Also,my Vindicare assassin rolling 1 and rolling a 1 for reroll,in 2 consecutive turns.The modal that killed his last wound?Ghazzie shot him.Double 6.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
I know.Both players realised after the GK won by wipeout.

Deadshot wrote:This I put on another thread as well.

My friend is playing Planetstrike as tau defenders,his opponent GK.


He was dared by me to use the Aun'va,and Klador Draigo drops in and assaults him.


Draigo misses with evry attack and Aun'va rolls all 6s.


Klador Draigo fails one save and rolls a 1 for sweeping advance,Aun'va rolls 6.





Both players were like this

I call shennigans. No one plays Aun'va, and if this did occur the end of days would have happened!

My Firewarriors beat a squad of Chaos Marines in CC.....twice

Melchiour wrote:

Deadshot wrote:This I put on another thread as well.

My friend is playing Planetstrike as tau defenders,his opponent GK.


He was dared by me to use the Aun'va,and Klador Draigo drops in and assaults him.


Draigo misses with evry attack and Aun'va rolls all 6s.


Klador Draigo fails one save and rolls a 1 for sweeping advance,Aun'va rolls 6.





Both players were like this

I call shennigans. No one plays Aun'va, and if this did occur the end of days would have happened!

True story.And he did.I dared him.He accepted.

Well I have had some stupid stuff happen to my army....
"Marines! We march to war!"
Baneblade explodes and results in apocalyptic explosion.
"OH hell No!"
Entire 2nd company is wiped out.
ha stupid Storm Knights.
Well that is 3,000 points gone by friendly fire.
The baneblade was hit by 3 vindicators all of which were trying to destroy a daemon group.... well they succeeded after the explosion their weapons scattered directly ontop of the baneblade. 3 times...... This seemed impossible but anyway.....

How about getting boned by a Daemonette.

I had a squad of four Tactical Marines fire at my Daemon Prince, intending to Assault simply to deny the charge. Elegantly put, they had no chance to charge...

Apocalypse game where it was getting towards the last turns of the game,through out it yarrick had been sneaking towards my shadowsword and when he eventually reached it he through his vortex grenade only to have it bounce back and suck him and nork dedog into the warp,the next turn the grenade also bounced onto samiaul

Oh, I remembered another one... encircled a friend's land raider, all exit points, with my reavers. Hit it with the blaster and blew it to smithereens, taking out the squad inside when they couldn't disembark. He lost about a quarter of his force with that one shot.

Being a Daemon Primarch and having a mere Astartes curb-stomp you and carve his BFF's name in your heart.

The oldest and most embarrassing way to die in 40k was back in 2nd edition when Vortex grenades were still around. Was always funny when a character would charge towards something important in your army and then have the vortex grenade scatter back onto themselves and obliterate them. Saw a friend's ork warboss do this to himself no less than 3 different times. Of course he kept taking the vortex grenade because he thought it was really orky to carry weapons that could just obliterate yourself completely.

In general it is always embarrassing to die to fire warriors in close combat...

Skriker

Skriker wrote:The oldest and most embarrassing way to die in 40k was back in 2nd edition when Vortex grenades were still around. Was always funny when a character would charge towards something important in your army and then have the vortex grenade scatter back onto themselves and obliterate them. Saw a friend's ork warboss do this to himself no less than 3 different times. Of course he kept taking the vortex grenade because he thought it was really orky to carry weapons that could just obliterate yourself completely.

In general it is always embarrassing to die to fire warriors in close combat...

Skriker

This used to be a strategy where I am from, cheap character that can take vortex grenade + bike + old rule that grenades cant scatter more than distance thrown = suicide unit.


Forget exactly what the scatter rule was but had to do with distance thrown.

Melchious, your avatar makes me want to beat babies . . .


On a serious note. Having Farsight and his squad of 3 Crisis Suits beating down on Abbadon, a Daemon Prince, and a full squad of Khorne Terminators.

After the game, the guy hurled his stuff into the nearby woods.

