Alright, so I have been with my girlfriend for two years now, and she has pleasantly accepted my gaming. She actually got to witness a game for the first time just this month, when I was playing a campaign battle on a Sunday evening. She strolled out of bed at about 6 PM (she has narcolepsy and sleeps on and off all the time) and took a look at the board, and said,

"Why are you guys rolling dice and using tape measures?"

Me- "Because there are rules and measurements attributed to all the different models."

Her- "Oh, I thought you guys just set up and played war."

So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

How does my spouse react to my gaming? With indifference and apathy, largely....

Don't forget occasional derision. That's for when you have spent too much on new toys.

My wife thinks it looks like the most boring game ever. She wishes I would put all my warhammer stuff in a cupboard or better - a bin!
She refuses to even watch me play a game.
But most of the time she just lets me get on with it.

She's good! She does a little painting but is more into RPGs and board games than tabletop wargames.

She can see the artistic merit in it and the modelling aspects (her brother plays with trains - although several of his ARE ride-ons, so a little larger than the usual HO scale) but there was nothing but acceptance of it.

She knows it's about measuring and dice rolling. It's my hobby and she leaves me to it.

My wife likes me gaming and painting, she has started painting her self and is really into the fantasy High Elves. Got us Island of Blood for xmas so will see how she gets on gaming

I wish mine would get involved but she will not.

Don't have a wife or girl friend, to my dismay. But my parents hate it, they think its too juvineil



1 Edit, grammer error

My wife ignores it and I'm pretty sure she thinks a 32 year old man shouldn't be messing about with plastic little dudes.

My 3 year old really digs it though. He likes 'painting'. I'm sure he'll play it when he's older.

Mrs. Snurl likes it because she says it keeps me out of trouble. She's after me every few weeks to paint seasonal characters on her fingernails.

My wife tolerates it. She knows it keeps me sane....kinda. Doesn't help that I got her brother-in-law-to-be completely hooked on awhile back.

She's trying it this coming weekend. I'll let you know how it turns out!

My wife collects Eldar and Dark Eldar.

She's more into the collecting/painting end that the playing, as she doesn't like to lose. I play at a 500 pt handicap against her, as I play biweekly and she plays about bimonthly. It gives me a challenge and makes sure she has a decent chance of beating me hollow

She's starting to get back into the playing side, is a far better painter than i am, and is more rabidly into Pathfinder (d and d) than I am.

How did your spouse react to your gaming?

Same way she reacts to me naked. Lots of giggling.

All important rule #1 in both matters:

Laugh if you want to, but don't point

Lady Thorne is much like Chromedog's wife in that she acknowledges that it keeps me busy, makes pretty things, but also makes a mess and detracts from the time I could spend paying homage to her.

Kronk, is that the :good: giggling or the :funny: giggling? It's important that there's a distinction...

mine has asked me to set up a displaycaes for my finished modlels. she enjoys the detail in them and knows that its the one hobby i wont part with. when i head out for a gamenight she says" have a goodnight with your girfriend, ill see you in the morning".

My girlfriend thinks its cool. She tells me she wants to try it out

My wife scrapbooks so we both have our crafty hobby. I always get a kick out of 'you already have dozens of men and a couple tanks, why do you need more? Can't you play with the one you already have?"

She watched one game at my local shop but was terrified by the D&D people and has never returned. After she witnessed D&D, she let me get further into warhammer 'because at least the other players shave'.

While no current misses at the moment (ish)... i know a longer gamer with a beard... (ish)... anyway :3 i always make sure they know i do it, i wont change, but im not obsessive and it doesnt rule my life (once (mostly) or twice (rarely) a week ill go to my mates for painting/game for a few hours), ive yet to find one that hates it, yet ive had one or three that were actually willing to help me paint them :3 yet to find a gamer misses, but they all knew i do it to keep my frustrations to a minimum and it helps keep my from getting into trouble. >=D

@gunslingerpro: If your avatar is your other half, it's gonna turn out reeeealllly good.

Indifference.

Oaka wrote:So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

Heh.

My wife tolerates it, but doesn't think much of the game. She doesn't really care one way or the other, honestly.

My girlfriend is starting a Tau army, but I'm sort of afraid it's going to lead to me sleeping on the couch after a particularly heated match. It'll be nice to be able to just throw down a game whenever we have an evening together though.

Play for favours..

works best if one of you runs Slaaneshi or Dark Eldar...


Nothing better than some hot Wych on Fire-warrior action


Seriously though, make sure the couch is comfortable or play at a handicap. A happy GF is a generous GF





(All views above sanctioned by Wifely Authority. Any resembelance to the authors real views is strictly coincidental... )

Oaka wrote:
So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

Heh heh, she must be a great women for staying with a guy she thought went "pew pew" with army men lol

If her reaction had been too negative, she wouldn't have gotten the position, would she?

Aphrodite took a few months trying to figure it out from the outside, then decided she would have to try it herself to understand it. Once she did (it was mostly D&D at the time, WFB was waiting for a time when I had more cash to spend), she was really bitten with the gaming bug. For more than a decade we were a happy gaming couple.

The past couple years she's kind of fallen out of it, but since she spent many a night at my side she understands the nature of the beast. So long as I don't blow the grocery money on plastic crack, all is fine.

I just had my girlfriend read it and she said "well that is basically what you do". She might have a point....


Automatically Appended Next Post:
She apologizes for bursting your bubble.

When I found my wife, she was quite indifferent to it, didn't really see the point to it. Then when I made the pilgrimage to GW HQ, she converted immediately.

My wife is the reason I got into this hobby. She noticed how happy I was painting minis for D&D Encounters and said "you should do more of this - having a crafty hobby makes you really happy." I thought "If I started playing wargmes, I could be painting minis... forever..." She embraces my hobby enthusiastically, and occasionally contemplates using sculpy and greenstuff to create - and possibly paint - her own minis, but isn't interested in wargames. Our nerdy interests coincide in narrative RPGs.

