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2010/11/16 00:49:17
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
I was recently inspired by a PM from a fellow DAKKA member. Its high time DAKKA gets it beard on! And Im not talking horrible neck beards, that scare children and stink up your FLGS. No! This thread is all about how awesome beards are, everyone knows it! So lets let the chin squig out of the bag shall we?
Firstly, the hilarious PM that left me in tears
Good day mr Cracker sir, I, as you may well be informed, have been a dakka friend of yours for fruitful months now, and alas I have not perused many of your painting achievments in the recent weeks I have often been entertained, with much mirth I must say, by your exquisite postings and oft changed avatar highlighting, nay!, bringing to the fore, the beauty of Beard! it warms my cold heart to see such a beast lounging comfortably around that proud face of yours, and i must exclaim, "yay, all thee who shalt listen, the beard is here, and it is beautiful! come join me brothers in sharing beard with the world!" and whilst that erstwhile thought lingers constantly in my ever active mind, i often find myself drifting off at work daydreaming about a cheeky grin, a glinting monacle and the best beard i've seen... and as i snap out of the daze I think to myself, if i had the tools, imagination and tenacity I would start a thread about the beauty of beards! but alas, I don't yet my mind flares with sudden wonder and excitement "maybe the beard king will heed my calls and start something I can follow on dakka with reckless abandon foregoing news and rumors and even painting blogs! it would be madness!...madnes I tell you, but also such sweet beauty"
I bid you and the beard king farewell SirCracker, I hope one day I shall see the land of dakka covered with the warmth only a beard can provide.
So Ive tasked my bearded minions to change the world! We have a spot in Urban dictionary
"Beardcore is for those who: * have a beard * aspire to have a beard * like beards * love beards * think beards are hot * think beards rock * are hardcore in general "Wow look at that beard! He's so beardcore!" "I wish I was as hardcore as you.... BEARDCORE!" Link http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Beardcore
Well I WAS going to add a vid from a band called Beardcore......but they seem to of disappeared. Oh well, eventually Im sure Ill find them. SO! DAKKA!! Anything about the awesomeness that is BEARD! Post tips, questions, epic beards, your beards, its all good (also, 8k posts suckas!)
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/11/16 00:49:39
2011/10/03 09:56:39
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
Minnesota, land of 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000 Mosquitos
Sadly, I don't have a beard to speak of (lousy rules at work) but I have a respectable goatee stubble. Let's see if we can't get some truly epic beard pics in this thread!
My Armies:
Kal'reia Sept Tau - Farsight Sympathizers Da Great Looted Waaagh! The Court of the Wolf Lords
I've said this before, but I must re-emphasis this again.
Beards are evil. They grow simply to get big enough to suffocate you in your sleep as they slink down your esophagus and choke off that sweet, sweet oxygen intake.
Or they eventually detach and devour your face from right underneath your nose (literally!).
My advice- murder the beard before it murders you.
NO! and I do say this in a very harsh tone warone! you kind sir are wrong, the beard isn't evil, how can a part of you that protects your chin and neck from falling food and warms you and your loved ones on cold winters nights be evil?...it can't! there is no more argument on it! and what about pride? beardcore pride! how often have we been strolling the streets of our local towns and exclaimed "Wow, check out the awesome beard on that guy!" we all secretly want to have the skills and passion for such hirsute projects! so we too can be 'that guy with the awesome beard!' and hence, beards are cool, not just cool, but awesome in a way no other bodily attribute comes close! yeah sure you may be buff or be hung like a donkey but if you have a beard that instills jealousy in people then you're in front by inches...nay, miles!
So bring on the beard my friends and lets all rejoice clap our hands onto our brothers backs and say, "don't shave, chicks dig beards! and dudes respect them" if i had the power at my current work station I would search the web high and low bringing this thread pictures of beards from around the globe, so many perhaps that the thread would never move from 'recent threads' ever! but I do emplore you dakkaites to do your best and keep some beardcore love going on! post away my brethren!
May the Beard be with you!
