Advanced notice: The store will be closed for redecoration during the last week of November. This may take a while, as in keeping with national policy, we can only use Games Workshop brushes in store.
Did you know that we also sell models for Warhammer Fantasy Battle? No, neither did we.
We would like to announce a forthcoming 25% Sale at our store. We really would. We're not having one, but it would be nice if we could announce one.
Once we've sold all the existing stock, the Forgeworld Books will no longer be available in our store. This is because the price-tag is so large it's causing the shelves to break.
Good morning hobbyists, just a reminder that Sunday is ill-conceived conversions day.
Bring your awful conversions, bits made out of spru and ill-conceived and over ambitious models in tomorrow and swear to the Lord our Emperor that we won't laugh. Not even giggle.
Promise.
We are pleased to announce that we are taking orders for the Ultimate Paint Set. It's only £280 for 1.72 litres of paint.
In line with national policy, we will be releasing all store news on Warseer, rather than our own website. After all, if it's on Warseer, it has to be true.
Please bring the right amount of cash when making your purchases, as we do no carry the smaller denominations of money. This is because we acknowledge that people fear change.
Yes, we do sell trolls. No, they don't come with an internet connection.
The Dark Angels Codex is coming out soon. The Dark Angels are part of the grim darkness, and lurk in the dark, dealing in dark things against the darkness. We will be having a themed release shortly, bring a torch.
New White Dwarf is out tommorow. In order to make the reading experience even smoother, this issue has even more stock pictures of models and even less words...
Just a reminder that Monday Night is Ladies Night.
(To be honest, I'm expecting to lock up early).
(...)
Big shout out to San and Tray who came out for Ladies Night last night. They seemed to have a lot of fun, certainly they giggled a lot.
Just a quick reminder; it's called a Space Marine, not 'little fella', and the models are always on display in the cabinet, no need to ask the staff to show them to you.
Please be aware: We no longer stock magazines for our line of Specialist Games. Also, please remember that these should never be referred to as "Specialist Magazines".
We have not, nor will we ever, sell "Khorne Flakes". However, if you look in the staff fridge, you will find Nurgle.
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Once we've sold all the existing stock, the Forgeworld Books will no longer be available in our store. This is because the price-tag is so large it's causing the shelves to break.
I like this post, haha
Edit: Also this.
It's half-term in Fulchester this week. Parents are reminded that the creche is across the road, and children left unattended will be filled full of sugar, caffeine and paint and then handed back to their parents.
"New White Dwarf is out tommorow. In order to make the reading experience even smoother, this issue has even more stock pictures of models and even less words..."
Definitely, I thought Fulchester sounded familiar but the mention of "San and Tray" confirmed it.
Games Workshop Fulchester wrote:We eagerly anticipate further books, including Drudgeries of the Space Marines, Potteries of The Space Marines and of course, Knobkerries of the Space Marines.
Games Workshop Fulchester wrote:We have a new stock of the Horus Heresy Forgeworld books and models. Patron who do not yet own these products may also delighted to learn that Honest Larry's Organ Harvesting Shop has a special on kidneys this week.
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
Both disturbing and hilarious - that's us war gamers
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
Both disturbing and hilarious - that's us war gamers
SCORES of disappointed rioters queued up this morning to return goods they had mistakenly looted from Games Workshop.
What the feth is this when it's at home?
The crestfallen thieves had raided the store hoping for a PS3 or Nintendo bounty but arrived home to find they had stolen a box containing 300 unpainted Orcs and a board game called Beyond the Ultraforest of Kwang.
Martin Bishop, 19, said: “I am returning The Runering of Fangor.
“It includes two dice, each with about 40 sides and instructions on how to gain the trust of a ‘cloud wizard’.
“And yet somehow I’m the fething bad guy.”
He added: “Nevertheless I am now immune to Dwarven magic, so it hasn’t been a complete waste of time.”
Meanwhile, historical kitsch outlet Past Times reported the return of a pair or resin bookends in the shape of the Egyptian cat-god Sekhmet and 254 teak statues of a fat, reclining Buddha.
And in Manchester, people who stole copies of Limitless starring Bradley Cooper have been setting fire to them and throwing them back through the window of HMV.
Roy Hobbs, manager of Games Workshop in Birmingham, said: “Welcome home my children. Let me bathe you in the healing milk of Fagnarbarak.
" Today will be our busiest weekday of the year, as people come in asking if we stock Call of Duty and we pelt them with sprues and bits of Space Marine."
