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"I know I should always face the blade away from me but I'm not that clumsy".

3 seconds later my hobby knife has embedded itself into my left index finger.

1 in every 2 kits results in bloodshed yet I still won't learn my lesson

Haven't done many stupid things (or so I hope), but:
-painting models too thick
-squeezing super glue tube = lovely protective layer over most of my right hand
-not spraying in a well-ventilated area

though my old manager has done worse:
-stabbing himself with clippers after a particularly large piece of plastic needed cutting off
-drinking his paint water (luckily it hadn't got anything in it, just tap water)
-dipping his paintbrush in the redshirt's tea by accident (he made him a replacement)

I have brushed plastics with varnish only to find that I had in fact been applying poly cement.
I didnt notice that the lid I took off had an integral brush nor the large letters proclaiming the products nature.

I wondered why they dried the way they did.

I still slice my fingers open - It never hurts until you see the blood everywhere - And as a protein its a bitch to clean off stuff you want to paint.

Well on top of the usual "Ow I cut myself" moments I have gotten bored and decided to remove a planters wart with my xacto knife and my hand drill (no more wart!) and things like glued my fingers together etc. My sister had her craft stuff laying out when she was modelling. She accidentally left her chapstick next to a gluestick..... Yeahhhhh you can guess what happened, Good thing for her(not for me) was that she didn't actually glue her lips shut. She caught her mistake after it got really sticky!

I've done most of the stuff others have posted thus far (hacking hands up, sticking bits of myself to bits of myself, drilling through things into my hand etc).

Top highlight of the standard injuries has been a 2 inch gash in my cheek ending just below my eye as a result of scratching my face with the hand holding the knife.

I do have one thats not appeared yet though, and coincidentally occurred last night. Its hot here at the minute and I don't have aircon in my place, so I was doing some modeling shirtless.

Uppon getting ready for bed I discovered a rock hard ball of greenstuff matted into my chest hair. Could have cut it out but decided to pull it off. Can't personally recommend using green stuff as a waxing agent, but its efficacy is unquestionable.

I'm going to keep the resulting green ball of fur as a pet.