My gf didn't care much about it at first, she thought it was an action figure thing guys always do. Walked into my hobby room three or four times and thought nothing about it. Then one day she found me painting in my little room and asked me about the hobby. We spent half a day in there with me telling her how the models are done and painted, the different armies, GW, and the story of WH40K. Then we played an introductory game. (I was reluctant at first, seeing how it's mostly me and my guy friends that play) But she was serious about wanting to give it a try, so we played an introductory game and she only thought it was okay. She is however, extremely supportive of me having having my little outlet for when I have nothing else to do.

After 10 years my wife has finally bought me a couple of kits as a gift. ( I know because she asked me to give her a list that she would pick from for Christmas).

Of course, it helps that I play this game with 3 of our 5 kids and I have no problem taking care of all of them while she goes out with a couple of her friends. Basically I use this as a way to spend time with them.

I was out of the hobby when I met my fiancee. I'd been 'out' for years. She made a joke about the nerds that hang out in 'that game shop' and I said I used to play. She had a giggle and dropped it.

About a year later the bug bit again, and I started playing again. She had another giggle and called me a nerd, but generally is pretty supportive. She has no clue about it though, and doesn't want to learn. Occasionally she will accompany me into a GW store, though I think the stink makes her want to leave more than boredom.

My girlfriend just kinda rolls her eyes whenever I go to a tournament. She doesn't really care all that much, but definitely gets irked about it sometimes.

She tolerates it and buys me stuff for Christmas and birthdays occasionally. Doesn't like me disappearing for hours on end for painting sessions though, so I normally have to do it in front of the TV to show I'm being sociable.

My wife enjoys playing WFB with me, although she largely just wants to roll dice and win without really learning how to play the game beyond very basics. So basically I play myself with someone else rolling my opponents dice. Tried getting her to paint but she claims her ADD won't let her do it so I don't try anymore.

At least she's supportive of it, although she never likes it when I get an idea for a new army as it means more money spent on mah toy soldiers.

I broke the news to my GF gently and she didnt get to experience most of it before we moved in together. She feels that games are for kids, but I have explained to her that boys will always need their toys. She accepts gaming, refuses to step in to a GW in fear that the stink will never come off though. Seems to appreciate the painting aspect some.

So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

My GF was pleasantly surprised when she saw the rulebook, "oh, theres some rules at least". But she keeps calling everything toys, I dont object.

Edit: there is usually some bribery involved when going to tournaments. 2 day ones are a real pain.

The first time I went to Historicon I took Mrs. Snurl along for a day. She has called it nerdcon and dorkfest ever since, and happily lets me attend without her along.

She doesn't mind it, as long as it doesn't get in the way of other stuff. If it does, she says something about it, of course you go along with it. Marrage is a two way street on this stuff.

My wife knows im a hugh nerd, so she got a SOB army, i have to help her with the really small painting but shes slowly getting into it.

I tend to cycle in and out and back to hobbies over the years was in one of my multi-year gaming hiatuses when my wife and I met. By the time I had come back to gaming we were married so she was kind of blindsided by gaming.

repost from an earlier thread:
My wife loves my LEGO hobby and bass playing, but her opinion of wargaming never recovered from the time she accompanied me on a shopping run to the Chicago Battle Bunker.

Her comment afterwards was "I don't like associating my husband with those people". Not an entirely fair statment, but considering some of the mutants (including an IG player in a boonie hat and vampire cape that I assume was trying to be a Gaunts Ghost) that happened to be present that evening, I can't really blame her.

She still doesn't like wargaming, but she toerates it and has said she likes my current group of gaming friends a few of which we have socialized with outside of gaming. Baby steps...

Mine tolerates it. I also play DnD and video games and we have a 1 year old so I try to squeeze it in when ever there is a space. It usually take about 2 months to get a 5 man squad painted but oh well

First wife hated the hobby and wanted me to quit. Second wife supported it at first then started to hate it because every friday night was for the guys and their toys. Current GF actually wants to play Malifaux, but not 40K. She does not get to play though as game night is guy night. We dont have time to play at home so she just reads the fluff for now. She wants to dabble in painting when we get more time though.

My last girlfriend was supportive at arms-length. She would make snide comments once in a while but overall left me to my own devices when I played. My current girlfriend is much more supportive. Since she is a video game player she can more easily wrap her head around the mechanics of the table top games I play and finds some of the models to be aesthetically pleasing. She has even indulged me a bit and played a few games with me but nothing really took. She does, however, like to read the fiction and in particular enjoys the Horus Heresy novels. She is also very understanding when it comes to purchases because that new $60 tank that I gotta have for my army is no different than the new $60 Xbox game release she has been anticipating.

I think my missus is just relieved I'm not spending the money on knives and cocaine!

Her indoors dispises it. Bought Blood bowl team manager today and had a game with her, she wasn't amused.
I don't really help to keep it out of her way, as my painting table is on the computer desk in the lounge, although i have been paid to paint stuff for a guy i know and she likes the fact that you can get paid to sit and paint tiny men.

My Wife is Supportive. She plays both Fantasy and Warhammer 40K. She recruited her friend and her husband to play so she will go down to the store on her own during the weekend to play her girlfriend.

When we were younger my wife did attempt to make me stop. I just gave her a choice, I was more than willing to sell all my miniatures, but then when the weekends rolled around she better be prepared for me to hit the bars and strip clubs with the money I was not longer spending on the hobby. She has been enthusiastic ever since.

she doesn't care one way or the other. my son is into it, though.

My gf calls me nerd jokingly, but she repeatedly tells me she thinks its cute because I talk about it and get excited. She also would rather me hang out with a bunch of nerds at a game shop then with my drunk and druggy college acquaintances! Hehehe I love that girl and my minis!

My boyfriend is the one who got me into the hobby. He's completely addicted to both 40k and Fantasy. I never really knew what it was he did until he let me paint a Tyranid and we played a small intro game together. Now I'm am as addicted as he is and we often game together and try to get all my friends into it.

