So you all know how this works.
Basically add a sentence to the story. If there's a thread Like this already sorry.
I'll start us off
He ran, he didn't know why he just did.

Suddenly, he stopped.

It was a dead end!

Scanning the ally for a bolt hole or any means of escape, he found none.

Turning around, he saw the tanks approaching through the smoke.

Praising the freerunning he had practised in his youth with his mates, he scaled the three story wall and made it to the roof of the building.

resting lightly for a second he span around and...

Ran straight into the the worst possible obstacle, a fully grown...

Ogryn which promptly raised it's...

foot to his face and booted him off the roof.

He fell and landed on a another roof.

Tumbling down it's tiled surface before he grabbed at the guttering, arresting his fall.

He started thinking about how he'd got into this predicament.

A crack of metal from the gutter put paid to the thought.

He dropped to the ground directly in the path of a huge tank.

Luckily retaining a sticky bomb from the fall he quickly applied it to the hunk of metal looming to his front before rolling clear to watch it blow. ;p

Relieved, he took a stroll to the pub to have a pint with his mates.

As he walked into he pub he heard a scream.

The back of the pub was gone, another huge tank was plowing through the building, flattening everything.

He briefly wondered whether buying the tank a drink would be seen as 'forward'...

A little peeved that he wouldn't be enjoying a drink in his favourite pub, he grabbed the nearly full bottle of CC and a pack of b&h before bolting out the front.

Outside, the air was rife with the sounds of gunfire.

IG troops swarmed around the area.

Lit by the hellish red flames of burning buildings, he watched the Guard battling it out with a horde of cultists.

A mighty baneblade roared into action.

But was swarmed by cultists the moment it smashed out of its cover.

Retreating to the top of the wooded knoll he used to frequent as a boy, he pulled out his whiskey and smokes to survey the situation.

It wasn't good.

sucking it up, He make a run for the nearby hanger where some old beat up interceptors where housed.

His legs were sore and his heart was beating hard as he ran.

He tripped but managed to drag himself back up to his feet.

And passed through the shredded doors into the hanger where....

A clone of himself stared at himself looking at himself.

At first he thought it was a mirror.

Realization kicked seconds later that they where a gaggle of xenos which had taken his form and why he had been chased through the city.

There was no time to reflect on the situation.

One of the xenos offered him something

...but he knew better than to fall for that old trick.

Almost instinctively he took out his .45 and gave the face of the xenos an offer it couldn't refuse.

Three muzzle flashes later the deed was done.

The three soldiers who'd run into the building after the xeno were perforated, then he grabbed the xeno's hand and began to run again.

Running full pelt across the open courtyard, he realised he was still holding the dead xeno's dismembered hand and threw it to the ground in disgust.

He came to a stop in front of the armoury, maybe he could find a...

He lit a smoke and went inside to find more whiskey.

Inside he found alot of dakka, and took his fill of weapons and equipment before he left tying a bandana to his brow.

Now he was ready.

To kill them all!!

Molding from one shadow to the next, he stalked the city for vengence.

He soon found a suitable target on which he could vent his anger

A harmless cute little baby ducky splashed in a puddle, what a vile Xenos trick.

Ignoring the distraction, he panned his weapon from cover to cover hunting for the ambush to come.

An alarm sounded and the ducks eye's began to glow red, then the duck then opened its bill wide and fired a knockout dart straight into the centre of his forehead.

The last thing he heard before the blackness took him was the ducks quaking laughter.

His eyes blinked open.

His eyes hurt from the brightness of the lights, or the room, he couldn't tell.

There was a medic looking over him.

There was a smile on his face, but it never reached his brown eyes.

The medic had a needle in his hand.

The painboy grinned and said:"Welcome to gutswappas serjury klinik"!
(all roads lead to orkz.All of dem)

He began to sweat bullets from his brow at the size of the needle meant for the Boyz, and scanned the nearby trays for a weapon to fend off the green fiend.

But before he react the grinning ork plunged the needle into his leg

Knocking him out...

He awoke again to the sight of an Ork standing over him as the cool air of dawn chilled his bones.

The ork had a slim grin on his face.

A particularly ugly and scantily lady ork walked up with an even bigger smile on her face.

(*cough* There are no ork women.)

Gesturing with his tree trunk arm in the direction of the forest, the Ork told him to run as he held the hungry squiggs at bay.

