So I told the wife I was going to trim my beard the other day......and when I came out she didnt notice the difference, my mom and dad didnt either. I cut over 2 inches off the damn thing and no one noticed. How long is to long?
FWIW, my Mistress told me I couldn't shave for a week and that just ended yesterday. People barely noticed that I had a thick beard one day and then just didn't. People are too concerned with themselves to know any better, I'd say.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:FWIW, my Mistress told me I couldn't shave for a week and that just ended yesterday. People barely noticed that I had a thick beard one day and then just didn't. People are too concerned with themselves to know any better, I'd say.
+1
I hadn't shaved for a week and a half, and that's the longest I've ever gone (I'm a clean cut young fellow). Then when I finally shaved it all off, no one noticed. :*( I feel you man. Chicks just don't look at our chins enough.
Finally being out of the Army I am able to grow out my man whiskers. I've grown a nice goatee.
The only thing I have with facial hair is that all the gruff that's under your jaw and chin should be shaved everyday to keep a nice, professional-looking beard.
"How long is too long?" is up to you. It depends on what you want. Me, I like to keep my style conservative. If the facial hair passes my chinny-chin-chin I'll trim it down.
And while we are on this topic: has anybody else had their girlfriend/special buddy/ significant other complain about brush burns caused by your scruffies? It happened to me because I use to eskimo kiss my ex a lot just to be cute.
I trim mine weekly, don't like it when it's out of control.
Several weeks ago the Missus, out of curiosity, asked me to shave it off, which I did ( first time my face has been naked in twenty years)...she laughed, said I looked like a big kid and asked me to grow it back.
...Women.
KingCracker wrote:I always thought it was funny that Mr Beard didnt have one.
FITZZ - My wife likes facial hair on a guy, so lucky for me, I never get asked that one
Mine was just curious as to what I would look like with out one, I've sported a face pelt since even long before we met.
I really have more of a goatee than a full out beard, but I shave it off twice a year. Every time I shave it I get carded everywhere so I grow it back. I mean I'm 36, but when I shave I look like I'm 16.
KingCracker wrote:I always thought it was funny that Mr Beard didnt have one.
FITZZ - My wife likes facial hair on a guy, so lucky for me, I never get asked that one
Mine was just curious as to what I would look like with out one, I've sported a face pelt since even long before we met.
I really have more of a goatee than a full out beard, but I shave it off twice a year. Every time I shave it I get carded everywhere so I grow it back. I mean I'm 36, but when I shave I look like I'm 16.
Mines a goatee as well, and according to the Missus I look like I'm " A kid" without it, which I suppose is a good thing considering I'm closing in on 42.
DickBandit wrote:And while we are on this topic: has anybody else had their girlfriend/special buddy/ significant other complain about brush burns caused by your scruffies? It happened to me because I use to eskimo kiss my ex a lot just to be cute.
I've had about a 50/50 split. Some people find it really manly and a turn-on, while others complain that it's prickly.
DickBandit wrote:And while we are on this topic: has anybody else had their girlfriend/special buddy/ significant other complain about brush burns caused by your scruffies? It happened to me because I use to eskimo kiss my ex a lot just to be cute.
I've had about a 50/50 split. Some people find it really manly and a turn-on, while others complain that it's prickly.
I did try tickling... ya know...but she told me to stop, it wasn't working.
My girlfriend loves my stubble (she thinks it looks cute and likes the feel of it). Personally, I think it makes me look homeless and it feels somewhat uncomfortable, so we're a bit at odds about that.
I can't really grow a proper beard (it looks really haggard if I try), so I try to shave as much as I can, but I have really sensitive skin that's prone to all sorts of razor burn and shaving bumps. Usually about twice a week is as much as I can manage, even with specialized razors and shaving cream straight from the dermatologist.
A soul patch is about all I can manage to pull off, but I fethed it up a while ago and shaved it off. I haven't really looked back. I do miss being able to cover the scar on my bottom lip, though.
I am currently in the process of growing a thick, raggeddy beard, because I had a premonition when I was a little kid that when the zombie apocalypse came, that's how I would look, but with my head-hair crudely hacked short. Still not sure when the eyepatch is gonna become a necessity...
No beard for me. A little known fact about gingers is that not all of our hair is the same fire-like orange as that which graces the top of our heads. For example, take a look at a local ginger's eyebrows. They are most likely anywhere from light orange to pale and white/clear. As is such, my facial hair is practically transparent, and attempts to grow it out only prove to be futile.