Parents: You have 15 minutes remaining to burst into the store and randomly buy anything that isn't nailed down in a desperate attempt to appease your beloved spawn.
After a rather horrifying entry arrived in the store today, we'd like to point out that our new conversion competition is for Vampire COunt models, and can only apologise for any confusion the misprint may have caused.
Oh dear, that's a disturbing image that is now etched onto my brain. Vagina dentata, eh?
Just a reminder that Monday Night is Ladies Night.
(To be honest, I'm expecting to lock up early).
(...)
Big shout out to San and Tray who came out for Ladies Night last night. They seemed to have a lot of fun, certainly they giggled a lot.
Just a quick reminder; it's called a Space Marine, not 'little fella', and the models are always on display in the cabinet, no need to ask the staff to show them to you.
Viz actually did a GW strip a few years back, "34 year old obsessive War Workshop assistant". Not their finest hour, but it isn't even as funny as it used to be when it wasn't as funny as it was. Still get it though.
Can anyone make a guess at who is doing this site? Have to say its someone with a wicked sense of humour.
GW showed in the past they don't mind people having a bit of fun (the Golden Throne and Turn Signal on a Land Raider sites lasted for years, until they tried to start making money off of it) so hopefully this site won't go anywhere soon...
I would say almost certainly a GW employee, not just a red-shirt but someone who does or used to work in a higher or development role - just based on the number of in jokes there are. The latest post, concerning the Horus Heresy weekender:
We cannot confirm or deny that there is a secret 'Gold Ticket' available for this event which allows you to spend the entire Friday before the event gently stroking Alan Bligh's beard and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
GW Fulchester on 12th march wrote:We are pleased to announce that we have streamlined the miniature collecting process. For a large sum of money we will simply give you an empty box with an exciting picture of a Space Marine on the front.
We call this the "You won't get round to painting it anyway" scheme.
GW Fulchester today wrote:As many of you may know, the next super secret release will be the Tau. The hard working staff at GW Fulchester found this out thanks to GWHQ's revolutionary new marketing method, which appears to the untrained eye like a dyspraxic chimp has been taking photos of the new White Dwarf with a camera phone, but is actually a state-of-the-art media marketing technique.
We did stock Death from the Skies, but head office told use we couldn't have any more after we folded the last batch into paper aeroplanes. You can order it from the shop, because we understand the reason people go to the store is to shop online.
Some great comments added in the side of the main page:
David Williamson wrote:The freezer that I use to store fine cast in has broken down, any chance I could use the stores? I just don't want it to go off in the mild spring were having.
Response:
Games Workshop: Fulchester wrote:Finecast does not melt in excess heat. They instead soften in the presence of intense manliness, which is a common feature amongst our customers. To prevent melting, wear additional pants.
Question:
Inquisitor Darius wrote: I'm new to this wargaming malarkey - do sisters of battle go with the Allied or Axis armies of a North Africa Campaign?
Response:
Games Workshop: Fulchester wrote:Sisters of Battle can be used in any game, with the exception of chess, Monopoly and of course, Warhammer 40,000. 2 hours ago · Like
Inquisitor Darius wrote:
I'm new to this wargaming malarkey - do sisters of battle go with the Allied or Axis armies of a North Africa Campaign?
Response:
Games Workshop: Fulchester wrote:Sisters of Battle can be used in any game, with the exception of chess, Monopoly and of course, Warhammer 40,000.
2 hours ago · Like
Great stuff, I subscribe to Viz, got my new issue today, as already mentioned they did do a GW strip once, could be the author of that behind the FB page.
jimbolina25 wrote: HAHA I love it!.. I imagined this in preston GW though
What you mean my local GW? yes that place thats closed on mondays and tuesdays and that gives anyone over the age of 16 entering a dirty look and is so bloody small but they refuse to open up the downstairs room despite the fact that it is entirely seperate from the stock room and whose staff throw you out unless your buying something and whom allow only one hour for a game or painting session and you have to book in advance? That one?
BTW just out of plain curiosity who are you. (probably better to PM me this) I might have seen you around.
Oh and BTW there is a new FLGS just down the road that sells GW stuff at a discount and that stocks all forms of games and is huge and awsome. And not nazi like of for that matter they dont throw you out for nothing. Its called Worthy Games and this is its facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WorthyGaming
Squigsquasher wrote: Actually, the leaked release schedule, which has been accurate so far, says that SIsters will be the next 40K release.