He did as he was told, he will soon regret it.

The lady ork shook her pom poms as he ran away.

With the laughter of the Ork still ringing in his ears the fox of the hunt ran through the twisting forest as the squiggs disturbed the brush close behind.

He suddenly fell down a dark hole.

When he woke he heard a squig growling..

Flat on his face, he reached for the fallen branch close to hand and flipped over on his side to bat the flying squigg out of the air, intent on gobbling his face.

Was this the end for him?

The squig bit his nose clean off.

Howling in pain he watched the squigg munch his nose before the rage took hold and he flung the creature from his chest to bash its brains out with the branch, decorating it in tofu green.

He scrambled up and yield for help.

He scrambled up and yeld for help.

But the woods were as silent as the grave, only the chittering and moving brush from the dead squiggs companions could be heard drawing near.

But all of a sudden there was a blast of hot air from above and the trees creaked and swayed from the scalding wind out of nowhere!

He had had enough and cried out to the heavens "Tzeentch SAVE ME!"

He realised he could hear music, turning back, he crept nearer to the sounds and he glimpsed the female ork singing something about ' milkshake bringing boyz to the yard'...

Behind her several several Goff rockers were playing their guitars.

Then he realized they were noise marines rockin the set, and decided to stay and listen to them jam ad the pom pom ork spelt out....

With an almighty bang one of the guitars exploded.

He lit a smoke.

Suddenly a flying squig came and bit his ear off.

But he found he began to enjoy the pain as the blood seemed to flow to the music.

He lay back peacefully as the squig bit the remains of his ear.

.

Then it bit off his other ear.

Suddenly the squig fell dead!

The rot of Nurgle had claimed it's next victim.

He looked about for something to use as a weapon.

Suddenly gutswappa(The painboy)jumped out of the trees.

Without thinking, he grabbed a giant branch and attempted to swing it at the greenskin.

The greenskin just laughed.

Its stabbed him with a needle AGAIN.

His eyes blinked tree times before he fell into a dark sleep.

He awoke warm in his bed, unharmed, and looked beside him.

Standing there was his mother who died 5 years ago.

She gripped his neck and began to strangle him.

He punched her in the belly.

Suddenly he woke up with gutswappa standing over him.

He yelled as loud as he could.

This startled the ork, and grabbing a nearby syringe, he jammed it into the ork's eye and pushed the plunger.

(Don't forget that unknown character can't hear or smell.Reminding you guys.Because I'm ripping him apart piece by piece.)Gutswappa screamed and reached for his backscratcher/toothpick/blender/choppa/scalpel/(see 1d4chans choppa article)

But before the painboy could reach his weapon(?) the needle was jammed through his other eye.

Then as the noxious cocktail worked its way to the Ork's tiny mind, it hit the floor with a thud.

An imperial gaurd medic came rushing over him.

And blew it's head off with a shotgun, just to be sure.

The medic preformed plastic surgery on the man.

Suddenly he woke up again, the lady ork was shaking her pom poms.

The medic shot the horrible, ugly ork.

She was invincible,the shot bouncing off her pom poms into his face.

Meanwhile our hero grabbed the dead orc's shoota and blasted the ghastly cheerleader to smithereens.

(Thank you for killing the female ork)
Discarding the primitive ork weapon, he hurried towards the injured medic only to see he had been possessed by a horrific entity.

Tentacles and scales bristled out all over the medic's body as it writhed on the floor.

The medic began to shake and roll around.

blood...Blood...BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!He screamed suddenly.(Why did you guys kill the female ork and gutswappa?Why)

He continued chanting and dancing around in circles around the bloody bodies.

Our hero jumped up and shot rapidly!

The startled medic looked at him:"DID YOU THINK MY FEEL NO PAIN WOULD FAIL ME"?!

Just then, the lights went out.

When they came back on the room was filled with Tau chicks.

And omnius chanting of: "Ere we go,Ere we go"...Began outside.

The medic, not accustomed to such situations, began to chant along.

WAAAAAAGH!Gorgutz burst through the walls of the tent killing all the tau.

Our hero (HOOLY) grabbed his gun, shaking with fear..

Or he would have had it not been stolen by a kommando when he was looking at WAAAAAAGH!Gorgutz.