My army went "Trolo-lo-lo-lo-lol"

2 vs 2 super fluff apoc game

my slaaneshi gaurdsmen and a slaanesh daemon player vs khorny orks and khorne spess mehreens

my 6 armoured sentinels walk across the flank killing 2 dreads and ghaz with laz and plas cannons

before some how standing close enough together to fall inside a pie plate from a rather accurate stompa and all being killed in one turn of shooting

Skriker wrote:The oldest and most embarrassing way to die in 40k was back in 2nd edition when Vortex grenades were still around. Was always funny when a character would charge towards something important in your army and then have the vortex grenade scatter back onto themselves and obliterate them. Saw a friend's ork warboss do this to himself no less than 3 different times. Of course he kept taking the vortex grenade because he thought it was really orky to carry weapons that could just obliterate yourself completely.

In general it is always embarrassing to die to fire warriors in close combat...

Skriker

Actually, what was just as embarassing was when (also in 2nd ed) I had a low point game with a friend and brought an all-termi space wolves army, and he brought a warp spider exarch with two vortex grenades which were both bang on target, leaving me with about five halves of wolf guard terminators after turn two.

Eversor own Hive tyrant and trygon, before owned by termaguant

Let's see here...

Tau vs. Chaos Space Marines: The Chaos Lord (on his beastie mount) charges the Tau Commander. Rolls for his Daemon weapon...and rolls doubles. Hits himself in the head, and the Tau player goes. The Commander hits with every attack, wounds with every attack, and the Lord fails one save. He then takes two Fearless saves...and fails both of them.

Tau vs. Grey Knights (3rd Edition): A squad of PAGKs charges a group of Tau Fire Warriors through a doorway, into ruins. Most of the Tau miss/fail to wound, but one guy manages to throat-punch a Grey Knight, sending him to the floor. Fire Warriors still died, but it was an impressive moment.

Space Wolves vs. Blood Angels: After rampaging across the back half of the board, taking out a Grey Hunter squad and a Long Fang squad, Mephy is down to 2 wounds. His turn rolls around, he starts rolling for psychic powers...and double 6s come up. Twice.

Space Wolves vs. Blood Angels: After killing off my Wolf Court, Mephiston (again, with two wounds left) uses Wings of Sanguinius to get himself some wings. Rolls double 1s for the power, getting Perils. He then jumps out of the piece of area terrain he was in...and another one hits the board. So after his head partially exploded from using psychic powers, he proceeded to jump straight into a wall at top speed.

Imperial Guard vs. Space Wolves: This is not nearly as bad as the other, almost exact same moment from someone else, but a Company Command Squad armed with two plasma guns takes aim at a squad of Grey Hunters. Both guns roll a 1 (the first time they fired that game), then both guys fail their armor as their guns explode. To add a little extra insult, the lascannon that hit the Hunters rolled a 1 to wound. And for the cherry on top, the squad failed their Leadership, and booked it straight back off the table.

Imperial Guard vs. Space Wolves (Same as above): Not really a humiliating death story, but more of a fail-tastic moment for my Wolf Court. Last turn of the game, they break off from each other to bash some faces in, taking a few last-minute points from different Guard units. The Wolf Claw takes down a full squad by himself (5 wounds, took none, ran them off the board), the Frost weapon brigade took down an entire squad of Vets (which had embarrassingly managed to FRFSRF the turn before and land...one wound from a full round of las shots), and the Thunder Hammer charged the Leman Russ, which had moved about 2 inches the previous turn. Rolling 6 attacks on the charge, he rolled...1,2,3,3,2,1. Complete miss on a nearly stationary target, and the strongest unit in my list.

Imperial Guard vs. Tyranids (and later, vs. Chaos Space Marines): It comes up once in a blue moon, but this game it happened. A Chimera tank-shocked a Hive Tyrant. The Tyrant rolled to penetrate the Chimera, and...double 1s hit the table. Ka-THUNK, ka-THUNK! Same moment happened in a game vs. CSMs, but with Abaddon. Which leads me into...

Team game (Tau, Eldar and Space Wolves vs. Tau, Space Marines, and Chaos Space Marines): On turn 3, Abaddon and a full squad of Obliterators deep strike onto the battlefield. They roll a 4 and a 6 to scatter and launch themselves off the table, luckily only getting a Delayed result. The next turn, the same squad jumps back into the fight, and...scatters straight into a squad of Eldar Dire Avengers, this time getting destroyed in the result. The CSM player has learned not to try this tactic again.

and finally...

