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Am I the only person here who is sick and tired of those among us with gigantic egos?

You know; the ones who feel the need to attack the individual and not debate their differences, the ones who think they're awesome and have to keep telling us so, the ones who seem to feel the need to use convoluted language as a way to "talk around" what they're saying in what seems to be an effort to look superior to us, the ones who ridicule those they seem to feel better than?

There is a lot of good on these forums. I find a wealth of great information daily. I have to say, though, that I'm getting sick and tired of the ranting and raving of these emotional infants who come here and display attitudes of such immense ass-hattery.

Multiple times a week, I find myself contemplating a PM to Yakface, asking him to delete my account and telling him exactly why; DakkaDakka is losing its' attraction for me. Those jerks in the forums are ruining the experience here for me, and I'm sick of it.

I don't want to cancel my Dakka membership. I want them to. I want them to a) leave Dakka or b) leave their egos at home when they come here.

Am I alone?
Is anyone else sick of it?

I don't want to name any names. I'm certain that many who read this are thinking of some -or all- of the same people I am.

Speak up, if you're sick of the ass-hats with egos ruining the environment of this place.

Eric
[/]

Have you tried the ignore function yet MM?

Edit: doesn't work against my posting however. I have uber powers

Ignore only has a limitel function.
If I Ignore "UserX" but not you, and you quote "UserX," won't I still see the quoted text?
If you don't quote "UserX," in your response, I'll have no idea what you're referring to.

Unfortunately, with only 1 exception I can think of off-hand, the jerks sometimes have valuable input and aren't ALWAYS jerks. Information, I want to see. Ass-hattery, I want to avoid.

Eric

I didn't know how the ignore function worked.

Yes often times these types have some good points, but it gets caught in the drama.

jfrazell wrote:Yes often times these types have some good points, but it gets caught in the drama.

No no drama.
We don't want no drama drama.
No no drama.
No no no no drama.


Mmmmm Fergilicious.

Er...save the drama for your mamma?

MagickalMemories wrote:... of such immense ass-hattery.

5 Stars for using the "word" "ass-hattery" not just once but twice. Now work in "douchbagery" and "idating" and you'll make your way to the full 10 stars.

I don't mind the attacks aimed at me personally as I could care less but when thier aimed at newer posters It tends to get me a little riled. They come to get advice and often state they are just getting started in the hobby and certain individuals come along and tell them how stupid they are? WTF. Veterens posters are free game to me because they tend to give as good as they get but to harp on someones army list because they don't have a clue just to pump your own ego is pointless IMO.

True Lemartes

I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here. I've only been a member for a few weeks but their are a few Egos (deserving of the capitalisation, I feel) whose cynicism and one-upmanship are damaging my own love for the hobby.

When you get right down to it, this is supposed to be fun. Wargaming is an opportunity for like-minded people to get together for an enjoyable evening of banter and toy-soldier-related shenanigans. There are certain people on this site that make everything such a chore, and that's just not right.

I dunno, I find it generally amusing to read.
It's bad as Lemartes pointed out when newer members or players get abuse, but there's always some other veteran to jump in and explain things- and flame the original offender.

Of course, there are some threads or whole posts I'll just ignore if I'm tired of them. When John and H.M.B.C. get into a "debate" (read: Constant stating and restating of entrenched positions) it's only fun for the first cycle- once things start repeating I bail.

As for Stelek, well he's got some stuff right, and he does toot his own horn a lot. What the hell. It's amusing. I do feel he often contributes very little to discussions through being so dismissive, but it doesn't bug me much.

Nurglitch is fun, if only because he keeps hammering the same old point every time. It's a good point though.
And sometimes I learn something from his posts. He can be arrogant at times, but generally only when he feels put upon I find.

MM: Take a leaf out of my book and laugh before you frown. It'll make Dakka a much more entertaining place. I really like this board for a lot of reasons. I stopped posting here recently, due to a nervous breakdown, but even in the middle of all that a good ould lurk here could cheer me up. Certainly don't cancel your account- you'd only regret it afterwards.
Oh yeah- I've no problem naming names. They're big boys

Except for Nurglitch. Judging by his avatar he's a big squid

Great advice by the Boss. You can also ignore posters by just scrolling through their posted material, not pausing to read.