My girlfriend just tells me how cute it is whenever wargames get mentioned, and calls me "her little nerd".
I enjoy it this way. ^^

funny reading this thread... as other have said my gf at first was reluctant and getting frusterated at me staying up late painting and such. She eventually said she wanted to try and build something, and her attention to detail helped out as she cleaned up every little bit she was cutting to glue. I'm now her 'nerdy baby'., and when I go to play shes says have fun with your girlfriends playing your game. She got me some stuff for xmas which was funny as I pictured her trying to find stuff at the hobby store. But she recently told me that occasionally when shes sitting in nursing class at night she has the urge to build. And yesterday after receiving a nice holiday bonus she is trying to convince me to go buy some things for her to build..... time to start a new army ^.^ SHe gets more mad about me trolling through forums and watching batreps than the hobby itself I think.

I've actually been with my girlfriend longer than I've been into wargaming, so it's nothing that could've turned her off of me, initially, even if she were that type. Luckily, she's perfectly accepting, if not particularly interested.

I think it's just worn thin, by now. Initially, she was mildly interested, merely because it was new and exciting for me. She thought the artistic side was pretty cool, but wasn't really interested in playing. Actually, she lost interest in the artistic side pretty quickly, as well. The warboss she wanted to paint sat primed for a full year before I gave up hope and painted it, myself.

She dabbled in RPGs when friends ran D&D campaigns in college (which never lasted more than a session or two, sadly) and has gotten more into skirmish-type boardgames, lately (played a D&D boardgame with my sister and her boyfriend, then I picked up a copy of DKH: Dead Rising). She even enjoyed the handful of Infinity games I roped her into, but she'd never request one - those only happen in small batches of 2-3 quick games, once or twice a year.

Right now, painting is just something I do up in my pseudo-mancave, no different then putzing around online. Occasionally, we'll game together, but that's usually a boardgame. I don't buy much (and what I do buy are usually tools that can be used for other crafty projects, including making things for her) and I don't run off to play at the LGS, so there's never any real cause for friction - I know not to mention it beyond the occasional "I made progress on my current project, yay!" and she doesn't have to lie and feign interest or tell me to shut the hell up about it, already.

Generally a lack of understanding of exactly what it is the biggest obstacle.

When I was a staffer I used to encounter all sorts of 'spousal or parental opposition' ... usually this was the point where I asked if they knew what it's all about. Below are some of the more common replies, and occasionally how I'd respond to them... Paraphrasing obviously...

"I know exactly what it is but I'm just completely uninterested and don't see the fascination." OR "I don't know/understand what it is, I'm not interested, I don't want to hear it, and I don't like it."
- No worries...
- Fair enough, but it makes him/her happy doesn't it ?
- <very brief explanation>
- So you're having a go at him/her for it but you've never tried it? Ouuuch!!!

"I thought it was all about <insert misconception here>"

"It's too expensive!"
-Yeah but I bet you could make a deal where s/he spends the same amount of money on you. (She ended up with a £250 handbag IIRC)
- <generic value for money statement and/or comparison with computer games/horse riding/golf>
- Have you SEEN how many Space Marines you get for the same price as a PS3 and five games?

"I don't care what he spends his money on as long as he's happy."
- Fair play
- Aren't you in the least bit curious?


The all-time best objection EVER, though, was a parental one. It came from a mother who had split up with the father of her son. Dad plus kid had visited the store, liked it, and decided it was something they could 'do together'.

"He used to just sit quietly in his room on his console. Now all he wants do to is show me what he's painted. He was so quiet before and now he wants to come to the store, or see his Dad, have his friends over to play games. YOU HAVE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON!"
- ...
(YES this was real, NO GW staffers are not authorised to involve social services. They have to call someone else who advises them and/or dealt with it for them)

Oh and EDIT: To the large fat smelly guys with lots of money who neglect your gorgeous, attentive, unappreciated girlfriends... YOU REALLY PISS ME OFF! I doubt this applies to anyone here, but it's nice to finally be able to get it out there.

Loyalwatcher wrote:The all-time best objection EVER, though, was a parental one. It came from a mother who had split up with the father of her son. Dad plus kid had visited the store, liked it, and decided it was something they could 'do together'.

"He used to just sit quietly in his room on his console. Now all he wants do to is show me what he's painted. He was so quiet before and now he wants to come to the store, or see his Dad, have his friends over to play games. YOU HAVE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON!"
- ...

So she wanted the kid to be quietly out of the way, rather than being enthusiastic about something he can take pride in?

I think the kid ended up with the wrong parent.

NB - The above is based purely on the evidence in the preceding post and the inferences I take from it.

Dysartes wrote:

Loyalwatcher wrote:The all-time best objection EVER, though, was a parental one. It came from a mother who had split up with the father of her son. Dad plus kid had visited the store, liked it, and decided it was something they could 'do together'.

"He used to just sit quietly in his room on his console. Now all he wants do to is show me what he's painted. He was so quiet before and now he wants to come to the store, or see his Dad, have his friends over to play games. YOU HAVE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SON!"
- ...

So she wanted the kid to be quietly out of the way, rather than being enthusiastic about something he can take pride in?

I think the kid ended up with the wrong parent.

NB - The above is based purely on the evidence in the preceding post and the inferences I take from it.

Yeah, that was my take too. That said, in any situation like that, there's always tons you don't know/understand and bystanders aren't in a position to make an informed judgement. *shrug*
EDIT: by 'you' I guess I should have typed 'one'.

filbert wrote:How does my spouse react to my gaming? With indifference and apathy, largely....

+1.

But then that is how I feel about most of the tv shows she watches, so I guess we are even...

While she might have said they were interesting, I'm pretty sure it was fake interest.

Now that I think about it, she was looking at an old terminator captain still NIB I had in my car. Made a passing scoff at it. I'll have to remember to take her out to the paintball field again to properly "explain" how to regard my war gaming hobby.

My boyfriend thinks that is is hilarious and that I'm the biggest nerd alive...

Such sweet irony, considering he's the best video game player that I've ever known.

Iranna.

Dislikes it immensely, borderline hate.

That being said, she doesn't really give me any issues about it, but I still know she dislikes it. She just can't believe how much it costs, which is her main gripe.

