Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 Eidolon wrote:
Present yourself well. Be an alpha male and have good social skills. When you first meet someone, treat that social interaction like a job interview. I am trying to think of a way to put this without sounding like a judgemental prick. If you are that stereotypical obese, smelly, awkward guy who plays games, people will just lump that in with 'more weird gak that guy does'. If you carry yourself well, if you are confident, and can play personal quirks off, 90% of the 'normal' population cant give 2 gaks. The other 10% dont like you anyways, and haters gonna hate. Have lots of friends who arent gamers, because a well rounded social life is something worth pursuing.

First, what do you mean by alpha male really? If that's the know-it-all boss type spewing one-liners, that's actualy something I try hard not to be despite strong tendencies. Sure the majority of women like it but doing things because it is what majority of women want/ desire/ expect is more a puberty thing than 40k imo and a sign of not only low or clouded intelect but also possibly soon to be broken moral compass.

Second, I just might have found the first reason to say I'm a nerd (40k, pc games, rpgs, ccgs are not, those are just a good idea to spend time and the culture might switch them to cool any time) that I might prefer talking to an stereotypical obese, awkward guy who plays games than anyone who treats the first talk (I'm assuming not at the proffesional level) with me like a job interview. Either I'm a nerd then or you transmutated your rather standard nerd into some kind of ultimate amway nerd, the type possible only in the country of the free and the brave I guess. Auto presentation and normality geek that's a new one really.

btw I'm not giving much weight into "nerd" term, I'm discussing it at the stereotyping level but after I heard there are "footbal geeks" as well I'm not sure how anyone can treat it serious anymore. One is more psychical gifted or oriented, the other is more intelectual and people have different levels of sensibility, that's it, I meet "nerdy" people in environments consider perfectly normal who are well respected there, comes from a fact that they were at the right place and time with their predispositions. As for ADD, bipolar, OCD, Aspergers etc those people obviosly seek something to keep their mind busy and that might be anything, tabletop games, drugs, TV or golf.

 Eidolon wrote:
Have other hobbies, do things other than gaming. It sets off a huge amount of warning lights in people if all you do is play games. If you work out, if you have a regular social life, if you work, etc etc, than its no big deal. Nobody cares that you have a nerdy hobby, but if thats your life, then its something that people will judge you for. Just be an all around excellent person. Dont judge other people for not having your hobbies. Often times nerds respond to people not sharing their interests in a negative fashion.

That instantly reminds me of a scene in Iron Man 2 where the main guy, already a playboy and millionare builds a quick particle accelerator at his place and you can observe his elaborate arm muscles in the process. I almost choked of laughter really.

Serious now, that's rare and hard and for most of general population you talk about unachievable, so reaching that high you might end up negativly judged, vilified etc even more than a helpless nerd. Just a hint at how humanity works.

 Eidolon wrote:
I guess the best way to put this is that there are 2 kinds of nerds. Neckbeards, and normal people with nerdy tendencies. Be the latter option here. I have shown up to tournaments off 3 hours and sleep and hungover due to too much partying the night before. Theres nothing wrong with this at all. I could care less if you spent your Friday night watching anime movies, and I think most people feel the same way.

My friend who fits every nerdy stereotype in the world including anime shows that 15 people total have ever seen loves to party, drink etc, btw If going to tournament is nerdy, isn't going there after 3 hours of sleep and hangovered even nerdier? I mean normal guy would just stay home and sleep or call his girlfriend to help survive, as would probably even a moderate nerd do.

 Eidolon wrote:
Here is, I guess, an anecdote relating to this subject. The fabled 'girl finding out' about miniatures moment. I was hanging out with a girl, and was driving her around when the subject of gaming came up. She mentioned her brother played magic the gathering, and I tried to play it off. "oh, isnt that like pokemon, I think I have heard of it before." Hour or so later, she asked me to put something in the trunk of my car for her. I open it up, and oops, theres 4000 points of 40k models sitting right there. I ended up explaining this by saying that it was something I did since I was 12. I enjoyed the intellectual challenge of playing, as well as having a hobby that was largely passive and doesnt have a risk of getting me in trouble, and explained the 'nerds vs neckbeards' thing. It also helps to be good at what you do. I was making enough money off tournament winnings that I basically paid nothing for entry fee, gas, and food to go play. When you can say you got $500 of models for a total $90 investment, it looks good. It was never an issue. But, I think, if I had shown up that night wearing an ork t shirt and talking about my awesome grey knights, she probably wouldnt have called me back.

What's wrong with supposed ork tshirt, as auto irony or a big "don't like it, f**k off" it would be imo better than straight lies that you don't know what mtg is, finding elaborate excuses for playing 40k or pointing the other players as "they're pathetic, not me". If you speak to a standard bum he has always an example of and embarrasing story about someone who is in currently a worse alcoholic than him btw.

 Eidolon wrote:
You also have to hit a point where you are comfortable with yourself, and know that you are awesome. Right now I am sitting on my balcony in China, 12,000 miles from home. I am wearing a brooks brothers sweater, khaki pants, and smoking a cigar. If anyone has an issue with me playing with plastic man dollies, they can feth right off, because I am awesome.

And thats my 2 cents.

I know only one person smoking a cigar and he is actualy the universaly hated and I don't mean nerds I mean general population. He thinks he's awesome for sure, takes one look at him to know. Not that you are like that, I don't know, just saying.

Fortunately, being just 5'4", quite underweight, bleached hair, and dressing in mostly three piece suits or chinos and tweed, I tend to get away with the eccentric young man who talks too fast, works too hard and has many strange hobbies that can be over looked, 40k being one of them.
A friend of mine, who is covered in tattoos, and is very stereotypically 'metal' just passes it off as "it's a 'goff' thing"

Whoever said show them page 5 has a point.

Also, if people are making fun of you for your hobby, they tend to be one of two groups:

1. Friends who are just giving you crap

2. holes who don't deserve your attention


And to the person who said that their school made fun of them for not having a hobby involving drugs/smoking, they sound like donkey-caves-then again, you're not into drugs, so chances are you won't be ing a dealer to pay for your hobby