Maybe a weird topic to start, but hell, I'm not a member of any other forums.
I honestly have no idea why, but over the past week or so I've become much easier to anger. I'm pretty easy-going, and definitely the type who, if irked by someone in public (most commonly, some loud fool in the library) will sit there too awkward to say anything about it and just silently endure it.
But lately I've been getting angry and *acting* on it. Really out of character for me. The only thing I can think of that's changed is that my PC is broken and I only have SWTOR to play rather than my usual vent that is shoot 'em ups
Either way I find myself getting short with people, easily irritated and generally having angrier thoughts than I am used to.
So, Dakka, does this ever happen to you? And what do you do to relieve that red hot rage that is simmering barely visible beneath your skins?
I'd love to have some useful advice for you, and you'd think that since I generate enough self-loathing to start helium fusion, I'd have some great methods for dealing with anger.
I just hit things (usually a wall) until I bleed and then tell myself what a big useless git I am for making myself bleed.
I'm nearly 21, I'd like to think I'm past all that, but hey...
Source of stress is my dissertation really, what with my research being insufficient and me not being able to do much work toward it (that is, I procrastinate)... I suppose that generates a fair amount of frustration but I never consciously link that to much.
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Nerivant wrote:I'd love to have some useful advice for you, and you'd think that since I generate enough self-loathing to start helium fusion, I'd have some great methods for dealing with anger.
I just hit things (usually a wall) until I bleed and then tell myself what a big useless git I am for making myself bleed.
What you've described is stress and frustration, not anger imo.
Cliched and potentially boring as it sounds, get out and get some real exercise going, work out your frustrations through physical activity, whatever you may enjoy.
Get rested - good night sleeps and regular sleep patterns.
In specific situations, at the libray or whatever, get up, take 10 mins and let the anger rush pass, dont act on it. I guarantee in 10 mins you'll look back and probably laugh at things. Perspective is totally key here.
The current feelings will pass. If they dont, go see a professional.
Step 1: Realize that you're having an emotional response.
Step 2: Ball up that emotion and shove it deep down.
Step 3: Drown the emotion with beer until it goes away. (If beer doesn't work, switch to whiskey.)
Other ways: I meditate on it. Not in the way you see spiritualist do. I am not new agey or religious or anything but I do understand the need for self reflection. Lots of times I take time to be by myself and reflect on what it is that is making me angry and why. I study it like you would an artifact until I have a complete understanding of what it is and why it affected me so. Then next time it comes up, I feel prepared to handle it.
Weed, mainly.
Having a woman helps, especially if she's a "struggler".
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mega_bassist wrote:Working out and weight lifting is a great vent for me.
Put on some Hatebreed/Pantera/Slayer/other metal and then pound some iron. Not only is it therapeutic, but it helps me stay in shape
Working out has the opposite effect on me. After a workout I feel like walking onto the street and punching the first person I see.
I don't, obviously, since I'm not a pyschopath. But still.
I dont usually get noticably angry at people, i do not raise my voice at them like ever. I just seeth for a while, often accompanied by dark mutterings.
I do have serious Road rage and Gamer Rage though, i dont have a mike for xbox live for just this reason. When driving the minorest inconvenience gets the horn or the finger or flashing full beams if it's night time. The Nanometre tailgate is another specialty. Often i combine all three in an overtaking manuevre with a florishing sharp brake after i pull in to make them gak their pants. I am basically a menace on the roads.
Also any form of technology that plays up in my hands gets destroyed. Literally Punched my previous laptop to pieces, luckily it was incredibly crap and was overdue for replacement.
So it's pretty obvious how i deal with rage, displacement.
But gaming is perhaps where I am worst. I am most definitely a 'rage-quitter', even if I've made a point of getting in a group to play with friends, I have bailed out of FPS', Civ games and all sorts... I think the introduction of kill-death ratios has meant that alt+f4 will be worn keys on my keyboard if I play FPS'
Disassociate it from myself, view it objectively, rationalise it, contain it, and focus it into something positive. That for the serious stuff. Little stuff I just rant to my girlfriend who makes sympathetic noises at me. That and short, control bursts of profanity.
