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Shaking his head in disgust Rumulus stalks out of the command bunker and mounts Bloodmaw, "I am going to assault the Tyranids base, if anyone wishes to join me, you know where i will be, Pro totus abbus!" with those final words the haze of the teleporter surrounds him and he is thrown once more through the warp. emerging in the wastelands in front of the tyranid bio spires the sight in front of him shocks him to the core, never before had he seen so many Tyranids in one place, and straight after their defeat at the hands of chaos too. "this is it old boy, one last charge for the black wolf of Fenris, shall we dance once more my friend?"

The wolf growls a strong affirmative and then rockets down the slope Romulus draws Winterfang and his Stormshield, powering them up in one swift movement just as he reaches the enemies lines, immediatly he is embroiled in seething hordes of Horrmagaunts, bitterly slashing his way through the masses he spies a massive tyrant at the foot of one of the spires, bellowing a furious warcry that skitters the remaining gaunts he charges forwards feeling the embrace of the Canis helix his body ripples and morphes as he leaps of Bloodmaw's back onto the tyrants chest digging his Frost blade deep into one of his shoulders. Bloodmaw leaps with him slamming the tyrant lower and crushig one of its legs in his massive steel jaws.

The murderfex relays the psychic power generated by the hive tyrant through to the portal, trying to strip the locks placed upon it. Having been shot squarely, it turns and charges it's bio plasma firing it full force at the trajectory of the shot that hit it. The bio-plasma blast would at best take one or two casualties but was fired mainly to disrupt their firing position. Using this window of opportunity, it doubles it's efforts to break the seal on the portal and egress through it

Using his legs Bar'goth kicks the tyrant away and then stops and grimaces at him. Bar'goth gestures to the walls where genestealers are scaling down. He gestures all around the lone space marine to the masses of Tyranid forms. "Do you have a death wish?", he snarls. "well I hope you like what I give you" and then through the hive mind barks at all the nearby tyranids. "Kill him." Lictors, genestealer, hormagaunts, termaguants, gargoyles rippers and all other types of monstrosities descend on Romulus. Several larger Bioforms lurk in the background such as warriors and even a few carnifexes. Now ranked by a couple of Tyrant gaurd, bar'goth continues his psychic chaneling.

Calmly eviscerating the Tyrant there he drops onto Blood's back still moving forwards his body is still rippling with the Canis Helix and his vision shifts between the auto senses of his helmet and the infra red vision that the gene imparts, feeling the blood rage inside him he charges forward into the fray. Quickly swamped by the Tyranid masses he cuts his way through them, by the time he has cleared a space around himself Winterfang is smoking and his shield has arcs of lightening spraying from its surface decimating the remains of the beasts stuck to its surface. He is bleeding from several small wounds on his face and chest. Seeing the tyrannofex steaming towards him firing blasts from its rupture cannon he grins, finally a proper fight.

Dismonting from Blood he cuts down a few more gaunts and yells in Bloods ear "go for it my boy!"

Blood teleports directly into the face of the monstrosity, landing on the front of the massive cannon dragging it down to the ground. Tearing at it he rips it to shreds disabling the massive weapon.

Close on his heels Romulus leaps up onto the face of the beast, using his sword as a climing aid he swiftly scales its massive hide, he deftly avoids the bursts of flesborer microbeasts and catching the rest of them on his shield. Summiting the peak of the beasts back he digs Winterfang into its side and drags down on it putting his whole considerable bulk behind the weapon and releasing his foothold on the beast.

In this fashion he drags his blade down one massive flank of the beasts body tearing open a massive rent in its flesh and armoured chitin.

The screams of rage and pain form the creature dont even phase Bloodmaw as he systematically rips the front of the creature to shreds, carving great bloody furrows of its body with his claws and tearing chunks of its armour of with his teeth.

Soon the beast succumbs to the weight and pain of the great Thunderwolfs assault, and sinks to the ground in a great bloody heap.

Mounting Bloodmaw again Romulus charges once more into the fray seeking more victims of his sword.

please may we have a GM to sort this out.

(ooc) what are you on about????

(I CBF to know what's going on here )

idk either im just having a scrap with a bunch of nids

oh yeah nothing big really he ONLY teleported into the nid base by himself and thanks to hes characters amazing epiness(oh it burns) he is proceding to lay waste to it. well apparently. W...T...F...?