Flesh Eaters 4,500 points
" I will constantly have those in my head telling me how lazy and ugly and whorish I am. You sir, are a true friend " - KingCracker
"Nah, I'm just way too lazy to stand up so I keep sitting and paint" - Sigur
"I think the NMM technique with metals is just MNMM. Same sound I make while eating a good pizza" - Whalemusic360
2010/11/16 14:43:29
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
nerdfest09 wrote:NO! and I do say this in a very harsh tone warone! you kind sir are wrong, the beard isn't evil, how can a part of you that protects your chin and neck from falling food and warms you and your loved ones on cold winters nights be evil?...it can't! there is no more argument on it! and what about pride? beardcore pride! how often have we been strolling the streets of our local towns and exclaimed "Wow, check out the awesome beard on that guy!" we all secretly want to have the skills and passion for such hirsute projects! so we too can be 'that guy with the awesome beard!' and hence, beards are cool, not just cool, but awesome in a way no other bodily attribute comes close! yeah sure you may be buff or be hung like a donkey but if you have a beard that instills jealousy in people then you're in front by inches...nay, miles!
So bring on the beard my friends and lets all rejoice clap our hands onto our brothers backs and say, "don't shave, chicks dig beards! and dudes respect them" if i had the power at my current work station I would search the web high and low bringing this thread pictures of beards from around the globe, so many perhaps that the thread would never move from 'recent threads' ever! but I do emplore you dakkaites to do your best and keep some beardcore love going on! post away my brethren!
May the Beard be with you!
Oh, it wants to hug you. Hug you dearly until every vitality is drawn from you, strengthening itself while you become hollow within!
It pretends to love you and your loved ones. If you do find the beard's true nature before it is strong enough, it will latch onto another one that is dear to you. Then confronted with either estranging your loved one and killing to beard or leaving it alone and fester inside becomes a hard choice. Murdering the beard is better than losing someone precious to you.
And those people walking the streets with a proud stride? Well, those are the unfortunately few that have a mindcontrolling beard. In reality, the "owners" of the beard are poor souls trapped within the husk of their body, banding on invisible glass walls as they watch their beard encourage others to adopt a beard and become mindless automatons like they became.
In fact, your zealous admiration of the beard has made me conclude that your beard has already taken over you. I must weep for you, as I now need your address and the owner of a local chainsaw store.
Monster Rain wrote:I really thought that one had legs.
Beards don't have no legs.
They have strong spindly fibers by which they dig into your skin and latch on when dormant and those same appendiges detach when they shuffle around and search for a new host.
you must....not...kill...the....beard! you must encourage it! they are not evil, example 1: Chuck Norris texas ranger- beard for the good of mankind!
example 2: Abe Lincon-good guy (apparently)
example 3: Kingcracker-legend!
example 4:Nerdfest09-catching up to KC ;-)
Flesh Eaters 4,500 points
" I will constantly have those in my head telling me how lazy and ugly and whorish I am. You sir, are a true friend " - KingCracker
"Nah, I'm just way too lazy to stand up so I keep sitting and paint" - Sigur
"I think the NMM technique with metals is just MNMM. Same sound I make while eating a good pizza" - Whalemusic360
2010/11/16 15:04:14
Subject: Re:DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
nerdfest09 wrote:you must....not...kill...the....beard! you must encourage it! they are not evil, example 1: Chuck Norris texas ranger- beard for the good of mankind!
example 2: Abe Lincon-good guy (apparently)
Example 1- Chuck Norris is a force of nature. In fact, the beard god is what Chuck Norris derives his facial hair from. The cowering, sly god of beards, BeardOdinJupiterShivaJesus- lost a battle of wills with the fabled Norris and must now rest on his chin for all times, secretly covering the third fist of Chuck from nonbelievers.
Example 2- And Abe Lincoln was felled by an evil beard. Who do you think framed the famous stage actor John Wilkes Booth? While Lincoln and Booth were enjoying popcorn, the beard of Lincoln reached around the president, pulled a gun from an unsuspecting officer of the army, killed our beloved president, and framed the actor all in one deft and devious motion.
Uhm.... did he say 4 months? Dear lord, that guys not a TRUE chinsquig holder!! It takes me about a month to grow that puny beard/mustache
Albatross wrote:I'm not into Beardcore, but I am into 'Tache-Rock!
Truly a god amongst men.
BTW, I'm rocking an absolute pearler at the moment - I look like Oswald fething Mosley!