Apocalypse game (Space Wolves and Tau vs. Chaos Space Marines and Eldar): Two fail deaths here. The first was when my three Vindicators (using the Line Breaker formation) roll up, ready to wreak havoc. Out of range, the Eldar player uses some big psychic attack that launches a bunch of templates (I believe it was part of his Asset choice, which he used for a big Eldar Seer Council unit). Through some lucky scattering (for him), one Vindicator dies, one gets its weapon blown off, and the last gets shaken, without ever having had a chance to shoot.

The next turn, my three squads of the Wulfen Guard hit the back edge of the table, ready to assault and rip some Eldar apart. Until both players announce that they have Snipers. In a few volleys of shooting, all but about 3 Wulfen Guard are dead, taking my entire army out in two turns.

Vulkan He'stan charges 10 guardsmen, killing one, guardsmen wound him three times, and he fails every single 2+ save, dying terribly. Later in that game, a squad of TH/SS termies charge the same squad, and are wiped out to a man, before killing any guardsmen...and then i proceeded to get massacred in the first round of ard boyz xD

Back when I was running Speed Freakz, when they had the Fighta-Bomba raid, I took out a bunch of my friend's Eldar, including his Warlock. 6 wounds, a 3+ save, and he screwed up 4 of them.

Belexar wrote:I once heard of an Assault Terminator who died to a Fire Warrior. In CC.

I had a LC terminator die to a Tau shield drone in close combat. It was so bad I was laughing. It was too amusing to be pissed. Last terminator of the squad too.

XV8's with all hardpoints filled with support, no weapons as joke. He then proceeds to kill a trygon in CC.

10 Termagaunts fire their fleshborers at 5 Missile Launcher BA Devastators with Corbulo attached. 6 wounds. Each Devastator fails his armor and FNP rolls leaving Corbulo standing alone. Corbulo fails his armor save, fails his +2 FNP save, and then fails his +2 FNP save again using his one game re-roll. Corbulo then fails his Leadership Test and runs off the board.

Best shooting phase ever.

Opponent played IG in apoc, spent almost all of his points on deathstrike launchers (or whatever they're called) and ONE volley killed both my hunter Cadre's :(

2ed: Marneus Calgar's Displacer Field took him out of a Carnifex's arms, and into the middle of a pack of Genestealers.

This is just golden, someone needs to commemorate that onto some artificer armor.

2nd edition. i am playing a game against a guy playing 2000 ponts, of chaos with ork kommando's with a kustom force field as an ally.

he deep strikes in abadon, who, because of the force field, cannot land where he scattered to. he gets stuck on the other side of the force field, staring down an entire 2000 point ultramarine army, complete with more las cannons than you can shake a squig at.

abaddon killed my entire army.

bad rolls meant i couldnt hit him, or wound him, so that kind of sucked, but he was also on a larger 50mm square base (the guy had to have room for base adornments) and so he could charge three or four models a turn.

he walked through squad after squad, and when he wasint in combat, i couldnt manage to hit him, late alone wound, and the talon of horous mean i kept running away because he caused terror, so after the first round, my weapons wouldnt stay still to shoot.

i shot that @#$%@#$ with no less than 24 lascannon and krak missle launcher shots, none of which would do the job.

then, my opponent brags about how it was his plan all along and how he was skilled in his movement and selection to get me to shoot at him and nothing else.

the funniest part was the kustom force field really ended up screwing him in the long run, not that he needed any luck.

a few games later i saw him use this same tatic on another marine player, who DID NOT roll all ones and twos to hit, and abaddon died horrible the turn he showed up.

to make it a little better, he lost his blood thirster to the warp in the same game.

seemed good to me.

