<strong style="">Commit To:            [/b]Imperial Record GHT 21/2438                        

<strong style="">Commit To:[/b]               Imperial Reconnaissance Flagship [#342/403,221,004 fleet)

<strong style="">Input Date:            [/b]Circum 210938.M41

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            I have compiled these accounts on what went on during Champion Ianitus’s visit to the Bruise Legion Chapter of Space Marines’ battle barge.  I have used a servo-skull to create this third-person narrative (the servo skull imploded shortly after I viewed the video.  I can only think of how blasphemous this chapter of space marines are!  not painting enough . . .

                                                                                                The Emperor Protects,

                                                                                                Imperial Scribe Herr Mayad

As a Company Champion of the Adeptus Custodes emerged from the pod chute in the Bruise Legion fortress to inspect the new chapter, he realized and took note of the fact that the whole hulk was blue.  The only insignia imprinted on the gigantic hull were the chapter symbol, an Ultramarines "U" shape with a picture of an arm with a sore-looking bruise.  This was so unorthodox that the company champion, whose name was Ianitus, almost voxed his commander to get of the ship and declare the Bruise Legion heretics.  He changed his mind when he spotted a single Emperor aquila covering a hatch door.

He saw, as he stepped inside the monastery, that not only was athe outside of the

ship was blue, but also the inside.  The inside of the ship was so gloomy that Ianitus felt rather blue himself, and mused about the terrible tarot cards he had drawn this morning.

A servitor was working upon a box of Space Marines, its metal arms whirring, as the box was torn open and Space Marines were glued together.  Ianitus managed to catch sight of something that read "Use citadel color paints" as he was swept away by a talkative neophyte.

"Yes, sir," the scout was droning, "We use certified colors such as Citadel Midnight glue, and, er. . ."

"What is it?" asked Ianitus, pushing away a civilian who was trying to sell a paintbrush.
Said the neophyte, "Well, sir, I've been ordered not to tell you this, but as we are both dedicated servants of the Emperor, I might as well tell you: The Chapter also use non-orthodox paints- flat black and Liquitex Medium Viscosity Artist Acrylics Blue!"
The champion, who already was very angry about the Emperor's light failing him, very nearly voxxed the Imperial Class Sword Frigate ships surrounding the Bruise Legion hulk at that very moment to fire.

Rushing to the command cabin, Ianitus shouted out, "Bruise Legion of Michaelangelo Hideous Yomicus, I command you, by the order of the Emperor, Inquisition, Adeptus Mechanicus, Concilium Terra, Adeptus Astartes, Adeptus Sororites, Ordo Xenos, Ordo Malleus, Ordo Herecticus, Adeptus Custodes, and the Doomstaler Clan of the old United Staates of America, to paint at least 3 colors onto your soldiers!"

As Ianicus rushed into the cabin, the Lord Commander Yomacus stood up and said, "We, eh, as the Bruise Legion are incapable of painting with more than three colors because when we try it looks like the Imperium's Holy Emperor's feces."

"If you must, only paint with two colors, but paint them well!" Ianitus replied angrily.  He was betraying one of the Doomstalkerz' most important rules!

"But sir, do you know how bad servitor painters are?" whispered the terrified neophyte as

Ianitus left towards his ship, "I mean, look at this Marine one them finished a week ago."

Ianitus looked at the Marine the scout had pointed out; he could barely make it out because it was just as blue as the rest of the ship.  He could only see its red eyes.

"Comander Ianitus, I'm the first completed Bruise Marine, my name is Sergeant Lacwim." the blue Marine voxed to Ianitus.  The funny thing was, it was because the figure had no mouth.

"Before you start painting," Ianitus roared as he turned around, "Get some Simple Green and wipe that dude off!"

Yomicus, as it happened, became color-blind.  He believed the fortress was green and yellow, and it was actually one or two shades of blue.  He kept on painting new coats of "green" and "yellow" and would therefore gain the Emperor's trust by painting the colors of the Custodes, or at least one of them.

A year later, Ianitus returned. . .
"Hello, Sergeant Lacwim," Ianicus said, eying the bloated creature.  The man was completely blue, and even his eyes were not visible anymore.

"Sergeant, what happened to you?" Ianitus said to the bloated marine. "The Holy Emperor won't let us go on any Crusades because of your sucky paint jobs, so we shall sit here and get fat, unless you get a new coat of paint!"

Walking in the direction of the throne room, said the slightly annoyed champion, "I want to speak to Yomicus."

The sergeant grumbled and slowly stood up, his rusty metal parts creaking on their super glue."Right this way," wheezed Lacwim.

The disgruntled servant of the Emperor was led towards the gigantic throne room.  upon the black-and purple throne sat Yomicus, his blue face radiantly dripping with a new coat of blue.

Ianitus stood before the magnificent man and proclaimed, "Sire, I'm afraid to report that your army does not fit the requirements for army colors set by our emperor.  You are a heritic waiting to be purged!"

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