So who thinks they will be raptured on Saturday, or knows someone who thinks they will be? I for one know I will be reporting for work Sunday night, as will everyone I know
(Not flamebaiting, just curious because a few people at my job are actually taking this very seriously)
Avatar 720 wrote:I will probably be asleep and catch it all on Rapture +1.
Can you TiVo it and just catch up with the Rapture on Sunday? You know what, they should actually wait till Sunday. You will have a better chance of a congregation on Sunday instead of Saturday. Most of the church goers will be busy mowing their grass Saturday.
Monster Rain wrote:I don't fear the end of the world, as long as I'm safe inside my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.
I've just ordered mine, do you think FW will get it out in time? I've heard rumours they can get stuff out next day...... If not then it looks like i'll be meeting Matt Ward first edition....
FITZZ wrote: I for one plan to do some extra sinning on Friday...just in case it turns out to be true.
To quote Supernatural " I've never prayed in my life...and I'm not about to start now,if I'm going to hell...at least I'll go honest."
Automatically Appended Next Post:
frgsinwntr wrote:the rapture is based on William Shakespeare.... silly how that worked out
I heard rumours, Matt Ward, in-between working on the 2nd edition Bible, and Codex: Necrons (the secret version, that no one knows about) actually wrote 87% of Shakespeare's work....
I have a little bit of a problem; I have a Shotgun in the house.... BUt no shells. And you can't exactly intimidate Undead with an Unloaded Gun....
Ah you got the same problem as me I bet. I don't get paid till next Friday, so I really can't afford shells this weekend. I should have bought some on my last paycheck...
Did anyone else read the website? They predict a global earthquake at 6:00 PM. I'll pause here while you consider the problem with that statement.
I'm not saying any of this is crazy, but I am going to just leave this here:
judgementday2011.com wrote:
Even Harold Camping had a previous prediction of the Return of Jesus for the Rapture that was incorrect due to a mathematical error – when his September 1994 date came and went without incident. What makes him so sure that this year, this date of May 21 2011, will in fact be the date of the Rapture?
1. The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”.
2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.
4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500.
6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
daedalus wrote:Did anyone else read the website? They predict a global earthquake at 6:00 PM. I'll pause here while you consider the problem with that statement.
I'm not saying any of this is crazy, but I am going to just leave this here:
judgementday2011.com wrote:
6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
daedalus wrote:Did anyone else read the website? They predict a global earthquake at 6:00 PM. I'll pause here while you consider the problem with that statement.
I'm not saying any of this is crazy, but I am going to just leave this here:
judgementday2011.com wrote:
Even Harold Camping had a previous prediction of the Return of Jesus for the Rapture that was incorrect due to a mathematical error – when his September 1994 date came and went without incident. What makes him so sure that this year, this date of May 21 2011, will in fact be the date of the Rapture?
1. The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”.
2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.
4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500.
6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
....I could do this. My baby brother could do this. ANYONE could do this. Pathetic.
Im glad I teach Logical positivism and am in charge of the sheep dip!
Ha Ha epic win. Say it actually is rapture day tomorrow I will personally go to heaven and bet seven bells out of Jesus because it meant that I have done all this revision for nothing, I will not be a happy bunny.
I have a little bit of a problem; I have a Shotgun in the house.... BUt no shells. And you can't exactly intimidate Undead with an Unloaded Gun....
Ah you got the same problem as me I bet. I don't get paid till next Friday, so I really can't afford shells this weekend. I should have bought some on my last paycheck...
i too am in a similar situation, i have a shovel to wack zombies with. the problem is that the handle is broken off a foot above the spade..
Crap, tonight is my last night at work for the military, as a cop. Isn't that some movie cliche where the bad stuff happens to the cop right before he's done? I swear if it is today I am going to be miffed...
But I voted it's not happening, though if it's zombies at least I have to applaud the CDC for their warning.
Though if it waits till I get off work, I won't feel so paranoid for all the guns and ammo, but the 1k rounds of 5.56 and 500rnds of 9mm I ordered a few days didn't show up in the mail yet...crap.
It could be tomorrow, it could be in 34 seconds, it could be in 34 years, it could be in 34 Centuries.... NO ONE KNOWS....
Scripture says no one knows (Matthew 24:36, 'Of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my father only.'), he is using, imo, some complicated math formula based on speculation...
If it happens tomorrow it happens, ill be going up. (inc bashes on my beliefs!).
helgrenze wrote:Ok.. Serious question here.... just when will all this happen?
