The first action.
This is a novel in the Warhammer 40.000 setting (which is a work in process so if you like it, but don't wanna comment you are more than welcome to view it, though I would like some feedback) I concocted about the early life of the two of the three Commissars I'm writing about. It will take on the background of Carrus and Ionza and shows a bit of the motivation and drive for Harken who are the mentor and superior of the aforementioned Commissars. It follows the couple from their graduation to when they land at Tanibus Alpha and has to war against the insidious and brutal Dark Eldar.

Chapter I

Dismounting from the Valkyrie in a ball of smoke the two Commissar-cadets Zachary Carrus a man of a little under 1.8 meter tall, athletic build, blue eyes, rather long dark blonde hair, dressed in a blackish Commissar-uniform with black carapace protecting everything important like the torso, arms and legs and Michelle Ionza about 1.67 meter tall, long brown hair to the middle of the back, athletic, quite attractive, dressed in a similar blackish Commissar-uniform as Carrus, but with less armour as she weren't strong enough to wear carapace and still fight efficiently. As weapons Carrus carried his trusty meltagun, laspistol and his family heirloom the power sword Bringer of Insanity. Ionza carried the longlas she had been practicing with for the last three years, a bolt pistol, a laspistol and her power sword.

Both the cadets were 19 with the squad of Storm Trooper-cadets about 16-17 dressed up in badly fitting green Storm-Trooper garbs with beads incorporated into their helmets quickly hit the ground, while rapidly taking cover while setting up firing-lanes. Other squads dismounted nearby. Carrus was immediately on the move helping the inexperienced cadets in taking cover, the Drill Abbot Brother Thoray, a tall lanky fellow with a balding head, brown eyes and goatee, dressed in the same ill-fitting Storm-Trooper-garb dismounted from another Valkyrie ordering his men to take cover. While he headed right for Carrus.

"That's a nice place for cover, right Commissar?" Thoray pointed at a bush.

"Yes, but-" Carrus was stopped mid-sentence .

"Excellent." Thoray jumped into the bush while Carrus just dove for cover. *KABOOOM!!!* Bloody chunks of Thoray rained over the place as he triggered the melta-trap Carrus had placed there earlier that week at the previous patrol.

"Emperor, what an idiot!" Carrus snarled as he picked himself up, he knew their ambush had been foiled. The feral cannibals would be at them. Not a long distance ago Ionza snickered wearing her perpetual smile, which tended to unnerve anyone but Carrus.

Worse the nutty Priest-cadet Jaan Vorlen (19) a personal rival of Carrus, quite tall, black hair, fair complexion, brown eyes, quite a lot of scars (Carrus don't like rivals, they are hospitalized), dressed in a brown robe while handling an Eviscerator started to chant. Both Carrus and Ionza had warned Vorlen about that behavior before this patrol. Both the Commissars were inching their way towards him. Ionza got there first, coldly drawing her bolt pistol. With a blast the head of the young, nutty though promising Eccleserian were split open as Ionza executed him for incompetence on the battlefield. Ionza span around, her cold brown eyes ran right at the soft, blue, peering eyes of Carrus. They swiftly exchanged smiles.

"Well, the ambush is foiled. We are to head north-northeast double-quick." Carrus told with a clear voice. He was worried. The worst of the Storm Trooper cadets were with him. He and and Ionza would clearly survive alone, as she was a deathworlder while he had extensive training in the jungle by his deathworld friends in these jungles, and not to mention his practical knowledge that was built up over the last three years warring there, often against Feral Orks as well.

The Storm-Troopers with them were nobles. Bribed into the Schola Progenium, not unlike how he himself were recruited (though the recommendation from Commissar-General Nathan Harken really flipped the scale). In opposition to Carrus they lacked every essential skill to survive here, as the jungles of Freudakia were ripe with not just feral cannibals, but also poisonous cats and the dreaded Shadow-Tiger which Carrus had fashioned his cape out of, after killing and skinning one two years ago, Ionza of course carried a very similar cape.

Carrus and Ionza sat a good pace as they heard explosions from behind them, the feral cannibals were closing in fast.

"No d-dont go-" Carrus was interrupted as five of the teenagers ran in a tight formation into another booby-trap. A loud boom later and the 30 Storm-Troopers were down by seven more.

"Emperor, you guys are morons." Carrus recovered with a quick grunt as he stated that after jumping behind a rock.

"AIIIIIIIEK, THE PAIN IT'S-" *Tchock* Carrus pulled out his laspistol giving the legless student the Emperor's peace.

"Michelle take the rest and try to convince them to not die." Getting up and looking agitated Carrus spoke again.

"And please try to listen if me or Ionza are telling you something, as me, her and people that know what they are doing actually have booby-trapped and mined the area."

"Sir. Enemy contact!!!" A Storm-Trooper-cadet yelled and started firing at moving shades at the treeline. He was joined with three more who enthusiastically and badly took positions and started to fire their lasguns at persons they couldn't see.

"CEASE FIRE IMMEDIATELY, ORDER BELAYED" Ionza roared with her shrieking voice which rang in people's ears, though normally it was mellow and pleasant to hear. Using her the sight on her longlas she scanned the woods looking for enemies.

"We must always ascertain enemy contact." Both the Commissar-cadets looked irritated.

"You three, search-party." Ionza pointed angrily at them, Carrus already veered at a course where he easily could give supporting fire, drawing with him about 10 of the Storm-Trooper-cadet.

"Me and Carrus will keep you covered." Ionza looked like she wanted to kill them, which weren't unusual as she was known as a particular draconian Commissar-cadet. As she slinked off, while ten more or so followed roughly in her path.

The budding Storm-Troopers incompetently tried to give each other cover while arching forward, while Carrus and Ionza stealthily followed.

"Glarrgh!!" the Roamers rushed forwards towards the teenagers while both the Commissar-cadets scoring effective kills quickly with meltagun and bolt pistol. As they were too close for Ionza to effectively use her longlas The meltablasts quickly turned three into sludge, while the precise bolt pistol brought down four more in a messy torrid of blood and guts. The lasgun-fire from the Storm-Trooper-cadets on the other hand were less than accurate, but it pinned down the feral cannibals for Carrus and Ionza to finish off.

Unfortunately the three cadets forgot about the two Commissars they couldn't see, and fear overcame them as they saw the savage cannibals all mutilated, knives sticking out of everywhere, growling showing off their knife-sharp teeth. Worse they dressed themselves in the flayed skin of their slain opponents. They fled. One of them ran past Ionza who promptly killed him with her bolter splitting the body in half. The other two ran into Carrus who bodyslammed them so they fell to the floor of the jungle writhing in pain.

"You did right in falling back, wrong in routing Uriel and Derek. Repeat it and die." Carrus told them with a flat voice totally devoid of feelings as he killed two more cannibals with laspistol leaving just a cauterized wound at the throat of the vile creature and meltagun melting down the second cannibal possibly a female as he placed himself right behind the two frightened teenagers.

"Up now and fight for the Emperor and thyselves." The two boys slowly rose to their feet shivering, they knew Carrus were lenient unlike Ionza who would have drawn her power sword and sliced both apart, but he like every Commissar never suffered fools lightly. So they started to fire at the enclosing cannibals, getting courage from their effective lasguns actually scoring kills while they tried to remain calm with Carrus and Ionza slowly organizing the battle-line into a kind of half-moon to deflect the head-on charge of the Roamers.

Problem was that the lasguns and armour the Storm-Trooper cadets were of low quality. The lasguns had little stopping-power. Even direct hits to the head of the rushing cannibals sometimes just left a scar. Also, they rapidly expanded their ammunition as only Carrus and Ionza carried spare ammunition. Three more of them lost their nerve. All where about to be cut down by Ionza who drew her power sword.

"I don't think so dear, we might need them." Carrus said softly while grabbing her wrist. With his free hand he hefted the meltagun with pistol-grip aiming it straight at the troopers who had just tried to flee. Then he raised his voice to such a level everyone heard it

"The next to try to retreat without orders WILL have their legs severed so the rest of us can withdraw and he WILL be raped, eaten and killed." Ionza hesitated a second then she simply said. 'Order seconded.' She shrugged visibly as Carrus drew his own jet-black power sword with the characteristic guard forged out of a skull made of adamnite, the progenia at the Schola called it the Bringer of Insanity due to it radiated a fear which normal humans shouldn't wield yet that irresponsible young man often had it in his hand wielding his family heirloom with a skill only talent and the training of a master could do. The troopers fought harder, but despite the cannibals suffering grievous wounds they arched closer into the range of close-combat.

Carrus and Ionza swiftly entered close-combat as two of the three cadets they were putting the Emperor's fear into died screaming as a feral cannibal slid his knifed hands under their armour gutting them. With their bellies sliced open and guts danging freely with the knifed hands deep inside of them, they shrieked in fear and pain, slowly dying as Carrus beheaded the cannibal responsible which head flew off in a torrent of blood.

"You shall die!!!! YOU SHALL ALL DIE!!!" Ionza shouted while eviscerating two while a third died in a torrent of blood as her bolter snapped and tore a body into gory pieces.

"YEAARGH!!!" The last trooper charged in, bayonet mounted. His inexperience was his doom as the nearby cannibal took out his legs, the good thing was that his bloody and painful death was quick. Carrus killed the cannibal doing that at range with his trusty melta turning it into a mix of metallic and organic goo. Three more rapidly followed as Carrus sprang into action with his sword leaving the field around him slippery with the blood, guts and brainmatter as he methodically with precise strikes quickly began to slay opponents left an right in his brutal style of fencing which included his meltagun as much as his sword during strikes. Another cannibal was killed by Carrus caving in it's face with the meltagun as it tried to assault him from above.

Carrus and Ionza were close-combat-specialists, so they managed greatly despite their young age, but both had been able to stand up to all but the very best fighters of the Schola since they were 15-16. By now as senior cadets they were regarded hands down as the finest save for some of the of the most senior staff. The other troopers fared far worse. During the four years there the 30 boys had been some of the worst recruits the Schola Progenium had ever had. And it didn't help that their parents got Thoray, a man who had never shot a gun in anger, never mind much at all installed as their Drill Abbot. He taught them badly. The drilling the pair did of them the last week before they went in improved somewhat the meager combat-skills of those youths, but both cadets wanted to flush them out while complaining loudly to the principal about their lack of talent. Thoray were under pressure from the parents of those kids to bring home some honors of battle. Of course Thoray just got the two finest and most combat-experienced Commissar-cadets plus a quite good Priest except for at war as that Priest was a good friend and drinking-buddy of Thoray to help them out. It didn't work very well, but that was actually Carrus' fault as he believed a frequent patrol-route where they countless times had gotten Storm Troopers cheap combat-experience in the past years would work wonders for them. He didn't know of the size of the Roamer-clan in the region, which had just taken out the much smaller clan Carrus was used in fighting.

The Storm-Trooper Cadets: Herri Clinton, Thierri Merc, Gav Nerva and Kaldor Flinch were the only ones at least Carrus didn't mean were better off dead as they at least got mild praise from him during their drills at occasion. Ionza thought they all were hopeless and even executed a member of the Royal Storm Troopers (which that gang were called) when he managed to discharge a lasgun at his foot when they first were inspected by both cadets.

At the flank where the Storm Troopers were holding alone Clinton, Merc, Nerva and Flinch where doing their best. They fired time and time again with their underpowered lasguns often only leaving scorchmarks. Worse nobody were there to give them any advice, as the Commissars were over at the other flank. Jack Pomona one of their number decided to stupidly charge the enemy. It didn't help that he moronically charged right into the firing-lane of Merc.

"Holy crap, Jack-- I-I" Merc looked perplexed, he shivered.

"Thierri regain you composure. I don't wanna be devoured while I'm raped, and neither do you!" Flinch answered angrily while slowly learning the phases of his lasgun. Firing it into the chest of a Roamer leaving a neat cauterized hole there.

He then called: "Fall back, but remain organized." The teenagers slowly began to let their flank slide slowly.

"W-what a-about C-Carrus? His order-" A glance from Flinch cut the cadet's word short.

"I will answer to him if we survive. The retreat is ordered." Flinch didn't exactly look forward to answer to Carrus for cowardice as he remembered the harsh floggings Carrus had issued for the slightest breach of conduct, even through Thoray usually intervened.

It was too little too late, as they started to turn back three of their number along with Nerva were caught by the Roamers in close-combat. Nerva managed to strike out and kill one with his ornate sword, but they all were promptly devoured alive while screaming in pain.

Herri Clinton tried to lob off a grenade as he and two more were caught in a ditch by the Roamers, but a lucky arrow pierced his throwing arm, so he and the two other cadets lived their last moment in extreme agony.

Everyone including the two Commissars fell back. Both Carrus and Ionza knew they couldn't go on forever, and the last five Storm-Trooper-cadets they saw were messily killed by Heavy Bolter-fire. So they both withdrew as they had no plans to die that day.

Merc (a tall, wiry, olive complexion almost 10 cms taller than Carrus, brown a bit bulging eyes, black short well-groomed hair, actually quite handsome) and Flinch (same height as Merc, fair-skinned, dark blonde hair, more bulky, green eyes pock-marked face full of scars from a nest of Freudakian bees that almost killed him when he was a small boy) by the Emperor's miracle ran into the couple several kilometers away from where they fought the Roamers, the forest were less dense more open. It was obvious that the clearing was a rendezvous-point. Both the Commissars were smoking Ciralixian lho-rods. They were rested, looking relaxed, not that they five hours earlier had fought a foe out to violate them at every opportunity. Merc were shivering visibly, sobbing and tears ran freely down his cheeks. That quickly got the attention of Ionza.

"Battle-stress?" Her merciless brown eyes peered deep into the man's soul. Her voice was so soft and melodic, it was almost singing.

"Ehm he-he shot his best mate by accident." Flinch flinched with abject fear as Carrus stared into his soul. He sweated and felt really uncomfortable.

"Is that so?" Carrus made his voice needlessly sweet. Flinch merely nodded, the devilish smile of Carrus with the ignited lho-rod burned itself into the mind of Flinch.

"P-please d-don't *SOB* kill me." Merc squirmed under her gaze as he wet himself in abject terror of her.

"Concentrate soldier, a soldier having a psychic break are worse than none." Merc's body tightened as he heard the hammer at her bolt pistol get cocked. He shivered uncontrollably. When he opened his eyes it got far worse. Flinch shook with fear as he saw first Ionza who were fearful enough taking aim and threatening to shoot Merc, but now Carrus were lifting up his meltagun as well, taking careful aim.

"Girly is right. Concentrate. BEAT IT!" Pointed right at one eye were the bolt pistol of Ionza, at the other were Carrus hefting his meltagun. Merc saw the evil grins with ignited lho-rods of both Commissars. Telling him in his soothing voice to beat his last experience, where he shot his best friend by accident in the back of his head. Merc managed to beat it, stopped shivering and managed to meet the glances of the two Commissars without having a mental meltdown.

Swallowing heavily. Merc said: 'O-okay I-I s-shall beat this, I-I have little less to lose.' Carrus relented his aim lowering the meltagun. Ionza still kept her aim, while she said: 'And?' Merc looked confused back at the merciless girl. Carrus lowered her arm saying. 'Relax girly, we have survived, and Nate awaits our report.' Ionza merely nodded. Both of them had wicked grins running across their faces.

"Want a rod?" Carrus extended two lho-rods in his hand. He smirked, same with Ionza.
Both Flinch and Merc shiveringly accepted Carrus' two extended lho-rods, letting him ignite them with his laschisel.

"Congrats" Carrus grinned.
"You have both managed to survive your first battle, tomorrow your school really begins as you will then be full members of this proud Schola, not just the toy-soldiers who went into the jungle." Carrus exclaimed with pleasure.

"Excuse me, lady." Flinch shifted nervously, looking at Ionza.

"Speak your mind soldier." The coldness of Ionza's voice and attitude were clear for all to see and hear.

Flinch swallowed heavily. "I-I t-think there are other survivors left behind." He shrugged fearfully under the glare of Carrus who simply blew smoke in his face, as he went up to stand right in front of him.

"Is Nerva or Clinton alive?" Flinch shivered a bit under Carrus' gaze.

"N-no s-sir, b-but-" Carrus cut him off.

"No buts, the rest were a disgrace to this Schola."

Ionza cut in. "They are better off dead, so never talk about them again, unless you want to die." She gave them a grim look. Then Merc and Flinch froze in terror

The Valkyries landed. Ionza gestured that Flinch and Merc were to enter the one farthest away, as they unlikely wanted a ride with both her, Carrus and Harken as the massive frame of Harken were standing in the doorway of the nearest Valkyrie. He was smoking a lho-rod, this was not of the Ciralixian stock Ionza and Carrus preferred, but from Hymeria, the home-planet of Harken. A death world. Harken's harsh steel-blue eyes met the glare of both Carrus and Ionza. Carrus held the glare for a while, while Ionza quickly looked away.

Ionza thought about how unsimilar, yet alike the two men were. Harken had a massively muscled body where Carrus were more built for speed and agility, Harken was well over 2 meter tall a full head taller than Carrus. Harken's broad and scarred features greatly contrasted Carrus' more delicate and quite unscarred face. The bronzed skin of Harken were the greatest contrast, as Carrus had a paler skin-tone. Carrus wore much armour, Harken never wore any, his muscles were very visible through the colorful uniform, in battle he tended to wear a more practical one akin to the uniforms Carrus and Ionza were wearing now, though only rarely could Carrus get him to wear something protective aside from the Rosariuses all three of them carried around their necks. Yet their similarities were there, the smiles were the same, The facial expressions of both men were much the same. Their eyes, though Harken's were steely were Carrus had a deeper hue, they still had the same merciless look. Their fighting styles were similar, brutal, both relied much on strength and agility when fighting and fought as dirty as possible no matter what.

"Michelle!" The harsh voice of Harken snapped through the air, like the sound of her favorite whip when she whipped cadets for missing targets at the firing-range, or for other mundane stuff like not knotting the shoes right, open uniforms and such. She rapidly snapped out of her line thoughts.

"Michelle, give those two-" Carrus interrupted Harken.

"They have names now boss." Harken looked angrily at the unflinching Carrus, which eyes peered right back at Harken.

"The names are Kaldor Flinch and Thierri Merc, now they are soldiers by my decree." Harken's response were a broad smile, Carrus as always was every bit as audacious and unflinching as he has taught him to be.

"Yes, Michelle and Carrus give Flinch and Merc a bottle each of the finest Freudakian wine." With a grace unbecoming of such a large man he handed them each a bottle of fine Freudakian wine.

Almost as one Carrus and Ionza yelled: "Catch!!!" The bottles quickly and precisely were airborne, and both the budding Storm-Troopers struggled with catching the bottles.

"Ehm thank you, sirs....lady." Flinch answered hardly shivering at all, which Carrus granted him a nod and a smile of grace with. Both Merc and Flinch quickly entered their own Valkyrie. As Carrus smilingly knew Flinch would be a good soldier, he could lead and was brave for a sixteen year old.

Harken stepped aside, and his two proteges jumped inside just as the Valkyrie took off. The ramp quickly closed as all three calmly sat down at the uncomfortable metal-seats within the Valkyrie. Harken calmly handed his two favorites a bottle of Freudakian wine each. Then he ignited a lho-rod with his las-chisel. He watched Carrus remove his armoured gloves and softly stroke through Ionza's long hair. She smiled back while snickering. They were two of the deadliest fighters at the Schola Freudakia.

Harken remembered full and well how he had recruited Carrus for killing a Genestealer rushing him when he was ten with only a laspistol to defend himself, three accurate shots later it died, all three were accurate hitting it's head with enough power for each to be deadly. Of course it helped that that old woman of the Sisters Frateris Joanna taught Carrus the basics. Harken had only to polish the teenager into the fine warrior he now were.

Ionza were recruited for coldly shooting an Ork Warboss he himself almost died fighting a year later. It also helped that she was an orphan, because unlike Carrus she didn't have to be bribed in. Ionza were initially placed in the Sororita-program, she didn't fit in. Too primitive beliefs to be a good Sororita, the Emperor like him and Carrus as well believed now was a scary god, not one you ran to and prayed needlessly to when you shouldn't, that only would bring down his vengeance upon you.

As for Carrus, there couldn't been a worse Storm-Trooper. Carrus was brave, but he questioned orders, he was a leader, not a follower. Harken had almost beaten the Drill-Abbot ordering that recommendation to death. That man was only saved due to the Enginseer Lucius telling him about Carrus' aptitude with meltaguns, then Harken joined the staff as the headmaster of the Commissar-cadets, with the permission of Head-Missionary James Natrax an old associate of his.

Ionza spoke first. "I assume you want our battle-report, boss?" Harken merely nodded as she took a good sip of the bottle. She continued. "First the moron Thoray committed suicide due to stupidity, then I executed that total jackass Vorlen who started chanting: The Emperor will help us! The Emperor will save us! Loudly. A bolter-shell to his brain provided what he needed, lobotomy and death."

Carrus snickered as Ionza gave her report, she also had trouble being serious. "Then we lost eight more to another trap of Carrus due to them being frakking idiots." Harken laughed harshly, this was hilarious to listen to.

Carrus now spoke. "Then we made contact with the Roamers. No less than six of the Emperor-cursed gretchins we led tried to flee. Michelle executed one of them, I rallied the five other, despite stopping Ionza in-"

Harken interrupted. "You are a fine cadet Carrus, but Ionza has seniority over you due to-"

Ionza interrupted Harken. "Boss if I may, our styles mesh well. He takes some edge out of my style, and keeps me from making mistakes. I bring some much needed hardness to his style, so Carrus is of equal rank as me no matter your orders and personal feelings Nate. He is so alike you, and you hate that, in your mind-"

Harken cut her off despite feeling uncomfortable under her gaze, he also knew her was right. She was easier to mold, less stubborn than Carrus. 'Yes, yes I know me and Carrus is well alike, sorry, I-I just think you are more mat-'

Master and students exchanged looks. Ionza continued. "Carrus rallied the troops. The first two who tried to flee he bodyslammed, then he inched over to my position. Three of them were fleeing towards me. Carrus stopped me in killing them, but it was for naught. They died screaming while the Roamers cut them open moments later." She shrugged and blew deeply of her lho-rod making a smoke-ring.

Harken then eying both spoke. "Flinch and Merc, tell me Carrus."

"Merc has a certain mercurial side, not much of a frontline soldier, but I think the Imperial Navy might be a good fit, and Flinch, well three months with me and his nick-name will be Never Flinch Flinch. He can be conditioned to be absolutely fearless, fine at a trench, fine in a comfortable war-room." Carrus stretched as he spoke. He looked as smug as usual holding a lit lho-rod in one hand, in the other he held a fine bottle of wine which he unceremoniously drank of.

Harken spoke. "Agreed, I will see-"

Carrus interrupted Harken, putting one finger to his lips he hissed: "Shh!" Then he got up, shambled a bit before he reached the Vox-caster onboard the Valkyrie, he started dialing his personal code, then the code for the Schola Freudakia. *dit-dit-dat-dit-dat-dit-dit* A harsh mechanical voice almost screamed. 'Access-code accepted, speak your mind Cadet-Commissar Zachary Carrus.'

Visibly shrugging when hearing his first-name, Carrus followed up with a slurry voice if a person listened carefully. "Cadet-Commissar Zachary Carrus here, I request psychiatric assistance for the cargo of Valkyrie K-1341X9, name Thierri Merc class D Storm-Trooper cadet. Cadet-Commissar Zachary Carrus over and out."

The metallic voice answered. "Order accepted, medical staff will be waiting for Thierri Merc, Schola Freudakia over and out."

"I just don't want the nervous Merc to off himself, rough day boss, killed his best mate by accident. Delicate mind, you know boss, we just don't want another Rienne." Carrus smiled smugly before deftly jumping back to his seat before sipping more of the fine wine. "I shall cut to the chase. You didn't fly all the way out here to hear our report about this action with the most horrid students this fine Schola have ever had boss. Was it something urgent you would have visited us at the Hole in the Wall (their room(s) Carrus blew the hole when he and Ionza started dating, was never punished for that damage on Schola-property). No Nate you are here for pressing business." His eyes gazed straight at Harken's.

"Yes my young protege. You always speak you mind, even when you shouldn't." Harken thought about how annoying Carrus could be with his frankness, he still wore the scars from when he and Carrus fought at the Hole in The Wall a year ago, after Carrus bluntly told him many women likely would lead to Slaanesh. It wasn't the lad's fault, he didn't know that Slaanesh-worshipers one hundred years earlier had slit his throat, and let his three kids and wife be possessed by demons while he watched. Carrus was almost killed, only Ionza shooting off Harken's hand with a bolt pistol stopped that fight, the wat-grown left hand of Harken had just been implanted. If he removed his leather-glove he could see it being a tad different in skin-color than the rest of his body due to the recent implantation. Harken continued. "It's time for you to graduate my young cadets, I have got us all assigned to the Freudakian 81st. Shadow-Tigers, we are in fact on the way there now."

Carrus rapidly snapped. "I still think I have duties to learn Flinch and Merc certain things-"

"Yes my hot-blooded young protege, I will grant you the three months, Ionza will help you out with Flinch and Merc. But that's your last duties as Drill-Abbots of this honorable Schola Progenium." Harken interrupted Carrus then he reached into his jacket-pocket proceeding drag out two scarlet sashes. "You are not cadets anymore Zachary Carrus and Michelle Ionza, now you are full Commissars on my decree, the decree of Commissar-General Nathan Harken." Harken smiled as he watched the surprised faces of his students.

Both Ionza and Carrus sat in stunned silence. They knew they had both been fine students of the Schola Freudakia, but neither thought they would graduate two years before their time. Especially not Carrus who basically was king fratboy which Harken countless times had admonished him about. His relationship with Ionza kept him grounded enough to mature into the excellent cadet he was slowly becoming.

Ionza finally spoke. "Excuse me master, but ain't the Freudakian 81st. some of the very elite I have heard the legends of the things they can do, I know me and Carrus are good troopers, but are we that good? What about the test? It's rumored that we have to kill daemons or worse." She looked worried at Harken.

Harken smugly smiled back and stretched while groaning. "Relax Michelle, you will both pass the test. Truth be told, you have already passed. Colonel James Stremm himself has requested us to be attached to the regiment as they are very elite, but also lacks Commissars to set limits for them." Harken comfortably made a smoke-ring before continuing. "The scouts you briefly tracked Carrus after destroying that Roamer-camp, no mean feat actually was the judges of if you should qualify or not. You passed with flying colors Carrus."

"As for you Michelle, the sniper-training you have done over the last three years have been very effective. Drill-Abbess Gabrielle McLandi, your trainer have told me that she have never had a better trainee with a longlas. That's no small compliment from a sniper of the 81st. Your part in destroying that Roamer-camp settled your attachment to the regiment as well."

Snickering Carrus deftly wrapped on the scarlet sash around his waist, Ionza smiled as she also got the scarlet sash on knowing well what her boy would say next. "Fine praise indeed boss, and it doesn't hurt that McLandi is your latest flame. Maybe you can finally-" The harsh glare in Harken's eyes shut him off. "Ehm I'm just joking my liege." Carrus smiled disarmingly.

"I know you are joking Carrus, it just ain't funny. You know fully well the reason for me to not settle down, last time we spoke about that I lost my hand. So learn to watch your frakking mouth if you want to survive." The harsh glare of Harken's eyes made it abundantly clear that his relationship with Carrus had soured lately.

"We are landing at Echo-Tango-Foxtrot 43-26-80-92. Base-Camp 81." The pilot's voice were heard over the internal vox of the Valkyrie. Carrus and Ionza dizzily checked their gear as they prepared for drunkenly inspect the troopers while Harken picked up his sword-belt and put it on swooning a bit as he felt the wine going to his head as he got up.

Chapter II

The Valkyrie landed. The three Commissars disembarked. Carrus and Ionza both displayed obvious signs of having just devoured a bottle of wine each the last hour as they inelegantly jumped out of the hovering Valkyrie not tripping as they landed. Harken at least didn't seem visibly drunk as he landed just behind Carrus.

Colonel James Stremm a huge Ogryn of a man stood smoking a fat lho-rod at the landing zone. He was very muscled, fair complexion, short hair of blackish color, massively scarred face, brown soulless eyes, easily as tall as Harken. Carrus wondered how they had managed to clean up the Ogryn so well as he had seen Ogryns before. He was dressed in some sort undisciplined green uniform that look like they never would fit anyone and some light armour of a green-black design at places where he felt the recoil of the Heavy Bolter who hung from leather-straps over his shoulder, he had a few other weapons like a laspistol and a monofilament knife clearly hanging in his belt, his left fist was a massive metallic power fist. The Shadow-Tiger cloak of his looked small on his huge body.

Next to him Scout-Captain Thomas Smith stood, narrow-faced and pale, about the height of Carrus, but looked a lot leaner and meaner. Fair complexion, long black hair in a pig-tail, brown eyes that held no compassion whatsoever, he was dressed in some sort of green-dark uniform with carapace armour greenish of design covering most of his body, his Shadow-Tiger cloak were carefully designed by him to wrap quite ably around his body. He didn't look much older than Carrus and Ionza, yet they couldn't determine his age. He hefted a boltgun in his hands, and Ionza thought he possibly had a few other weapons on him as well. Better left unchecked and this was Carrus' responsibility, not her's.

A foot or so behind Stremm Sniper-Captain Gabrielle McLandi were present. Dark-skinned, about 10 cm taller than Carrus, muscular, a few scars ran across her face but they were nothing compared to the heavily scarred faces of Harken and Stremm, long black hair in rasta-style, actually quite pretty, she were dressed in an unarmoured camouflage garb of grey-brown color, her longlas dangled behind her shoulder along with her cloak made of the hide of a Shadow-Tiger which expertly were wrapped around her. Her mellow brown eyes peered right at Ionza who felt a tad relaxed as she unlike Carrus actually had someone she knew inside the regiment already.

"As you see kids, this is your new employer." Harken let his hand go over the horizon, the camp was well hidden. "The Freudakian 81st. Shadow-Tigers." He smiled at Carrus as he continued. "Scout-Captain Thomas Smith is the finest tracker this proud regiment has ever produced, and I shall know, I have served in this unit before. He is the commanding officer of your section of this regiment the Scout-platoons." Nobody could hear that he had just taken in a full bottle of wine.

This part will tell about Carrus' first meeting with the soldiers he would go on to discipline.

Carrus went forward. Flashing a fast smile at Smith while nodding at him, which Smith returned. Carrus let his eyes peer into the soul of the man. He was used to this, most backed away even if he drunkenly stared into their eyes. Smith stared right back at Carrus. This was unexpected. Carrus eventually broke that contact puzzled about the hard eyes of Smith. Smith waved to Carrus to come with him, which he did.

Smith actually thought Carrus didn't actually look half-bad for a Cadet-Commissar. He knew Carrus were more than a mere peacock with nice feathers as he regarded the gritty uniform of Carrus. It was dirty and smelled of battle and blood.

"I guess we shall just drop the niceties?" Carrus looked bemused at Smith who merely nodded as they trailed into the jungle. "So give me the number of men I'm supposed to discipline Scout-Captain." Carrus let his soft voice seem disarming.

"993 men and women including me Cadet-" Carrus cut Smith off. "See this sash?" He let his cloak and greatcoat go aside. "That's the mark of a fully fledged Commissar, never forget that. Now give me a proper report Scout-Captain." He stopped Smith at the track, Carrus smiled bleakly as he saw the look of surprise crossing the face of Smith.

"Yes Commissar, there are 336 women and 657 men in the Scout-Platoons. Lieutenants Klarry Bolstrom, Nuts McHendrix not his real first-name, honestly I don't know what it is, Sammy McAllister, Jerome Pax and Lilly James are my COs of the scouts." Carrus glanced at Smith watching his Rosarius. He smiled knowing they would get along fine, eventually. But for now he was the new thing for the scouts to hate.

"Hm I can't say I feel wanted." Carrus smirked as he took a deep drag of his lho-rod before discarding it not igniting a new one while he drank of the wine watching the soldiers gazing at him from a distance with hateful eyes. He recognized that hatred, it was the seething hatred he felt when he done one of his many pranks on the Eccleserial cadets like utilizing the fire-hose as a way of waking them up or he made sure really high-born officer cadets were scrubbing floors with toothbrushes and working at the sewers for failing his most stringent test of mattresses or having a speck of dust at some unreachable place where only he could find it. Carrus decided to not tend to matters about dust at the windowstills as dying would be a rather poor start of this relationship.

"No wonder Commissar, the last we were having were absolute morons who killed brave men for idiotic reasons-" Carrus cut Smith short with a hand-wave. "You are frank Smith I'll give you that, it's actually the finest ability a man can possess." Carrus trailed on as they walked, playing his trump making sure he spoke loudly enough at his vox-beads so they heard him loud and clear, deliberately changing the channel to general as he saw the vox-station nearby. "Remember you picked me Scout-Captain Thomas Smith, not the other way around. I have qualified for this regiment, so have Ionza. We have slain a Shadow-Tiger each and not long ago we alone took out a whole camp of Roamers." Carrus fluffed his coat and cloak so the troopers clearly saw the shimmering fur on his cape, which were a conscious choice as he had to gain their respect, and quite fast.

The wild-eyed McHendrix stepped out of his quarters. About as tall as Ionza, an unruly crop of orange hair on the top of his head with an equally wild beard. He glared challenging straight into the gaze of Carrus. McHendrix was dressed in some sort of blackish battlesuit, not too different from Carrus' own sort of armour. Carrus shuddered a bit as he realized the man wore things he had pried from the dead hands of Commissars. The cold and mad eyes of McHendrix gazed straight at Carrus' more glazed eyes as he was both drunk and tired. He looked like he was between 40 to 50.

"Lieutenant McHendrix." Carrus nodded with his trademark smile at him, voice all calm and soothing. McHendrix lit up in a mad smile with yellow teeth before he spat some chewing tabac towards the boots of Carrus, who surprisingly managed to jump a step back avoiding that. Not that it was strictly necessary as the boots he wore were well dirty because of him playing in the mud of the jungle all day. It was a triumph for Carrus, now the troopers had seen that even when drunk he still reacted fast as quicksilver.

"McHendrix." Carrus laid his voice heavy with authority. "Don't try to spit on me again. Next time you will thank the God-Emperor if I doesn't just knock you out cold. I'm a Commissar not a spit-bucket." Carrus briskly turned. "I will meet the rest of your guys during the following months Smith." Carrus smiled his smug smile, his authority was secured. "I will find my way back to the LZ alone." He made his trademark nod with smile to Smith before trailing off into the night drinking the fine wine.

McHendrix stood in the night looking at the Commissar walking away from him. He knew Carrus were a dangerous man, worse a man that knew the truth. He wasn't like the other Commissars, not by a longshot, he had felt the gaze of Carrus peer through his soul. McHendrix feared the fun were over now with a stern fast-reacting new disciplinarian.

As for Ionza's meeting with the snipers it went a lot more differently than Carrus' meeting with the scouts. She sheepishly followed McLandi wondering how the hell she should be able to assert any authority over the sharpshooters, not that she was too bad in that herself. Even worse her friend and mentor was the one she had to execute if she failed in her sworn duty.

"We doesn't have quite the numbers of the other two branches, only 318 snipers are in this regiment. Most are female. It's 254 females and 64 males serving as the snipers both of us included." McLandi spoke softly while Ionza smiled bleakly.

"Name your lieutenants or whatever you call them McLandi." Ionza calmly inhaled deeply from her lho-rod as they entered the camp of the snipers. She took note of how disciplined they seemed to be.

"Gavin Grey and Patrice Mackey are my chief-snipers, both have over one thousand confirmed kills at battles going back over twenty years." Ionza whistled pretending to be impressed shifting a tad with her longlas. "Let me meet them Gabby." Ionza calmly inched her way over towards their quarters.

"Oh are those the quarters?" Ionza smiled sadistically, pointing straight at the second finest barrack at the compound, while she fished up her hidden lockpick from a pocket in her greatcoat which she was damn glad he carried on her now. As Carrus had told her it would be stupid to carry as they were more likely to run for their lives after everyone died than breaking and entering again.

"Yes, but we can't just-" McLandi started. Ionza swiftly cut her off. "We can't just what?" With a small groan from it she had picked the lock. "I'm a full Commissar Gabby now, so this isn't breaking and entering it's investigation." Ionza opened up the door and slipped inside after discarding her lho-rod, while she smiled a wolf-like smile as she knew she now had McLandi unsettled.

She found both Gray and Mackey asleep, with an evil grin she turned on the lights. "Is this the sort of welcome your new head of discipline is getting?" Ionza seriously wondered how in the Emperor's name she managed to utter that sentence without keeling over and laughing, she had never been happier that the many years of training had instilled in her good emotion-suppressors.

The look on the couple's faces said it all. They had messed up, gone to sleep when the new Commissars arrived. Ionza thought they looked too similar. Almost like brother and sister. Both were blonde about 1.7 meters tall, their faces, and general body-shapes were the same, neither was very attractive.

"I'm the new Commissar of the Sniper-wing, Michelle Ionza, you can call me Commissar, Ionza or lady. Now get dressed, we have business to attend to." Ionza unblinkingly looked at both who tried to cover behind the duvet looking at her with eyes buring of cold hatred. They uneasily saw mud slipped off her onto the clean floor, noting the longlas she were hefting along with other equipment. The longlas was for the new protege of McLandi, they had heard good things about that one. They didn't know she was the charge of their old Commissar. Ionza exited their house with a smug grin.

"McLandi." Ionza nodded flashing the same type of smile Carrus tended to flash when he nodded. "Well the turtle-doves should be freshed up now, why weren't they alerted of my arrival?" She let her merciless eyes peer deeply into the soul of McLandi who shrugged nervously.

"Ehm I-I alerted them, but they haven't had a Commissar here for three years, and Harken-" Ionza interrupted McLandi. "Now that I'm of rank, it's not Harken anymore, it's Commissar Harken, same goes for Carrus, it's Commissar Carrus when you are addressing him or talking about him. Understood?" McLandi resisted the urge to strangle the young woman. "Understood lady."

"Also at a more personal note Captain Gabrielle McLandi, your relationship with Commissar Harken ends here and now. From now of your relationship are strictly professional. Understood?" Ionza looked annoying at McLandi as she had never fancied that relationship and it would undermine unit-morale if allowed to go on. McLandi looked back. She so much wanted to murder her former protege, yet in the core she was right. Her jaw tightened, she nodded a consent, unlike Carrus and Ionza this wasn't a relationship she knew would last. Hell Harken never tended to land at one woman for long anyway, so it was a good way out for her without wondering if Harken would be pissed off.

Gray and Mackey yawned as they got out, they dressed up in grey greatcoats obviously intending to go to sleep as soon as the troublesome brat left the camp. Ionza flashed a wide grin at them. "Aaah nothing is like a little night-action? Right?" She smiled at them, seeming like she had never invaded their privacy and waken them up. Ionza saw they were between 30 and 40.

"I apologize for my breach of privacy and conduct, but it's unacceptable that I shouldn't be able to meet the officers in my command." Ionza again looked at McLandi. Gray spoke instead, his voice were hoarse and gravelly, Ionza could see that he hadn't shaven in a few days. "Commissar I'm sorry. We knew you would come, but Commissars due to their nature rarely serves with the snipers. Anyway-" Ionza interrupted him. "Excuse accepted, we will get to know each other the next few months. I won't hold your relationship against you, and Commissar Carrus won't either. If you catches flak for it let me or him know." Ionza stretched and yawned hefting the longlas, the day had been very long for her.

"Gabby, I will take my leave now. Gray and Mackey, dismissed." Ionza trailed back towards the LZ studying her longlas. It felt nicely as always, Enginseer Lucius himself had made it, and the special sight on it made sure she could trail anything. She was a bit mournful over being so bitchy towards McLandi, but she had to in order to get the fear of the Emperor into her. Carrus no doubt established his authority in a similar manner. Now she just looked forward to get some sleep after a good warm bath, or maybe she would just plunder the wine-cellar of the Schola Freudakia again as there were a fortythree year old red wine screaming for her down there. Though now as a fully fledged Commissar she could just confiscate it.

I will now take on the relationship between Stremm and Harken.

Watching the two teenagers with their respective officers trail off at hidden tracks Stremm and Harken was left. They grinned hard grins as they saw the two inebriated young commissars follow the two captains.

"Do you think they will manage?" Harken looked a bit perplexed at Stremm. "Oh they will old friend, have no doubt about that. You have trained them well Nate." Stremm answered with his harsh, growling voice. It was as pleasant to listen to as a fist hitting your ear.

"I have some Freudakian wine you shall taste Nate, it has been so long since we spoke." Stremm was happy, sure Harken was a Commissar, but lenient for a Commissar, better yet he actually had a sense of humor. He waved to Harken to follow him, which he did.

"It has been nearly over twenty years now old friend, apart from bits and pieces from time to time of course." Stremm laughed harshly. "Damn, both of the kids weren't even born yet when we fought together on Zidon." Harken smiled as they trailed on towards the HQ of Stremm, then Harken said. "Oh I found Ionza there by the way, cold girl that one. Rest assured never found a finer candidate." "What about Carrus?" Stremm looked quzzingly at Harken who just grinned. "Carrus coldly killed a charging Genestealer the year before I found Ionza, no-one keeps his cool in close range firefights like him. He ain't insanely brave, and actually a master in taking cover. That's why he is so good at close range, his ability to shield himself comes with an instinct nothing can teach any man nor woman."

Patting on his fat lho-rod, Stremm liked what he heard. He briefly saluted the two sentries outside his HQ. "Describe their styles as Commissars." Harken smirked. "Relax old buddy, they will mesh, nether is stupid enough to be hardliners. Ionza is a tad more draconian than Carrus, but neither will flog your soldiers for small matters, and if they do, I sure as hell will flog them."

They entered the office of Stremm in the grey bunker. The office were surprisingly elaborate and nice for such a roughhewn fellow. The office-desk was of some grayish marble. Stacks of papers were surprisingly orderly laid up on it. A nice red carpet lined from the entrance to the fine skin-chairs Stremm had his guests sink into. He himself had a red-clothed office-chair which made him look even more impressive as his guests even Harken sank into the soft chairs there. Bookcases and computers were also present there.

"Just sit down Nate." Stremm calmly got out a set of keys and unlocked one of the bookcases. It was a hidden bar. He got a fine 37 year old Freudakaian red out. It was quickly opened, and following that he poured into two crystal glasses. One were handed to Harken.

"Cheers for the future of Freudakia and the Imperium." Harken and Stremm said as one just before they swallowed the expensive liquid in a manner which would have most wine-knowers cringe. "Aaah that was good. I have the data-slates here, Ionza should be able to choose where she ends up. Top marks in every category. Hm her disciplinary chart is squeaky clean, same with Carrus." Stremm glanced skeptical at Harken before continuing. "Same with Carrus, not impressive in the theoretical department, borderline insubordinate and squeaky clean record?" "Forgive an old thief Commissar, but he can't quite believe that." Stremm grinned.

"They are the best cadets of the Schola Freudakia right now. Both have passed the test just as I did when I first entered this honored regiment almost 100 years ago." Harken knew Stremm had seen through the cover of the two new Commissars, sure they were widely regarded as the finest cadets. Few cadets were allowed so much leeway and responsibility as them, yet they were known to steal like ravens, though they called it confiscations.

"You are hiding fact from me my friend. Neither Commissar is perfect, but I won't parlay with you about this as we will meet and greet with them. I will send lieutenants Gruer and Finlay to the Schola to observe them as their adjutants. Both are young officers, recently promoted." Stremm looked annoyed at the lack of trust from his old friend. All he demanded was honesty, and even that small gift were denied him. So now he appointed those two as their adjutants, they would report the truth.

Stremm clicked on the buzzer. "Adjutant, please bring me lieutenant Jordan Gruer and Ivona Gruer." He looked at Harken with a sneer. Harken just mercilessly peered back, he felt outmaneuvered he hated that. Stremm continued. "We went to this honored Schola Progenium together. Both of us are orphans." Glancing down at the report-card of Carrus. "Heyh he ain't even a death worlder, hell he is a silver spoon-" Harken cut him off. "Say that to Carrus' face and he is likely to kick your off if you are lucky. He might not be born at a battlefield, but he sure as hell grew up on one. I should know, as he has faced me down one on one and survived."

