Well this is just an idea i had for a little while, so anyway if you called ask anyone from the spacemarine chapter or the traitor legions a question what would it be?

Are you happy?

How do you think he would reply?

Depends on the Chapter, I suppose. Most SMs would reply "I serve the Emperor, it is my duty, and duty is its own reward" or some variation thereof, that explains that they find joy in battle, and in destroying the enemies of the Emperor and of Mankind, and could not be happier than by serving the God-Emperor.

What's your kill count?

Now that, that depends of the legion/chapter

Is it too late to sign up?

How is the weather up there?

Does you afraid of anything?

Can love bloom on the battlefield?

Can I join your ranks?

I couldn't get into most first-founding legions, they take younger recruits than most, but some take sixteen year olds...so it's not too late!

"You may know no fear, but do you know love?"

How much does you bolter weigh?

When you grow 33% bigger, does your, um, manhood grow too?

Are women still attractive to you?

Got any spare progenoids?

Can you spit venom on me? I want to see what it feels like!

Can I borrow your chainsword? Because you see there is this man, Matt Ward...

What would happen if we put the progenoid in Chuck Norris?

Does a post-human still feel joy if all he knows is death?

Don't you think *insert heretics name here* is awesome? *troll*

Can I be a neophyte?

Want me to get out of your way?

What's your ultimate objective in life?

Did you choose this?

Can I have a piggyback ride?

How much can you lift?

What kind of music do you like?

Do you have time for the arts?

Can you be my father?

Can you come to school with me?

Can I borrow your bolt pistol for uhhh target practice.

Can I borrow Carapace armor just for lols?

Can You do back flips?

Can you scare that girl over there to liking me?

What do you mean you can't?

Do you like Raptors?

Is the sky blue?

Etc.

Why are you so xenophobic?

Why are you such a prick?

Why-AAAAAAAAAARGH!

"What's the best use that you've found for your Betcher's Gland?"

mondo80 wrote:http://www.dakkadakka.com/gallery/217845-Don%27t%20ask%2C%20don%27t%20tell.html

What did you think of the Royal Wedding?

Can you bone?

Nightwalker wrote:Well this is just an idea i had for a little while, so anyway if you called ask anyone from the spacemarine chapter or the traitor legions a question what would it be?

Id ask an Ultra Marine for Mat Wards Address. I would then a Raven Guard Strike Force to help me launch a surprise attack to finnally subdue this mad man, and incapacitate him. And then launch him into space. Preferably towards the sun.

What would you do for a klondike bar?

What do you do when you get uhh anxious...yeah anxious for lady company?

I'd ask a Black Templar brother if he ever actually literally just picked up a neophtye to use as a shield rather than just figuratively.

When you guff how long does the smell linger in your power armour?

So, those shoulder pads... what's up with them?

How do you feel about a miniaturised version of yourself being used to meatshield a Techmarine?

Why you gotta be a hater?

Do you ever miss having functional genitalia?

Do you ever feel left out for not being included in Bloodbowl?

Can I borrow $5?

Where Be MATT WARD!
I kill him need.



Yoda

I'd ask a black templar if i could have a rosarie for the inv save.. they are so cheap i don't see why not

What's the dental plan in your chapter? Because it's pretty much the deciding factor between this Chapter and the World Eaters for me.

Does your PA get wi-fi?

How big are SM gaks?

What's the food like?

So, whats the retirement package like?

Is it safe?


on another note, how am I the first one to think of that?

What's your favorite beer???


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Can I use your Thunder Hammer???????

I would ask him why most of his generals act like the imperium only uses the marines.

Then i would make a "Just the tip" crack based on the statement the Astrates are the tip of the spear known as the Imperium's military.

Space wolves: do you lift your leg when you take a leak?
Salamander: can you help me build my deck and start a bond fire?
Ultras: you need help with that bug issue?

Please don't kill me!

What army do you play in 40k?

Phototoxin wrote:What army do you play in 40k?

Their answer: Squats!!!

Who would you rather marry: Slanneesh, Tzeench, Khorne or Nurgle?

How old are you?

If you are trained to know no fear doesn't that mean you are afriad of fear itself ?