12:01a.m.? Dawn? Just after Tea?
6:00 PM is what the website said. Will be marked by a worldwide earthquake.
They just forgot to say what timezone that's in.
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SilverMK2 wrote:
daedalus wrote:Is 7 sinful?
It possibly has something to do with the 7 deadly sins.
Though to be honest, I don't think logic can really be applied to anything these guys are saying
Ugh, but it's got sweet vermouth in it! :(
I'm going out drinking though this Saturday. You might have given me a drink to order due to topical relevance. I still can't wait to try out the line, "So it looks like we didn't get Raptured. Want to go back to my place and then we find Heaven ourselves?"
helgrenze wrote:So I should expect to have to a few call ins at work on Sat..... Or maybe just no shows.
Well if you stand outside you will be able to watch them float on up... Mabye they will do some paperwork on the way...
Wait...do those who "Rapture" actually float away?...or do the just sort of "piff" vanish?...what exactly is the means of transport?
Well there are diffrent rumors... But I did manage to find a sneek peek pic... I cant divulge my source lest they be excomunicatred, but this is the actuall mode of transport he said...
helgrenze wrote:So I should expect to have to a few call ins at work on Sat..... Or maybe just no shows.
Well if you stand outside you will be able to watch them float on up... Mabye they will do some paperwork on the way...
Wait...do those who "Rapture" actually float away?...or do the just sort of "piff" vanish?...what exactly is the means of transport?
Well there are diffrent rumors... But I did manage to find a sneek peek pic... I cant divulge my source lest they be excomunicatred, but this is the actuall mode of transport he said...
If I actually see this on Saturday I'm going to drop dead laughing.
The 'people floating away' thing always bugged me because that's not really the way that God works. God works in floods, plagues, swarms, and pillars of salt. Likewise, from what I can tell, the body doesn't go to heaven. It rots in the ground when you die. The 'soul' is the portion that's debatable though. The question is how to you remove the soul from the body, and from a large percentage of the populous, especially when you historically work in terms of floods, plagues, swarms and pillars of salt to get your point across to lots of people at once?
I expect to see thousands of people dropping dead in the next 24 hours. But then again, I expect even moreso to see absolutely nothing happening in the next 24 hours save for a bunch of people feeling let down, and one old guy quickly backpedaling on his wild numerology (again).
But I always love being wrong. It's one of the things that keeps life interesting.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Thing is if it is the end of the world the Ruptured won't get the chance to gloat in front of the Unruptured, point and say, "haha told you so!"
Automatically Appended Next Post: Thing is if it is the end of the world the Ruptured won't get the chance to gloat in front of the Unruptured, point and say, "haha told you so!"
What's the point in that?
Whereas come Sunday...
You think that's bad?
I did an A level exam yesterday!
All that revision for nothing...
JK nothing is gonna happen tomorrow.
since I have no clue what this tosh is all about have just googled Apparently it is happening tonight. Though that still is tomorrow for us
Yeah that sucks Purplefood!. All the dossers that were out partying instead of revising did right! Never mind The Good Lord might smile kindly upon the for being conscientious!
Camping, interviewed on a radio station recently, said the rapture will happen at exactly 6 p.m. Saturday. But it will happen timezone by timezone, meaning the first round of rapturing will happen at 6 p.m. in the International Dateline at 180 longitude. (That’s between Pago Pago, American Samoa and Nuku’alofa, Tonga.)
And that means 11 p.m. Friday for those of us on Pacific Standard Time, according to a doomsday author writing for The Atlantic. That’s when devastating earthquakes will also start, Camping said.
“Everyone will be weeping and wailing because they’ll know in a few hours it’ll come to their city,” Camping said during an interview with Tina Dupuy.
daedalus wrote: I expect even moreso to see absolutely nothing happening in the next 24 hours save for a bunch of people feeling let down, and one old guy quickly backpedaling on his wild numerology (again).
.
Or we could all get lucky and they start killing themselves...
Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:since I have no clue what this tosh is all about have just googled
Apparently it is happening tonight.
Camping, interviewed on a radio station recently, said the rapture will happen at exactly 6 p.m. Saturday. But it will happen timezone by timezone, meaning the first round of rapturing will happen at 6 p.m. in the International Dateline at 180 longitude. (That’s between Pago Pago, American Samoa and Nuku’alofa, Tonga.)
And that means 11 p.m. Friday for those of us on Pacific Standard Time, according to a doomsday author writing for The Atlantic. That’s when devastating earthquakes will also start, Camping said.