Like Da Boss, I find it endlessly amusing. I don't game very often, so have little of material value to contribute on those discussions. But I am a student of human nature and I find the interactions and word choices fascinating.

Big egos are very similar to bullies at school. It's very likely insecurity at work. As I said elsewhere, the truly extraordinary often downplay their gifts, so as NOT to put people off (even unintentionally). They just appraoch these things differently. In short, if someone is tooting their own horn, it's because nobody else will. Make of that what you wish.

MagickalMemories wrote:Ignore only has a limitel function.
Unfortunately, with only 1 exception I can think of off-hand, the jerks sometimes have valuable input and aren't ALWAYS jerks. Information, I want to see. Ass-hattery, I want to avoid.

I had this problem with Ed for years. He's been incredibly knowledgeable and insightful about the game and has lots of good content, but he's also still the biggest troll I've ever seen on Dakka; I've only been back for a couple of months but I haven't seen any of the folks mentioned in this thread pull anything like some of the things he used to do. Then again, I've been staying out of most of the 40K-focussed forums like Army Lists and YMTC, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm missing the worst of it.

I find the Ignore button comforting just to have around. I haven't used it yet, but when I read ass-hattery it makes me feel a little better to think that if somebody goes too far (not that I have a clear definition of "too far" in mind) I can almost erase them from my Dakka experience.

One other comfort: Dakka is still eons better than AWC, asshat wise.

Hoping I'm not one of these people we all like to dislike, (I'm useless at judging my character) I agree, it's OK to discredit something if their is serious reason for it, but otherwise I find it annoying, and sometimes don't want to post in case I attract the attention i don't want.

Not saying I'm a wuss, I can take it to a degree, but sometimes it feels like a preschool playground, with the big kids constantly being at each others throats

Dakka tries hard to let discussion burn itself out rather than diving in and locking anything that can even be thought of as slightly aggressive/unusual/offtopic. The main disadvantage to doing this is that we get people who continue debating points that have been refuted or are irrelevant, and things can also escalate too far even for dakka standards (personal insults, etc). The reason we keep things this way is that when people debate things this much, the best answers can usually get filtered out towards the end of a thread by a neutral reader (though some of the participants might miss those points ).

This way of doing things has given us such success that we were referenced and thanked in the most recent set of 40k FAQs. To have a thorough rules debate, a lot of crap will get mixed in, but cutting things off or denying responses from some users would neuter those debates. If you as a reader get annoyed by specific posters then consider using the ignore button, or just skim through their posts but even a broken clock can be right twice a day. There are plenty of happier, friendly areas of dakka (like the project logs and painting forums), but the rules and tactics areas will always attract somewhat more pedantic users by nature of the people who are interested in those topics. If things do seem to be getting really out of hand in a given thread then click the 'alert a mod' button in the top right of a given post. We respond very quickly to alerts, but you might not see immediate action in more borderline cases as often we will just send off a PM in the background and then watch the thread more closely after that.

MagickalMemories wrote:Ignore only has a limitel function.

Can't spell "limited"? Ignored.

jfrazell wrote:I didn't know how the ignore function worked.

Failing at life. Ignored.

Phoenix wrote:5 Stars for using the "word" "ass-hattery" not just once but twice. Now work in "douchbagery" and "idating" and you'll make your way to the full 10 stars.

Star ratings for a Dakka post. Ignored.

Lemartes wrote:WTF.

Typing skills are, as MagickalMemories typed, "limitel". Ignored.

Vandez wrote:I'm going to jump on the bandwagon here.

Oh come on. Bringing alcohol into the thread? Ignored.

Da Boss wrote:Oh yeah- I've no problem naming names. They're big boys

Referring to the boys as "big." Ignored.

dienekes96 wrote:Big egos are very similar to bullies at school.

Obviously can't let go of the past. Ignored.

Grand Preceptor wrote:One other comfort: Dakka is still eons better than AWC, asshat wise.

Comparing Dakka to Adeptus Windy City. Ignored.

Storm Lord wrote:but sometimes it feels like a preschool playground, with the big kids constantly being at each others throats

Maybe you and dienekes96 can have a class reunion or something. While you're ignored.

legoburner wrote: even a broken clock can be right twice a day.

Trite aphorism. Ignored.

