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Here is a small layout for a story i have been working on featuring the dark eldar, imperial guard and space marines in a full scale war. All critisim is welcome as i'm in no way a good writer .

The Baral IV incident is unique in many ways. Firstly this was the first real ‘’invasion’’ of the Dark Eldar, all other military actions had previously been smaller raids and acts of piracy against the imperial navy. But most prominently this was also the first military action that was carried out by several Kabals and not the act of one single faction.
-Scribe Pieter
The Baral IV incident


A gentle breeze whispered through the small, meagre trees along the path up to the radar station. The wind was cold and brought the smell of both the near plain and the ocean to the acute nose of the mandrake. He tasted the air with his tongue, trying to familiarise himself with the new surroundings. As he moved his chameleonskin quickly adapted to the bleak cliff and he became seemingly invisible to the untrained eye. He moved quietly on the bleak cliff until he reached the outerwall of the station. His bionic eye zoomed in on the battlement, seeing nothing but grey concrete of the battlement. The wind turned slightly and he could now smell the scent of monkeigh from the station, a foul and disgusting stench to his nostrils. Like if something had rotted there. The neruimplants in his ear picked up nearby monkeigh hearts, beating at a snail's pace, not alerted. He let out a small breath of delight trough his dark mask... this was life, the ecstasy of the hunt, the thrill of the kill. Like a lizard he quickly scuttled up the wall and slowly and warily looked over the battlement. The wall was lit up every fourth meter with immense spotlights coming from the main building that made a sweep every tenth second. As the spotlight came over him he froze and his skin automatically adapted in the blink of an eye to the new background and light. The monkeigh guard was several meters from him with his back turned. Regularly he would have taken him out at close range, but there was just too much at stake now.
He quickly raised his wrist mounted splinter pistol and fired a single needle sharp projectile into the guardsman’s neck, the poison spreading through his body. As the monkeigh fell the shadowy shape of the mandrake scuttled forward and grabbed the body before it could hit the concrete. He slowly turned the body around and controlled the eyes; completely black and liquefied, just as they should be. He poured a vial of clear fluid onto the monkeigh and then turned his attention to the gap between the fortification and the main buildings roof. The corpse would be gone soon, dissolved into ooze by the chemicals in the liquid. The main building resembled a giant concrete block with a large array of antennas and satellite dishes on the roof, a good example of the moonkeighs inferior building technologies and design.


So should i keep going?

Yes keep going, it is a good read! Dont use italics though as it is a little bit harder to read. There are a couple of spelling mistakes that made me have to double read in places, so spellcheck first too