“Everyone will be weeping and wailing because they’ll know in a few hours it’ll come to their city,” Camping said during an interview with Tina Dupuy.
Ok...so if there's no earthquakes and folks tethered to bunches of balloons floating overhead in the UK tonight,then we in the U.S. can breathe a bit easier...right?
If I was God and wanted to make an Apocolyptic statement would I start in the middle of the Pacific and pick on a few small islands to get things going and slowly roll it around the world timezone by timezone?
nah
After this week I would start in Nottingham...
Chowderhead wrote:The Jewish Dakkanaut says "I don't care about the rapture, because Jesus isn't real."
As for all the Just beat them with the Shotgun comments: My dad is a medival enthusiast. Beleive me, there are better blunt objects to be had in my house.
Chowderhead wrote:The Jewish Dakkanaut says "I don't care about the rapture, because Jesus isn't real."
As for all the Just beat them with the Shotgun comments: My dad is a medival enthusiast. Beleive me, there are better blunt objects to be had in my house.
It's Saturday here now. Having my morning coffee looking out the kitchen window at the Pacific Ocean and that blistering sore Sea World. Perfect weather. The birds are singing. The cat is sleeping. If it is today, He sure picked a good one.
Wait, so he's predicting something that's only a very recent addition to the Christian mythos, by taking the alleged date of the prediction of an event that's then stated to happen, and which ends with "and I'll totally never do this again, that was terrible, what was I thinking", and adding a few arbitrary numbers to it? That's such gibbering lunacy that even mockery is too much validation...
Now with the crap quality macro aside; I remember first hearing of this last month when I returned to school from spring break. My Drawing&Composition teacher was telling everyone the story of being handed a pamphlet from that rapture cult on a cruise she was on and was told by their leader had problems with his math for his first predictions. Nevertheless this "math" he did will all turn to wasted effort.
If not, I have all my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORTS ready.
Monster Rain wrote:The wiener legions will fly over the battlefield, carrying off the bravest warriors to be at Frazzled's side in Valhalla.
The blessed Weiner Legions of Frazzled, Odin incarnate, shall carry us into his mightiest hall, where we shall feast at his side! The wine shall flow as blood from his enemies and the meat shall be akin to flesh of his foes! Valhalla calls us, mighty followers, will you heed the call of the Weiner?
Look, the "End of the world" that Christians are so afraid of is the end of the christian world. The only thing that would happen is an... event... that would effectively shed light on the truth of many matters and bring the end of many religions.
juraigamer wrote:Look, the "End of the world" that Christians are so afraid of is the end of the christian world. The only thing that would happen is an... event... that would effectively shed light on the truth of many matters and bring the end of many religions.
Many, if not a majority of Christians, don't believe in the idea of The Rapture, which is a very specific and recent idea (compared to the age of the religion) of how the second coming of Jesus would be.
ShivanAngel wrote:It could be tomorrow, it could be in 34 seconds, it could be in 34 years, it could be in 34 Centuries.... NO ONE KNOWS....
Scripture says no one knows (Matthew 24:36, 'Of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my father only.'), he is using, imo, some complicated math formula based on speculation...
If it happens tomorrow it happens, ill be going up. (inc bashes on my beliefs!).
I personally dont think it will happen. Here is my 3 strike rule with Mr. Camping:
Strike 1 - Bible verse above. How can Camping know when it states "no man will know"
Strike 2 - Camping has predicted this like 2 times before. Both wrong. What makes this one the magically correct answer?
Strike 3 - I heard that he said those "predetermined few" will ascend to the heavens. Kinda makes me feel that salvation is not a choice and that contradicts the Bible.
This won't be true because I haven't decided to roll out in my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT and do some quality time BLAMING THE VICTIM while I watch cartoons of Dinosaurs eating COCONUTS.
Okay, in 4 hours it should be 6:00pm in Australia if Australia is wiped off of the face of the Earth at 6:00pm their time then we have time to prepare. Sorry to our Australian Dakkaites but somebody has to go first.
Karon wrote:This won't be true because I haven't decided to roll out in my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT and do some quality time BLAMING THE VICTIM while I watch cartoons of Dinosaurs eating COCONUTS.
halonachos wrote:Okay, in 4 hours it should be 6:00pm in Australia if Australia is wiped off of the face of the Earth at 6:00pm their time then we have time to prepare. Sorry to our Australian Dakkaites but somebody has to go first.
