There are three things to remember regarding your
HQ when playing Black Templars:
First, you are automatically dumping 100-140 points into an extra commander, which means you're cut for space on frills under the 1500 Points level.
Second, your troops MUST have Chaplains in order to effectively fight, as well as make it into close combat.
Third, if you plan on taking a Force Commander, never, EVER, take a Castellan.
BT rely much more heavily on their commander's Rites of Battle Leadership ability, due to the lack of Veteran Sergeants, and with the -1 Target Priority modifier, this makes the few Lascannon units you'll field about as useful as Guardsmen when it comes to precision fire. Do yourself a favor and dish out the 15 extra points to get the third wound and universal Ld10 across the board.
All that said, I think we should take a look at your
HQ section:
HQ: Master of Sanctity : Terminator Armor: Crozius Arcanum/Storm Bolter : 140 pts
HQ: Emperor's Champion : Vow - Uphold the honor : 100 pts
The Champ is fine, though I'd really recommend taking Abhor the Witch for an extra 10 points. It's advantages are obvious, and with no anti-psyker abilities in your army, it is crucial in competitive games.
The Master of Sanctity is somewhat misplaced. In Terminator Armor, I only see him hanging out with one of the Terminator Squads. This is a waste of his Fearless and Unmatched Zeal special rules. Termies are already Ld9, so aren't going to break and run very easily. In addition, as great as Terminators are in close combat, unless you're fighting Necrons you're going to want them blasting away at their targets for as long as possible. The 2 Assault Cannons will kill a lot more points in Vehicles and 2+ save stuff than your Power Fists will kill of tarpit Conscripts.
I'd recommend ditching him and taking a pair of Reclusiarchs. Give each a Bolt Pistol, and you've got yourself two Fearless Crusader Squads that can Zeal wherever they please. Unmatched Zeal will make them about twice as good on the charge to boot.
Elite: Sword Brethren Terminators x 5 ; 2 Assault Cannons : 240 pts
This is fine. I personally would rather field them in units of 6, but seeing as how this is 1500 points, you don't have a whole lot of wiggle room.
Elite: Sword Brethren Terminator Assault Squad x 6 ; Light Claws x 5, Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield x 1, Furious Charge x 6: 258 pts
One word: bad. Even in 5th Edition, the only thing a 6-man, 260-point unit of non-shooting assault troops that only move 6" a turn will do is die. Getting a 4+ Invulnerable in
CC and a bootload of
LC attacks is not worth the loss of the Storm Bolters and Assault Cannons. Ditch these guys in favor of either a clone squad of the shooty unit - 5-man, 2 AssCan - or use the points elsewhere.
Troops: Crusader Squad x 8, Neophytes x 8, BP/CCW x 6, BP/Power Fist, Meltagun : 233 pts
Troops: Crusader Squad x 8, Neophytes x 8, BP/CCW x 6, BP/Power Fist, Meltagun : 233 pts
Solid. This is a good base for a
BT list at 1500. I run 20-man Squads, but generally only do so when fielding horde Templars, which is more a personal style rather than an effective way to metagame with them (although 5th Edition's boos to infantry will make it much more powerful this summer).
Troops: Crusader Squad x 7, Bolter x 5, Plasma Gun, Lascannon : 133 pts
I'd lose 2 Marines and a Plasma Gun and save yourself 38 points for something that will kill stuff. A Bolter and a Plasma Gun will kill maybe one model all game while the lone lascannon is blasting away at armor. Either that, or lose the squad entirely and use the points to make a 10-Initiate Crusader Squad.
Fast Attack: Land Speeder Squad x 2, Heavy Bolter/Assault Cannon x 2: 160 pts
These guys will be the bulk of your mobile antitank. I never liked relying on speeders for tank-hunting, preferring Multi-Melta Attack Bike Squadrons of 2 due to their increased durability to small arms. The power of an extra 2 AssCans is undeniable, however.
In sum, I'd say you could stand to lose a few things. Here's what I'd do with your list:
Reclusiarch w/
BP
Reclusiarch w/
BP
EC w/ Abhor
Terminators (5) w/ 2
AC
Terminators (5) w/ 2
AC
Crusader Squad (8/8) w/
PF, Meltagun
Crusader Squad (8/8) w/
PF, Meltagun
LST w/
HB,
AC
LST w/
HB,
AC
That leaves you at 1408. There's a couple things you could do to fill up to 1500. The choices I'd recommend would be the following:
1. Take 3 Cenobyte Servitors, a Teleport Homer and an Holy Orb Antioch for each Reclusiarch. Your troops will fly forward whenever they're shot, and you'll have a nifty little wild card to throw down in each squad when that pesky skimmer gets in your way or something.
2. Take another Landspeeder Tornado with Heavy Bolter and Assault Cannon. The last 12 points can be Meltabombs or Teleport Homers on your Reclusiarchs if you like. The presence of a 7th Assault Cannon might be frowned upon, but you won't feel so bad when you rend an entire unit out of existence, or when your opponent dumps a bunch of space clowns into your troops and annihilates them. It's not like you're taking a Monolith and a Nightbringer against choppy Templars in a 1250 points game or anything (extrenm(54) knows what I'm talking about,

).
Beyond that, it's all you. I like the list, and I think against another
CC-oriented list it would do pretty well. However, most people field Mech armies, so no dice.
Hope that helps.
CK