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This isn't an easy answer.
First and foremost, if your local judges want to rule that way there is nothing stopping them from doing otherwise, so you'll just have to suck it up.
The rules for the Meiotic Spore between IA4 and IAA are really rather different, so it depends on which rules you are using. All future IA books will use the Apoclaypse rules for their big creatures, so it is kind of clear that IAA is (in many ways) the replacement of the rules found in IA4.
In IAA they aren't 0-1, but you only get one per FA choice, so no more 1-3 as a single choice.
As for forcing players to pick a clear space on the table it really comes down to how people interpret the Deep Strike rules which essentially require you to place a model "on the table". Some players interpret that term more literally and require the model to actually be placed on the table (although they usually also allow the model to be placed on terrain as if that is "the table" too), while others interpret that to mean any spot on the table, not literally placed on the table.
I know that last year at Adepticon we were able to contact both Warwick (IA author) and Phil Kelly (Tyranid author) and they both confirmed that their intent was for regular Spore Mines and Meiotic mines to be able to land directly onto enemy units. Obviously this is just hearsay at this point (although we did have the emails posted somewhere), but it gives you some extra knowledge.
Lastly, the smaller mines are placed where the big model was removed. If you're using the IA4 FAQ from the FW website then he indicates that the smaller spores don't become "active" until the start of the Tyranid player's next turn.
If you're using the APOC rules (without the IA4 FAQ) I would play that indeed the small mines will immediately detonate (at least at the end of the phase, as the codex commands) if the Meiotic fails to kill the model it lands on.
For fun, you can check out the Adepticon FAQ I just helped put out to see how we ruled on the matter (which is, of course entirely unofficial).
Good luck!
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