It's always the Ozzies and Kiwis that get shafted. I'm happy sitting here twiddling my thumbs. As long as it means that I don't need to worry too much about GCSEs.
halonachos wrote:Okay, in 4 hours it should be 6:00pm in Australia if Australia is wiped off of the face of the Earth at 6:00pm their time then we have time to prepare. Sorry to our Australian Dakkaites but somebody has to go first.
It's always the Ozzies and Kiwis that get shafted. I'm happy sitting here twiddling my thumbs. As long as it means that I don't need to worry too much about GCSEs.
For Mystery Industries is here yet again with a Rapturous new way to enter Heaven!
Yes folks, the Rapto-matic 9000! Simply tie one end of it to yourself, and another to a God-Botherer of your choice and PRESTO! When they are raptured up to Heaven, you go with them!
I've been doing some research and this website helped me http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/ now according to this it is working on the theory that Noah built his ark in 4990bc now I'm now genius but even I know thats before the bronze age (which started about 3500bc, I think) so how on earth would he be able to build an ark?
heacy hitter wrote:I've been doing some research and this website helped me http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/ now according to this it is working on the theory that Noah built his ark in 4990bc now I'm now genius but even I know thats before the bronze age (which started about 3500bc, I think) so how on earth would he be able to build an ark?
When can i expect to be raptured today?
I'm getting a bit bored waiting tbh, i've nearly completed COD4 Single player (again), can't get online at University accommodation (which really really sucks), so have nothing else to do all day
ShivanAngel wrote:It could be tomorrow, it could be in 34 seconds, it could be in 34 years, it could be in 34 Centuries.... NO ONE KNOWS....
Scripture says no one knows (Matthew 24:36, 'Of that day and hour knows no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my father only.'), he is using, imo, some complicated math formula based on speculation...
If it happens tomorrow it happens, ill be going up. (inc bashes on my beliefs!).
I personally dont think it will happen. Here is my 3 strike rule with Mr. Camping:
Strike 1 - Bible verse above. How can Camping know when it states "no man will know"
Strike 2 - Camping has predicted this like 2 times before. Both wrong. What makes this one the magically correct answer?
Strike 3 - I heard that he said those "predetermined few" will ascend to the heavens. Kinda makes me feel that salvation is not a choice and that contradicts the Bible.
Just my $0.02
And, don't forget Strike 4: his math makes no sense, as there is a 2 that pops out of nowhere. And if his math fails, his whole theory fails!
And as to Strike 3: Yep, and he's totally certain he is one of those predetermined few.
Swordwind wrote:Lacking a great deal of fire and brimstone. No sign of horsemen anywhere. All it did was rain, but that's hardly apocalyptic.
Is for the Farmers in my area; hasn't stopped raining since the snow melted. All of them are about two months behind
Living in the tropics helps me to desensitise to the rain. What you have to look out for is the delicious yet stomach ache inducing street food. That's demonic.
ChrisWWII wrote:Don't forget ya'll! It's just the Rapture! We gotta keep our eyes out to see if any of the religous groups get taken up to heaven....
I clicked yes. That way if it DOES happen, when we are all standing in line in the afterlife (Yes I imagine everyone here will be in the same part of the line, its mental picture OKAY) I can laugh at all of you. HA! Looks you were all wrong! HAHAH!!
KingCracker wrote:I clicked yes. That way if it DOES happen, when we are all standing in line in the afterlife (Yes I imagine everyone here will be in the same part of the line, its mental picture OKAY) I can laugh at all of you. HA! Looks you were all wrong! HAHAH!!
Just like that
Meh, I wouldn't be up there with you guys. I'll be cast into the pits of hell for being a heathen. I'll be having a nice sauna while hanging out with rockstars and hot chicks.
I have decided to take this whole idiotic fethstorm as a joke, better that than a trajedy.
Have these guys actually read any of Bible before they took to the streets with placards and preductions?
36“No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 38For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; 39and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. 40Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. 41Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.
42“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.
Emphasis on underlined text.
So Jesus doesn't know when the rapture is going to happen, but Pastor Stetson W. Nutberger does?
Ok. I might have a small theological problem with that.
Actually I have a big problem with that, not in a doctrinal rant way but in a complete puzzlement way. How can these people read the solution they have with the information available, I really dont understand why this sort of transparently avoidable internal error creeps along so often. You would have thought that to any professing Christian any direct unambiguous quote from Jesus would be something you could bank on.
rodgers37 wrote:
AvatarForm wrote:I LOL'd.