I started to grow a goatee, tache combo before my brothers wedding in March, its grown out pretty well, but due to some scars on my face its taken its sweet time to reach this point. It was also driving me nuts for the first few months as it was damn itchy.
Although my hair has always taken an age to grow, took over a year and a half to get my hair long enough for a pony tail. I'd failed three times previously, as I'd get to that annoying, in your eyes stage, hanging on your collar bone, and cut it back.
I think the tache and goatee may stay however as Aurelia really likes it.
Yea I forgot about beards being itchy, its been so long since I cut mine off. Something that took awhile to get used to though, was it catching on the seat belt, holy hell that hurts
See thats why I need to be in a band. I would of missed the moment for roleplay homeless guy rape fantasy. Thank you Albatross, you saved another marriage
micahaphone wrote:No beard for me. A little known fact about gingers is that not all of our hair is the same fire-like orange as that which graces the top of our heads. For example, take a look at a local ginger's eyebrows. They are most likely anywhere from light orange to pale and white/clear. As is such, my facial hair is practically transparent, and attempts to grow it out only prove to be futile.
I know this fact all to well my friend, that is why I only have a goatee and a well trimmed stache. My facial hair ranges from red to white, blond, clear and black. Clear and Black, WTF? I have about a 1/4 inch patch on both sides were my hair refuses to grow into sideburns. Last time I tried to grow a full beard I was called patch and Keanu.
FITZZ wrote: I trim mine weekly, don't like it when it's out of control.
Several weeks ago the Missus, out of curiosity, asked me to shave it off, which I did ( first time my face has been naked in twenty years)...she laughed, said I looked like a big kid and asked me to grow it back.
...Women.
I did that once, and wondered what the devil had happened to my chin too
micahaphone wrote:No beard for me. A little known fact about gingers is that not all of our hair is the same fire-like orange as that which graces the top of our heads. For example, take a look at a local ginger's eyebrows. They are most likely anywhere from light orange to pale and white/clear. As is such, my facial hair is practically transparent, and attempts to grow it out only prove to be futile.
I know this fact all to well my friend, that is why I only have a goatee and a well trimmed stache. My facial hair ranges from red to white, blond, clear and black. Clear and Black, WTF? I have about a 1/4 inch patch on both sides were my hair refuses to grow into sideburns. Last time I tried to grow a full beard I was called patch and Keanu.
See how he is all patchy.
That sucks and I feel sorry for you. I've been growing my beard for the last 2 years or so now and I've become attached to it. When it gets a bit unmanageable I trim it down with about a 2 or 3 and let it grow back. This helps to make it thicker. I am well known at my place of employment for having my beard as there are few who do grow one. Somehow, beardcare, along with a coworker of mine got me turned onto safety razor shaving and the ritual involved there in. Safety razor shaving is so much closer than the commercial gak available today, it is amazing. My skin isn't as irritated either. I highly recommend it. apparently Biotin will also help hair growth, but it hasn't been validated by the FDA. Usually takes around 6 months to see the effects.
Your only growing your beard too long if you cant grow it thickly and consistently in my book. If you can get it to the epic qualities of ZZ top or to Ghengis Khan gloriousness then go for it! The first time I was growing my beard my partner at the time persuaded me to shave it once.
voryn15 wrote:I will never shave mine off! I have actually turned down a decent job before because they told me they didn't allow any facial hair.
As far as the red heads multi color problem, it's not just red heads. My hair is dark brown and i have blonde and white/clear hair in mine.
See thats where I shine. I had a similar experience but rather then lose the job or my beard, I told them Im actually Hebrew, and for religious reasons I cant shave my beard. Now admittedly, I know jack about Hebrew customs, I just know some of them have beards. But it worked, and I got the job. KACHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that comic strip, was done by a guy that obviously doesnt grow large beards. Theres no WAY you would shave that off with a razor strait away, youve gotta hit that with hair clippers first. Once more, now you know
@KingCracker:
Ah the old 'religious signifigance' trick, I love that one simply because no-one is willing to call you up on it (unless they ask you to perform a bar-mitzvah or something), for added effectiveness invent some phony scripture to reel off if they call your bluff.
Whenever I go to festivals, I never take the entrance-wristband-things off (until they fall off of their own accord). The supermarket I work at doesn't allow jewelery, so I claimed they were of religious significance, and came up with this little gem in case they asked me to prove it:
'And lo, he did say unto the gathered people, "Go forth into the field my children, and partake of ale from a paper cup, and listen to the divine music that is the word of my teaching. Wear your wristbands as a sign of your faith, so that other may know you are a member of my flock, Amen'
Haven't had to use it yet, but I think it'll work
In theory you could shave it with a razor, but it would hurt a lot and require a lot of razors to do it (I imagine they would get clogged up pretty quickly).