Man, most of you guys are really lucky. Mrs Sarpedons HATES it. She tolerates it because she loves me, i think that's why anyway....

Most of the time I'm a furtive painter. If I do any at all, it's secretly and I clean up afterwards... It's a little like watching naughty stuff online actually......

My ex was indifferent.

And since she's now my ex, her opinion doesn't really matter anymore.

My little sweet potato doesn't mind particularly my 40K addiction. Got into it when my boy was about 11 and they were demo'ing at the game store where he got his Pokemon cards. He got into it for awhile til he hit high school. I ended up running a weekly 40K game night at a local hobby shop. I get a fat discount, so cost isn't too much of an issue. She does refer to them as army dolls. A few years back she wanted me to paint up a Sisters army - "the space bitches" - for her. Did a couple of test troopers, but she wanted a more carnival paint job. That project faded and she brought it up once in the intervening 6 years. Usually I can disappear to the basement to paint when Dancing With The Stars comes on... She doesn't understand my battle reports, which is a bummer.

The gf doesnt luke the hobby, and thinks its childish and i should 'grow up and stop playing with little models'

But she tolerates it nonetheless, keeps me out of trouble

We got Assault on Black Reach as a wedding gift (I have awesome family members) and life has been great. Sadly, she is more into the hobby part of minis than the game part, but she's really into Pathfinder and RPGs in general so I guess that levels things out.

Oaka wrote:

So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

We do, rulers and dice don't make it anymore manly

My wife just thinks I'm weird. I still can't get her to understand that all the models are not the same. I hear "You already have a million army men".

Maybe I should use a spice rack reference...

I'd normally point her in the direction of the thread and let her respond when it comes up, as she posts here as Aurelia, but shes unlikely to get on Dakka for a week or two.

So long story short, met her at a RPG club, been gaming with her since 97, married since 2002, she pretty much plays all the same games I do including some console ones, and we both play wargames.

She has Dark Eldar, Haqqislam, a Beastman Mordheim band atm. She also waiting for new SoB, new Blood Bowl teams if it is released next year (as par rumours on Dakka) and we will be starting two new armies based on the 40K 6th box next year as well.

We also have three kiddies, of which the eldest two are now starting to get 40K stuff for the first time as well.

Oaka wrote:Alright, so I have been with my girlfriend for two years now, and she has pleasantly accepted my gaming. She actually got to witness a game for the first time just this month, when I was playing a campaign battle on a Sunday evening. She strolled out of bed at about 6 PM (she has narcolepsy and sleeps on and off all the time) and took a look at the board, and said,

"Why are you guys rolling dice and using tape measures?"

Me- "Because there are rules and measurements attributed to all the different models."

Her- "Oh, I thought you guys just set up and played war."

So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

Seriously?! She thought you did that, for two years, and stayed with you? Dude... This one's a keeper!

Morathi's Darkest Sin wrote:We also have three kiddies, of which the eldest two are now starting to get 40K stuff for the first time as well.

I've hear of introducing new people to the hobby but this goes above and beyond....!

On a more serious note, congratulations and happy xmas to all!

she refers to it as my 'geek stuff'. She has always known that I am into this sort of thing and although she is never happy if she loses out to a night geeking it up with the lads she does not mind most of the time. She likes to see the finished results when I have been painting though

I would never want her to get into it though, sharing and having common interests is great but you have to have your own things as well, this is mine, along with cooking, rugby, photography, computers, golf, kayaking, badminton. I am a bit of a hobby man!!

Depending on the game in question either disdain, annoyance or gleeful joy.

I talked about quitting the hobby and my spouse told me that if I sold my models, she'd tie me to the bed, cut open my stomach, bathe in my blood and perform a daemonic rite to bring the gods of chaos into our bedroom. Then things would REALLY start to get kinky

Also, no spouse-totally made up. But that would be the perfect woman, no?

When we moved in together I introduced my partner to 40K and she loved the idea of painting up an army so that we had a hobby to do together. She chose SOB which GW promptly cancelled after I spent a small fortune collecting the models for her.

I don't take her gaming anymore due to two kids in two years and the fact that she cheers my opposition in a gleefully malicious way.

In hindsight I think I should have bought her a chaos daemons army.

My wife refers to it as "dorking." She actually likes it a lot. She loves the models, and enjoys watching me paint. That is the only odd part.. I hate doing it, perhaps she secretly enjoys the my personal hatred of it, guess that comes with marriage.

She likes to hear me talk about fluff with gaming guys. In the past she's referred to the Emperor as "a punk who sounds like he tried to play god." She things Thrakka has "the best name for his model." And insists "for the prices GW should make models that not only make the suitable noises, but also fire plastic missiles." I think she's onto something there. She likes fantasy models better then 40k. She also things chaos demon princes are "the coolest." Lastly I can buy whatever I want that's Skaven "because the army is like real mice with a rat wheel."

She picks my colors schemes as i'm somewhat color blind from an eye injury as a teenager. She even goes as far as defending it to my non-tabletop gaming friends. We were at a friends wedding, where a friend was being a jackass. She rebuttled with "so let me get this straight, he's married, has a stable job, finds time to game AND keep me happy... your single, miserable, and your suit doesn't match.. whose the dork?" While I'll admit, it was a little harsh.. it was pretty darn funny to watch.

Happy, real happy. He got me into 40k but I do more gaming than he does (unless you count computer games but my PC just won't run most of 'em).

We met gaming so I guess he was never gonna have a problem with it.

My wife doesn't really care, though she knows how peacefull I get when modelling/painting, so she actually reminds me to do it from time to time.

We both have an "allowance" of money to sprnd on whatever we want after bills and rent is payed, and the months grovery money hidden away, and some saving... So money isn't a problem. Though she actually preffers me spending it on toys, as oposed to beet, cigarettes and pub nights.

Since our son was born 29th of september this year, we've had an inoficial deal that a couple of times each week, I eatch the kid for an hour and a half, so she can bathe, she does the same afterwards so I can paint/model.