Can someone remind me what the score is? I have lost count...
Atheists ?: Christianity 0
You do know, not all Christians are the same......
What branch of Christianity is this person belonging too? (I would imagine its one, he made up himself...)
'Christianity 0'? Well I ain't fooled, recount please.
'Atheist ?' indeed. However when the real rapture occurs it will change to 'Atheists !!!'
What branch of Christianity is this person belonging too? (I would imagine its one, he made up himself...)
It's the best sort of Christianity.
If you are thinking of having a go yourself, "Christian Cults Made Simple" or " Loony Jesus Fringe for Dummies" are both useful guides for getting started. Your common or garden Christians are prolly not going to be considered good enough for the Rapture by these dudes. But I always thought it was the Big Beardy Guy in the clouds call.
Wonder if you get a formal invite card. Picture of a happy chap glass of wine in hand, beautiful houri on his knee.
About to be clobbered with the bottle. Hope mine is in the post
Don't be silly! Of course the Rapture didn't happen in Australia, God probably passed them over as they're all convictssinners anyway...
*Ducks*
JudgementDay2011.com wrote: Even Harold Camping had a previous prediction of the Return of Jesus for the Rapture that was incorrect due to a mathematical error – when his September 1994 date came and went without incident. What makes him so sure that this year, this date of May 21 2011, will in fact be the date of the Rapture?
1. The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”. 2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years. 3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449. 4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days. 5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500. 6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
Monster Rain wrote:As a Necron player, I've been playing 40k in hell for several years now.
Aye, as have I the tau player. Perhaps the rapture was the announcement of the nercon codex followed by the tau codex? The age of man would end, I mean imperium.
Nicorex wrote:
Or we could all get lucky and they start killing themselves...
That's really dark. I have no love for fundamentalists or religion, but I don't wish for anyone to kill themselves.
I'd much rather they just accept reason and logic. Or at least not so obviously contradict the very book they hold in such regard.
Easier to teach a fish to ride a bicycle than to get some people to even consider accepting reason and logic.
Not saying this sort should off themselves...but I'd be lying if I said I'd be upset if the congregation of WBC ( or the like) all joined hands and jumped off a cliff.
Easier to teach a fish to ride a bicycle than to get some people to even consider accepting reason and logic.
Not saying this sort should off themselves...but I'd be lying if I said I'd be upset if the congregation of WBC ( or the like) all joined hands and jumped off a cliff.
Don't get me wrong; some people totally deserve the worst they can get. There's a special place in (metaphorical) Hell carved out for those donkey-caves, but at the same time, the idea of them killing themselves doesn't make me happy. It only makes me wish that we could be as far enlightened as a species I like to pretend we are.
Monster Rain wrote:Besides which, if someone is raptured you won't have to pay them!
You kinda would...
Gambling is a sin (At least i think it is) and commiting sins is one of the things that stops you floating to the shiny white cloudy place...
KingCracker wrote:I clicked yes. That way if it DOES happen, when we are all standing in line in the afterlife (Yes I imagine everyone here will be in the same part of the line, its mental picture OKAY) I can laugh at all of you. HA! Looks you were all wrong! HAHAH!!
Just like that
Meh, I wouldn't be up there with you guys. I'll be cast into the pits of hell for being a heathen. I'll be having a nice sauna while hanging out with rockstars and hot chicks.
Heathen indeed. Some Christian beliefs state that you wait at the gates to learn weather or not you goto heaven. SO! When your holding your ticket and waiting in line Ill be mocking you.
Not sure how accurate this is, but I now hear that the folks at "Family Radio" are backpedaling a bit,stating that today begins a "period of judgment" counting down to the Rapture.
...Searching for more details.
FITZZ wrote: Not sure how accurate this is, but I now hear that the folks at "Family Radio" are backpedaling a bit,stating that today begins a "period of judgment" counting down to the Rapture.
...Searching for more details.
Well Apparently what we got here is a Rapturist!
So.....
You better hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husband cuz the they're gunna be rapturing everybody out here!
Everybody join in!
So Ya Better Hide yo kids, hid yo wife! They' goin around rapturing everbody out there!
Were gonna find ya!
They are going through your front door rapturing everybody around ya!
I'm at work and took a dump but couldn't flush it because of lack of water pressure... then I tried to use the sink but barely a trickle comes out... plumber came by and it was discovered that the pump for our well has malfunctioned... is this the Rapture?!