(lex article states: Imperial teleporters are massive devices built into spacecraft and buildings, and require considerable power supplies. The military use of teleporters is to place combat squads directly into battle from ships in orbit. Safety devices built into the teleporter prevent the possibility of squads fatally materializing into solid matter)
How you're able to teleport at will is beyond me

Not laying waste, just living up to the epicness of the games workshop fluff, im trying to make a point here, when an rp is run like this players need to activly counter each other otherwise battles tend to appear rather one sided. (And btw my char doesnt care if he dies remember, he longs for a glorius death in battle, and to do this he has to fight)

I am currently writing an episode of Idiot wars. please hold the phone.

(just something to make up for the fact i cant be bothered travelling all the time and that he doesnt have a squad and hes gonna die soon so that i can keep the chaos guys goin, ill make a chaos dude... oops did that slip out?)

I have comprised all the episodes of Idiot Wars up to this point, remastered and edited to give the best possible grammar!

Episode 1

blood reaper wrote: Araghist strikecruiser fell from the skies burning clouds of flies swarmed around the ship as it crashed into the Tau controlled camp , Plague marines and other mutated beasts along side Plague bearers and Vermin kin. Araghist charged into the nearest Tau troops screaming for Syrath!

Idiot Wars, Episode 1, Attack of the Space Marines

The Chaos marine troops are drastically outnumbered. They are pushed back and after the battle is over, only one squad is left. The tau squad is predominantly intact. What do you do with your pitifully small amount of your army?

This proves that base attacking a tau army as the first thing you do on arrival is NOT a good idea.


But this is only the start. The incompetence of some idiots will be proved in Episode 2, the chaos marines strike back
Episode 2 coming soon

Episode 2

undivided wrote: Deep Strike into the ethereal council chambers with my terminators. The rest of my warriors are ready for siege just outside the camp. Death to the Tau!


What you have done is not my fault. Read previous posts to see what happens next.
Scrap that, I’ll tell you anyway.

Idiot Wars, Episode 2, The Chaos Marines Strike Back.

Your terminators teleport into the council chambers to find.......no-one. A sign on the door explains everything--- Out for lunch-back later---.

The tau guarding the room notice your arrival. Your terminators are shredded in a volley of rail rifle shots.


Yes, they strike back, and die a miserable death.
This has happened before. Don't say I didn't warn you.

You may have to wait a while for the next episode. It depends when someone does something really stupid.

Episode 3

Blood reaper wrote: Well if where going to be like that say hello to the giant warp gate, and who said this was my main base.

Activate self destruct! The explosion will cause much damage

Araghaist teleports back to his cruiser "The Pilliger". He orders an orbital bombardment on the Ultra\Tau base and with mine gone why not raze the planet ha ha ha, But the fun would end wouldn’t it Ill just Disintivaporate your base! And if that don't work all remaining forces attack! Burn and destroy the Emperors lackeys and the false corpse god!

Idiot Wars, Episode 3, A New Flop,

Unfortunately for you, a large chunk of the teleport module was knocked out during the artificial earthquake. The teleporter teleports you, but it accidentally teleports your squad of marines as well, and it teleports you to the northern magnetic pole which is rather too warm and bright for you.
The communications are not working either and the orbital bombardment is not ordered.

Episode 4

Shas'ui T'au Kais wrote: OK then that was unexpected but wahoo I am a commander!!! OK I assume I get a good battlesuit then, if so I will send a transmission asking for my battlesuit, ok now time for a bit of payback, but I will make it slow, first off it is a horde isn’t it, then this will take us a long time and we could die. So here’s a solution, I advise we retreat for a while and create a camp that we can get supplies to, then once we have enough forces and supplies, attack the Necrons. Guys do you think it is a good idea?

Idiot Wars episode 4, Return of the Dipsh*t
The retreating tau are cut down by the advancing necrons. Only a few devilfish and three squads of fire warriors are left, along with Shas'kais, Shas'davre and Shas'dern. However, the Ultramarines are still in the battle, orbital strikes landing every few seconds, but they seem to be fighting a losing battle, a final push would see them defeated.

I'm quite sorry for doing this, I did warn you and unfortunately, Ledabot was already leaning towards this to happen, but it's that time again.