Then the ork cheerleader and Doc slowly arose from the floor, their features twisted in ghastly undeath.

Hurriedly, our hero speaks into the vox bead he had hidden from the orks.

Feeling a little wiped he grabbed an espresso from the machine at the side of the room and took the time to enjoy a smoke with it.

Feeling refreshed, he bolted through the emergency exit door which he hadn't noticed before.

He ran, his heart was pumping and his breath was heavy.

Once again Gutswappa stabbed him with a needle.

But the needle passed his vital orgins and Hooley kept running.

A looted leman Russ shot its boomgun at him...

But it hit a building instead killing a hundred orks.

Suddenly there was a deafening noise as a drop pod landed in front of him.

The entirety of WAAAAAAGH!Gorgutz blew it apart.

Suddenly with an almighty roar 200 gaurds men and a company of baneblades came..

Sadly they were unprepared for the Mega gargant that Gorgutz had Taktikul jeniused behind hooly.

However the Orks were no more prepared for the Tau girls' boyfriend attacking with their manta.

Prepared didn't matter when It was caught in a lifta droppa and pulled apart piece by piece by stormlootas.(There is a full WAAAAAAAAGH!Here guys.It'll take a LOT more den dat humies.)

Fine. Suddenly the orks all dropped dead as an almitey chaos entity drained their life to fuel his power.

(WOT DA ZOG.)This would have worked had the chaos entity not been beaten up by Gork and Mork and forced to bring them back to life.

Then things got really nasty.

Gork and Mork decided they that the orks in this galaxy weren't krumpin' enough stuff and moved to different one, leaving the orks to the mercy of our hero.

At which point, he decided to make himself scarce.

He blended in, moved in the shadows, made himself dim, and with any luck at all he has the grail already.

Two new ork gods arrived called pork and Bork.

But there was a massive bang and all the orks died!

And the new gods were attacked by two more gods called Dork and Spork!

He then took out the whiskey he grabbed from the arms depot a while back, took a swig, and lit a smoke while he watched the fight.

"Can I borrow a light?" said a voice behind him...he turned and came face to face with the zombie cheerleader ork

Gorgutz and a horde of grotz and snotlings were behind IT.(Gorgutz lives because he's the best thing ever and grotz and snotz aren't orks are they?)

HOOLY grabbed his gun and shot the cheerleader.

Her feel no pain did not fail her.

But the bullet hit the snotlings.

Behind him a deep voice said
"You are relieved guardsman"

The space marine was killed by a falling fighta bomma who's pilot had been killed by the BANG!

But the space marine got up and said
"You thought my invulnerable save would fail me?"

yes.Said gorgutz as he crushed the marines skull.

Another 50 space marines came and began too shoot..

ALL the orks died.
(No exceptions they're all dead now)

(thank you)
HOOLY ran with the space marines far away..

They were chased by a horde of grotz,Snotlings and squigs as none of those are orkz.

The space marines shot at them, Hooley voxed for back up.

Several space marines stayed behind to buy time and were ripped to shreds by knife,toof and claw.

The back up came, a company of baneblades!

However Gork and Mork came back,Brought the orks back to life and sent them the long way around the planet.(In a few pages youz all ded.D E D.Ded)

But when the orks found the marines and Hooley they were already teleporting back to the marine's battle barge.

The orks, out of breath gave up running and began to shoot.

When they reached the battle barge they discovered it was full of CHAOS space marines.

So they went to the one beside it, wich had no chaos.

But this one didn't exist because that's not how space marines work.

Except it did exist, and that was, the Orks felt, the strangest thing they had ever come across; a spaceship that existed and, at the same time, did not.

But it was full of daemons.

They were leaving too as they also were confused as to which barge to board.

But the ship they had seen that was full of chaos space marine was suddenly empty except for a dataslate that said
"The Alpha Legion did it!"

Then it exploded killing everyone but hooley and the orks,grotz,squigs and snotz.

But unfortunately (for the orks) they fell into an endless hole and hooly went home for a pint.

But he was mugged by grotz,snotz and squigs.

The poor grots got their squigs so exited that the squigs ate them. (It happens!)

In the bottomless hole the orks had decided to grab onto the holes sides after ten seconds and climb/Drive up.

Hooly was on a baneblade driving into battle against other orks.

Hooly pulled out his new hellgun and opened the top hatch of the baneblade.