Frazzled ascends to the heavens in a chariot of fire every Saturday. He's not going to be a good indicator of whether or not the rapture has taken place.
Dastardly Dave wrote:Don't be silly! Of course the Rapture didn't happen in Australia, God probably passed them over as they're all convictssinners anyway...
*Ducks*
JudgementDay2011.com wrote:
Even Harold Camping had a previous prediction of the Return of Jesus for the Rapture that was incorrect due to a mathematical error – when his September 1994 date came and went without incident. What makes him so sure that this year, this date of May 21 2011, will in fact be the date of the Rapture?
1. The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”.
2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.
4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500.
6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
I guess he forgot to carry the 666...
And the number of Filipinos mentioned in the Bible. (Zero). Simpsons FTW!
Dastardly Dave wrote:Don't be silly! Of course the Rapture didn't happen in Australia, God probably passed them over as they're all convictssinners anyway...
*Ducks*
JudgementDay2011.com wrote:
Even Harold Camping had a previous prediction of the Return of Jesus for the Rapture that was incorrect due to a mathematical error – when his September 1994 date came and went without incident. What makes him so sure that this year, this date of May 21 2011, will in fact be the date of the Rapture?
1. The number 5 equals “atonement”, the number 10 equals “completeness”, and the number 17 equals “heaven”.
2. Christ hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.
3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year), the result is 722,449.
4. The time between April 1 and May 21 is 51 days.
5. 51 + 722,449 = 722,500.
6. (5 × 10 × 17)2 or (atonement × completeness × heaven)2 also equals 722,500.
Thus, Camping concludes that 5 × 10 × 17 is telling us a “story from the time Christ made payment for our sins until we’re completely saved.”
I guess he forgot to carry the 666...
And the number of Filipinos mentioned in the Bible. (Zero). Simpsons FTW!
Doesn't it say in the bible that the rapture will happen when no man can predict our destruction?
How does Camping know that Jesus was crucified on April Fool's Day?
Was it a Pilate prank that went horribly wrong?
Does he take into account historical adjustments to the calendar?
Shoot that might mean that it is in 11 days time. or was it 11 days ago and we missed it?
helgrenze wrote:well.. its not 6pm in California ... yet.
Oh the calculations are based on the Pacific Time Zone? I didn't know that. Somebody should tell the other side of the world. It is already Sunday the 22nd in a lot of places. It just turned 6:03 here.
helgrenze wrote:well.. its not 6pm in California ... yet.
Oh the calculations are based on the Pacific Time Zone? I didn't know that. Somebody should tell the other side of the world. It is already Sunday the 22nd in a lot of places. It just turned 6:03 here.
I wonder if any of the people who believed this was going to happen will feel silly at church tomorrow?
Preacher: " Well...it's nice to see you all here...I guess, you'll have to forgive me...but I didn't write a sermon for today...I guess you all know why..so we'll just skip to passing around the collection plate and...um...then I guess we can go home."
FITZZ wrote: I wonder if any of the people who believed this was going to happen will feel silly at church tomorrow?
Preacher: " Well...it's nice to see you all here...I guess, you'll have to forgive me...but I didn't write a sermon for today...I guess you all know why..so we'll just skip to passing around the collection plate and...um...then I guess we can go home."
if it's like the Churches i was dragged to as a wee lad, they're all probably trying to figure out what all the others have done to have been 'left behind'.
Monster Rain wrote:Frazzled ascends to the heavens in a chariot of fire every Saturday. He's not going to be a good indicator of whether or not the rapture has taken place.
Ah, practice for the promised 'Weinergeddon'.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:Maybe it happened but no one was worthy.
purplefood wrote:Well if you are okay with the ground shaking then that's fine but i think i would freak out a bit each time it happened...
not like you can driver around in a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT all the time or anything....
If there was an earthquake here i think Wales would break off from the Imperi- rest of Britain.
Then i would lose my best plot of land for driving my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT which would be my main reason for freaking out...
The second would be because we would be a seaside town and i totally need new sandals and shorts...
Can someone remind me what the score is? I have lost count...
Atheists ?: Christianity 0
You do know, not all Christians are the same......
What branch of Christianity is this person belonging too? (I would imagine its one, he made up himself...)
You know, Christians enjoy labelling all others in general terms, why is it that you all possess differing views on the same topics and do not like to be labelled as a single group?