Nope. Hastings doesn't see them in the next two years. Only Harry is wondering where their release went, because they were started right after Grey Knights.
Actually GW haven't really done anything about satire-type sites in the past, whether through intention of perhaps because they couldn't really do anything to shut them down.
Turn Signals on a Land Raider and The Golden Throne were fine until they started trying to make money out of their work, and that was when the legal team stepped in.
Games Workshop: Fulchester wrote:Our new range of £30 t-shirts not only ensures that you're best dressed nerd in the town, it will also help alert our highly trained staff that you have a wallet much larger than your common-sense.
Games Workshop: Fulchester wrote:Our new range of £30 t-shirts not only ensures that you're best dressed nerd in the town, it will also help alert our highly trained staff that you have a wallet much larger than your common-sense.
Lol yes that is good
But i preffered the one about the empty space marine boxes for vast sums of money
They blocked me from posting on their FB because I called them out on a post they made about the Black Library t-shirts and their pricing, which in the US, isn't that much different than the standard T-Shirt you'd purchase in a store.
Pacific wrote: I think blocking you for being a party-pooper is fair enough
Of course, if it were actually GW blocking him and deleting his posts, we'd get a million "GW ARE FASCISTS OPPRESSING ANY CRITICISM PLAY WARMAHORDES OR INFINITY INSTEAD!!!!" posts.
cincydooley wrote: They blocked me from posting on their FB because I called them out on a post they made about the Black Library t-shirts and their pricing, which in the US, isn't that much different than the standard T-Shirt you'd purchase in a store.
Then they deleted my posts.
Then I stopped following them.
They can dish it, but they can't take it.
So... you pointed out a perceived error in a 'none joking manner, in essense, defending the target of their sardonic posts? Can't imagine why they deleted your post.
Pacific wrote: I think blocking you for being a party-pooper is fair enough
Of course, if it were actually GW blocking him and deleting his posts, we'd get a million "GW ARE FASCISTS OPPRESSING ANY CRITICISM PLAY WARMAHORDES OR INFINITY INSTEAD!!!!" posts.
... I... but... I really don't know where to start with replying to that post.
I will settle for a ) you completely missing the point of my post, and that facebook page for that matter and b ) GW not actually having a Facebook page, making any discussion about it completely hypothetical..
Actually made me think of a certain Red Dwarf sketch, so thanks for giving me a laugh in any case
Cat: OK, I say let's get into the jet-powered rocket pants and junior birdman the hell outta here!
Kryten: An excellent and inventive suggestion, Sir, with just two minor drawbacks...
A - We don't have any jet-powered rocket pants and
B - There's no such thing as jet-powered rocket pants outside the fictional serial "Robbie Rocketpants".
Cat: Well that's put a crimp on an otherwise damn fine plan.
cincydooley wrote: They blocked me from posting on their FB because I called them out on a post they made about the Black Library t-shirts and their pricing, which in the US, isn't that much different than the standard T-Shirt you'd purchase in a store.
Then they deleted my posts.
Then I stopped following them.
They can dish it, but they can't take it.
I'm sure the guy who checks the facebook page will be right onto head management about that!
For anyone wondering, this is why GW doesn't have official forums.
cincydooley wrote: They blocked me from posting on their FB because I called them out on a post they made about the Black Library t-shirts and their pricing, which in the US, isn't that much different than the standard T-Shirt you'd purchase in a store.
Then they deleted my posts.
Then I stopped following them.
They can dish it, but they can't take it.
I'm sure the guy who checks the facebook page will be right onto head management about that!
For anyone wondering, this is why GW doesn't have official forums.
Brylly. Fulchester is a fictitious northern town from Viz magazine.
Feel free to explain what in the original post was supposed to be funny?
The very fact that you've taken all this effort to reply to my one comment, rather than simply thinking "he didn't get the joke" and just move on, is rather telling. Do you have a crush on me or something? You seem to go to great lengths for my attention
BryllCream wrote: Feel free to explain what in the original post was supposed to be funny?
The very fact that you've taken all this effort to reply to my one comment, rather than simply thinking "he didn't get the joke" and just move on, is rather telling. Do you have a crush on me or something? You seem to go to great lengths for my attention
I guess me responding to your daft nonsense has become a conditioned behaviour.
it's actually 30 squids for the shirt, so more like $50us...
not a bad price for a limited edition shirt, if you like that sort of thing, but then my "wallet is much larger than my common sense", thus why i still buy GW products...hahahahahahaha
seriously, if you can't poke some fun at yourself, you need to relax a little...