Have you read the latest horus heresy ?

Did you know that if you get shot at 3 times one of those shots will get through you armour ?

Are you secretly scared of Chuck Noris ?

Did you know the emporer never wanted to be worshiped as a god ?

How many muffins can you eat in a miniute ?

does this smell like chloroform to you?

Can I borrow your power armour?
What's your favourite colour?
Do you wear underpants under there?
Do space marines play the game?
Can space marines be homosexual?
Can you perform a hadouken?
If i went up to you and said the emperor's a nob head, what would you do?
Have you ever wished you were a librarian?
How old do you have to be to join the black templars?
What deodorant do you use?

Melissia wrote:Please don't kill me!

That's not a question

Ever been in a fight so long your pee reached your resperator *makes gargle noise*

Do you ever want to use your sus-an membrane to take an uninterrupted nap?

If you were to bone a woman, would you break her in half?

Could you beat Master Chief in a fight?

Are you a librarian? If so, can you turn me into a walrus-astartes?

Can you shoot Melissia for me? Please? Thank you!

Do you ever get tired of being...you know...alive for 5 centuries?

Do Spees Mareens fap?

How much do you get paid?

Can I have that land raider? Please!

Can I watch you punch a bear?

Can you please bring your troops and submit our world to the great Human Imperium?

So, how much you benching?

Do you feel safe at home?

What does the management do about hostile work environments?

Do you wear socks?

The socks thing is a good point...

Can you tech me to fence/duel (Imperial Fists only)

Can you teach me to ninja (RG only)

Can you teach me to be boring as hell and follow rules? (Ultrasmuf only)

Can you teach me fire? (salamander)

Can you teach me to be really, really fast? (white scar only)

How tall are you without your suit on?

Walks up to a SM
Says Can I join u
No: My friends pop out and kill him
Yes: I start training
About to become servitor after great wound: Kills Self
Finishes Training: Joins CSM!!!!

How do you go to the bathroom in that thing?

So if the chaos gods gain power if people believe in them a whole bunch and you guys believe in the emprah so much; does that make the emprah the 5th god of chaos and you guys filthy heretics?

Do you ever actually use your ability to spit acid?

Phototoxin wrote:What army do you play in 40k?

We all know normal SM's use Chaos

Can you touch your shoulders?

Can you wipe your own arse?

Sphinctersayswhat?

Seriously, who would win in fight, Dorn or Guilliman?

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Can you bone?

datz what i wanna know.

porkchop806 wrote:

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Can you bone?

datz what i wanna know.

They are monks so i doubt they will i would think they ould have the capabilitie to

Nightwalker wrote:

porkchop806 wrote:

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Can you bone?

datz what i wanna know.

They are monks so i doubt they will i would think they ould have the capabilitie to

Nah they'd break their chick (brother?) in half.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

SickSix wrote:Can you touch your shoulders?

Can you wipe your own arse?

Sphinctersayswhat?

Seriously, who would win in fight, Dorn or Guilliman?

Dorn

Any primarch could beat girlyman. Hell, I could beat him with a frying pan

Why are you so bad ass

Nice avatar SS.

I hate Halo Fanboys who think Spartans>astartes.

how fast can you pitch a cinder block?

Can I watch you rip Master Chief's arms off and beat him with them?

Got Milk?

Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?


If I give you the name of a filthy Xeno, will you hunt him down? You will? Great. Let me spell his name for you
J-U-S-T-I-N B-E-I...oh, you figured it out on your own. Can you go save the planet from him? Thanks. He's worse than a Nid

timetowaste85 wrote:Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?


If I give you the name of a filthy Xeno, will you hunt him down? You will? Great. Let me spell his name for you
J-U-S-T-I-N B-E-I...oh, you figured it out on your own. Can you go save the planet from him? Thanks. He's worse than a Nid

You forgot R-E-B-E-C-C-A B-L-A-C-K

timetowaste85 wrote:Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?

IIRC, waste is processed, and any nutrients are recycled as an edible paste.

Nerivant wrote:

timetowaste85 wrote:Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?

IIRC, waste is processed, and any nutrients are recycled as an edible paste.