Gorgutz sent a team of kommandos into the Behnblade,killed the crew and were now driving it.

Hooly looked down into the baneblade and, seeing the orks, jumped out and planted a meltabomb on the tank.

The bomb worked perfectly, melting the orks and tank together into molten goo.

He broke his legs jumping out and didn't have a meltabomb so this plan failed amazingly.

(But that contradicts what snurl wrote!)
After he melted the baneblade he fired his hellgun at some passing orks.

They were quickly cut down.

Hooly made a mad scramble to a nearby building.

But his legs were broken so he was extremely slow.

Tired from the fierce fight, he found a quiet corner in the building to enjoy a smoke and think about what to do next.

Suddenly the ork zombie cheerleader was shaking her pom poms.

Hooly shot with one last boost of energy but nothing happend

Hooly shot with one last boost of energy but nothing happend.

Hooley realised he was in a looping nightmare and ignored it, the orc cheerleader was long dead and gone.

He woke up in a tent with a grinning ork above him.

He quickly grabbed the orcs head and twisted its neck until it popped.

Well he tried to but it didn't work.

But it did work eventually, turns out the brute was too stupid to realise it was dead.

He threw the orks head and ran, but he ran into some nurgles.

He became a plaguebearer.(Well unless you want to tell a story about a zombie:New story!)

NEW STORY
Gun fire echoed around the narrow streets.

Warlord gorgutz had killed humies until it was agreed that he be the main character of story 2.

He was granted that.

So anyway he walked down the street killing humies.

"Iz us wining boss? Asked a small chubby ork.

Da big boss backhanded da ork across da street for looking at 'im.

The Ork with no name stood back up and opened fire at the concieted warboss.

But he fired back killing the little ork.

(Dats WarLORD to you humie)The slugga rounds bounced off his Mega armour into a nearby Avatar of khaine.(never mind ninja,d)

The WarLord slipped on a bananna peel and fell flat on his face.

While he was down, a stikkbomb tumbled over next to his head

But he got up and with a might roar of "WAAAAAGH!" he killed everything and everyone with dakka!

Then his spurs got caught together and he stumbled, and his gun belt slid down around his knees, causing him to fall flat on his face again.

This mad him angry so he killed a plaguebearer that was once known as hooley.

Not seeing anything that could be killed he started running down the street yelling.

The other orks were rolling on the ground laughing at all this.

He yelled "you boyz is to healthy, I'm leaving".

But not watching where he was going while yelling ran him straight into a lamp-post, causing him to fall again and lose a few teef, this launched another round of hysterical laughter from da boyz.

So he killed the boyz.

Or tried to, as he spun around to shoot the clip fell out of his DAKKA and the bullets rolled all over the place, causing him to fall on his butt when he stepped on one.

So he ran away yelling "Me iz going to kill you boyz with dakka some day".

Then he went back and smashed them with his power klaw.

Or tried to but he'd forgotton to put it on today so he was just running up to da boyz saying "snip snip!"

Suddenly he was the biggest ork ever!

All this laughter was beginning to draw a mob, as da boyz were rolling on the ground laughing uncontrollably at the big orks antics.

Roaring in anger, he pulled a bomb squig out of his pocket.
(Make it blow up pleeeease)

True to form, all he pulled was the pin, and after a silent moment of realisation, KA-BOOM.

All the orks he didn't like died and he ran away laughing.

Suddenly he was smashed across the street by a giant [CENSORED BY INQUISITION]

So he ran the other way screaming DAKKA DAKKA!

And stepped into an open sewer access manhole, falling in with a loud ker-splash as he hit the gooey bottom.

He continued to run till he found a string ladder looming up to the ground.

He tried to climb up, but it was covered with grease, or something.

He found his power klaw, his big shoota of no problems like bullets falling out and his Mega armour that worked perfectly.

Quickly he donned his armour and lifted his weapons threateningly

He became aware that putting his armor on while soaked in sewage was probably not the best idea, as fluids from his power claw drained down his arm & into his armpits.

Suddenly he heard Gork and mork talking to him!

"U Iz going to be da best warboss ever!" began gork "u Iz da chosen one!".

And mork yelled...

" But you Iz going to have to work, den you will be da leader of all orks and maybe someday da humies!"