The face of Stremm went pale. "You-you are saying Carrus can stand up to you..." His word trailed off. "By the Emperor I thought that weren't possible." Stremm looked at Harken worried. "You ain't lyin-" Harken's harsh glare cut him off. Pressing the button of the buzzer again, Stremm said. "Order belayed, I don't need the lieutenants anyway." Harken stretched in the comfortable chair while sipping fine wine. Stremm watched the confident Harken stretch. He shuddered, even Space Marines couldn't stand up to Harken in close-combat and here a mere teenage, not looking as much either could hold him at bay. That certainly meant something when Harken had told him last year that he finally had found a Commissar for the scouts in the data-slate he sent him.

Carrus and Ionza met up at the LZ. They quickly entered the vox-shack and voxed in a Valkyrie. We will return to them returning to the Schola Freudakia later on.

As Harken and Stremm was reminiscing of old times and getting drunk together, Smith and McLandi came and demanded entry. The adjutants swiftly let them inside Stremm's office.

Stremm laughingly got seated, same with Harken, they leered towards the officers. "Speak up laddie, or did the cat catch your tongue." He smiled, four bottles of wine were on the desk, most of the paper were spread around the floor or stained with the rings of wine from the glasses Stremm and Harken drank heavily off, not that they did that anymore. Both were now drinking out of a bottle each, the bookcase was open, showing off the bar.

"Just take a bottle officers. Smile and be happy, and tell us whatcha think of the new Commissars." Harken drunkenly told both while regarding them with slurry eyes. Mclandi and Smith hesitates a little, exchanging glances, then they got a bottle of wine getting a hold of deep chairs each.

"Well Carrus didn't too bad, and even stared down Nuts McHendrix, so I guess the lad is talented enough. He can obviously track..." Smith trailed off as he glanced at the data-slate lying open at the desk. It showed off the profile of Carrus. He read it carefully, and the slow reactions of the inebriated Harken couldn't hide the truth about him being in a relationship with Ionza.

A smiling McLandi saw it as well, then she spoke. "You know she dragged my two Chief-Snipers out of bed-." Harken interrupted. "Did you let your Chief-Snipers sleep while new Commissars entered the regiment?" Harken looked at her with a coldness he had never had in his eyes before. He continued. "You can count yourself lucky you wasn't executed McLandi." She swallowed heavily then took a good slurp of the wine-bottle before speaking. "Commissar Harken sir. Commissar Ionza has ordered our relationship cancelled. I had my doubts about that when she ordered it, but I will follow that order." Harken's face reddened. McLandi continued. "Colonel Stremm sir, permission to be dismissed.?" Stremm merely nodded, and McLandi swiftly left the room.

Harken looked ready to explode with anger, he had much love for McLandi. And now that brat Michelle Ionza had ordered her to stop her relationship with him, and she was gonna hide behind it. He knew Carrus would also sanction the order, so there were no way in hell he could countermand it. He thought a moment how easy life were before either entered his life. Always going from regiment to regiment, woman to woman. Then two kids who he normally never cared about did stuff he didn't expect and next he knew he were at the Schola teaching them stuff, if they were knocked down, he taught them a new way of breaking an arm or worse, then they were up and fighting again. He sighed and his anger quickly gave way to a proud smile. The birds were learning to fly already.

"Smith continue your report." Stremm's harsh voice snapped Harken right out of the education of Carrus and Ionza as both humans, but also as military personnel. "Yes, sir. Commissar Carrus would fit in, most of the troopers unsurprisingly hates him already, but he is intelligent enough to flag that he were chosen not chose to enter the regiment." Harken looked at Smith, halfway as in wondering if he could read his lips. Halfway as in wondering why they were still rambling on about his charges.

The trio continued to drink well into the next morning, talking about anything but relevant stuff, so we will trail it off from here.

.

.

Damn, this was a long read. I liked the part whe they fougth those cannibals. All in very well writhe, and the lack of gore are just fine. its good to see people who can get a story like this running along so well as you have

Trondheim wrote:Damn, this was a long read. I liked the part whe they fougth those cannibals. All in very well writhe, and the lack of gore are just fine. its good to see people who can get a story like this running along so well as you have

Thanks, I will continue the story with the fluff I have published at Warseer.

Chapter III

We will now have a short fallback to Flinch and Merc.

Both Flinch and Merc boarded the Valkyrie coming to ship them back to the Schola Freudakia. Merc shivered and drank of the wine-bottle as he went onboard the transport. He wimped as he felt boxed in by the gray walls inside it. Everytime he closed his eyes he saw the emotionless eyes of Carrus and Ionza, their evil grins with lit lho-rods. One hefting that thrice-cursed meltagun at him, the other with that bolt pistol.

"Relax Thierri." The soothing voice of Flinch snapped Merc out of his negative chain of thought. "Soon we will be home and all this will be over." Both knew that was a lie. Now they were to be cadets, worse Carrus and Ionza would both personally keep an interest in them, and that was not good.

They drank of the wine-bottles. Merc passed out before they landed, he was mentally and physically drained after a long day of fighting. Flinch weren't in much better shape. Both were dehydrated as neither had the iron-constitution the hard jungle-fighting made you develop. Both were medivaced to the infirmary by the medical teams Carrus had ordered. The last thought trailing through the mind of Flinch before he passed out were: "Maybe Carrus ain't so bad at all." He thought it right after hearing: "Thank the Emperor that Cadet-Commissar Carrus had the foresight ordered us here, if not we would have transported them to the morgue."

Now we will trace forward to Carrus and Ionza returning from action, back to the Schola.

Carrus and Ionza stumbled out of the Valkyrie, their armour laid in a mixed heap on the floor of it. That was tomorrows business. They were drunk as they trailed past the sentries and guards entering the huge grey building. Searchlights scaled the high walls with barbed wired atop. Every guard the couple met gave perfect salutes as they fearfully glanced at the scarlet sashes both had around their waist.

The couple trudged through the hallways, the occasional guard looked at them in fear as they saluted. They merely gave a shrill nod with a fast smile each back with lit lho-rods in their mouths. They rapidly got to their room, the Hole in the Wall. The primitive brown wooden sign had been crudely bolted into place. The cracks in the concrete wall was visible for all to see. Carrus and Ionza went past that door. A much more discrete almost invisible door were swiftly opened. Finally they were home.

Inside were the rather large rooms they possessed, it was a luxurious shack. None but the best of the best progenia were allowed to sleep in such quarters. Yet they had for the last two year. The nicely furnitured room showed a mix of style and decadence. The best part was that bathroom complete with a hot-tub. Not even Harken had the keys for this room, the private quarters of Carrus and Ionza. Just picture a luxurious and neatly kept apartment with mostly red and green carpets and white marble floors and walls with lots of finer paintings.

Carrus and Ionza were allowed to sleep the day in. They had fought hard yesterday. Both woke up with hammering headaches, and choose to take it quite easy. Now not even Head-Missionary Natrax couldn't order them around anymore, even if he for any reason should have such an odd wish. Now the couple dressed in more colorful unarmoured Commissar-uniforms. They retained the sword and maingun, but they were unlikely to see action now with sashes adorning their waists. The couple went through the bar-like Hole in the Wall, they felt sad knowing their happiest days were over. Not even the custom floorboards that croaked, or the jukebox brought either much joy. The barroom were adorned with the skull of various creatures both had slain. It was a testament to their youthful exuberance despite all the time they had faced certain death, and mostly together. Pride over their new position were washed away, their graduation weren't the public spectable the promotion of a Commissar normally were with all the Commissarial cadets assembled in the Commissarial hall. No they had discretely been given a sash each by the headmaster of the Commissars of the Schola Freudakia. Both felt sullied. by the thought.

They quickly exited through the main entrance of the Hole in the Wall. "Commissars." A nervous-looking Cadet-Commissar in their class looked at the couple. "Speak your mind CC (Calling a Cadet-Commissar CC is a horrendous insult to that person) Hanson." Ionza said while she let her angry eyes go through his uniform hoping to find some error. "Head-head. Head." The man stuttered. "Speak your mind man, or loose your own." Ionza looked ready to explode, Carrus held her back. "No-no dear, I'm hungover, so the last thing I want is you kicking Hanson in the groin again. Just focus and speak your piece Hanson." Carrus looked tired at the Cadet-Commissar who enviously looked down at his sash. Hanson were a full year older than Carrus, yet Carrus were treated like gold just because he were an unparallelled fighter. Yet he was kinder than Ionza, whose response to a wrong guess tended to be a roundhouse-kick.

Adam Hanson were a tall, lanky 20 year old. Green eye, one bionic eye of mediocre quality (Ionza pierced one of his eyes with a knife when he insulted her once, worse Carrus had offered him one of premium quality) it glowed red in the metallic placement it had in his flesh, he had scars running across his face from both Drill-Abbots and that couple which had mangled his previously good looks, his skin were palish, narrow face almost with no nose (Ionza again), he was dressed in a greyish Cadet-Commissar garb which were far to short for him and weren't allowed to carry any weapons unlike the well-armed couple. As a person despite for all the physical harm Ionza had done him, he hated Carrus the most. He was everything Carrus weren't, theoretically good, but Carrus was practical and popular. Man how Hanson hated Carrus.

Hanson continued. "Head-Missionary James Natrax summons you both to his office." "See, everything works as long as you concentrates." Carrus smiled and met Hanson's cold glare of hatred with his smile and warm blue eyes. "So run along now Hanson and have some fun with....oh, theology-class (Carrus undoubtedly looked at the class-table hammered into the wall opposite the door of the Hole in the Wall)." Carrus had a teasing smile. He was so frakking glad he didn't have to go there anymore. Infact he hadn't attended that class in three years. Investigation-class with the Arbites-Cadets were much funnier, and taught both Carrus and Ionza valuable lessons in how to plant evidence as well as uncovering of course.

They swiftly went over to that compound not far from their rooms, finger-prints, eye-scans and voice-scans confirmed it was them of course. The compound of the Drill Abbots was now entered. The walls were overtly decorated in visions of the Emperor and Primarches fighting endless battles. Neither Ionza nor Carrus liked that style, they fought enough themselves and fighting usually showered both in mud, blood and things rather not written down. Several soldiers (with neatly fitting gray-black Storm-Trooper uniforms along with hotshot lasgun held on their waists) on guard did spotless salutes, only to be greeted by their small nods with smiles as the couple went through the hallways.

Eventually Carrus and Ionza reached the outer confines of the Office of the Principal. Both subjected themselves to the frisk-searches and further scannings, until Natrax a man with wild green eyes, dark complexion, grey heavy beard, heavy furrowed brow, blank skull, clad in a greenish robe which didn't reveal the heavily muscled figure beneath it, almost a head taller than Carrus waved them inside.

The couple rapidly found themselves inside the luxurious office of James Natrax. The walls was lined with bookshelves who actually were in use as they contained the reports of the students of the different sections of the Schola Freudakia. Carrus shrugged a bit looking at the size of his disciplinary-profile.

"Take seat Commissars." The gnarled voice of Natrax sounded old, extremely old. The hair on the back of both Commissars stood. The couple carefully got seated in the fine chairs with Grox-bones as handles and legs, dressed in the finest silk humanly possible to get. Both Carrus and Ionza returned the smile of Natrax when they got seated. As usual Natrax himself remained standing. He let his all-seeing green eyes peer into the souls of the couple. "Now you have graduated. No surprise there. Two years early is a bit more of a surprise." Natrax looked especially at Carrus when he said the last part. "I have come to understood that you both are to spend about three months here as Drill-Abbot and Drill-Abbess." Natrax thought it was fun with those titles, as neither was meant to be monk or nun. "Oh God-Emperor how both would reek as that." He thought in his silent mind while only his odd smile gave out that he thought of anything other than lectures, at least in Carrus' mind as he was all but certain the man was totally devoid of humor.

"Get to the point Master Natrax." Natrax snapped back and out of his line of thought with the small contempt Carrus said master with. Natrax knew it was more a habit than meaning for the young man to speak that way, but yet it unsettled him. Carrus' blue eyes glared back at his with unrelenting faith in the Emperor.

"Yes the point, forgive an old man to marvel a bit about the work his former student had done." Natrax smiled at both of them, who glanced confused at each other. "Sorry my dearest lad." Natrax's glance fell right at the slightly squirming Carrus. "I just couldn't help glancing at what Harken could have been. Anyway, your mum Carrus is terminally ill. I have cancelled the order for you about joining the Shadow-Tigers. Instead you will see out your three months here, then I'm sending you home with your best friends young Carrus to mourn your mother. Not many progenia ever gets to know their." Natrax glared at the emotionless face of Carrus, he saw sorrow in his eyes, but worse he saw ambition, unbridled ambition. "You are both dismissed Commissars." Both Carrus and Ionza did sharp military salutes with their black Commissar-hats (they wore the same style, rather low peaked-caps with a blackened out skull similar to the guard of Carrus' sword at the center of their caps) under their arms. Natrax did the same salute back.

Carrus felt out of this world as he exited the office of Natrax, rapidly retrieved his meltagun and power sword from the guards of Natrax. His mum were dying, he could remember some tenderness and such, but mostly it was old Sister Joanna who were his mother, not his biological one. Yet he felt pain in his heart as he knew his mother was dying. Ionza was also lost in wonder, Carrus had time and time again bragged about the day he would be king. Now the opportunity were here. His mother were dying, he was ripe and full of ambition unbridled. She watched her young prince, he seemed lost in thought as she retrieved her own power sword and bolt pistol.

The couple rapidly trailed over to the infirmary after asking about Flinch and Merc. The walls changed from the war-glorifying walls the Drill-Abbots lived and worked between to the somber white walls for the sick and injured with surgeons, doctors and nurses of all vocations hurried to save the life of students who had been out from anything from accidents at live fire drills to students who had tried to commit suicide by any means.

Both shuddered as they walked past rooms were doctors declared students dead and nurses took the time. People they met in the corridors jumped even more than usual, they were already feared, but this was ridiculous a scarlet sash shouldn't have this effect. Eventually they met the Sister Hospitallier Nana Grace. Tall for a woman as she was slightly shorter than Carrus, unblinking dark-green eyes, the classic black hair in the Sororita-hairdue, shapely formed, an ugly scar totally marred her beauty as it ran from her forehead at the left side over one of her eyes to the neck, she was dressed in a rather practical white lab-coat. She had for the past three years been assigned to the convent at Terra, she was a member of the Order of the Torch. She along with the best and brightest of the Sister Hospitallier held the Catus Advance as she was just as much an adviser to Natrax, a soldier accompanying the cadets into the skirmishes and a scientist as she endlessly studied the ancient tomes in the Schola-library as she was doctor and compassionate nurse for the sick and injured.

Grace smiled at both, she had been a classmate of Ionza who were an old friend of her's, with her hoarse voice which Carrus actually thought were quite sweet to his ears she said. "Congrats." She made a curtsy to both as she saw their scarlet sashes. "Thank you Grace, but I must be brief sister. Do you know were Kaldor Flinch and Thierri Merc are? We have only three months before we must go to Ciralix, Carrus might give you the details if he sees fit to do so." Ionza had little time for curtsies and such dwaddle, though she made a small and gracious one.

"Yes, follow me Commissars, I was in charge of treating them both." Grace paused a little, then spoke again. "Ehm Commissar Carrus what is sister Ionza referring to? Anything I could do?" She looked worried at Carrus, their religious standing was far from each other, yet he had always been a support for her even thought she at times felt he was corrupting Ionza. "My mother is dying, we shall see out our time here. Can you be kind enough to travel home in advance Sister Grace? I have no-one I trust more with medical issues than you, so I want you to go there to keep my mum alive until I return home." Like him Grace hated her own first name, so he was persistent in calling her Grace, who had a healthy respect for both as she had been the best mate of Ionza since they were 12 as Sororita-adepts. Her respect for Carrus were more due to him always treating her with courtesy as he would never try to cross her.

Ionza was Grace' bunk-mate when she started attending the Schola Freudakia many years earlier. New progeni are often sleeping in bunks, many powerful friendships are forged which can last for centuries. She was the only student at the Schola Freudakia Carrus actually was scared of, no wonder she had stood up to him more than once in close-combat, but what really scared him were her aversion to drugs even alcohol she regarded as impure even when doing surgery she rarely used drugs on the patient. Her skill as a torturer were peerless, Carrus had been forced to watch many a time as he had wrangled in a cadet worshiping the ruinous powers for her. As combat gear she wore a blackish combat-suit very similar to Carrus, a power sword, laspistol as backup and a bolter which she was quite the shot with. She also had a pelt of a Shadow-Tiger as the last progenia there. Three students had one, she, Ionza and Carrus.

"Commissar Carrus I'm delighted in your faith in me, and I will travel to Ciralix Prius in a day. Also I'm truly sorry for your loss." Grace heard how sad Carrus were when he asked her to take care of the medical issues, and it was a golden opportunity as many friends and associates of Carrus had traveled to Ciralix Prius the last two years. She was a bit jealous of Carrus there, he unlike most progeni knew his parents. For her the parent-case were classified, not even Harken had the clearing to retrieve that information.

The trio rapidly made they way through the infirmary, walking past many of the pinkish doors were young soldiers fighting the Roamers were held up, at times they met a Cadet-Commissar coming out of a room after giving a cadet beyond saving the Emperor's peace, he saluted them and the two true Commissars responded as usual. "There they are, room 241. I'll wait on the outside my lieges." Grace made a small curtsy, receiving smiling nods in return. Carrus and Ionza entered the room.

Merc and Flinch were weak and dehydrated. Carrus and Ionza had made critical mistakes in giving them alcohol, but how the hell could they know they hadn't drank anything at all at that point? The two Commissars didn't exactly look pleased at their young proteges. "So!" Ionza sort of screeched. "At least you are awake. Were you too slowed to even get a sip of water?" She let her cold brown eyes peer into their souls while sounding quite irritated. Flinch answered. "Sorry lady, but we-we were out of water and didn't know if the streams we passed were safe to drink of." Now Carrus butted in. "What with your water-purifying tablets? Did you forget about them?" Flinch answered again. "Brother Thoray said we didn't need them. OW!!!" Ionza rapidly drew her whip and a quick lash left a bloody scar across his torso. "What did I say about Brother Thoray?" She snarled. In unison both Merc and Flinch loudly stated. "Brother Thoray is a fool, never listen to Brother Thoray!!!" Ionza smiled a shrill smile before they left.

The next few weeks flew by, Merc and Flinch were both introduced to the officer-program by Carrus who were the more reasonable of the couple. Then they rounded up the men and women who would be part of Carrus' honor guard when they returned to Ciralix Prius. Grace was included of course, so were the Cadet-Commissars Rick Higgins, Jurten Mack and Cal Simpson. All three were tall, bulky deathworlders, with burning brown eyes, short black hair, bronzed skin save for Simpson who was dark-skinned and lots of scars from battle and ritual practice despite the Drill-Abbots at the Schola Freudakia always meting out severe punishments for such acts. Most of the friends of Carrus and Ionza were regarded as troublemakers with all their less than mature pranks, so Natrax was glad to see them go, though Grace was a model student which were a severe loss.

Ionza like Carrus had no desire to fight for her life. She like her mate thirsted for the good life with good wine, exotic food, riches and the least amount of fighting that could be desired. Few knew about the true nature of them. Here they were the iron-willed Commissars that drilled fearlessness and duty to the Emperor into budding Storm-Troopers, none were finer in finding what cadets really were fit for than them. Indeed they were a rare breed, they had the ear of both young and old at Schola Freudakia.

Meanwhile Head-Missionary James Natrax took a Valkyrie to the basecamp of the Shadow-Tigers. He was worried which showed at his face. Lord-Inquisitor Selpid had ordered him to send home young Carrus with his friends. Natrax knew Harken and Stremm his former students wouldn't be too happy finding out that the two Commissars Harken carefully had groomed for the purpose were to go Ciralix Prius. Harken knew well of Selpid, and that threat would even stifle his rage. For the occasion Natrax dressed in a rather greyish robe, it hid some weapons as he knew Harken were a violent man.

At the LZ Stremm stood with his two guards. Their high-powered lasguns were slung over their waists. Stremm shuddered in the cold rain, not just from the cool temperature of the rain which slipped off his green greatcoat, but also of the thought about going up against his mentor, Natrax. He thought over all the harsh lessons Natrax had dished out to both him and Harken as boys. Whipping them into shape, making them able to face down quite a lot of the horrors of the universe. Stremm induced all his training to avoid shivering as he saw the Valkyrie with Natrax land, and felt even worse when he met the eyes of Natrax.

"So Commissar-General Harken is a problem my former charge?" Natrax spoke with his voice needlessly sweet. He could barely contain his outrage. "Yes Missionary. Harken have been a prob-" Stremm trailed off as Natrax put a finger to his mouth. "Pathetic, you should be able to discipline him yourself." "Sir. I'm a Colonel, so I have no authority over Harken. Had Commissar Carrus or Commissar Ionza been here, they would without no doubt have kept Harken in line." Stremm looked angrily back at Natrax who just nodded. "Take me to the quarters of Harken." The two men were walking as they talked.

As for Harken, his regret over Ionza's order had him slipping into a depression, which neither her nor Carrus were aware off. Worse his former lover seemed to spend too much time with Stremm, which annoyed him to unknown degrees. He missed the kids, they colored his life in a color no woman, fighting or other friends could. As usual Harken were drunk in his quarters, half-naked and not really in a mood for anything but a fight.

Suddenly there were a knock on the iron-door. "Get lost!!!" Harken growled picking up a boltgun of Astartes design, he gripped it tightly as he slammed the door open, pointing it straight at Natrax who just glared at him. "Is this a way to receive your old mentor?" Natrax was about as tall as Harken himself. Harken thought a bit, then slowly lowered the bolter. "Sorry master. I-I'm just so confused." Natrax saw the depression in the eyes of his former protege.

"Pathetic." Natrax shook his head while he rapidly disarmed Harken, and pushed him back into the room so he hit his bed which collapsed under his weight. The whole room were dirty and dusty, a far cry from the pedantic Commissar Carrus and Ionza were used to teaching them. "There must be something in that old saying, that the teacher always go better along with the pupils of his student, than his student." Natrax looked at Harken in cold disregard, his voice were chilly. "You have seen wars which have ripped every woman you have loved to pieces, and you mull over a couple of over-independent kids? Who ain't even dead, and looks to live past our age?" Natrax was full of suppressed rage. "Had Commissar Carrus or Ionza been here, God-Emperor, they would have flogged you for dereliction of duties Commissar-General. So on your feet SOLDIER the regiment needs you as a Commissar not a lout!!!"

Harken stumbled onto his feet, but was unsuccessful, one half-empty bottle of sujamma made him stumble so he collapsed back onto his bed with a loud groan. Natrax only facepalmed. "Emperor what an idiot I raised." Then he shrieked. "GET ON YOUR FRAKKING FEET SOLDIER!!! I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR STUPID EXCUSES!!! THIS ROOM SHALL BE SPOTLESS WITHIN THE HOUR!!! UNDERSTOOD???!!!" Harken quickly got on his feet, making a stiff and surprisingly good salute considering his condition before he answered. "Yes sir, fully understood sir."

Natrax smiled glumly, neither Carrus nor Ionza never were stupid enough to disregard him, like Harken at times did. He exited the bunker. "Stremm!!!" Stremm hurried over to him. "Make sure Harken is on jungle patrol the next few days, and walk with me." Stremm quickly answered. "Yes sir." They walked to a secluded area, then Natrax spoke. "I'm sorry my lad, but Carrus and Ionza have important duties now, far beyond the reach of even your regiment. I'm sorry laddie, but there are things you can't know." Stremm's jaw tightened as he just nodded in response. Natrax grabbed him by the shoulders looking straight into his eyes. "Don't tell Harken, I don't like it anymore than you do, but keeping silent of this is the imperative right now. Understood?" Stremm merely nodded as he realized that Carrus and Ionza, two excellent Commissars wouldn't join his regiment. He was very worried, his regimental Commissar went on drinking-binges, the two who kept that man grounded were bound for better things and he would likely have to choose from "the finest" Cadet-Commissars which usually meant he would get the useless hardliners better suited for a Penal Legion than anything else. Stremm watched his old master walk away, while he thought about how the hell he should ready the troops for them not having two rather sympathetic Commissars but now hardliners Harken was more than likely to execute.

Not that it was that bad, most of the Commissars at the Schola Freudakia were indoctrinated and tough, but Harken, Carrus and Ionza had personally executed those with mental disorders and the cadets that viewed human life as easily wasted tended to have Ionza sniping them so they spent hours dying. Most of the Cadet-Commissars were competent and loyal soldiers who regarded it as a sin to waste human life as Harken repeatedly had laid heavy weight on, of course they were skilled in ferreting out Genestealer-infestations and cultists as well. He was more than just the mentor of Carrus and Ionza, he shaped the generation of Commissars coming from Schola Freudakia in the years around M42 as Harken made sure that the tutors, Drill-Abbots and other teachers held his views. If not he executed them, or he let one of his students execute them as heretics as their first kill.

The Commissars were, Jack Little a heavyset and rather short male with a fair complexion, scarred facial features which included a misshapen mouth and a lacking ear, Dominic Woods a tall dark-skinned male with brown striking eyes, face was not too scarred compared with most students there, his bodily features were heavily muscled as he was pretty damn good with a chainsword and then you had Taylor Wasnewski, tall and thin, half his face was of metal after a disagreement with Carrus, both his eyes were bionic lasers after he looked too closely at the axe of a Feral Ork, most of his body were metal after Carrus blew up an Ork Dreadnaught and it promptly and literally blew up in his face. Despite the horrendous injuries Carrus had inflicted on him Wasnewski felt no ill will towards him. All were quite sensible as political officers who just were a tad too bad for the regiment as soldiers as they weren't quite the elite-soldiers Carrus and Ionza were, as neither had the Shadow-Tiger cloak. It must be noted that neither was very close to Carrus and Ionza.

Less than a month later the two Commissars with their allies were traveling home, on the Dictator-class Cruiser Heritage. Which Ionza joked must be a sign from the Emperor himself, even through saying that made her shudder as if the Emperor himself glared at her.

Dear lord. this was some of the best stuff I have read here on Dakka, I like how you flesh ou the characters. And that you give them flaws we all can realte to. Such as alchol and so on

Keep it up

Trondheim wrote:Dear lord. this was some of the best stuff I have read here on Dakka, I like how you flesh ou the characters. And that you give them flaws we all can realte to. Such as alchol and so on

Keep it up

That was quite a compliment from such a good writer as yourself. Thank you.

For me it's the flaws that's the fun of writing. Tearing Harken f.ex. apart was quite the fun for me.

I will keep it coming. The thing is if I shall go for the homecoming of Carrus or go for the original, which is a flashback.

I sort of go for the original thingy, which will detail how Carrus and Ionza got their weapons.

Chapter IV

The flashback.

Enginseer Lucius an extremely tall man of almost 2.5 meters, with only two human organs left in his body, brain and taste-buds, the rest were metal, dressed in a dark dirty burgundy colored robe having two red las-eyes, five different set of arms sticking out of his body with different things attached to them, like one drill, one adjustable screwdriver, one crane mounted on his back just to lift heavy stuff, the rest remained human-like as human hands are quite handy due to the adaptability of them when fixing guns, walked through the armory of Schola Freuddakia with his heavy iron legs making heavy ringing noises.

Rows of guns stood along gun-placements at the different tall, metallic, gray shelves in the dimly lit armory. The heavy ironed boots of acolytes scurrying out of the way as Lucius neared became dimmer. Lucius didn't care, he was drawn towards the rows with the meltaguns.

This sound was new, and totally different, Lucius picked up the weapon. He had heard weapons groan over misuse, hard handling, dropping and clumsy reloading. This one didn't, he examined it closely. It was pining, it was pining about a Storm-Trooper cadet. That made no sense, after studying the weapon he took it with him outside, he loathed being outside with humans scurrying around, noisy, inefficient humans, they were not like the harmonic machines. Worse were that blasted sun, it always was so sharp. Lucius didn't like going outside one bit, still the weapon were obviously pining, and it gave him an headache.

Lucius stepped outside. The sun almost blinded him, so he adjusted his las-vision. He groaned, students were everywhere, still the weapon were pining for that blasted cadet. The Schola Freudakia were bathed in sun-light, hadn't it been for the occasional transport carrying live targets for the senior students landing, it would seem like a very pleasant place to be with the bird-songs and the sun. It wasn't, it was a Schola Progenium, were innocent boys and girls were learned to kill and be drilled in the name of the Emperor. Teenagers with screaming Drill-Abbots/Abbesses were running in front of the huge concrete buildings singing odd songs, other cadets were making pushups while merciless tutors lashed them for every mistake, only a few of the senior progeni had any time off at all. Lucius continued forward as everyone made sure they gave him a wide berth, an Enginseer were best avoided.

Seeing Drill-Abbot Henan a scrawny tall man, merciless dark eyes, balding head, probably in his late thirties, dressed in a greenish Storm-Trooper garb without the armour, Lucius just went up to him. As usual he was abusing and kicking some of the fourteen year old Storm-Trooper cadets from the tiniest error in their pushups. Lucius cared more for a mice scurrying across the floor inside the armory than he did for any of these young boys.

"Drill-Abbot." Lucius' shrill mechanical voice rang out. The students rapidly rose to their feet trying not to shiver. Henan also straightened up, with a visible shiver he replied in his rather ratty voice. "Enginseer."

"Where do I find Storm-Trooper Carrus?" The red eyes of Lucius glared at Henan.

"Storm-Trooper Carrus? Excuse me, but that-" Henan was immediately cut off. "Storm-Trooper Carrus, where is he?" Lucius had adjusted his volume to almost shrieking, Henan and more than one cadet lost their bladder as they watched in terror the many arms of Lucius flail.

"At-at-at the central hall, I-I had him scrub it-" Henan began. A harsh glare from Lucius stopped him. Lucius continued towards the central hall.

Zachary Carrus at 14 a rather thin boy, not very tall either, sat on his knees in his dirty brown robe while scrubbing the marble-tiles of the central-hall with a toothbrush. Once more punished by Drill-Abbot Henan for a stupid reason, he had performed well in the live-fire exercise, yet he was punished. What could he have done to prevent the plasmagun malfunctioning? Nothing. Worse his best friend and bunk-mate Friesen was the one killed.

Dutifully Carrus carried out his punishment, Henan had it in for him from day one. Even ignoring the recommendation of Commissar-General Nathan Harken. Henan hated him because he was a silver spoon, but one day he would have his revenge, Carrus knew that as he cleaned the tiles one by one while the toothbrush slid out and in to the cold water in the bucket by his side.

Suddenly a shadow of something inhuman appeared over Carrus. He froze in abject terror, then got up. It wasn't like the other passing shadows that paid him no heed. Carrus got up and turned. Glaring down at him were Enginseer Lucius. Carrus felt his heart pound with fear.

"Are you Carrus?" The sound rang in Carrus' ears, one of his eardrums burst leaving a small trickle of blood dripping down his right ear onto his mattered brown greatcoat.

"Storm-Trooper cadet Carrus, Enginseer sir." Carrus spoke loud, only the closest scrutiny would have revealed that he shook with fear of the Teach-Priest.

"So you are responsible for this?" Carrus knew he had been responsible for stuff like spiking the oldest Storm-Trooper cadets rations with sleeping-drought and other stuff, but his chain of thoughts were interrupted when he saw the meltagun the Enginseer were cradling. Lucius had dampened his voice-box a bit now.

"Enginseer?" Carrus looked up at Lucius with a mix of both terror and surprise at his face. "This holy weapon pines for you." Carrus was literally knocked down by the force of which Lucius gave him the gun. He spat blood as he tried to get on the feet. Five Drill-Abbots saw what happened. They didn't see Lucius often, and this was indeed an unique occurrence, he was volunteering a weapon without agony to a cadet. None, but the most honored of the senior cadets were allowed to carry a weapon.

"Carry this on you at all times Carrus." Lucius quickly scurried through the hall, as Drill-Abbot Nabokov, a tall, lanky, grey eyed and haired, hair and beard were in a style reminiscent of R.E. Lee dressed in a greyish, thought colorful Commissarial garb, he hurried over to Carrus who obviously got injured.

"Are you okay cadet?" Nabokov's hoarse voice asked while he looked compassionate at Carrus who just nodded despite coughing blood. Nabokov knew he was lying, getting a hold of the injured Carrus, getting one of his arms over his shoulders.

"That was damn impressive. Few can face down Enginseer Lucius as calm as you boy." Nabokov rarely gave praise, Carrus just coughed out. "I wish I had ran, but he would likely have used that damn drill-" Carrus trailed off.

Another Drill-Abbot lifted Carrus' other arm over his shoulders picking up the meltagun with his free hand. They froze in terror as Lucius returned. "Carrus." Lucius pointed a finger straight at the chest of Carrus who had pinkish spittle dripping out of his mouth. "Tomorrow you shall report to the armory."

Carrus smiled as he passed out. Any punishment was better than the punishment that idiot Henan laid at him for no reason whatsoever. He knew Drill-Abbot Nabokov at least were on his side at times, the last thing he heard was Nabokov whispering to his colleague. "Why the hell is Carrus assigned to the Storm-Troopers? He would be much better as a Commissar or Arbiter."

Carrus of course didn't hear the two Drill-Abbots argue as the other meant Carrus was a horrible student, and one week later he awoke in a hospital-bed with Nabokov standing over him as he came through.

"I have good news young tiger." The old man croaked. "What is it Drill-Aboot Nabokov? *cough* Sorry, sir." Carrus were weak. his ribcage had been mainly broken when Lucius handed him the meltagun. "What the hell?" Carrus saw the meltagun lying on the small desk beside him.

"That's the present from Lucius, Carrus." Nabokov smiled over the shock and surprise on Carrus' face. "Hm, there went my theory of this being a dream. I ain't drafted over to the Commissar-cadets as well?" Carrus' head spun. He glanced confused over at Nabokov.

"Get dressed Storm-Trooper cadet. Enginseer Lucius awaits you in the armory." Nabokov made his voice harsh, he knew Carrus' days as a Storm-Trooper cadet were numbered, soon he would be a Commissar-cadet. Yet he couldn't hide the pride that Natrax had informed him that Commissar-General Nathan Harken was on the way. Nabokov grew up hearing about that Commissar, and Harken had personally recommended Carrus' entry to this honored Schola Progenium two years ago. He knew Carrus' fortunes were about to change for the better.

Within the hour Carrus with his meltagun were trailing through the armory. He used a flashlight as it was damn dimly lit down there. Half of the rods in the ceiling had flared out, the other half blinked. It was clinically clean down in the bunker were the weapons of Schola Freudakia were kept. Carrus looked around. "Where the hell were Lucius?" He thought.

The flashlight shone brightly in the dim darkness, at times Carrus shuddered as he recognized failed cadets who had been lobotomized and mind-scrubbed, they had been turned to monstrous servitors. That was the prize of failure at this most honorable Schola. Worse for Carrus, he was a bad Storm-Trooper cadet. Which meant he was likely to face such a fate. He shrugged off the negative thoughts continuing inside looking for the Enginseer.

"Acolyte?" Carrus finally stopped a non-lobotomized member down at the armory. He smiled regarding the plae face of the man, he thought, the brown greatcoat didn't exactly reveal features. "Take me to Enginseer Lucius at once, I'm Carrus he has ordered me down here." The guy looked at Carrus with a look that could kill, as Carrus interrupted him in maintaining the Machine Spirit of the lasgun laying on the table. Yet the name Carrus had been mentioned by Enginseer Lucius the man in charge of the weapons and ammunition here. He waved his hand and Carrus followed him through the dimly lit corridors with shelves full of weapons.

"There he is." The irritated tech-acolyte pointed at Enginseer Lucius who was busy repairing a Valkyrie under the hangar. He was muttering for himself as he changed some piping on it while doing a total overhaul of it's engines. It had been used hard, Lucius hated that. Those stupid human pilots always used the Valkyrie too hard when airlifting cadets of any kind to the jungle.

"Excuse me Enginseer." Carrus called out. Lucius didn't hear him, far too busy cleaning out filth from the engine. "EXCUSE ME SIR!!!" Carrus yelled at the top of his lungs. Now Lucius heard him. He let his arms holding him many meters up in the air of the hangar slowly lift him down. His red glare met the blue glare of Carrus who barely flinched.

"Ah yes, Carrus." Lucius' metallic voice called out, Carrus merely shifted a little looking back, he felt safe with the meltagun resting at his belly, hanging from straps over his shoulders. He smiled to his teacher. "What is my duties Enginseer?" Carrus smirked as he expected to be told something mundane like changing the failing rods in the ceiling or wash a Chimera.

"Go through 103 rows, take right, and maintain the meltaguns." Lucius went up to Carrus, and as Carrus blinked and shifted he conjured forth a key-card, it was one of the most powerful at the Schola Freudakia, Carrus had seen such a card only in the hand of Head-Missionary Natrax and other extremely high-ranking personnel. He recognized the AdMech symbol at it and a horrid picture of him splatted on it in the typical lack of style the Tech-Priests had.

"Sir I have no-" The stern look of Lucius got Carrus to trail off, this was more of a golden opportunity. "Ehm I meant thank you, Enginseer Lucius." Lucius merely looked as mad as ever back on Carrus. "Why are you still here? Get over to the meltaguns and maintain them." Carrus could hear the anger in the voice of Lucius as he was handed the key-card and a set of keys. He rapidly ran towards the section of the melta-weaponry as Lucius went back to maintaining the holy Machine Spirit of the Valkyrie.

Two years later. Carrus encountered the bully and rapist Storm-Trooper progeni Kettil in a hallway. Kettil was 19, would have been handsome but his disfigured face had been mangled horribly by a Commissar-cadet when he began there, that one met his end in the furnace. He was blond, blue eyes, tall and muscular, dressed in the sky-grey Storm-Trooper outfit. His eyes got narrow as he saw Carrus, he looked forward to kill the teenager for that throwing-knife to his shoulder a week ago. He drew closer to the grey-clad cadet. He knew Carrus wouldn't have the time raising his meltagun.

Grabbing a hidden knife he lunged at him. Carrus side-stepped, then Kettil felt a sting deep inside him. Everything slowed down, the pain was mind-numbling, he tried to gasp for air, instead blood filled his lungs, he tried to move, nothing, then pain, it hurt like hell.

"Now you die Kettil as you deserve. I'm only sorry I couldn't save Louise from you." Carrus spoke with barely controlled rage.

Kettil realized Carrus had stabbed him with hidden monofilament knives. He slumped back at the gray concrete the stairs were made from. He was gutted, worse he still lived. Now old man Nabokov appeared at the stairs.

Carrus thought he would face execution for certain now. He was covered in blood, Kettil was only mortally wounded not dead. He would speak up, Carrus looked up at the grey figure of Nabokov.

"Carrus, draw your laspistol, and execute failed cadet Kettil for attacking a Commissar-cadet." Nabokov sounded as stern as always. *Tchock* Carrus without hesitation, but with a damn big smile on his face drew his hidden laspistol and executed Kettil. He had gotten revenge for more than a few beatdowns over the years, not to mention the injuries he had suffered on the field of sports from Kettil.

Nabokov smiled glumly. Now he knew Henan would go openly for him Kettil were his favorite student (no wonder they were rumored to be father and son, though Kettil was the son of the sister of Henan), but that didn't matter, one year and the tumor inside him would kill him. At least he had protected Carrus from meeting his fate at the hands of Henan. Instead he was to be put in with the most dour of the students at Schola Freudakia, the students of the Commissariat. For Nabokov himself, he had served over forty years undistinguished as a Commissar. He had five grown kids and a deceased wife, for the last five he had been teaching budding Commissars despite his lack of frontline service.

"Commissar-Cadet Zachary Carrus, that was your first execution, now follow me." Nabokov saw Carrus simply nod smilingly then follow him. They trailed over to the quarters of the Commissar-cadets. Most of the Drill-Aboots and students rapidly got out of their way. They trailed all the way over to the central-hall of the Commissars.

Carrus saw the smile of Ionza, his lover, standing at the main hall. She looked so cute in the Commissar-garb she now were wearing, red quite tall peaked cap, nice greatcoat adorned with gold edges, black pants and combat boots, a dark purple coat hung over her shoulder and she was hefting the longlas over her shoulders with her hands resting on the gun behind her head. She smiled at him.

They had met at 13. She gave him his first kiss then as old Natrax told her Carrus wasn't likely to last long. Now they had a badly concealed relationship as Ionza were known to often spend time in Carrus' quarters with the meltaguns. He had a bed there as he hated sleeping with 200 other guys and blanket-parties aimed at him on Henan's behest had soured him.

Drill-Abbess McLandi discovered Ionza's ranged abilities when she fired at targets on the 500 meter range instead of the 100 meter-range as ordered. None of the Drillers ever take much note of her except the few times she was singled out for praise. So Ionza quietly just adjusted her sights at the 500 meter range which the snipers utilized.

The lasgun was of poor qulity, yet after a few shots she hit the targets. Drill-Abbess McLandi saw that. She was in charge of training the snipers. She was impressed as she thought that weapon was pretty much useless at ranges over 300 meters, yet the young woman laid there silently notching down the targets.

"Nice firing." McLandi smiled at Ionza who looked shocked back. "Relax I won't punish you for not following orders. Just get on your feet."

Ionza was rapidly on the feet. "Yes ma'am." She made a sharp salute to the experienced Drill-Abeess.

"Follow me." McLandi started walking while she hefted her longlas, they went on top of one of the grey concrete buildings. The weather was all fine.

"I have someone I would like you to kill, a tall, dark and handsome male of the commissar-cadets. It's the one with the flashy ear-ring, and with the girls flocking around him." McLandi spoke, Ionza merely nodded as she followed her.

McLandi handed Ionza her longlas. "See the cadets sitting in the shade of that large tree?"
"Yes ma'am." Ionza replied quickly while she settled down.
"Shoot h-." *Tchock* Ionza had already gotten the sights and range adjusted. With on shot the student leaning against the tree was shot right between his eyes.
"Permission to take out the rest." Ionza sat crouching, she let the excellent sight of the longlas pinpoint the position of a female cadet of the Storm-Troopers, she was pretty. "Granted" *Tchock* She was dead with a gaping hole in the back of her head.

Three more quickly followed, Ionza shot them so they died suffering for the next hours. McLandi was much impressed, she now knew she had a candidate for the honored 81st.

"I trust you didnt mind the twist of me shooting the other guys fatally?" Ionza smirked, she was confident. McLandi observed the snipings through her binoculars. She merely shook her head.

McLandi penned down an order. "Here, and go see Zachary Carrus in the armory, he will give you the weapon." She handed Ionza a quickly written order. "Thank you ma'am." Ionza made a sharp salute as she ran towards the armory.

She entered the armory, her order laid written in her pocket. She saw him. He had changed, he was still gaunt, but looked much stronger and taller now, she had grown herself to her full size, though a fair bit skinnier than at 19. Carrus were polishing an ordinary and well-functioning lasgun, in the brightly lit armory. Much had changed in the two years since Lucius appointed him Master of Arms.

He was wearing a burgundy-colored greatcoat, she was in her black sisterhood-garb. She heard him whistle an old tune as the lasgun were swiftly dissembled then he used his rug to carefully while sitting on a table leaning himself on the wall cleaned the gun, just as Lucius had impatiently taught him (the part with dissembling the gun, not whistling and carelessly sitting on the table while doing that).

Carrus saw Ionza before she saw him. He smiled at her, not too often did he get visited down there. Rapidly reassembling the lasgun he jumped down from the table. She walked calmly over to him.

"I got orders-" Ionza started to speak, Carrus just cut her off. "Really? Like I never heard that one before." He Looked at her with a teasing grin. Ionza rapidly gave him the order.

"Ah Drill-Abbess McLandi, she is okay." Carrus smiled at her as he read the note. "Hm longlas, you are a sniper? And must be a damn good one, not often do I get requests from Drillers to allow a student to wear weapons when they are sixteen. Infact I have been the only non-graduating student to be allowed to wear anything but a laspistol." Carrus looked skeptical at Ionza, it was clear he had reservations about the order.