And any time you can bring Freddie Mercury into a thread, he wins, hands down. The only thing I hold against the guy, is his lack of chinsquig
Warone - Why are you so anti beard? Ive pondered on it.....and I think Ive figured you out. Your one of those guys that CANT grow facial hair arnt you? So now your jealousy has taken over you, and you have a vendetta against beardkind! Its ok, I had a friend that was like that once............. couldnt grow anything ever. Never shaved either. It was fun to make fun of his unmanlyness
2010/11/16 15:25:21
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
Lol, yes I myself have gleaned the same information about our nefarious friend Warone! whilst browsing some previous threads I stumbled apon comments again of the anti beard movement! I also believe that he cannot then grow a beard and therefore can never be Beardcore! or he is in fact a she! and will find it impossible to grow said beard! which would explain the animosity towards us that love and honour the beard, this I believe is how evil plans get hatched in the dead of night, not by beards at all, yet by those who cry themselves to sleep at night as their tears roll unhindered down their smooth and feminine features.....
Flesh Eaters 4,500 points
" I will constantly have those in my head telling me how lazy and ugly and whorish I am. You sir, are a true friend " - KingCracker
"Nah, I'm just way too lazy to stand up so I keep sitting and paint" - Sigur
"I think the NMM technique with metals is just MNMM. Same sound I make while eating a good pizza" - Whalemusic360
2010/11/16 15:40:23
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
KingCracker wrote:WarOne - Why are you so anti beard? Ive pondered on it.....and I think Ive figured you out. Your one of those guys that CANT grow facial hair arnt you? So now your jealousy has taken over you, and you have a vendetta against beardkind! Its ok, I had a friend that was like that once............. couldnt grow anything ever. Never shaved either. It was fun to make fun of his unmanlyness
Out of Character- I am playing the role of Phineas Chinclean- the Beard Hunter. Trained by the infamous Van Helsing of vampire repute, Phineas Chinclean discovered early on in his career that he was quite unable to tackle any sort of vampire threat without Helsing saving his bacon and rescuing the hapless hunter. Even vampire babies were difficult for Chinclean to kill, oftening being rushed to what passed for 19th century hospitals after inducing over a dozen stake related injuries to himself.
Finally, when he was about to put down the holy water for the last time, he heard a shriek. Running out of his house, he discovered a man's beard slithering its way from the corpse of its previous owner, attacking the poor gent's wife. Thinking quickly, Phineas smothered the beard and used his knife to cut it in twain.
Thus was Phineas Chinclean born- the Beard Hunter.
Back in Character- Another defender of the beard, eh? Well, I have seen your kind before and I must say good sir that I will also be paying a visit to your residence for some good "beard cleaning."
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2010/11/16 15:40:48
Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Flesh Eaters 4,500 points
" I will constantly have those in my head telling me how lazy and ugly and whorish I am. You sir, are a true friend " - KingCracker
"Nah, I'm just way too lazy to stand up so I keep sitting and paint" - Sigur
"I think the NMM technique with metals is just MNMM. Same sound I make while eating a good pizza" - Whalemusic360
2010/11/17 02:10:17
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
KingCracker wrote:WarOne - Why are you so anti beard? Ive pondered on it.....and I think Ive figured you out. Your one of those guys that CANT grow facial hair arnt you? So now your jealousy has taken over you, and you have a vendetta against beardkind! Its ok, I had a friend that was like that once............. couldnt grow anything ever. Never shaved either. It was fun to make fun of his unmanlyness
Out of Character- I am playing the role of Phineas Chinclean- the Beard Hunter. Trained by the infamous Van Helsing of vampire repute, Phineas Chinclean discovered early on in his career that he was quite unable to tackle any sort of vampire threat without Helsing saving his bacon and rescuing the hapless hunter. Even vampire babies were difficult for Chinclean to kill, oftening being rushed to what passed for 19th century hospitals after inducing over a dozen stake related injuries to himself.
Finally, when he was about to put down the holy water for the last time, he heard a shriek. Running out of his house, he discovered a man's beard slithering its way from the corpse of its previous owner, attacking the poor gent's wife. Thinking quickly, Phineas smothered the beard and used his knife to cut it in twain.
Thus was Phineas Chinclean born- the Beard Hunter.
Back in Character- Another defender of the beard, eh? Well, I have seen your kind before and I must say good sir that I will also be paying a visit to your residence for some good "beard cleaning."
Firstly, this deserves a serious WTF full of laughter Your in character and thats hilarious.
Come to my residence then, we shall play a game of 40k, we will laugh, then you can TRY to shave the ol chinsquig off
2010/11/17 03:50:23
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
nerdfest09 wrote:Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Who is this WarOne you speak of? I am Phineas Chinclean. I believe the chinleech upon you has addled your mind.
A beard tried to have me once.
In now resides in a jar of formaldehyde on my dresser next to a picture of Sir Lawrence Olivier.