Hey legoburner, my Ignore button isn't working. What gives?

malfred wrote:Hey legoburner, my Ignore button isn't working. What gives?

Fine. Don't reply to me.

Respectfully (and I mean that), what you just said was a very polite version of "deal with it or don't go there."

I'll name someone here:

Stelek.

Now, I'm not going to bash him. It's not my style.
What I will do, though, is use him for an example (the example is hypothetical, but the result is common).


Someone comes on and requests advice on an army list. Stelek responds.
One of the other members of Dakka joins in the thread.
His response, presuming he disagrees with Stelek, immediately attacks Stelek for being egotistical and thinking he is the be-all-end-all of 40K, then offers his own (no ore or less valid) advice.

We know how things degenerate from there.

While I agree 100% that a LOT of great information comes from this site, I don't think it's fair that those of us who can separate our attitudes from our egos from our opinions have to endure this douchebaggery (I don't like the term, but I'm shooting for 10 stars here).
See, that asshattery (one more to go) is not solely reserved for those who have the -shall we say- "high profile" of Stelek and the like. It ends up ladeled on thickly to anyone in disagreement with those whose egos seem to reach epic proportions. You can have a BETTER discussion without it, as the discussion doesn't get pushed of track by the fLAME-war.


Oh... and, umm... idating...

I don't know the term (I know e-dating, but not idating), but I wanted to say it.
Shooting for the 10. LOL

Thanks.

Eric

MM: Okay, now I can see your point a little better. Yes, it is crap when people's personal grievances trail around from thread to thread. But look at it this way- depending on the new guy, he may decide to go see why there is such a response to this stelek dude. That's what i would do.
Although, to be honest, I'd more than likely just ignore the insults and get to the meat of the post.

malfred wrote:

malfred wrote:Hey legoburner, my Ignore button isn't working. What gives?

Fine. Don't reply to me.

If you have friended someone in the past you wont get an ignore button until you un-friend them from your profile. If posts do not seem to be hidden, chances are it is just cached and you need to refresh (or close and reopen your browser).

MM, Stelek is the most borderline of all borderline cases for Dakka's policies and is probably the most frequently banned of all our users. The problem is that he posts great stuff as well as the flame attracting stuff, but I assure you that the admin and mod team are giving things lots of thought right now.

Can I just chime in here and say I reckon it'd be an awful shame if Stelek or any other member were to be banned?
That'd suck. I reckon Stelek easily adds more than he takes away, and his perspective is interesting, or at least, amusing.
Dakka is a great place because differences are tolerated, while still allowing great freedom of speech. No other website I've been to has this kind of atmosphere, and I really enjoy it.

Perma-banning users is something we hate doing, and generally only do in the event that there is no other way to resolve it. We have full technical control over dakka so if anyone can think of tech ideas that might help resolve the issues then please speak up and maybe we'll implement them. As an example of an out-there idea, perhaps we could make a list of users who argue with each other to the detriment of a thread, and make it so that they cannot mention each other's username in their posts, and cannot reply directly to each other, requiring at least one neutral member to add a buffer post before they are allowed to reply to a thread. Like I said, people's thoughts on technical solutions are most welcome, and yes the level of tolerance is one of dakka's main standout points in the wargaming forum world.

Da Boss wrote:Can I just chime in here and say I reckon it'd be an awful shame if Stelek or any other member were to be banned?
That'd suck. I reckon Stelek easily adds more than he takes away, and his perspective is interesting, or at least, amusing.
Dakka is a great place because differences are tolerated, while still allowing great freedom of speech. No other website I've been to has this kind of atmosphere, and I really enjoy it.

I'd never endorse the banning of any member. I do think Dakka is a very different site than it used to be when I joined some 7 years ago. It used to be the premiere site, focused on every aspect of the hobby. It's now very much become the competitive gaming website, which makes it incredible useful, but fundamentally different. Like Robert Heinlein before me, I believe manners are the lubrication of society. Dakka used to have the most impressive modeling forum on the web. Numerous Golden Demon winners posted here (and I mean the Sword winners), before and after their wins. Lots of full army posts, and they would get dozens of good, critically useful replies in hours. I know Grey Death is working very hard at restoring some of that luster. But that left for quite some time. Dakka was where folks (including portent) came to get rumors. That's shifted as well.