"Well you can face down Drill-Abbess McLandi yourself." Ionza was annoyed, not only did this young man patronize her, but he also dared to brag. "Heyh I meant no harm, I merely how unusual such an order is." Carrus smiled and sounded disarmingly, then he paused a little, as if his glazed eyes recognized her. "You look familiar, have we met?" Ionza merely snickered. "Three years ago, you were cleaning a Chimera up. We talked briefly. I'm glad to see you still alive and kicking." Ionza smirked as she talked to him.

"Ah it was you." Carrus remembered full and well, he lit up in a wide smile. "Why did you kiss me?" He looked confused at her. "I don't know. It just happened." Ionza shrugged as she didn't have a good answer. She kissed him after old Natrax told her that he was unlikely to last long. She had just entered the Schola as a student, and they had walked past him scrubbing down the vehicle.

They walked over to the longlas storage, with Carrus unlocking and locking doors as they went past. Since he was taken under the protective wings of Lucius he had changed the armory as Lucius preferred to operate the more advanced equipment leaving it to Carrus to reorganize it as he saw fit. Now Skitarii sentries were stationed everywhere, only Carrus and Lucius had access to everything. Carrus had installed rooms where it before were just shelfs with racks of guns. Now green metal lockers had replaced the gun-holders. Many of the Drillers had objected due to their restricted access, but Lucius had permitted the changes and Natrax personally congratulated Carrus on them.

Carrus opened up a final crate, inside it laid a longlas in pieces. Quickly Carrus assembled the weapon, while talking. "This is the finest longlas of this Schola Progenium. Lovingly made by Lucius himself. Effective range 3 kilometers, shoots special hotshot ammunition as well as ordinary lasgun-bolts, weight less than 3 kilograms. It's a Lucius Mark II Longlas. Worth a fraking fortune." Ionza stared perplexed at the weapon.

Then Carrus held up the sight. "This one is designed at the forges of Caracus IV. Caracus Vision sight. It can see anything, infrared, ultraviolet, things I can't even name, can zoom so things being 3 kilometers away seems like they are standing next to you." He looked seriously into the eyes of Ionza as he spoke. "This is the finest longlas ever made, only the legendary snipers of the 81st. Freudakian has access to such a weapon." He held the longlas in his hands, before resting it's stock onto the ground. It was almost as tall as Ionza.

"And now it seems like you, a mere teenager also has it." Carrus sighed as he surrendered the fine weapon to her. "Yes it's the finest weapon I have ever seen." Ionza glanced perplexed on the fine longlas. It seemed like it was made for her. "You can keep the weapon as your own." Carrus swiftly penned down an order taking a notepad on the grey metallic desk which the Tech-Acolytes used to maintain the longlases, prongs and other tools for weapon-maintenance were hanging on the wall behind the desk easily accessable. He then forged the signature of Lucius on it. "Relax, Lucius never punishes me for forging his signatures." He smiled as he looked on the surprised girlish face with her mouth half-open. "He only grades my forgeries." Then she was handed the order.

A fine bottle of 42 year old Freudakian white wine came up to rest on the desk, along with two drinking glasses. "I hope you drink, whatcha name by the way?" Carrus glanced over at her as the wine-bottle were opened.

"Ehm yes I drink, my name is Michelle Ionza, you can call me Michelle if you want to. Your name then?" Ionza was a bit perplexed about Carrus suddenly sitting down at the desk and opening a fine bottle of wine. "Zachary Carrus. Call me Carrus, dad must have hated me." Carrus shrugged as he poured the wine into one of the glasses. He continued while handing Ionza the bottle. "Naming a kid Sack was a horrible idea, should be a law against it."

Ionza merely snickered as she poured the wine into the second glass. "Few here knew their parents me included. Cheers." Both lifted their glass and tasted the fine liquid inside. "What about Lucius? Doesn't he object to the alcohol in here?" Ionza looked a bit scared at Carrus as the Enginseer were quite the scary sight.

Smirking Carrus brought up fine Ciralixian lho-rods from his robe. He handed one to Ionza, then took one himself, using his laschisel to ignite both. "No problem, Lucius was the one ordering the wine. He caught me drinking some cheaper stuff a year ago. So I had to request the good stuff instead." Carrus drank deep of the glass, smiling as he sat there smoking.

"Emperor, I was certain he would kill me when he caught me drinking. Lucius was mad at me for drinking what he called Grox-spittle ordering me to get some Freudakian White 20 years or older." Ionza giggled as Carrus talked, while she sipped of the fine wine. "Luckily for me, no planet makes finer wine than Freudakia." He smiled. "Do you like it?" She smiled a broad smile as she nodded. Neither teenager knew what they started as they rapidly started to pour down wine. Next day they confused and with headaches woke up in the same bed.

Ionza smiled at Carrus as they stood in the Central-hall of the Schola-Commissars. She knew Henan the tormentor of Carrus would be dead soon. Carrus quickly dressed up in the flowing Commissar-garb.

"You are both to report to Head-Missionary Natrax." Nabokov looked at both cadets, with a smile on his face, he knew they would be effective. Ionza was gifted as a Sororita, just her fear of the Emperor made her less than willing to pray. Carrus he had tutored from time to time over the years. He would adapt.

Less than a week later, after a severe beatdown by Harken Henan just disappeared. There were little doubt who caused the disappearance as Carrus had given Henan quite the beating the day after for failing to salute him him in front of 20.000 cadets at the Schola Freudakia.

Chapter V

Editor's note: This Chapter is written in honor of my grandma who died today, 22.01.2012, one day short of being 93. Must you rest in peace Grandma.

Grace had traveled in advance of Carrus and Ionza, she had used the last week on Freudakia to round up the finest medical personnel at the entire planet. Personal Sister Hospitalliers for the ruling family accompanied her. They arrived on the shuttleport at Califrona the capital of Caralix Prius. It was a modern shuttleport with much traffic at both commercial and military levels. The weather was grey with clouds gathering, cold blistering winds swept the nearby region causing every sensible citizen to be inside unless it was pressing business to attend to.

Lined up against the grey concrete walls were the surprisingly disciplined Ciralixian PDF, but what caught Grace's attention was the hooded short crone standing in the center of the reception-party (she was far shorter than even Ionza standing no more than 1.5 meter tall). Her yellow-brown hood disguised her features. Yet Grace saw them clearly. She knew the old lady was dying, as everything about her displayed the obvious signs of having rejected the latest juvenat implants, the skin were greyish, the soft shivering and the smell. The crone was perched on a staff-sword. Only the armoured hands of her betrayed that she was indeed a warrior, Grace felt the mellow green eyes of her rest on her. Gazing at her black power armour covered in sigils, her powered sword dangled by her hip, her bolter clanked against her belly and most of all she felt unworded wonder about her shadow-cloak.

Grace went straight up to the crone, the generals and staff-members behind the crone was better dressed, yet not in charge. "Sister Joanna. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." She kneeled infront of the old nun, watching her wrinkly face clearly as she saw her.

"Sister Grace." The gnarled voice of Joanna hit Grace. "You must be a fine Hospitallier indeed, since Carrus has sent you for his mother." She regarded the other medical personnel, wondering how the hell Carrus could afford this. It wasn't like his dad Arturus would give him any money. Joanna had given the Bringer of Insanity to Harken when he visited Ciralix four years ago, with instructions to pass the weapon on to Carrus.

"Come child. Humor an old woman." Grace was swiftly on her feet following Joanna. They walked over to a huge window overlooking the buzzing shuttleport, with shuttles of any kind landing and taking off. "So how is Carrus? The truth please." Grace almost jumped due to the harshness in the voice of Joanna.

"Carrus is a fine Commissar, brave superior-" Grace began, but Joanna interrupted her. "If I wanted to hear that, I would have sat his his dataslate on vocalized. Cited for bravery a few times, saved the life of his soldiers. Blah, blah, blah. Not what I'm after. How is he as a human?" Joanna looked annoyed at Grace.

Joanna grabbed the shoulders of Grace. "This is important. For three years military and Arbitrators has been coming from Freudakia. I recognize a coup d'etat when I see one. So how is his ambition? His mood? How does he plan?" With a look of despair the old woman regarded the young. Her fear was obvious.

"Ambition....unbridled. Mood? Usually happy, but prone to anger." Grace felt nervous as she spoke. Joanna's face paled. "His planning is straight forward and aggressive. Though he often let his consort do the planning. It was her idea of him sending his friends to infiltrate the PDF and Arbites." Grace glanced worriedly on Joanna.

"Has anyone else seen through it? Sister Joanna?" Grace shifted as Joanna got the dataslate up with Michelle Ionza while shaking her head. "No young sister, Ionza's plan is water-tight, nobody will see this coming. You can relax I'm on your side Sister Grace."

Joanna glanced at the profile of Ionza, for once there weren't just the heroic crap there, this was balanced. There it stated her weakness for lho and wine, her mood-swings, it warned of her war-weariness and greed (she and Carrus already owned a few mines and two casinos due to their careers as bounty-hunters in the Freudakian capital Matrovska). Also it mentioned she was brave, uncompromising, an excellent marksman, her grade with a power sword was off the chart. Joanna smiled as she read the profile, thinking they left out her most important stat, schemer.

"This dataslate is unusual Sister Grace." The two Sororitas looked at it. "Whatcha mean? Sister Joanna?" Grace squirmed as she watched the profile of Ionza. She knew Natrax wrote honest profiles, but this was ludicrous. Ionza wasn't this unstable. "It speak the truth, not just glossing things over as they tend to do." Joanna let her unblinking green eyes peer right into the soul of Grace. "How do you think Carrus will handle an arranged marriage to Elanor Donal? Sister Grace."

"I-I was certain arranged marriage wasn't common here on Ciralix. Carrus told me you view that as abominations" Grace sounded confused, Joanna merely nodded. "And Elanor, Carrus mentioned her once. She murdered a servant with a spoon for being late with her supper at seven." Grace shifted worried thinking about how Carrus and Ionza would likely react with ultra-violence. "As for the reaction. Carrus reacts violently to almost everything, I can't envision him not executing whoever had facilitated that move with the bride to be."

Grace continued, letting gesturing and facial expressions show how serious she was. "The man solves psychiatric cases with fire. He carries a meltagun for the Emperor's sake, and has executed over 100 students for mental breakdowns due to knowledge of Elanor. I have no doubt whatsoever that she will die soon, plus I'm willing to end her misery myself if you allows Sister Joanna." Grace hefted her boltgun into her hands, with a loud clang she pulled the spring loading a bolt into the chamber showing to Sister Joanna she was more than willing to do the wet-work.

"You are not allowed that my child, Carrus will undoubtedly want that pleasure himself. Come now Sister Grace we have much to discuss my fellow Sororita." Joanna calmly laid her left hand on Grace's bolter pulled it down. "As for that wedding it was Arturus' idea, he is likely bringing down the thunder with that decision."

The two Sororitas headed toward the exit where a black Arbitrator Rhino were waiting on them. Grace recognized the two Arbites standing next to it, they had graduated last year, and were friendly with Carrus and Ionza. She didn't like them as she regarded them as simple thugs, nevertheless she happily saluted the two heavily armoured men, clad in their black Arbites uniforms with their helmets in their left hand and bolters slung behind their shoulders on the right.

The two Arbitrators and the brace of Sororitas got seated inside the Rhino. Grace recognized that they were more disciplined now, as they always tended to speak out of term much like Carrus and Ionza. Now they were escorts, they worked closely with Sister Joanna who had brokered no failures from them. Both had learned many harsh lessons from the old Sororita, who picked them out despite most of the Arbites being more qualified. They were close to her former charge and she liked to hear their stories about him when alone. Oddly enough she looked most of all forward to meet Ionza, the woman who tamed Carrus.

"Driver, take us to the Governor Palace." Joanna's voice rang clearly inside the cabin of the Rhino. She smiled sweetly at Grace. "You turned in lots of favors for this assignment Sister Grace. Not many junior Sororitas could have pulled this off. The friendship of Carrus and Ionza must mean lots to you." Grace blushed a bit as she nodded.

The Rhino sped through the streets of Califrona. It laid in the special official lane on the highway driving at breakneck speed. The city was well-lit, with high-rises and cathedrals. Spires pointed towards the sky. The Governor Palace was a large fortification with it's own soldiers. They were clad in a purplish armour with sky-blue overalls and helmets. The officers were golden cuirasses on their adorned armour. On the other side of the city was the Arbites-HQ, a large grey complex with autoturrets pointing everywhere, high gray walls surrounded both buildings. Califrona was busy with traffic from both regular cars and hover-cars for the more wealthy residents.

It had started raining. Heavy raindrops went down from the skies. The Rhino stopped infront of the black adamite gates infront of the Governor's Palace. Large guns peered from the walls near it. The palace was a small copy of the Emperor's Palace on Holy Terra.

The four occupants of the Rhino unloaded into the heavy rain. Joanna marched forward not even bothering to salute the two sentries standing infront of the gates inside the small guard-booths, black and cone-shaped. Across the street a huge cathedral loomed, with colorful windows in stark contrast to the Governor's Palace. It was grey, with mighty spires, the High Gothic construction was a masterpiece. Grace couldn't hide a small snicker as she thought about how much Carrus and Ionza would hate it.

*dat-dit-dat-dat-dit-dat-dot* "Code accepted, fingerprints, DNA-trace and eye-scan please." A mechanic voice almost screamed as Joanna printed in her personal access-code. She willingly let the scanner scan her eyes, take a saliva-test and take her fingerprint. *Tchock* Joanna jumped as she thought it was the laspistol of Carrus which discharged, it wasn't but with amazing speed a small door in the nearest adamite door slide open.

"Anything wrong Sister Grace?" Joanna smiled at the perplexed young woman, who looked a tad afraid back. "Oh the sound just reminded me of-" A hoarse laugh from Joanna cut Grace's words short. "Carrus' laspistol?" Grace merely nodded, and they trudged inside.

Their heavy boots clanked against the pavement in the front-yard of the Governor's Palace. They passed two more checkpoints with vigilant guards who slowly got more more heavily armoured, going away from the bright sentries outside the palace to guards in black carapace armour with helmets concealing most of their faces (smiliarily to the Arbites, but with skulls instead of the eagle). They wielded bolters unlike the lasgun-armed men at the front.

The scenery changes as they walked deeper inside the palace, at the outskirts was the grey corridors of concrete with few people but armed patrols showing any signs of life. The more inner palace was of white marble, with rich decorations, foundtains and fine trees lined parts, the corridors and halls was busy with scribes of all sorts, with acolytes behind them overburdened by stacks of paper, Tech-Priests and Astropaths scurried by. White-yellow columns lined the halls they entered. Grace was a bit overwhelmed as she saw people just running by, all giving her Joanna and the two Arbites with them a very wide berth.

They entered the inner palace. The security-tests took hours. Joanna caught a glimpse of Ryzan the gigantic body-guard of Arturus Carrus, clad in his black power armour. Her eyes just grew narrow as the four passed him, he stood with his hands on his hips, watching the two Arbites escorting the two Sororitas with cold disregard. Neither Sororita showed any sign of flinching, though both the Arbites shivered slightly as they saw the threatening Ryzan.

The hallways now entered were rich with golden-framed Planetary Governors of the past, the achievements were written on Grox-hide under the picts, the black alabaster made the halls seems sinister despite the picts on them with Planetary Governors and heroes of all sorts hanging there, with their deed written in High Gothic on Grox-hides. The lighting was bright from the black alabaster-roof, from time to time higher officials of any Imperial organization with retinues scurried hastily by, as did vigil and well-armed patrol-teams.

Eventually the adamite-steel door of the inner sanctuary for the Carrus-family was reached, armed guards escorted them through the nice gardens with fountains, several types of loving cared for fruit-bearing trees lined the lush fields, and from time to time they saw children of the royal family run by, playing some strange kind of tag dressed in the finest silk.

Finally the well-guarded room of where the ailing mother of Carrus lay dying was reached. Both the Arbites stepped back, more than happy to wait outside. Grance and Joanna ventured inside the white walled, though heavily decorated room with picts of Carrus as a young boy, and a few more recent of him showcasting him as the brave Commissar of today (though most were oddly honest as they showed him with a lit lho-rod). The room was filled by the scents of incense, and other sweet smells to hide the smell of the slowly rotting flesh of Alice Carrus the mother of Zachary Carrus and many of his siblings. Grace gasped as she saw Alice, were she should see a beautiful woman in her 50's she saw a wreck, the disease was not a disease, it was poisoning. Only Alice's will to see her son kept her alive. It was the easiest diagnostic Grace had ever sat.

Alice coffed hard, blood gushed from her nose and eyes, she looked straight at Grace with blood-red eyes. "So you are the one my youngest son has sent to keep me alive?" Grace squirmed and opened her mouth to answer. "Doesn't matter I will stay alive to he comes home. So go ahead Sororita, do whatever you must to keep me alive" The voice was putrid, gargling and showed strain. Nothing like the soft voice Carrus had told her about when he at sentimental moments reminisced about his quite happy childhood.

The next three months Grace with the best doctors worked frenetically of keeping Alice Carrus alive. They knew Carrus and Ionza would come home soon, yet time was running out. Alcie grew weaker for each day. Finally Grace heard the news a shuttle had landed. Carrus and Ionza had arrived on the shuttleport.

Hoss Carrus didn't look forward meeting his youngest brother as he stood with official representatives. Beside him stood the second oldest brother Joe, a known sadist, which oddly didn't worry about the prodigal son returning home. Both were dressed in the white uniforms befitting royalty, with purple sashes running across their abdomen, and unearned medals adorned their chests. Behind them stood their families, or in Joe's case his three concubines. Despite the chilly weather and rain they were dressed in scraps of leather of differencing color showing off their voluptuous attributes. Hoss' family looked more like royalty with his wife wore in a jade-green long dress, quite adequate for the ballrooms of Ciralix. Both brothers were a good tad taller and heavier than Carrus due to their spoiled living.

The grey shuttle landed through the mist. The main door swung open. Out of a ball of smoke came Carrus and Ionza. Carrus had been unusually silent and withdrawn during the past months, the fate of his mother weighed heavy on his shoulders. Also he had another duty to bear. Artutus was likely to be murdered by him in ice-cold fashion. The meltagun clanked against his armoured belly as he walked down the ramp with the love of his life right by his side. His mouth was shaping in a scowl while he smoked a fine lho-rod. Both had dressed in their blackish battle-attire carrying with them the usual battle-gear.

Ionza looked a tad worried as she walked next to Carrus down the ramp towards the brothers of Carrus and the other Imperial representatives. She smirked as usual hiding her own insecurity while the lho-rod were lit in the corner of her mouth. She had opened the holster of her pistols under her greatcoat as she were in no doubt about the course they were about to take.

They walked across the the tarmac on the shuttleport, past their many proxies who stood there in the honor-guard. Other commissars followed behind them. Most were their classmates, graduating two years early. They had given the couple an unusual wide berth due to the poor handling Carrus showed in handling his mother imminent death. Worry was also in the ranks as Ionza had briefed them that they would have to meet up in battle-gear, as she suspected an assassination-attempt were imminent.

The couple walked to stand infront of the older Carruses. Zachary Carrus looked with hate right into the eyes of his second oldest brother. Useless piece of slob he thought. Joe thought of his younger brother with mere disregard.

"Where is Martin McGrath?" Carrus spoke looking straight into his eyes. While he spat out the lho-rod.
"Dead." Joe answered his youngest brother without flinching.
"WHAT?!" Carrus yelled with a voice well used to inspire fear.
"He was killed with your horse-" Joe began calmly, Carrus interrupted him.
"WHAT THE HELL?? I-I MEAN WHO THE HELL DID THAT??!! Carrus screamed, damn irate. For everyone but Joe it was clear what would happen next. They had seen the telltale signs of when he was about to commit an execution due to provocation, yet Joe disregarded that.

"Your horse kicked my knee off, so I killed-" *Glack* In one smooth move Carrus drew the Bringer of Insanity, and beheaded his brother. Then he kicked the body so most of the blood sprayed right at the concubines, who screamed in abject terror. That didn't last long. Ionza quickly drew her laspistol and all three died before they had consumed the monstrosity of first Joe getting beheaded, then he was kicked back to them showering them with the gushing blood exploding from the body. The military staff froze in horror, the allies of Carrus drew their weapons pointing them at the few soldiers present not on his payroll.

Now his attention was diverted to his older brother Hoss, who shivered visibly. "Anything wrong big brother?" Carrus made his voice calm and soothing, little trace that he had just killed his own brother, and let his lover kill off the concubines.

"Y-you j-just killed Joe." Hoss quaked as he spoke, Carrus merely spat at the body of his older brother as he stepped over to Hoss while he wiped the blood from his sword with a handkerchief. "So I did, well I planned to kill him anyway." Carrus smiled as he ignited a new lho-rod with his laschisel. For Hoss the unsettling smile and innocent blue eyes of Carrus was far worse than the bloody deed just committed.

"Ain't you glad to see me?" Carrus gave his bulky brother a good hug. He smiled, Hoss looked horrified as he was being hugged by a Hive Tyrant, an Ork Warboss or a Greater Daemon, not his youngest brother. "O-Of course I-Im." He squirmed against the hard cerapace protecting the body of Carrus. The pain was unimaginable. He felt a rib pop before Carrus let him go.

"You are to go to Freudakia, and never return Hoss." Carrus told him while he smirked evily. "You are to run the brace of casinos me and Michelle owns there. Your claims to this throne are forfeit Hoss Harken." Carrus quickly produced a document from a pocket inside his greatcoat. "You will first sign in your original name Hoss Carrus, then you will sign in the name Hoss Harken." Carrus pointed at the dotted line. The wording like everything Carrus wrote were simple and interpretation couldn't be possible. Hoss rapidly signed.

"Wifey as well." Ionza pushed her forward, her alluring voice didn't hide her mild contempt for the woman. A gaunt, rather plain woman, she looked mortified as she was pushed between the two commissars. Hoss rapidly gave the document over to his wife, who rapidly signed. They knew Carrus showed them some small degree of mercy.

Unlike most of the family Hoss hadn't dismissed Carrus as a kid. He knew Carrus likely would take the throne, especially when news arrived that Carrus was a Cadet-Commissar when Carrus was 16, Hoss at that point were 21 and newly married. Now almost 4 years later he knew he was lucky to be alive. The document would protect them.

"Both signed. Good." Carrus took back the document. "Now you are to board the shuttle and the Heritage will take you back to Freudakia." He felt a slight regret as he saw Hoss and his family started to walk past them with his two kids infront of them, they looked so pale and scared.

"Hoss." Carrus called out. Hoss turned. "Another place, another time we would have been friends, instead of just brothers. You are a good man with basic values, that's why your head is still attached." Hoss smiled slightly though that disappeared with the next statement from Carrus. "Unfortunately you must die, I can't risk usurpers to my throne."

Carrus turned around as he heard the screams of the family getting gunned down, his smile had vanished from his face. He looked regretful, yet it had to be done. Hoss had been polite and such to him, but he was a dangerous schemer. Plus he couldn't risk Hoss warning his dad about certain things.

The party walked to a waiting Valkyrie. Both Ionza and Carrus smiled as they watched the familiar aircraft. They had over the past three years been flown in at over 300 raids by them, so that was indeed a design both loved. They rapidly with ten other commissars entered it. Ionza smacked her armoured glove against the wall signalling to the pilot for the take-off.

The aircraft quickly left the shuttleport, and a quick air-trip later it landed at the head-quarters of the Arbites. Standing in the familiar style of the Arbites with their fists on their hips. Infront of them the huge Arbites Provost Daniel Frost towered. He had held the position for less than a year. He smiled as he looked at the dismounting commissars. No wonder, Carrus and Ionza was old students. Never had he had a finer brace of detectives than those. He had long had a burning wish to make them into excellent Arbites, but Harken had interfered with that suggestion. Yet he was proud over being able to form them.

"So I see you arrived live and well." Frost spoke with his booming voice. He smiled where he stood in the heavy carapace, black with the golden Aquila-pauldron perched on his left shoulder. He towered over the two commissars who didn't exactly look large in this group. Beside him stood the two Sororitas Grace and Sister Joanna.

"Indeed, thank you Arbiter-Provost Frost." Carrus spoke, but everyone knew he was distracted by Sister Joanna which he immediately walked infront of and kneeled for showing his grace for his old mentor. He smiled the smile he had used many times when she were about to punish him for both small or large misdeeds. She looked worried back.

"Carrus, my boy, what have you done?" Her gnarled voice shattered through the air, she looked worried at her former charge. "Mother Joanna, I-I have erred." Carrus looked up at her with no small measure of nervousness. Everyone who knew him, had heard his many tales of what a disciplinarian she was, yet he had remained indomitable and untameable every step of the way in and out of classes. Yet here he was kneeling infront of her, like the many time she harshly punished him for minor things.

"What have you done?" Her question rang harsh. "I had to kill of Hoss and his family." Carrus quickly closed his eyes as the old woman slapped him hard. "I have always said you are too quick to sacrifice others my dear boy." The old Sororita leaned in with her gnarled greyish face next to the young face of the commissar. She looked at him with sternness.

"You are a fine young man Carrus." The old woman hugged him hard, and he returned the hug. "But I want to meet Michelle, Grace has told me so much about her. And your view about fear of the Emperor, well it was always hard to get you to say grace over the food so I suppose you have found your religion, which is good." She gave up the hug and grabbed his shoulders. "That you reek of lho, is a less pleasant new thing about you, but I never thought you would manage to keep away from that anyway." Carrus shrugged visibly under her gaze.

"Come to me child, in the Emperor's name (Grace did the Aquila as she said that) ain't you a beaut." Ionza walked over to her doing a graceful curtsy. "It's an honor to meet the holy woman that raised my consort." She smiled nervously, watching the dismay from Joanna over that she also reeked of lho and a heavy perfume Carrus liked her to wear.
The two women gave each other short hugs.

"You have much to do my two young commissars. Come with me." Joanna waved at them to follow her, Carrus sprang to his feet and started a quick conversation about the state of the planet with Provost Frost. Grace and Ionza exchanged quick hellos as well. Yet they had soon boarded the Rhinos which thundered through the street, the front ones even crashed into cars killing people in order for the convoy to get through.

"Sister Grace." Carrus sat between her and Ionza inside the black Arbites-Rhino. "How is mum?" She noted the trace of sadness in his voice. "Not good, she is all but at the last leg of her journey." Carrus waved dismissively. "Diagnose?" Swallowing heavily Grace spoke. "Poisoning. She have been poisoned, I-" Carrus interrupted her. "Typical. Well we all know what will happen next."

The escorts stopped in the inner-sanctuary of the Imperial Palace. Carrus smiled against the many guns bristling from the walls. Outside stood his honor-guard. Dressed in the black and purple of House Carrus. The two commissars did sharp salutes to them.

Triumvir (a fancy title for the head-bodyguard) Ryzan stood in front of them. He was wearing a black power armour, the helmet which few had seen him without, including Carrus towered over even the Arbites-Provost who tried to peer into his eyes. A style Frost oddly enough had learned from Carrus. His teeth gritted in anger as he saw the young commissar, yet he returned the salute as he worryingly peeked at the meltagun rested against the belly of the young man.

"She is in the west-wing right Master Ryzan?" Carrus spoke clearly. Ryzan merely nodded. "Well you and your men shall wait here, me and my honor-guard will go inside." Ryzan sweared low, now it would be more difficult. He saw Ionza with curiosity was walking behind him, while she looked at the power armour, no doubt what she was checking for, that longlas was a mean weapon if he had ever seen one, he shrugged slightly as he saw it dangle behind her right shoulder.

The honor-guard of Carrus with two Arbites in front quickly went through the aforementioned corridors of the palace. Even guards quickly went scarce as they saw they approach. The door-guards just ushered them through without incidents as the look of the faces of Carrus and Ionza told them they were itching for kills. Finally they all found the room where Carrus' mum were resting.

Carrus entered with Ionza. "Mum?" He looked straight at the wreck that once was his mother tears filled his eyes. Ionza heard him sob for the second time. The first had been when old Nabokov had died, he had strangled the man to death as a last request from the dying commissar. Carrus had been a wreck for weeks after that harrowing experience two years earlier. She shuddered thinking of the very real possibility of Carrus likely strangling his own mum to death as well. The room was full of sickly smelling perfume to cover the rotting smell of Alice.

At once Carrus was at the bed-side of Alice. He was mournful. She smiled at him, as he removed his heavy gloves stroking her chin. "So you finally are home my son come closer." Carrus leaned in. "Kill them all. And do me one last favor."

"Anything *SOB* Mum." Carrus' tears flowed down his cheeks.
"Strangle me, I've seen you." Alice had a surprising strength in her last words.

The young man hesitated for a few seconds. Then he got on his armoured gloves, and crushed the throat of his own mother. Now a mere husk. The two Sororitas silently entered the room as he started crying. Ionza was stroking his hair gently.

His head turned. He saw them through the blur. Then he saw her. "Bloody hell!" He strode to his feet. It was too late. The assassin easily sheered the powered blades into old Sister Joanna. Only Grace's instinctive parry had saved her life, but the blow was deflected to Joanna. With pure anger she sat after the assassin.

Carrus landed at the feet of Joanna. He knew the wounds were fatal. "I-I'm s-sorry-" *Gack* She died before finishing speaking. Carrus felt his world spin. Now both his mothers had died less than a minute apart. He closed his eyes for mere seconds, the life flashed before his eyes. Memories of how old Mother Joanna had harshly punished him when he missed anything with his laspistol at less than one hundred meters. The love and pride she gave him when he succeeded in anything, how she told him good-night-stories where she vividly in detail described the many heretics she had burned, when she thought him to read.

He rapidly shook his head and got up, and a few second later the steel-door to the room was smashed across the hallway embedding itself into the wall on the other side. Ironically destroying the image of Carrus with his quite many achievements already.

Meanwhile Ionza and Grace gave chase to the elusive assassin who moved with catlike grace, bouncing from column to column. Making a mockery of even their shooting. They saw no why she moved with such, most of the guards had already the bodies of the guards and Arbites who had tried to fight that thing littered the floor.

The two women had to navigate quickly as they had reason to fear that they running with pistols drawn for Ionza's case, bolt and las, and Grace chasing with her bolter, could be shot at by the Palace Guards.

Suddenly the Assassin doubled back. She hurled herself at Ionza, who managed to hit her slightly with her laspistol, yet she was fast enough to draw her power sword. Sparks flew as Ionza's slender epee met the more crude weapon of the Death Cult Assassin. All clad in the sync-glove to make he less visible. Didn't matter, Grace and Ionza saw her just fine.

"Why can't you just die?" Grace snarled as she stroke at the swift assassin. A quick foot to her face from the black-clad creature sent her reeling. The assassin tried once more to get away, but Grace had grown angry and she had spotted the enraging Carrus coming from behind with reinforcements.

Ionza's rendering attacks forced the assassin to concentrate on defending herself as she struck with a speed even the assassin had trouble matching with her power sword, and the assassin also had to be careful about the laspistol of her's. While Grace swiftly maneuvered behind the target. With one swift bodyslam the target was smashed into the white-yellow marble-wall, yet taken alive.

Frost had gathered more reinforcements they surged through the corridors with support from the commissars. Something invisible and murderous were loose in the hallways. Nobody were safe. He was nervous, as his claim to the job, nevermind his life was because of the hot-headed young commissar. Yet he had found the man despite his many faults, the man to follow. The nobles of this planet was worse than most criminals, so Carrus would shake things up, or die trying.

They surged through the various corridors, ordering the guards to lay down their weapons with well-planned surrounding-techniques. The Palace Guard was swiftly disarmed by the mottled force of Arbites and Commissars, who cooperated oddly well.

Carrus reached the three women. He sneered as he ripped of the mask of the assassin. "Elanor." He spat in her face. "I should have guessed as much." A brutal kick from him sent her flying several meters.

"I have spent the last ten years fantasizing about murdering you, and kicking you to death was my preferred fantasy." A new hard kick followed. The two girls with some commissars and Arbites followed at a distance. As Carrus with a new cruel kick made the woman barf blood as she was kicked hard into the wall.

Then to everyone's shock she drew two hidden weapons, with a speed even Carrus couldn't match she went for him. They tumbled to the floor. Only a savage head-butt to the teeth of Elanor from Carrus saved him a slashed throat. He threw her off, drawing the Bringer of Insanity alongside his laspistol as he get up.

Elanor was on him again. With inhuman speed and strength she could shrug off even the grievous wounds the Bringer of Insanity in Carrus' hands caused when he buried it deep inside her chest. The reply from her Carrus luckily dodged as the suddenly clawed hands of Elanor tore off a chunk of the marble-wall behind him. Her left arm was then chopped off by Carrus. The two women with the other soldiers quickly darted towards Carrus and Elanor.

"Demonspawn! I should have known! All the signs were there." Carrus kicked the woman away. She snarled back with a voice that got the hairs of everyone present to stand, just as much as it filled them with enrapture. "I'M FAR MORE THAN JUST A REGULAR DAEMON MY-" Carrus discarded his laspistol bringing his melta to bear as the daemon had been kicked off to a distance were he could safely bring it up, and despite the demon charging in at inhuman speed, his aim was true, and Elanor hit the ground in boiling organic goo. He smiled, as he got up from the ruined wall. His mothers had been avenged.

Chapter VI


Carrus moved away from the smoking corpse of Elanor. For everyone present except for Ionza and Grace he was the dashing warrior and fearless commissar who had saved the day yet again. His smile was hollow, his eyes were sad. He felt no glory despite his feat. He desired peace, yet harvested only war and the violence he detested so much.

Sorrow for his two mothers also gripped his heart. As did the regret that he had ordered Hoss and his family dead. That wasn't strictly necessary, yet he had ordered the death of them. Three innocent children were dead, none were over ten. That was on his hands.

He shambled over to Ionza, who simply embraced him with their closest friends standing closest to them. "One more day." Carrus moaned.
"What?" Ionza stroke his back as she answered.
"One more day and Mother Joanna would have been 793 years old." Carrus still held his sword and melta. He broke the embrace, and looked at the assembled soldiers. His vision was blurry due to tears, so he stuck his left glove and the the sword under his right arm and wiped away the tears.

Ionza looked at him, he had to steel himself now. She ignited a lho-rod. Nearby she saw Grace frown as she lit it. The hall was full of people, commissars and Arbites walked past pushing lines of Palace Guards on the direction of Frost. He walked over to Carrus and Ionza.

"The Imperial Palace is under our total control Commissar Carrus and Commissar Ionza." He did a spotless salute, they merely nodded in return.
"Yes it seems that way Provost Frost." Ionza answered as Carrus stood in stunned silence digesting the latest moments while commissars and Arbites clapped his shoulder telling him "Great job.". He wanted to just scream.

Grace went up to Carrus, she saw his sorrow. "Are you okay Commissar Carrus?" She waved away the nearby officers of the Imperial law. He merely nodded, her presence calmed him down while Ionza and Frost discussed what to do with the prisoners.

The hall smelled oddly sweet like very expensive perfume, Carrus, Grace and Ionza were immediately on high-alert. The two women immediately drew their weapons. Carrus shook his head hard, and his expression hardened from one of despair to one of anger. Everyone else also drew their weapons. When either of those three had weapons at the ready and steeled themselves to pounce, then something was afoot. That was a well-known lesson on the Schola Freudakia even their enemies followed. So chainswords, bolters, power mauls, laspistols, power swords and shotguns were all drawn. The sound of guns getting cocked with bullets, and chainswords getting started resounded in the room.

Carrus went forth, his melta was leveled in a way he could easily wield it at any comers while his sword were held in a flawless defensive posture. Following him was Frost, Simpson, Grace and others of the great soldiers assembled in the hall in similar postures if they had pistol and close-combat weapons, having longer guns, bayonets had been mounted. They quickly made their way towards a small chapel located in the middle of the hall. Grey-white marble walls, green grass and lush trees were present, in the background odd sounds of birds were calling through hidden speakers. There were also small pavilions there made of white wood. The trees and grass swayed, yet no wind were felt. Ionza drew her longlas after she had scaled a small balcony made of yellow-white marble, she settled down, most of the hall was in plain view for her. The pelt concealed her almost immediately.

The chapel suddenly exploded. Out charged a monstrosity of horrible proportions. Over three times the height of a human, hugely muscular, six flawless breasts adorned it's torso, the face was a mixture of the face Carrus, Ionza and Grace had seen of Linda (the wife of Harken), Elanor and what looked like a goat, the legs were like those of a goat. The skin was perfectly palish pink, the eyes of the Daemon was of golden color, with mischief and terror playing on the almost perfect, yet horrible face of the daemon, filling mortals with endless fear and desire.

Carrus reacted first. His meltagun hissed as the Daemon sped towards him with a speed unmatched by any human. The Daemon laughed at the blast which sizzled against her magical shileding, and sent forth something that smelled extremely arousing. Four Arbitrators near Carrus exploded in colorful lights, while they screamed in unnamed pain.

"SO HAVE I COME FOR YOU MORTAL, I WILL SAVOR YOUR SWEET, SWEET SOULS." The daemonic voice of Elan'Lindras was terrible yet irresistible for all that heard it. Only the fear most of the people present had for the Emperor made sure they didn't run away from the Daemon. It also didn't hurt that Carrus fearlessly was now taking aim, with disgust and hatred.

"REALLY??!" Carrus fired his gun again which yet again sizzled out against the magical shielding, now the others also began firing at her, her magical shielding slowly began to crack as bolters and las-shots sizzled against the shileding, some broke through but only left flesh-wounds on her. "FRAK YOU!!! MY SOUL IS NOT FOR SALE!!! AND CERTAINLY NOT TO AN ABOMINATION AS YOU ELANOR!!!!" Carrus snarled as more commissars nearby exploded in colorful and aesthetically pleasing explosions due to the magic of Elan'Lindras. She roared back. "MY NAME IS ELAN'LINDRAS, NOT ELANOR!!!"

"Honestly dear, I don't give a frak about what you call yourself." Carrus called out with an odd calmness as another blast from his meltagun dissipated before the Daemon. "For me you are scum, Daemon or preferably banished soon."

"DEFENDERS OF THE IMPERIUM TO ARMS!!! THIS DAY IS A GREAT ONE, BECAUSE TODAY WE SHALL KILL OURSELVES A DAEMON AND WITH DUE CAUSE CALL US DAEMON-SLAYERS!!!" The booming voice of Frost rang out as he charged towards Elan'Lindras. He didn't reach her, instead he was turned into a twisted Chaos Spawn, which Carrus executed on the spot. Melting down his former mentor to boiling biological goo.

Elan'Lindras charged into the line of the Imperial defenders, bodies got maimed as her claws tore through the chainswords and Stormshields of the soldiers smashing chunks of former men and women to pieces while showering their comrades in their blood and guts. Yet the first real damage was inflicted by Ionza's longlas pinpointing the eyes of Elan'Lindras. She howled in nameless rage as she lashed at Carrus who used every trick in the book plus some more in order to block and dodge the swift and brutal attacks while brave men and women fell upon the Daemon with power mauls and chainswords.

The Daemon finally managed to kick Carrus which a bright flash of light protected (no doubt the man's Rosarius), but not before his sword actually laid her thigh bare to the bone. Carrus merely was kicked 8 meters away, now she had a mass of bodies of quite able fighters infront of her. Even she had to respect the power mauls of the Arbitrators, but for everyone landing a blow on her, twenty died as the claws of the Daemon slashed out in impossible directions dismembering, beheading and eviscerating at every turn while it fed on the torment from the pain endured by the commissars and Arbiters who still kept coming on.

The blackish uniforms and armour of both types of Imperial officers gleamed with loving care as they charged forward, yet, that care counted for nothing as even power armour was worthless whenever Elan'Lindras got her hands on them. The two black talons of her teared through the armour like it was made of paper. With one flawless swipe twelve commissars and arbitrators lost their legs, landing screaming on the grass with their life-force gushing out of their stumps which once contained the cream of the fighters of the Imperium of Mankind, now they died of blood-loss and nobody could help them. Other were kicked away turning the lovingly made wooden chapels to sharp sticks of wood were more than one officer of the Imperium met his end getting impaled on the wood.

Carrus landed hard, smashing into a wall, yet he quickly recovered. "TODAY YOU DIE FOUL FRAKKING THING!!" He snarled while he spat blood, surging towards the Daemon not caring that an Arbitrator was caught in his line of fire killing the man as well as hitting the Daemon. Ionza's longlas concentrated on the face of the creature which oozed of daemonic ichor as she had blinded it so it only could use it's witch-sight in order to locate the prey.

Eighteen more of the Imperial officers died screaming in a single swipe from Elan'Lindras' claws as she sheered through their armour disemboweling them with blood spraying out in twisted and beautiful fashion, two more were grabbed and squeezed to death by her. Cal Simpson charged in with his bolt-shells bouncing harmlessly off her thick hide. She swiped after him, he dodged her and stabbed deep into her groin with his power sword getting showered by her ichor, but he was too close. He suffered an undignified death as she trampled him, sending his head flying so fast it killed a commissar who bravely fired her laspistol at her as she charged in when the skull of Simpson met the nose of the female smashing through to her brain. She merely slipped back and was dead before she landed with her beautiful face now totally caved in.

"AAAAH SO MUCH LIFE-FORCE, SO MUCH SUFFERING!!! COME ON FIGHT ME!!! I WANT YOU TO HIT ME!!! HIT ME HARD!!" The mad Daemon howled as it devoured an Arbitrator who had really seen too much, savoring the sweet and gory release of his soul as she opened the torso up, shearing through the power armour like it was paper. Then she dropped the still alive man just before Carrus who stomped on the man's heart, killing him, not exactly savoring the irony of how he laid spread in an aquila on the green lush grass with his uniform and armour all opened up.

Tossing aside several commissars who were just dismembered and beheaded by her in extremely horrid ways causing slow deaths the Daemon lunged at Carrus who fought a defensive battle, his sword was what she could sense, and that was just darkness for her. She tried to utilize her unholy magic at him. Nothing happened, the magic just flickered away as Carrus managed to cleave through one of her pincers. He suffered a nasty cut to his left chin in the process.

Meanwhile Grace ran for her life through the corridors. She stopped as she saw the power armoured guards under Master Ryzan. They had removed their helmets. Their faces were deformed due to age and mutation. They noticed her. They stood outside the room were Carrus had mere minutes earlier strangled his mother to death. They were discussing the steel door embedded in the marble-wall.

"YOU MUST HELP!!! DAEMON!! IT'S A DAEMON LOOSE!!!" Grace exclaimed. She suddenly knew why she had fled. It was not the fear of the Daemon it was to prevent those mutants going rouge once more. She calmed down, breathed more easily as she with confidence strode into their midst. The Seer a man called Fenrek spoke first.
"I can feel the unholy presence." His voice were soft and soothing the magic allure of him was not hidden. "Maybe my dreams about us dying for Carrus wasn't the nightmares I interpreted it to be." He shifted drawing both his bolt pistol as well as his force sword.
"How can you be so sure?" Ryzan spoke looking skeptically at Grace.

"Do you dare questioning a Sister Hospitallier about lying?" Grace filled herself with all her holy fury, her eyes lit up with the pure anger only a true Sororita could summon. "You want redemption for you ancient treachery? Well this it is!! Either you follow me to the Daemon and saves Carrus or you live and forever strays from the light." She looked at them certain she would be put down now, yet she had given it a good try. The trump-card was cast, Carrus figured out as a kid the men of Ryzan were mutants and likely renegades.

"I'd say she's right." The Seer spoke again, and placed himself in a defensive posture infront of the young Sororita. "She speaks the truth. This is our redemption." Raising his voice quite a bit he roared. "Who is with me. It's our time for glory and death!!!" Most of the mutated humans echoed the sentiment. Yet Ryzan remained silent. He remembered every time he was gonna kill Carrus, but instead he taught him a new skill.

"Yes, onward." Ryzan finally after what Grace felt like took ages finally spoke as he kneeled infront of her. Fenrek followed suit, and soon all ten of them kneeled in front of her. She then prayed. "Emperor, noble father. Please absolve these men for their sins and forgive them their sins from the past."

"NOW FOLLOW ME THE TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!" Grace roared, and started running back towards where Carrus and Ionza were fighting a losing battle. Over two hundred men had died. They saw Ionza jumping down from the balcony drawing her power sword leaving her longlas behind as Carrus desperately dodged another attack which scattered more bodies. She grabbed a horn stabbing Elan'Lindras over and over again in the face which by this time was a mangled piece of gore while she shouted. "DIE!!! DIE!! WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!!" Then she was tossed off by the Daemon.

