Celebrating 1415 posts by ranking Playable Races!

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**Slarg232**

So, I figured what with my 1415 posts (odd number I know) and the fact that I have rejoined the land of the employed (don't start until Monday at the earliest, still up in the air, and it's part time, but hey, I'll take what I can get), I have decided to give back to my favorite forum community by giving out a biased ranking of the races of Warhammer 40k. You may not want it to happen, you may not like it when it does, but Mods willing (or DoomFart willing, depending on how long it takes

) it is going to happen.

Notes: All Space Marine equivalents are considered as Space Marines, so as to limit this down to 12 ranks of good/bad.

Are you ready for this? I don't think your ready for this.

Be back with #12.

**Xca|iber**

Nice. These threads, while obviously not "chock full" of content, are always epically awesome. Looking forward to what is to come.

**Slarg232**

#12

For the Emperor!
---------------------------------

Coming in dead last is the Space Marines. I'm not going to say things like "Spehss Mahreens!" or mention "Metal Bawkses", as those just aren't the reason I destest the Space Marines. I don't even mind the fact that little kids usually are the ones who play Space Marines. The two things that fuel my hatred of the Emperors Finest are simple, really.

One of the reasons is that Space Marines get EVERYTHING everyone else has, and then some. More codices than anyone else? Check. Love in the most horrid, Cheesy ways? Check. The most showtime? Check. As all of us are aware, Space Marines are the spoiled rotten brats of Warhammer 40K. Every single version of them have some sort of rule that very nearly breaks the game. Want to split units for easier point captures? You can do that. Want a unit of Devastators that can destroy 3 tanks in one turn? Theres an army for that. Want Flamers and Melta's? You can get rules for that, too. Want an army of close combat, FNP monsters? Marines have you covered. Now, I know they are the "flagship race", and so deserve a little extra love, but Seriously!? SERIOUSLY!?

The other, more important reason, is that they are just one big giant Cliche, not that much of this game is based off of much more than that. Super Soldiers just don't interest me anymore, be they Spartan IIs or Replica Forces, Super Soldiers just need to go the way of the video game Ninja and mostly go away. Maybe it's because I'm a hardcore gamer, and so have had very, very heavy super soldier exposure, but super soldiers bore me like no other. I could forgive the fact that they get everything that everyone and their mothers get, and then some, if they weren't cliched super humans defending humanity, but they are their little cliche, and so I can't.

Maybe it's because I play Chaos Space Marines, and so naturally have to hate on Space Marines. Maybe it's because someone can make a custom chapter, carry around anywhere from two to four books, and have up to four armies with mostly the same models. Maybe it's because I hate popular things. But for whatever reason, I detest Space Marines, and want them to die a most horrid death.

But that's all I'm going to say on them, now if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go wash my mouth out with soap for speaking about them for so long.

**SoloFalcon1138**

Can I celebrate my 381st post by calling out a thread as inane as this one?

**Golden Sabres**

SoloFalcon1138 wrote:Can I celebrate my 381st post by calling out a thread as inane as this one?

Of course, go nuts, knock yourself out.

**SoloFalcon1138**

too late...

**Ordo Dakka**

I hope CSM is next.

**Slarg232**

Ordo Dakka wrote:I hope CSM is next.

You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?

**Golden Sabres**

Eldar better be number 1.

You wouldn't want to hurt a dying races feelings would you? Or are you a monster that likes mocking people on their deathbed?

**Ordo Dakka**

I think number one will be obscure as hell just like Konrad Curze was for the primarch one.

I'm going to go for DE or Tau. Orks could be next, being the second most cliche race. Although 40k Orks are the raddest orc variation of the bunch.

**Golden Sabres**

Ordo Dakka wrote:Although 40k Orks are the raddest orc variation of the bunch.

Waaaaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Little lord Fauntleroy**

Was my face when I saw yet another Dakkite is following in my proverbial footsteps of ranking.

**Eyclonus**

I reckon Tau will take number 11, they lack much depth other than Two-Faced Collectivists. Their units also seem to be quite dull and uninspiried.

**Slarg232**

#11

Nickleback Aproved.

Beating the Space Marine out to gain the #11 spot is the Dark Eldar.

What can I say about the Dark Eldar? I'll admit, the new models coming out are rather cool. Really cool. But not cool enough that I would want to play an army of them. Purple is a cool color, and it's the standard Dark Eldar color done by the Heavy Metal Team. However, not even the Color Purple can save them from their flaws. As you have noticed, the title is "Nickleback Aproved", and do you want to know why? Dark Eldar are nothing but Animals.

Now, I'm not the most well versed person in Dark Eldar, or Eldar in general, lore. However what little I think I know speaks volumes. You see, there was a time where the entire Eldar race was like the Dark Eldar, giving in to base desires, drinking, partying, having "relations" every night, killing for the simple sake of killing. Like the Nickleback song "Animals", "No! Never gonna quit!/Ain't nothing wrong with it! Acting like we're Animals!". Now, I am kind of prejudiced to people who do this sort of thing Every. Single. Night. but hey, what are you going to do? It's not like some sort of Dark God is going to form itself out of these base desires and devour the entire race, causing people to realize what they were doing is sick and disgusting. Oh.... Wait.