The only thing that truly annoys me about facial hair is when chaps grow a full-face beard, and then cut the hair and beard to all exactly the same length, they just look like a coconut with a stupid grin
I've had a beard off and on since my junior year in high school. Shaved it off for a couple summer internships, but I hate being clean shaven. At least give me some stubble to rough things up a bit. I can never get past the "itchy peak" though and normally when I get to that point I take it down to a 1 or 2 with the clippers. Neckbeard is annoying though. Every now and then I muse on getting it lasered, before I realize I shouldn't allow myself to be quite THAT lazy.
My beard definitely has a ton of different color to it as well. The mop on top of my head is generally a very dark brown, but the beard is mostly brown, with some scattered blond, and a few red patches.
Not worrying about downstairs, but I just recently trimmed my wildly out of control NHL play-off beard back to respectability. Took forever to go from crazed mountain hobo back to evil Spock. Hit it up with scissors first before finally busting out the Schick Quattro. Debating getting clippers and a trimmer, or straight razor, just because it seems more manly.
As to the OP, for me, too long is when I get the ultra itchy neckbeard. Plus when it gets more than three or four inches below my chin, it starts heavily curving off to the right and that looks stupid, so when the curve is visible, I cut that gak.
Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
-sighs- i dont think ill ever get a beard, i either pull it out (literally, with my fingers) in the itchy stage or it looks absolutely horrific, so im left with a baby face or i look like a deranged hobo Y.Y oh beard god, give this lowly young man the face fuzz he most desires and i shall slaughter little plastic men in your honour and collect there skulls and plastic blood for your toilet seat... sorry i mean throne! Y.Y
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
What's wrong with leaving it alone though? It looks fine to me.
Urgh, you clearly are lacking in the hygiene department if your downstairs hair smells! Or perhaps you have some gross fungal infection....
On the topic of beards i dont think i could grow a full one, i definitely have at least one baldspot in the chinstrap and no real chin hair i also refuse to grow my mustache ever again. Anyway my sculpted jaw and perfect chin are too good to hide. I dont need to 'grow a jawline' like some people do.
I have currently got mutton chop esque side burns but that annoying 'transition void' between Hair sideburn and Facial hair sideburn so have to cheat by careful coiffeury (i cut my own hair).
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
I feel that I know you more intimately than I know people who've been in my life for years
On beards, my face fuzz isn't ready to start growing. I've got a small patch of black/blonde gak on the bottom centre of my chin and a few strays dotted around the cheeks, but that's about the only stuff that grows consistently.
Until a time where it feels comfortable to burst forth, i'm content with being turned down for jobs because of my other hair length. (Make what you will of that sentence.)
micahaphone wrote:No beard for me. A little known fact about gingers is that not all of our hair is the same fire-like orange as that which graces the top of our heads. For example, take a look at a local ginger's eyebrows. They are most likely anywhere from light orange to pale and white/clear. As is such, my facial hair is practically transparent, and attempts to grow it out only prove to be futile.
I know this fact all to well my friend, that is why I only have a goatee and a well trimmed stache. My facial hair ranges from red to white, blond, clear and black. Clear and Black, WTF? I have about a 1/4 inch patch on both sides were my hair refuses to grow into sideburns. Last time I tried to grow a full beard I was called patch and Keanu.
See how he is all patchy.
The sad part is his beard looks "full" compared to my facial hair.
If I could grow half the hair on my face that I manage to grow on my ass and legs then I would be golden.
On the up side I am impervious to cold toilet seats.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?
Meh, Being that I'm the only one who sees that area I only cut the hedges when I feel like it, or really bored.
With that attitude, no wonder mister
I think it takes a little more than trimming bush for most of us Dakkanauts to woo the women Cannerus, not all of us are seductive as you are.
What I think that Cannerus is saying is that when you care enough to tidy up and trim those " lower hedges" your probably also adressing all he other "grooming" issues...and thus making yourself more appealing to others.
Not mention hairy "lower regions" are just...foul.
How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.
nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.
But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!
I will never grow a beard. I think they are kind of gross. Plus, I'm only 14 so if I did try to grow one all I would end up with would be a puberty beard.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?
See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.