She will pick things up for me at the gaming store if I ask her, though she loathes setting foot in there. I understand that, and only ask when I'm ill or too busy. Some of the people who hang out in our GW are downright creepy. And the MTG crowd at the LGS usually leaves me wanting to scrub myself in the bath for a couple of hours. Which is daying alot as I work at a shelter, for homeless, addicts and the mentally ill, and I'll usually settle with a shower after my shift there....

/Calle

My girlfriend says she's interested and wants to play 40k but freaks out any time I try to bring it up or say anything about it. I haven't played a game of it yet because I'm still putting together models and she wants me to tell her how to play because she won't read the book at all.
Of course by tell her how to play I mean play for her, I have given up since I don't know how to teach her a game I don't know how to play . She leaves me alone if I put them together or paint when she's not there and I can play all the Hordes I want again if she's not there.

Jag_Calle wrote:My wife doesn't really care, though she knows how peacefull I get when modelling/painting, so she actually reminds me to do it from time to time.

We both have an "allowance" of money to sprnd on whatever we want after bills and rent is payed, and the months grovery money hidden away, and some saving... So money isn't a problem. Though she actually preffers me spending it on toys, as oposed to beet, cigarettes and pub nights.

Since our son was born 29th of september this year, we've had an inoficial deal that a couple of times each week, I eatch the kid for an hour and a half, so she can bathe, she does the same afterwards so I can paint/model.

She will pick things up for me at the gaming store if I ask her, though she loathes setting foot in there. I understand that, and only ask when I'm ill or too busy. Some of the people who hang out in our GW are downright creepy. And the MTG crowd at the LGS usually leaves me wanting to scrub myself in the bath for a couple of hours. Which is daying alot as I work at a shelter, for homeless, addicts and the mentally ill, and I'll usually settle with a shower after my shift there....

/Calle

It does get easier to find the time to paint and model. I have a one year old and a two year old and most nights we can persuade them to go to bed around 7 O'Clock. Some nights however one or other of them will have better ideas.

Update: played a game of WM/H with the spouse this weekend. She loves the models, enjoys that I painted a battlegroup for her (but wants to paint her own!), and thought the rules were decent enough (was convinced Stealth was cheating).

She was so excited when she was winning (Khador vs. my Cryx), but got mad when she lost (kind of our relationship haha. Very competitive).

All in all, she thinks I'm nerdy, but she's glad I settled down to play with pretty little models rather than bar hopping.

No reaction because I don't have one.

My GF is very supportive - she doesn't play WH40k but she does play board games like Talisman or even Twilight Imperium. She likes to watch me paint and sometimes steals some minis to paint herself. Recently she helped me and my friend with building, detailing and painting a Warhound Titan. She complain about prices of things I buy for my hobby (GW ) but she even bought be an airbrush so I think that's just for sports. Anyway I keep her

My wife is ok with it, but I sense she may be building up for a "time to give up your hobby" battle line ... which I will counter with "time for a divorce, told you i was not going to give up my hobby you borderline cat lady" battle line...

its on.

njpc wrote:She picks my colors schemes as i'm somewhat color blind from an eye injury as a teenager. She even goes as far as defending it to my non-tabletop gaming friends. We were at a friends wedding, where a friend was being a jackass. She rebuttled with "so let me get this straight, he's married, has a stable job, finds time to game AND keep me happy... your single, miserable, and your suit doesn't match.. whose the dork?" While I'll admit, it was a little harsh.. it was pretty darn funny to watch.

Loyalwatcher wrote:

njpc wrote:She picks my colors schemes as i'm somewhat color blind from an eye injury as a teenager. She even goes as far as defending it to my non-tabletop gaming friends. We were at a friends wedding, where a friend was being a jackass. She rebuttled with "so let me get this straight, he's married, has a stable job, finds time to game AND keep me happy... your single, miserable, and your suit doesn't match.. whose the dork?" While I'll admit, it was a little harsh.. it was pretty darn funny to watch.

I've lost most of my faith in humanity, but every so often dakka spews forth a truth so profound that it restores a little bit of it. This my good fellow is one of them

I started 40k when we were dating. She prefers me having a hobby rather than going out to bars and such.

Last year for my birthday she bought me a stormlord and basically ran a black ops campaign to get it through a friend without me knowing.

She enjoys seeing my work when I paint and knows it makes me happy and tries to convinve me to get more of my friends involved so I will continue for a long time.

She does enjoy convincing the cat to attack the models. Sometimes I agree its entertaining to see a space marine carried off by a cat but at the same time I get annoyed because of the work I've put into them.

rogueeyes wrote:I started 40k when we were dating. She prefers me having a hobby rather than going out to bars and such.

She enjoys seeing my work when I paint and knows it makes me happy and tries to convinve me to get more of my friends involved so I will continue for a long time.

Other than when I started(way before I even met my wife), mine's exactly the same way. She even defended it when my parents(who think it should have been a teenage phase) tried to convince her to convince me to quit years ago.

I played D&D, BattleTech, etc. when we started dating in High School. She somehow thinks it's cute when I nerd-out. 16 years and 11 years of marriage later, she's still fine with me leaving the house for most of the day to do nerd-out.

She doesn't really seem to mind it. I think she wants me to play just so she can keep calling me a dork.

Then again I do joke with her about not making me choose since I've know GW longer...

My wife loves it, as I build and paint rather than play MMO's. When we have people over, she actually brings them to my office to show off my models which IMO is pretty cool! She won't play, and has watched me game before and just finds it too in depth for her to get into. It's nice to have her full support

My wife bought me $500 worth of 40k new necrons for xmas.... I in turn bought her 2 coach purses. It's a good thing I don't buy this much product on a regular basis.. She is interesead in wood elves so we may have to see if she wants to try assembling and painting some or even try using some of my armies to play a little bit.

Mrs Stompa owns about 2k of tyranids she is painting and putting together. (and given these are her first models, I'm astounded by how good they've turned out, I think she has a real talent!)

She is wary of the actual game, talking herself out of trying as 'too complicated' and I'm continuing to try and gently introduce her to the playing side of things. She really likes the fluff.



She don't like no space marines though...