You have:
Catholics
Orthodox
Trinitarians
Protestants
Lutherans... not to mention the sub-sub-categories
Guys the Rapture happened I saw 200,000 Clowns get in a Clown Car that warped to the heavens we are all going to have to make do with out there depressing humor.
But on a serious note I believe Jesus will strike as a thief in the night and we will not know when it will happen.
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
Werezombie?...
I had a brief moment of anticipation an hour or so ago...heard my neighbor screaming " Yes God!"...thought it was rapture time...but she was just visiting with her boyfriend.
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
Werezombie?...
I had a brief moment of anticipation an hour or so ago...heard my neighbor screaming " Yes God!"...thought it was rapture time...but she was just visiting with her boyfriend.
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
simple. have Kate Beckinsale bite the werewolf, and get a Zombie Michael Corvin!
Then we grab as much bourbon and beer as we can. drive to Fritz's.
hopefully he'll have been able to aquire large amounts of charcoal for a crazy
amount of BBQ, zombie killin' and drinkin'. lather. rinse. repeat.
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
simple. have Kate Beckinsale bite the werewolf, and get a Zombie Michael Corvin!
Then we grab as much bourbon and beer as we can. drive to Fritz's.
hopefully he'll have been able to aquire large amounts of charcoal for a crazy
amount of BBQ, zombie killin' and drinkin'. lather. rinse. repeat.
2 questions...
1)Do we drive in a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT?
2)Can i drive it?
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
simple. have Kate Beckinsale bite the werewolf, and get a Zombie Michael Corvin!
Then we grab as much bourbon and beer as we can. drive to Fitzz's.
hopefully he'll have been able to aquire large amounts of charcoal for a crazy
amount of BBQ, zombie killin' and drinkin'. lather. rinse. repeat.
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
simple. have Kate Beckinsale bite the werewolf, and get a Zombie Michael Corvin!
Then we grab as much bourbon and beer as we can. drive to Fritz's.
hopefully he'll have been able to aquire large amounts of charcoal for a crazy
amount of BBQ, zombie killin' and drinkin'. lather. rinse. repeat.
2 questions...
1)Do we drive in a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT?
2)Can i drive it?
1) duh! 2) hell yes! always have a designated driver!
Monster Rain wrote:Well, we're still about to enter an age of Retribution.
Prepare for Zombies! Though, a Zombie Apocalypse doesn't really seem like punishment.
On a slightly related note, what happens if a Zombie bites a werewolf?
simple. have Kate Beckinsale bite the werewolf, and get a Zombie Michael Corvin!
Then we grab as much bourbon and beer as we can. drive to Fritz's.
hopefully he'll have been able to aquire large amounts of charcoal for a crazy
amount of BBQ, zombie killin' and drinkin'. lather. rinse. repeat.
2 questions...
1)Do we drive in a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT?
2)Can i drive it?
1) duh! 2) hell yes! always have a designated driver!
In regards to 2) i wil be drunk as all hell but we'll be in a CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT so it won't matter too much.
You know, Christians enjoy labelling all others in general terms, why is it that you all possess differing views on the same topics and do not like to be labelled as a single group?
Umm, you kind of answers it in your question. DIFFERENT VIEWS are very important when it comes to religion, its not like labelling a set of TV show fans.
purplefood wrote:How can anyone be that calm about an earthquake?
Live in California for a few years. I live in the Bay Area, and anything up to a 5.0 I usually won't even feel, and even at a 5.0 it's 'Hey, is there a truck driving by?'
purplefood wrote:How can anyone be that calm about an earthquake?
Live in California for a few years. I live in the Bay Area, and anything up to a 5.0 I usually won't even feel, and even at a 5.0 it's 'Hey, is there a truck driving by?'
purplefood wrote:How can anyone be that calm about an earthquake?
Live in California for a few years. I live in the Bay Area, and anything up to a 5.0 I usually won't even feel, and even at a 5.0 it's 'Hey, is there a truck driving by?'
Well the only thing that happened here yesterday was that at exactly 6pm a large, funny coloured cloud came over the sun, the fire alarm in the Uni library (where i was) started going off, and we heard lots of sirens from the center of town. No rapture AFAIK.
Well crap. I slept in the most ridiculous outfit I had, and even wore a hate with a feather in it, just so Id be ready to mock everyone on DAKKA......thanks alot false prophet guy!!
Maybe I can convince him to give me a refund on the hat I bought
Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:It's the least he could do.
Wonder if Camping said something like, "Well if there ain't no Rapture I'll eat my hat, guffaw!"