I have outlasted many a beard. Some have been buried alive. Others chained within a dark cellar, never to see the light of day again. Why, I've also eaten several choice beards as well. You know certain tribes of cannibals and carnivores believe that eating worthy foes only strengthens you.
nerdfest09 wrote:Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Who is this WarOne you speak of? I am Phineas Chinclean. I believe the chinleech upon you has addled your mind.
A beard tried to have me once.
In now resides in a jar of formaldehyde on my dresser next to a picture of Sir Lawrence Olivier.
I have outlasted many a beard. Some have been buried alive. Others chained within a dark cellar, never to see the light of day again. Why, I've also eaten several choice beards as well. You know certain tribes of cannibals and carnivores believe that eating worthy foes only strengthens you.
So you're Maori?
Catachan LIX "Lords Of Destruction" - Put Away
1943-1944 Era 1250 point Großdeutchland Force - Bolt Action
"The best medicine for Wraithlords? Multilasers. The best way to kill an Avatar? Lasguns."
"Time to pour out some liquor for the pinkmisted Harlequins"
Res Ipsa Loquitor
2010/11/17 04:53:15
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
nerdfest09 wrote:Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Who is this WarOne you speak of? I am Phineas Chinclean. I believe the chinleech upon you has addled your mind.
A beard tried to have me once.
In now resides in a jar of formaldehyde on my dresser next to a picture of Sir Lawrence Olivier.
I have outlasted many a beard. Some have been buried alive. Others chained within a dark cellar, never to see the light of day again. Why, I've also eaten several choice beards as well. You know certain tribes of cannibals and carnivores believe that eating worthy foes only strengthens you.
nerdfest09 wrote:Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Who is this WarOne you speak of? I am Phineas Chinclean. I believe the chinleech upon you has addled your mind.
A beard tried to have me once.
In now resides in a jar of formaldehyde on my dresser next to a picture of Sir Lawrence Olivier.
I have outlasted many a beard. Some have been buried alive. Others chained within a dark cellar, never to see the light of day again. Why, I've also eaten several choice beards as well. You know certain tribes of cannibals and carnivores believe that eating worthy foes only strengthens you.
So you're Maori?
No no, I am Phineas Chinclean, the Beard Hunter.
Phineas ChinClean, the Maori Beard Hunter. Got it.
Catachan LIX "Lords Of Destruction" - Put Away
1943-1944 Era 1250 point Großdeutchland Force - Bolt Action
"The best medicine for Wraithlords? Multilasers. The best way to kill an Avatar? Lasguns."
"Time to pour out some liquor for the pinkmisted Harlequins"
Res Ipsa Loquitor
2010/11/17 05:11:10
Subject: DAKKA rejoice! Its a Beard thread of epic proportions!
nerdfest09 wrote:Ah a lovely tale worthy of any bard, I wager, but it does not address the issues arising from your eternal defamation of all that is beardy? does it retaliate as to why you hate the beard? nay, does it strenghten your argument that all that is beard is evil?,nay, it does nothing but try to confuse us with words spoken from texts as yet unread! unfounded truths beyond that which those with beard would ever believe, look around with arms outstretched Warone, YOU, and you alone stand lonely in a thread brimming with the love of all that is beard! the beard will survive long past your demise and we will embrace the tickling fancy and remember your lone rantings as that of a fool!
may the beard be with you, and that one day you seek the error of your thoughts!
Who is this WarOne you speak of? I am Phineas Chinclean. I believe the chinleech upon you has addled your mind.
A beard tried to have me once.
In now resides in a jar of formaldehyde on my dresser next to a picture of Sir Lawrence Olivier.
I have outlasted many a beard. Some have been buried alive. Others chained within a dark cellar, never to see the light of day again. Why, I've also eaten several choice beards as well. You know certain tribes of cannibals and carnivores believe that eating worthy foes only strengthens you.
So you're Maori?
No no, I am Phineas Chinclean, the Beard Hunter.
Phineas ChinClean, the Maori Beard Hunter. Got it.
No...I hunt all stripes of beards. Beards that eat other beards is just one cross-section of beards that I hunt.
I also hunt the polka-dot beards and beards shaped like a flying saucer.
Catachan LIX "Lords Of Destruction" 
)
Kal'reia Sept Tau - Farsight Sympathizers 
Da Great Looted Waaagh! 
The Court of the Wolf Lords 
Flesh Eaters 4,500 points