Ionza landed hard on the grass, and passed out. Yet Carrus even surrounded by a pile of dismembered and eviscerated bodies fought on. He was exhausted, yet the anger and hate he had for Elanor made sure he always struck with fury draining the Daemon slowly but surely as the Bringer of Insanity made sure she couldn't use her foul magic at all. He managed to chop off her left arm using the same spin he had used in the earlier duel. His uniform was messy of blood and guts from his friends who bravely died not even flinching over the cruel deaths they suffered as they continued to slam into Elan'Lindras, shoot at her with bolters and lasguns which did almost no damage to her.

Elan'Lindras howled in anger and pain as she really savored the fight she had with Carrus. Yet her hits only sent him flying, the Rosarius shone brightly as every blow she made to him was dampened. "HAHAHA THIS TRULY IS A BATTLE FOR-" A meltablast stopped the mouth of her. "You are not permitted to speak DAEMON!" Carrus retorted as he backed away from her having seen the onrushing Space Marines behind him.

"THIS IT IS!!! CHARGE THE BEAST FOR THE EMPEROR AND CARRUS!!!" Ryzan howled, the surprise on the face of Carrus was priceless as he doubled back expecting the Space Marines to actually come for him. The two with Heavy Bolters lit up with their shells smashing into the body of Elan'Lindras. Ryzan and five more formed up a half-circle around Carrus with bolt pistols and powered weapons drawn. Ferek shot lighting towards the Daemon sending it flying for a change with a howl of terror.

Ryzan followed suit, and even through his savage howl stalled the Daemon momentarily and the recovered Ionza shooting off the last talon of the Daemon with her bolt pistol loaded with blessed bolts which Grace had convinced her to take along, while the ichor of the Daemon sprayed the trees behind her. That didn't matter much as her magic which were far stronger than Fenrek's just barbequed the mutated humans with the Heavy Bolters leaving just twisted spots of goo in the grass corrupting everything nearby. Ryzan tore a good opening in the belly of Elan'Lindras before she grabbed him and rust ripped him in two.

The six remaining mutants howled savage challenges as they charged her while Carrus rapidly reloaded his meltagun covering behind the ruined chapel. "Carrus? Where are you? Come out and play!" The Daemon imitated the voice of Ionza as it charged against them while bolt-shells bounced off her.

The mutants swung at Elan'Lindras with their combat-knives and some had powered weapons that caused horrendous injuries weakening her torso as they jammed in their knives and swords. A power fist from one of them cracked and pulverized the left thigh of the Daemon completely as the black armoured Space Marine with the dark face and glowing eyes landed a bone-crushing hit on the Daemon. A quick swipe by a talon cleaved him clean in two from head to groin.

Another mutant with a power sword and bolt pistol was simply just beheaded with Elan'Lindras' talon smashing through the raised power sword he intended to block the attack with. The rest with boltguns steadfastly rammed home bolt-shell after bolt-shell into her body, going down one by one as they moved around her, protecting Carrus while trying to keep the Daemon at distance while her magic turned one of them into a twisted Spawn of Chaos who took out two more of their number in horrid ways where daemonic fire consumed them from within the powered armour.

Yet one by one their numbers diminished, one were simply bodyslammed into the marble-wall of the hall, his power armour was crushed and he exploded in a torrent of blood and guts as he cut through the wall into the plaststeel of the fortress tearing a huge gash in the wall at the spot. Others were consumed by foul magic which burned them from the inside where their desire to live and fight doomed them to the hell of the Prince of Pleasure leaving just twisted spots of sweet smelling perfume on the grass.

Elan'Lindras wasn't amused anymore. She had to act fast. Carrus inflicted fatal damage on her every time he hit her with his reloaded melta, and the sword he carried hurt just to be around. Also there was the mutated seer to deal with. They had spread out, with Grace and Fenrek standing together shooting at her with their bolters. The shells from the young nun hurt really bad. Carrus were covering in the ruins taking pot-shots at her which really messed her up as her left shoulder melted away, and Ionza was on the other side, with her bolt pistol concentrating her fire on the heart-region as well, every bolt hit exploding deep inside her. All were considerable threats for her continued existence.

She snarled as she hurled herself towards Grace, who sure would have died hadn't Fenrek interfered. He slung Grace aside, taking on the huge Daemon and even managed temporarily wrestle down the creature slamming her back against his armoured knee before he was barbequed in a blinding light. Grace screamed a holy curse as she stabbed the Daemon who reeled back badly hurt as her right thigh got a blessed blade sheering right through it.

Then Carrus leapt out from cover. "Die Daemon!! Die from my fire and silver" He exclaimed as he dodged the savage response of Elan'Lindras firing his melta at where he thought the heart was, then he followed the jump with the strength of rage and vengeance as his sword stretched out and it penetrated right into the heart. Elan'Lindras was simply banished into the warp as Carrus awkwardly landed in the rubble cursing as he dislocated his shoulder.

He slowly got up, Grace came up next to him. Carrus winced in pain. "Stay still." He grunted as she set his shoulder straight. "You fled." His voice were grim, his facial expression even grimmer. He looked at her with the gaze of a commissar. He began raising his meltagun at her.

"NO YOU SHALLNOT!!!" Ionza screeched, then bodyslammed Carrus so he missed, looking straight at Grace she yelled. "RUN!!" She struggled with the far stronger Carrus as he tried to fish up his laspistol from his holster. This was not Ionza's way of fighting, and Carrus was merciless in any combat. Grace looked shocked at them, until Carrus let loose a shot with the laspistol which her Rosarius negated in a blink. Once more she turned and ran as Ionza managed through a lucky strike to temporarily knock out Carrus.

The park inside the Imperial Palace on Freudakia was a ruin. Still the bird-songs rang over the speakers there, still the grass was there feeling natural, it was not. The lighting came from an artificially produced sun hanging in the hall sending down gentle rays of light to the broken paradise. The screams of the dying filled the air. Except for Carrus, Ionza and Grace, only one commissar-cadet had survived the battle with Elan'Lindras as she took her laschisel and with great pain stemmed the blood from her arm while she screamed in abject pain. It had been chopped off late in the fight as she clumsily attacked the demon, and the talon had just lashed out and hit her arm while it darted towards Grace and Fenrek tossing her aside.

The rest had been torn to bloody pieces, and only a handful was still alive lying with broken and shattered bodies in intense agony spread around the hall between the rubble left by wooden pavilions and the chapel who had exploded, if they weren't impaled on the shattered remains of the beams that once made up nice white wooden pavilions where the Carrus-family had used the place for a playground for their kids, yet now dead commissars and arbitrators hanged impaled on the remains of the pavilions, the green grass was colored brown-red. The hall stank of blood. The fine white marble on the wall were covered in blood, guts and war-gear from fallen officers of the Imperium of Mankind. Some places dead Arbitrators had been slammed into the wall, heads crushed like melons.

The two commissars Higgings and Mack returned from their own fighting. They had come from the other side after meeting stiff resistance from the Palace Guards of the Carrus-family, despite suffering losses to the squads they led they eventually succeeded and went back to fetch Grace for her to treat the injured. They had come from the other side of the hall in their blackish commissarial garb, all bloodied from taking out foes at close range while the rest fought the demon, they killed themselves a few Royal Guards. Their uniforms were more colorful that Carrus' and Ionza's but not by much as they had the traditional breastplates of metal which Carrus himself had gifted them with nice golden aquilas on the front matching their tall red peaked caps who also had an aquila cresting it and they wore the traditional golden long epaulettes where Carrus' and Ionza's were blackish and short (actually both had fashioned their epaulettes to conceal hidden throwing knives). They came too late to affect the fighting in any way as they had just seen Carrus banish the Daemon, then brawl with Ionza.

"We better check for survivors." The deep voice of Mack rang out as he scoured the landscape of broken bodies looking for life. Higgins merely nodded while he reloaded his bolt pistol, neither saw any life in the broken bodies they got over to. Most they didn't even look at to decide their state of living as entrails and inner part of human bodies lay everywhere in odd circular patterns crested by a half-moon, while a smaller one pointed the other way. To their disgust they stepped into the innards of an Arbitrator. He screamed in pain. Almost torn inside out. Higgins did the merciful thing stomping on the man's exposed heart killing him with blood spraying beneath the young man as the Arbitrator expired.

Ionza and Grace ran off. Carrus had been knocked out by a surprise-punch by Ionza. They saw him lay in a sort of heap next to a broken tree while Ionza thundered off after Grace down the hallway on the other side of the hall. Mack and Higgins hurried towards Carrus who awoke, slowly getting to a kneeling position where he coffed up a substantial amount of blood. He spotted the two onrushing commissars, and looked straight into the dead face of a friends, Carrus merely turned the decapitated head around while he holstered his laspistol. The glance in the eyes of Carrus got both commissars to stop in the tracks by the ruined chapel.

"Concentrate on commissar Parker boys." Carrus got up while pointing at Angelica Parker, who sat slumped against the wall, one underarm poorer. She was a slight girl, even more so than Ionza, almost white blonde hair, and a totally disfigured face after a Feral Ork had bitten off her face when he survived five laspistol-shots and even her chainsword digging deep inside him, Carrus killed it seconds later splitting it in half from crouch to head with his sword, which routed the Ork host. She had later many problems with Ionza due to her thinking that a woman should try to look her best, no doubt with Carrus onboard as well. Ionza even once when drunk dragged Parker to the infirmary and ordered the doctors to piece her together at gunpoint, only the intervention of Grace prevented the operation as she advocated that she should decide for herself, also she liked Parker's vow of chastity which neither Carrus nor Ionza had much time for.

"Yes sir." The reply came almost instantaneously from both of them. "And please in the future try to look for real survivors... I will take out the remaining that can't be saved" Carrus looked around while he shook like a dog ridding himself of blood and guts which stuck to him while he shambled over to his powerful weapons who laid where Ionza had bodyslammed him a few meters away. He saw how both of them rushed over to Parker, starting to help her.

Ionza caught up with Grace just outside the room where Carrus in rage had managed to smash the steel-door from it hinges, and into the wall on the other side. "Wow, he is strong." Grace had stopped looking in awe at the door in the wall. Ionza panted and then coffed up blood, getting forced to her knees. "I said run not-" She coffed heavily more blood came through her mouth and nose which she wiped away. Dammit!" She shook her head violently. "Please stop running, Carrus won't kill you." Ionza was still on her knees, her hands fondled inside her greatcoat for the lho-case.

Grace kneeled infront of Ionza, removing the case from her pocket. "You are in no state to smoke lho now Sister-Commissar." She tossed the cigar-case down the hallway, it clanked a few times spilling the contents. Then arose dragging Ionza onto her feet as well. "You deserted-" A harsh glare from Grace stopped Ionza in her tracks as Grace simply without effort just lifted her up, cradling her in her arms like she was a toddler. "I got help, very much needed help." The voice of Grace was clear, as was her face and eyes while Ionza squirmed a bit about being carried in the strong arms of Grace, but she knew it was futile as she had even more raw strength than Harken as she was carried back towards the hall.

Higgins and Mack was busy meanwhile giving first-aid to Parker, who were only half-conscious while Carrus went around in the hall checking for life-signs from the fallen warriors in the hall. From time to time he whispered, while kneeling: "Go to the Emperor in peace, I absolve you of your sins." Then came the familiar *Tchock!* And yet another true servant of the Imperium of Mankind had been mercy-killed by him. Still they were busy keeping the woman awake as she was weak from blood-loss.

Grace entered the hall carrying Ionza in her arms. Carrus immediately ran to her, she could see he was far more injured than his speed showed as the demon had inflicted serious damage to him, even as he skillfully jumped a three meter gap created by a fallen statue of his dad. She gently laid down Ionza on the grass looking Carrus straight in the eye. "I ran because I had to tell your bodyguards who planned to kill you." Her eyes blazed with fire as Carrus stopped in his tracks, regarding her. "I ran again because I had to get a proper medi-kit, and some much needed help." Grace got up and looked angrily at Carrus for the pot-shot he had taken at her.

Carrus began to draw his sword, but Grace slammed into him, pinning him to the wall. "Look Commissar Carrus, I have a life to save, you are hurt. Let me save that life, then I can attend your injuries." The swipe made Carrus coff up more blood as he was slammed into the wall, he wiggled as she grabbed his throat with her gauntlet, bringing him to her face, while her other hand was holding his right hand hindering it going for the sword. "Don't you ever mistake me for a coward ever again Commissar. Ionza's mate or not-" "Enough of this madness!" Ionza screamed as she stormed up to her feet, sword and monofilament-knife had with lightening speed appeared in her hands. The much smaller woman broke the stranglehold Grace had on Carrus sending him slumping to the floor. Grace was cast a meter back, Carrus had a monofilament-knife to his throat, while Grace felt the powered sword of her best friend at her.

"Carrus, Grace didn't flee." Ionza looked at Carrus with a tense expression, it was plain to see that the situation pained her, everything about it ached, she was not in good shape herself as a concealed coff with resulting blood showed which she spat out. "And wipe your face boy, a commissar doesn't try to look like a vampire of a pict-drama." She held her monofilament-knife in place to he nodded, then he removed a glove and wiped his face, then she turned more over to Grace. Glaring into her eyes, while towering over the Sororita sword in hand. "Look you are my bestest friend in the whole universe Grace, but please don't make me decide between you and the love of my life." Grace nodded when Ionza scraped her throat with her sword, she saw the tears dripping down the cheeks of Ionza. "Go fetch your medi-kit." Ionza relented her pressure on Grace, while she nodded and sheathed her sword and knife grinning, then she kneeled infront of Carrus, got out a napkin and started wiping blood and gore off his face holding him gently as she had never seen him this vulnerable before while he smiled back tired at her.

Grace rapidly sped over to Parker, she slid across the lawn soggy with blood and mud splattering as she landed soiling the uniforms of the two commissars , the woman was about to expire, she got her syringes into her, quickly engaging her computer at her arm pushing codes analyzing the woman's DNA-data and health while she was saving her life yet again, pushing blood-plasma into her bloodstream, for once she even sedated her to dampen the strain on the body as she treated the stump of her arm, she knew already Ionza would made sure Carrus wouldn't foot that bill. While Mack and Higgins removed their greatcoats and packed Parker in with them keeping her warm. "Mack run to the nearest voxer, and vox for reinforcements." Grace smiled as she told him letting her green eyes meet with his brown. He did a sharp salute before running off.

Higgins and Mack had fought bravely for the entrance of the Inner Palace, only the work of the sniper Jatme made sure the Heavy Bolter-teams of the Palace Guards fell silent, despite that over twelve commissars and Arbitrators had been taken out by the Heavy Bolters with them lying in unidentifiable heaps of blood, guts, armour and weaponry all over the hallway where the Heavy Bolters had crested the defense of the ball-room. They had gone in close with the remaining Arbiters fighting desperate room to room battles with the few remaining and not surrendering Place Guards, many more of the Arbites had been cut down by the skilled inner-guards, yet they were numerous enough to overwhelm them, and the ones taught by Harken never were bad in close-combat. If they got that far, many had been taken out by shotguns and bolters at shorter ranges. Yet they was victorious at long last.

Jatme was a fine sniper plus a fast friend of Ionza as her assigned adjutant by McLandi, diminutive, shapely, dark-skinned woman, with burning brown eyes, black short hair cut in a bob, dressed in a greenish sniper garb with no armour and her Shadow-Tiger-pelt wrapped tightly around her as she entered the hall taking stock of the carnage as she entered it with her longlas at the ready slowly walking into the room. She smiled a tad as she spotted her lover Higgins helping Grace about 50 meters away despite the blood mess. He smiled back at the small woman, as Grace stabilized Parker, and told him to get lost. She was in a foul mood. Carrus had almost killed her for perceived cowardice, which showed in her harsh instructions to the commissars trying to save Parker.

She headed over for Carrus and Ionza. Suddenly a hand grabbed her foot when she walked over a ruined pavilion, she looked down it was Ryzan. Mortally injured, sliced in half. Yet by some miracle by the Emperor he was still clutching to life. "Carrus, Michelle!!" Her voice rang out amongst the ruins. The couple was in the middle of a kiss when Grace called out. "Jatme, guard the entrance, don't let anyone through, shoot them if need be." Grace pointed towards the entrance about 100 meters away. "Higgins you are to return to your soldiers, and make sure none of them returns here." Jatme rapidly found herself an defensive position in the rubble of Carrus' first fight with the demon, while Higgins returned to his men.

Both Carrus and Ionza quickly ran to the fallen mutant. He was in great pain. "It's a miracle of the Emperor that he is still alive." Grace exclaimed while doing the aquila. "Can you save him?" Carrus stood over her as she kneeled next to Ryzan. "I shall try." Grace answered while she readied her syringe on her hands. "D-don't." Master Ryzan prayer was pathetic, all the strength and vitality was stripped from his voice.

"Why not?" Carrus answered with eagerness, bringing his face down at Ryzan's level. His pained expression made it plain for Grace and Ionza how he felt about everything.
"My debt to the Emperor is repaid this way. For many years ago, me and my brethren erred greatly. " Ryzan's bloodied expression said it all as Ionza made herself comfortable as she sat down next to him on a rock after she had retrieved her longlas.
"I knew it. You were mutants, what did you do?" Carrus smirked as he spoke, sounding excited, though irritated.

Ryzan spent a long time dying giving up the dark secrets of his mutant-hood and his former worship of chaos away to Grace, while Carrus and Ionza was disinterested in the kindness Grace offered the man and moved on not really caring about the mutant. But they listened out of a sense of duty to the fallen man.

At the end Ryzan told Carrus and Ionza he needed some time alone with Grace, and she concurred due to his worsening state, and that the commissars and Arbitrators couldn't hold up the reinforcing men led by colonel Jason Liam, who came walking in with Jatme. A tall lanky man, balding. He did a quick salute to them, dressed in his grey-green Storm-Trooper gear, removing his helmet. They gave him their customary nod with smiles back. They had walked over to another part of the hall leaving Ryzan alone with Grace.

Chapter VII

"The throne-room has been opened and your dad wants to see you." A nervous messenger clad in the black-purple Arbitrator like cerapace armour of House Carrus prostrated himself before Carrus and Ionza before they even had a chance to speak to Liam.

"So daddy want to see the prodigal son?!" Ionza sneered as she spat on the bloodied ground before the messenger. "Remove that helmet at once. I don't trust anyone who's eyes is concealed to me." She had in record-pace produced her bolt-pistol aiming it straight at the man's face even as he was kneeling before her.

"E-excuse me-me, l-lady, but I'm not to speak-speak with you." He trembled as he stuttered out the words removing his helmet, showing the plain unscarred face of a warrior more used to standing around looking ceremonial than one who had served in the frontlines. He was middle aged and balding. "I-I'm only to speak with Zachary Carrus."

"Speak up and get up maggot." Carrus' answer was harsh, his eyes narrowed as he looked at the messenger. "What do dad want?" Then he leaned back, put a hand infront of his mouth in case the messenger could read lips and whispered to Liam. "Get men into the throne-room, get dad's guards disarmed, people are kept away from Grace and try to avoid bloodshed." Liam only saluted and left getting his helmet on as he ordered Storm-Troopers to follow him.

The messenger got up, he laid the helmet on the floor and gave Carrus a small data-slate. Carrus just sneered as he read the news, he threw it up into the air and shot it down with his laspistol. "Sorry, dad has told you the content of this?" Carrus looked quizzical at the man, who nodded. Nobody was surprised that Carrus got the messenger to kneel once more, just with a gesture with his laspistol. Then the man was executed by Carrus.

"Come my love, it's time to meet my dad and your father-in-law." Carrus spoke while he smirked. They walked over to Grace and Ryzan who were still communicating like they were the best of friends, much to the surprise of both commissars, and got the final details about the situation. The Governor Palace was under total control of the soldiers loyal to Carrus and Ionza.

A while later they entered the splendid throne-room of the Carrus-family. Purple hangings went from the white marbled holders based in the roof several meters above the head of any people in the room. They displayed in gold the mark of the Carrus-family, a golden meltagun held by a golden lion in a horizontal state facing left while the motto of the Carrus-family "Si vis pacem, para bellum" (If you wish for peace, prepare for war). War-glorifying tapestry decorated the wall. The usual extravagant style of Primarches and Space Marines locked in combat. It was in the grande style so detested by both Carrus and Ionza. White marble-tables stood in good order around the throne-room, where lightly clad servants came along with fine wine serving the royalty of the Carrus-family.

Almost all were gathered. The room fell silent the second Carrus and Ionza stepped in. Everyone glared at Carrus and Ionza. Fresh of the battlefield. Purple silk was the general clothing for the family though many other colors were prevalent as well, especially pink, they looked at the young man and woman. Smoking lho-rods, while they walked through the crowd. Heading straight for the oldest Carrus-brother, Jack. A huge brute, where Carrus wasn't very big or burly he certainly were, the blue eyes were the ice-cold of a psychopath, everything else abut them were similar, as he had the same dirty-blonde hair as the young commissar. He wore a black uniform, not unlike a commissar, with lots of decorations and several medals, while a purple sash crossed over his barrel-chest. A very ornate sword dangled by his side.

Intense whispering started as the Palace Guards was exchanged by Storm-Troopers under Liam's command. "So you are back." The pleasant voice of Jack betrayed how he felt towards his kid brother. His broad unscarred face grinned in disgust over Carrus and his whore. "And with that!" The eyes got narrow as he eyed Ionza. "A common whore."

"You dare speaking about whores Jack? Look behind you, I hardly call those two noble-women." Carrus pointed at the two prostitutes with hands all over each other behind Jack, near the black windows, lying in a comfortable black-boned coach with purple padding. Coaches like those lined the great-hall all the way, while tall drapes hang from the windows, with golden edges.

"And you are to apologize right frakking NOW for what you called Commissar Michelle Ionza." Carrus took a step forward, people around them started to back off. Jack merely stretched and jawed. "Nah I will rape-"

Carrus slapped him hard, the sound resounded through the throne-room. Jack got thrown backwards into the coach squashing the two prostitutes with a nasty breaking sound as the coach collapsed under the sudden strain, while he lost his power sword as he tried to draw it from his ornate scabbard as Carrus struck him.

"Wrong answer, big brotha." Carrus grabbed Jack by the sleeves of his greatcoat. And planted a vicious hit on Jack with his armoured gauntlet. The orbital bone of Jack shattered as the result of the punch, and Carrus pulled out the eye of the man as he reeled back from his punches while he screamed in pain and terror. He then tossed it into punch-bowl which caused some panic, but that quickly ended as Ionza pulling her bolter and laspistol ended the life of two nobles, before she jumped up onto a table.

"Look now, this is your new ruler. The Daemon-Slayer, the duelist that killed the Rake of Matrovska two years ago, a veteran of a few battles and hundreds of skirmishers. And that clown think he has a chance against Zachary Carrus?" She smirked walking on the table, narrating as Carrus wailed on Jack, which returning punch just broke his hand against the heavily armoured belly of Carrus. "Hah see that not even a landed blow can take him. This is your doom, this is your once and future king." She laughed carelessly picking up the eye-ball of Jack.

"See big brother, you have always been an idiot. Hitting an armoured commissar in the chest only broke your hand." Carrus leered as he kicked the legs out underneath Jack who flew into a nearly table toppling it over, so he got drenched in wine and other edibles while fine crystal glasses and wine-bottles of first rate wine smashed into the carpeted floor while finely dressed members of the Carrus-family rapidly moved out of the way as they didn't want to get included. With his one remaining hand he grabbed a small knife and tried to lunge at Carrus despite being in immense pain.

Carrus just kneeled, broke the arm of Jack as he placed it on his knee letting his armour do the work as the elbow was brought down sharp on it. Jack roared in pain. Ionza meanwhile jumped down from the table right to Arturius Carrus, a rather fat, thuggish fellow, dressed in the royal purple of the Carrus-family. He was even more massive than his son Jack. Easily weighing four times more than Ionza, while at least being half a head taller than Carrus. Beside him two very nervous concubines stood.

One of them were sobbing. Ionza laid her voice with all the compassion she could muster, making it endlessly sweet. "Oh is that your man? Hm? The man my man is beating to death?" She looked into the tall dark-skinned almost nude woman's eyes, she cried. Ionza smiled devilish, and grabbed the mouth of the woman, forcing it open with one hand, with the other she held the eye-ball of Jack. The girl squirmed as she forced the eye-ball inside the mouth. Then she held for the mouth and nose of the terrified concubine.

"Better now?" The woman broke down, and tried to run away. "Obviously not." She pulled out her bolter, and shot her, showering Arturius Carrus and the other concubine with the poor woman. Everyone froze in terror over what happened next, a window was smashed as Carrus decided he was done bashing in his brother's face and body. He threw the man at a window expecting him to fly through the window instead he bounced off while the glass broke.

"Hit the road Jack." Carrus exclaimed as he savagely kicked his brother on the bounce, too savagely, the armoured military boot of Carrus broke Jack's neck and caved in half his face. He expired right there and then as he fell several hundred meters to be squashed on the pavement beneath the Governor's Palace. The execution-square, it was where the Carrus-family made their public executions to keep the public in line.

"Oh it looks like Carrus now is your heir, and I'm your heiress 'daddy-dearest'." Ionza grinned to Arturius as Carrus pulled out his laspitol and shot once. The remaining Carrus-brother fell with a small smoking crater where his left eye used to be. He looked shocked back at Ionza, he knew he likely wouldn't survive for much longer.

"I-impressive shooting. H-How did you do that?" The uncle of Carrus stood next to him, he looked extremely pale, almost pale enough to blend in with his cream-white uniform, with the customary purple sash. Medals adorned his chest.

"Simple, I took aim then I shot, and then Ashur died." Carrus attached his laspistol to his belt, dismissing the compliment of the man, despite it actually being a very good shot at over 100 meters. While shocked members of his family looked at him. A low buzz of whispering came from them as Carrus himself walked over to Arturius who looked with disdain at his youngest son.

The young male commissar just smirked at his dad. "Ain't you glad to see your heir and heiress? Ain't you glad I survived meeting Elanor? Ain't you glad I have murdered mum?" Carrus went straight over to the man, he lifted him up by the throat, by his left. Arturus flailed as he was lifted to the air. He tried to fight back, but every kick he delivered did nothing, his leather-clad hands could do less than little against the armoured fist of Carrus.

With his right Carrus got up his melta. He smiled, then whispered. "Dad, now I shall show you something fun." While he raised his melta, he also raised his voice, making it loudly audible to the many Storm-Troopers in the room. "Kill my family, spare no-one, except me of course." He fired his meltagun straight at the uncle not even caring that three members of his family was evaporated from the surface of the planet as he gave the order, pulling the trigger evaporating them all.

Screams resounded as people tried to flee as Storm-Troopers, commissars and Arbitrators started executed the people present, with bolters snapping and lasguns hissing as royal, lover and concubine alike was both put down in precise firing by the Imperial elites. A few nobles tried a desperate charge against Carrus, but they all ended dead, lacking an eye due to Ionza's laspistol at best, dying in a spray of blood and gore at worst if she shot them with her bolt pistol or dying from the silent hiss of Carrus' meltagun as he and his girl stood there dark in clothes, and dark in mind over the atrocity they were committing against purple and pink clad family of Carrus while they massacred them in droves as the lad crushed the throat of his struggling father.

"There you die. Daemon-consorter. Everything is remembered, nothing is forgotten, nothing is forgiven." Carrus threw his dad to ground, the body was limp. Arturius tried to gasp for air, but his crushed throat made it impossible, he died at the foot of his throne, an elaborate golden throne with purple cushions. The last thing he saw was Carrus and Ionza drawing their swords while they charged into a throng of the relatives of Carrus. Then screams of terror were made as their powered weapons hacked through the mass of bodies, while their laspistols discharged again and again shooting fleeing people with every shot.

All the relatives of Carrus were dead. Carrus looked grim, the fate of murdering his family was something only a dream coming true and Ionza, plus plenty of wine would wash away.

With secure steps he and ionza went up the few stairs to the throne. She was smiling, her prince had carried the day. She would be safe. Both were reloading their weapons and preparing for the tribute of their soldiers. They had their own throne now in the bloodied throne-room.

Carrus prepared his inauguration-speech, he had prepared it since he was 14. 16 in public.

"As you know this is a dream coming true. I have long-" He was interrupted as three men dressed in the black robes of the Inquisition suddenly teleported right into the midst of the assembled men and women. In the center stood a gray-faced man, the years had lost their meaning on him, he had a black hood, underneath were his Terminator armour, his black eyes bored through the souls of everyone present. Everyone in the room even Ionza kneeled, but not Carrus.

"On your feet men, treachery is afoot!!!" Carrus roared drawing his sword while his melta was unhooked from his gunbelt, taking a few steps towards the three Inquisitors. His melta were instantly trained on the group. "In the name of Commissar-Regent Zachary Carrus, I demand an explanation for this madness!!!" He yelled at them as he got close. The two younger Inquisitors were squirming and not feeling too well due to the sword of Carrus.

The oldest one just smiled, Carrus behaved just as he had seen in the Emperor-blessed visions he had seen of Carrus, with Ionza overcoming plenty of fear and dread as she trained her own bolter at them, drawing her own powered sword.

He licked his purple, cracked old lips, as he laughed. "I see my finest servants are every bit as tempestuous as I was shown in my dreams." The black-clad old man spoke with a croaking voice, it sent ice-cold shivers down the spine of everyone in the room, including his supporting Inquisitors.

Carrus calmed down, and sheathed his sword in the black scabbard hanging by his right side. "So who in the Emperor's name are you? Why are you here Inquisitor?" He looked a tad nervous as he knew he had conducted a severe breach of conduct.

Ionza were quick to place herself between her lover and the old man. "Apologies, Carrus has had a rough day." She sheathed her weapons as well, her brown large eyes were pleading as she prostrated herself infront of the Inqusitor. "Carrus has killed both his parents today, and his mother-"

The grey-faced old Inquisitor cut her off. He smiled an oddly merciful smile. "I'm High-Inquisitor Selpid of Ordo Malleus, I know you perfectly well young Michelle." She squirmed visibly under his gaze. "I know of your virtues, I know of your faults young Michelle. I know you killed your abusive foster-parents at six." He took diligent care of making his words soft. Then Selpid shifted his glance at Carrus who still was standing, he was pale, obviously like everyone else in the room thinking he would likely be purged.

"Young Daemon-Slayer, I salute you, and that Keeper of Secrets wasn't even your first. That is a feat not many can brag about even amongst the Ordo Malleus." He did a hand-wave at him, of the welcoming sort while he leaned at his staff-sword.

"Ehm, sorry master, I-I have just had-" Carrus stopped as the face of Selpid hardened. Obviously excuses was the last thing the High-Inquisitor wanted. He swallowed heavily, and looked around the to the shocked soldiers standing around them. "I killed the Vampire of Matrovska two years ago, but I didn't know that was a demon, he had both his heart slashed and his head went off by one stroke from my sword, which is called the Bringer of Insanity behind my back."

"It's time you got a similar weapon young Michelle." Selpid laid his voice soft, the conjured up a fireball, which shouldn't be possible to due in the vicinity of the Bringer. He sent it right at a wall, prompting nearby soldiers to duck for cover. Out of the broken wall fell an elegant rapier-style jet-black sword, with the same disgusting skull as Carrus had as the guard of his sword. "This is your sword young Michelle." The old man smiled at the young commissars, she looked revolted at her new sword.

"Ehm, the Bringer is bound by the blood of Carrus-" She was interrupted by Carrus. "Well that will not be a problem master." He smiled innocently while he drew his sword, then he drew a handkerchief meticulously wiping the sword clean before shaking off an armoured gauntlet. With a grunt he slashed his right hand. "Ionza hand!" She removed her gauntlet on her right hand reaching it to Carrus, and shrieked a little as Carrus slashed her hand. Then he pressed his right hand to her's and they mixed blood.

"Now this shouldn't really be a problem honey. Before you had my sperm inside you now you have my blood as well." He looked irritated at her, due to him perceiving her hesitation as lack of courage infront of the Inquisitor. "Now go fetch your new weapon, the Bringer of Madness." With secure steps she stepped forth, grabbing the elegant and disgusting weapon with her right hand. The blood bonded her with the powerful sword. She jolted a bit as the weapon was grabbed.

Then she saw Carrus raise his sword up towards the roof many meters above him. "All hail Commissar Ionza!!! All hail the Bringer of Madness!!" The soldiers assembled quickly roared in, repeating the sentences of Carrus several times over. Ionza just smiled a hollow smile raising her own weapon. She felt the weapon binding to her soul, it radiated soullessness and evil. Now she understood why Carrus despite not being very draconian was a very feared member of the Commissariat. It was his sword. (Partly true, but it certainly helped him setting the fear of the Emperor with people.)

Grace entered the throne-room, she looked flabbergasted. "So the Sororita has entered?" Selpid made his words soft. "You are to rule this planet young Sororita." Grace was shocked, but it was nothing compared to the extremely angry outburst from Carrus who shouted. "WHAT?! She are to rule my planet-" Ionza just rushed over, and slapped him on the mouth. "Hush you are speaking to an Inquisitor, not a soldier." She then kissed him, making him shut up.

Then she prostrated herself infront of Selpid. "I'm so remorseful about Carrus' reactions. He has had a rough day." The brazen young woman continued. "He has murdered all of his family, he has had his dream crushed and now we both will commit ourself to your justice High Inquisitor Selpid." The speech was passionate, fueled by many years of training in oratory, Selpid smiled at the spirited young commissar, yet he knew Grace was a far wiser ruler than either Ionza or Carrus. Grace made a quick curtsy and left the room, she had some scribes to find and a planet to organize as the fallout of Ionza's plan was on her shoulders.

"Yes my young commissars, I had wanted you to enjoy some peace, but there are pressing matters to consider on Tanibus Alpha, a hive-world." He drew up a data-slate from beneath his robes. It showed the data. Dark Eldar were attacking the planet along with internal unrest.

"You two along with the commissars Mack, Higgings and Simpson are to reunite with the Freudakian 81st." He saw into the sad eyes of both Carrus and Ionza, who bent necks as he mentioned Simpson. "Oh, I assume one of them is dead?" The two commissars nodded. "Cal Simpson bravely gave his life, fighting the Keeper of Secrets." Carrus spoke, he laid his voice without emotion as the commissar-training had taught him.

"The rest of you lot are to be submitted to my Inquisitorial Storm-Troopers. The Commissars will retain the rank, the Arbitrators, will be re-educated to either commissars or Storm-Troopers." Selpid raised his voice to such a level that everyone could hear him.

"Commissar Carrus, Ionza, Mack and Higgins, will immediately go to the spaceport, and take a space-shuttle back to Freudakia, there they will rendezvous with the Freudakian 81st. and they will submit to the command of James Stremm and Nathan Harken at the Heritage." The four commissars broke rank and started to head for the exit of the throne-room. Their careers had just started, they wanted peace, there were none to be achieved in the Imperium of Mankind. They all knew that.

Whoa.

TheRobotLol wrote:Whoa.

Is that good or bad? I hope I didn't cross too much over and assume too much about your planet.

Good. Very good. Long. Very long.

(Oh and i've added a part for the story which gives a brefif description of the terrain.

TheRobotLol wrote:Good. Very good. Long. Very long.

(Oh and i've added a part for the story which gives a brefif description of the terrain.

Thanks, and yeah it's quite long, ouf I must even write more, as they are to board the Heritage, traveling to Tanibus Alpha. BTW what is the data on the planet? How many inhabitants? The Planetary Governor is loyal or not? What is the average temperatures?

Ok, the population is about 154,000,000,000 . The planetary govenor is disloyal, as my Evesor shows, and the temperature is cold, with gigantic ash plumes often blotting out the sun. The planet is mostly vovered in hive cities but contains numerous mining sites.

TheRobotLol wrote:Ok, the population is about 154,000,000,000 . The planetary govenor is disloyal, as my Evesor shows, and the temperature is cold, with gigantic ash plumes often blotting out the sun. The planet is mostly vovered in hive cities but contains numerous mining sites.

Any special weapons Tanibus Alpha produces lots of? Special tanks? I know I'm asking, much, but I want to get things right.

No prob. The vast majority of the mining is for promethium. Because of that fact, the world produces large amounts of flamer weaponry as well as hellhounds and other flame utilising tanks.

TheRobotLol wrote:No prob. The vast majority of the mining is for promethium. Because of that fact, the world produces large amounts of flamer weaponry as well as hellhounds and other flame utilising tanks.

Great, I plan to have the Freudakian 81st. fighting with a lot of melta and flamer-weaponry, so that played neatly into my hand. Also adding a few cathedrals for the regiment to loot Rosariuses from won't be too difficult. Considering the commissars attached to the regiment, you almost get a medal if you nick a Rosarius, and doesn't get caught.

Very nice.

Good, I will a new chapter coming up soon, which shall explain a few things that just happened.

Chapter VIII

A few days had passed the shuttle met with the Dictator-class cruiser. The four commissars with Jatme had boarded arrived, they were all integrated into the Freudakian 81st. It was a lightly armoured infiltration unit. Stealth was paramount, a large quantity of meltaguns were present at the regiment along with heavy flamers. Which benefited the general strategy of colonel James Stremm. Striking from the shadows with as much devastation as possible.

Carrus and Ionza were both quite unbalanced due to the events which happened a few days earlier. It didn't help one bit that Harken were in full swing with his womanizing, causing quite a ruccus in the officer-bar due to his many affairs. They should both rather be recuperating in the infirmary, but no, they made their way to the bar instead.

Harken held court in the finest quarters of the officer-bars. He was accompanied by sycophantic suck-ups and pretty women from the Imperial Navy, dressed in the blue jackets, and usually with small white skirts. They sat in the finest coaches, made from the Freudakian pine, dark-blue shiny wood was what the expensive furniture were made of.

Carrus and Ionza strode into the part. Their looks had gotten personnel meeting them to quickly scurry away. Unlike Harken they were dressed in the plain clothes reserved for the battlefield. Harken were dressed in his medal-covered finest uniform, his sky-blue sash was edged with gold, red and gold dominated the expensive and tailored uniform. His hands were resting on the bare thighs of two of the Navy lieutenants, while he was laughing harshly.

"So this is what which is befitting behavior from an Imperial Commissar?" Carrus spoke as he went forth, his eyes narrow. He seethed with badly hidden hate. "Whatcha gonna do about it then little Zachary?" Harken spat out the words. The bile was almost taste by everyone present.

"Emperor, you have never been this rude to Carrus before Commissar-General Harken." Ionza was baffled of the verbal assault from Harken. "This is not your fight Michelle, so stay out of it." Harken loosened his gunbelt. "Are you up for it lad, you look a bit peckish." Harken smirked as Carrus let his gunbelt go with a soft thud. He nodded. The two commissars started to circle each other as a ring was created around them.

Harken did the first move he lunged for Carrus' torso, but Carrus dodged, bringing up his elbow, smacking it right into the nose of Harken, sending the much larger man reeling. Harken quickly recovered, and caught Carrus in the head with a brutal punch, sending him flying back a meter. Harken then had his feet swept from under him as he tried to jump at the downed Carrus who rolled away from the brutal jump, before he rammed his forehead hard into the face of Harken. Yet he was injured, Harken had the advantage as he was far stronger than Carrus, and he had over one hundred years of fighting experience, so Carrus had his clock cleaned by Harken.

Eventually Ionza pulled the hulking Harken off Carrus, both men were laughing. Noses broken, probably some cracked ribs, one set of black-eye each. The officers of the bar had seen quite the fist-fight, and they were both laughing even as they spat blood.

"Good fight lad." Harken picked up Carrus getting him to the coach. The young commissar grinned. "Yeah." He spat some blood. "One day I will get you, and then you are a married man." They got seated, both got a bottle of Freudakian White which they drank greedily of. Ionza also got seated, at the lap of Carrus.

"So pissing contest over?" Ionza snickered, the two men in her life had fought, both should actually be seeing a medic for their internal injuries. "Pissing-contest over." Carrus spoke. "I concur, pissing-contest over laddie." Harken let his large hand ruffle the hair of Carrus. He knew his behavior would change as his young proteges was right, and the behavior he showed was utterly dangerous when in the warp.

"Nice fight." The harsh voice of the huge Stremm hit their ears like a fist. He was in the crowd, one hand around the shoulder of McLandi. "Yeah, I have never seen anyone do that damage to Commissar-General Harken before Commissar Carrus. Hats off." Smith said it as he got seated next to Carrus as he slapped him on the shoulder.

Stremm and McLandi got seated next to Harken. Who sat in the middle, gone were now the pleasure-seekers and the sycophants. They were replaced by the more fierce officers of the Imperium of Mankind, who now flanked Harken.

Harken extended his right hand. "I missed you Carrus." He said it as Carrus grabbed his hand. "I know boss, and I missed you as well." "Same here, I always misses my mentor who always is like a father for me." Ionza said as she hugged Harken. "If he is that, then he is like my father-in-law." Carrus spoke, which got Harken to roar with laughter.

"Give me the short briefing Colonel Stremm." How long will we be in transit to Tanibus Alpha, where shall we land, what about other regiments." Ionza broke the friendly atmosphere. Her pitiless brown eyes pierced right into the soul of the huge man, who swallowed heavily before answering. "Hive world, inhabitants north of one hundred and fifty billion people. Governor corrupt, PDF and Arbitrator-loyalty questionable. Atmosphere breathable, but cold."

"I like that." Carrus kissed Ionza. "The Governor will die, and we will rule as Commissar-Regents, the Inquisition has promised me that." He was full of blunder and bluster despite Harken minutes earlier having handed his ass to him.

The ship's captain, had heard about the fight between Carrus and Harken, and now came with his guards. He was less than pleased that the top disciplinary officer onboard had the gall to brawl with the high-ranking Carrus, who actually had enough rank with Ionza to be the most senior commissar onboard despite only having four years as experience at commissarial matters.

Captain Richard Magnum was heavily bearded, average height, he was dressed in the Imperial Navy blue, white pants, he had a scowl on his face as he surrounded by naval provosts in fine blackish commissariat garb. Commissars considered of the lower grades often ended up in the Imperial Navy as there skills with weapons were less important than with the Guard. Alan Hanson were amongst the members there, he was incensed over that scum like Carrus and Ionza were treated like gold, while he, who had great theoretical grades have been shipped off to a backwater vessel like Heritage.

"See it's CC Hanson." Ionza spoke up, with not a little disdain for him coming to the surface. "You two, explain yourself!" The roaring captain pointed straight at Carrus and Harken. "Pissing-contest, now look the other way or face my commissarial wrath Imperial Navy Captain." Ionza answered as she got up from Carrus' lap. The eyes of the other five members of the Freudakian 81st. bored themselves into the soul of Rick Magnum, who felt less than confident.

"Get your ass seated captain, we have much work to do, and as Commissar Ionza explained, me and my protege had a pissing-contest. That happens from time to time." Harken spoke up, the tone of his voice made it abundantly clear that the request was not to be denied. Magnum got seated next to Stremm. While Ionza began to harp at the provosts, for anything like a button not being polished to that one woman, over 10 years her senior were wearing makeup, something she ironically wore herself. The captain got seated and had several drinks with the high-ranked officers of the Freudakian 81st. while they discussed the general travel-schedule and the plans for landfall on Tanibus Alpha.

Very nice! As usual, keep up the good work.

TheRobotLol wrote:Very nice! As usual, keep up the good work.

Thanks mate.

Dear lord...... And these two nutjobbs are on MY side! Damn I need more guns. But great work still

Trondheim wrote:Dear lord...... And these two nutjobbs are on MY side! Damn I need more guns. But great work still

Thanks mate, and worse one of them think he should rule a planet.

I know, I think even the Ragnarokians may need a drink when all is setteled

Dem two sure are crazy.

Hm what should I do next? Explain how Carrus ordered the members of the regiment to wear cerapace armour, with all the initial resistance and such. Or shall I just jump into the battle of Tanibus Alpha?

I would go into the combat, but thats just IMHO, its your story .

Time for moare Dakka!

I will go for that. Time for the regiment to take action.