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Mrs Stompa owns about 2k of tyranids she is painting and putting together. (and given these are her first models, I'm astounded by how good they've turned out, I think she has a real talent!)

She is wary of the actual game, talking herself out of trying as 'too complicated' and I'm continuing to try and gently introduce her to the playing side of things. She really likes the fluff.



She don't like no space marines though...

The longer I play the less I like space marines... I think that's because I am tired of saying a sea of space marines all the time.

Sonophos wrote:When we moved in together I introduced my partner to 40K and she loved the idea of painting up an army so that we had a hobby to do together. She chose SOB which GW promptly cancelled after I spent a small fortune collecting the models for her.

...GW still 'supports' SoB... Poorly, perhaps even 'half-hinder' but they do, technically, sell and support them. I mean, sure, it's kind of like when a parent forces a little kid to brush his teeth and the kid drags his feet then finally squirts three molecules of toothpaste on a brush and sticks it in his mouth once, but that counts, right? Right?

My girlfriend accepts it and doesn't mind it at all. She can see the artistic aspect of it, doesn't understand the game at all. Sorta like the OP, until she saw me packing my dice and measuring tape she thought it was more or less "playing war" but she knew there were some rules to it (since shes seen the rulebook) but didn't know how it worked, so I've explained it.

I think her dad has more interest than anything, every time he stops by to visit he always wants to see my cabinet that i keep my 3 armies in and asks whats new. He's always been big into models so its nice to be able to share.

she finds it amusing when i'm painting my plastic fantasy barabrian type things, then she goes on the PS3 and kills loads of barbarian type things.

Chicks think it's cool, until we move up to my room, and there's piles of GW boxes on the walls, a painting table that looks like it's been through a hellish monster's rampage, a nightmarish ensemble of lights, shelves full of boxes with spikes coming off of them and walls plastered with WD pictures

"Yeah, I paint models. Check em out. These are terminators, cool right?"

Haven't had too many long term girlfriends, but I can guess that I wouldn't pick them unless they understood how much the hobby means to me.

njpc wrote:

She picks my colors schemes as i'm somewhat color blind from an eye injury as a teenager. She even goes as far as defending it to my non-tabletop gaming friends. We were at a friends wedding, where a friend was being a jackass. She rebuttled with "so let me get this straight, he's married, has a stable job, finds time to game AND keep me happy... your single, miserable, and your suit doesn't match.. whose the dork?" While I'll admit, it was a little harsh.. it was pretty darn funny to watch.

I like this woman. She has spirit. You got a keeper there, boy.
Even my wife agrees.

I'd argue that my hobby keeps me out of bars - but we play in a licensed club with beer available, so that's not exactly accurate.
It does keep me out of the strip clubs, though.

My wife "hates" my playing 40k.. yet she is a big time nerd, and "revels" in her nerdiness quite often. I *really* started 40k after my second tour in Iraq, and the hobby side of it really helped with PTSD type symptoms, so she was "OK" with that (I also build scale models of ACTUAL things, recently completed an F4U-1/D Corsair and a Spitfire Mk. I)

When I got to Germany with her, we found out one of my buddies played 40k, but even better for her loved to run DnD games.. We had made a deal (mostly to get me to stop poking fun at her), that if I played a game of DnD with her, she would try A game of 40k. So far, I have held up my end of the bargain, and even paint all of our dnd minis for our games...But she refuses to play 40k still.

Ensis Ferrae wrote: So far, I have held up my end of the bargain, and even paint all of our dnd minis for our games...But she refuses to play 40k still.

Bad sign dude.

Ohh, its OK.. because I can still blackmail her on her lack of upholding her end of the bargain... She thinks that by watching some of my games, it is good enough to count.

Plus, it just gives me more excuses for buying minis, and painting a wider range of stuff up.

My wife seemed to generally tolerate and slightly support my playing 40K for a long time. Then last November she got *really* pissy about it and swore I was spending too much money on models (I worked 3 jobs at the time) . It seemed really strange as she is into all sorts of geeky things. hell, we met at a game release party.

Then Christmas rolls around and she hands me a small, light box all wrapped up with a card on top. I opened the card and it was a hand written letter that basically said she was extremely happy that I am in the hobby and thinks it's cool as hell. She went on to say that she would never, ever want me to stop taking part in a hobby I love. I opened the box and it contained a shiny new Forgeworld Black Templar Venerable Dred!


She actually played the uncool wife routine so that I wouldn't see it coming. Frankly, I was impressed.


*I think I'll keep her.......like forever*

Sweety has been very supportive of my hobby. She even helps me create and paint my terrain and terrain table skins. A wonderful, and kind woman and I am so lucky to have her.

My wife would tosh some gas on my all of my mini and throw a match without shreading a tear. That how much she hates any mini games. Plus she doesn't even buy me anything that relates to 40k or Warmachine on Christmas or my Bday.

Elindiel wrote:My wife seemed to generally tolerate and slightly support my playing 40K for a long time. Then last November she got *really* pissy about it and swore I was spending too much money on models (I worked 3 jobs at the time) . It seemed really strange as she is into all sorts of geeky things. hell, we met at a game release party.

Then Christmas rolls around and she hands me a small, light box all wrapped up with a card on top. I opened the card and it was a hand written letter that basically said she was extremely happy that I am in the hobby and thinks it's cool as hell. She went on to say that she would never, ever want me to stop taking part in a hobby I love. I opened the box and it contained a shiny new Forgeworld Black Templar Venerable Dred!


She actually played the uncool wife routine so that I wouldn't see it coming. Frankly, I was impressed.


*I think I'll keep her.......like forever*

That's a pretty awesome wife!

filbert wrote:How does my spouse react to my gaming? With indifference and apathy, largely....

Dito. However, my mistress is sometimes asking.

Mine complains that she can't get me gaming stuff as presents because when there's something I want/need I just go out and buy it.

She's also just built her first few models and tried her hand at painting as well but is convincing herself that the game will be too complicated.

My wife likes it and is enthusiastic. She has played games, and typically buys me forgeworld as gifts.