Henners91 wrote:I'm very easily irritated on the roads too.
But gaming is perhaps where I am worst. I am most definitely a 'rage-quitter', even if I've made a point of getting in a group to play with friends, I have bailed out of FPS', Civ games and all sorts... I think the introduction of kill-death ratios has meant that alt+f4 will be worn keys on my keyboard if I play FPS'
Learn to play better. Maybe if you stuck around, and didn't throw a hissy fit like a little girl when you lost, you might get better at games.
Moderator note: The above is not an appropriate way to communicate with other Dakka members. -Mannahnin
Perkustin wrote:I do have serious Road rage and Gamer Rage though, i dont have a mike for xbox live for just this reason. When driving the minorest inconvenience gets the horn or the finger or flashing full beams if it's night time. The Nanometre tailgate is another specialty. Often i combine all three in an overtaking manuevre with a florishing sharp brake after i pull in to make them gak their pants. I am basically a menace on the roads.
You weren't driving near Mallaig this summer were you?
OT: There is a saying "Music calms the savage beast". I have found this to be true. If something annoys me I just plug in my iPod and forget about it until I'm calm. I'd suggest not listening to angry music though, that tends to make me seethe more.
I do the usual stuff, play games, work out, etc. Now my game time is limited because my mother showed my wife a study that shows games raise BP...
When I'm REALLY stressed, and I can afford it, I go shooting. Not blasting away. For finding your center two things are best.
Clay Shooting, or Precision Rifle.
I prefer Clays it's my one true love. There's no rush no urgency, 25 shots, 25 clays. Trap, Bunker Trap, or Skeet. They are all ultimately calming
AustonT wrote:I do the usual stuff, play games, work out, etc. Now my game time is limited because my mother showed my wife a study that shows games raise BP...
When I'm REALLY stressed, and I can afford it, I go shooting. Not blasting away. For finding your center two things are best.
Clay Shooting, or Precision Rifle.
I prefer Clays it's my one true love. There's no rush no urgency, 25 shots, 25 clays. Trap, Bunker Trap, or Skeet. They are all ultimately calming
Shooting guns really does help I find. Go fire an FN-FAL or a minimi and don't tell me you didn't have a little gak eating grin on your face after.
I also find booze and weed help but thats just me and I don't recomend it to anyone else, especially when you are firing guns. Guns and booze just doesn't mix, unless you are a redneck....or from Texas
I usually rip people apart in Call of Duty or something similar. Cursing their mothers and family to a fate worse then hell, then in about 20 mins I'm laughing at how ridiculous everything is.
Or I watch Family Guy, that always seem to put me in a light hearted frame of mind.
But yeah, training your body isen't all bad. I run 5km every other day, and when i started i quickly realised that my mood changed all to the better in a short amount of time.
It still smells horrible (my grandmother used to use it, and to this day, the scent of lavender and Patchouli makes me gag).
When I start to get angry, I "step back" and breathe, thinking to myself that getting angry won't solve the issue and in 10 years, no-one's going to care anyway.
I am like the blade of grass and anger is like the wind. Bend and flex with it, allow it to pass over and around you.
But I am old, and this stuff came with time. You are but barely out of your teens (some people, however, NEVER learn how to deal with it - like my brother. A self-destructive spiral usually results)
I used to just exercise to dissipate the energy.
First, I go into brooklyn, down near the water, and find a homeless man. I wear my best suit, and give off a kind attitude.
I promise him a future. I promise him money, and happiness. I pull out a suitcase with hundreds of fake hundred dollar bills, and I give it to him. And then I stab him. I stab him as many times as I can. I watch his eyes as the light goes out, and I make my escape. Not that I need to. No one cares if some poor old homeless man dies.
It doesn't help much. I'm still filled with rage. I have to keep killing to be truly happy. I've taken to killing prostitutes and clubbers. I even killed one of my co-workers. His family thinks he's in england, but truth is, he's rotting in a hole.