Two months later, Inquisitor Kelkaris did his best to hold his men in line. He was a man of fair complexion, rather tall, grey long hair despite a not wrinkled face. He wielded a storm bolter and a power fist, he was dressed in golden powered armour, the PDF-ers around him were falling back. It was not because of the Khornaite devils. No this was far worse, the grey skies gave little promise. In the city-streets he had seen the horrific Dark Eldar tear into his troopers. They were really uneasy now, and the reason were clear, they were being butchered enmasse. With horrible screams as the Dark Eldar tore the young men apart. They had done nothing to deserve such a fate. Most were actually good men, that didn't prevent their deaths in the hive.

"Hold the line!!" Kelkaris called out. He didn't know death were imminent, as suddenly he was tugged back and smashed into the rubble behind him. Despite his psychic powers he had failed to notice the Mandrake who suddenly were upon him, he tried desperately to raise his powered fist. He knew the punch would be too late. He was dead.

He closed his eyes. Death were to consume him, instead he felt blood splash on his face, he re-opened his eyes, he saw a young, rather small female commissar appearing from the mist much akin to the Mandrakes, the head of the Mandrake had been lopped off, his life-blood sprayed right at his face.

The female was a brown-headed little woman, a shadow-like furry cloak hanged over her shoulders, the commissar-garb she wore was blackish, she had her jet-black powered sword drawn, Kelkaris keeled over in abject pain as he felt her sword burn into his soul. Yet he saw her combating another Mandrake, the soldiers around her froze in abject terror as she dodged the savage blows of the Mandrake with a speed humans shouldn't possess.

She narrowly avoided the assassin's fist tearing off a part of the brick-wall she just had been standing next to. Now she struck back, as the Mandrake were split in two by her revolting powered sword.

She turned to the Inquisitor. She spoke, her voice all sweet, he shuddered a bit. "Sorry for the disturbance Astartes." She shrugged. "Assassins were out to get you." She giggled gently. "Name is Michelle Ionza." Retaining her smirk she wiped her sword clean with her handkerchief. "Commissar, you then?" She looked at him, with a look denouncing how little she cared, the PDF-ers already felt encouraged by her show-down with the assassins.

"Inqusitor Ordo Xenos Kelkaris." He spoke thickly, the words stumbled out of his mouth, he felt threatened under the glare of the young woman, which bolter were drawn, he thought first at him, but he turned, she had just gunned down a Flamer of Tzeentch, with a single bullet from a very elegant bolt pistol. He saw her putting it into her blackened holster. She smiled a smile of disdain, yet awe as well. Her soothing voice and striking beauty almost rivaled the appeal of a Daemonette.

Around him the world exploded. "Commissar Ionza at your service Inquisitor Kelkaris." He looked shocked as several blocks of the hive got bombed to smithereens. She grinned with a grin of a truly bad girl, as she calmly had one foot on a rock, raising her knee so she calmly could just take a shot with her longlas. "Hear the vox-chatter Kelkaris, the front is fallen." Another shot was taken. He watched through his binoculars a Dark Eldar Sybrate loose a major part of his head as the small woman sniped him. "Any commands sir?" She asked him calmly as she covered not far from him in a ruined hole. No answer came as Kelkaris yet had to regain his composure due to the powered sword she wore, and the unhealthy sight the Mandrake had been.

She took aim again, a Wych-leader were dropped, another headshot. "Take cover men!" She yelled, then she grabbed him, and pulled him into cover underneath a collapsed building. They laid there for a while. "We are the Freudakian 81st." A loud boom sounded from bombs were they had stood just moments earlier. "We have been assigned to Tanibus Alpha by High-Inquisitor Selpid of Ordo Malleus." Another bomb fell she covered up like a turtle, then continued. "We infiltrate and blow things up." She turned away from the man. She was a sexual being despite her battle-uniform. "Commissar Michelle Ionza here, Alpha-Delta-Zulu-Lima. Code one, eight, seven. Cease bombardment of region Zulu, Ionza over and out." She spoke, perfect vox-discipline, despite the bombs from the Mauraders smashing everything above them. She smiled a pretty and decadent smile.

"Sorry Kelkaris, but we have little time." Kelkaris shuddered. The petite woman was as pretty and heartless as any Succubus. She took aim with her longlas once more, another Dark Eldar-leader fell. This time a Haemonculi, he was shot through were she thought his nose was.

She had taken cover. The Dark Eldar smacked home shots in her general direction. They were soon stopped as she utilized her vox-beads in her commissaral-uniform. "Commissar Michelle Ionza here, to Manticore-battery one-ninty-seven. Fire at my location plus 0.7 degrees north. Commissar Michelle Ionza over and out." Moments later missiles rained down over the region, grinding the section of the hive into dust.

"So Kelkaris..." She turned around, he could see by her small and bulging belly that she were pregnant, underneath her black clothes, she didn't even bother to wear any kind of armour except her black greatcoat. "What is your suggestion of solution for these Xenos?" She looked smugly, yet uncertainly at him.

Very good. Keep up the good work

TheRobotLol wrote:Very good. Keep up the good work

Thanks. I sort of think it looked a bit random with Ionza going from drinking on the lap of her BF to having several CMOAs, but I already have inserted the Spanish Inquisition into my fluff as all Selpid lacked was the line: "Nobody expects the Inquisition!" hehe. Well that was actually funny to write.

Chapter IX

Two months had passed since the fight between Carrus and Harken. The trip had been uneventful, save for a bit of grumbling as Carrus forced the members of the Shadow-Tigers to dress more uniform and in cerapace armour, due to his belief that they should rely on armour as well as stolen Rosariuses and Refractor Shields. This was not cracked down at due to how he and Ionza had acquired their own Rosariuses.

They had broken into the huge cathedral at Matrovska two years earlier, during their first visit there. 4 hours after they landed large holes had been blasted through the cathedral and the two Rosariuses belonging once to a pair of Imperial Saints disappeared (which as an irony of fate resembled Carrus and Ionza more than a little when alive even through the names had been lost to posterity), while they by a coincidence gained their own black aquilas, which from that day of always hanged around their neck.

Landing had come, the Valkyries attached to the regiment dodged the antiaricraft-fire from the renegades on the ground. The maverick pilots were some of the best of the Imperial Navy, and only a few Valkyries were lost on the descent to Tanibus Alpha. Maurader bombers escorted by Lighting fighters cleared the rainy skies. For the Freudakian 81st. to make landfall. Joining them were also the Freudakian 711th. Artillery Regiment. And the Zylvanian 834th. Bluebloods, which relationship with the Shadow-Tigers unsurprisingly were tempestuous at best due the the Bluebloods racism and misogyny, while the Shadow-Tigers lack of discipline and independent thinking was really disliked by them as the privates even had their own corners, gambling was allowed within the regiment, and they were exempt from praying to the Emperor due to their belief in that he was to be revered through abject fear and terror only.

Yet they all came together as Stremm took the lead of the planning, despite the fact that the Shadow-Tigers provided less than one tenth of the manpower coming from Heritage.

The Shadow-Tigers landed all over the city. They were relying on their infiltration and excellent vox-skills as guidance for the Imperial Navy-pilots.

The Arbitratorum was even grounded to dust by Harken and his kill-team, getting the Heritage to launch a torpedo at it. The most important buildings of the hive was rapidly sabotaged by the Shadow-Tigers, having Valkyries dropping spades of ammo and explosives to them. The short-range firefights favored the cool and experienced elites over the disorganized rabble of the city, and many a soldier who had hated Carrus for demanding them all wearing cerapace armour, now were grateful he had made that ultimatum.

The Bluebloods held the battleline, they were used to being utilized in heavy shock assaults not as trench-diggers while a regiments which included females and colored people stole the glory with the Imperial Navy, while they and their Leman Russes were only used in supporting roles, or to take down entrenched positions the Shadow-Tigers didn't bother taking.

The snipers of the Freudakian 81st. led by McLandi rapidly had most officials supporting the Governor taken out. Many a PDF-officer died trying to get his men to charge an unseen enemy from a shot from an angle thought impossible.

Even so, suddenly the Dark Eldar Void Stalker-class Battleship Cruel Deliverance came through the webway. She sent scores of Dark Eldar to the surface of the planet, with fighter and bomber-support, and for odd reasons didn't notice the Heritage which launched repeated waves of torpedoes and a furious array of lance weaponry at almost point-blanc range. The vessel was hidden behind a small moon and was just about to prepare for planetary bombardment so the torpedoes were in the tubes, the lasers were charged and she was rearing to go.

Even so, the Imperial cruiser had no real chance to take on the Cruel Deliverance, which answered with a massive broadside (despite only firing one fifth of it's weaponds), all but destroying the Heritage, which with a lucky shot managed to finally cripple the warp-drive of the much larger vessel. With it's weapons all but gone, Captain Magnum had only one choice left. He rammed the vessel.

The Dictator-class cruiser rammed into the much larger vessel from behind, pushing it into orbit. Magnum hoped the vessel would be consumed by the planetary atmosphere.

He was wrong the Dark Eldar-vessel was caught by the orbit, and landed right in the hive city, while the Heritage limped away, the crew were desperately repairing the damage sustained while Stremm changed his strategy. Receiving calls that the Heritage was crippled and the Imperial Guard needed an airforce-base due to the Dark Eldar Cruiser crash-landing in the hive killing millions of people. He immediately halted the offensives on the advice from other officers, and dispatched most of the Bluebloods with support from the Freudakians to take control of the spaceport as their only chance of survival against the Dark Eldar fighters and bombers which already were beginning to take effect.

I like it.

Kelkaris glared back at Ionza, he didn't know what to answer. Usually he was used to his Artificer Armour seeing off all things. He had no experience, except shared knowledge inside the Inquisition about the Dark Eldar. He swallowed heavily.

Ionza asked again. "What's next honored Inquisitor?" She sighed, as she sat there in the rubble. "Are you alright?" She looked worried over at Kelkaris, which brush with the Mandrake seemed to totally impair his ability to even form simple words. She smiled gently at him, he was suffering from battle-stress, her weapon and the Mandrake had freaked out the man.

"They are the Dark Eldar....I think." Kelkaris finally gathered his composure. "I haven't any personal experience in fighting them as I mostly had fought the Tyranids." He tried to wipe the blood from his face, but the clumsy powered suit made it impossible.

"May I?" Ionza smiled warmly as Kelkaris nodded, she tugged out a little black handkerchief of fine silk, then she gently wiped the man's face. "Sorry for spraying you Inquisitor, but you were almost killed." She giggled a bit, but that faded quickly as she heard the gargles and screams of the nearby PDF-ers getting slaughtered by a squad of Wyches, they fought back desperately, yet they were doomed as the Wyches just dodged the las-shots and heavy bolters of the grey greatcoat-clad men who did their utmost yet were slaughtered as the Wyches leered as their more clumsy foe were slaughtered between every sommersault, jump and dodge. Grenades were kicked back into their foxholes, plasma grenades detonated were the Heavy Bolter-teams were located just after they were thrown, there were no time even for the men to comprehend the grenades being thrown in, nanoseconds later they detonated.

"What do we do now?" Kelkaris whispered to her. "We wait and hope we ain't detected, look at what they are doing to the prisoners. They are raping them." She didn't show any emotion at all, Kelkaris on the other hand went a bit pale as he witnessed the cruelty the Xenos extracted on their prisoners.

Then precise hotshot lasgun-fire were directed at the wyches and Kaballites erupted. Several was taken out by meltaguns, shot from unknown places in the rubble, the Dark Eldar roared into combat, running at breakneck speed towards the hidden Imperials. Their leader despite having a speed and agility only the most skilled of marksmen could hope to hit with a heavy bolter were evaporated from the surface of the planet by a melta-blast. Ionza saw it. She smiled.

"Come, I recognize that, style." She waved Kelkaris with her and leapt out of the ruin, quickly darting across the scarred landscape. Kelkaris gave chase, he was worried as he saw a power armour-clad Judge got blasted to smitherins by a Dark Lance. His engraved, nice armour would be totally worthless against such a threat. Yet he followed her, while his storm bolter blasted two Dark Eldars which had spotted him apart, they got blasted to smithereens in the rubble.

Ionza covered again in a grey ruin, once it had been a spire, the Imperial bombing-run from Heritage had reduced it into just a sharp peak at the cost of ten thousands of dead. Kelkaris was just behind her.

They were closer to the Imperial line, yet they saw Shadow-Tigers from time to time get taken out by the Scourges sniping them. Several fell without answer. Ionza, couldn't snip back due to the likeliness that the Kaballites or Wyches spotting her and overwhelming her in close-combat, or worse taking her prisoner.

Finally she spotted a lull in the fighting, and darted across the surface, one unfortunate Dark Eldar Wych were shot in the back of the head with her longlas as she ran across the ruined landscape, with Kelkaris surprised running swiftly in an erratic pattern to throw off the Dark Eldars shooting at him. He was his many times, but all the shots just bounced off his power armour.

A Wych squad finally got wind of her, and came charging for her. She knew they would catch up with her, dropping her longlas, drawing bolter and power sword she prepared to sell her life dearly. The first Wych a tall slender and beautiful woman got close to Ionza, who shot five shots at her with her bolter, all missed, though two smashed into two Wyches behind the woman who promptly blew up, spraying several other Wyches with blood, guts, bits of skeletons and parts of their black armour. She struck at Ionza with her agonizer, which she dodged.

Then she parried the next blow, which was from a vily blade. Ionza fought desperately, she had to kill this one and fast. She struck out in desperation. The Wych dodged, and smacked Ionza to the ground, then she raised her agonizer with a sadistic grin.

"Get off her foul frakking thing!!!" Carrus roared as he charged her from out of nowhere, he bodyslammed her so hard that she flew right into the rubble getting impaled by a stone gargoyle over three meters away. He then shot another Wych with his melta.

Ionza grinned as she saw her beloved wade into the melee with the squad of Wyches, she herself recovered to see Kelkaris getting a closeup with the Hekatrix. She was damn fast and skilled, yet he showed a skill with powerfist and an agility unbecoming of him despite his power armour as she swung her agonizer whip and missed, the infuriating smile on her face was quickly wiped away, as her torso was pulped by the powerfist of Kelkaris.

Yet Carrus stole the show, he butchered five Wyches in short order. The first one a male he split open balls to brain, he hadn't dropped before the second and third was caught in the blast from his meltagun, the fourth lunged at him, but he dodged the blow, then the female had her legs kicked out under her, and he stamped on her head with exploded in a spray of blood and brainmatter on the grey-black dirty asphalt.

The final one was quite more skilled as she sheared through three Shadow-Tigers in close-combat with an effortless ease, they had tried to stab her with the bayonetted hotshot lasguns, killing them all with twists and turns of her beautiful body, with a serene smile on her face as she eyed Carrus.

That mon-kiegh would be fun to play with she thought, as she slashed towards him, not intending to kill him right away, she gasped as the attack was parried, the response only her instinctive sidestep kept her from getting torn in half, and the swing did not unbalance him as he blocked her next move, as she tried to attack both high and low at once. Unfortunately for her, his feints had served his purpose, the melta was fired point-blanc at her, the beautiful Wych ended her days as the unworthy opponent instead of fighting clean like he was supposed to, rather preferred to just turn her into sludge.

"Girlie." He smiled at her. "Boyfriend." She smiled back at him, their bliss were short lived on the battlefield as return-fire from the Dark Eldars sent five more Shadow-Tigers to an early grave and the two commissars took cover together.

They were soon joined by Kelkaris who sheltered with them behind a huge rock. "Who is the golden boy?" Carrus asked casually, not really caring, he wore the same style of cape as Ionza. He wore the battle-armour, the unadorned style of the commissars often hailing from Freudakia, black-grey, his was with high-quality cerapace, he sat there smiling.

"I'm Ordo Xenos Inquisitor Kelkaris, identify yourself commissar." Kelkaris answered, his facial expression showed disdain over Carrus' comment. "Sorry Inquisitor, I honestly didn't know." Carrus' face went through a few colors as he continued. "I'm Commissar Zachary Carrus by the way. Please just call me Commissar Carrus" Carrus answered back as he reloaded his melta, he saw a Raider coming, he fired at it. It exploded midair slinging debris all over the place.

"Nice shot Commissar Carrus." Kelkaris told him, then he took aim himself, five Kabalites exploded in torrents of blood at quite the range. Carrus smiled back impressed due to the range Kelkaris put down the Dark Eldars on. "Right back at you if I may." Kelkaris grinned a bit, he already liked the brazen young warrior.

An artillery-barrage finally provided the humans their relief as they could slink away, also the Dark Eldar Archon wanted prisoners and getting his vessel up and running so he could get of the surface quickly before his forces were overwhelmed despite numbering over 100.000.

Nice. I especialy like the description of the combat.

TheRobotLol wrote:Nice. I especialy like the description of the combat.

Thanks, I fell that has improved a bit, though I still regard it as a weakness.

I wouldn't say that. It very well writen.

Chapter X.

The devastation of the hive was utter and complete. The Imperial Guard were relegated to only fight a guerrilla-war against the Dark Eldar. Kelkaris saw how The Zylvanian Bluebloods fought bravely yet they died in droves, mostly to bombing-runs from the foreign devils. The Shadow-Tigers fared better as they matched at least the Dark Eldar when it came to shooting, if not in close-combat. Also the two fierce and young commissars which he had found gave him hope. They didn't lead like the traditional commissars in the broken city. No they led from the shadows, he spent half the time wondering where they actually were as they slipped in and out of shadows. It was the same with their men.

They paused near the Governor's Palace, they found a lull in the fighting. "What data do you have on these Dark Eldar, honored Inqui-" Carrus asked before he was interrupted by Kelkaris. "Look boy state your mind, I'm too old to care for niceties, please just be blunt, niceties doesn't befit either you nor Commissar Ionza." Kelkaris looked annoyed, he couldn't stand all the circles people always took with him considering anything. His displeased face showed that in ample degree.

"They are ruled by the strongest, they betray each other with glee and you-" He was cut short when they heard men of the Shadow-Tigers starting to perish all around them.

"It's a man, totally berzerk." Ionza says as she takes aim, the guy was tearing apart several soldiers in gory fashions while their shots did little to slow him down. Kelkaris got over to Ionza." He got his binoculars up, watching the assassin. "Emperor's mercy, an Eversor, a living nuke." He moaned out the words, then he got harsher. "Don't kill him, the explosion will kill us all." His voice resounded over the Vox-net. "Withdraw from him."

Problem was that the Eversor had seen them, Carrus calmly took aim, he pressed the trigger on his melta twice, he was out of ammo. He tossed the meltagun away, drawing pistol, several lasbolts glanced off the armour of the beast speeding towards them while he yelled. "Inquisitor get me the frakking password, I will try to hold off this beast, everyone else, fall back!!! Fall back this devil can be the death of us all!!"

While he took cover behind a column as the Eversor returned fire as he slayed yet another Shadow-Tiger, the youngest man there. At only 17 he had done great honor in slaying one of the ferocious animals, yet now he yelped in panic. The lasbolts from the young man smashed into the grisly mask of the Eversor, then the boy's head was pulped as the Eversor murdered him. A flame-vielding trooper also met his fate as he tried to barbeque the Eversor as well, legs was shot off, then the flamer was shot so it exploded, engulfing the flamer-wielding man and the man nearest to him.

"Are you deaf!!!??" Carrus roared through the vox. "Commissar Zachary Carrus here, fall frakking back immediately, disengage the frakking assassin. Commissar Carrus over and out, disengage, disengage, disengage!!!" He stepped forward to engage the assassin, while his pistol discharged again and again at the assassin, while a meltagunner blatantly disregards Carrus' order and fires at the closing assassin. That is the last thing he does as he is split open brain to balls in a horrid display of savagery.

The Eversor screams earshattering at Carrus, a small trickle of blood runs down from both of his ears as he draws his revolting powered sword, preparing to meet the impending doom as Inquisitor Kelkaris frantically is standing by the master-voxer, while Ionza leads the rest of the men to safety as if Carrus is to kill the Eversor a whole section of the city with millions of people would blow up.

The Eversor met with Carrus he attacked with blinding speed. The first strike Carrus met, he parried by what seemed like a miracle even through his sword is brought back quite a bit, yet he bodyslams the foul creature, making it loose his pistol. Then he goes for the head of Carrus, the sword is met by Carrus, distance is created due to both bouncing back from the force of the blows. Several shots from Carrus' laspistol is discharged to the legs of the Eversor as the berzerked creature leaps towards Carrus who would have gotten impaled had he sidestepped a fraction of a second later.

Now Carrus goes on the offensive, he slashed towards the head of the assassin, the attack has one purpose. Carrus must get the assassin out of balance, so he has the chance of getting the code-word. It is not as expected. The assassin catches the blow with his hand not blade. "Frakking Emperor!!! No!!" Carrus swears loudly as the sword perforates the hand of the assassin.

Yet the shock and surprise sends the assassin reeling back. Carrus sees an opening, and gives the assassin a savage kick to the ribs sending him flying. He is incapacitated for a little while. The young commissar then goes onto the vox having heard the frantic chatter between Kelkaris and Castuas.

"This is Commissar Zachary Carrus here, Castuas, I'm fighting this frakking thing right frakking now, you must give me the password-" Carrus is interrupted as the recovered assassin tackles him. They tumbles along the pavement and though a brickwall.

The bleeding hand must be held away from his bloodstream or Carrus is a dead man, he grabs the arm of the inhumanly strong Eversor, who with the other claws at him. Carrus throws a few punches himself, but they are nothing compared to the blows the Eversor delivers as he smashes his hand into the armoured belly of Carrus.

"Castuas, Commissar Carrus here" He grunts as he is hit hard in chest by the assassin. "I really need that password, and now!!! Commissar Carrus over." He pleads with the confused Handler as the assassin is pounding him hard. "Noctefestus". The words comes from Kelkaris. He has used his Inquisitorial override to get into contact with the Inquisitor that sent Havelok.

"Noctefestus" Carrus screams it to the assassin as he feels several ribs pop from a savage blow, the young commissar is all spent, all of his substantial life is locked in this battle, everything is at stake for him, his life, the life of his planet, the life of his twins yet unborn inside Ionza who is the most important person in his life.

The assassin stops, Carrus pushes him away while coffing up blood, Kelkaris comes over to him, his facial impression says it all. "Wow." He croacks. "I have never seen such fighting ever." He hands Carrus his discarded melta as he gets up. Carrus on the other hand just laughs a bit before he say. "Well the Emperor didn't see it fit to have me dead yet." He dusts himself off while coffing up substantial amounts of blood. He shakes his head violently as he recovers his cap as well. Several thousand men, women and children has seen his showdown with the Eversor as it happened right in front of the Governor's Palace.

No less than two pict-cast teams are on the scene, every bit of the fight between Carrus and Havelok is shown around the the world. Kelkaris knows this is the opportunity Carrus has been waiting for, the much larger man raises the right hand of Carrus as they stands infront of the Governor's Palace, and then says. "I'm Inquisitor Kelkaris of Ordo Xenos, this is Commissar Zachary Carrus, through his fearlessness and leadership will we send the Dark devils that are the Dark Eldar reeling. They are more devious than us sacred humans, they are stronger than us sacred humans, faster, but we have the belief in the Emperor on our side and heroes like Commissar Carrus." Then he raises his voice to an excited roar. "And we will win over the treacherous and debauched Dark Eldar who have only come here to rape murder and pillage because we have heroes like Zachary Carrus and his consort Michelle Ionza."

The people watching them shouts in excited roars, hushed signs of relief is evident. The Inquisitor didn't even lie, and now Carrus takes the word striking a dramatic poise, well-practiced since since he knew he might launch his bid for Ciralix in such a way. Instead it's Tanibus Alpha.

"The Planetary Governor is dead, he was a traitor, and died by the hand of the thing I just fought." He smirks as he speaks, he whispers into the vox that he has won and Ionza should be at his side. He continues while he moves like a great expending much energy in his speech. "We must fight the Dark Eldar, heretic and loyalist alike, divided we will just clamp at each other. And I will personally implore the Inquisition to look past the past crimes of any heretics on Tanibus Alpha if they help us fighting the black-heartened Dark Eldar." He then goes into a rant. "This is no lie, the Dark Eldar are the most black of hearts, they are pure evil, they will not be sated until each and everyone here have been defiled." He then continues with his speech.

"Know this, just as you shall fear me, I fear the Emperor. Through his terror, you will see his light, look to him for your fear and terror, tremble when you thinks of him, we now have the chance to prove that we at least doesn't go to hell!!" Carrus made rehearsed poises, he followed his own coup'd etat-script.

The crowd roars in response of the speech by Carrus, as Ionza slips out of the shadows, they give each other a rapid kiss and embraces to ecstatic high-pitched roars, standing under the smashed Governor's Palace as rays of the sun for the first times in month penetrate the grey skies bathing the young couple in what seems like holy rays enforcing their message further as a large golden-clad man stands behind them. Debris lays everywhere, fires are burning, bombs and artillery are shelling building not many blocks away and Dark Eldar Mandrakes are on the prowl slaughtering whoever they see fit. Dark Eldar raiding-parties are penetrating the front everywhere, flying away almost overburdened with prisoners if they just doesn't have competitions of who can hit a flagpole with small children impaling them just to demoralize their Imperial opponents with bodies defiled and mutilated.

Yet here they are safe, they have their leaders. They are young, they are promising and despite being nobles, they are far from debauched. The crowd is carried away, they are whipped up in a murderous fury by the young man's battle with the Eversor, he is their champ, they would have gone for his odds facing down any enemy of the Imperium of Mankind no matter who.

Meanwhile the assassin just slinks away, he walks towards his fate scaring whoever he crosses paths with.

Whoa. Thats really good! Great referance btw

TheRobotLol wrote:Whoa. Thats really good! Great referance btw

Glad you liked it, and my pleasure.

Not long after the events near the Governor's Palace Carrus and Ionza stood on the opposite sides of a double-row of civilians too old or sick to fight outside a ruined cathedral. The battleship-grey skies loomed over them, bombing-runs from the Dark Eldar was common as the much more technological superior aliens established their dominance over the sky. Their swords were drawn, a slight nod from Kelkaris got Ionza started. One by one she lopped the head of the citizens useless to the Imperial cause. It was a hard thing to do for the young woman, barely twenty, pregnant with their firstborn son and daughter yet she fared better than her beloved who hesitated as he stood there lost in thought.

Kelkaris came over to the young man, he saw the grief written on his face. "I understand this is a hard thing young commissar, but you know you have to do it." Kelkaris smiled warmly making his voice soft, from the little while he had spent with him, he had seen how talented he was. A million men had stopped retreating due to his and Ionza's presence forming a deep and disciplined defense where every building was a fortress no matter the size. The Dark Eldars paid in blood everything they went near them. With the Inquisitor's prompting Carrus raised his sword, and beheaded an woman who reminded him of Mother Joanna, her lifeblood bled out on the ground as he proceeded decapitating an old man as his second while his mournful expression and whispers of "In the Emperor's name I absolve your sins." before everyone he had to behead as he took great care in making this unpleasant affair at least right.

Eventually Carrus and Ionza met up, over 500 bodies had been executed the ground was slick with blood and heads with painful expressions. Carrus' pained expression said it all, this war really took a toll on the young man who had turned twenty just prior to Ionza. She kissed him making him smile. "Carrus my dear, don't be sorry, you gave these civilians a far better death than the Dark Eldar or natural causes could have given them." She wiped blood off her sword as she said that, Carrus just stood there, sword in hand locked in a world of pain. He just nodded.

"Commissars?" Both snapped to attention as Thomas Smith entered the scene, boltgun and sword as his main weapons, though only boltgun in hand of the grey-black Storm-Trooper uniform, the cloak hung over his shoulders making him easily trail into the shadows just like any other Shadow-Tiger. He was followed by similarly dressed troops, though they all customized their equipment to a great extent without any reprisal from the commissars.

Regaining his composure Carrus spoke up. "Yes Smith, what is it?" His face hardened, as he cleaned his sword. "Stremm want us to trap this catedral...and *he swallowed heavily due to the nearby Inquisitor* ehm evacuate the relics-" Kelkaris was shocked, he stared down at Smith who squirmed as he stared at him, fists on hips making an imposing posture. "You want to loot this most holy cathedral?" The voice from Kelkaris was angry, his face reddened as he was certain this was heresy.

"Inquisitor Kelkaris, if I may?" Ionza asked, he nodded. "The church has relics yes, but the alternative is much worse, the relics in the hands of the degenerate Dark Eldar or heretics." She could see Kelkaris thinking as he was scratching his jaw, so she continued as she sheathed her sword with a sweet smile. "At least with this regiment we have control over who has what relic, the only viable solution left is to destroy the priceless Rosariuses or let our soldiers use them." Kelkaris nodded, then spoke. "Originally I planned to burn you on a stake Captain Smith, but Commissar Ionza has convinced me otherwise, it's a go." No sooner than the words were spoken a blast shook the cathedral, it was from the inside, Shadow-Tigers poured inside moments later they emerged with Rosariuses around their neck.

"I shall pretend I have never seen this, but this is the only alternative commissars." He snorted as he walked away hearing Carrus go off at Smith over the matter, he wanted a good long chat with colonel Stremm, yet he couldn't kill the brutish man as he was the only one who could plan good against the Dark Eldars, still he wanted the looting of relics to be a tad more discrete as the regiment were heroes and it was a hard job for him covering up their looting. It wasn't Carrus' nor Ionza's fault, as as flawed they were, they had bravely committed themselves and followed orders. The blame were squarely put on Harken's shoulders, who at least was on good behavior due to an Inquisitor being present, and of course the kids were back in his life.

Kelkaris entered the HQ of the war-effort, it was little more than a ruin, a table of cheap wood with maps spread all over, some wobbly wooden chairs placed around it, the room was dimly lit, the guards on the outside was of the Bluebloods. Around the table stood Stremm and Harken alongside generals in more adorned uniforms. Their rank meant nothing. Ionza had made that abundantly clear when she whipped Lord-General Kvador to death on landing-day after he overstretched his forces, and cost the lives of over 100 Shadow-Tigers due to misplaced bombardment. The entire general-staff was witness to that. It didn't end happy for Lord-Commissar Ludvig van Clunck either. He screamed that Ionza had no right to kill a Lord-General, and should die for that. Carrus disagreed (of course) and punched the man so hard that his head just caved in and with so much force that his armoured fist exited out of the back of the man's skull, showering every general present with brainmatter and shards of skull.

The leader was without a shadow of a doubt James Stremm, which Harken stood next to, they all stiffed up, giving stiff military salutes as Kelkaris entered the war-room. "now the looting of your regiment Stremm is not allowed, is that adbundantly clear?" Stremm just nodded. "And Harken, you are in charge of discipline, you must enforce that Carrus and Ionza doesn't facilitate the looting they are involved in right now." Kelkaris pointed accusingly right at the chest of Harken. He was setting his mark on the high-command as Harken nodded looking rather nervous over at him.

They were planning a very deep defense, the Dark Eldars had gotten reinforcements, many of them. The human cost was already in the millions, if not in the billions. Ionza's brutal idea of killing anyone unable of fighting was followed everywhere (with the omission of children if doable), yet she was known to at times boobytrap injured soldiers for the Dark Eldar to find. Kelkaris had shrugged over the idea, and Carrus had protested it's use as too brutal, but it often saved a PDF-regiment as the Dark Eldar had to be careful with taking prisoners as more than one had fanatically detonated themselves taking their comrades and often captors as well with them.

The Dark Eldar Archon Alnndor Dagoth had long liked to raid the mon-kiegh for slaves and it was a pleasant relief from the Dark Eldar court with the simple-minded mon-kieghs as his enemies. They reacted slowly to everything, and were just playthings for him. Especially was his lust for teenagers great, torturing them gave him pleasure, despite their crude emotions, endless pleasure had driven more than one totally insane, then he tore into the chest, poured out the beating heart and ate it. That part was the part he liked the best about the crude beasts, but many died before he came so far, their senses burned out, often their crude hearts failed them. Lhamerans was his other pleasure, they could withstand the pleasure and find new ways for that pleasure.

He stood there flanked by two Lhamerans dressed in the finest websilk, they were as beautiful as they were evil, both had long black hair, perfect skin, black lips, they smiled innocent smiles not revealing to the shaking mon-kiegh teenagers what pleasure and horror they had in store for them. Most were in PDF-uniforms, they had surrendered against the orders of the commissars.

Suddenly one of them lunged at the Archon. A Lhameran and five of his bodyguards launched themselves at the young female. They all exploded, only the advanced shields saved Alnndor Dagoth as the explosion tossed him into the wall knocking him out.

Several minutes went before he recovered, the room was a smoking crater were it before had been a room of pain and pleasure with the finest carpets lining the floors, deviant pictures of depravity on the walls, a king-size bed with the softest black websilk as the bed-wear. It was all gone, only a smoking crater with scattered body-parts of mon-kieghs and Dark Eldars.

He staggered outside. The Incubi standing guard was absolutely shocked, they had noticed nothing. "Who searched the mon-kiegh?" He glared right at one of them. "Zel-Harim my liege." One of the white-helmeted black armoured Incubi answered him. "Give the filth to Haemonculus Hralarich who just have gotten himself a new toy." Dagoth made a dismissive posture as he gave the Incubus his orders and he left immediately to wrangle in the female, he looked forward to help to torture the Bloodbride as he walked down the jagged corridors of the ship. Often mon-kiegh intestines lined the walls as disgusting living decorations, other places mon-kiegh-corpses was displayed in grisly fashions, or heads were put on stakes with pained expressions, Cruel Deliverance had once been an harmonic Eldar battleship, but that was eons ago, now it laid crippled in a mon-kiegh hive-city, though it was rapidly getting repaired.

I like it

Chapter XI.

"Hold the line men!" Harken's harsh voice barked over the master-vox, as both of his bolters snapped, unhealthy screams of Khorne-worshipers getting shot to pieces roamed around him as the berzerk humans charged against the lines of the Imperials in the hive-city. Heavy bolters barked and artillery-shells struck as they voxed in orders for it. Harken watched Stremm down a Valkyrie, perverted to serve Khorne with his heavy bolter. The large red star on it's sides denounced it as a traitorous vehicle.

They had served together on many a battlefield before. They usually fought were the fighting was the densest. Other places lasgun-shots were fired from shades towards the confused berzerked humans, who fell in droves thanks to precise lasgun-fire.

One of them finally got into close range with Stremm. It was more a fluke than anything that he reached that far as the snipers led by McLandi took out any stragglers. Didn't matter, Stremm took a casual backhanded swipe with his powered fist, and the cultist with the remnants of a greyish PDF-uniform with a large red star painted on exploded in a mist of blood.

"Bah those cultists are hardly a challenge even up close." Harken sliced two brain to balls apart sheering through their raised weapons with his large powered swords. An autocannon blasting the landscape caused the Shadow-Tigers into cover, but it was quickly silenced by McLandi as the team soon had a fist-sized sizzling hole where their head and helmet used to be.

Still they came, McLandi fired many shots from her concealed position, often shooting in the style of her pupil Ionza going for gruesome wounds instead of just headshots. "Captain McLandi here, shoot to maim, shoot to main. Over." With her calm voice she gave the call, and her snipers answered her call by aiming at knees, crouches, lower torso and such places at the fanatically insane cultists.

Their shots did little to stem the flow, but now Stremm dropped the bomb, ordering in the Zylvanian reinforcements. They weren't happy as they arrived in their dark-purplish armour quickly taking cover with commissars and officers roaring at them.

"You are in command of the field now." Stremm told the commander of the Bluebloods, a rather large fellow, yet he was absolutely dwarfed by Stremm and Harken. He looked surly at them, as the Shadow-Tigers were quickly falling back leaving them to deal with the horde.

Yet they stopped in their steps when a Blueblood's head came flying by with an extremely agonized expression. To their shock they saw something they hadn't anticipated. A horde of Bloodletters came charging through the shadows. The Shadow-Tigers began concentrating their fire on the Bloodletters, while the human cultists mostly were targeted by the lasguns of the rapidly deploying Bluebloods cauterizing their sizzling wounds.

The first Bloodletters reached throwing-distance for Stremm and Harken, who threw a brace of the Prometium-Silver-grenades they had gotten from Carrus (containing silver and fire in order to beat the shielding of things like rosariuses as well as the supernatural). Their surprise couldn't have been greater, where there before were a dozen Bloodletters charging them, only one quite wounded remained.

"Blood for the-" Harken just dodged under the swipe of the demon, then it disappeared back into the warp as his large blades impaled the Bloodletter who let out a confused grunt before it disappeared into the warp. "Wish they could come up with a new phrase, the one they do speak is boring." Harken saw Stremm's grin as he spoke the line. Then Stremm took out several more of the demons as the heavy bolter was packed with blessed bolts. An artillery-strike did away with the rest of them, along with a few thousand civilians caught in the crossfire (which was always a concern).

"I assume the battle is won?" Harken looked at Stremm, he smiled glumly. The smile was tired, the front he was fighting on was uninteresting and his opponents weak and boring as they were fighting around the starport. Stremm merely shrugged. "This battle should be won, we have everything under control here. He had a whole different take on this enterprise. He smiled happily as he ignited a new lho-rod. Here they only had to worry about the stupid charging Khorne-worshipers who just ran towards his lines of battle with little heed. Their cohesion was picked apart by the expert snipers under McLandi. Here young PDF-ers could get quick combat-experience as they risked little, it was not like on the other side of the city.

There Carrus and Ionza huddled, Dark Eldar Voidraven bombers flew overhead, bombarding Imperial forces and civilians alike. Mandrakes prowled in the shadows which scrared more than one Imperial soldier into heart-attacks from abject terror, this was hell, this battlefield was gory. Booby-traps was now second nature to the men and women fighting there. Wyches shot down from their bombers prowled the streets as individuals. Often massacring over one hundred soldiers before stopped in gory massacres. And worse, there were the Bride of 10.000 deaths there.

It was the Succubus Dirach'Nyrr, a beautiful, twisted Dark Eldar woman, the hair was golden, her look was without flaw, always wearing a small thong and bra, but nothing else. She had butchered the 867th. Tanibus PDF in one single day. That was over 10.000 men, who had fallen to her beautiful blades, all in close-combat. Often dying with erotic cries of mixed pain and pleasure on their faces. She proved that when she fought the arrogant colonel, a man in his prime, 29 years old, known as a master swordsman. One of few who had bested a Wych. She toyed with him for several minutes, while the rest of his unit tried to fire at her, the elegantly dressed male was slowly taken apart by her. His last minutes were the worst due to their sexual nature, and also due to her devouring his soul. So much to fight for, so much glory, yet it was only a pale whisper compared to a much stronger soul reported to be out there.

Very good

TheRobotLol wrote:Very good

Thank you.

Dirach'Nyrr sensed something new and exciting as she let the mon-kiegh she had just raped go out of his life with excruciating pain. It was not one soul, it was two, which puzzled her. She smiled an infuriating smile as she saw something else. Raw psychic prowess, a Lord of Change. She could sense the power of that beast as i blew apart a chunk of the hive city, having just been summoned by cultists in a desperate attempt to stem the flow of Dark Eldar and the loyal guardsmen Carrus and Ionza already began to have a mythical reputation for disciplining.

They had followed the fight themselves, between the enrapturing Succubus and the doomed regiment, led by the arrogant colonel Ted Marxus, which had had foul words towards Carrus for his risky plan to evacuate civilians. Carrus wanted to just use them as a buffer between the military forces, and in accordance with Ionza and Kelkaris wanted to just evacuate the civilians under five, as they could easily be indoctrinated to the Imperial Creed, while older people could just be handed a gun, shoot a shot and die s

That mattered little now as a frenzied Lord of Change had arrived, the church it had been in blew up in a storm of raw psychic power, a nearby PDF-regiment was too close, and when the tanks blew up, they fled, but not before Ionza sniped most of their officers for routing, which made the rest sell their life costlessly, yet they delayed the demon as Carrus led his scout-force in accordance with Kelkaris nearer to the greater daemon, hoping the meltas and melta-frags could work as they slinked through the differencing ruins of the broken city, the skies were eeringly black, rain and thunderstorms were approaching as could be heard from a distance.

For Dirach'Nyrr the demon was an irresistible challenge, she charged towards it with a mix of elegant jumps, twisty dodges as she was under fire by Ionza who plucked down less able Wyches with her long-las at fantastic ranges while being impossible to spot for even the Scourges, and she began inflicting a hard toll on the Haemonculi who often were there to pick out civilians for them to experiment on.

Yet it was the Lord of Change Dirach'Nyrr had interest in. It sensed her, just as it made a Baneblade go to hell with the power Whirlwind of Change, morphing it endlessly before it exploded in a colorful blast taking with it over 1000 guardsmen.

"I shall look forward taking you on demon." She spoke in the demonic language of the demon as she approached the great spawn of Tzeentch, it was a purple-colored beaky servant of his clad in sky-blue robes, the soulless black eyes, great wings made it look like a very twisted version of an angel. It then spoke. "Really my dear?" Both had enthralling beautiful voices, the female's voice was so sweet and pleasing to hear that most just laid down their lives for hearing only one breath from the slight young Dark Eldar woman (saying something as she was over 5000 years old), while the masculine voice of the demon was full of promise and ambition, hearing it made people see their desires met, their enemies punished, they were all to be fulfilled by this terrifying creature.

"Well here we go." The creature pointed it's long staff towards Durach'Nyrr, and fired out a bolt of Change. The Succubus dodged just in time as part of a building exploded behind her from the bolt. Then came Warp-Lighting, it missed the Dark Eldar who sped towards the terror in front of her at the narrow street. She jumped, blades stretched out, the demon moved for an attack, but the swirling and blindingly fast attack from the demon missed while the Succubus' attack hit home as the Lord of Change growled desperately with pain.

It sent forth a new Bolt of Change, which missed, but it brought a spire crashing down, with over one thousand inhabitants trapped inside. Then it swung the staff again for the Succubus, but she cut under the blow and made her blades sing up into the belly of the beast.

She went on to attack the Lord of Change's heart as it sprayed the area with daemonic ichor, yet none had hit Dirarch'Nyrr. She moved too quickly as she danced between the increasingly frustrated blows of the abomination infront of her. Whole areas of the city was flattened as it tried more and more desperate magic to get rid of the frustrating Wych.

None worked, the demon screamed in pain as a wing got cut off, now flight was out, it tried with Warp Mind, but it missed wildly, only turning some distant Wyches to turn on each other, before their Hekatrix slaughtered them for their weakness.

The Lord of Change swung the staff for the last time, but instead the Succubus avoided the sweeps and skated down it delivering the final blow as she let her Husk Blade penetrate deep into the heart of the creature which exploded in a blinding light.

Dirach'Nyrr certainly savored the taste of this victory which her enrapturing smile on her black lips showed, she knew she had given quite the show for all three sides of the conflict and was the mightiest warrior her, maybe even in the whole universe. They had seen her, the golden-haired bringer of pleasure and doom.

She quickly slinked away as Ionza's shots began coming way too close for comfort (or rather became increasingly difficult to dodge), and she saw that her fellow Wyches started to waver even retreat, she had to restore order before she was all alone.

Chapter XII.

Dirach'Nyrr fell back, the shots of not one but three mon-kiegh snipers fell far too close for comfort for her, and one time even her Shadow-Shield had activated. Also she now had to worry about a towering Grotesque who came gunning for her. The crude marks at it's face-mask showed that the inhibitors had been hit at an expert-manner as they had overloaded. Behind it laid several Haemonculi and Vracks, all killed in grisly fashions by the rampaging creature. It was slaughtering members of the Mon-Kiegh Slaughter Militia, corrupted mon-kiegh who had been captured and now served as meat-shield and mercenaries for the Dark Eldar.

She hated the notion that the weakling mon-kiegh should serve side-by-side with her in any battle, yet she was pragmatic enough to see the merit of it as the most debased members of that puny race indeed had some merit which she saw as they often were quite impressive in their depravity regarding the many civilians caught in the cross-fire. She almost smiled as she heard the familiar sound of a massacre of a family mixed in with other cruelty.

Yet she snapped back to attention as the Grotesque charged at her while the weapons fired, missing her narrowly. She skid backwards until she found an opening in it's defense, then she with cat-like grace poured through the swiping weapons and syringes carefully avoiding them before she cut the berzerked creature in half.

She knelt down to examine the head of the creature as she in the corner of her eye saw Slari'Oraliah her second in command and also a Succubus got sniped. It was the same type of longlas-shot that had pestered her all day, and which damage had become quite unique as she recognized the burn-pattern. She quickly ran into the darkness of the city which the mon-kiegh called the Forbidden Zone due to only Dark Eldar and those truly black of heart could thrive there.