It'd be a pretty odd trip to hospital. You arrive at A&E with one hand holding a towel to your crotch, the other holding a cool bag packed with ice surrounding your seperated member...
nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.
But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!
Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others
nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.
But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!
Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others
nerdfest09 wrote:How can i Not comment on a beard thread especially from KC! two inches!...two whole inches! I can't believe it! YOU! of all people making yourself two inches less of a man /Ork! if i could grow mine that long I would in a heartbeat!....or 3 years.
But you can never do that because the beard god has abandoned you? Beards for the beard god!
Now now now, I didnt abandon him, Im just more gracious to some then others
Funny story I have,A few years ago i walked into a mcdonalds with my great grandma. She went to order the food and i found a table. Not long after i sat down at my table a few college chicks walked up to me ,telling me how cute i was and stuff,untill of course great gradma finishes getting the food an walked up to the table and wanted to know why college girls were trying to seduce a 13 year old.
When I grow my NHL playoff beard, everyone calls me Malhotra on account of the fact that I get the same wierd 'swirl' thing going on with the rear sides, right next to my jaw hinge
Henners91 wrote:If it's a neckbeard; too long is anything.
Now see I dont personally count a neckbeard as a real beard. When I say beard, Im talking a real fething beard, one that you have to groom, and they come in many shapes and sizes. Neckbeards are just lazy people that dont want to shave let alone shower. Rather big difference
this might shock people, but i get a proper hobo beard before it even starts growing on my neck o.o even then its sparce and only around the creases going down from the ear, between the back of the chin and neck to the other ear o.o
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Basic trimming isn't much work, honestly. Vivid detail:
Spoiler:
Just use some scissors and his the upper regions down to a cm or so and it only takes about 15 seconds. That's usually good enough for most womenfolk in my experience, but I go the extra mile and shave around too. I make sure to leave a little "lion's mane" so I don't have pricklies in the wrong spots. I encourage you all to keep it up though, you never know when the opportunity till pop up.
Great. I follow internet advice and now I look like a sunburnt elephant. Thanks.
You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.
I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time
remilia_scarlet wrote:You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.
I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time
In 30 years I've never had anything grow out of my face that felt anything like a rabbit pelt...a scouring pad perhaps, but never a rabbits pelt.
Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:What about downstairs? What's everyone's maintenance ritual and tools of choice?
See, I'd be worried about accidentally shaving my cock off.
Straight razor and bad aim?
Spoiler:
Knowing Alby, it's probably to large.
Oh, and my mutton chops are coming in. Time to grap the straight razor and hack the bitches off. That's right. Chowder is using a straight razor.
I've also used a hunting knife, swiss army knife, rigging knife, and once tried a kitchen knife, when the straight razor isn't available, IE when I'm sailing for days on end. Let me tell you, never shave with a kitchen knife. the damned things are much to dull and keep getting caught.
remilia_scarlet wrote:You guys are lucky, I can't grow a beard, I'm just too feminine, so, on Saturday, I went t to an arts and crafts store to pick up some testors non-toxic glue, and while browsing, I saw those fake rabbit pelts, I put one on my chin, like a beard, and it felt nice.
I tried to see what a beard feels like, I lived for the first time
In 30 years I've never had anything grow out of my face that felt anything like a rabbit pelt...a scouring pad perhaps, but never a rabbits pelt.
I just thought about the idea of having hair on my chin.
I've had facial hair from late year 5. Not good at that age.
Been shaving since end of year 7.
I've had a bear most of that once I could since no one else could. Hated the moustache and got rid off that but I hate shaving so I put it off for so long.
Current beard is 2/3 inches long been growing for about 2 months probably less.
If I shave now I could expect a reasonable goatee and full sideburns like Cheesecat's picture within 2 weeks.
I only sometimes hate the absurd amount of testosterone I have.
I'm 17 by the way and have been told I look between 20 and 25. Unshaven I look my age or a year or two younger.
KingCracker wrote:See thats where I shine. I had a similar experience but rather then lose the job or my beard, I told them Im actually Hebrew, and for religious reasons I cant shave my beard. Now admittedly, I know jack about Hebrew customs, I just know some of them have beards. But it worked, and I got the job. KACHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You, good sir, are my new idol.
As for my facial hair, all I have is the goatee and some decent sideburns. I can't grow mutton chops/beard
...I wonder if putting Rogaine all over my face would help me grow a lumberjack beard...
Mines a goatee as well, and according to the Missus I look like I'm " A kid" without it, which I suppose is a good thing considering I'm closing in on 42.
See how he is all patchy.
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It looks fine to me.
