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"Ready, Freddy?"

"Let's do the job, Bob."







"Isn't there like ... Ashes to Ashes, some kind of eulogy or such?"





"Naw more like, no more push button army for a bunch of wannabe, no talent. 40k hacks."





"I for one am going to be glad that we won't be working for these flits anymore."




"No kiddin'. No more being summoned and bursting out of scrawny elf-flesh, especially when their wraithbone undies sometimes don't tear."





"lolwut? Huh? What do you mean, Fred?"



"Wraithbone undies. They don't tear or break, so the last time I got summoned, well, I mean, I've had some tight leathers on before, but nothing like that. I ended up as green as you."





"I so don't need to hear about your social life."




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In memorium: April 2015
RIP - Energy Shield Serpent Spam

Love the comic, first time reader but am i glad i found it!

I gotta pay more attention to the background, i.e. the box of Altoids. Then again, players might need subtle reminders to smell good, huh?

 Brothererekose wrote:
I gotta pay more attention to the background, i.e. the box of Altoids. Then again, players might need subtle reminders to smell good, huh?

It was mentioned he loves Altoids beforehand.

"Okay, this new codex can't be as bad as the fifth edition Grey Knights. Right?"




"S'Right."
"Let's kick some elvish booty."

" ... still have night mares about Psyfile-man Dreads ... "





"I think if we get Mitch, and gang up on the WraithKnight we can --"




Sanctify! Range-D! Witchblade!


"What the hell?"
"How are we already sidelined?"



"Promotion and better toys, bitches!"

And we're back.

Poor Bob and Fred, getting smacked around by silly space elves.

And always nice to play against a player who smells minty fresh

"Oh, lookit, Uncle Fred. Ruins! What was this place?"
"Looks like battles were fought here!"



"Yes, wee ones. Great battles of ideas. Once upon a time -- "






"Uncle Fred story time!"
"YAY!"






" -- this was called a forum. Hundreds of speakers could come here and speak their minds."






"Speaking battles?!"
"I heard they were called flame-wars."
"Flames of War?"
"That was something else."



"A great place a forum is. Many things, both great and small could learned. People could argue their point of view and how they thought how wars and battles should be fought. "




"What if they were idiots?"
"Sounds great!"
"Sounds like it could be abused too!"





"Yes, it could. See, there was once a speaker, who spoke and spoke and spoke. He spoke on any and every topic. "
"He musta been wise!"
"Naw, the more you speak, there is less substance to what you say."
"Ooh, yeah, like those spaghetti westerns. That guy didn't say much, but when he did ... "
"It was with a gun."
"Yes, very wise, young Khornling. He spoke so often that he forgot that he'd said one thing and eventually said the opposite, contradicting himself. He talked about things he knew little about. Oh, he had an opinion about things - - "





" - - Like tau having opinions on how to fight in assault?"
"Isn't that a kind of fool?"



"He claimed once that others could not comment on, well, let's say something artistic, needing skill with carving and painting ... like sculpture."
"Like statues?"
"Yes. These ruins once had mighty statues of gods and warriors, sculpted with muscles and fierce gazes and terrifying weapons. This speaker once said that if you were not a sculptor, you should not talk about how to make one, or paint it, or appreciate it."


"Well, yeah, if you're not an expert or even experienced in the subject, he was right. I mean, I don't expect either of you boys to understand ... you know, girl stuff."
"Right. We have no weight, authority or credence talking about girl stuff like ... shopping or meeting in a big group and socializing and ... "
"Make up?"
"You've even *heard* of make up?"
"You thought I was gonna say 'boobs', huh?"
"What? No, I only care about blood ... what are 'boobs' ? "

"Then when he argued about going to great wars, massive planetary scale wars - - "







"- - Called GTs! Right! Grand Thrashings!?"

"That's right."

"Or RTTs, Really Tremendous Tussles?"



"Right. Well, this speaker would never admit to having gone to or would say which Grand Thrashing or Really Tremendous Tussle he had attended. But he had a great many things to say about how Grand Trashings and Really Tremendous Tussles were to be held."




"You mean, he talked about how they were to run. But somehow, he never went to one?"



"He might have, but never admitted it."
"Lame."
"So, the speaker was ignored by all. One by one, backs were turned, and deaf ears were turned on - - "

" - - Wouldn't ears turn off?"
" - - the speaker spoke and spoke, but no one would listen. After a while, no one even saw or heard him at all."




"Let's go. There's some eldar to try to beat."


"It was that nosferatu1001 guy, right?"
"No, he just stuck to arguing Battle Law. Okay enough for nurgle to touch."
"Yay!"


"Still, Uncle Fred, your stories scare me in no way that the Great Four ever could."


"Sometimes, wee ones, you need to know about the truer horrors of our world, our battle-world, more so than your own gods."

Lol.

Really tremendous tussles, love it

Surely any similarity in real life is just a coincidence right?

 ninjafiredragon wrote:
Surely any similarity in real life is just a coincidence right?

