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I will either gain all I have ever wanted, or face the worst defeat/setback yet suffered in my 29 years.

Local Pub is having a Breast Cancer Charity night, and the Landlady has put me down to do Stand Up Comedy for it.

I have wanted to be a Stand Up Comedian for a long time now, but sadly real life and more realistic things kept getting in the way (never went to Uni, been working since I was 17). My friends are keen to see me kick it. The Bar Staff are keen to see me kick it. The other denziens of the Pub are keen to see me kick it. And yet I am balancing more or less equal measures of dread and anticipation.

I mean, this is it. Sink or swim time. Should worst come to worst, and I wind up being heckled, jeered and booed off stage, who knows how long it would take me to get my confidence back to give it another crack? If I come out on top, no matter how marginally, I'll be straight on the Internet looking to book myself onto the London Club Circuit Open Mic nights.

And if the success continues, then I will seriously be wanting an Agent or three to come down, see me perform, and hopefully get signed. I am desperate to become a Professional in this field. Whilst of course massive global success would be extremely welcome, I would be more than happy to just be able to eke out a modest living from my banter.

I don't I've stood at a metaphorical precipice quite like this before. Curse my habit of horribly overthinking things.

If things don't work out there is always Dakka.

Good luck!

Good luck man. Show that confidence.

Just remember, comedy is not about humor, it's about hatred. You have to hate the audience, but more important, you have to hate yourself. Give the audience your hatred and they will laugh because they fear you. Then you will have KILLED!!!

Oh I have spite to spare (Aha! Name of first DVD issued tour decided) and a reservoir of venom the like has never been seen.

Suffice to say I am deeply disappointed in life...

Well, you better tape this and share mate Thats the least you can do ... for DAKKA.

I agree, put it on YouTube or something so we can see it.

I'm sure some oik there will have recording facilities.

And who knows, a Youtube hit could seal my fate. Whereas a miss could bugger me sideways. Ah well, in for a penny in for a pound!

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary." - Behan, Brendan F.

Pshwah! There is bad Youtube footage though!

Don't see that fat Jedi Kid on Talksows or the like do you?

Is being Infamous really that bad?

If you bombed and threw up on stage, somebody, somewhere, on the intraweb will pick it up and next thing you know your getting a contract for an acid reflux product.

it's BRILLIANT!

Dude is there anything you can't do?

Keep a girl?

Settle on a 40k army?

NOT spend half my weeks takings in the pub?

Get into Angelina Jolie's knickers?

Free Running?

I think that's about it. And Number 4 might not be forever

Good luck sir, have you ever done anything like this before? I ask becuase I, myself have been thinking about trying this hat on.(i'm 31 and always been interested but never tried it)

Not a big deal, but congrats to MDG for breaking 5000 *party streamers*. Now go back to your pub.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Keep a girl?

Settle on a 40k army?

NOT spend half my weeks takings in the pub?

Get into Angelina Jolie's knickers?

Free Running?

I think that's about it. And Number 4 might not be forever

Give #4 sometime, i'm sure we'll all fit in that crazy bit....

Nope. Total stand up virgin.

Several people over the years have pressed me to do it, but always lacked the balls to just go and do it. This time, I have been thoroughly bullied, harrassed, cajoled and threatened!

Awesome, hope you have a blast. Just remember to take everything in stride and turn around any crowd outbursts against the heckler...don't do what Kramer did!

Be sure to post vids!

I'll heckle from home and toss tomatoes as far as I can (usually just down the stairs)...

I would be as drunk as possible.

I have a two to three pint limit pre-show.

Post show I shall drink whatever remains in the pub to settle my nerves.

If you fail its because you did it across the pond. I have never met a Scottish person who my friends and I didn't think was funny..


Automatically Appended Next Post:
And I should probably add there are a LOT of British X-pats here in Orange county. For some reason or another.

Well, been living in South East England for 18 years, so my Scots credentials will have taken a battering.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:Well, been living in South East England for 18 years, so my Scots credentials will have taken a battering.

Do you still spend your money cautiously and or complain incessantly about things you can change but choose not to?

No* and yes in that order.

I'm a very strange man.


*Looking at saving up some money to send my friends and their three nippers to Disneyland Paris as a treat. They've had a crappy arsed year, and I won't miss it.

Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:No* and yes in that order.

I'm a very strange man.


*Looking at saving up some money to send my friends and their three nippers to Disneyland Paris as a treat. They've had a crappy arsed year, and I won't miss it.

Hmm. Perhaps you have lost a bit of your Scottish edge.

Well the English are pretty entertaining too. Stand up I mean.

Best of luck to you MDG! For my money I would just take Fraz and make jokes about him all night. That would undoubtedly bring the house down. Just be sure to turn his hearing aid down so you can poke fun at him with impunity.

JEB_Stuart wrote:Best of luck to you MDG! For my money I would just take Fraz and make jokes about him all night. That would undoubtedly bring the house down. Just be sure to turn his hearing aid down so you can poke fun at him with impunity.

Speaking of...

I'm sure you'd have them rolling if you brought up how all us silly yanks sleep with an armory under our pillows.


or is it an... Armoury?

Right on the second attempt young man.

When will you learn that from a single defeat, you only get to pinch a handful of words as reparations. This is why English has so many French words. We made a habit of beating them up until Germany started.

If someone screams "YOU SUCK"
Its not an order, put yer lips away.(kidding)
so anyway
"YOU SUCK!"
You-" So doesn't yer mum, but i dont take coupons like that whore"