The sniper was Michelle Ionza, hidden from view, she took out yet another foul Xeno for her own future's sake, never mind that of her soon to be husband. She smiled glumly as she saw the las-bolt from her gun punch through the face of the beautiful Succubus totally destroying it, yet the cauterization made the skull eclipse the shot in a strangely beautiful fashion.

The two commissar-snipers Jatme and Higgins also followed. They were responsible with their sniper-teams for much carnage against the Dark Eldar in the city as Higgins had quickly learned the ropes from Jatme after Carrus had married them onboard the Heritage. Now he was a fully-fledged member of the Shadow-Tigers. With his own Lucius-pattern longlas, pelt, blackish sniper-garb, powered sword and his very own Rosarius, it was of a skull-pattern.

He smiled a bit as he sniped a Dark Eldar who had exposed itself as the leader of the pack, it was split in two, and laid on the ground screaming. He remembered back at how the drunken Carrus had one day entered his quarters. With meltagun in hand he had yelled for the nearest priest to be awoken. Behind him followed a grinning Ionza. He could still hear her shrill laughter and the phrase: "Carrus and me have deliberated." Then she had smiled wickedly like she always did when she had hatched something which Carrus would accept and do, while she would laugh about while standing ready with her bolter cocked right behind him. "It's time for a meltagun-wedding, so get dressed turtle-doves." He still shuddered thinking about the laughter which followed from both of the senior commissars after it, as he and Jatme still laid beneath their duvets trying to cover themselves in the junior-officer cabin.

The fancy new weapons and gear both got was wedding-presents, he had come to love Jatme who despite having very alive parents was educated by Ionza into how to becoming a good commissar. Originally Higgins was to be assigned to the scouts as he was the best-friend of Carrus, yet he was quickly drafted over to the small sniper-force Ionza was responsible for disciplining, leaving Carrus along with over 1000 men and women to discipline, in addition to his other duties when it came to the Bluebloods.

Jatme herself laid inside a broken church, she took out a Wych Beastmaster with her longlas, effectively cutting a gaping hole through the body of the creature, while the Warp-Beasts went nuts and charged into a squad of nearby Scourges, ripping all eight apart. She grinned a bit as she took pot-shots on a few of them as a squad of Wyches next charged them in order to put them down making sure the carnage was at the maximum near a broken Schola Progenium.

Carrus, Kelkaris, McHendrix and their squads of scouts were also trailing Dirach'Nyrr. They wanted to stop the lithe sensual creature before she claimed more lives. Still they were near the Forbidden Zone. Turncoat PDF-ers became incredibly common-place. But that was not the only ones, many soldiers had gone insane from the violence they had seen and started going down the dark path of their enemy.

Carrus finally stopped as he saw a gang of sociopathical troopers murder a family and molest a small girl. He immediately was amongst them, his sword struck left and right in a rain of gore and blood, the melta smashed two into a wall behind them, the impact killed them on the spot. He smiled friendly to the girl as he holstered his weapons.

"Take her back to the..." He hesitated as he saw the golden eyes of madness of the girl and the forked tongue, he rapidly went for his laspistol as he felt one of his monofilament-knives got drawn.

He was quicker, he pulled the trigger while his other hand prevented the blade from being drawn. The golden-haired little girl fell to the dirty asphalt, gunshot-wound completely concealed by her hair. "Blasted psyker." He whispered. Then he looked over at Kelkaris who was frowning. "Present company excluded of course."

He watched around everyone seemed upset. He sensed the girl was still alive, so he drew the Bringer of Insanity and with a rapid strike separated head from body. He saw the body heave as he let go of his laspistol drawing his melta instead disintegrating the body and head to remove the trace of the corruption.

He rapidly turned around concentrating on the Inquisitor as he drove him to a wall due to him being the most dangerous potential enemy as he was a psyker. Kelkaris squirmed and struggled dazed and confused. Carrus saw that and let him go. He spoke quickly as his life depended upon that. "Sorry Inquisitor Kelkaris, but the little girl I rescued was touched by the warp, and sort of seduced you all." Kelkaris looked confused back at Carrus who at one side had dared to pin him to a wall, on the other side he saw the similar stress himself suffered due to what had just transpired.

"It's okay, we will call off this wild Grax-chase." He dusted himself off. "lest we endanger ourself further here at the Forbidden Zone." Now he knew why Carrus was feared, the man had spotted the corruption in the girl far faster than even he as an Inquisitor could do. And he had stood tall inface of it unlike himself and everyone around, as he proved himself ready to execute him without a moment's hesitation.

His chain of thought was broken as he heard McHendrix yap. "Fallback, we are getting out of here." Even Kelkaris heeded that order as they slipped back towards the Imperial lines.

A short while later they found a place where they could rest. Carrus gave Kelkaris one of his food-pills. He saw the look of disgust go over the face of the Inquisitor, he took one himself. It didn't taste good as he seated himself next to the Inquisitor giving him a lho-rod. He ignited it with his laschisel. Then ignited a lho-rod of his own.

"What about the Asartes?" He looked quizzingly at the large man who drew down smoke from the lho-rod. "Couldn't they be of use against these devils?" Carrus looked insecure, he saw McHendrix entering the building, the snapped the fingers of his left hands and pointed aggressively at the entrance, wanting him out.

Kelkaris smiled a warm smile back, patting with joy on the lho-rod. "Relax young commissar." He grabbed the lho-rod between two of the huge fingers of his left power fist. "You can stay Lieutenant Mchendrix." He stretched. "I have used Astartes twice. First I used some related to the Ultramarines, looked all good." McHendrix smiled as he got a lho-rod from Carrus. "So whats the catch?" He patted with leasure at the rod, he had been the only guy present not turning to the witch except Carrus.

"Good question McHendrix. Well they insisted we should evacuate everyone, lets say instead of 3.1 billion dead the Imperium of Mankind lost two more worlds and over 100 billion dead." Kelkaris looked sad, yet relaxed as he spoke. "Genestealers infected the populace, and spread further aboard the ships, then the Tyranids followed them." He sighed. "Or at least that what I think happened, as no other explanation makes sense." He saw both the officers of the Imperium shudder. "Ah, and if we used them, then we could wave goodbye to artillery and airstrikes right Inquisitor?" Carrus spoke fast, Kelkaris nodded with a slight smile.

"The second time, I used Flesh Tearers." He held up two fingers. Carrus cut in. "Logic say they did something we don't wanna know, right Inquisitor?" Kelkaris just nodded. "We should get going, it's getting late and this is not a position I want to defend." McHendrix finished the conversation as he trailed towards the exit, they still had a long way to go before being safe as Dark Eldar were everywhere with their turncoats while the small scout-team was out of reach for Imperial support. The only trace they left was three lho-rods in a corner of a ruined building. McHendrix didn't know it, but the quick action from Carrus regarding the Inquisitor had saved his life.

Returning to the Forbidden Zone where Dark Eldar Spires had on record-time replaced the cruder towers the mon-kiegh constructed Dirach'Nyrr smiled without pleasure. She had been beaten back by crude mon-kiegh. One of her Shadow-Fields were depleted. A scorch-mark on her shoulder was a permanent scar she needed Hraldraich the Haemonculus Ancient to remove. She shuddered, he was never to be trusted. She passed the Incubus-Pontifex Xel'Aggaddon her former lover who was wrangling in Zel-Harim a beautiful Bloodbride with raven-black long hair, an elegant gleaming white Wych-suit. She had been known for her well-famed skill with Shardnet and Impaler. Yet that had done little difference as the Incubus was one of the finest at his art. He had simply dodged her weapons and knocked her out cold. Now he was dragging her in the dark streets towards the Haemonculi-Coven Shattered Souls which Hraldraich presided over.

"So my Bloodbride finally got caught for her treacherous ways?" The question from the lithe Dark Eldar Succubus was half-way between a question and statement as she decided to walk with the tall and lanky Incubus. His armour had many runes of protection inscribed at it. That was a gift from the Farseer Taldarim for a fateful century of protection. Over his left shoulder hung the limp body of Zel-Harim, at his right was the handle of his Hellblade which he had taken from a Bloodletter he had personally strangled to death after it killed his Archon and broke his Klaive. He had two Shadowfields which he had taken from two Archons he had bested in combat after they had destroyed the Kabal he served with in close-combat. He stopped as he watched her behind his angel-white mask, his golden eyes narrowed.

"She committed treachery, and I'm gonna mete out due justice whether you like it or not princess." He spoke coldly, with a particular frost at his last word. She smiled warmly to him, touching his right shoulder with her small feminine hand, stroking it softly. "Have it been this long love since we-" He brushed off her hand. "Look Dirach'Nyrr, once I loved you, but you betrayed my love, we had 400 great years together, we raised a dozen Dark Eldars together all which to my pride is still alive and serving with the Trueborn." He looked at her with badly concealed contempt. "Yet you returned to your disgusting ways abusing the mon-kiegh, that I can't forget not forgive." He loomed over her threatening his Tormentor was aimed straight at her. "So please step aside witch as I have much pain to inflict on the future Grotesque hanging over my shoulder."

She was reluctant in seeing her former lover head into the Haemonculi-Coven. He was so young for such a lofty position, not even a full millennia old. Yet he had despite never even having the ruthless ambition of his peers been swiftly elevated to it at only 742 years old. The Incubus-Praetor his second in command of the Incubi-wing was over 3800 years old, he was known as Blackstaff the Backstabber due to the many Archons he had breached contract with and letting die. Yet he had never dared even thinking of betraying Dagoth due to Xel'Aggaddon's presence.

Dirach'Nyrr knew her presence was needed as her Wych-cult was in disarray, she missed his presence as he was one of few of the Dark Eldar that rarely needed to show his prowess in battle due to how formidable he was as a warrior. She sighed, closing her eyes. She remembered when she hired him. He was only 183 years old then. Never was it easier to run the Wych-cult than with him around. Only three coup-attempts over a 400 year-period was a record low. She had seen the strong-willed young Dark Eldar form his reputation without the glory most Incubi wanted. She had joined the alliance with Dagoth only due to the Incubus which she wanted back as her consort.

She finally entered the ship and the elegant throne-room of Dagoth. Numerous Incubi stood there including Blackstaff, with his gleaming black Glaive, and all-black Incubi warsuit. That suit was as black as the putrid soul of that Incubus. Where Xel'Aggaddon was noble and honorable, Blackstaff was opportunistic and cruel. She looked at Dagoth seated on his throne, lesser Archons and Succubi also were present, including to her surprise Hraldraich. She saw the black-robed creature with tentacles underneath. He made her skin crawl. She didn't even bother to make a curtsy to Dagoth, nor his oldest son which was little better than his dad. Both had the classic grace and beauty befitting Eldar, yet their hearts were only wicked.

"The mon-kiegh have resisted harder than anticipated." The Dread-Archon Jatulga spoke up. His voice was thing and seeped in evil, his depraved old face had merged with his Hellmask making his face into a parody. From his belt hanged the head of the Wolf Priest who had fired the plasma pistol destroying his good looks. Archon Dagoth's eyes narrowed over such a statement. "We all know the cause gentlemen and ladies." Jatulga continued, he was the leader of Kabal Murderous Wrath, and quite a mighty creature. When he spoke even Dagoth listened. He activated a hologram, showcasing Carrus and Ionza.

"Those two are nothing. Just a couple of mon-kieghs." Dagoth sneered as he went forward to the table. "Their efforts in inspiring the rest of the cattle is feeble at best, you know that Archon Jatulga of Kabal Murderous Wrath." He paced around the table standing eye to eye with the leader of the rival Kabal. Jatulga just grinned a bit. "I will give 14.000 slaves to whoever brings me the head of either mon-kiegh, and 30.000 if alive." Dagoth swallowed heavily, then he made his counter-offer. "From me I will deal the Incubus Xel'Aggaddon the Twin-Maker if both are brought to me alive." The entire courtroom gasped. Offering Xel'Aggaddon was way too much for just two mon-kiegh. Dirach'Nyrr looked cross, but she quickly recovered. "I will give fourteen nights to whoever brings me the male, and seven for the female, pleasure and survival guaranteed." She looked around knowing both male and female in the room lusted for her.

"Guaranteed resurrection for both alive." Hraldraich spoke up, his croaking voice resounded in the room. Gasps followed. Dirach'Nyrr looked shocked over at him, she remembered with horror the fourteen nights she had spent with him to ensure her own resurrection. The bidding for two mon-kiegh souls was rolling. Yet only three offers mattered. It was Dagoth promising Xel'Aggaddon, Dirach'Nyrr with the promise of 21 nights and Hraldraich offering resurrection, which he was particularly skilled at as none resurrected be him yet had mutated.

Meanwhile Xel'Aggaddon laid Zel-Harim at a torture-chair. She was awake, she saw him remove his helmet, he shook his head, glistering black hair flowed out. His marvelous and beautiful face was shown, the golden eyes shone at her through the darkness, his perfect lips smiled a smile you had to know him to know it was wicked. "We have a few things to discuss." He fastened her arms and legs to the chair. It was a special chair, only Hraldraich was allowed to use it, and Xel'Aggaddon of course due to his position as Incubi-Pontifex. The Bloodbride screamed in terror of the pain she then received as he started to use the device to torture her in the deepest dungeon on Tanibus Alpha. She was on her first step to become a Grotesque as the Incubus mercilessly took her sight.

Chapter XIII.

Xel'Aggaddon returned to the downed Void-Stalker. His steps were secure, he smiled glumly as he walked int the dark halls of the hallowed vessel. Slaves and other Dark Eldar swiftly let their gazes down and scurried out of the way of the dark Incubus. He cared not for them, he walked to the throne-room of Dagoth. He had only taken the offer to avoid Dirach'Nyrr. Underneath his helmet his face was locked in a grimace of pain, she had dared to enter into an alliance with the Kabal Dagoth, and worse she went seriously ahead. Only his love for the children they had fostered together kept him from snuffing out her life. The Incubi guarding the door despite being more than twice his age quickly ushered him through as they didn't want anything to do with him.

He closed his eyes. He remembered when he was appointed Incubus-Pontifex. He had just finished 100 years of service to the Eldar Farseer Taldaris. She had etched his armour in protective runes because they had sired four children together. He thought back of the love he felt for them, she had replaced Dirach'Nyrr in his heart. He had entered the hallowed halls of the Incubi-Shrine. They had almost fought a civil war when he came through the door. He remembered the argument between Blackstaff and Jerisk like it was yesterday.

"I should be the Incubus-Pontifex as none have more experience than me." Blackstaff had told Jerisk, as both prepared to do battle, drawing their glaives reading themselves for battle as Jerisk barked back. "You are only a Backstabber Blackstaff, barely worthy-" His words were cut short as Xel'Aggaddon entered the hallowed halls to his shrine. Both were his senior in age, but not ability. Everyone fell silent in the dark shrine dedicated to Khaine. Xel'Aggaddon had stood like a walking question-mark. He understood nothing. 212 Incubi looked at Xel'Aggaddon. He summoned his soothing voice.

"Can some please in Khaine's name explain what is going on here?" His politeness didn't break as he got up to were the two senior tutors of the Incubi-Shrine stood, both ready to attack each other. His old tutor Nariach so old that he couldn't even move without ache jumped onto the stage.

"Maybe we need some new blood as our Pontifex?" he croaked. Every Incubi present had been trained by the ancient Incubus-Majoris. He was so ancient that time had lost meaning, he could barely manage to support the Incubi warsuit, yet he was the finest fighter amongst them with the exception of Xel'Aggaddon which he approached.

The next move shocked Xel'Aggaddon, the old man raised his fist, them he proclaimed. "Do anyone here really think they can challenge Xel'Aggaddon first honored by Khaine, then by our strayed brothers and sisters the Eldar, then me one of the first twelve Incubi?" A roar hit them both. Both the two senior Incubi backed down as they had no desire battling him.

His eyes opened, he was standing in the throne-room of Dagoth. He scowled beneath his angelic white mask glad to know nobody could see it as he laid his glare on Dirach'Nyrr. He wanted to just draw his bloodthirsty sword and just murder her straight ahead. Yet he beat the thought away when she spoke.

"Xel'Aggaddon, you should see this." She lead him over to a nicely draped table. He glared right at Carrus and Ionza. He closed his eyes. The runes of his armour glowed, he could see battles against the male commissar, glorious battles. He smiled without effort, he loved the sensation of them both locked in a mortal battle, yet neither yielded nor was defeated. He saw himself striking at the male with all his strength, Hellblade with all his fury, it was blocked by the male, he then had to dodge the blast from the clanky gun the mon-kiegh. "Mon-kiegh?" He whispered it to himself. "Scrath that, he is not a mere mon-kiegh. He is an enemy to be honored, a commissar." That he said out loud, loud enough for the effete court to hear. He glared straight at the hologram sensing the many battles he had ahead of him with the human.

He removed his helmet, giving it to Dirach'Nyrr who looked quite nervous near her former lover. "I don't care for any bids made for either commissar, both are mine!!!" Then he slammed his fist so hard into the black void-table that it broke. He grinned wickedly as he had just staked his claim on the territory as he retrieved his helmet.

Then he halfway turned, one hand with his helmet the other pointed a finger straight at Dagoth. "If anyone ever refer to both commissars as mon-kiegh within me hearing them, so help me Khaine. I will slaughter that person be them Archon or Succubus and even Haemonculus." He left no uncertain terms that they were his to take as even Hraldraich balked under the gaze of the young Incubus-Pontifex, and quite visibly. Never mind the rest of the court.

He looked at them, all were silent, if possible the faces of everyone present, yet even the Mandrakes feared him, his cape were made of the skin of over 100 of them which he had defeated in the defense of his children. He was feared as a Mandrake-hunter due to how he had crept upon them. All of his kids carried a lock of his hair as a ward against the Mandrakes on their left little-finger, several Dark Eldar Archons of significant means also carried such artifacts around their little-fingers as that was often purchased for massive costs. It was rumored even Vect himself had that hair woven into his little-finger, but that rumor couldn't be confirmed nor denied.

Xel'Aggaddon left the throne-room, he recognized himself in the male commissar, and Dirach'Nyrr in the female, yet they were different. Unlike him and Dirach'Nyrr he smelled not just the lust but also the true love between either, he so looked forward to cross swords and words with the male, he knew he would cherish the fight with him in such a degree that when he closed his eyes he saw the fights happening. Both evenly matched, both flying backwards as their powerful blades met in epic shockwaves sending them crushing through walls, and both sneering returning to action. He even saw the commissar disabling his helmet. He grinned not caring one bit, he wanted to hunt down the young human commissar. Human sounded odd in his head, yet that commissar was not a mere mon-kiegh.

"So young commissar, what's next?" Kelkaris spoke to Carrus who looked back at him, they had just escaped the Forbidden Zone. Carrus was surprised due to the tone of the Inquisitor. Ionza entered the small marketplace she smiled with a slight grin. "Anything wrong Kelkaris?" She checked her scope, aiming it right at him. "No, I-I just-" Kelkaris was cut off by Carrus, who lowered her gun with his right hand. "No harm is done, sorry Inquisitor." He swallowed heavily, everyone present could see the war had took a toll on the young man as he was pale and lacked his usual glow. "I don't know what to do next, I'm only-" His words were cut short as Kelkaris laid his right hand at his left shoulder while he smiled gently.

"Don't apologize young Carrus." Carrus nodded. "Apologizes are for weaklings, you ain't a weakling." Carrus looked up at the fatherly expression Kelkaris had. He smiled back at the hulking man. He was about to share the emotion, yet explosions snapped all three into action. The thrice-cursed Dark Eldar were attacking yet again. Both Carrus and Ionza immediately yelled out orders to take cover as they jumped into small ditches. The Inquisitor followed immediately landing next to Ionza who shot a Dark Eldar Dracon right in the face sending his unit reeling back to be massacred by the Wyches behind them for cowardice.

Carrus threw a Prometium-Silver-grenade at the squad of Wyches closing in on his command-squad from behind a ruined wall. The prometium and silver detonated maiming seven of them. The last three were quickly brought down by Ionza's longlas. The city was alive with battle, lasguns and splinter-rifles fired non-stop. The cries of the wounded was horrific.

Dread-Archon Jatulga and his squad of Incubi closed in on the squad Inquisitor Kelkaris was leading. They were sweeping through a squad of experienced and skilled humans in close combat. Xel'Aggaddon was dueling the colonel leading the squad.

The man had five degrees of swordmastery. Xel'Aggaddon smiled beneath his mask, the colonel was damn experienced, but far slower than him. Every outfall the male made was easily thwarted by the Incubus.

A scream stole his attention. From the corner of his eye he saw Carrus entering the fray. He split an Incubus brains to ball, while the next was turned into sludge as Carrus shot him with his melta. A third lashed towards Carrus with his klaive, but he just sidestepped and then Ionza impaled the Incubus.

Jatulga then struck at Carrus who dodged the blows. He continued his rapid attack, eventually his agonizer and huskblade got entangled low holding off the Bringer of Insanity. Carrus countered. He brought up his meltagun, he struck it right at the head of the Archon. With a revolting crack the face cracked open as the meltagun's muzzle sheered through the skin, bones and brainmatter. He then with the Archon hanging on the gun proceeded to turn 90 degrees firing the melta. One more Incubus was dead as Carrus shook off the Archon.

Xel'Aggaddon slashed the colonel in half. Then he leapt at Carrus, who stood with his side towards the Incubus who struck at him with a force and speed that seemed impossible. Yet by some miracle Carrus parried the blow, despite defending his left side with his sword carried in his right hand. The flaming blade of Xel'Aggaddon came dangerously close to the face of Carrus who swiftly turned to a better defensive posture as Xel'Aggaddon struck a low blow at Carrus who again parried as he knelt down. He was even forced back a few feet as he slid in the rubble due to the force behind the blow.

Now he counter-attacked. His melta blasted two times, both were misses as Xel'Aggaddon again closed the distance. Both men struck, their swords met. A black fireball formed as the daemonic weapon of Xel'Aggaddon met the blank-powered blade of Carrus. They were slung a few meters away crashing through concrete-walls.

They recovered immediately and charged each other again. They now stood toe-to-toe exchanging blows with blinding speed. Until Carrus finally spotted a weakness in the defense of Xel'Aggaddon. He came with a surprising high swing with his sword, only the instinctive jump back saved the head of Xel'Aggaddon, but only just. The tip of the Bringer of Insanity hit the bridge of his nose. His Tormentor helmet was destroyed.

He removed it. Carrus immediately quipped. "Damn I thought you wore helmets because you are ugly." Xel'Aggaddon smiled a bit as he didn't answer just struck yet again at Carrus who again parried the blow. The he was lucky as Carrus again discharged his meltagun, and he barely managed to move out of the way.

Again they both struck as hard at each other as they could, the unnatural energies of their weapons cascaded into another black fireball sending both men flying back through walls made of concrete and glass. Xel'Aggaddon landed inside a bakery where the customers immediately fled, while Carrus landed inside a bank, pulping a robber. He got up as he casually shot the rest of the robbers while he said. "Seriously there is a war going on and you have time to enter the bank, and even more odd rob it. Emperor I will never understand human nature."

He exited the bank taking another swing at Xel'Aggaddon's Hellblade. Both men snorted and snarled as their blades met.

The fight made the rest of the fighting seem insignificant as more and warriors instead took interest in the fight between the great warriors of each race. Carrus had never been so pressed in any fight before, he used every trick in the book and all the wisdom him training since he was a small boy with the harsh tutelage of the mutant guards of his dad in order to keep up. For Xel'Aggaddon, this was indeed worthy prey, he smiled. Yet he was soon to be very impressed with Carrus.

The Dracon Blatay snuck up behind Carrus intent on taking him out from behind with his husk blade. That was not to be, Carrus split the man in two, heart to hip with a backhanded swipe. The glow in the golden eyes of Xel'Aggaddon said it all. They said. "Nice job boy." Both smiled.

They started to laugh as yet again a black fireball erupted sending them reeling back. They immediately charged each other, now Xel'Aggaddon spoke. "You fight *grunt* great Commissar Carrus." It was in Low-Gothic. Carrus looked surprised, yet he rapidly quipped back. "So do you Dark Eldar. What's your name?" He spoke while his attack finally got him out of balance. Yet as Xel'Aggaddon rushed in for the kill, he instead was hit by a combo from Carrus of no less than 73 strikes in extremely rapid succession which had Xel'Aggaddon reeling back until a new fireball emerged slinging the two combatants several meters back.

Now they both looked around, the battle had stopped, everyone was watching their titanic fight. Yet they both charged each other yet again, with big frakking smiles on their faces as even Carrus who hated war above everything else had gotten the duelist in him awakened by the showdown with the Incubus.

"My name is Xel'Aggaddon, commissar." Xel'Aggaddon's Hellblade again met the Bringer of Insanity in a cascade of black sparks. The blades met again which resulted in yet another black fireball tossing the warriors back.

Now Xel'Aggaddon landed inside a bakery yet again, Carrus rapidly entered the shop looking for the Incubus. He found him, the Incubus sprang out of a cake. Carrus laughed loudly. "When I get married, you are certainly not coming out of any cakes Xel'Aggaddon." Their weapons met again. Xel'Aggaddon saw Carrus had hanged his melta on his belt. Instead he had drawn a long monofilament knife which he skillfully dual-wielded which he he noted as Carrus launched another intensive attack with both weapons against the Incubus forcing him to dodge and block the attacks who rained from the fleet-footed young commissar.

A Valkyrie landed nearby, it had flown in low and fast, out came Harken and Stremm, they saw with shock Carrus tax his abilities in single-combat to the max. He blended in 71 different stiles of swordsmanship, which all were showcased in the duel as he produced something akin to a black wall of steel around him.

"Mother mercy. How long has they gone at it Commissar Ionza?" Stremm had walked over to her noticing everyone had stopped fighting, and was watching the duel. She glanced at her wrist-watch. "At least half an hour colonel Stremm." A new black fireball emerged casting Carrus right before them, he snarled as he charged Xel'Aggaddon yet again trying a new combo of about fifty strikes, before Xel'Aggaddon forced him back on the defensive with several savage blows making Carrus reel.

"And at this pace?" Stremm scratched his head, he saw Carrus jump under another blow from Xel'Aggaddon, yet when he tried to capitalize on the advantage the Dark Eldar parried his thrust, next he saw Carrus was lined up for a killing blow. He dodged it, the wall behind exploded as Xel'Aggaddon struck with his Hellblade.

Then they saw a greater threat. It was A Keeper of Secrets. Xel'Aggaddon called over to Carrus. "No offense most honorable foe, but I will rather fight the Keeper of Secrets. So truce?" Carrus breathed ragged as they stood back to back with a wall between them. Until the duel it actually was a building, but not anymore. He grinned widely. "I hate anything about Slaanesh, so truce Xel'Aggaddon."

Chapter XIV.

Artillery-fire shattered the two fighters of first class. Carrus scurried into a pot-hole of his own, while Xel'Aggaddon forgot all his dignity as he covered in a small ditch, even desperately digging. Anything less and he would be dead as many an Ultramarine who choose to weather the storm in favor of taking cover. Kelkaris' experienced eyes caught wind of them both, he saw them, they weren't fighting, they laughed both of them. Yet this simple act from Carrus was far from enough to condemn him. He saw the young man scrounge for cover, the place was slowly getting to be a beaten zone due to Ionza ordering in artillery-strikes which obliterated the Keeper of Secrets as it was far too large to cover anywhere there.

Meanwhile Xel'Aggaddon skulked back towards his own side, the artillery-barrage meant only desperate sprints across the broken landscape was possible. He again covered in the ruins of a huge human spire, it was broken, it broke during the downing of the battleship, which laid broken amongst the ruins.

He closed his eyes, he remembered back, to the days he was a mere Incubus-Sopos, which was an insultng term used for Incubi-in-spe. Despite his fabulous skills he was still regarded as that. He didn't care, the beautiful dark-haired beauty, with golden eyes, pale complexion, towering over most Dark Eldar with the exception of himself, and also with a delicately sinful grin across her face.

Xel'Aggaddon remembered well the female Incubus that first took his heart. He was barely out of puberty, which was only slightly longer than the mon-kieghs, yet he was so full of promise, which he had showed from day one. He had once been seen off into the arena, his lips curled up in that decadent pleasure.

He remembered it well, Lisah'Matar the beautiful girl he had fallen in love with was taken away from him. She defended her honor well, yet against the fury of the Incubus-Overlord Nash'Gorin it was little, he saw the talented young woman in one swift swipe get decapitated by the Incubus Overlord who just snorted out an insult. Infuriated Xel'Aggaddon despite not being 50 years old touched the pillar of doom. He touched it. It was the challenge of death, he saw the contempt written in the face of Nash'Gorin, the far older Incubus drew his klaive just as Xel'Aggaddon held his clear in the middle of the arena who swiftly formed around them in the sand of the black Incubi-shrine.

Nash'Gorin made the first lash with his long Klaive as sparkles flew when Xel'Aggaddon dodged with a slight smile. Both then struck blows towards each other, yet they produced little as Xel'Aggaddon again gave ground to Nash'Gorin who came at him with save strikes with his own klaive all offensive which was in accordance to the philosophy of Nash'Gorin, the tall Dark Eldar smiled beneath his white Incubus-mask as young Xel'Aggaddon struck back.

The strength and speed of the attack surprised the Incubus-Overlord as he reeled under the blows from the Incubus-in-spe who relentlessly attacked time and time again forcing his superior of age to actually run for cover.

Xel'Aggaddon smiled smugly, he had the much older Incubus backing off, he tore his helmet off. Then he barked an insult. "Where have you learned fighting 'honored ' master?" He struck again sending his master reeling back cutting him. "From the mon-kiegh?" He grinned with satisfaction as Nash'Gorin snarled back, and unintelligibly was struck down by a savage blow by Xel'Aggaddon, landing back first in the black sand underneath him. He had been bested, by a kid no less. 4000 years of battle-experience was beaten by a mere Dark Eldar-boy which took enormous pleasure in sadistically disembowel his hapless target.

He saw the youthful Succubus Dirach'Nyrr, she had always loved young males, it was indeed rare to see her not with a different date every night, usually her dates were never seen again, but many risked it as she was known for her acts of pleasure. He smiled back to her holding up the head of Nash'Gorin with a clenched fist at the hair of the man.

He remembered how she had seduced him, that was all the fake sympathy she could muster. He was sitting inside his tent. She entered.

"Most honorable Incubus I'm sorry for your loss." She had dressed in a simple red latexy bikini, her pale body was perfect for it, as always she was barefoot, sensual, she smiled a confident smile as she entered the black tent of the young Dark Eldar.

He smiled back. "Thank you most honorable Succubus, I'm honored that you makes me our company." Not long after that they found themselves beneath the sheets making love, but that's another story, and they had over 400 solid years together.

Seeing as you have apparently decided to ignore us I am taking the liberty of replacing all of my posts in this thread.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Stay back." Carrus called out to a group of Kasrkin, who was about to charge a group of Warp Beasts. He shot one of the purple-furred horrors dead with his melta. "Come here beasties." He then swang around the corner of a broken building as the Wych-Beastmaster fired his splinter-pistol at him. The shards from the pistol smashed into the dark wall Carrus was covering behind. That gave their leader ample time to aim her hotshot lasgun at the beastmaster and slay him. More shots followed and more of the Warp Beasts fell to the red-hot lasshots the Kasrkin rained with a precision not normally seen in humans. Not of them reached their line.

Carrus swiftly covered the ground over to them. He looked into the pretty female lieutenant's brown eyes. She was tall, fair-skinned, black long hair, helmetless, one eye was bionic though of high-quality which he saw clearly from the dark green hue of it, the face had a few scars and her natural eye was blue-tinted, yet not with the soft blue hue of him. "Nice shooting there lady." He grinned looking at the heavily customized hotshot lasgun. It had much in common with the longlas his love Ionza tended to carry around giving him support from afar. "Thank you Lord-Commissar." Her voice was gravel from many years of lho-smoking, it betrayed that her age was far older than her looks pointed at.

He grinned as he dusted himself off. "I'm no Lord-Commissar lady, I work for a living." He got out a cigar-case from his greatcoat, opened it getting out a lho-rod which he then ignited with his laschisel as he continued. "Rank and name lady." He looked disinterested at her as Ionza with Kelkaris in tow entered the ruin the elite soldiers were covering in.

"Name is Helena Jameson. Rank lieutenant. That's all sir?" She stood straight like an arrow infront of him, he only offered her a lho-rod, which she took, letting him ignite it. "Name of your unit and their number?" Carrus spoke without showing any emotions as Ionza walked over to him. She glanced over at the much taller woman's weaponry, a black-blue hilt hanging from a belt in a camouflaged scabbard hinted to a powered sword, a hotshot laspistol was holstered at the other side. She grinned wickedly as if she had came up with a brilliant prank to play on them. She smelled the lho from Carrus, looking a bit remorseful that she couldn't smoke herself.

Behind her Kelkaris followed, his expression was set in stone, the Kasrkin all averted their eyes from him. Not Carrus who immediately embraced Ionza giving her a smoke-filled kiss, letting her savor some lho for once during her pregnancy. He smiled teasingly at Kelkaris. "What's our next move Inquisitor?"

Kelkaris looked hard back making Carrus straighten himself up. He threw a hasty salute at the Inquisitor. "Commissar get the info out of the Kasrkin." Then Carrus turned on his heel, making a threatening gesture to Jameson, pointing his right index-finger straight at her. "You still haven't answered me. Name, number and number of troops lieutenant. I want the answer in this milliennia, not the next." She swallowed heavily dropping the lho-rod due to the sudden shift in mood from the young commissar. Ionza then spoke up. "Out with it girl, time is wasting, we all want the answers today without adding a ninth action in order to drag it out of you."

"41st. Kasrkin. We have around 5 million Cadian Shocktroopers at the planet, along with 10.000 Kasrkin, under Lord-General Steffen Elmhaug." She looked nervously at the three high-ranking Imperial officers as she spoke, she shouldn't be so nervous, yet both the commissars made her twitchy, nevermind the Inquisitor. He spoke then. "Commissar Carrus about the fight with the Xeno...." He looked skeptical at the young man.

"Yes Inquisitor?" Carrus bowed his head. Kelkaris smiled a soft smile. "You took pleasure in the fight right boy?" Carrus just nodded, he was nervous about the Inquisitor, despite being a representative of Ordo Malleus in the form of High-Inquisitor Selpid's foremost agent on Taldaris Alpha. "No wrong in taking pleasure in a worthy challenge Carrus." He laughed softly wondering how things would turn out at the hellish war-zone were the two commissars had saved his life at more than one occasion already.

Ionza then spoke. "It seems like they have a psyker with them." She pointed behind her, smiling. "I guess I can disregard-" He shut up as a burly Kasrkin came dragging a grey unhealthy looking creature. He was scrawny and lacking eyes, his head was bald, and had many scars mostly from lasgun-butts smacked into it. "Do it!" Kelkaris called out to Ionza.

Ionza reacted immediately, up came her bolter. She slammed it into the chest of the burly Kasrkin who fell back right on his butt. "Look man I have no issue with you, but the Emperor's most holy Sanctioned Psykers tends to work a tad better when treated with kindness." She was angry, she couldn't stand people mistreating the psykers. She changed her tune as she helped the brown-clad psyker on to his feet. "You fear the commissars, the ones you should really fear is the psykers. This one can tear your soul away and toss it into the warp, essentially sending your worthless soul to hell." She glared right into the the eyes behind the visor of the man twitching on the ground. "Do you wanna see what the hell a psyker can do when ordered soldier??!! DO YOU!!!???" She screamed the last part. "N-no Lady-Commissar, my apologies." She snorted, with a displeased look on her face. "Apologize to the man you have offended, not me." She halfway turned from him. "As flattering as the notion neither me nor Commissar Carrus are Lord or Lady Commissars. We are just Commissars as we ain't promoted to that rank yet." Already at that tender stage they were considered Imperial heroes with a reputation far greater than their simple deeds had pointed out.

Carrus meanwhile aimed his melta straight at Jamesson. "This is a commissarial order Lieutenant Helena Jammesson. The Sanctioned Psykers are not to be mistreated. Anyone caught doing that is to be flogged 39 times for first offense. 78 times for the second, and until dead for third time." He smirked. "Though I have yet to meet anyone that can survive 78 floggings." Then he tilted his head backwards.

"Any insight from the Inquisition on the case?" He smiled well secure that Kelkaris would support him. He came up next to Carrus holding up the index-finger of his right hand. "Lets see. First offense would mean until a third action, *the thumb came up* second until sixth action, *his middle-finger came up now* third time would be just skipping straight to a ninth if I just doesn't have Carrus or Ionza behead you for being an idiot near an Inquisitor which is a capitol offense."

Carrus and Ionza laughed low and uncaring at the statement from the mighty Inquisitor who smirked himself as he found them to be effective threats in holding the men and women of the Imperial Guard in line. The three went a bit away from the Kasrkin they had just taken command of. "Kelkaris about Lieutenant McHendrix." "What about him?" Kelkaris answered with his voice low and cold, the disdain for the man was obvious for all to see. "Do you want me to kill him?" Carrus gave Kelkaris a rare offer as he preferred to use his whip instead of a gun when it came to punish anyone in his command-structure, which definition rapidly widened due to the chaos fighting in the capital against the Dark Eldar but also against human insurgents and worse demonic forces.

"Give me a good reason for keeping him alive." Kelkaris responded flatly, then Ionza spoke. "If I may?" Kelkaris nodded. "I have less than good thoughts about the man himself, but he is the responsibility of Carrus who is the commissar for the scouts, so I'm my humble opinion Inquisitor let Carrus judge whether or not to keep the man alive." They sheltered together as a small advance-force of Dark Eldar came upon their entrenched position.

Ionza skulked away to find a better sniping-position as the Kasrkin started raining down precise hotshot lasfire. Carrus and Kelkaris butted in now and then, Kelkaris usually for larger groups with his stormbolters, while Carrus targeted the heavily armoured targets with his melta, while he casually downed three Wyches with his laspistol. Still the Dark Eldar-force advanced unrelenting until Ionza's sniping started to ring home. She had a knack for picking the leaders which fell one by one ruining the cohesion between the units.

Dracons and Hekatrixes might be the most dominant of their order, yet that dominance was what Ionza picked up, though she had help by Jamesson who were quite the sniper herself. That was evident when an extremely enthralling Hekatrix led a grouping of maybe 100 Wyches. The Hekatrix was right in the middle of a leap, yet Jamesson fired a single lasbolt at the jumping Wych. It went straight through her head which promptly had quite the nasty hole in it, while she fell to the ground.

"Nice shot girlie. Carrus over." Carrus called into the vox, having seen the almost impossible shot, he himself pulverized three Kabalite warriors with his melta, two more followed as he darted from cover to cover firing both guns, relying on Kelkaris to tear apart the larger groupings of Dark Eldar with his stormbolter. "It's not my shot. Ionza out." Ionza told Carrus. "It was my shot. Lieutenant Jamesson out." Jamesson told them to their surprise. "Nice shot anyway lieutenant, it goes a far way in saving your life from the wrath of the Commissariat or the Inquisition, Kelkaris out." Kelkaris gunned down several Dark Eldar as he ended the vox-conference. The Dark Eldar were poorly led. The were the remnants of the Murderous Wrath, which Archon Carrus earlier that day had pulped with one stroke with his meltagun.

The attack was disorganized, and it didn't help that more snipers from the Shadow-Tigers had taken positions were it happened. Artillery-strikes from the humans rained down on the Dark Eldar who charged ahead often distracted by civilians caught in the open. The disregard Carrus and Ionza showed for civilian life was callous as many refugees were caught in the open. Ionza even sniped some of their number just to distract the Dark Eldar, usually to see who ordered them back into the action so she could snipe that person. The ruse worked, Dracon after Dracon exposed themselves for her to take out, with her longlas, or through artillery-fire she cared not, though she found it great fun to watch the "OH NO!!!"-expressions from the Xenos as a Manticore-missile landed in their midst nano-seconds before detonating.

Carrus was no better, he opened a trap-door down to a dark cellar, inside it was a few families cowering. But also a squad of Kaballites which he likely could have taken out. Instead he tossed two Prometium-Silver-grenades down the hatch and took cover while the room was showered in fire and silver with the shrieks from human and Dark Eldar alike as the brutal young man's grenade tore them apart. Kelkaris watched dejected at Carrus, his mouth opened as he spoke.

He spoke. "I wish we could have saved-" Carrus tackled him, a Hellion swore as he missed the two humans. That was his last action as Carrus shot him with him melta still laying atop of the Inquisitor. He got up. "Yes Inquisitor, it's most unfortunate that we doesn't even have time to consider saving the civilans." He shot another few Dark Eldars before he helped Kelkaris onto his feet, then they got into cover, which was very wise. The Dark Eldar realized how much Carrus and Kelkaris was worth, and rained down a murderous fire around them both. Luckily they managed to shelter in a broken bunker. Even the Darklances was dispelled by the thick concrete of the bunker, anyone coming close met rapid death through the hotshots of the Kasrkins.

The psyker himself sent lightning-bolt after lightning-bolt at the Dark Eldar. He felt oddly secure as his mental shields repelled any damage. Seeing the two commissars stand up for him was great. He perched himself right atop a ruined church, Darklance and splinter blasts sizzled away as they hit him, but without penetrating the mental shields he sat up. "Karamartalis, extra IMPERALIS, Kra-ZOM!" He called out, loudly. A huge strike of lightening erupted from his fingertips blasting away Xenos, yet oddly enough any humans caught in the blast survived. His confidence was sky-high, his shield ate up the energy of four blasts from a Splinter-Cannon, before Ionza sniped the man firing it. He laid twitching on the ground, a hole was were his face of the beautiful, yet brutal Trueborn-helmet once were. The squad broke their honor and fled the field.

The short skirmish was over. It had played into the Imperial hands, yet it had showed the weakness of the characters of Carrus and Ionza. Their willingness to murder civilians was disturbing, that was at least what Kelkaris thought, yet their brutal tactics worked.

Carrus approached the psyker while he reloaded his melta. He grinned though the eyes remained mournful for what he had recently done and seen. "Name Psyker?" He spoke clearly to him. "Jarcar my liege." He knelt before Carrus. "No need for that honorable Jarcar." Carrus grabbed hold of one of his arms gently pulling him to his feet. Looking into the empty eye-sockets of the psyker. He sighed. "I shall have your regular vision restored Jarcar along with your looks, no human deserves a fate like this. Kelkaris came up behind him, he was more pale due to the nature Carrus had showed in combat. Kelkaris was just a Theta-level psyker with mainly defensive abilities. Jarcar by far eclipsed him as a strong Beta-level psyker, but the file showed him to be a weak Delta. That had led to much mistreatment of Jarcar who was about 30 years of age. His saviors had oddly enough been of the occupation which had caused him the most distress, commissars.

"Excuse me, lord Carrus, may I speak?" He croaked. Carrus nodded with a smile and gesture as Ionza walked into the scene. "There is a psyker of immense potential only one click north of here." Carrus looked skeptical at the psyker. Ionza spoke up instead. "We should retrieve it, it can be useful." It was obvious that Ionza was the one caring about the psykers, Carrus just tagged along as he was oddly neutral towards psykers. He really had no opinion where most thought of them as abominations while Ionza was a fervent believer in the Polypsykana which Kelkaris himself also supported.

Carrus just turned to Kelkaris. "I know this question to be stupid before I ask, but do you have any Black Ships nearby?" Kelkaris just shook his head. Then Ionza made a surprising move. "Psyker, can you by any chance hold down the prowess of the nearby psyker?" Carrus looked surprised, yet he said. "The man is named Jarcar, but the idea can work if the psyker nearby is young enough." He looked over to Kelkaris, he remembered not with pleasure when Ionza stopped a pogrom back at Freudakia in order to find out if there were a Black Ship nearby. He ended up having to execute over 1000 of them in a single day as punishment from Harken. That was pleasure he wanted to avoid at all costs. "No I don't think it can work. Sorry Jarcar, take the psyker out." Kelkaris spoke, Jarcar reacted. A bolt of dark energy flew from his mouth evaporating the psyker he felt. They then quickly entered a nearby church to avoid a bombing-raid.