Sc077y wrote:2nd edition. i am playing a game against a guy playing 2000 ponts, of chaos with ork kommando's with a kustom force field as an ally.

he deep strikes in abadon, who, because of the force field, cannot land where he scattered to. he gets stuck on the other side of the force field, staring down an entire 2000 point ultramarine army, complete with more las cannons than you can shake a squig at.

abaddon killed my entire army.

bad rolls meant i couldnt hit him, or wound him, so that kind of sucked, but he was also on a larger 50mm square base (the guy had to have room for base adornments) and so he could charge three or four models a turn.

he walked through squad after squad, and when he wasint in combat, i couldnt manage to hit him, late alone wound, and the talon of horous mean i kept running away because he caused terror, so after the first round, my weapons wouldnt stay still to shoot.

i shot that @#$%@#$ with no less than 24 lascannon and krak missle launcher shots, none of which would do the job.

then, my opponent brags about how it was his plan all along and how he was skilled in his movement and selection to get me to shoot at him and nothing else.

the funniest part was the kustom force field really ended up screwing him in the long run, not that he needed any luck.

a few games later i saw him use this same tatic on another marine player, who DID NOT roll all ones and twos to hit, and abaddon died horrible the turn he showed up.

to make it a little better, he lost his blood thirster to the warp in the same game.

seemed good to me.

Just as Planned.

My Grey Knight Grand Master was in combat with some Necron Warriors and I they got three wounds on him. I rolled . GRRRRRRR

My Avatar of khaine got killed by 3 khorne bezerkers and i charged

I rolled a 1-filled Yahtzee when I defended 5 shooting wounds with my Terminators. Does that qualify as epic fail?

Imperial guard versus schao- 400 pt game i was trying out my new elysians (IA vol4 rules). He brings in two marine squads and a sorceror. i fire 10 flashlights onto the sqquad with the sorcer attached and kill them all turn one . we stoped because it scared me that the flashlights did something.

another noteworthy fail... playign shooty orks. first time fielding my SAG models mind you

list fo 2x big meks w/ sag
2x10 gretchin w/ rith
2x 15 lootas.

deployed into two pieces of terrain grots behind lootas in front and around SAG basicall same setup on secodn piece of twerrain i win rolloff and go first.

turn 1

1st SAG roll ... models in D6 inches removed mos tthe grots and the ruth are goen as well as 9 lootas

2nd SAG same exact result

all morale checks failed.. terrain was all on the edge everything runs off the board

tabled myself turn 1 before they rolled a single dice

Havok210 wrote:I rolled a 1-filled Yahtzee when I defended 5 shooting wounds with my Terminators. Does that qualify as epic fail?

That is an Epic Fail,anywhere.

Avatar getting run over by a Chimera after rolling a 3 on 2d6 for armor pen on a death or glory test.

The store's first Trygon getting likewise instantly crushed by a devilfish in its first game when it likewise failed to penetrate the armor on a death or glory test

I was playing a chaos guy and he had abbadon the despoiler and kharn with many bezerkers in combat with my captain and his command squad, abbadon killed himself then kharn proceeded to kill 5 bezerkers. then i finished kharn.

G00fySmiley wrote:another noteworthy fail... playign shooty orks. first time fielding my SAG models mind you

list fo 2x big meks w/ sag
2x10 gretchin w/ rith
2x 15 lootas.

deployed into two pieces of terrain grots behind lootas in front and around SAG basicall same setup on secodn piece of twerrain i win rolloff and go first.

turn 1

1st SAG roll ... models in D6 inches removed mos tthe grots and the ruth are goen as well as 9 lootas

2nd SAG same exact result

all morale checks failed.. terrain was all on the edge everything runs off the board

tabled myself turn 1 before they rolled a single dice

Epic Fail.Can I play against you some time?

gh05tdemon wrote:Imperial guard versus schao- 400 pt game i was trying out my new elysians (IA vol4 rules). He brings in two marine squads and a sorceror. i fire 10 flashlights onto the sqquad with the sorcer attached and kill them all turn one . we stoped because it scared me that the flashlights did something.

Maybe the troopers decided to throw their power-bayonets that turn and got all headshots?

Abbadon tore through three guardsmen squads...Then the lone survivor from one stopped running, took a potshot at him and killed him. With a LASGUN

Necrons VS SMs in an 800 point game. The Necron player has the Nightbringer and 20ish Warriors. The Nightbringer eats the SM player's Captain in CC, so the SM player calls Tank Shock on him with an empty rhino. Nightbringer autopens(S10 base), rolls a 1 on the damage chart, and gets reduced from mighty Star-god to Roadkill.