KalashnikovMarine wrote: I do want to know where he's paying $30 for a t-shirt though, serious rip off.
Anywhere at a mall?
Not terribly uncommon for t-shirts to be between $20-$40. Affliction, DeathThrone, other MMA type Ts are routinely $40-$80. Hell, most Nike/Adidias graphic Ts are around $30.
Automatically Appended Next Post: T-Shirt in question BTW:
H.B.M.C. wrote: I gotto say, these guys don't seem to update very much. That's sad.
And is it any wonder that Cin and Bryll are the two in here who just don't "get it".
No no, I "get" it and thought a lot of their posts were pretty funny.
I didn't think this one worked well because the price of the shirt isn't that far off from what you see anytime you walk into a Macy's or Nordstroms or any other shop at the mall.
I told them that.
They gave me a churlish reply and then deleted my posts.
So because of that petulant response, I stopped "liking" them on FB. End of story.
H.B.M.C. wrote: I gotto say, these guys don't seem to update very much. That's sad.
And is it any wonder that Cin and Bryll are the two in here who just don't "get it".
No no, I "get" it and thought a lot of their posts were pretty funny.
I didn't think this one worked well because the price of the shirt isn't that far off from what you see anytime you walk into a Macy's or Nordstroms or any other shop at the mall.
I told them that.
They gave me a churlish reply and then deleted my posts.
So because of that petulant response, I stopped "liking" them on FB. End of story.
I'm out.
Yeah thats weak, I shall remove my like as well. It was a pretty funny page, but being the owner of every Viz book, I think they just stole the vast majority from its pages anyway.
cincydooley wrote: I didn't think this one worked well because the price of the shirt isn't that far off from what you see anytime you walk into a Macy's or Nordstroms or any other shop at the mall.
Are you also mailing to the producers of "How I Met Your Mother", arguing why a certain joke is not working for you and waiting for an answer?
No no, I "get" it and thought a lot of their posts were pretty funny.
I didn't think this one worked well because the price of the shirt isn't that far off from what you see anytime you walk into a Macy's or Nordstroms or any other shop at the mall.
I told them that.
They gave me a churlish reply and then deleted my posts.
So because of that petulant response, I stopped "liking" them on FB. End of story.
I'm out.
Well here in Aus i don't normally spend $70+ on shirts.....
cincydooley wrote: I didn't think this one worked well because the price of the shirt isn't that far off from what you see anytime you walk into a Macy's or Nordstroms or any other shop at the mall.
Are you also mailing to the producers of "How I Met Your Mother", arguing why a certain joke is not working for you and waiting for an answer?
If they had a social media site that made it easy to do, I am sure someone would.
scotticus27 wrote: Its actually been set up by one of my mates. He did indeed used to work for them....although not in any form of high ranking position.
Can you let him know that there are some po faced individuals on t'internet who are a little too protective of their pet faceless corporation that don't find it funny?
When we ask you "What army do you collect?" it's not because we're trying to sell you paints and glue. We ask that question of everyone we meet.
At all times. In all circumstances. "What army do you collect?" is the ultimate chat up line.
2nd June:
Yes, the "coming soon" Khorne Lord of Battle / Bloodknight model is meant to look like a midget squatting on a wheelchair. It's a deliberate design choice; midgets are cool.
9th June:
As some of you may have noticed GWHQ management recently noticed that we had stopped stalking customers round the store and demanding that they talk to the staff members.
GWHQ cares about the customers, and knows that people who've been in the hobby for most of their life love being pestered about their purchases.
Please bear with us during this renewed period of enthusiasm and we'll soon be able to treat you like a human being and not a wallet on legs again.
What's funny is that GW's actual efforts are becoming a self-parody. Take this for example:
So, for 24 hours (and ONLY 24 hours) you can purchase this exclusive Iyanden force. After that, the 24 hours will have expired and you will be left with no other option but to select it all - one item at a time - for the exact same price.
This is like GW calling you an idiot while they sit there humping your dog's leg.
I suppose might be useful for a parent who has absolutely no idea what they are buying, but then there should be other guidance for that kind of thing, and it wouldn't hurt even to knock 5% off the total price!
Breotan wrote: I wonder if the "only available for 24 hours" isn't pushing the limits of advertising laws somehow?