Uncle Fred just tells scary stories. Although, I think you're referring to something like this:

"All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

I'll prolly work that into the first post.

Thanks, nfd!

"Hi folks. Fred, we need to 'write' a caption for the next picture."







"How about, 'Bring the cheese?' "





" 'Ride the bandwagon? ' "






"Oh, I know. Let's quote somebody cool. That's always good."
"Got one."
"Who and what is the quote?"







"Ultron. 'Oh for god's sake!' "

"Hi, folks. Bob here. Despite the Chicken Littles running around, or more accurately, posting RageQuit propaganda, reacting to the newest Eldar codex and Space Marine formations that are supposed to have broken our game ... well. "




"Yeah. WargamesCon and Bay Area Open GTs have come and gone. And, if we've done our 'Net Search correctly, there was no Skyhammer in the top 8 at either event, and one Eldar Tau on the top at BAO."



"Both events won by a daemon army."
"Do we want to mention by the same, bad assed player? PJ something?"
"It'd make no difference, the Internet believes that a list will win you a GT. Not your generaling skills."




"That said ... yep, the Sky is still there."

Nice. Very nice.

"The sky is still there"

Bought a big smile to my face, nice episode

Just discovered this today and binged the whole thing. Shame on you for hopping on the Skyhammer bandwagon Especially when you have eldar and chaos daemons at your disposal! J/k

Oddly enough, I actually just picked up that same eldar jetbike box that you had in the one comic. Just clipped it out a couple days ago need to get it built still. I agree that Vypers are... Sub-optimal >_>

Anyways, keep the comics coming! I love em, Bob & Fred are the best haha!

"Arrriiiisse! Mighty warriors! The Emperor calls you! Awake!"

"What the --? Do you get what they're doin'? I thought dreads were long term museum pieces since sixth edition brought in Hull Points. Heh, that was a good day. Shutting down Grey Knight psy-fileman dreads."
*shudder*





"Yeah, that was a lovely ending to a broken unit."
*shudder*
"I am pretty sure the muhreens are putting dreads back into their lists. Maybe even tourney lists."

"GW did somethin', huh?"

"Yeah, they're getting back into the FAQ business. They're using Zuckerberg's 'site."

"Sorry, I don't check any website specifically. I just go with what I hear. Like Donald Trump."

. . .
. . .

"They're using FB for submitting Qs."


"Awake! Arise, brothers! Bring glory to our chapter again! Smite our enemies! Crush the traitors!"

"The first is awake! Mighty brother, report to the landing pad!"
"Pff. Stupid, no-dialogue, uncredited cameo. No work since page one .... "





"Then they post a 'first draft' of the answers for community review. Some answers are good ones, many are RB contradictory head scratchers and some that made me whimper. Like 'do bolt pistols count as a close-combat weapon? ' "

"C'mon, Bob. Never underestimate the power of stupidity."


"Brother Robert! Armed with assault cannon and mighty fist! Are you ready --"





"Honestly, this game should be called Retcon 3."

"Huh?"

"Every three years, the rules change to put more models on the table."

"Well, back on the table. Maybe call it Hollywood 40k Squares?
. . .
You know, giving retread has-beens another chance --"

"Yeah, I got it. Now you're just shownin' your age, Fred."

. . .
. . .

"Brother Captain? Brother Frederick's left u-joint is missing a lynch pin. Where are the damned servitors?"




"Hey, did you just catch something about their names?"

"No."

"Awright. Serpent down, we've got center table. So, King of the Hill tertiary coming up! Okay, Fred. It's just a few spiders. I know you're not worried with that high init, right?"

"S'right."







"A five pack for me, Bob. I got this."

"Take that!" poke! poke!
"Erf, crap. I smack a couple down and they bounce out, shoot me and Hammer of Wra-- Ooof!"
poke! "Iron Resolve, punk!" poke!





bamf!
"Slippery little buggers."
bamf!
"Take that!" poke! poke!
"Hold still you little ... !"
bamf!
bamf!
scratch-poke! poke! "Hit and Run! Hah!"






"Oh, man. Cue the Monty Python guys!"
"They're everywhere!!"
"Take that!" poke! poke!





"They're stuck in my teef!"
"Take that!" poke! poke! scratch!





poke! poke! "You smell!"
"What's that, Fred? I can't hear you! - Spiders in my ears ... "
poke! "You know what Iron Resolve really means? You can't break us because we're already broken!" prod!





prod! scratch! poke!

I adore this series. Please never stop!

Thats a good covering of Spiders... lucky the lads don't have Arachnophobia!

Great work as usual

Thanks freytag and mad.

An alternate punchline for those who remember Ben Edlund's The Tick:

"HEDGE !!!!"

"By Slaanseh's pierced teats! Respect!"







"Yeah, Age of Siggy is lookin' good. I'm ready to move back into management."
"Yeah, Bob. Playin' second fiddle to bigger, badder models sucked."







"Heh, poor Mitch was always getting looked over for those new Blood Thirsties."






"Greater Ds back in the House!"







"We get ta be on battle field."






