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Quick back ground....to spend more time with the girlfriend, I stopped going to roller derby on the weekends, playing DnD on Fridays, and pretty much stopped watching football on Sundays to spend time with her, the majority of the time being spent at her parents on the weekends, watching Fox News or movies I dont care to see. It was...frowned upon for me to take models to work on or my laptop....

I asked over a month ago if it was ok to play in tournaments on the 13th and 20th, and the 24th in September. I was given verbal permission, and no email answer was given.

Tonight I was told I should not have planned things on those days without discussing them with her, and she doesn't want to see me this weekend ( immature response).

I've given up tons...asked her not make one change or stop doing small things that disturb me ( week night outings with her all male co workers)....

So I decided tonight things were over.

So......should I really go over and tell her, or is an email or phone call really too cold and inpersonal?????

Let me give you the extremely limited dating advice a teen has.

In a now modern age a phone call is ok. You can hang up if things get bad
A text,email is not, solely because they can't immedatly respond
Face to Face can have some unwanted results making you feel bad and you can't get away fast like the phone
Just my opinion but if you want to keep her respect and/or friendship take the risk with face to face.

Lost one, no.
Do to my reputation of nerdiness though, a girl refused to give me her phone number( Although I later found out she didn't have a phone making me feel like a total ass after asking her 3-4 times over a year) yet I caught her staring a few times, and she has caught me. Is her doing this out of hate never know cuz women have a wierd mind much like eldar, us Huma-I mean males will never understand.

Just the two cents of a

Face-to-Face.

Post it note stuck to her parents TV.

Howdy, I'm Cannerus, and I'm god when it comes to women. If it's been serious, do face to face if possible. Ways to powergame a breakup:

-Sending a "we need to talk" text is okay and if she just so happens to insist that you do it over the phone right then, then you're in the clear as well.

-Say "I know I suck, I can't believe I'm actually doing this" at random intervals and just blame yourself for everything. It's entertaining how much less crap you have to hear and they're prone to believe you.

-May sound cold, but be painting a model while you do it. Having something to focus on emotionally besides her will help you stay more objective.

You're welcome.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Post it note stuck to her parents TV.

While I like this, it would be a 3 hour drive to the beach....

Face to face. You've already given her enough ammunition to complain to her girlfriends post break-up, you don't need to giver hr any more. Meet her somewhere, tell her its been real, its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun. You're not going to change who you are for her, and that you don't like how she tries to control you, etc. and that its over. Goodbye, and leave.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Howdy, I'm Cannerus, and I'm god when it comes to women. If it's been serious, do face to face if possible. Ways to powergame a breakup:

-Sending a "we need to talk" text is okay and if she just so happens to insist that you do it over the phone right then, then you're in the clear as well.

-Say "I know I suck, I can't believe I'm actually doing this" at random intervals and just blame yourself for everything. It's entertaining how much less crap you have to hear and they're prone to believe you.

-May sound cold, but be painting a model while you do it. Having something to focus on emotionally besides her will help you stay more objective.

You're welcome.

This is all true.

hmm, considering where i come from 'dating' and all this is much more, shall we say, old fashioned(go to the girls dad, sorta thing) i would say face-to-face. in a relationship both parties should give up equal amounts for each other. still though im a young guy and Cannerus is immortal woman whisper

I always do the breaking-up, because I've got game.



In all seriousness, if you're done with her it doesn't really make much difference at all how you inform her of this fact. My advice is to get creative - wait until she's asleep and write the word 'DUMPED' on her forehead in permanent marker. She wakes up, looks in the mirror - hey presto!

Albatross wrote:I always do the breaking-up, because I've got game.



In all seriousness, if you're done with her it doesn't really make much difference at all how you inform her of this fact. My advice is to get creative - wait until she's asleep and write the word 'DUMPED' on her forehead in permanent marker. She wakes up, looks in the mirror - hey presto!

Be sure to write backwards so she can read it in the mirror.

A note tied to a brick thrown through the window will get the point across as well.

Tell the bitch to jog on.

assultmarine wrote:hmm, considering where i come from 'dating' and all this is much more, shall we say, old fashioned(go to the girls dad, sorta thing)

You still stuck in 1980s Ireland?

Marry her, but make sure that they vows make her 'obey' you.

Albatross wrote:I always do the breaking-up, because I've got game.



In all seriousness, if you're done with her it doesn't really make much difference at all how you inform her of this fact. My advice is to get creative - wait until she's asleep and write the word 'DUMPED' on her forehead in permanent marker. She wakes up, looks in the mirror - hey presto!

This.

Seriously, she sounds like a control freak. Run away as fast as you can and don't look back. These kinds of women are the types that end up baby trapping a man, then you get to live out your days under her thumb as a miserable shell of a man.

Don't even worry about face to face break ups vs. text vs. phone, just do it. Do it right now as a matter of fact!!

Look up the term 'cuckold'.

Then dump this girl by whatever means you have at your disposal.

Toastedandy wrote:

assultmarine wrote:hmm, considering where i come from 'dating' and all this is much more, shall we say, old fashioned(go to the girls dad, sorta thing)

You still stuck in 1980s Ireland?

I HATE it when people spread bull about Ireland. Acting like we are a backward nation. Wheres your pride son?

Mr. Burning wrote:Look up the term 'cuckold'.

Maybe you should look it up aswell

The first piece of advice:

Have you tried punching her?