Episode 5
Idiot Wars part: Too many to count, Revenge of the 'Nid.
The Mawlocs entered into the courtyard of the Raven's fortress to find absolutely nothing but the large calibre guns staring them in the face.
Meanwhile, hearing the sounds of death and explosions inside, as the Carnifexes near the walls the void shield activated earlier slam them in the face, leaving them confused. As the gargoyles and harpies attempt to rip the empty decoy guns, they are gunned down by Chaos marines awaiting them. Several genestealers and warriors manage to slip past the void shield after its reactivation. They are flamed and butchered by the Heavy weapon turrets' kill zone. Only small forces of the Great Devourer were lost. The rest of the xenos watch through the Invisible field as their brethren are ripped to shreds by the forces of Chaos.


And now the latest edition…..
Episode 6
Idiot Wars Episode 6, The Fainting Fenrus
Suddenly, the earth begins to shake. A ravener rips up from underground. You try to teleport but as you try to enter the warp, you find yourself trapped. A terrible voice appears in you mind. “get ready to die” A zythethrope appears floating from behind a structure. And floats towards you. You try to raise you arms to swing your weapon but it is then that the ravener’s mouth griping into Bloods body drags him down into the ground. You let out a yell as the very angry Bar’ Goth descends on you. Completely at his mercy you only have seconds to react.
At this point I was doubtful weather to let you live, but since you don’t mind.
The great bladed limbs of Bar’ Goth rip at you sides as he slowly eats you.
And that boys and girls is why we don’t play with giant hungry insects.

Woohoo giant hungry insects 1... randomn dog men nil

Out of character wrote:
And the first one finally falls. Sorry, Marta.

(now i have to look up what a zythethrope is
lol i just did they don't exist or are something in fanfic.
Did you mean zoanthrope? or is this something in a BL release i haven't gotten to?? *brainhurt*)

Romulus doesnt have a ranged weapon, he calmly goes to his death the second the teleporter fails, and anyhoo, he wouldnt have activated in the first place, he would have just allowed the ravener to kill him, anyhoo the stasis bomb in Bloods chassis detonates locking himself and bargoth together for eternity, (i take aleaf out of lukas's book ) New char evaelc

(You made no mention of this in your wargear, i don't see how suddenly you have wired yourself to blow. this is a sad attempt to mary sue your way to victory. play fair or opt out)

Mukkin'About wrote:(Now I have to look up what a zythethrope is
Lol I just did they don't exist or are something in fanfic.
Did you mean zoanthrope? Or is this something in a BL release I haven't gotten to?? *brainhurt*)

Yes. our accent effects our spelling. Woop!


and im sorry muderfix but bad news.

The portal explodes (my dice rolled a 1 ) sending stone everyware. you are throwen back into the unprepared tau squaching the first two.
your reinforcements are still imbound.

the remaining tau attempt to kill you while you are in the stunned state but you are still able to deflect some. you are in dire strights and you head for the large hole in the far wall created by the explosion.
You can do anything except attempt to assult the tau within reason.

Tyranic Marta wrote:Name: Romulus Greythroat

Full Name: Romulus Aredic Greythroat

Appearance: Classic Space wolf Lone wolf, covered in armour and totems af fenris sporting the emblem of the Black Wolf of winter symbolizing the cold reality of life and the brutality of death. His Frost sword never stops growling its lament of doom and his thundershield never stops crackling.


History: He has raged across the battlefields of the 41st millenium hoping for the glorious death in battle that has awaited him these long years, he avenged the former members of his thunderwolf cavalry pack along time ago and rides into battle astride his massive thunderwolf and old friend: Bloodmaw. His pack was decimated by fanatic worshipers of slaanesh when they detonated a massive explosive as his pack cut through them, only he survived and he and his cybernetically repaired friend have become almost a legend in that noone can kill them, his hands brought down a bio titan of the tyranid horde as it was approching a settlement of the imperium and then he dissapeared, the near victems of the monstrosity unable to laud their saviour, he now travels in a borrowed transporter of his Ordo Malleus allies strapped into the core of Bloodmaws robotic frame he dances a bloody crusade across the galaxy.

Personality: A true veteran of battle who can ignore the extremes of emotion and can suppress the russ gene in his blood. He has forsaken the usual spacewolf way of fighting alone and attaches himself to any squad in combat with a foe, eager to reap his blood toll. Laughs easiy and quick to joke but his mind never stops thinking.