On the way Kelkaris spoke to Carrus as they ran through the ruined streets. "I will allow you to keep your lieutenant, but I will warn you, I would have killed him was I you as I don't trust him one bit." "Thank you kindly Inquisitor, and sorry for the tackling." Carrus voiced back as he ran. "Don't be, I'm glad you had the courage to do it, if not I would actually be very dead." Kelkaris told him in a stern voice, but not without a smirk.

.

I suspect you have a good reason for an Inqusitor, someone who can order the destruction of entire worlds, shows deference to a lowly Commissar, and allows them to address him in such a manner.

.

Chapter XV.

Two years earlier. The skies over Schola Freudakia loomed black-grey over the the place. Heavy raindrops hit the panorama-window of the palace-like crest towering over the execution-place. Harken and Natrax stood there, looking outside in the classically decorated office of Harken with scarlet carpets lining the white marble-floor and fine paintings of exclusive nature dotted the marble-walls with bookcases and drinking-cabinets. The furniture was exquisite and finely crafted, fine wine was on the nearby table. "Don't you think he is pushed too hard Commissar-General?" Natrax spoke as he ignited an expensive Ciralixian lho-rod. "Yes sir I do, but it was not my order." Harken answered, then sighed as he took a deep puff of his own lho-rod. "I assumed it was your order James." He glanced surprised over at his former mentor.

The fine doors swang open, in came Ionza. "Why the hell has you assigned Carrus to execution-duties?" She looked desperate. "He has just turned 18 and he has killed over 10.000 civilians over the past weak, I demand-" She stopped as Lucius towered behind her, seven armed, two was meltaguns, a multimedia had been added were his chest once were, the mere sight of him made ordinary people shudder with fear. Both Natrax and Harken tried to avoid showing their insecurity around the unnatural Tech-Priest. Unlike Ionza who had clad herself in a fine black and purple silk-dress, and the two headmasters clad in exclusive silk-uniforms he wore a plain redish robe.

"Master Lucius, sirs." She bowed before him, before she scurried to the side knowing she had to stay now instead of just asking a simple question as Lucius only dealt with people through her and Carrus. "Anything you wanted to ask Michelle?" The piercing red lasers the human robot had for eyes peered at her under the red-brown robe, he towered over her. "Yes Master Lucius." She paused a bit throwing a glance over at her two other mentors, allowing herself a selfconfident smirk as she saw their less than certain expressions. "Why is Carrus at execution-detail, all three of you knows he hates it." She breathed preparing to further elaborate, but Lucius just raised his hand. Then he poured Ionza some fine Freudakian red, giving her the glass, before he poured himself some.

He savored the wine, almost smiling. "Carrus is close to a breakthrough with his meltagun." His metallic voice made the hairs of anyone present stand up on their backs. He raised his glass almost like he was toasting Carrus. "Just watch dear girl, he will achieve a breakthrough soon." He laughed a little, a harsh metallic laughter never meant to be spoken aloud. "How so? He seems closer to a breakdown." The glare from Lucius' laser-eyes made her close her eyes. "The meltagun." Ionza had figured it out. "You want my boy to complete his bond with the melta, and that is the only way." She grinned, igniting her own lho-rod. "Plus it has the bonus of not making him hesitate when he is to execute innocents, which he does now."

A transport meanwhile was landing with more subjects for Carrus to execute. He spat on the ground a few meters infront of him. "Stand the subjects where I marked." He took a deep sip of the fine Freudakian White he favored when he had to do long-haul executions. The guardsmen lined up the subjects averting their eyes from him. He stood there looking up towards the office of Harken. They were dry and warm, he despite wearing an uniform specially designed to be water-proof was soaking wet and freezing cold.

"Line them up two by two, twelve long column." The soldiers adhered to his orders with speed and alacrity. Cal Simpson walked up to Carrus as he threw away the wine-bottle. He saw the anguish at the face of his friend. "Carrus sir, are you sure-" He shut up immediately as he saw the war-weary babyblues of Carrus, they did nothing to conceal his foul mood. His mood was no better than the miserable weather.

"Am I sure about what Cal?" Carrus barked. "Out with it, I have some sinners to absolve of their sins." He reloaded his meltagun with ammo from a nearby table. "Carrus, I mean, both the Commissar-General and the Headmaster would listen to reason-" Simpson spoke again, he looked at the furious cadet-commissar everyone forgot just was a cadet. He saw suffering etched into the face of his closest friend. Carrus interrupted him.

"Do you take me for a fool Cal?" The voice was angry. "I know perfectly well who is behind this hellish order." He snapped his fingers underneath the nose of Simpson. "It's Lucius the Tech-Priest, these civilians are sinners against the Deus Mechanicus, and it's my solemn duty to absolve them of their heresy." He stretched with his 16 kilo heavy meltagun, it was heavy for him.

Then he turned, it was drawn. He walked over to them, for each he whispered. "In the name of the Emperor and Deus Machinus I absolve you of your sins." The young commissar looked depressed and fatalistic to the job, his face was set in endless disgust. This was why Harken liked having him lead cadets in their first executions, he never shrank from his duties, yet he always hated it and always made sure it was done right despite him often being extremely drunk when it happened as he tended to use the wine to cope with numerous executions. Unlike with Ionza executing a person was not natural for him, and his tutors tended to pressure him where they tended to encourage Ionza.

He walked back to his firing-spot. His melta fired. "Frakking Emperor!" He swore loudly as the stock of the melta snapped with his gun recoiling into his chest. "Dammit!!" He roared as he picked up the gun yet again. Lucius had installed a pistol-grip on it, yet he had the stock on the gun despite Lucius' protests because he was certain he would break his hand again like when he was 16 when he first time fired it one-handed.

"Carrus, you don't-" "Shut up Simpson!!!" Carrus growled. "Shut up or join the civilians on the firing-lines." A loud white blink followed with a ear-shattering blast. "SILENCE!!!" Carrus screamed the order, it seemed like nothing but his voice could be heard and the rain stopped. His index-finger pointed straight at Simpson and Higgins. "Commissars does not shriek in abject terror for lightning-strikes!!" His back was turned to them, yet he turned his head. "Do that again and I will flog both of you." The rain started to pour down again.

"As for you civilians, I don't know nor care what you are interned for." He sighed. "I'm just your executioner and the one that will absolve you of your sins." The rain continued to pour down on the soldiers on the ground underneath Harken's office bombarding the grey-black building with an endless downpour of water. Inside Lucius saw Carrus perfectly, he saw him heft the 39 cm long gun one-handed. "Watch it now. He is starting to believe." His metallic voice was almost sweet. Ionza grabbed a binocular, watching Carrus as well. She sighed with her sweet voice. "My poor boy, so much he has to suffer just to become what he is shaping up to be." She smiled bittersweetly knowing this was a short-term pain for a long-term gain.

Carrus took aim with his meltagun raised like a pistol. He fired it. It hit home perfect, 24 more heretics was sent absolved of sins by him to the Emperor. They barely registered their pain as their souls left the martial world as Carrus fired his meltagun for the first time in the way he would be recognized in the future. More followed shortly after.

Then he turned to Mack and Higgings two close friends of his. "This is an excellent opportunity to give the 12 year old commissar-cadets their first innocent kills. Awaken them at once and have them brought to the Execution-place." He showed less pain now, he had absolved two dozen heretics of their sins without hesitation. He ignited a lho-rod with his laschisel. "Simpson Deus Mechanius finally saw fit to make me and my melta as one." With surprising ease he hefted the heavy gun one-handed. Where most had trouble handing the clanky gun with both hands, he now handed it like it was a pistol in one hand.

He then addressed 24 other civilians, saying. "I'm Commissar Zachary Carrus for this Schola, for you I'm you executioner and absolver of sin in the eyes of the Emperor and Deus Mechanicus." No sooner had he spoken the last syllable he fired the melta without hesitation ending their pathetic lives.

He stretched as Simpson handed him another opened bottle of Freudakian White. He was wobbly on his feet, his eyes were slurry and he spoke with a very audible drunkenness, yet it helped him cope as he stumbled inside to meet with Ionza and the three guys that could give him an order at the Schola Freudakia.

In the fine room Lucius almost brimmed with pride. "See little Michelle, he persevered. Carrus now is one with his holy meltagun due to the blessing of Deus Mechanicus" He clinked his fine crystal-wineglass with Ionza, both saying "Cheers." as they celebrated that Carrus had lost his last vestige of innocence and gained the true trust of his favorite gun.

Eventually Carrus reached the office of Harken. The fine doors swang open and he was taken in. Where the others were in their finest gear, Carrus had not changed, he was soaking wet, which he showed when he removed his commissar-cap and shook his longhaired head violently spraying water everywhere. "Master Lucius." Lucius turned to him. "Yes Commissar Carrus." He almost smiled he knew the question, it tingled him. "Can you remove the remaining stock on the meltagun Master Lucius? It seems like the Deus Mechanicus finally showed me the true purpose of me having this most holy weapons." Carrus asked, not a tiny bit nervous, he knew Lucius had saved his bacon countless times, and would always do so. "Of course I will Commissar Carrus, but first a toast for you newfound ability." The Tech-Priest handed Carrus a beautiful crystal wineglass filled with fruitful 44 year old Freudakian Red a very exclusive year, which Carrus grabbed, then clinked his glass with every member present.

"Toast for my meltagun, Deus Mechanicus, the Emperor and Freudakia." Carrus called out with a wide smile, while the sentence was repeated by everyone present before they sipped of the fine wine. Then Carrus handed off the meltagun to Lucius, and grabbed Ionza pulling her over one of his shoulders. As Lucius walked off with the gun, he called out. "Well me and girlie will retreat for tonight headmasters, unless there are any protests." Ionza giggled. Harken laughed harshly. "You have a day off, enjoy kid." "Make it two." Natrax emptied his glass as Carrus carrying a laughing Ionza exited the office.

Ionza is a cadet, yes? What is she doing screaming at a Commissar General?

Carrus just turned 18 and killed 10,000 civvies in one week, what? That’s just silly.

Is he really holding a 16 kilogram gun in one hand?

I would love to have Kanluwen read this entire thing. He'd be thrilled.

How in gods name could you personally kill 10 thousand civvies in a week?

Practically speaking, HOW?

.

.

.

One thing I can say right off the bat is "show, don't tell." While its not wise to think of your audience as geniuses, they aren't idiots either. They'll be able to figure out character relationships and even history by themselves. Another thing I can say is a bit figurative, but "always do the math," If I create a city for one of my stories, I sure as hell make a map for it on my computer. There is nothing more careless than having a building lie on the east side in one chapter and the north in another.

In essence, I'm saying consistency matters. Its probably the most important thing in any story, whether its technical consistency, character consistency, or tactical consistency, it all has to match.

Finally, and this feels like nitpicking, but meltafrags are ridiculous. A melta bomb will vaporize any shrapnel that is created. Its too hot.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Writing and putting it up for others always presents you with the same dilemma: Do we listen to the masses, or do we do what we like best? It's especially testy when applied to 40k and its ilk.

.

BrookM wrote:Writing and putting it up for others always presents you with the same dilemma: Do we listen to the masses, or do we do what we like best? It's especially testy when applied to 40k and its ilk.

Good point. And tempers can flare, I have accidentally sat up more than one writer myself even when polite heck even witty with feedback, and according to some Detroit Red Wing-fans I'm actually clinically insane because I have dared pointing out the ridiculously low amount of stars that doesn't resign with the team that has drafted them. I once had a really unprofessional writer hurl all sort of insults at me because I dared pointing out that charitable and classy ain't the same thing.

Just like to point out that the Schola doesn't just produce killing machines, but also more mundane fields of work such as for the Ecclesiarchy, Adeptus Terra and the Munitorum. You'd have to be pretty heartless to assume that orphans need an even crappier life than they already have!

Back around 6 months ago, when I had about 100,000 words in my Dawn of War 2 story, I got an editor. The very first chapter I gave him was about 8,000 words. An hour later he sends back a massive page filled with mistakes. It ended with "X scene can stay. Redo everything else."

There was no politeness, no praise. He knew I could do good work, and after I fixed it, it was. After all, why even provide criticism if an author can't write? Praise in criticism can detract from what needs to be said, even if the author doesn't want to hear it, it will usually improve the work.

.

Beaviz81 wrote:AK praise in criticism is a bad thing, with praise I meant praise first, then criticism. Of course it can work without the praise, but I generally like to do that unless asked to not to do that. It's just my style.

It doesn't matter what your "style" is, if you want to get anywhere in fiction you need to man up and take criticism.

You also need to actually LISTEN to criticism rather than just agreeing and making no changes.

.

Congrats my fellow DCMs! (Brookm being the exception)

You've made us all look like a gang of [edit] trolls[edit].

Beaviz though i gotta admit there are alot of Fluff Errors and some Over Hyping, the writing reads pretty darn well.

If you've got decent craft you're 99% there. You've just got to remember that 90% of criticism in the fan fic world is going to be canon based. You've got to be incredibly meticulous in that department.

Thanks Perkustin. I'm in the process of removing the Space Marines totally from the thing (that is the worst part in my mind), I have gone with mutants (it was basically the remnants of an old and discarded idea I hadn't yet bothered with altering due to lack of alternatives) for now, not sure about the end-game as it sort of sucks having the big secret being mutants, it clings a lot less good than Space Marines as a big secret, but the latter have no place in my fluff (due to me being totally unable to not kill them by the dozen at the first opportunity I get).

And I will basically make them acting like jerks due to the command of Kelkaris who is a grumpy old man with no time for niceties and needs them to bully people just to keep the front-line in one piece (mind you they are commissars, and I got complaints about commissars bullying people of all things). And that feedback was very much appreciated, as it at the very least was polite.

Any particular areas you feel to add some input Perkustin?

Perkustin, it has nothing to do with being a DCM.

People are just giving their opinion on the fluff, presumably why its been posted here in the first place, and are offering there comments and critiques.

Nothing to do with being a DCM?

Taken from the DCM forum:

MrDwhitey wrote:

BrookM wrote:

purplefood wrote:

MrDwhitey wrote:My tale of woe for the day.

I read some fanfiction.

I now want to remove my eyes with a spork covered in salt, and then eat them. Whilst singing Yankee Doodle.

I also read this Fanfiction...
It is a sad day in the land of Purplefood...
The daily parade was very subdued...

Do we even want to know?

Sharing is caring

After this 'Hilarious' post DCM traffic to this thread increased exponentially.

Thats right Beaviz you are the subject of a cruel dcm joke. I am sorry to be the bearer of this news.

Thanks Perkustin, in hindsight this was a valuable experience, and I will draw from this.

I am more likely to get in trouble lol. Some of the DCM's posts had decent feedback though. I just resented the fact certain parties were just in it to try and troll you.

[edit]All while laughing behind your back on a private thread you could not access.[edit]

I admire anyone who has the balls and the determination to write anything so i was disgsted by their behaviour and had to let you know.

Yeah they brought up good points at many points, and congrats I was stupid enough to let myself get trolled. On the other side they bothered to give it a throughout read so it must be decent enough, and it provided me with a valuable lesson in what to do when people in not very nice terms comments about what I writes. So I will draw that much from the comments and derp, and at least it led to me removing the Space Marines, and the stupid melta-frags, plus I changed how Carrus and Ionza was around Kelkaris, so there came results out of it, and in a twisted way I actually think I shall draw strength from this as several DCMs bothered to give my fluff, from a quite subpar writer the time in the spotlight with many good suggestions from far more experienced writers as no matter how they attacked me, they never completely slammed it.

Out of curiosity, how do you plan this all out? Do you use story boarding or do you just write as you go?

To be honest I just write on impulse BrookM, and go with what I think up on the fly, and post it on a site (too bad if I ever get to be a best-selling author) .

On the fly can work, I know some of my stuff came forth from a sudden burst of inspiration. I'd advice for bit stuff to at the very least map things out in advance a bit, the broad strokes so to say. By planning ahead a wee bit you can avoid retcon and massive rewrites.

I have tried to plan ahead, and write bits and pieces, but that works badly for me. And I often discuss my fluff before writing it down so I get my ideas and inspiration from other people. Infact my fluff is very much changed from the mottled mess it first was imagined to be with Tyranids, Space Marines, Custodians, Dark Eldar, Word Bearers, demons and regiments from any planet I could name on one planet in one insane battle. Now I keep it to basically demons and Dark Eldar as the main enemy, the Space Marines are gone, the Nids mentioned in the backstory, Word Bearers = Who?, and so on.

The core idea is two scoundrel-like commissars and the Inquisition contracting them to planets as rulers, which in my mind actually isn't a bad idea, and for all the derp I got, no-one picked at that one.

My main problem as for the battle is that I like to keep the combat realistic so aerial attacks and artillery really counts, I mean the most often done action except igniting a lho-rod with the laschisel is basically taking cover.

Work at a solid core and slowly spiral outward, it is tempting to have a go at everything at once, but that's just putting too much on your plate and stretching things thin.

Yeah. With my story for the project, I just had two simple but important characters doing exiting and interesting stuff. Apart from that, I had very little, I just kept it simple.

Aye, that's one way of doing it.

I personally think of something that sounds cool and work from that point, say, a stupid one-liner, a character archetype or a certain scene that just has to be worked into something.

By all cause friends the simple core will always remain, I got some much needed exposure and learned a valuable lesson. I must admit I have done some more risky stuff, but I consider myself to have escaped light.

Also it must be mentioned I'm a serious fan of background info, which has showed as my recommendations frequently tints towards me wanting to know what a character is like out of battle. I tend to regard my favorite moments of both Cain and Gaunt the stuff dealing with their background at the schola.

TRL I still want the co-op with you, and if any of them do anything worth mentioning it will be mentioned in my fluff.

Well a fairly large and important bunker complex has just been invaded by an enourmous hoard of cultists...

TheRobotLol wrote:Well a fairly large and important bunker complex has just been invaded by an enourmous hoard of cultists...

Is this a request for me to provide the cavalry?

I can do that, and of course Willem would be described flattering, with a potential for a rapid promotion that would have to be discussed. Basically depending on who I send, how high? Basically I'm asking who to send?

Any suggestions for the city's name, it's your planet after all.

I don't do crossovers.

BrookM wrote:I don't do crossovers.

You know I asked TheRobotlol and not you? Sorry couldn't really get that off without sounding harsh.

That would be interesting...

The city is an absolute wreck, so its probably called 'Hades pit' or something.

Not sure who you should sent, thats your story, your decision

TheRobotLol wrote:That would be interesting...

The city is an absolute wreck, so its probably called 'Hades pit' or something.

Not sure who you should sent, thats your story, your decision

I threw a suggestion out there, you are welcome to suggest changes.

Hades' Pit it is then (one really must wonder who the geniuses that names places in the IOM are, as their naming sort of always suck). I didn't mean your naming suck, it's very good actually, but I ruined it now as I explained the joke, right?

I asked you a concrete question. Just speak your mind. Seriously I want to know TRL as your verdict will decide what I choose for the whole scene(s) were Willem is involved.

Also if I am to include Willem I must know his looks, how he sounds like and the minor details. Also the plans you have for him, do you want me to promote him? And to what level? I seriously want to respect your character, and your plans for him. I mean there will be a bit of a difference if Carrus, Ionza and Kelkaris comes rolling compared to Thomas Smith with commissar Mack in tow when it comes to promotions due to the differencing levels of juice they have. So what's your preference?

I seriously need to know the limits and such, and that's important for me, as I want you to be in control of your own fluff.

Just read chpt 1, I have a long ways to go but I like it so far.

Beaviz81 wrote:

TheRobotLol wrote:That would be interesting...

The city is an absolute wreck, so its probably called 'Hades pit' or something.

Not sure who you should sent, thats your story, your decision

I threw a suggestion out there, you are welcome to suggest changes.

Hades' Pit it is then (one really must wonder who the geniuses that names places in the IOM are, as their naming sort of always suck). I didn't mean your naming suck, it's very good actually, but I ruined it now as I explained the joke, right?

I asked you a concrete question. Just speak your mind. Seriously I want to know TRL as your verdict will decide what I choose for the whole scene(s) were Willem is involved.

Also if I am to include Willem I must know his looks, how he sounds like and the minor details. Also the plans you have for him, do you want me to promote him? And to what level? I seriously want to respect your character, and your plans for him. I mean there will be a bit of a difference if Carrus, Ionza and Kelkaris comes rolling compared to Thomas Smith with commissar Mack in tow when it comes to promotions due to the differencing levels of juice they have. So what's your preference?

I seriously need to know the limits and such, and that's important for me, as I want you to be in control of your own fluff.

Willem is above average hight, shaven brown hair and brown eyes. Pale with dark shadows under his eyes. It would be pretty cool if Carrus, Ionza and Kelkaris came. Promotion to Lieutenant sounds about right.

CKO wrote:Just read chpt 1, I have a long ways to go but I like it so far.

You do, and thank you.

I shall arrange the story TRL, might just take a short while.

Sorry have little idea what to write now, doesn't have the option to delete it.

Lord-Commissar James Cavenaugh was of grande height, his almost ebony skin stood out as he stood tall, and bodyslammed fearlessly a young squirming PDF-er to the ground. He boamed with his his well-rehearsed and boaming voice. "Who the hell has ordered this retreat?" He paused a bit as meltagun came trained at him out of no-where. It slammed him back into a dirty trench, he recovered with a snarl. Instead he saw a young commissar, and a bomb-crater where he used to be. He sprang into action, charging towards the young commissar who had just dared bodyslamming him and, "and..." the question grew on his mind as he paused a bit, he was accompanied by something else, something far worse than any commissar, it was without doubt an Inquisitor. He saw them, they were speaking as equals, it sent shivers down the spine of Cavenaugh.

Carrus approached him. "I'm commissar Zachary Carrus, long story short call me Commissar Carrus." He smiled to Cavenaugh as he saluted, Cavenaugh threw a confused salute in return. "Representative of High-Inquisitor Selpid-" Carrus was cut short by the grinning Kelkaris. "...and Inquisitor Kelkaris of Ordo Xenos." He smiled smugly as he saw the multiple colors Cavenaugh's face took. Also Ionza approached with darkness enveloping her.

"You seriously need to shed some bling." She aimed her bolter straight at Cavenaugh. "She cocked the hammer loudly. "Shed it now or suffer my wrath!" She called out, Cavenaugh turned to see the Inquisitor nodding slightly, Carrus was hefting the melta in his right, he saw no emotion in the face of the young commissar. Then he spoke. "Girlie is right, shed your bling, lest we be subject to a bombardment." Cavenaugh glared right into his meltagun, he saw in the baby-blue eyes of the young man he meant it.

A Kasrkin approached them, as Cavenaugh was shedding his bling of war. "Apologies Lords and Lady-" He was cut short by Ionza. "Speak your mind voxer, and NOW!!" She laid particularly weight on the last part, she saw with a bleak grin Carrus step between her and the Kasrkin-voxer. She smiled a bit as she heard him read perfect vox-transmissions to the artillery-unit they were attached to. The small outpost right north of them came under direct artillery-fire, most of them perished, yet some emerged.

She also heard Jamesson order an attack on the facility, Carrus and Kelkaris agreed, so she was soon finding a position were she could take out the head of any foe, who learned to keep his or head low due to her sniping abilities. Also she knew that many officers were made during the campaign due to her shooting the weapons under a more senior member and a junior member picking up powered swords and bolt pistols, and fearlessly charging the enemy. That pleased her a great deal, many officers were promoted from rank and file though that mean.

Even so, Carrus and Kelkaris surged forward, they tried to respond to the S.O.S. from a nearby bunker. Artillery-strikes only did so much, they quickly covered each other with their advanced wargear, the twin Stormbolter-armed Inquisitor swiftly covered the ground which was equally backed by the melta-armed commissar who blasted away obstacles both mortal and immortal in nature. They covered together, acting more like a pair of brothers than two men than had just met as they scurried across the ground together.

The Kasrkins with the Freudakians followed suit as they followed the Inquisitor and commissar into the ground of the Alpha-Victor-Zero-complex. It was a small, but important military-complex in the middle of the city. Carrus and Ionza inflicted horrendous causalities at the chaos-horde due to Carrus blowing up a Leman Russ Demolisher, while Ionza sniped numerous of the leaders, including a judge who in his power armour had been imperrvious to almost any damage. Of course fourteen shots from differencing elite-soldiers serving the Imperium of Mankind didn't hurt anyone but the judge as he was reduced to melted goo inside his pierced power armour.

Even so, Carrus and Kelkaris approached an young sergeant of the 789th. PDF Tanibus Iron PDF. He was above middle height, bald, brown eyes, from the few moments they could sketch him together, his powered fist smashed clean the head of an cultist bellowing something along the line lines of: "Skulls for the skull-" Then he was abruptly stopped. Carrus arose to face another one, he got to shout: "Skulls for-" Then Carrus sheared through his weapons roaring. "It's souls...SOULS FOR THE EMPEROR!!!" As he sheared through a chain-axe splitting the man wielding it in two. He didn't intend to, but the warcry was repeated. The entire Imperial line resounded with the cry which was out of the blue made folklore. Carrus would regret his outburst later on as it had been caught due to him being on the general high setting of the vox-channels due to an earlier dodge which changed his frequency when a power sword-wielding woman, large ugly and burly. Pit-fighter covered in scars wearing a red bikini. She snarled at him, cutting a Kasrkin to pieces despite the man bayoneting her gut. Then she lost her head in a swipe from a vengeful commissar.

Then a Champion of Khorne came right for him. He brushed aside the challenge of Kelkaris, which was considerable, and the Demon-Prince went straight for Carrus who just ducked out of the way. Ionza with the other snipers targeted the vile red creature, but their weapns proved ineffective, and then Carrus barked. "Carrus to the snipers, take out the heavy weapons. I will deal with the red thing. Carrus" The he snapped at his soldiers. "Behind me men and women." Before he discharged his melta at the daemon. "Come here you red mother-frakker." Again he shot his melta, the shot pierced through the chest of the daemon.

The demon answered by leaping towards Carrus lashing his Lash of Khorne who in return summoned almost a brickwall of black steel as he backed away show-casing why he was one of the Imperium of Mankind's best defensive fencers, while the savagery of a berserked demon had met it's match with the style and grace Carrus had learned, along with his own savagery. Yet he was careful to remain on his feet with him sword, the frenzied demon was something he could handle when he was not knocked back all the time. That he bit his mark in as he was sure to always use how unbalanced his opponent tended to be. Even so the daemon fought with a frenzied rage Carrus had trouble keeping at bay

Willem slayed a guy, spraying his rotting skull everywhere, then as he landed he saw Dark Eldar land, one of their unhealthy numbers clawed at him, then the brain melted. Before he could focus he heard. "Commissar Ionza here, target eliminated." In the shadow of his eye he saw another Dark Eldar follow suit with his or her white helmet blown out. Moments followed and the one daring to take charge followed, with another masterfully placed longlas-shot.

Willem snickered a bit as he surged forwards, he power fisted a berzerked Khornate-fanatic to oblivion, then he turned around a Nugrlite came charging in, he was also obliterated by a shot from his bolt pistol. Now he despite artillery-bombardment surrounding the trench became overconfident, he charged forward towards a gigantic red creature and the black figure that could only be a commissar.

He saw the commissar block the incredibly powerful blow with his powered sword, still they circled each other, like in an undeclared duel. Again the Demon-Prince struck, the commissar dodged and a fiery blast emitted from the black-clad commissar shearing through several layers of the Demon-Prince as he saw the commissar dodge and often parry with unexplained skill the savage blows from the Demon-Prince. The creature lined up the commissar for the killing-blow with his daemonic-axe yet the commissar sidestepped avoiding certain doom and struck back as the Demon-Prince growled being struck by the blank powered sword of Carrus.

He smiled a tad as he struck him, the it was back to his defensive behavior which he was so skilled at. The Demon-Prince lashed at him, as he cut off the whip of the gigantic red daemon towering before him. He never stopped yapping insults at the demon, and the demon seemed drawn in by the feisty young man. Willem in the mean time got close, close enough to summon all of his strength, then he struck, he even closed his eyes. The world went black for him. He saw stars as the daemon exploded due to him power fisting the damon from behind right up the the butt of it. It emitted a huge howl directed right at Carrus who only survived thanks to his Rosarius.

"Nice move there." He rapidly shook his head, still he heard just a loud explosion. Carrus grabbed him. "Medic!" He heard the young man yell. He looked around himself, he was bleeding. "Don't you give up on me!!!" Again he saw Carrus, he was struck not at max strength, but still at enough. He saw Carrus' laschisel came to light. "Frakking demon..." Carrus sweared as he operated to stop the bloodflow. "There?" Carrus emerged from behind almost as if looking from approval, instead Willem saw him disengage the laschisel. He declared a man dead. "Sorry Kelkaris he is just dead." He drew a small laspistol. then came the small *tchock* then nothing, the shot went home, all that followed was silence. Willem realized it wasn't him, he saw the contures of Kelkaris and Carrus above him.

"Is he alright?" He heard the voice of Kelkaris, it was harsh and sounded very coarse.
"I think so Inquisitor." A softer male voice rang out. Willem tried to made out the shadows appearing before his eyes.
"He can come in useful boys, and I don't need remind you boys about High-Inquisitor Selpid's ban about using mind-wipes." Willem heard a much softer voice, no doubt a feminine one, she argued his cause.
"Sure darling, but do you think he can-"
The male commissar's voice was cut shut short by the female's hissing. "Of course dear, don't you agree Inquisitor?" He heard the two commissars kiss passionately.

"S-so I shall integrate him into my Storm-Troopers?" Kelkaris glared at both the embracing commissars. Ionza answered. "Sergeant Willem seems to be a fit fit soldier despite his four mind-wipes." She sighed. "You can execute him as you see fit, but I'd rather see him serving out his sentence here, and then be released." She looked anxious over at the Inquisitor.

He sighed. "Fine." He let his arms out. "I will not execute him." He looked the man about 30 in his eyes. "Now you are a lieutenant in my Storm Troopers, hope you are happy." Then he turned, Willem saw flashed of thumbs up from Carrus and Ionza as they rapidly turned as well. All of them rapidly leapt into foxholes to escape the oncoming bombing from the Dark Eldars.

Great story, Beaviz. Is there any chance of any more soon?

A lord Commissar obeying regular Commissars?
Even going by regular ranks that's obviously absurd...

By the dark gods.....Still not finnished? I say this is a rather long lived story

purplefood wrote:A lord Commissar obeying regular Commissars?
Even going by regular ranks that's obviously absurd...

Carrus killed a Lord-Commissar earlier, you know he had the notion of executing Ionza, so I have zero problem seeing him ordering around a Lord-Commissar as he could draw rank on the chap due to Selpid, Kelkaris and Harken. But I thought you stopped to comment after the ridiculous thing you did on the DCM-thingy. Also I would rather harp over how poor my wording is, and my many, many bad spellings I did (I'm mortified over how horrid it was reading it in hindsight. I tried to edit it, but it was too much). Also with Carrus and Ionza I'm trying to get to how horrid doting over students can be, yet how rewarding. They are the reward with the whippings. But then again you only see the bad, and not the good in them. Look at Harry Potter f.ex. Dumbledore is more than happy to see past the many errors of Harry for reasons unexplained, and that's what I tries to capture.

I will edit it of course when I'm more sober.

As for Trondheim and Cavash, thank you for the kind words, I will try to edit at least, and write more shortly. I can't wait for you Cavash to post some of the exploits of Archon Cavash here on Dakka.

Yeah, editing and proofreading can be really irritating, but it's worth it in the long run.

I'm looking to more!

Cavash wrote:Yeah, editing and proofreading can be really irritating, but it's worth it in the long run.

I'm looking to more!

Is it ever? In this case it's a freaking nightmare. But I expect much of myself.

Glad to hear from you, looks forward of hearing about Archon Cavash once more, he is a great char for Warhammer 40.000, same with his son. Must admit it has been a while since I have thought about them.

Well, I've started proofreading my stoy over on TDC, and it is mind numbing. It is showing good results, though.

It's good to hear from you too, and thank you for the compliments. I return them to your own, especially Carrus. I think his morals, or the morals he has towards Ionza and children, are admirable. It's good to see them in a Commissar.

Haha yeah it's freaking torture.

I like Carrus as he is a man who dislikes to pull the trigger, but still does it. As for his feelings for Ionza, mention any foul words addressed at her, and have him cave in your skull regardless of rank (which he proved when he caved in the skull of a Lord-Commissar as soon as he landed on Tanibus Alpha).

I think we should take our long-term-agendas with our chars privately, as me spoiling what would happen with Carrus and Ionza and who I plan to die would be too much of a spoiler.

lol, agreed. Spoilers are never good!

Anyhow, good luck.

Heh, this is still going, good.

I will make 'Bloodhunt 2: When Vindicare's attack', it's only a matter of time..

Beaviz81 wrote:

purplefood wrote:A lord Commissar obeying regular Commissars?
Even going by regular ranks that's obviously absurd...

Carrus killed a Lord-Commissar earlier, you know he had the notion of executing Ionza, so I have zero problem seeing him ordering around a Lord-Commissar as he could draw rank on the chap due to Selpid, Kelkaris and Harken. But I thought you stopped to comment after the ridiculous thing you did on the DCM-thingy. Also I would rather harp over how poor my wording is, and my many, many bad spellings I did (I'm mortified over how horrid it was reading it in hindsight. I tried to edit it, but it was too much). Also with Carrus and Ionza I'm trying to get to how horrid doting over students can be, yet how rewarding. They are the reward with the whippings. But then again you only see the bad, and not the good in them. Look at Harry Potter f.ex. Dumbledore is more than happy to see past the many errors of Harry for reasons unexplained, and that's what I tries to capture.

I will edit it of course when I'm more sober.

As for Trondheim and Cavash, thank you for the kind words, I will try to edit at least, and write more shortly. I can't wait for you Cavash to post some of the exploits of Archon Cavash here on Dakka.

Didn't stop reading. Just stopped bothering to comment.
Despite the fact that Perkustin's comments were incorrect we knew you weren't gonna bother listening to us anyway...

I listened to a certain degree purplefood. I got rid of the Space Marines, even though mutants seems like such a minor thing to know. The melta-frags went out the window as well. Of course I won't change the core of it, with over-doting teachers and how weary Carrus and Ionza are due to everyone relying on them from an early age. I will consider alterations which doesn't seem like spit-takes however.

Chapter XVI.

The horde of daemons with human cultist-support swarmed towards the compound. The about one hundred Kasrkins, Freudakians and Tanibusian defenders who had mottled into a unit took a brave, but hopeless defense. Them voxing for help didn't help the artillery-units had come under direct attacks and were falling back.

The Promitium Silver-grenades tore great holes in the packed horde of daemons, yet one of the Bloodletters reached the Imperial position. Carrus swiftly got on his feet after he had covered behind a ruined arsenal.

The demon was too fast and with blinding speed charged towards a Kasrkin who was firing plenty of hotshot lasgun-shots trying to snipe an Arbitrator Judge in power armour, yet he failed as time and time again a follower got the blast. The demon snarled as it was mere feet from him charging in almost from behind.

"Not so fast demon-boy." Carrus exclaimed as he blocked the stroke from the Hellblade on the Kasrkin with his own sword, making the Kasrkin yelp strangely high-pitched due to the shock of first the demon charging him, then the commissar coming straight out of the shadows blocking it.

The Bloodletter was out of balance due to the blow it had just had Carrus parrying. The meltagun held in his other hand swirled the demon off it's feet, and before it had time to respond the jet-black sword pierced it's heart obliterating it.

Not far away Jarcar held back demons and mortal follower of the Blood God all but alone. He opened up portals of the warp sucking in demon after demon. Yet he eventually met his match. A huge Bloodthirster came storming towards him and the other defenders.

"Lady, have the lads covering me. I will take on that huge thing!!" He called out loudly to her, just as chain-lightning erupted from his hands, killing droves of humans, while demons were tossed back into the warp.

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD-" The Bloodthirster suddenly stopped. Jarcar let a smile play across his misshapen lips. "Here but no further follower of the red God." He then started to wringe it like a wet towel. What only himself, Ionza, Kelkaris and Carrus knew was that the feedback from taking out such a mighty beast on his own via psychic powers would most likely be fatal.

She upheld her part of the bargain, leaving the longlas not too far behind, drawing both her pistols. Her bolter snapped again and again, each time hitting a Bloodletter sending it straight to hell. While her laspistol underpowered as it might be shot beam after beam, they she directed at her mortal opponents trying to press through the breach in the wall. One shot one kill. Even the Kasrkins were impressed, and they slaughtered foes in the dozens each as they were more than formidable marksmen and women themselves. With the Kasrkins she was able to press the advantage nearing the hole in the wall, despite having to reload her bolter again and again.

Jarcar on his side wresting with the Greater Daemon started to show cracks. The permient evil such a presented meant that he was starting to age prematurely as it bellowed and howled against the human psyker who opened a warp-portal right behind it. Boils in many colors started to show on his face, the Bloodthirster's eternal rage was more than just a mere mortal could contain, yet he continued the mission bringing the portal closer to the demon which was totally locked in the stasis as Jarcar not only had to contain it, but also had to penetrate the many wards of anti-psychic abilities.

He shivered, starting to mutate on his own. "Shall I kill him?" Cavenaugh asked pointing his bolter straight at Jarcar. He looked nervous as Kelkaris gave Ionza covering-fire. He turned away from the front to Cavenaugh. "No, I trust Ionza will do that, this is her mess, continue to fire at the enemy Lord-Commissar." The man obeyed immediately taking aim with his boltgun, resisting the temptation of trying to shoot her as she and the Kasrkins she had been raiding with came running back towards cover leaving many traps behind them as the fell back.

The Bloodthrister finally disappeared into the void Jarcar summoned behind it. He closed it, but then was subjected to it trying to possess him. He feel to his knees on the dirty pavement, he looked up, a bit over fifty meters Ionza saw it. Despite being on the run she fired one bolt at Jarcar, shattering him, catching a small glimmer of a twisted smile as she knew he willed it. She then whispered, while a tear slowly ran down her left cheek. "Goodbye my friend, hope you find the peace the Emperor denied you in life, in the afterlife by his side."

A Kasrkin heard her mumble that. She approached. "Commissar, you really cared for him." They covered together behind a tall wall, who had been a barrack, but now was little more than rubble for the Kasrkins to cover in. Ionza smiled a sad smile back as she reloaded her bolter, looking at the Kasrkin. "Jarcar is an Imperial Saint now." She sighed. "And he deserved better than the treatment you gave him, that is not by any means forgotten." She looked mournful across the blasted walls of the former base.

They soon darted across the broken base reaching the small building were the medics had holed up with their injured, they were soon joined by Kelkaris and Cavenaugh.

The Kasrkin following Carrus eventually ran out of luck as he exposed himself finally getting the traitor judge directing the cultists. The shot cleaned out the helmet of him sending him slumping against the wall. Then a furious amount of heavy bolters roared to life slamming into his position, with Carrus only managing to take refuge in an overturned and burning Leman Russ hindered him meeting the same grisly fate as the man's arms and legs came loose, his head was torn off as well, and still in the corner of his eye he saw the chap getting chopped to even more pieces as more bolter-shells and lasgun-blasts hit him.

Carrus climbed out, snatching the hotshot lasgun before he darted off with the gun rapidly enveloping himself in his cloak to hide himself from the spread enemy gunfire that they tried to direct upon him. While he cursed that he couldn't avenge his fallen comrade.

"Use the adrenalin medic." Kelkaris stood over where they had laid down Willem while Ionza and Jamesson lended sniper-support to the soldiers of the Imperium slowly trickling into the small part of the facility which was left standing if not unscaved. "Inquisitor, it can kill him." Saffron Hendrix the Karskin field-doctor looked nervously up at Kelkaris, who just nodded. She then injected a needle full of adrenaline-fluids into the man's bloodstream.

Willem woke up gasping, his eyes was blood-shut. He was in total shock, right as he woke up Carrus entered the room. "You-you f-fiend, y-you took the commissar.." He panted heavily as several Kasrkins had to hold him down. Carrus calmly went over to him with a surly gleam in his eyes as it pained him seeing Willem like that.

He glanced into the eyes of Willem. "Ah the mind-wipes have lost it's grip, heh they tend to do that under extreme duress." He looked sad at the struggling Willem. "Indeed young commissar I have even seen Space Marines go nuts after it, so it's not a pretty affair by any means. Where did you know that by the way?" Kelkaris spoke, looking interested over at Carrus. "Where shall I begin?" Carrus brought up his left index-finger. "Harken." The middle-finger got up. "Headmaster Natrax." His thumb went up. Selpid of course." His face changed from one of fondness and fine memories to one of sadness. "Also there were the run-in I had with the mind-wiped Horus-priest on Heritage. If they had only had executed him instead of trying to reform him with mind-wiping." He then glared straight at Kelkaris. "I can divulge the whole story to you Inquisitor, but in private, if you don't mind."

Kelkaris smiled back in a saddened way. "It's okay young commissar." "WHAT?!! Nothing is okay!!" Willem roared back to life, two Kasrkins got tossed away. Carrus immediately snapped into action grabbing Willem by the throat, while his sword pinned the powered arm of Willem to the wall lifted him up before he brought his own face to the face of Willem. "Listen up Willem, I'm no demon. See this sword?" Willem turned slightly and glanced down at it. He nodded. "That prevents demons from possessing me, it's the Bringer of Insanity, blank powered sword." Willem nodded, so Carrus relaxed his grip.

"Now, we are surrounded by armed bastards, and demons of that red god that have a fetish for skulls and blood, and who paint their butt red." Willem grinned slightly from Carrus insulting Khorne in such a manner. "But what we need is a way out-" Carrus was interrupted by Willem who smirked. "Nothing more?" Carrus shook his head as Willem got away from the grip of Carrus. "Then watch this." He powered up the fist to maximum and then struck the alter dedicated to the Emperor. The marble was smashed to pieces. With Cavenaugh looking rather shocked of the lowly PDF-sergeant desecrating a symbol of the Emperor.

Up came his bolter. "Who the hell do you think you are boy?!! You have just destroyed-" He rapidly lost his footing as Kelkaris kicked out the legs under him. "Look the PDF-sergeant is saving our bacon, and I don't like you pointing your bolter at any troopers." Carrus immediately drew his laspistol and followed suit pointing it straight at Cavenaugh lying on the stone-floor. He glanced over to Willem who boxed through a large slab of stone.

Willem was the first one in, advancing with his bolter, then Carrus came in following him, with the rest of the lot coming in later, with Ionza, the Freudakians and Jamesson was their rearguard setting up all sort of traps as they went along.

"Don't go there." Carrus nudged Willem to the side in the dimly lit underground hallway, up came a monofilament knife as he kneeled down. "Double mined, clever bastards." Then he placed an empty discarded can of unknown origin upon the stone. "Hopefully none of the guys are stupid enough to kick this." He then hissed to Willem. "Tell me were are the Deathstrikes, and can we reach them?" He continued to whisper as they waited for the main-unit to catch up with them. "Yes commissar, it's quite a walk, but the place is overrun." Shaking of the ground under them revealed that the melta-charges sat by the Freudakians had gone off collapsing the tunnels. "Looks like we got a reprieve, but the demon will have the humans dig up so time is running out."

A shade of worry passed over the face of Willem. "The Deathstrikes, you plan to..." He trailed off as Carrus nodded, they both knew they were committing suicide and only those two knew about it. "Well we all have to die some day, so why not today?" Willem smiled with a strain, his injuries sustained still slowed him down, and Carrus tagged along just to look for the traps as he was the best scout of the few Imperial soldiers down under the base.

They snuck off after marking any traps Carrus discovered, even though Willem rapidly learned the art himself watching Carrus silently dispatching two sentries with monofilament knives near the entrance leading down to the Deathstrike facility. Then he brought his meltagun to bear and executed the door. Inside what met him got him to exclaim. "By the Emperor, this is insanity!" The officers responsible for launching the Deathstrikes all had followed a different god, they laid dead, all killed in different ways, but by each other. Yet one were not quite dead yet. As Carrus entered the room sweeping over the room with sword and melta he leapt at him.

