There once was this Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White Bike, and being the hero-type person that he was, he wanted to marry the commander's daughter. So he went up to the palace, and the guard naturally inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied: "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III".
On the Black and White Space Marine's way out, the guard once again asked, "Who goes there"?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".
On his way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later. On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, if you complete three tasks you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" the commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace."
On the Black and White Space Marine's way out the guard once again asked, "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard inquired "Who goes there?"
To which the Black and White Space Marine replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike."
"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.
"Who goes there?" asked the commander.
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike and I want to marry your daughter" replied the Black and White Space Marine.
"Not the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike?"
"Yes, the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White Bike. May I marry your daughter now?"
"OK."Author: Aaron Tunney, Wanted by Inquisition for Questioning.
I wonder if anyone's ever appropriated Chapayev jokes for the Guard? They seem in-character.
Guardsman: "Sir! Enemy tanks are advancing on our position, we'll be overrun!"
Sergeant: "Don't panic, soldier, go to the armoury and distribute the grenades."
*some time later, after the battle*
Guardsman: "Whew! We've finally beaten them back!"
Sergeant. "Good. Now go put the grenades back in the armoury."
That doesn't count. Even Romeo and Juliet had a better love story and didn't had any love story. They met three days before they kill themselves and were loosely responsible for the death of six other persons.
I tried to make a picture for the following, but failed.
Two Orks standing in front of a Warboss behind a desk.
Warboss: "Correct, there is no obligation. Unless, of course, Waagh! were declared."
[Orks start screaming Waagh!]
Ork A: "What's that?"
Warboss: "Waagh! were declared."
Brilliant picture, I just have a couple of questions and thoughts.
Why is Guilliman punching Alpharius and why is there only 1 Alpharius? Shouldn't there either be loads of them, maybe each hiding in a different cupboard/shadow, or at least 2 of them to represent both Alpharius and Omegon?
BobNT wrote: Why is Guilliman punching Alpharius and why is there only 1 Alpharius?
Gulliman said to Alpharius that his Legion will never reach the same honour that the Ultramarines have (despite the Ultras, you know, having a 200 years headstart) so he's just being a jerk. As for the other issue, hardly anyone knew about Alpharius and Omegron being twins and they hardly, if ever, appeared together.
Happyjew wrote: I tried to make a picture for the following, but failed.
Two Orks standing in front of a Warboss behind a desk.
Warboss: "Correct, there is no obligation. Unless, of course, Waagh! were declared."
[Orks start screaming Waagh!]
Ork A: "What's that?"
Warboss: "Waagh! were declared."
DO NOT SWEAR. This counts pictures. There is far too much editing I now have to do deleting some of your pictures. Next person to swear via a picture in this thread, in flagrant violation of the rules, cops a warning. Use your damn heads.
motyak wrote: DO NOT SWEAR. This counts pictures. There is far too much editing I now have to do deleting some of your pictures. Next person to swear via a picture in this thread, in flagrant violation of the rules, cops a warning. Use your damn heads.
My mother always tried to convice me that, but I don't see how Damn is offensive to anyone other than those who want to be easily offended.
/dam/
verb
past participle: damned
1. (in Christian belief) be condemned by God to suffer eternal punishment in hell.
"be forever damned with Lucifer"
• be doomed to misfortune or failure.
verb: damn; 3rd person present: damns; past tense: damned; gerund or present participle: damning
"the enterprise was damned"
2.condemn, especially by the public expression of disapproval.
"intellectuals whom he damns as rigid doctrinaire idealists"
synonyms:
condemn, censure, criticize, attack, denounce, revile; More
find fault with, deprecate, disparage;
informalslam, lay into, blast
"we are not going to damn the new product before we try it"
antonyms:
acclaim, praise
•curse (someone or something).
"she cleared her throat, damning it for its huskiness"
synonyms:
Curse, put the evil eye on, anathematize, hex, jinx
"they were all damning him"
antonyms:
bless
exclamation
informal
exclamation: damn
1.expressing anger, surprise, or frustration.
"Damn! I completely forgot!"
synonyms:
darn, damn it, dammit, drat, shoot, blast, doggone (it), goddammit, hell, rats
"Damn! I forgot the keys"
adjective
informal
adjective: damn
1.used for emphasis, especially to express anger or frustration.
"turn that damn thing off!"
adamsouza wrote: My mother always tried to convice me that, but I don't see how Damn is offensive to anyone other than those who want to be easily offended.
/dam/
verb
past participle: damned
1. (in Christian belief) be condemned by God to suffer eternal punishment in hell.
"be forever damned with Lucifer"
• be doomed to misfortune or failure.
verb: damn; 3rd person present: damns; past tense: damned; gerund or present participle: damning
"the enterprise was damned"
2.condemn, especially by the public expression of disapproval.
"intellectuals whom he damns as rigid doctrinaire idealists"
synonyms:
condemn, censure, criticize, attack, denounce, revile; More
find fault with, deprecate, disparage;
informalslam, lay into, blast
"we are not going to damn the new product before we try it"
antonyms:
acclaim, praise
•curse (someone or something).
"she cleared her throat, damning it for its huskiness"
synonyms:
Curse, put the evil eye on, anathematize, hex, jinx
"they were all damning him"
antonyms:
bless
exclamation
informal
exclamation: damn
1.expressing anger, surprise, or frustration.
"Damn! I completely forgot!"
synonyms:
darn, damn it, dammit, drat, shoot, blast, doggone (it), goddammit, hell, rats
"Damn! I forgot the keys"
adjective
informal
adjective: damn
1.used for emphasis, especially to express anger or frustration.
"turn that damn thing off!"
So damning something (usually to hell) isn't a curse? Huh.
Slaanesh-Devotee wrote: Seeing what words people get worked up over is always hilarious to me. Anyone got a link to where I can enjoy all these funny pictures at once?
The downside of that argument is that you could use it for any profanity.... F*** you is synonymous with D*** you.
No. No it isn't.
According to Merriam-Webster it is
Oh, and about dago, I do always find it hilarious (as I am a filthy dago). I mean, even the crappy wine my relatives make is "dago red", it's what "Italians are meant to drink".
This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
Spoiler:
Such a shame she has to be purged at Xenos scum can not be tolerated
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
Spoiler:
Such a shame she has to be purged at Xenos scum can not be tolerated
I so thought that was going to end differnetly, like with fire.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
Spoiler:
God dammit that ending killed me. I guess it's interesting when you look at things that way it's a universe at constant war.... All those little Elfy war orphans you shall be avenged!
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
dementedwombat wrote: This one is a pretty huge picture so I'll spoiler it. It's about the only thing I have yet encountered that has made an Eldar be a sympathetic character for me.
Spoiler:
Such a shame she has to be purged at Xenos scum can not be tolerated
I so thought that was going to end differnetly, like with fire.
![[Disk]](/dakkaforum/templates/default/images/icon_disk.gif){kind=icon}