Plus, she combines it with her own geeky hobbies, she's cross-stitched chaos symbols for my display boards.

My wife is cool with the whole hobby thing. While deployed, she even went out and got the Throne of Chaos book for me, and mailed to Afghan.
Plus she thinks it's better than the strip club, and I've shown her it's cheaper than me going out drinking (I can drink a full army in a weekend).

When my girlfriend first saw my gaming stuff she was actually relieved that she didn't have to hide her marvel comic habit from me. Now she is lightly interested, having read her way through half my black library collection, always asks to see my latest painting work & loves looking at all the artwork in the books.

Women are a difficult thing when it comes to this stuff.
My girlfriend of two years changed her mind on how she felt
about it a good few times. at first she loved how creative i was it it made me look artistic. then as she came around more she grew to hate it cause i was spending alot of time with my group of friends to do it. Now she has accepted it and plays d and d with us now. feth YEH FOR HOT NERD GIRLS!

Sgnt Rosco wrote:Women are a difficult thing when it comes to this stuff......

I think that you are understating it mate, they're difficult when it comes to everything!

I knew mine would be okay when she puts up with my rugby activities I.e. going out at 11am on a Saturday and falling through the door at 3am with no clear idea of where I have been. If they tolerate that a few toy soldiers is nothing!

Mine is certainly an enabler. She'll buy me models on occasion and actually plays and enjoys Malifaux. My favorite part was her statement, upon telling her I needed another Battlefoam Bag: "Well, if it'll keep your gak more organized, order it. Order it now."

She will not, however, step foot inside an LGS on a Friday Night.

So ya I have to agree that in reality we basically are going "pew pew" (or "twang twang" for WHFB) with our little army men - there's just rules to our Pew Pewing.

My ex wife hated it. She thought it was immature and childish and even though I fully disclosed my hobby when I met her when I was 23, she said she thought I'd grow out of it. I'm 32 (31 when we were estranged) and now I make sure people know this is my hobby, it's what I do and compared to the other guys in my peer group in this region (Many of whom are drunks, rednecks who disappear for weeks during hunting season or just losers who still live with mommy) most girls I meet prefer the hobby to the alternative.

That said I did date a girl who, after a few months, started to lose her tolerance for the hobby (but I do paint a lot in front of the TV... idk...)

End result: I will not date a girl who was not at the very least accepting of my hobby if not interested in participating.

Some very interesting replies in this thread all around. I am also glad to see how many married military men play the game, as I had my suspicions it was quite a few. At the last tournament I was at, the guy who won first place looks like he could have bench-pressed all of the tables and terrain stacked together. That group helps to alleviate the pasty nerd image that tabletop wargamers seem to have.

Oaka wrote:Some very interesting replies in this thread all around. I am also glad to see how many married military men play the game, as I had my suspicions it was quite a few. At the last tournament I was at, the guy who won first place looks like he could have bench-pressed all of the tables and terrain stacked together. That group helps to alleviate the pasty nerd image that tabletop wargamers seem to have.

A ton of military guys in Ohio play for sure. Bookery in Fairborne (near Dayton) has a huge patron population from Wright Patterson AFB.

Interestingly, a lot of my wife's friends (anywhere from 22-30) typically agree that the hobby is a bit dorky, but are fascinated and impressed by the amount of detail put into something so small. Now, if only that were the case with all small things

My wife would tolerate as long as I kept within budget and we worked out before I paint (I dont play). She was a personal trainer and we met at the gym. Now with baby its generally the same rules, but less paint time. She doesnt really like the hobby but considers it better than playstation (which I dont own) or fantasy football (40k for sports fans). I dont know how she would take it if I ever played, doubt if I will ever have the time.

My girlfriend of 18 months was fine with it until i took her in to our local GW after which she was "scarred for life" from the nerdness. She is very accepting of it though.

That was your mistake.

My wife refuses to step inside the local GW.
It smells bad enough in winter. In summer, it is so much worse.
Also full of screeching children.

She's been into a couple of other games stores with me, and was fine with them. The owners of those stores had wives who had them put in seats and upgraded airconditioning, so that the WAGs could relax while their men frolicked amongst the mandollies.

She's okay with it, although she's not sure if some of my armies need to be so large.

Bit of an enabler really, 5 years ago she wanted a new sewing machine. I bought the $700 model she wanted, I got a new airbrush set up and about half of the SoBs I have.

4 years ago, she wanted a serger, another 7 bills, I ended up starting (and finishing)the White Scars army I always wanted...about triple the intended size too.

The missus has her own little hobbies, so she leaves me to mine. Better than some of the trouble I could be getting into.

My wife likes my "dolls". it keeps me out of strip clubs. GW is also a cheap hobby.

skkipper wrote:My wife likes my "dolls". it keeps me out of strip clubs. GW is also a cheap hobby.

I suppose comparatively cheap to some other hobbies, but I've never heard the hobby described as 'cheap.'

Talarn Blackshard wrote:My wife is ok with it, but I sense she may be building up for a "time to give up your hobby" battle line ... which I will counter with "time for a divorce, told you i was not going to give up my hobby you borderline cat lady" battle line...

its on.

Epic defensive position.

gunslingerpro wrote:

skkipper wrote:My wife likes my "dolls". it keeps me out of strip clubs. GW is also a cheap hobby.

I suppose comparatively cheap to some other hobbies, but I've never heard the hobby described as 'cheap.'

Certainly not cheap, though when you compare it to other "traditional male hobbies" like Golfing, Boating, Cigar Smoking or Gun Collecting, it's not so bad.

I always just tell her I can start drinking and smoking heavily; she's all about tiny plastic soldiers when I bring this up.

Haha right..

At first my fiancé's comment was 'you child', and just completely uncomprehending. However, having seen me painting and converting stuff she has since warmed to it somewhat, to the point now where she can understand its merits.

Mine went out and spent $500 on me when I stated I wanted to collect it. She had a game with me last night and generally watches me paint / model while playing the computer.

Got her to play a game yesterday, but she found it boring until she added alcohol.

It IS boring until you add alcohol.