Not really, if the 1-click bundle is genuinely only available for 24 hours. Just because you can get the same thing with half a dozen clicks doesn't matter. So it'll be within the letter of the law but is very much against the spirit. Just as with offering 0% discount bundles.
One of the highlights of working in a GW store is when we ask a customer what they are painting, and they announce (with a hint of self-satisfaction) that they're painting a none GW product.
Being hobbyists with access to the internet, we have never heard of none-GW miniature ranges, so we always politely point out to the customer that we've never heard of these things. Usually, this ends the conversation, but we delight in those all to common occasions when a customer decides to lecture us about a product we don't stock and aren't allowed to discuss in the store.
It's the little things that make this job so rewarding.
30th June:
In further Games Workshop Head Quarters News, we can happily confirm that this years 'Limited Edition' game will not be Dreadfleet. Even though we still have some in stock.
Also, just because you really want it to be Blood Bowl, that doesn't mean you get to be smug when it actually turns out to be exactly that.
GW Fulchester wrote:We are happy to announce the full story arc for the White Scars in the ongoing Horus Heresy novel series.
Jaghatai Khan and his Legion will find a horse. It will be dead. They will flog it. This book is expected to reach the top of the New York Times Best Sellers List and stay there for ever.
It will be written by either Laurie Goulding, Nick Kyme (Author) or that bloke who works reception on Wednesdays.
Spoiler:
Clive Dudley in Comments wrote:It's revealed that Justin Bieber is one of the missing Primarchs....
Everyone who likes this status update will get entered into a draw to win one of the latest releases from our Specialist Games Range. Share this status to get two chances.
At Games Workshop Fulchester, we pride ourselves on high quality mickey-taking. Then something like this comes along, which is too ridiculous to parody.
Astartes Ultra – A Complete Ultramarines Chapter | Games Workshop
We mock GW and its one click bundles, but I'd be curious to see how many they actually sell. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually do quite well - enough to justify their continued existence at least.
Truth is, you're probably right. As far as the normal bundles are. It wouldn't surprise me if it's relatively common for a parent to say to a Little Timmy. 'You can have 1 big thing for your birthday.' And they'll point at one of the medium sized one-click bundles. This theory also helps explain the move to 'strike forces.'
GW Fulchester wrote:It is Games Day UK this weekend. If you can't make this weekend, don't worry we can simulate all the thrills and spills of the event in-store.
By making you wait for an hour at the till before you can make a purchase.
GW Fulchester wrote:Amazing. Outstanding. Kudos to the hard work of the staff, and it's always nice to see a massive venue filled with the smiling faces of satisfied customers who got the play all the games they wanted.
Yes, Eurogamer Expo was really good. Also, Games Day happened. We're very sorry.
GW Fulchester wrote:Presenting, a tiny bit of a Sister of Battle. If you're very good, we may even show you a flash of ankle.
GW Digital Facebook wrote:We’ve been inundated with requests asking for a little bit more info on the new Adepta Sororitas book coming later in the month.
We don’t normally do this, but we’ll make you a deal: if you can help us get 100 new likes by the end of the day (up to 1146), we’ll let you see the new codex cover in all it’s glory.
gossipmeng wrote: We mock GW and its one click bundles, but I'd be curious to see how many they actually sell. I wouldn't be surprised if they actually do quite well - enough to justify their continued existence at least.
Hell, I would buy them if they actually offered a discount on buying each unit box individually. If you got at least one of the units free, it would be a good deal.
Our colleagues over at the Black Library, who are professional readers of things, have finally finished reading the equivalent of three books worth of submissions. It's only taken two years.
Obviously, Black Library wanted to ensure that only the best stories about Space Marines were commissioned, which is why we've utterly ignored the gak the general public have sent in and let the editorial staff and their mates write it instead. It's still gak, but this way we get to keep the money.
In other news, tickets are still available for the Black Library Weekender.
Kid, you've been told about threadomancy, while this isn't that, technically, it is almost as bad, pulling up comments from nearly 6 months ago for no useful purpose is totally irrelevant and a waste of time.
azreal13 wrote: Kid, you've been told about threadomancy, while this isn't that, technically, it is almost as bad, pulling up comments from nearly 6 months ago for no useful purpose is totally irrelevant and a waste of time.
azreal13 wrote: Kid, you've been told about threadomancy, while this isn't that, technically, it is almost as bad, pulling up comments from nearly 6 months ago for no useful purpose is totally irrelevant and a waste of time.
Kindly stop.