On to serious business.

I've done this once before, and no matter in what way you do it, you'll get whining anyway. So, unless she is heavily involved with lots of your friends, just go the easiest route.

Go to the tourneys, watch the games on sunday, go back to playing DnD. See what happens. She leaves you? Who cares? You're enjoying yourself, and you don't have to do any work, at all.

KGatch113 wrote:So......should I really go over and tell her, or is an email or phone call really too cold and inpersonal?????

Does it really matter, in the long run? Assuming she really is being unreasonably controlling and manipulative such as you're describing, are you going to think back on this event and wonder "I really should have told her face-to-face, not over the phone"?

If you've got that much of an emotional attachment to her that the question of how to break up bothers you, you should really rethink your priorities. Is gaming that much more important than having a loving and satisfying relationship?

KGatch113 wrote:
Quick back ground....to spend more time with the girlfriend, I stopped going to roller derby on the weekends, playing DnD on Fridays, and pretty much stopped watching football on Sundays to spend time with her, the majority of the time being spent at her parents on the weekends, watching Fox News or movies I dont care to see. It was...frowned upon for me to take models to work on or my laptop....

How often do you see her outside these periods?

No offense, but I find that when most people, men or women, claim their significant other is unusually controlling, they are underestimating their own control of the relationship.

Either way, if being with your significant other feels like a burden, then it should clearly be a relationship to be ended. In face is common courtesy, but if you can't get away with that (some people have difficulty doing things like that face-to-face), then it doesn't matter; especially if you don't have common friends.

Toastedandy wrote:Tell the bitch to jog on.

assultmarine wrote:hmm, considering where i come from 'dating' and all this is much more, shall we say, old fashioned(go to the girls dad, sorta thing)

You still stuck in 1980s Ireland?

nope jsut farming area in north donegal and conservitive family

Break up with her, and don't look back or second guess yourself. That will only cause problems.

Well, first of all I'm glad to see that you're making the decision to end it. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, at all.

I wouldn't blame myself, though. You don't have to be rude but you don't have to fall on your sword, either. Tell he exactly what the problem is and why you're choosing to move on. It won't be easy, but breaking up never is.

And since I am who I am, and this is the OT forum, I'd be remiss if I didn't say to let her catch you in a compromising situation with her sister and/or best friend.

"It's not me, it's you."

KGatch113 wrote:Quick back ground....to spend more time with the girlfriend, I stopped going to roller derby on the weekends, playing DnD on Fridays, and pretty much stopped watching football on Sundays to spend time with her, the majority of the time being spent at her parents on the weekends, watching Fox News or movies I dont care to see. It was...frowned upon for me to take models to work on or my laptop....

I asked over a month ago if it was ok to play in tournaments on the 13th and 20th, and the 24th in September. I was given verbal permission, and no email answer was given.

Tonight I was told I should not have planned things on those days without discussing them with her, and she doesn't want to see me this weekend ( immature response).

Hm. She really needs to give you more space... even if you two were married this would be too much.

If you really feel you need to break up (and if this is true-- we don't know both sides of this story-- I'd say you're justified), I'd say break up in whatever way you feel most comfortable. Don't let yourself be intimidated is the most important part.

I feel that she should make a account on here so she can offer her side of the story. These types of threads are always a bit one sided.


Also, maybe Cannerus could offer some sort of couples counseling?

Ma55ter_fett wrote:Also, maybe Cannerus could offer some sort of couples counseling?

I think he does. Just not in the way you might expect. Or, maybe exactly like you would expect.

There are four questions you need to ask yourself:

1) Will you forced to spend time with her after the breakup due to other obligations (either personal or professional)?

2) Do you have any mutual friends you want to remain friends with?

3) What is the shortest number of connections between her friends and anyone you know? (Her sister is a co-worker with you is 1, her friend goes to school with your friend is 2, etc)

4) Do you care about her feelings?

If 1 is yes, you need to break-up in person. Be very nice about it. Don't go blaming her. Take most of the blame yourself. Say things like "I guess I'm just not ready for this level of commitment."

If 1 is no and 2 is yes, you need to break-up in person, phone call, or through a thoughtful letter/email. Be somewhat nice. Don't go pointing out her flaws, but don't take any of the blame yourself. Say things like "We just aren't right for each other."

If 1 is no, 2 is no, and 3 is 2 or less, you need to break-up in person, phone call, or through a thoughtful letter/email. No need to be too nice. Feel free to point out exactly what issues drove you to this, but don't go name calling. Say things like "The amount of time we spend doing activities you like is too much for me."

If 1 is no, 2 is no, 3 is 3 or more, and 4 is yes, you can break-up however you want. You can do it in person, a phone call, an email, or a text message. Be polite, but not nice. Say things like "You're way too controlling for me."

If 1 is no, 2 is no, 3 is 3 or more, and 4 is no, you don't even need to break-up with her formally. Just ignore her until she gets the picture. If you do want to actually communicate with her, feel free to be as mean as you want. Name calling is totally allowed. Say things like "You stupid b****. You're terrible in bed, and I hate you."

If she is being a control freak leave her.

She is not worth it just by reading it.

Also listen to cannerus.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:I feel that she should make a account on here so she can offer her side of the story. These types of threads are always a bit one sided.


Also, maybe Cannerus could offer some sort of couples counseling?

I'm sure he's had sex with a few couples, so yeah, it could work.