The putrid smells filled the air as Carrus threw him off, half the face were gone, the man managed to send Willem flying into the wall on the outside so he passed out when he mist-timed his attack. Yet this allowed time for Carrus to recover even as he slipped at the blood and gore-covered floor. To his shock he saw the man had the remains of a commissar-uniform on,

"Come on join me in worshiping Grand-" That was as long as the commissar came before he slammed Carrus into the wall almost striking him with his powered fist. "No thanks, the god of being a living corpse have no appeal to me dead man." Carrus snapped back as he got the powered fist under control but at the expanse of loosing his grip on the Bringer. His meltagun was then brought up to the chest of his foe. It clanked against the cerapace. Carrus fired it, it was too close, he was sent flying due to the full force of the recoil hitting him head on smashing him into the roof. Of the traitor, nothing remained but the powered fist.

Carrus landed on the floor with a splash, and then further humiliation followed with some of the concrete also landing on him getting him to curse loudly while he kicked one of the bodies caving in the head as he got up, swiftly retrieving his weapons.

"Hey Willem, are you okay?" Carrus called out from inside the room. He had already gone to work with the machine, priming the Deathstrikes. Willem reentered. "Sure commissar, I'm fine, but my back is killing me." He used his non-augmented hand at his back. "You met commissar Loyd I see." He grinned at Carrus as he saw the remains of his regimental commissar but got quite serious as he saw the hole in the wall besides the controls. "Commissar Carrus, can you discharge your melta again, just a little nort-east of the spot where you executed commissar Loyd?" "Why?" Carrus answered disinterested still flickering with the controls trying to time a launch of the atomic weapons. "Look." Willem pointed, they saw the bottom and a Fleur-de-lys. "Mother mercy." Carrus mumbled it before he again discharged his melta. Now it was all appearing to them. They stared right a a Fleur-de-lys at a sloping direction with black downwards sloping plasteel were uncovered.

Another cool chapter, Beaviz.

I shall read it again when I'm less tired so I can make a better, more coherent comment.

Cavash wrote:Another cool chapter, Beaviz.

I shall read it again when I'm less tired so I can make a better, more coherent comment.

Thank you.

I waited a while for it, along with your answer on my PM. Within 24 hours I will post a new half of a chapter.

Carrus blasted the black adamentum again with his meltagun. Dozens of empty canisters which Carrus had loaded into his meltagun time and time again as hundreds of blasts from the gun slowly ate away at the metal. Four times he had postponed their doom, and Inquisitor Kelkaris had been informed of his insane plan for suicide as there looked to be little else to do as enemies had them boxed in down there.

Meanwhile Kelkaris led a desperate fight to break out from the confined tunnels underneath the military complexes. The tunnels were of concrete constructs with pale lightning coming from rods in the roof, along with plenty of blast-doors at fixed intervals.

Opposing the Inquisitor and his men and women were thousands of Tanibusian PDF-ers, conscripted civilians who swarmed at the Kasrkins and Freudakian soldiers, while the traitor commissars whipped the scared men, women and children forward in human wave-attacks while heavy bolters shot down anyone who dared to retreat, or that was the plan. Instead most of the commissars got shot at extreme ranges by Ionza, usually in the head. More than one heavy bolter had been captured by strike-teams led by Kelkaris who drew the fire from the traitors while the Kasrkins achieved their objectives. Though their effectiveness was going down due to ammo-shortage as more and more were forced to use ordinary lasguns leaving their hotshots near Carrus. Additionally Carrus had been given all the ammo of the meltagunners as he tried to blast a way out for them.

"Finally." Carrus shouted elated into the vox even as his gas-mask muffled his sound. He exited the control-room, meeting up with sergeant Kasparec of the Freudakians. He glared right into the brown eyes of the rather large man about forty of middle build. "Have you gotten the volunteers sarge?" Kasprec just nodded as Carrus removed him mask. Carrus looked at a female Kasrkin, he sniffed at the air. "Can't use you, you are menstruating, any Tyranids down there and we are torn to shreds." Kasparec hadn't even been aware of she being a female, never a pretty one, which he saw when she removed her helmet, then spoke with a sweet voice. "Sorry sir, I just-"

Carrus held up his hand. "Look girl I said I needed volunteers who ain't virgins, menstruating or pregnant due to knowledge that demons and beast alike prefers them for reasons I don't even wanna speculate about." His voice were harsh, same with his expression. He hated when people disobeyed him, as he gesticulated to impress on her how important the knowledge he had was while a Freudakian soldier was attaching him to the climbing rope with an easily detachable military-grade climbing-brake which was hooked onto his heavy gun-belt. The rope was fastened to a roof-beam and then the rope was attached to the climbing-break installed at him.

The young commissar leaned over to the nearby voxer whispering. "The password will be me musing for a bottle of Freudakian red." He paused a bit. "Understood?" The voxer nodded. "Good." Carrus gave him a friendly clap on the cheek before he went over to the small room.

He started his decent into the darkness beyond, rapidly sliding down until his booted feet the dusty floor with a soft thud, giving two swift tugs as the rope as the sign for the soldier holding the rope to withdraw it. He had landed inside a chapel. His eyes quickly adapted to the dark. Around him laid several skeletons in blackened power armour. All with the marks of several bolt-shells embedded in them. The chapel was enormous. The ceiling was fifteen meters above him, Carrus rotten wood which once had been benches were lining the ancient chapel, the black adamentum-construct made it difficult to see the walls. He cared little for worshiping, instead he swiftly began searching through the room rapidly, invisibly and without a sound. There were nothing there. Eventually he reached a switch. He flicked it.

Some of the ancient lighting-rods exploded as they were re-ignited for the first time for at least one millennia. "Man I so much want and deserve some Freudakian red now." With that comment the three Kasrkins descended into the dimly lit hall themselves. They landed with more sound than Carrus. "By the mercy of the Emperor." One of them a slight little female wimped as she looked around the madness that had transpired there so long ago. "Hush girl, we will find the source of what drove the Daughters of the Emperor insane, and then burn their bodies." He turned his back on her. "Prayers to the Emperor for the dead are optional." He said that phrase as he quickly advanced over an elaborate Fleu-de-lys in sparkling colors at the middle of the chapel, closing in on the black cerapace-doors at the other end of the large hall where hundreds if not thousands of Sorortitas had once attended daily messes, praying to the Emperor. Now the hall was silent save for the commissar leading two men and one woman towards the door.

Carrus was the first to reach the door, the Kasrkins placed themselves without being told in perfect ways to cover him, he smirked a bit over their ability as he opened the door after he had checked it for booby-traps. He entered a long hallway, along the black marble was numerous doors or openings where doors had rotted away a long time ago. He rapidly found the switch, he turned on the light. Again it dimly lit up the corridor.

"Get in the rest private Murdoch. This place likely ain't infested, but be cautious, something drove those most holy servants of the Emperor insane so don't touch anything." The two remaining soldiers nodded as Murdoch went back to get the rest of the troopers down. The scene was the same, bolter-shells had impacted upon the walls and the skeletons of dead Sororitas laid spread across the corridor. They were so old that they were gray, and as the wimpy girl found out, even stepping near a skull made it collapse into dust.

They fanned out looking through the different rooms. Most were just room for servants of the Church. Sparsely furnished, a metal-bed, a shower, a chair with table if trusted. Or as Carrus believed a Sororita so she could maintain her equipment at her own quarters.

The soldiers of the Imperium were pushed back by the weight of numbers from their enemies. The heavy bolters Kelkaris had drawn so much fire from when they got them was rapidly disabled by the Imperials as they retreated. Even Ionza sniping droves of men did little, but over one hundred promising young champions of Khorne laid dead on the floor.

Finally she spotted the leader, he was of imposing stature. An Arbitrator judge in black power armour. His face was covered by his helmet, he was completely sealed up. Ionza had a short opening, she couldn't even go for a more powerful magazine. The range was extreme. She took aim, and fired. The man fell to the floor with a resounding sound. She had felled him with a shot right into his left eye. Then she abandoned her position as she got a vox from the Freudakians, they were ready to collapse the corridor with explosives.

The explosion was still rumbling behind her as she met up with Kelkaris and the rest of the soldiers. The wounded were getting prepped to be lowered down as she stopped before the Inquisitor with a perky smile. "Looks like we got a reprieve my liege." He nodded. "Yeah Commissar Ionza, the feedback from down there is to be careful, the Sororitas killed eachother." Ionza's smile disappeared. "The Sororitas butchered themselves? Carrus have given the order?" "Of course girl, and it's an order I have indeed all intentions of making an Inquisitorial one." Kelkaris then raised his voice. "Listen up, this is Inquisitor Kelkaris speaking. Down there don't touch anything, the Sororitas murdered eachother and we don't know why yet."

Meanwhile Carrus had gotten reinforcements which he searched through the differencing rooms with. It was more of the same. The kitchen even had several boxes of canned edibles. "Commissar Carrus." A soldier hissed into the vox. "Carrus here." He answered quickly as he covered behind a stove. "Ehm I just wondered if me and one other soldier could try making some food." The response from the soldier came fast. Her voice showed she expected her suggestion to be shot down. "Positive. We have over a dozen wounded and need nutrition so go ahead soldier, infact take three more with you and fire up the stoves." The answer came fast as he was off searching through other rooms and corridors still finding the odd power armour with a fragile skeleton inside.

Eventually more floors were discovered, nothing were seen. Carrus withdrew from the search entering the mess-hall. It was still dusty, but the soldiers had at least gotten the dust away from where they were eating. He quickly approached Ionza and Kelkaris, not managing to hold back a snicker as he saw a number of broken spoons on the floor under Kelkaris while Ionza were spoon-feeding him. A soldier even handed him a pitcher of water. "Is this tap-water." Carrus asked quietly. The helmet-less Kasrkin nodded. Carrus looked insecurely back. Remembering that hives had water not even fit to anything in. The Kasrkin let a smile go over his scarred face. "Relax commissar Carrus, the pollution-rod showed us that the water-quality couldn't be better." He then took a sip of water from his own pitcher as Carrus got back to the Inquisitor and his mate.

"Status-report Carrus." Kelkaris growled to Carrus who got seated opposing him. "We have found little of value Inquisitor, but I want to know about the weapons of the Sororitas, so Cavenaugh might be of use since he uses a boltgun." Kelkaris nodded and Carrus then turned raising his voice. "Lord-Commissar, over here." He waved Cavenaugh over to their table. Cavenaugh quickly got seated. "Look Lord-Commissar, I think you should test the bolters, and test them for functionality as our men has very little ammo left." Cavenaugh looked insecurely over to Ionza and Kelkaris then spoke. "This is insane, he want to take the weapons from the most holy-" Kelkaris cut him off, the eyes were piercing through the soul of Cavenaugh. "I seconded the idea Lord-Commissar, so eat up and then you shall do what Commissar Carrus have suggested." Both the two young commissars giggled a bit as he was put in place yet again.

Later Cavenaugh stood with about ten Imperial soldiers in a hallway they had made into a makeshift firing-range. "Okay girls, load the holy boltguns in the way i showed you." The soldiers adhered quickly inserting the magazines. "Now pull the firing pin to prime the weapon." Loud clicks came as the weapons got ready to fire. "Fire!" The soldiers sent away a swathe of bolts hitting empty tin-cans which had been involved in making meals a little while earlier.

Ionza, Carrus and Kelkaris meanwhile were breaching the throne-room. Carrus had luckily found some melta-ammo from slain Sororitas so he shot open the door. The evil from inside the throne-room could be felt by all around them. Carrus and Ionza immediately drew their swords making Kelkaris shiver from the pain of their swords. "This is something new, is it a demon Carrus?" Ionza whimpered out the answer. "Sort of." Carrus shrug, he rapidly entered the room. He quickly pushed several power armours away. Then he reached a book. It was a grox-hide book of shifting colors. It was of middle size, he struck it with his sword before setting it ablaze. A howl of pain and terror followed. He looked at the hypnotizing flames a bit. Eventually he sheathed his sword.

Kelkaris entered the exquisite room, beautifully decorated with Fleur-de-lyses lining the walls, the ceiling had images of the Emperor and many a Primarch. Near the edge was was a throne of gold with a slumped mummified figure sitting at it. Still the fine walls was marred by bolt-shots and melta-blasts from the past, plus the passing of time had taken it's toll. "Tell me Carrus, you seems familiar with the book." He pointed right at the young man who smiled back at him. "Okay we are dead men and women anyway, so ladies and gentlemen gather around your favorite commissar shall now tell you one of the great secrets of the Imperium." The young man ignited yet another lho-rod as the soldiers save for those engaged in other duties entered the room.

He then began the story. "The book is an exemplar of Lexicana Supernaturlis, it's a book I received from Inquisitor Selpid. One of those assassins, you know the ones you want to shoot-" Carrus explained, until Kelkaris interrupted him. "The assassin you are referring to is a Culeux Assassin, it's our foremost weapons against the demons and Tyranids. I have used them at occasion myself, but go on." Carrus then continued. "Not even you Michelle knew about the book, I was under orders from Selpid which the Culeux conveyed to me." He saw her worried face. "That explains you strong-arming Master Natrax into having all members of that patrol brought to separate Penal Legions. I never understood that."

Carrus smiled back at her. "That was easy, I simply told him I was under orders from Selpid and he dared not opposing me." Ionza looked shocked at Carrus. "You ain't usually keen to waste the life of good men my love." She spoke shocked as the stood right next to him removing a glove, letting her hand stroke his chin. "I was under orders to kill them, I upheld my morals and adhered to the order with my actions." He didn't smile. "The book itself is just a book written in paper, it ain't corrupted, but the things inside it slowly corrupts it due to the evil described. Only blanks can safely handle such a book after a while, but I suspect the Sororitas thought they were pure enough of heart to handle it anyway...cause...." He bent down, picking up a shell-casing, showing it to Kelkaris. "If I'm not mistaken this is a psy-casing." Kelkaris looked surprised at Carrus. "Yes it is indeed. These must have been demon-hunters as there are no other explanation for this foul thing to be in their midst, and that explains the corruption of the planet."

"Do you think the Rosariuses and powered weapons are corrupted as well Kelkaris?" Ionza spoke now. Kelkaris just shook his head. "No their owners just got insane, they didn't turn to the ruinous powers." He then raised his voice. "Take anything you can use, Rosariuses, ammo, powered weapons." He then laughed harshly. "This is our tomb, so we just as well can die well-equipped. Oh and should we survive this, then you are all induced into my Inquisitorial Storm-Troopers, and might be subjected to mind-wipes." Then Ionza spoke. "Heyh sergeant Kasparec." She got his attention. "Catch!" She threw a blue-glowing power sword to him, then a Rosarius followed. "Now you are as well equipped as your senior commissars sarge." He caught the equipment. "Thank you lady." The rest rifled through the Sororitas, most discarded their lasguns for the boltguns, soon sounds of bolters were heard from the hallway as they had one of the most expensive firing-drill ever had, learning to shoot with psybolt-ammo.

The searches of the remaining base proved fruitless, dusty corridors with a few skeletons here and there. It wasn't until the team of Jamesson found a large blast-door of adamentum something which seemed exciting was found.

Meanwhile at the surface. Stremm tried to have an offensive at the section where Carrus, Ionza and Kelkaris was. But it bugged down, as over 15 million heretics had overrun the area. Harken was in the middle of it. He was covering behind a broken building watching droves of enemy dead got replaced over and over. Lightning fighters and Maurader bombers swarmed the area. Heavy bolter teams from the Cadian regiments sat up in excellent firing-positions to blast the rebels, yet they were forced to fall back. Harken grabbed a passing Cadian soldier. "Name and rank please?" He bellowed to the private. The man shivered. "Private Campbell sir." Harken relented his grip, fifteen shouting cultists emerged from the ruins infront of him. He mowed them down with one of his bolters. Fifteen shots fifteen kills. "I-I know you, you are Commissar-General Nathan Harken, the savior of a dozen worlds." Captain Murray of the Cadian regiment came over. He was of fair complexion with broad features, a hair-cut not a far cry from Harken's own. The age was in the late thirties. His uniform was mattered like Harken's. He was quite tall yet Harken towered over him.

Murray made a quick salute to Harken who gave a small nod back. "The status Commissar-General we are beaten back, I assume half-" Harken grabbed Murray, covering with him inside a broken casino as the Imperial bombers started to sweep the area. "There is a time and place for everything. Sound the retreat, we can't take them now, and need to fall back to better defensible positions." He went out with him. Rotten cultists of Nugle came at them, they were soon reduced to stinking wall-paint by the bolters of both Imperial officers.

Harken then switched his vox-beads to general setting. "Commissar-General Nathan Harken speaking. Fall back to sector Alpha-Delta-Theta, sector Alpha-Delta-Victor is considered overrun. I repeat, fall back to sector Alpha-Delta-Theta. Commissar Harken out." He hated himself for giving the order, but fifteen thousand men could only hope to blunt the attack of millions, and he had today lost over 1000 Shadow-Tigers.

The snipers under McLandi scored many hits, delaying the disorganized opposition severely allowing the Cadians and Freudakians to fall back without being surrounded.

Another place Stremm and his command-staff was desperately laying plans. They stood with a pict-cast of the city in their center. "Looks colonel Stremm, we can't hold the sector. We must fall back." Stremm's jaw twitched. He hated this, the nicely dressed generals watched the huge man. "Commit the conscripts, I don't care how many of them who dies, but they need to be-" He was cut short by a messenger bursting into the. A general immediately snapped. "A blasted private get him-" Stremm slammed his power-fist into the table making the war-room shake. "Let him talk." The messenger paused for a moment catching his breath. "My lords, the western front is annihilated by the Dark Eldar. They came out of no-where. Millions of soldiers have died. Fourteen regiments lost." The generals froze in shock. "Arm the civilians, what's the status of my commissars general Howard?" He leaned over to the Kasrkin.

"You mean the commissars Carrus and Ionza I assume?" Howard began as Stremm nodded. "I'm sorry to report they are missing in action alongside many of my Kasrkins. Commissar Harken is also missing in action going after them, and only Higgins of your commissars is accounted for." Stremm nodded in resignation. He had given up far too many lives to rescue Carrus, Ionza and Kelkaris. He grabbed his heavy bolter. "Howard you are under command of the army, I go to face my destiny as nobody who looses an Inquisitor survives for long." He exited the room, taking in the blasted place. His eyes closed as he was convinced he would die attempting to rally the western front by himself. Rain started to pour down, drenching him and anyone else nearby. Not long from where he was he saw refugees huddling together.

"Soldiers. Draft anyone between 12 and 65. Give every three of them a weapon, and tell the rest to pick up weapons on the way. Is that understood?" Stremm went straight up to the escorts for the refugees. He scowled looking at the nervous soldiers. One of the soldiers answered. "Sir arming the civies, is that wise? There can be cultists-" He was interrupted by Jatme. "Look the colonel gave you an order soldier, now you do it." She looked angry at him, behind her with his longlas over his shoulders came Higgins. He then spoke. "I don't like arming civilians one bit, but I still think it can be done, so round'em up. We are going hunting some Xeno-scum." The comment sounded braver than he were. They had been split from the force commanded by the Inquisitor when the massive cultist army hit them.

Out came his whip. The scared civilians screamed as they tried to flee. "Look everyone between twelve and sixty-five is drafted to the Imperial Guard. One gun for every three persons." The whip crackled in the air. "NOW WOULD BE Nice." Higgins screamed. Soldiers came up grabbing parents from their children. Whole families met the rough rifle-butts of the Imperial Guard. Jatme almost got pale as she saw her husband Higgins leading the press-ganging. "This ain't fast enough." He drew his laspistol, he fired it ten times at the scared crowd. Ten bodies, men, elderly, women and children fell. He made the families move quicker as he with a roaring voice screamed. "More delays means more executions, and I have more ammo on me." Even Stremm averted his eyes from the brutal methods of the man as a Chimera got up to fetch him and his command-staff. Jatme followed it mournfully with her eyes before Higgings snapped her back to attention.

"Junior-Commissar Jatme, execute this one and set and example." The man grabbed a small boy, he showed the boy over to her, the laspistol was still in hand. She closed her eyes, and drew her own laspistol, she fired it. Then she heard a thud as the body hit the dirty pavement. She opened her eyes. She was screaming. "Get your asses moving or I will take out ten more just to make you run faster!!" The pair quickly rounded up over five thousand civilians, whipping them over to the armory were soldiers gave out outdated autoguns to every one in third, while the rest got a piece of ammo. Then they were marched to the front-line. The ones moving to slow were executed either by the commissars or the professional soldiers who knew they would face the firing-line if they didn't do that. The main street of Hell Pit got a new name in that brutal way. The Highway of Sorrow as in the following days Jarcar and Higgins marched down over a million men and women for them to be wasted in the costly war Stremm waged against the Dark Eldar. Over 1000 bodies lined the miles as people were executed by the marches the commissars ordered. Yet countless more died as Stremm used them to retrieve more advanced wargear and they were severely lacking in training, but it spared him causalities of his better soldiers who could whittle down the numbers of the Dark Eldar, and he noted that even a Succubus could be overwhelmed as one were taken down despite slaying over 200 humans in gory and scary ways, yet one failed dodge meant she was impaled on a sword an elderly woman had picked up. Her victory was short-lived as a Dark Lance disintegrated her. The Dark Eldar eventually was beaten back, but for a truly horrendous cost in human life. Yet very few good soldiers were lost, only mainly armed civilians.

Nice one Beaviz.

To point out one thing though, the guard seem to be killing the civilians in a borderline Khornate manner, with that amount of killings, I'd be very much on the look out for both severe uprisings, which may lead to more bad guys, and even some Imperial forces being called in to take the murderous 'good guys' down.

Just IMHO though.

Thank you TRL.

I try to represent the black and blacker morality of the setting with my writing. At one hand it seems brutal to press-gang civilians to charge ahead. But Stremm basically has two kind of soldiers, elite troopers like Karskins and Freudakians and untrained civilians. He can go down as a hero, condemning billions of civilians to Commorragh by committing all his soldiers in stopping them and failing. Or he could commit the civilians into bloody battles as meat-shields and distractions from his real soldiers and win the war.

Also they are extremely poor fighters as many doesn't even survive the march. And the troopers knowing their artillery-strikes are doomed to kill thousands of civilians for every barrage grows cynical (I mean Carrus happily launches nukes just to go out with a big bang). I must admit that my heroes has slid down the slippery slope when it comes to be being nice, but they are fighting something far worse and doesn't care anymore of the means to achieve success, and the corruption is already rampant I mean 15 millions faced 15.000. I see your point though as my chars has passed a few moral event horizonts with their actions. I really look forward to writing a chapter of the varying degrees of PTSD my chars shall suffer under, but there are no times for breakdowns as there are enemies around every corner, and when not they are exterminating the too old too fight to relieve the supply-lines (nevermind the thought of them abandoning them to the Dark Eldars) as a non-combatant is not a priority for those people. It's hell in Hell Pit.

That's perfectly fine then.

Just don't be surprised if your characters get suspicious looks from the higher-up's.

They don't seem to have any higher ups barring an Inquisitor they let boss them around for no real reason...

Well at this point, I'd think that Inquisitor would be getting rather fed up and suspicious..

Probably not...
At this point they wouldn't care how something is done.
Any kind of subtlety has long since been abandoned.
But that's implying the two protagonists have been nice enough not to shoot them off-hand for looking at them funny or something equally arbitrary...

The reason is a High Inquisitor purplefood. Also Kelkaris is in support of the heavy-handed methods as he knows the cost of saving everyone. That cost him 100 billions later on due to Genestealers, and he has bitter enmity to the Space Marines because of it. He reveals that information to Carrus in a bid to execute a soldier under his command. Only Carrus pleading with him causes him to abandon that line of thought, and mind you he was the one pressuring a hesitant Carrus into beheading the old civilians. I have tried to remedy the treatment he receives from them, as that actually was a better point. Now I have re-done some of the dialogue and having them suggest ideas to him instead, even though Carrus and Ionza technically only have to answer to High-Inquisitor Selpid which is so mighty that he only answers to the High Lords of Terra, but he is a background character for me. He basically grants my two protagonists a planet for them to rule, that's a major point for me in this mess.

Just because they are following orders from a High Inquisitor doesn't mean they can attack and threaten a Lord Commissar who was merely doing his job...
It also doesn't mean they can back chat another Inquisitor.
No Inquisitor has power over another barring those with orders from a triumvirate.
In fact Inquisitors don't even answer to the HLoT... technically anyway...
The planet thing is also fairly strange.
They're what? Early 20's? They have hardly done a thing that means they deserve an entire planet unless you count executing whoever they find that is breathing in a disagreeable way. (Ignoring the balls out insane stuff you seem to make them do constantly)

purplefood, you should try reading some of the insanity in Ciaphas Cain, if I were to follow that route Greater Daemons would run around screaming in terror getting pursued by Carrus, nevermind insanity everyone who post fluff makes. Everyone have people going over the top at different stages in regards to their heroes.

The thing with them getting a planet has to do with birthright, and for unknown reasons the Inquisition chose to back that claim as Carrus and Ionza are holding the planet alive, and sure I know my writing ain't perfect, but I write for myself first and foremost, then for people that actually likes it. I don't care so much for people that thinks it's cruddy, but harping about what my chars can do. Have you read any literature whatsoever? Game of Thrones had teenagers leading armies, nevermind Jamie taking out the finest knight at just 15. Harry Potter, gang of teenagers against the mightiest wizard ever. Wheel of Time. Heyh a blacksmith's boy gets wolf-like powers, nevermind the awesomeness Rand accomplishes early on. Ender's Game nuff said. Sure I can be criticized for following them, and being nothing new under the sun. At least my chars are adults, though very violent as I don't bother packing it in describing the really ugly stuff (which with Ciaphas Cain only happens behind the scenes the executions of civilians and such, even though they gleefully looks at Arbites going at peaceful demonstrators). The drafting of the civilians actually I got from Armageddon, where anyone over 7 was ordered into the battleline against the orks.

Also in regards to that Lord-Commissar, he endangered them to artillery-strikes. That they couldn't abide with, and lets say it was an Inquisitorial order, plus both could essentially pull rank on him due to Harken. I should have used Grandmaster-Inquisitor for Selpid as that's more in line with his authority about the sector and why Kelkaris choose to be a bit humble near his representatives. So there you have it all explained.

Beaviz81 wrote:purplefood, you should try reading some of the insanity in Ciaphas Cain, if I were to follow that route Greater Daemons would run around screaming in terror getting pursued by Carrus, nevermind insanity everyone who post fluff makes. Everyone have people going over the top at different stages in regards to their heroes.

Ciaphas Cain is very mortal when it comes to things like that.
He survives by cheating during his fights...
So far your Commissar has killed at least 2 greater daemons and gone toe to toe with a DE grand-archon (Or whatever his title was).

The thing with them getting a planet has to do with birthright, and for unknown reasons the Inquisition chose to back that claim as Carrus and Ionza are holding the planet alive, and sure I know my writing ain't perfect, but I write for myself first and foremost, then for people that actually likes it. I don't care so much for people that thinks it's cruddy, but harping about what my chars can do. Have you read any literature whatsoever? Game of Thrones had teenagers leading armies, nevermind Jamie taking out the finest knight at just 15. Harry Potter, gang of teenagers against the mightiest wizard ever. Wheel of Time. Heyh a blacksmith's boy gets wolf-like powers, nevermind the awesomeness Rand accomplishes early on. Ender's Game nuff said. Sure I can be criticized for following them, and being nothing new under the sun. At least my chars are adults, though very violent as I don't bother packing it in describing the really ugly stuff (which with Ciaphas Cain only happens behind the scenes the executions of civilians and such, even though they gleefully looks at Arbites going at peaceful demonstrators). The drafting of the civilians actually I got from Armageddon, where anyone over 7 was ordered into the battleline against the orks.

Have i read any literature whatsoever?
Considering i'm waiting for English Literature A level results i should damn well hope so...
I'm not saying you don't make them special just tone it in a lot. Currently they are total masters of weaponry above even members of the Astartes and the Dark Eldar. It's kinda pointless reading the action scenes because it's obvious what's going to happen. All the bad people are going to die and the good guys will be totally untouched.
The drafting of civilians is fine to be honest... though it'd make more sense if it was actual drafting and not just sending unarmed civilians out and about...

Also in regards to that Lord-Commissar, he endangered them to artillery-strikes. That they couldn't abide with, and lets say it was an Inquisitorial order, plus both could essentially pull rank on him due to Harken. I should have used Grandmaster-Inquisitor for Selpid as that's more in line with his authority about the sector and why Kelkaris choose to be a bit humble near his representatives. So there you have it all explained.

If the commissars have a problem with being endangered then they need to find a new job...
They still can't pull rank on him...
No matter what rank their super special bestest friend in the world they can't pull rank on someone who outranks them. That's not how an army works and it is totally out of order for a commissar since they are the ones who are supposed to be keeping discipline within the regiments. Now if they had a reasonable order from an Inquisitor for it that might make sense but even if they had an order it would still have to be reasonable, a commissar's first duty is to the discipline of those under his jurisdiction (Usually not more than a regiment).
If you really wanted him dead you could simply make him a much older lord commissar and say his mind snapped under the strain of his long years in command. Then the slightly less trigger happy commissar could relieve him of duty.

I have to say, pretty much everything purps has said makes sense, and is pretty sound advice if you want to make your fluff more believable.

You should have read the chapter about him fighting a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh. I think I did a far better job than Sandy Mitchell in that regard about the demon-fight as that demon basically spent the chapter first murdering Khorne Berzerkers (by picking them up and squeezing them to death just like a toddler would do if your let a hamster into it's crib), then she dropped the ball and elected to do irrational things like lusting for the soul of Cain, licking the arm of another commissar and run around in circles screaming in terror while the IG present put pot-shot after pot-shot on her (I have seen Giants in WHFB acting more coherently than that Keeper of Secret, but it's one of the worst written demon-battles I have read). Nevermind that Cain himself dominates not just Khorne Berzerkers in CC but also manages that against a Space Marine Tech-Priest of a loyal chapter and scraping his chest with his chainsword in a sparring-match.

I'm sorry that the action-scenes seems boring for you, I see your point however, but I also wanted Carrus to be established as one of the finest fencers in the IOM from an early age as such skills are not something you just learn, you need natural skill as well. So I added the weapons early on as gifts from a Tech-Priest (which is partly my explanation for them getting away with being in a relationship on the Schola, and their rather free choice of weapons and wargear plus Harken helps them every time they are in hot waters which is a lot due to their heavy disciplinary-reports, which they were never punished for). Plus the sword Carrus wields powers him to an unknown degree, which I have explained with soul-binding to the weapon as I have dropped the guys I originally wanted to be the equalizers in the Space Marines, but my penchant for killing them made me drop the Space Marines. As for their weapons, they got them from an early age, and showed talent with them. It's pointless reading any action-scenes with main-chars in any series if you take that approach, and it's a lie that Ciaphas Cain cheat as much as you claim to, mostly he adopts a defensive move-pattern with his chainsword (he does that almost as much as he drinks tea) and then the opponent makes a mistake and he strikes. And it's not true the most complete monsters Dirach'Nyrr and Archon Dagoth is still very much alive, I plan to write more about their heinous deeds as they are the creatures of utter villainy, which I indeed have longterm plans for. And should they die, they can just resurrect.

I think I have killed four Greater Daemons thus far, one by a Dark Eldar Succubus, one by Carrus after it slaughtered almost everyone he was with and he did it with fire and silver (I kidnaps things from Conan a lot), there were a KOS I think Ionza ordered in an air-strike on and it was the Bloodthrister that Jarcar tossed into the warp and happily died before it could possess him.

No sensible soldier would want to receive a shelling, that's why he is stripped of his uniform, but I see your point, he can be nutty enough to order his men to march in a straight line facing enemy fire or something like that. Also Carrus is the head-commissar of the Zylvanian regiment as Harken has appointed him (normally a young commissar is a junior commissar who has the jurisdiction of a platoon or something like that, not a rather senior rank, but Harken elected to give him a senior rank no matter what, never mind as I interpret it, the lower graded cadets must serve in commissar training-squads). Plus with the messy battlefield in my writing your rank doesn't really matter anymore. Cadians, Fredaukians, Zylvanians and Tanibusians has lost all cohesion and form rag-tag units due to the many complete routs inflicted upon them by the Dark Eldars nevermind the demons and cultists all over the place, and the Lord-Commissar serves in the PDF, so there is a natural enmity between Cavenaugh and Carrus and Ionza. Commissars are known to execute their local counterparts for overstepping their authority.

I wasn't aware that you took a literary course purplefood nevermind having an A-grade, anyway the sources I have based my writing upon is at times over the top, I must admit that and the same goes for my writing at times as well as I don't rank myself highly as an action-writer, I'm far better at writing more peaceful stuff. So give me examples of how I shall tone things in. That help would be appreciated. Criticism is okay to a certain degree, but I need pointers instead of complaints.

Beaviz81 wrote:You should have read the chapter about him fighting a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh. I think I did a far better job than Sandy Mitchell in that regard about the demon-fight as that demon basically spent the chapter first murdering Khorne Berzerkers (by picking them up and squeezing them to death just like a toddler would do if your let a hamster into it's crib), then she dropped the ball and elected to do irrational things like lusting for the soul of Cain, licking the arm of another commissar and run around in circles screaming in terror while the IG present put pot-shot after pot-shot on her (I have seen Giants in WHFB acting more coherently than that Keeper of Secret, but it's one of the worst written demon-battles I have read). Nevermind that Cain himself dominates not just Khorne Berzerkers in CC but also manages that against a Space Marine Tech-Priest of a loyal chapter and scraping his chest with his chainsword in a sparring-match.

Cain was a commissar for a long time before that however. His natural talent is improved upon by intensely rigorous training and experience.
The KoS was driven a bit panicky by the blank in the room. The berserkers that had charged in beforehand didn't have that protection and so were easy prey for the KoS' powers.
Incidentally Cain manages to keep the berserkers away from him before they get nailed by a meltagun blast. Keeping an axe away from you isn't all that hard when it comes down to it.
Both the blank and the meltagun count as cheating if you ask me... which is perfectly reasonable.

I'm sorry that the action-scenes seems boring for you, I see your point however, but I also wanted Carrus to be established as one of the finest fencers in the IOM from an early age as such skills are not something you just learn, you need natural skill as well. So I added the weapons early on as gifts from a Tech-Priest (which is partly my explanation for them getting away with being in a relationship on the Schola, and their rather free choice of weapons and wargear plus Harken helps them every time they are in hot waters which is a lot due to their heavy disciplinary-reports, which they were never punished for). Plus the sword Carrus wields powers him to an unknown degree, which I have explained with soul-binding to the weapon as I have dropped the guys I originally wanted to be the equalizers in the Space Marines, but my penchant for killing them made me drop the Space Marines. As for their weapons, they got them from an early age, and showed talent with them. It's pointless reading any action-scenes with main-chars in any series if you take that approach, and it's a lie that Ciaphas Cain cheat as much as you claim to, mostly he adopts a defensive move-pattern with his chainsword (he does that almost as much as he drinks tea) and then the opponent makes a mistake and he strikes. And it's not true the most complete monsters Dirach'Nyrr and Archon Dagoth is still very much alive, I plan to write more about their heinous deeds as they are the creatures of utter villainy, which I indeed have longterm plans for. And should they die, they can just resurrect.

The fact they are never punished is fairly unrealistic...
Especially seeing as they apparently outright murdered half the damn scholam.
Commissars are trained to keep order and discipline. They are trained to hold themselves to the same standard. There are exceptions but they do not prove the rule.

I think I have killed four Greater Daemons thus far, one by a Dark Eldar Succubus, one by Carrus after it slaughtered almost everyone he was with and he did it with fire and silver (I kidnaps things from Conan a lot), there were a KOS I think Ionza ordered in an air-strike on and it was the Bloodthrister that Jarcar tossed into the warp and happily died before it could possess him.

I know i read him going toe to toe with at least 3. That's too much. Greater daemons are not summoned out of hand, great effort is made to prevent one being summoned or destroy one once it has been summoned. At the very least there should be less of them and they should put up a larger fight when they are encountered...

No sensible soldier would want to receive a shelling, that's why he is stripped of his uniform, but I see your point, he can be nutty enough to order his men to march in a straight line facing enemy fire or something like that. Also Carrus is the head-commissar of the Zylvanian regiment as Harken has appointed him (normally a young commissar is a junior commissar who has the jurisdiction of a platoon or something like that, not a rather senior rank, but Harken elected to give him a senior rank no matter what, never mind as I interpret it, the lower graded cadets must serve in commissar training-squads). Plus with the messy battlefield in my writing your rank doesn't really matter anymore. Cadians, Fredaukians, Zylvanians and Tanibusians has lost all cohesion and form rag-tag units due to the many complete routs inflicted upon them by the Dark Eldars nevermind the demons and cultists all over the place, and the Lord-Commissar serves in the PDF, so there is a natural enmity between Cavenaugh and Carrus and Ionza. Commissars are known to execute their local counterparts for overstepping their authority.

No sensible soldier no. The Imperial Guard doesn't recruit based on that and commissars sure as hell don't care what soldiers think. Their job is to ensure their charges do as they're damn well told. If a Guard regiment is ordered to march into the Eye of Terror there will be a commissar shooting anyone who dares to turn back and he won't think for a second about his own life. Your rank in writing does matter in a messy battlefield. In fact it's one of the few things that does in those situations. Imagine if a guardsman could override a Colonel or a Lord-General just because the battle lines got a bit messy? It would be chaos. One of the few things still holding the Imperium together is the usually Iron discipline of the Imperial Guard because that's what they do. They hold the line and they die there if they have to. Commissars can execute another commissar if they overstep their authority but even then a Lord Commissar has boundless more authority than a regular commissar. A Lord Commissar has authority over battlegroups and armies where a regular commissar might have authority over a regiment at most. Incidentally a Lord Commissar becomes a Lord Commissar through incredible feats on the battlefield, it's not something that just happens eventually. It'd be likely one placed in charge of the PDF of a planet would be nearing retirement and incredibly respected in the ranks of the commissariat considering he survived his own heroics...

I wasn't aware that you took a literary course purplefood nevermind having an A-grade, anyway the sources I have based my writing upon is at times over the top, I must admit that and the same goes for my writing at times as well as I don't rank myself highly as an action-writer, I'm far better at writing more peaceful stuff.

I would like to get an A grade
An A level is a 2 year college course not the grade you recieve.

Look purplefood, I need tips more than criticism. Carrus already have a sword powered by the spirit of a blank along with him carrying a meltagun which he uses as a pistol thanks to my interpretation of the Machine Spirits, and it's extremely radical. I have even let the Rosarius he carries save his life a few times. The point is without the protection Carrus had in the battle with the KOS everyone would die (of course Jurgen being a live blank might have a better effect than the essence inside a weapon, the demons might be different in strength and other reasons), and he didn't escape unharmed. Internal bleeding, he suffered from that fight for months after it, and it hampered him in his fist-fight with his mentor Nathan Harken. Plus without the sword his ability as a fighter severely decreases as the Eversor showed when he tackled him. The fight with Xel is always disrupted by fireballs emitting from the swords, and mind you Xel is basically wielding a Hellblade, which is no advantage when facing a demon-slayer.

Carrus only goes toe to toe with one greater daemon. The other demon-encounters up close is Dirach'Nyrr, Carrus racing with Xel'Aggaddon to reach one, but it's taken out by artillery-fire or an air-strike, Harken and Stremm murdering a few confused Bloodletters after shelling them with Silver Prometium-grenades and Carrus swirling a Bloodletter off it's feet after sneaking up on it then slaying it.

The entire thing about the Schola Progeniums are unrealistic. Carrus and Ionza were the golden kids of their Schola Progenium, and was allowed way more leeway than they should have. And yeah it's totally unrealistic the way they are treated there, yet they are treated in that way as I have seen such things happen myself at schools. And Carrus showed that he didn't back away from bullying Natrax when he had to circumvent an Inquisitorial order of killing soldiers (which he hates). Again I'm stating that much of the premise of this is the over-doting teachers the couple have as a fundament. I mean I can't justify them getting away with what they get away with without them having a maddening backing, and that is not gonna change at all, so you harping over this point is moot. And no they didn't murder half of their Schola Progenium.

I could slam back at you and say the Lord-Commissar was a PDF-commissariat thingy and that the three other Imperial servants uses it derogatory, not respecting his authority which I think I actually shall do, as that scoffing seems appropriate without me changing the tune too much. As for Carrus and Ionza, at the very least they are pragmatic soldiers who does whatever has to be done good enough for an Inquisitor to be pleased. There are little doubt that at least Ionza would snipe anyone faltering, and Carrus I have made a decision a long time ago where he is known to never having executed any soldier under his command, though he shall be a heartless bastard nevertheless where the soldiers doesn't dare fleeing from him due to his weapons nevermind his ferocious behavior. That's also pretty much set in stone. Same with them being driven extremely hard.

Basically what I'm willing to change is some of the action-thingies and some dialogue maybe. I like to keep my work much as it is, and I feel I have tried to give good explanations. If you ain't pleased then I'm sorry, but this is as far as I discuss the matter.

Well then i have nothing else to say if you're not willing to change anything.

Well....This certainly has gone from slightly OTT to flat out dullness. I agree with purpelfood, if you want people beside from you and a few more to like this it needs some major reworking. And I strongly disagree with what you said about doing a better job than the author of Commissar Cain books.

Only the demon-fight Trondheim. But that's mostly because of the demon running away in abject terror which really sat badly with me.

I'm sorry you feel that way Trondheim. Hm alcohol might have dragged the quality down a notch, and in general I'm not a good action-writer.

I was referring to the story as a whole, and yes. Those two things never go well together. to make good action scenes the balance of power needs to be somewhat equal for the most part. with a few exceptions of course. And blanks have that effect on daemons/ psykers in general

I have a problem with making fight scenes one sided too. My suggestion is have at least one moment in the fight where the protagonist could lose (like he's knocked off balance and could potentially be stabbed in the face) and have at least one moment where he's in pain (like if he's knee'd in the groin or has his foot chopped off). It seems to help me, so it might help you.

However, a one sided fight is okay every once in awhile. The Sopranos, one of the most acclaimed television series of all time had a lot of one sided 'whackings'. If someone comes up behind you with a gun and you're unarmed, odds are that you're not gunna last long.

The hit scenes in the Sopranos suited the genre however... and they were believable...
If you put a 24 year old with a talent for sword play against a 14 foot, thousand year old monster whose only purpose existing is to kill things then there needs to be a better reason for him to win than 'He's good with a sword'

purplefood I tried to explain away how Carrus could spar with things above him with the sword he is wielding. I must admit I have changed him a lot. Just go private for the details, but I have a strong suspicion that you would like the Carrus of the past who was just a lucky meltagunner with a very mean streak to the Carrus you have read about.

Plus I added sword that can beat demons as a premium with the blank-powered swords I already have here, and as an added bonus is soul-bound as a major reason for it.

The blank powered sword that shoots fireballs?
Yeah that seems perfectly sensible... the soul bound doesn't make much sense either...
The Carrus i have read about shot 100 cadets for knowing about a person...
It's not that i don't appreciate a character willing to commit senseless violence or even violence they think will give them an edge. I just find it odd how a cadet of a political/discipline corps of a brutal authoritarian military force can shoot 100 of his fellow cadets and get off totally free... and you keep mentioning these 'doting teachers' but really at that point they just look like idiots for letting themselves be led around by Mr MassMurder there...

purplefood, the black fireballs slang both commissar and Incubus aside due to the reaction the blades had to eachother. They slammed through walls for the sake of the Emperor.

You can or cannot accept the soul-binding. It's my poor attempt to explain anything in my fan-fiction.

Carrus executed over 100 people that resembled a greater demon which he earlier had encountered, and choose to execute, which I then again had murder a servant with a fork. And still Carrus is the villain here, because he happily killed anyone touched by that demon. That is very strange.

How exactly can people resemble a greater daemon?

Great unclean ones are huge, bloated, rotting and generaly utterly disgusting.
Bloodthirsters are huge, red, hyper-violent, and a perfect fit for the word 'daemon'
The keepers of Secrets are huge, multi-limbed and often with messed up looking heads (you know what I mean, all points and noseless)
And Lords of change have bird faces.

Question, I've been following the critiques rather than the story (sorry, I couldn't get into it). There was a mention about Blanks disrupting daemons/pskyers... Don't normal people dislike being near blanks for the same reason, just not to the same degree.

Forgive but could I get a quick rundown of the blank's presence against the greater daemon's fight?