Tsk, tsk, some people are never satisfied
I just have a low tolerance for your shenanigans, there are any number of posters here that are your age that post in a mature, constructive and positive manner. All I ever see associated with your username are threads being dragged up from pages back for no good reason and single line, half expressed thoughts with no explanation or expansion.
Tell the truth, you're on a crusade to just get your post count high aren't you?
I just have a low tolerance for your shenanigans, there are any number of posters here that are your age that post in a mature, constructive and positive manner. All I ever see associated with your username are threads being dragged up from pages back for no good reason and single line, half expressed thoughts with no explanation or expansion.
Tell the truth, you're on a crusade to just get your post count high aren't you?
Az, I've been tilting at that particular windmill for a long time. You're wasting your time mate.
I figure, but I feel better for saying it, rather than not saying it, and if his behaviour irritates a sufficient number of us, then we can petition the Mods for some sort of sanction.
Replying back with "Fixed that for you" while changing another member's quote is considered inflammatory and should be discontinued. This is a general warning--next "Fixed that for you" while changing another member's quote will be taking a break from the thread and/or Dakka.
AgeOfEgos wrote: Replying back with "Fixed that for you" while changing another member's quote is considered inflammatory and should be discontinued. This is a general warning--next "Fixed that for you" while changing another member's quote will be taking a break from the thread and/or Dakka.
Medium of Death wrote: I wonder why GW hasn't had facebook take this page down? Is it protected under some kind of "parody" thing, or something?
Maybe it's got the same parody protection as Twitter has. If you state outright it's a parody account on Twitter, they cannot touch you. This is the reason things like @FillWerell, @WWECreative_Ish @DumbKellykelly and @CrankyVince for example continue to exist.
In honour of the release of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, we'll be taking full advantage of our Lord of The Rings license and be hosting a 'Paint a Space Marine' contest.
Yes, that doesn't make sense, but why should we start now?
In case you're wondering where the publicity and media frenzy was for Warhammer 40K during it's 25th Anniversary, we had loads of things planned, but our PR department was busy on an 18 month course learning how to juggle their own bollocks.
They're still not very good at it.
29th November:
We would like to remind customers that we still have copies of both the original HeroQuest game in stock. Sadly, all the cards are in Spanish, but what can you do?
1st December:
After a long and extensive search for the brightest new genre talent, and after reading through the submissions of countless talented writers, we can happily announce that the new weiters for our Black Library Warhammer and Warhammer 40K novels are:
Phil Kelly, Graeme Lyon, Mat Ward and Laurie Goulding.
Yes we know, we searched the world and it turned out they were right on our doorstep. Who would have thought it? We have a secret formula we apply to work out who will write the best novels for us; one day we'll let you into the secret.
18th December:
The ravening hordes come, day after day. We are tired and weary, and no matter how hard we try to repel, still they come, the unrelenting horde.
Of confused parents. Asking for 'little men' for Christmas. We're getting bored of re-directing them to Steve's Midget Emporium.
19th December:
Dear Confused Looking Shoppers,
We.Do.Not.Sell.Video.Games.
Nor do we sell Monopoly. Yes, we know it's confusing that they are games other than the latest FPS DeathFest and "that boring one with the money and the scotty dog" but there you go.
Yes, we sit round playing games all day; that's exactly right. And yes, if you ask us one more banal question, we are allowed to ground you down for paint.
20th December:
No Madam, we do not a sell an Aryan supremacy magazine for racist midgets. You may be thinking of a fantasy and sci-fi modelling magazine that we do sell.
22st December:
Apparently a recent post really upset @LaurieGoulding We would like to apologise. Sadly, our window for apologies is now closed, so we can't
24th December:
Top Tip for Parents this Christmas:
Screw it, buy them a big box of Space Marines. You can't go wrong with Space Marines.
27th December
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
No.
As a special post-Christmas offer, you may exchange the gift your loved ones carefully bought for you for something you might actually want.
We will still stare at you in a slightly disapproving way though; all part of the service.
6th January:
Another day spent peddling plastic crap to rich idiots.
I mean selling high quality collectible plastic crap to a dedicated audience who are both money and time rich.
7th January:
The official Twitter Feed, @Voxcaster has been down for since February.We didn't forget the password though - we just didn't feed the intern
9th January:
So then, a small confession. We misunderstood the communication from Head Office regarding the cancellation of White Dwarf.
There's no way GW could legally shut down this page. They aren't selling anything, and their use of GW terminology is obviously done for the jokes and criticism.