I bottle it up inside, allowing it to build up over time. It will then either dissipate over time, all my issues come out in a flood of tears, or I snap and end up assaulting someone.
Anger management did nothing for me. Currently, it's building up...
Samus_aran115 wrote:First, I go into brooklyn, down near the water, and find a homeless man. I wear my best suit, and give off a kind attitude.
I promise him a future. I promise him money, and happiness. I pull out a suitcase with hundreds of fake hundred dollar bills, and I give it to him. And then I stab him. I stab him as many times as I can. I watch his eyes as the light goes out, and I make my escape. Not that I need to. No one cares if some poor old homeless man dies.
It doesn't help much. I'm still filled with rage. I have to keep killing to be truly happy. I've taken to killing prostitutes and clubbers. I even killed one of my co-workers. His family thinks he's in england, but truth is, he's rotting in a hole.
Thumbs sup if you get the reference
Sorry bro, the movie reference went right over my head and under my feet but it was rather amusing to read =o]
Samus_aran115 wrote:First, I go into brooklyn, down near the water, and find a homeless man. I wear my best suit, and give off a kind attitude.
I promise him a future. I promise him money, and happiness. I pull out a suitcase with hundreds of fake hundred dollar bills, and I give it to him. And then I stab him. I stab him as many times as I can. I watch his eyes as the light goes out, and I make my escape. Not that I need to. No one cares if some poor old homeless man dies.
It doesn't help much. I'm still filled with rage. I have to keep killing to be truly happy. I've taken to killing prostitutes and clubbers. I even killed one of my co-workers. His family thinks he's in england, but truth is, he's rotting in a hole.
Thumbs sup if you get the reference
For me, if my computer is available I boot up an RTS, build as many silos as need be, then I nuke some poor country till the dirt itself glows at night.
I keep all my anger and rage pent up. So far i've got 21 good years of the stuff bubbling away ready to be used in one large outburst of extreme violance. Tbh im quite looking foward to it.
Snrub wrote:I keep all my anger and rage pent up. So far i've got 21 good years of the stuff bubbling away ready to be used in one large outburst of extreme violance. Tbh im quite looking foward to it.
It'll be useful if theres a zombie apocalypse. Hold it till December this year at least!
Weeeeeellllll..... I was saving it all up for the day some little scum sucker disrespects my daughter. (implying i one day have kids and ones a girl.) In which case i was gonna whup his arse good. Which, in turn, would be followed by a good old fashioned blue between me and the aformentioned scum suckers father. Where in i would throw a headbutt at scum suckers father. A headbutt so forceful i tear a hole in space and time and create the Eye of Chaos. Thus meaning that its not Cannerus who is Slaanesh, but me. But im not a devient sex god i am infact the true God of violence and war and im under cover waiting for the perfect moment to strike Khorne down from his skull throne and drown him in his own lake of blood. Which will allow me to take my rightful place as Master of the Universe.
I tend to do something that demands total concentration like the firing range or painting. Otherwise I will chase my girlfriend(s?)....Failing that, it's naptime.
I go online and bang on about how I boil with rage and lash out at people so that everyone around me trembles in fear at my merest hint of annoyance, when in reality I live a life of quiet desperation and tearful masturbation.
Albatross wrote:I go online and bang on about how I boil with rage and lash out at people so that everyone around me trembles in fear at my merest hint of annoyance, when in reality I live a life of quiet desperation and tearful masturbation.
Albatross wrote:I go online and bang on about how I boil with rage and lash out at people so that everyone around me trembles in fear at my merest hint of annoyance, when in reality I live a life of quiet desperation and tearful masturbation.
It's almost as though you're implying that some people put on an aggressive and churlish persona when they're on the internet to cover up a wide spectrum of insecurities and social inadequacies.
Albatross wrote:I go online and bang on about how I boil with rage and lash out at people so that everyone around me trembles in fear at my merest hint of annoyance, when in reality I live a life of quiet desperation and tearful masturbation.
It's almost as though you're implying that some people put on an aggressive and churlish persona when they're on the internet to cover up a wide spectrum of insecurities and social inadequacies.
People on the internet being aggressive and dumb because they hate their life? Never!