You see, I don't like the Dark Eldar because they drink, party and

every night. And they are doing it after the fact that this is what caused their brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sons and daughters to be killed by the embodiment of this behavior. They fell to the Dark Side for the wrong reasons, and still haven't realized that they are the cause for one of the darkest evils ever to exist. Or rather, they just don't care.

To be clear, I don't hate the Dark Eldar in the same way as I hate the Space Marines. Marinees are really the only army I absolutely Loath. But I just can not back an army of such debauche behaviour as the Dark Eldar.

**Eyclonus**

So your argument against the Dark Eldar is that they're elves that should be on Jerry Springer?

**Slarg232**

Basically, and the fact that their families were all killed but they just kept trucking along with their bad behavior.

**Eyclonus**

Their familes weren't just killed, they f***ed 2 gaping holes in reality.

**Slarg232**

Eyclonus wrote:Their familes weren't just killed, they f***ed 2 gaping holes in reality.

Still basically the same. They are gone and ain't coming back.

Like I said, I'm not too familiar with DEldar fluff, but this is what I know. They caused Slaanesh to appear, and still kept on doing what they felt like doing.

**Witzkatz**

Hrm. I don't regard myself as an expert on the field of Dark Eldary, but saying they're still drinking and partying and

ing like on the old times might not be the most accurate description of their actual state. As far as I know, they are fragging horrified of Slaneesh and doing all they can to get her attention away from them, living in fear that their souls might devoured if they take one wrong step.

They chose the wrong way of dealing with the Great Fall and its aftermath (torturing innocents and all the stuff to divert the attention of She Who Thirsts), but I don't think they're like "Whoa, we just created a Dark God of Chaos! Cool! Now, where's that bottle 'o Vodka?!"

**Eyclonus**

Actually a good part of their hedonism seems to be a coping mechanism to the whole soul eating thing, otherwise you wouldn't get the Wych Kults cropping up like mad.

**Seaward**

Slarg232 wrote:#12

For the Emperor!
---------------------------------

Coming in dead last is the Space Marines. I'm not going to say things like "Spehss Mahreens!" or mention "Metal Bawkses", as those just aren't the reason I destest the Space Marines. I don't even mind the fact that little kids usually are the ones who play Space Marines. The two things that fuel my hatred of the Emperors Finest are simple, really.

One of the reasons is that Space Marines get EVERYTHING everyone else has, and then some. More codices than anyone else? Check. Love in the most horrid, Cheesy ways? Check. The most showtime? Check. As all of us are aware, Space Marines are the spoiled rotten brats of Warhammer 40K. Every single version of them have some sort of rule that very nearly breaks the game. Want to split units for easier point captures? You can do that. Want a unit of Devastators that can destroy 3 tanks in one turn? Theres an army for that. Want Flamers and Melta's? You can get rules for that, too. Want an army of close combat, FNP monsters? Marines have you covered. Now, I know they are the "flagship race", and so deserve a little extra love, but Seriously!? SERIOUSLY!?

The other, more important reason, is that they are just one big giant Cliche, not that much of this game is based off of much more than that. Super Soldiers just don't interest me anymore, be they Spartan IIs or Replica Forces, Super Soldiers just need to go the way of the video game Ninja and mostly go away. Maybe it's because I'm a hardcore gamer, and so have had very, very heavy super soldier exposure, but super soldiers bore me like no other. I could forgive the fact that they get everything that everyone and their mothers get, and then some, if they weren't cliched super humans defending humanity, but they are their little cliche, and so I can't.

Maybe it's because I play Chaos Space Marines, and so naturally have to hate on Space Marines. Maybe it's because someone can make a custom chapter, carry around anywhere from two to four books, and have up to four armies with mostly the same models. Maybe it's because I hate popular things. But for whatever reason, I detest Space Marines, and want them to die a most horrid death.

But that's all I'm going to say on them, now if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go wash my mouth out with soap for speaking about them for so long.

You're so utterly sick of super soldiers...yet you play the evil super soldiers as your main army? Interesting.

**Devastator**

Slarg232 wrote:#11
Nickleback Aproved.

why do you have striking scorpion as pic for DE

**Slarg232**

In mine defense, that was the first pic that popped up for a google search of Dark Eldar.

**Eyclonus**

Devastator wrote:why do you have striking scorpion as pic for DE

Arhra?

**Devastator**

Eyclonus wrote:
Devastator wrote:why do you have striking scorpion as pic for DE
Arhra?

is chaos eldar?

**Eyclonus**

He abandoned his shrine to wage war on his kin, I think the plan for the fluff was that we went on to found the Incubi cult in Commargh

**Devastator**

he burns with light of chaos so yeah
and dark father arent arhra

**Eyclonus**

Arhra fights for/with/against Slannesh right? What makes that different from the DE?

**Devastator**

who said anything about slaanesh?

he worships chaos vs de that dont worship chaos

simple

**Eyclonus**

Some DE worship chaos, the Archon in the third Soul Drinkers certainly did.