I've said it before in the thread, but parody accounts (if they are marked as such) are protected on Twitter. I don't see why the same should not be true on FB.
It is with a heavy heart that we have to announce that due to the massive dip in recent profits and our rapidly plummeting share price that CEO Tom Kirby has had to deal with the problem directly.
We aren't sure why sending the boss to our sister branch, Games Workshop Summerisle during the Wicker Man Festival will help with the current crisis, but we are assured that it will.
I was actually saying GW is mean and spiteful. This fictitious store site is hilarious.
Keep in mind in GW's legal terms they say nobody is even allowed to get a tattoo with their IP (seriously I'd love to see how they enforce that. Rip it from peoples flesh?) and if you use their IP in a forum/chat avatar you better give them credit (OR ELSE). I'm not making it up, this is 100% true. How this site still exists is impressive.
Ah my mistake then, misinterpreted you. In fairness i'm equally surprised this thread hasn't attracted more "don't be mean to gw your just jealous" types.
Still that sounds a little sever. Slightly tempted to tattoo an aquila to myself and show them mind but.
No madam, 40,000 is the year that this game is set in. Not how much it costs. Though you may have a point.
4th February:
Due to a poorly worded letter from head officer and a very keen key timer, the store now has no metal in at all.
We get new shelves on Thursday. Please be careful when entering the store, as the door has no handle. Or hinges.
10th February:
We are an entirely fictional, nostalgia fuelled store that looks at Games Workshop's output with rose-tinted glasses.
And even we think that Zoats were a bit crap.
14th February:
Dear Customer,
Feel free to loudly and proudly explain what non-GW products are available on the market when we claim to have heard of ManticHordes or Mauli-Infinity or whatever.
Us claiming to have never have heard of them is not some short-sighted sales tactic to allow us to point out our own superior market position. We genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. We also have our names sewn into the back of our uniforms and occasionally forget that it isn't the nineties any more.
17th February:
We do not stock Forge World products in store and that goes double for the Horus Heresy Character Series.
Except for Alpharius. We have boxes and boxes of Alpharius models and they're even in plastic.
GW Fulchester wrote:Pre-orders for the Warhammer 40K eighth edition rule book are now available. We have no firm date as yet; we should have a better idea six weeks after the seventh edition comes out.
Remember we only get 12 editions before it runs out of regenerations.
GW Fulchester wrote:Pre-orders for the Warhammer 40K eighth edition rule book are now available. We have no firm date as yet; we should have a better idea six weeks after the seventh edition comes out.
Remember we only get 12 editions before it runs out of regenerations.
One of the comments was hillarious "Does the digital edition come in hardcover"
GW Fulchester wrote:Pre-orders for the Warhammer 40K eighth edition rule book are now available. We have no firm date as yet; we should have a better idea six weeks after the seventh edition comes out.
Remember we only get 12 editions before it runs out of regenerations.
Coming soon: A twenty novel long mini-series explaining why the wheat on Barbarus was so tough.
Some of the comments on there are quite amusing
Poster: According to GWs new trade policy online stores are bad for retail. Are you worried GW Fulchester will be shut down by GW online?
Games Workshop: Fulchester We aren't an online store, come to Fulchester and see. We are every bit as real as the threat to GW from online bits suppliers.
GW Fulchester wrote:Please note that Daily Mail readers will not be allowed to play Necromunda in our store.
This is because Daily Mail Readers can not count to 6.
And previously
GW Fulchester wrote:Our new 'Golden Demon Themed' paint sets come with the heady smell of nostalgia. Be aware that similarities between 'nostalgia' and 'solvents' are entirely coincidental.
GW Fulchester wrote:Pre-orders for the Warhammer 40K eighth edition rule book are now available.
We have no firm date as yet; we should have a better idea six weeks after the seventh edition comes out.
Remember we only get 12 editions before it runs out of regenerations.
Finally, the hordes of chaos have come for us. By which we mean GWHQ's legal team.
We've tried barricading the doors, but our barricades are small and made of plastic. We attempted to black out the windows but we only had one pot of chaos black left in stock.
For our own sanity, we're going to have to close our doors, probably for good. Stay safe and remember to laugh.
Finally, the hordes of chaos have come for us. By which we mean GWHQ's legal team.
We've tried barricading the doors, but our barricades are small and made of plastic. We attempted to black out the windows but we only had one pot of chaos black left in stock.