Wargear: Frost Axe, Stormshield and his mount Bloodmaw

hmm. yup. soz mate

(awe shpadoinkle!)
The Murderfex retreats towards the stone wall. as one of the piranhas swoops overhead, The 'Fex fires it's flesh hooks into it and reels it in close enough to impale it and throw it to the ground. The piranha's explosion obscures the retreat of the hulking beast. It dashes off further into the forest, staying in thick wooded areas and avoiding clearings. Perhaps it failed it's egress through the webway, but it had certainly denied the access of any other race! It's bearings somewhat lost, the Murderfex tries to link with the Tyrant and runs towards the base. If it is to attempt any assault it certainly cannot be caught alone again!

Mukkin'About wrote:(awe shpadoinkle!)
The Murderfex retreats towards the stone wall. as one of the piranhas swoops overhead, The 'Fex fires it's flesh hooks into it and reels it in close enough to impale it and throw it to the ground. The piranha's explosion obscures the retreat of the hulking beast. It dashes off further into the forest, staying in thick wooded areas and avoiding clearings. Perhaps it failed it's egress through the webway, but it had certainly denied the access of any other race! It's bearings somewhat lost, the Murderfex tries to link with the Tyrant and runs towards the base. If it is to attempt any assault it certainly cannot be caught alone again!

You arive at your base to find piles of dead nids and you are aprocehed by Bar' Goth. "It was the wild one that did this. It took out many of our gaunts before I ate him. NUM NUM NUM"

have to go to bed. good morning and good night

Um m8 can you give me my options again pls?

Um m8 can you give me my options again pls?

Shas'ui T'au Kais wrote:Um m8 can you give me my options again pls?

Shocked to see two of your me get squished, you fire at the muderfix. It gets up and runs into the forest shooting bioplasma behind it. you just manage to dodge it and sprint after the massive creature. You see a devilfish coming into land in front of you. "get in ser!" If you want to get that beast you will need to go a bit faster!"
"Well were is he" you shout back.
"He's a smart one sr. He is either out of range, real undercover, or both! We are picking up a real swarm of miggies (gaunts) though! you might want to pick up your friends or they will get NUM NUM NUM"
Your options are:
1. pick up the remainder of your squad
a. return to base.
b. travel in a direction (please specify. the mudefix went south)
2. leave the squad and do either a or b
3. Get back out of the fish and walk off by yourself.

1b South, in the direction of the Murdafex

what are my options

Having reached the base again, the Murderfex retreats into a large mycetic spore. It is covered in wounds from it's various encounters, it slumps to the floor, and leaves it's mouth ajar. Engorged rippers cascade over it's body, depositing biomass and secreting enzymes to seal and repair it's wounds and rebuild it's carapace. The murderfex is aware that his previous attackers would surely be following it's trail, but would they pursue it right into the heart of the beast? The murderfex knows that the other races will vie for the destruction of the tyranid threat at one point or another. Unless it is fully prepared for another onslaught it will be destroyed and the chain of command amongst the lesser tyranidia will be sorely disrupted.

Shas'ui T'au Kais wrote:1b South, in the direction of the Murdafex

you follow the path of the muderfix south. you come out onto a barran wasteland. this is shorely the work of the tyranids. To the east of you, you can see the faint signs of movement.
Over the radio you report you findings "this is O'Kais. We have our sights on the tryanids main base. here are the cordanates."
"copy that sir," you here coming back to you. "we will send out a detachment"

you are in a position to attack the enemy teranid base. btw. They know your there and you are in a devilfish.
you have a free action

Vulkan_He'stan wrote:what are my options

your men are scard and feel abandond by there hero. you are in the poo. how bout you call down some guys from the ships in orbit?
you have a free action.

Mukkin'About wrote:Having reached the base again, the Murderfex retreats into a large mycetic spore. It is covered in wounds from it's various encounters, it slumps to the floor, and leaves it's mouth ajar. Engorged rippers cascade over it's body, depositing biomass and secreting enzymes to seal and repair it's wounds and rebuild it's carapace. The murderfex is aware that his previous attackers would surely be following it's trail, but would they pursue it right into the heart of the beast? The murderfex knows that the other races will vie for the destruction of the tyranid threat at one point or another. Unless it is fully prepared for another onslaught it will be destroyed and the chain of command amongst the lesser tyranidia will be sorely disrupted.

remember that Bar' Goth is of higher rank than you. I recomend that nid players construct some fortifications or get ready to move house. You could try and contact a hive fleet in space. they would take ages to arrive.
You have a free action.