"Now den Iz going to telly-port you to where doz gitz dat were laughin at ya are and youz going ta stomp dem good!"

When he arrived he whipped them good.

Laughing at their weaknes, he asked his gods what to do next

Then, he woke up.

He was in a dark room that smelt damp and must with a trail of sunlight showing the dust.

But not for long, as a huge wave of sewage came barreling twoards him.

Some lions were surfing on the sewage.

He found an old door hidden in the gloom...

The door had a stick figure of a lady on it with the words "Employee Use Only" printed below.

He broke in with his power klaw to find the dancing zombie ork lady waving her pom poms.

The door swings back hitting him in the head, and putting him in a coma.

Or it would have had his Mega armour blocked the blow.

The giant wave of raw sewage swept him from the doorway and pummeled him mercilessly as he tumbled down, down, down, into the deepest and murkiest caves of the sewer.

When the tide of sewage slowed, he wearily got to his feet but tripped on a skull.

"Stoopid corn boyz leaving skullz everywere always mukkin about"...He grumbled.

Then he realised he had kicked his own skull, as the acid in the sewage torrent ha reduced him to an orky skeleton.

"OH FOR" he yelled as he looked down at his now flesh free body.

Thinking quickly, he invented and used a 're-flesher' to give himself a new body again. Made out of biscuits.

Then tea was spilt on him and that made him angry!

Then the lions, who had been surfing behind him, attacked.

The lions walked under the tea trap and they were burnet.

But the singed lions pressed on their attack

Suddenly Ghazghkull mag uruk thraka appeared and saved Gorgutz!

Then, feeling hungry after the fight, he noticed the warlord was made of biscuits and ate him for lunch.

It slightly annoyed Gork and Mork that their prophet had been eaten so they punished Gorgutz.

He was sent to a weird plantet full of sand and blaring sun. (he has his body back)

Suddenly a brown robed short thing with yellow eyes ran out of a huge tracked vehicle.

With no sunblock or shade or water, It was as if the gods wanted him to fail in his quest to stack all of the grains of sand on top of one another.

Roughly four minutes later, having stacked every grain on sand one on top of another, he thought he'd have a light snack and munched the brown robed short thing with yellow eyes down like a dry twix.

After his snack, he went to check out the big tracked vehicle to find something to wash it down.

He drank the contents of a barrel labeled 10-W30, but somehow it didn't go down too well.

Looking into the barrel, Gorgutz saw demonic slime that appeared to be sentient.

So he decided to eat the slime too.

The slime didnt taste right and he spat it out.

Suddenly he heard a Jawa(also known as brown robed things with yellow eyes)

Seeing he was distracted, the slime leapt up and attached itself to Gorgutz's face.

Gorgutz killed it with his power klaw.

Or he would have, except the Jawa had removed all of the copper wire while Gorgutz wasn't looking, and was off to sell it at the recycling center.

Gorgutz began to wonder how he knew they were called Jawa's...breifly before grabbing the jawa with the copper wire and headbutting it into a fine paste.

Suddenly the jawas were everywhere!

Ahhhhhh.. 200 orks landed on him!

As GoreGutz plummeted into the Saralak pit, he realised that Jawas could be formidable in large numbers.

And that there was no e in Gorgutz.

Gorgutz decided to finally do something and threw some stikbombs into the sarlak's open mouth.

The bombs hit bottom at the same time as Gorgutz, he had just enough time to hold up a little sign that said "OOPS" before he was blown to smithereens.

The orks collect the ashes to bring to the medic to see what he can do.

The doc lays the ashes on the table, but the ceiling fan blows them away before he can do anything, desert heat you know.

Strangely the ashes gatherd to hether and formed mork.

Strangely the ashes gatherd to hether and formed mork.

"Right you miserable lot!" yelled the image of Mork "You got some work to do!"

Then a sandy effigy of Gork arrived and looked around.

"Excuse me young man, could you possibly tell me the way to the library?" said the sand creature who looked like Gork.

"Um,iz you gork?" asked a now very puzzled ork.

'I'm sorry, I seem to be having trouble understanding your use of current vernacular and colloquialisms, I do so hate being an innaccurate representation of a metaphysical being' said the sand effigy

"Oi den you not gork! Kill him dakka!!!!". Yelled another broad ork now pointing his pointing stick and this awfully scared man.