I killed a unit of my friend's Genestealers in hand to hand with Jokero Weaponsmiths.

All these things happen?

Lord of Baal wrote:All these things happen?

Most of 'em. I imagine a few of the more outrageous ones WERE made up/exaggerated.

Like individual FW killing entire termie squads.

It could happen, as long as the FW all rolled like 6 and the Termies all rolled like 1. LOL

Gotta say a CSM lord with 2 wounds on him surviving 3 rounds of shooting and assaulting and single handily taking out my entire 1500pts of necrons(though the 2 liths and 5 warriors got phased out). I was completely speechless, and so was everyone else at the tournament.

mine would probably be.... I fired a plasma cannon from a devestator squad then it scatered back at me. it hit all five devs, and killed them all...

Space Marine commanders (mostly Calgar or Pedro) have a horrible habit of being killed in close combat to the few guardsmen of mine that are still left to attack back a lot of the time. Other than that it is quite fun for my enemy's big nasty monster to be tank shocked to death by artillery vehicles (my next Basilisk definately will have a lunatic waving a sword somewhere on it).

I killed Cato Sicarius in CC with Shadowsun back when I ran her. That was pretty cool

same game I killed Vulkan in CC with pathfinders.

What hand happened was I shot the crap out of them, but they always passed their saves and the Assault marines with them would fail all of thiers. when both squads finally caught thier respective Targets, their luck had run out and they got beat down.

Shadowsun still had all of her Drones and it was a 6 man squad of Pathfinders.

Iur_tae_mont wrote:I killed Cato Sicarius in CC with Shadowsun back when I ran her. That was pretty cool

same game I killed Vulkan in CC with pathfinders.

What hand happened was I shot the crap out of them, but they always passed their saves and the Assault marines with them would fail all of thiers. when both squads finally caught thier respective Targets, their luck had run out and they got beat down.

Shadowsun still had all of her Drones and it was a 6 man squad of Pathfinders.

What size was the game? Shadowsun is, I find, only worth it in big games.

Avatar with one wound left, charges a 10 man squad of regular Guardsman. Kills 9 . Lone sergeant with nothing but a laspitol, chainsword and flak armor . Yells "for the emperor " with my voice . Hits and wounds the avatar. Fails his save and down the deamon goes. Followed by victory lol

im2randomghgh wrote:

Iur_tae_mont wrote:I killed Cato Sicarius in CC with Shadowsun back when I ran her. That was pretty cool

same game I killed Vulkan in CC with pathfinders.

What hand happened was I shot the crap out of them, but they always passed their saves and the Assault marines with them would fail all of thiers. when both squads finally caught thier respective Targets, their luck had run out and they got beat down.

Shadowsun still had all of her Drones and it was a 6 man squad of Pathfinders.

What size was the game? Shadowsun is, I find, only worth it in big games.

2k.

Iur_tae_mont wrote:

im2randomghgh wrote:

Iur_tae_mont wrote:I killed Cato Sicarius in CC with Shadowsun back when I ran her. That was pretty cool

same game I killed Vulkan in CC with pathfinders.

What hand happened was I shot the crap out of them, but they always passed their saves and the Assault marines with them would fail all of thiers. when both squads finally caught thier respective Targets, their luck had run out and they got beat down.

Shadowsun still had all of her Drones and it was a 6 man squad of Pathfinders.

What size was the game? Shadowsun is, I find, only worth it in big games.

2k.

Meh, fair enough.

A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

How very...Slanneshi of you my friend Near-death by cuddling. Are you sure these are regular SOBs and not Daemonettes posing as them? Or just Daemonettes posing. In general. Man, I feel like that would be a great swimsuit issue...Daemonettes posing. MMMMMMmmmmm....

Whoops. Bad thought. I blame the phone call I just got a little while ago for putting me in a warped mood!

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

i just....WOW....i dont know what to say, only that i need to go hug my wife.

Sc077y wrote:

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

i just....WOW....i dont know what to say, only that i need to go hug my wife.