For our own sanity, we're going to have to close our doors, probably for good. Stay safe and remember to laugh.
Its quite clearly satire. isn't satire protected under fair use etc?
I have the feeling that the whole satire fair use thing might be one of those things that is, "Law really useful and taken up and embraced by American companies but actually doesn't exist in UK law."
Finally, the hordes of chaos have come for us. By which we mean GWHQ's legal team.
We've tried barricading the doors, but our barricades are small and made of plastic. We attempted to black out the windows but we only had one pot of chaos black left in stock.
For our own sanity, we're going to have to close our doors, probably for good. Stay safe and remember to laugh.
Its quite clearly satire. isn't satire protected under fair use etc?
From my understanding this does fall under "Fair Use", the page might want to make it more clear though that it is satire. This is a case though of how much legal effort do you want to put in? I would at the very least make GW make Facebook take it down, they don't have to respond to whatever GW sent to them.
I like to imagine how Fulchester was discovered...
GW Intern: Sir, I have the list of all stores that have Facebook pages
GW Manager: Excellent, we can inform them that they too need to get rid of their pages. All this website hullabaloo, hurumph!
GW Intern: Very good, sir. I noticed a discrepancy in a store in some place called Fulchester, I thin---
GW Manager: By GOD, look how many people are using this website! Johnny, get the manager of Fulchester on the phone immediately so I can fire him right now!
Finally, the hordes of chaos have come for us. By which we mean GWHQ's legal team.
We've tried barricading the doors, but our barricades are small and made of plastic. We attempted to black out the windows but we only had one pot of chaos black left in stock.
For our own sanity, we're going to have to close our doors, probably for good. Stay safe and remember to laugh.
Its quite clearly satire. isn't satire protected under fair use etc?
From my understanding this does fall under "Fair Use", the page might want to make it more clear though that it is satire. This is a case though of how much legal effort do you want to put in? I would at the very least make GW make Facebook take it down, they don't have to respond to whatever GW sent to them.
However, as one of my mates comments is: "About time, I have never read so much profanity in all my life! This FB page should have been closed a long time ago!"
It really does make me thhink that GW are going to continue acting the way they are for many years to come.
Oh man...this is a sad day...a sad, sad day. My heart bleeds.
GW Fulchester did virtually no ill to GW. Good-natured, clean, creative, ribbing never hurt anyone. Fulchester uplifted the GW brand. This is daft...as daft as being upset that Weird Al Yankovic has parodied your music.
However, as one of my mates comments is: "About time, I have never read so much profanity in all my life! This FB page should have been closed a long time ago!"
He doesn't get out much does he.
I'm only surprised that this took so long, after all it is probably the most popular GW facebook page now
However, as one of my mates comments is: "About time, I have never read so much profanity in all my life! This FB page should have been closed a long time ago!"
He doesn't get out much does he.
I'm only surprised that this took so long, after all it is probably the most popular GW facebook page now
(assuming of course it really is a C&D from GW legal that's killing it, although It does seem the sort of nonsense they get up to)
As I already said, parody accounts are not allowed of Facebook so they were on Borrowed time from the outset. Even if GW have not done anything here they're still in breach of Facebook's terms of use.
Still doesn't stop it from being a stupid move though as they're doing no harm. I say retreat to twitter and stick alongside accounts like Fill Werrell and WWEcreative_ish knowing you're safe.
Are they entitled to do it legally? From what I have read above, absolutely.
Is it the right thing to do? Absolutely not. Seriously, they are inserted so far up their own rectums that they must almost be coming out the other side.
I wonder what the straw was that broke the camel's back?
Compel wrote: They were already on twitter as @GWFulchester
However, as one of my mates comments is: "About time, I have never read so much profanity in all my life! This FB page should have been closed a long time ago!"
Have to ask him what it's like back there in 1967?
I wonder what the straw was that broke the camel's back?
Almost certainly the reference to the Daily Mail and Necromunda, which could lead to Timmy's mum putting 2 and 2 together and getting 'Games Workshop Games Make You Murder'.
We shall sing a lament for our lost satire source.
Never more shall the sounds of laughter ring out from the web,
nevermore shall FB be a recluse for us whom dare mock the tyrants.
Now all is ash and barren,
And GW's rules role un-challenged,
None to rise and stand,
To point and mock and laugh,
As the Legal teams circle the carrion,
Wherein the ruins,
Of GW Fulchester lay.
s and entirely with FaceBook not being 