"Yeah, back to getting some exercise."
"Been a couch potato for too long."
"You wouldn't think a burning hellspawn would get lazy and fat, but Billy and me got love handles just floatin' around the lava pools."






"Yay! We're back on payroll and slated for primer and paint!"
"Purple?"
"Yes, little ones. Inks and washes!"
"SQUEeeeeee!"

Yes.

Good to see them workin' again, can't wait to see what comes about.

"With the sun setting on seventh edition, and the new dawn of eighth - -"

"Oh, shut it with the newsman's cheap attempt at prose."

"Right. Lotsa meta shifting being hinted at, and it wouldn't be Bob and Fred without some pre-release jocularity."

"Some broad category leaks from a greatly involved - - ."

(and much appreciated GW )

" - - Games Workshop means some fundamental units get interviewed. We'll ask how they feel about the possible changes and what they think it willl mean from here forward."

"Like 'news' on Fox or CNN."






"Commissar?"



"What ought to be far more ubiquitous on the playing tables than the Adeptus Astartes, just like the actual galaxy of 40k ... will be guardsmen. YES! The glorious Astra Militarum will bring the humble lasgun! back to the fore of offensive consideration."




"Wound anything on a six sounds nice for you ground pounders."

"No more being mere 'troop' tax for Leman Russ Executioner tanks nor proxied Vendettas sporting Vulture gatling cannons- - "

"Yeah, okay, Fred?"






"Yeah, Bob. Here's some members of 40k, not units, actually but ...."

Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Waaah!
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Sniff, sniffle, hiccup
"Urp. Imean, therez, I wuz. TOP o' the world! Dual Shathack WreathKnit shroudy cannons and then! And then? ... Wherewuzz I?"
*whimper*
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Eeeee!
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.



"I can't add anything from here, Bob."






"Some good news, from some old favorites."


"Back and as bad as Richard Nixon!"
"Are we trying to work in a political joke? Like tying Trump to Nixon? Best just to stick to 40k, right, Gladius?"
"Righton! Betrayal! We're back and hard to get rid of! No more spectacular check outs from filthy meltas. We don't need any handicap parking - - "
"Okay, Glad, I got this. Thanks, Bob. Yeah, out of boxes and back to playing tables."



"Except for those of us so disregarded that we got fobbed off to the kiddie table and painted by a four year old."






Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.
Waaah!
Boo, hoohoo. Boo, hoohoo.





"And some really good news. We'll see Chaos marines again."
"Too long in coming."






"Blood for the - -"
"Shut up. One of our buddies got some AoS conversion and serves as some buffing unit for fantasy daemon army. What he said though, was the hand to hand was great and that we can wake up, get out, and get to killing again!"
"Five stinking years of foam nap!
"Yeah! Yeah! Yoo Hoo! Argh! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood! Blood!"
"Chaos for the Win!!!"





"You kiddies wanna talk Chaos?"
"For the Win? How about for the power?!?"



"Terrible punchline, Lord of some dirt water, back planet."
"Up yours, Nigel."

Welcome back Fred and Bob!

That tank... I'm not sure if it has been painted by a four year old or a representative of slaneesh has just tried to represent chaos with the lesser colours of the mortal realm.

Public Service announcement:

"If the Adeptus Mechanicus player mentions 'canticles', you can tell him/her that there is now a topical cream for that."



"Bob and I have been busy since the new edition. And Bob got a promotion with the Codex: DG, so you'll have to wait for another episode of QDP, B&F."

Bob and Fred are back! Yay!

"Look! It's Sammy the Dark Angel LandSpeeder character! Shoot, my fellow eldar! Shoot! I think he's the Warlord!"




"Nope! So-not sorry, dork rippers! I'm a character and you can't target me!"

"What? We *see* you! You're a 8 meter long, no AQMD exhaust jet powered hovercraft! We can damn well target you! You're as loud as a whole chapter of Harlie-Davidson riders on a Sunday cruise. We could target you blind folded!"







"Eighth edition is a really great game, possibly 40k's best version. But you know what, you emo-attitude, long ears? I might be eight meters long, but eight is the magic number ... for wounds! That's the stupid game mechanic and we're exploiting it! There are scouts in the ruin in front of me! Ha! hahahahaha!"







"Tee hee! Hee, heeheeheeheeheehee!!"



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

... On another battle field ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



"Careful, Bob, las cannons gunning for your stinky butt."
"What? Me worry?"








"Shoot the daemon! What? My cannon misfired! Huh!?"
"Mine, too!"
"I'm trying brother! But for some reason we're unable to pull the trigger!"
"Treacherous sorcery!"







"No. Just an exploitation of a rule. Right little turdlings?"
"Right on, boss!" fffrrrt! flab! frrrt.






"Smite, time, Bob?"
"You bet, Fred."







"How can we not shoot that enormous blight of existence? He's a 2 story building!"
"A ton of daemon, ugly - "
"HEY!"
"9 meters tall, wings like billboards, and we can't shoot him? The Emperor has forsaken his good senses!"