Just give her water and don't gag her. Otherwise you'll be treating her like a Space Marine in this epic tale Actually, based on this story...I'm pretty sure that could be labeled as spouse abuse. We need your name and address good sir (or ma'am) so we can report you to the proper authorities. Once again...I blame this on my phone call

Most definitly. Cuddling is a deadly weapon.


Its actually plan B for the Cat World Domination Association. If the humans stop complying, turn off the safety on all cuddlers.

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

This is probably the strangest thing I've read in a while.

coolyo294 wrote:

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

This is probably the strangest thing I've read in a while.

Says the guy whos Sig includes the phrase "Grand High Poobah"

Grey Templar wrote:

coolyo294 wrote:

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

This is probably the strangest thing I've read in a while.

Says the guy whos Sig includes the phrase "Grand High Poobah"

Clearly, I'm just channeling this guy:

I was paying a 500 point 3 person free for all with my guard. I had 2 penal legion squads, a leman russ demolisher, and a command squad. i was playing space wolves and orks. space wolves obliterated the first penal legion squad, orks killed the second and my command squad, and the demolisher scatered on to itself, then exploded. I killed a few orks, that is all.

timetowaste85 wrote:

Pouncey wrote:A Combat Squad was assaulted by a unit of Seraphim led by Saint Celestine. The Seraphim tied them all up, slapped small teleport beacons on them, and they were beamed away, and after the battle they were snuggled until they begged for mercy. They suffered greatly thereafter, as mercy was granted and their armor was mostly removed so they could feel the power armored females snuggling them better. Unfortunately, since the Space Marines were gagged, and couldn't speak, they couldn't remind the Seraphim to feed and water them, and they thirsted to death after months of being snuggled all day and night.

Aww, I made myself cry, because creatures dying of thirst is saddening... Maybe a little retconning...

They ALMOST died of thirst, but then their Chapter Master, finally noticing that some of his Marines were missing, asked his allied Sisters of the Flame if they'd seen the missing 5 Tactical Marines, figuring they were lost. He was then brought to the Marines, and noticed they seemed very thirsty. So he asked how long they'd been without water, and the Seraphim Superior paled at the thought of what had almost happened. Of course, the Seraphim had been enjoying the cuddles too much to notice that the Hellfire Marines were dying. But the gags were undone, the Marines' thirst was quenched, and they all lived happily ever after, fighting the forces of Chaos, the Imperium, and various Xenos.

Yup, near-death by thirst due to excessive cuddling.

How very...Slanneshi of you my friend Near-death by cuddling. Are you sure these are regular SOBs and not Daemonettes posing as them? Or just Daemonettes posing. In general. Man, I feel like that would be a great swimsuit issue...Daemonettes posing. MMMMMMmmmmm....

Whoops. Bad thought. I blame the phone call I just got a little while ago for putting me in a warped mood!

Well, they aren't QUITE regular Battle Sisters... They've been turned against the Imperium, coming to see it as the monstrous place that it is through the use of powerful xenos mind-altering technology. They still know and revere the Emperor, and they're most certainly not allied with Chaos.

They're also a bit more... open... when it comes to affection... to put it mildly. Although daemonettes posing as Sisters of the Flame might be good for an RP sometime with the Chapter Master of the Hellfire Marines... Mmm, I can only imagine the sorts of places that RP would lead to...

Pouncey, you are a very strange person.

coolyo294 wrote:Pouncey, you are a very strange person.

Given what passes for normal in this world, that's not such a bad thing. ^_^

Turn 2 i assault 10 kroot in a building with a chaos daemon prince with all 4 wounds on him, he never got to make his attacks.

King Pariah wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0AiS8OPOL0 starts at around 2:14

I'm just gonna repost this from Most Brutal Way to die.

For those of you who haven't seen it, Termi with twin lightning claws killed in CC by firewarrior, more follows.

I remember watching that from the Brutal Death post :p Its just ridiculous

Pouncey wrote:

coolyo294 wrote:Pouncey, you are a very strange person.

Given what passes for normal in this world, that's not such a bad thing. ^_^

He/She/It has a point. Normal sucks. Also, I want to be the captain who gets involved in that roleplaying:
"Mother Superior, WHERE do you want me to sheath my weapon?? And why are you only wearing a loincloth..."

DakkaDakka wrote: