warhammer 40k armys in a nutshell

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**pinoypower**

i know only allitle about any other warhammer army beside the tyranids so i think this is a way to get things straight about other armys background and hopefully before this thread dies i will know more about other armys.

**Ironsight**

Most all your questions can be answered here:
http://www.lexicanum.com/

**Billie_Joe**

yeah, theres SOOO much crap to learn. Ironsight hit it on the nose. That place has almost everything, including BL stuff

**Lynata**

Which is both a blessing as well as a curse... Lexicanum does not seem to differentiate between BL stuff and studio material. Unlike GW.

It remains an excellent index for one's own research, though, by (usually) listing the various sources used for the article.

**Adiutrix**

Space Marines - Super human bio-engineered brain-screwed with 8 foot tall badasses what punch things in the face instead of shoot them. 100000000 different chapters, etc.

Orkz - Technically a fungus, rely on weight of numbers since they can't do anything right. Generate a psycho-active field that basically makes whatever stupid gak they believe in come true. Live to cut things into small pieces and make lots of sound.

Imperial Guard - Regular, normal human beings. Sent into battle with a tshirt and a flashlight. Get shot if they look even the slightest bit scared. Have lots of tanks though.

Eldar - Ninjas what do magic.

Dark Eldar - Perverted ninjas what do magic.

Tau - Master snipers, like to pew pew things from a long distance in the name of blue-skinned xenocommunism.

Sisters of Battle - Hot nuns in power armour shoot everything with fire in the name of burning HERESY HERESY HERESY HERESY.

Chaos Space Marines - Like space marines but with more feth.

**Azure**

Necrons- Unloved child that has been left in the cold T...T

**bombboy1252**

Don't forget about the squats! hahaha

**bib**

Chaos are wicked you can also summon daemons.

**Neophiles94**

Space Marines: The illiterate "good guys" and METAL BAWKSES
IG: Tanks, Tanks, Tanks, Rambos, Tanks, Tanks and CREED
Inquisition: Not spanish, but filled with general douchebaggery
Chaos: The "bad guys", Daemons, spikes and SINDRIIII
Orks: Big green mushrooms, their weapons work 'cos they says so
Tyranids: BIG. BUGS.
Eldar: Nearly as arrogant as the Inquisition, more douchebaggery than Chaos
Dark Eldar: Same as above, except into bondage and stuff like that
Tau: Fish Communists with japanese mechs and man eating chickens

**chaos0xomega**

I would like to point out that the Tau are neither fish (show me the last time you saw a fish that didn't have gills but had hooves and reverse jointed lower legs!) nor are they communists (newsflash, communist societies don't have caste systems... For the Greater Good is not a concept exclusive to communism, a lot of anti-commie/capitalist/other societies have used that reasoning to justify all sorts of crazy gak).

Anyway, while lexicanum is a good resource, I suggest http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Warhammer_40k_Wiki

I find its generally a bit more complete than lexicanum.

**Nicholas**

They were jokes very common jokes. Called fish because all their ships are named after fish. And communism is because of the greater good and all. They weren't serious atleast I hope not.

**chaos0xomega**

Nicholas wrote:They were jokes very common jokes. Called fish because all their ships are named after fish. And communism is because of the greater good and all. They weren't serious atleast I hope not.

I'll point out that all the fishy names are the Imperial designations for tau vehicles, etc. And yes, I get the 'jokes', I've been reading them for 7 years, they are about as funny now as they were then (they're not).

**Nicholas**

No need to get beat up about it though. Also I'm interested in what the Tau call them.

**Neophiles94**

Nicholas wrote:No need to get beat up about it though. Also I'm interested in what the Tau call them.

As am I, and I didn't mean to imply that Tau are either fish or communist, it just seems better that way.

**BeefCakeSoup**

chaos0xomega wrote:
Nicholas wrote:They were jokes very common jokes. Called fish because all their ships are named after fish. And communism is because of the greater good and all. They weren't serious atleast I hope not.

I'll point out that all the fishy names are the Imperial designations for tau vehicles, etc. And yes, I get the 'jokes', I've been reading them for 7 years, they are about as funny now as they were then (they're not).

Another piece of lazy fluff.

Naming Tau vehicles after fish that might only exist on ancient earth FTL...

**chaos0xomega**

Neophiles94 wrote:
Nicholas wrote:No need to get beat up about it though. Also I'm interested in what the Tau call them.

As am I, and I didn't mean to imply that Tau are either fish or communist, it just seems better that way.

If it was a thread discussing Tau I would agree, but when the OP is looking for more info about other factions, its misleading and gives those that don't know any better a false impression. Just trying to keep things real.

As for Tau designations, no clue, it seems most stories told from the perspective of the Tau just substitute in the Imperial designation.

BTW, lets break down the Marines a bit:

Dark Angels - One of the first chapters/legions, had its own mini-heresy/civil war around the time of the Horus Heresy, half the chapter went renegade. That is the Chapters most closely guarded secret, its now dedicated to hunting down and eliminating the surviving traitors.

Black Templars - Imperial Fist successors. Ignore the Codex Astartes entirely, and as such are a rather large chapter. They are religious zealots and are constantly crusading in the name of the Emperor.

Blood Angels - One of the first chapters/legions, pretty much space vampires. They drink blood, have fangs, etc. and have a genetic abnormality that causes them to go crazy/berserk.

Space Wolves - One of the first chapters/legions, more or less space vikings. Have a genetic abnormality that causes them to turn into power armored werewolves.

Grey Knights - A mysterious chapter created after the Heresy specifically to serve the Inquisiton. Have superior training to a normal marine and all sorts of built-in protections vs. daemons/the warp.

**BeefCakeSoup**

Eldar - Elves in space that live on large floating worlds called craftworlds.

Dark Eldar - Evil Dark Elves in space that live in a portal call the webway, within a massive city where bad stuff like murder, rape, torture etc happen for fun.

**Surtur**

The only 40k armies are: Space Marines, Blood Angels, Space Wolves and Grey Knights. There are two older armies, Dark Angels and Black Templar, but they're being written out.

**SwiftLord14**

How dare you make fun of the Tau like everyone else!!! I shake my head at you Nicholas! LOL fish communist...giggle hehe

**BrotherOmas**

Surtur wrote:The only 40k armies are: Space Marines, Blood Angels, Space Wolves and Grey Knights. There are two older armies, Dark Angels and Black Templar, but they're being written out.

Wait...What?! Dark angels are being written out?!

Tee hee...Fishy commies..

**Blood Lord Soldado**

Adiutrix wrote:
Eldar - Ninjas what do magic.

Dark Eldar - Perverted ninjas what do magic.

Tau - Master snipers, like to pew pew things from a long distance in the name of blue-skinned xenocommunism.

Sisters of Battle - Hot nuns in power armour shoot everything with fire in the name of burning HERESY HERESY HERESY HERESY.

Chaos Space Marines - Like space marines but with more feth.

QFT!

**Psienesis**

No, no... Fish Commies is unfair... so is Commie Fish.

Icthy Reds, maybe?

Pinko Xenos?

**pinoypower**

so tau are cominust fish
eldar are gay elves
dark eldar gay elves that dress in dark clothing
tyranids are big bugs
orks are big green guys who like war
space marines are stong guys in super spacesuits
imperial guard are humans sent into the battle field with a flashlight
chaos space marines are space marines in dark armor and grow horns and stuff.

did i get it right? i know i didn't mention them all and i don't mean to offend any other warhammer 40k army.

**Grey Templar**

Darn, someone ruined a perfectly good thread with the forbidden word.

**Melissia**

I would say that Space marines are closer to being essentially 300 (in spaaaaace!), including Greco-Roman pederasty stripped of sexual connotations as a form of reproduction.

**AchillesFTW**

Nah I think my review is better:

Space Marines: Think of Captain America, but bigger guns, more armour, and overall dicks to non-marines. The Elite of the Imperium

Imperial Guard: Used as meat-horde for their tanks and artillery. Longest ranged units in the game. Standing basic army of the Imperium

Sisters of Battle: Crazy Space-Nun fanatics who kill stuff, but mostly heretics and rogue psykers.

Grey Knights: Uber Space Marines, made to kill Daemons n the like, make other Marines look like sheep.

Chaos Space Marines: Space Marines who went rogue, mostly 10 millenia ago. They serve a pantheon of Gods based on the strongest emotions of living creatures.

**killykavekommando**

NO ONE MENTIONED THE JOKAERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Brother Coa**

pinoypower wrote:i know only allitle about any other warhammer army beside the tyranids so i think this is a way to get things straight about other armys background and hopefully before this thread dies i will know more about other armys.

**sarpedons-right-hand**

Yeah sorry, the Jokaero...... Think 'Clyde' from Any Which Way But Loose with a degree!

**Surtur**

I find it amusing that there hasn't been a single complete list of all armies.