From what I heard in radio interviews with people who believed it'd happen, conversations of that nature went like this:
Interviewer: So what if it doesn't happen?
Rapturist(?): It will.
I: But what if it doesn't?
R: But it will.
I: So you won't mind me calling you up next week and asking to come back on?
R: You can try, but I won't be there to answer.
I: But if you were, would you come back on?
R: That's an impossible scenario because I won't be.
KingCracker wrote:Well crap. I slept in the most ridiculous outfit I had, and even wore a hate with a feather in it, just so Id be ready to mock everyone on DAKKA......thanks alot false prophet guy!!
Maybe I can convince him to give me a refund on the hat I bought
purplefood wrote:How can anyone be that calm about an earthquake?
Live in California for a few years. I live in the Bay Area, and anything up to a 5.0 I usually won't even feel, and even at a 5.0 it's 'Hey, is there a truck driving by?'
We're just used to it.
Now, RAIN on the other hand....
I think we have all of your rain...
Try living in the tropics.
Hmmm, I'm a Californian who goes to uni in Scotland, and spends lots of time with family in the Philippines. So yes, it is all true. I curse the weather up here in St. Andrews quite a bit. -.-
That being said, I was more talking about how a light drizzle in California will lead people to have to head out 10 minutes early thanks to the traffic jams the rain will cause. In essence,light rain will cause a bigger impact on my life than an earthquke 99% of the time. I find this kind of amusing.
INSTALLING RAPTURE.
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
Install delayed....please wait.
Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Rapture not found.
EVENT "Rapture" cannot be located. The rapture you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.
CT GAMER wrote:INSTALLING RAPTURE.
███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 44% DONE.
Install delayed....please wait.
Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: Rapture not found.
EVENT "Rapture" cannot be located. The rapture you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.
here's the problem. the rapture is wherein the good folk get called up before all the real unpleasantness correct? How do we know it didn't happen? May you all are just a bunch of loser sinners?
Regardless, this sounds like a job for Dachshundskrieg. Now that the wiener legions are fully enabled in their CRASSUS ARMORED ASSAULT TRANSPORTS, only one more key needs to be unlocked for the coming of Dachhundskrieg, the Wiener Time.
helgrenze wrote:Have you noticed that Rush called this in 1976..... Think about it.... dec 21,12.....
So, presumably - rather than the end of the world, we'll actually get liberated by advanced enlightened humans who give out free guitars to all and end repression?
Well, at least it's better than getting torn apart by a large planet or killed by 4 nutjobs on horses...
I wonder if he set up a contract with Eternal Earth-Bound Pets? His cat is just sitting there. Where is the Atheist that is supposed to be taking care of the poor thing?
helgrenze wrote:Have you noticed that Rush called this in 1976..... Think about it.... dec 21,12.....
So, presumably - rather than the end of the world, we'll actually get liberated by advanced enlightened humans who give out free guitars to all and end repression?
Well, at least it's better than getting torn apart by a large planet or killed by 4 nutjobs on horses...
I read that some people sold all their wordly possessions and that, thinking that they were off to see the Spirit In The Sky....
Isn't this particular nutjob looking at one hell of a class action?
If you are gonna believe that the end of the world is coming just because he says it is frankly you don't deserve your money back.
And, if they are that gullible they probably would have given it all to a Nigerian bank manager to 'invest'
purplefood wrote:If you are gonna believe that the end of the world is coming just because he says it is frankly you don't deserve your money back.
It's just sad that people believe enough to sell all their worldly possessions, but apparently not enough to crack open the Bible and do a little of that there book-readin'.
I read that some people sold all their wordly possessions and that, thinking that they were off to see the Spirit In The Sky....
Isn't this particular nutjob looking at one hell of a class action?
If you are gonna believe that the end of the world is coming just because he says it is frankly you don't deserve your money back.
And, if they are that gullible they probably would have given it all to a Nigerian bank manager to 'invest'
What... you saying Nigerian banks are not a good investment?
I read that some people sold all their wordly possessions and that, thinking that they were off to see the Spirit In The Sky....
Isn't this particular nutjob looking at one hell of a class action?
If you are gonna believe that the end of the world is coming just because he says it is frankly you don't deserve your money back.
And, if they are that gullible they probably would have given it all to a Nigerian bank manager to 'invest'
What... you saying Nigerian banks are not a good investment?
They might be...
My mum actualy knows a guy in Nigeria who is trying to start a bank... he says it is difficult.