Your SO is right in that regard.

Like so many other pasttimes. Like baseball (nobody would watch it if it wasn't for beer) - or cricket (shame you can only get light beer AT the venues, though).


Beer makes EVERYTHING better.

My wife "tolerates" it. She likes it when I go out on Saturdays to "geek out" at my local shop, giving her some "quiet time" without me there. She hates it when I dont pick up all my stuff from the desk. My boys, 5 and 3, on the other hand, love it. They like my (IG) "armors" and my tanks and jet. They dont really like to leave my stuff be.

My wife is ok with it. She calls the miniatures I paint "little dudes".

Oaka wrote:Alright, so I have been with my girlfriend for two years now, and she has pleasantly accepted my gaming. She actually got to witness a game for the first time just this month, when I was playing a campaign battle on a Sunday evening. She strolled out of bed at about 6 PM (she has narcolepsy and sleeps on and off all the time) and took a look at the board, and said,

"Why are you guys rolling dice and using tape measures?"

Me- "Because there are rules and measurements attributed to all the different models."

Her- "Oh, I thought you guys just set up and played war."

So... for the past two years, she thought all I did was set up army men and then make pew-pew noises at the other army men. And she apparently thought that groups of guys travel to conventions in far away cities specifically to play pew-pew army men against other guys.

Oh my God, that's hilarious!! Pew-pew sounds! Dude, you got it easy, my wife and I are divorcing because of my hobby. Long story short, she has a personality disorder that prevents her from being around other people except me, so she has no friends and can't cope with me being around others. This leads to HUGE fights and I'm the bad guy for having a fun hobby that I enjoy. Essentially, I am walking away after 23 years and plan to play 'til I'm dead. Folks, let my example be a beacon for all, if you have a girlfriend or wife that is understanding or God forbid, even plays the game count yourself as the luckiest guy on the planet cause some of us have spouses or girlfriends that aren't as understanding and make life difficult almost everyday. Communication is also the key, talk to each other about what she wants and what you want, get everything out in the open and hopefully they are understanding enough and don't let them change you 'cause you will only resent it and might even lead to my situation down the road because of the resentment. Be happy, include her in everything, and most of all TALK IT OVER. I just wish I could have taken my own advice years ago, but I can't change the past I just am looking forward to the future. Thanks for listening. PEACE!!

My wife showed no interest in wargaming what so ever untill i took her with me to pick up a order from my local games workshop store.
They started asking her the same questions they fire at any one new in store i.e "want a free painting lesson?" and "how about a quick game?".
To my shock she agreed and had a game and is now hooked!.

My wife has a small 1000pt Chaos Daemon Army and paints more than plays.
She's more of D&D girl. She GMs a game and plays in the one I run.
So, that said, I think she's good with it.
=)
Reading about all the GFs and wives who, "hate it", "Think it's childish", etc. really could use a little perspective.
Growing up where I did, the accepted behavior of a married adult male was drinking, drugs, whoring, and/or abusing of the spouse and children.
Alternately, It was drinking, laying on the "Lazy boy" and watching televised sports and ignoring the spouse and children.

In my opinion, they need to get a grip and accept that a man who plays with toys is probably one of the best kind of man one could have.

My wife has no problem at all with it - it keeps me out of trouble. She does call me a geek from time to time, just to let me know she's aware that it's not seen as a cool thing to do. But then I bring up her Farmville addiction and the Status Quo is resumed.

ColdSadHungry wrote:But then I bring up her Farmville addiction and the Status Quo is resumed.

Fighting fire with fire eh? I like it!

My right hand is totally cool with it. In fact, it painted all of my army!


Jokes aside, I've suffered quite a bit for not liking sports, booze and mechanical stuff. That I'm pretty much the typical example of an introvert, combined with the fact that all persons of the opposite sex that I talk with end up as friends (not that friends are bad, but...), doesn't exactly help boost my confidence...

I'm ranting and getting off-topic now, though. TL;DR: Woe is me!

My wife has no problem with my hobby. When I did play games I practically lived at my bud's hobby shop. When her friends would say something about it she would remark that "he's not in a bar or chasing hookers", that usually shuts them up. Now I'm starting to just build and she is as supportive as ever. Her involvement extends only to knowing what army I played and built. I've seen her argue with a shop clerk that what he was trying to sell her would not work in my collection 28mm is not the same as 1/35 scale and she knows the difference.

She's happy I'm not drinking/partying/hanging out with other girls

She basically can keep track of me

Recently my better half has been commenting that I do not game enough, even going so far as suggesting I buy more models.

I am not sure which of us that says more about.

"Honey, you need to get out more" is what I am hearing, but I am pretty sure "No worries; do what you like, and I know you enjoy this" is what was meant.

heh

kirsanth wrote:Recently my better half has been commenting that I do not game enough, even going so far as suggesting I buy more models.

I am not sure which of us that says more about.

"Honey, you need to get out more" is what I am hearing, but I am pretty sure "No worries; do what you like, and I know you enjoy this" is what was meant.

heh

Whenever I start to seem glum the Mistress says the same thing "Why don't you go up to area 51 for a while? I'll even drop you off if you just want to be there a while." Love that one

It was either mini wargaming or guns... fortunately she ended up being cool with both!

My wife is actually interested in the hobby. But in typical female fashion her approach sometimes borders on the incomprehensible. For example she refuses to play unless she can freely mix factions and ignore the FOC.

You can't use those slugga boyz with marines
Why not? They're friends.
Because . . . well the rules . . .
Boring. Its more fun if they're friends. Hurry up and setup.

She has a pretty good grasp of tactics, but our homebrew games would make most fluff bunnies (me included) cry tears of blood.

rabidaskal wrote:You can't use those slugga boyz with marines
Why not? They're friends.

Lol, that sir is adorable and priceless.

Piz wrote:

rabidaskal wrote:You can't use those slugga boyz with marines
Why not? They're friends.

Lol, that sir is adorable and priceless.

Agreed. But, having a gamer wife myself, I *think* she at least understands the concept of the various factions in 40k, but we'll find out somewhat soon.