The Misconception: Venting your anger is an effective way to reduce stress and prevent lashing out at friends and family.
The Truth: Venting increases aggressive behavior over time.
You do realize the exercise I am referring to is taking a walk. And doing parkour which has 0 aggressiveness in it. (Believe it or not I rarely get angry, but I train anyway because it is fun.)
Though this may not be pointed at me though XD
I have ADHD, and at least for me, it is impossible to stay angry for more than a few minutes. I can't explain it, but my brain doesn't allow me to hold on to feelings for long at all.
@Henners91
1. Try meditation or other relaxation techniques. they really work. Just take a deep breath and try to remove yourself mentally from whatever attachment that you have that is leading you to get angered.
Two very real points i would like to make.
as a biologist i have seen some suggestions that there is evidence that men have a cycle. I mentioned this to my ex and she laughed at me and was like "DUH, you always fight at work in late winter. Your much quicker to anger .... etc. etc." So it is late winter, perhaps you are just responding to your yearly cycle.
Second point. Sudden changes in emotional character can be the result of physical changes like the above mentioned hormonal changes, only they can also indicate more serious issues. Brain tumors, and shifts in the biochemical make up of your brain can bring on very pronounced changes in behavior. If you continue to suffer from increased emotional duress you should probably see someone about it.
Likely it has more to do with your current situation than anything serious though. Relax more in your spare time, sleep in, take hot baths, watch comedy on tv etc.
I tend to force myself to calm down by controlling my breathing. Then later, I think about why I got anger, and think if there is any way to look at it that makes me less angry (like looking at it from the other person's point of view). If it's something I can understand, I let it go. If it's something that is still annoying me, I try to figure out a way to solve it. If it can't be solved, I sigh and accept it.
I don't like getting angry because it's a loss of control. Plus I have a pretty aggravating job so I need to be able to put it aside.
If you call it "Surprise sex" it's more socially acceptable.
I've always found 'surpise sex' to be much more fun when the 'volenteer' has no clue what is going on. But different strokes for different folkes and all that jazz.
If I'm really pissed, there is an all night MMA gym nearby that enables me to empty my anger onto whoever happens to be around. Nothing takes the anger away like a good fight.
Seriously. I always tell people the first time I watched the news in Europe was like a revelation. Being reminded that TV news doesn't have to be deliberately engineered to anger and excite.
It depends on weather it is an individual or an organisation.
If it's an individual I usually just walk away and depending on how much I like them I may or may not forgive them.
If it is an organisation I load up old USB flash drives with as many viruses as I can get on them and leave them around the car park of their head office. Hey presto revenge.
Wait, I have Narco//////////////////////////////////////////////
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Sorry, my head hit the keybpard there for a moment.
Easy E wrote:Wait, I have Narco//////////////////////////////////////////////
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Sorry, my head hit the keybpard there for a moment.
I said don't get stressed about it.
I don't want you to get into a logical loop like sleeping beauty.
Like any emotion you should address it appropriately and express it. Cartharsis is about releasing tension, not adding to it. If you act in a manner that adds to it you're not releasing or cooling off. In that link it made no sense why you would have the participants continue from the 'carthartic' activity to the punishment of their source of anger. That to me is just stoking the emotion until they 'vent' at the source.
Anger is caused by confusion.
It is the conflict of expectation and actuality.
If you expect nothing but bad things to happen then you will never get angry and all your surprises will be good ones.
Over estimate your bills; Do all your deals with the presumption you are being ripped off; and always remember that the guy in the car beside you will cut you up.
This is the essence of Seneca, Pessimism IS the route to happiness.
I would add my personal philosophy is hope for the best; plan for the worst and live for today.
I've been having the same problem recently, and I seriously belive that it's that jan/feb grey weather: being unable to get out and excersise, constant colds, the post-exam feeling of "Oh, it keeps going :/ ", it can get depressing which can lead to anger, to the point of fury, where you can't stand the sight of your nearest friends and family...
Sorry, end rant, but hopefully when the sun comes out again you'll feel better, good luck bro.