with your opponent about how their army isn't wysiwyg, you know because your kid broke half their models.
368) You write a battle report on the game, with the most minute detail possible, just to slow your opponent. Bonus if you also say " wait I have to get pics"
Calling a Waaagh! so you're Squiggs can gob your opponents most beloved unit. They've eaten so much that my friend is going to model them with Cave Squigs instead.
As IG,convince a tau player in a friendly game to bring alot of railguns by flaunting all your pretty tanks, then make a list consisting entirely of infantry and powerblobs.
Get a Super Mario sound board on your phone. Play the death sound for your losses, bringing the flag down for his losses, fire ball sound for flamers and meltas, the sprinting moise during Run, Mushroom noise for bonus attack on charge, etc.
termin8r wrote:
Proxy with washers every time you play.
Bonus: all washer differ by a hundredth of an inch. Whenever your opponent asks which unit is which, look exasperated and tell him you've told him already.
Get the armies all deployed and they think they have first turn then you say, I brought Baron Sathonyx so I'm going first, after they put their army in a fashion to do heavy casualties to you first and then unload and watch them remove theirs first. Classic
Spend as much time as you can deciding which models to take off the table when you take casualties. Rank them in order of which are best painted, which have the coolest conversions, best poses, who has killed more stuff.
Bonus points if you have to ask the opponent for his input, and when he says "I don't care" cry and run away.
Bring a real pistol when playing IG. When a squad fails morale, pull your pistol and shoot one of them. Immediately re-roll, claiming you're a Comissar. Bonus if your opponent lets you (extra bonus if the cops aren't called).
slowly inch the terrain on your side to enemies gunline
bonus points if you have units on that terrain
double bonus points knudging actually got you in range for a double dice melta penetration
Play a GK army and build it with cotez and about 72 demon hosts on foot. You will have to reroll a D6 for every single model every single turn! (damn your FOC limit) I'd do more rolls but can't fit more than 12 in a group.
Wierdly, this is an actually legal army though chances of winning are slim @_@ and technically you really would have to do this...
Bonus points if you say lines relevant to your current operating race.
+1,000,000 points if you actually take the time to make a COMMANDER BOREALE and have him be your Force Commander. Then spend the entire game lecturing your opponent on the Codex Astartes and name every single tactical move you make.
+ Infinite points if you actually preform STEEHL RAHN in a game.
When you use your Valkryies make cheesy plane and helicopter sounds.
Dress up as a Commisar or Inquistor for your local tournament and go around inspecting IG, Space Marine, Grey Knight, and Sisters of Battle armies for "heresy"
Bonus points if you take a model from one of those armies and smash it under your boots for "Heresy"
Alexzandvar wrote:When you use your Valkryies make cheesy plane and helicopter sounds.
Dress up as a Commisar or Inquistor for your local tournament and go around inspecting IG, Space Marine, Grey Knight, and Sisters of Battle armies for "heresy"
Anyone who did that to me would immediately get a punch in the face.
Just saying.
Alexzandvar wrote:When you use your Valkryies make cheesy plane and helicopter sounds.
Dress up as a Commisar or Inquistor for your local tournament and go around inspecting IG, Space Marine, Grey Knight, and Sisters of Battle armies for "heresy"
Anyone who did that to me would immediately get a punch in the face.
Just saying.
I have not been to a tournament myself, but the people who I have talked to say that the ones they go to most of them often have people dressing up as various creatures/people from the Warhammer 40k universe, and that it is always great fun.
They say one time that a guy hollowed out a monitor and put it on his head, and pretended to be a "Machine spirit"
MechaEmperor7000 wrote:2.) Roll every single dice one by one, and claim that this pleases the Dice Gods. If you do actually get better rolls, praise the Dice gods endlessly. If not, say your opponent's mass rolling is pissing the Dice Gods off.
physcosamatic wrote:18. After each turn carry on dramatically about what has happened and role play it with sound effects and arm actions +2 if you bump the table as well.
"OMG YOUR CHAOS SPACE MARINE GOT FACE PWNED BY MY EPIC ULTRAMARINE MIGHTY BOLTER ROUND OF DOOM!" *you jump up and pretend your fist is a bolter projectile and slow motion act out punching yourself in the face and making loud noises*
yeenoghu wrote:use a blue permission deck
purplefood wrote:54. Copy your long time opponents fluff or squad names with only slight alterations e.g. Squad Alpha turns into sqaud Shmalpha
Scorax001 wrote:Laugh a lot. When your opponent asks why, say "because of this" and belly-flop onto his entire army.
FuryTheBerserker wrote:Lift weights for years and go play without shirt and flex your muscles when you kill something or when you take a hit without losing the unit and tell your opponent that is because you have so epic body.
Defiler37 wrote:When deep striking, physically drop the model on the table, even if it hits you/your opponents guys. (bonus points for doing this with a monolith)
(I actually do this one with drop pods — not my own, of course! )
Alexzandvar wrote:Dress up as a Commisar or Inquistor for your local tournament and go around inspecting IG, Space Marine, Grey Knight, and Sisters of Battle armies for "heresy"
Bonus points if you take a model from one of those armies and smash it under your boots for "Heresy"
My own contribution:
Take all your units completely unassembled and in their sprue, preferably in their original boxes, and claim they ‘count as assembled and painted’.
If a unit deepstrikes then mishaps then dies, simply pick up that unit, throw it on the ground and yell "THE EMPARORAH PROTECTS!!!" at the top of your lungs.
### - Read this thread while your opponent is deploying. Gasp suddenly and leave the store. Come back a couple of hours later and do as many things on this thread as possible.
### - Arrange a game with someone. Make sure it is specifically 40k that you arranged. Turn up with 3000pts of Ogres and play using fantasy rules.
"My Tyrant declares a CHALLENGE ON YOUR CHAPLAIN!!!!"
"So, thats 6 impact hits at str6 on your tactical Squad..."
### - Every time you kill a model or something goes amiss for your Opponent yell "SUCKS TO BE YOU!"
XXX2 = When shooting at the enemy, roll your dice by throwing them at his models.
Extra troll points if you make pew pew noises, and aim carefully for EACH one.
Everytime its your turn declare a break for yourself. Grab a cellphone and start giggling manically.
Don't bring pants to the store.
bring a crowd of people and have them all wear monocles and business suits and top hats. Tell them to agree with everything said, with "YES YES QUITE SO!"
Everytime its your turn declare a break for yourself. Grab a cellphone and start giggling manically.
Don't bring pants to the store.
bring a crowd of people and have them all wear monocles and business suits and top hats. Tell them to agree with everything said, with "YES YES QUITE SO!"
Bring a box with 2 pistols in it and challenge you opponent to a dual for "Insulting your honor", bonus points if agrees.
I approve of that. 
"The Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer". 
: Bring the smallest dice possible ( Wizkids made ones that were about 5mm x 5mm x 5mm), and if you opponent tries to look at you rolls closely, insist that he is crowding you.