That is fething dirt.

im2randomghgh wrote:

timetowaste85 wrote:Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?


If I give you the name of a filthy Xeno, will you hunt him down? You will? Great. Let me spell his name for you
J-U-S-T-I-N B-E-I...oh, you figured it out on your own. Can you go save the planet from him? Thanks. He's worse than a Nid

You forgot R-E-B-E-C-C-A B-L-A-C-K

Oh God, I just looked up who that was since you mentioned it...THE HORROR!! Forget Beiber, the Space Marines need to purge her neighborhood, the recording artists, and anyone who helped get her to where she is (and I LIKE Tosh. O too....)
Somebody make a collect call to the Head Justicar of the Grey Knights-here is the greatest threat our world has ever known (other than Ke$ha).

So those Sisters of Battle huh, man would you look at them! Would you hit that? If you could?

Come on guys, Rebecca Black isn't actually that bad. Loathe though I am to say it, neither is Justin Bieber. There's much worse so-called music than what they produce. Go listen to some 'gansta' rap and then tell me that Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber are worse.


My question would be; how can I serve the Emperor?

Didn't bother to read any other posts, so I hope noone has beaten me to it:

Have you heard the tale of the black and white space marine on the black and white bike?

timetowaste85 wrote:

im2randomghgh wrote:

timetowaste85 wrote:Does your suit come with a fully functional toilet?
Where is the flush button?


If I give you the name of a filthy Xeno, will you hunt him down? You will? Great. Let me spell his name for you
J-U-S-T-I-N B-E-I...oh, you figured it out on your own. Can you go save the planet from him? Thanks. He's worse than a Nid

You forgot R-E-B-E-C-C-A B-L-A-C-K

Oh God, I just looked up who that was since you mentioned it...THE HORROR!! Forget Beiber, the Space Marines need to purge her neighborhood, the recording artists, and anyone who helped get her to where she is (and I LIKE Tosh. O too....)
Somebody make a collect call to the Head Justicar of the Grey Knights-here is the greatest threat our world has ever known (other than Ke$ha).

Forget a purge, issue a extreminatus

Normal sized flights of stairs, what do you do?

Shaman wrote:Normal sized flights of stairs, what do you do?

Does having your head go through the ceiling ever get annoying?

Can you stand on your head?

im2randomghgh wrote:Can you shoot Melissia for me? Please? Thank you!

Dude...how old are you?

Ultrafool wrote:So those Sisters of Battle huh, man would you look at them! Would you hit that? If you could?

Nope, they are on thet're red rage too often

How does a number two happen? Or a number one for that matter? Is that why the shoes are so big?

BeefCakeSoup wrote:How does a number two happen? Or a number one for that matter? Is that why the shoes are so big?

Yes

Why are you guys all painted blue?

What's your shoe size?

So you see there is guy that needs ummm.... purging

Can I borrow your thunderhawk?

How do you use the john?

Do the sisters of battle actually fill out those chest plates? Cuz I mean DAYUM.

If a sister of battle can fire a bolter just as accurately without helmet augmentation and suit strength enhancements, why can't you swing it around one-handed? Weenie!

Have you ever punted a guardsman?

What would you do if a woman wanted a ride?

elementbender wrote:What would you do if a woman wanted a ride?

He'd lead a sweeping advance into her flank, then deepstrike into her using his boarding torpedo.

USE PROTECTION Like a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT

LOL

Oh dear lord...

Thart got about 4 other people swarming around the pc after i started loling.

We've been having some problems in this place called Libya, and it's not panning out like we planned...mind sending a drop pod or two? And while you're at it, there's a real nasty heretic in this place called North Korea...yeah, you might want to send a few pods their way too.

Can i borrow your bolter?

Can you shave this cat? *points to a tiger and hands over the clippers*

skwiff wrote:*Will* you shave this cat? *points to a tiger and hands over the clippers*

Fixed.

Knowing that Space Marines don't just show up for no reason but it's usually because of some bad stuff about to go down my question would be somewhere along the lines of:
"So does your presence help with my life expectancy problem or does it actually hurt my chances of long-term survival?"