The tone of Dakka got sharper, and sometimes Dakka became an e-peen wagging session, the irony of which was not lost on plenty of long term folks who contributed at numerous levels. Some of whom are gone for good. Not because they couldn't "hang", but simply because it wasn't worthwhile.

I think Dakka has tremendously improved under Yak, finding a nice balance. It's primarily competitively focused, the best on the net at that. I think the aggressive tone that works in YMTC/Tactics doesn't always work in the broader hobby sections.

As for people's egos? How they present themselves is their choice, but the reputation of Dakka hinges on the behavior of their members. I know some enjoy the reputation of the shark pit, but I think a broader membership base is a good thing. Watching someone strut their stuff on a wargame is too similar to someone bragging at being great at Madden. What's interesting (and great) is that relatively few of the very good players here do that. The ones that do stick out. It's nice to be great at something. It's nice to share that with fellow gamers. It's stupid to think it matters in the real world.

So let's be civil, and leave the "I'm the best Candyland player in the world" stuff for the cretins. And it shouldn't have to be the mods. Membership sets the tone.

As the immortal Dalton said, "Be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice."

What really 'Grinds my Gears' are the Ass-hats who add NOTHING to a thread, but feel they have this God-bloody-given right to correct people. That REALLY annoys me.

Example-Thread on "Why Oranges are better than Apples(eg only)

OP-"I think my apples are more effective than Oranges"

Next poster"I agree, my oranges are usually better than any Apples I have seen"

Asshat Poster-"Actually, as a noun, you should have put a capital "O" in front of Oranges. Please stop wasting our time with your poorly thought out responses".

I mean seriously, where do thease sorts of Jerks get off? Are they on the lowest rung of a social/work ladder, and try to compensate? Are they MODS with a "Hidden" title?

If we spent more time discussing 40k, instead of going for some kind of "Interwebs Win"-this site would be a lot better.

Whio gives a toss whether some Backwoods/CheetoEating/Narcissist is there to flex his Ego?

Or they make some sweeping statement, troll a thred for 4 pages on a high horse, then 3 months later'forget' the whole premise behind the entire Trolling effort in the first place.

Hypocritical/SelfImportant/Forgetful Idiots are the WORST imo.

Well, it's nice to see there are so many users out ther, from newish members to established members, who are tired of it, as well.

As an example of an out-there idea, perhaps we could make a list of users who argue with each other to the detriment of a thread, and make it so that they cannot mention each other's username in their posts, and cannot reply directly to each other, requiring at least one neutral member to add a buffer post before they are allowed to reply to a thread.

That idea isn't bad... but it could easily backfire if they're the only 2 in the thread who are active, AND just happen to be offering good advice/opinions on both sides of the issue.
Would it be worth it? I don't know.

I'm not for perma-banning, either. Sites like Bartertown have a need for a permanent ban for certain people (scammers). I haven't seen anyone yet who deserves to be banned (due to discussion related issues), though Painter6479 might be eligible for OTHER reasons... but I won't go there...

What (I think) Dakka needs is a strict "no-flame" policy. Those who attack others need from warnings up to long term time-outs. As much as it would suck for the Mod staff, it should be them who issues the warnings. I can come into a thread or PM all day and tell TraderX to be polite and stop making his disagreements with TraderY into personal battles... but that's just going to get me a big old can of STFU shaken and opened in my face... by more people than just TraderX, too.

In regards to Stelek... I puposefully didn't make my example about something he did to someone. I used him as the flame recipient because (a) he's a recognizable name and (b) we've all, likely, seen him subjected to the "attacks" I mentioned when he'd done nothing in that thread (up to that point, anyway) to deserve it. Notice that his "attacker" in the example was not specifically named.
I just want to stress that I was not bashing him or trying to incite anyone else to... So, please, don't.
It wasn't about Stelek, it was about the actions members sometimes choose.

Thanks!
Eric

Do some of these people actually have proper grudges with each other then? or do they just really disagree about certain points? Just out of wondering

Depends on what you mean by, "proper grudge."
Mostly, it's a few users who don't see eye to eye, so they have to disagree publicly about everything.
That's fine.
Unfortunately, one of them (could be ANY one of them) eventually thrown a personal attack in his comments, which is siezed upon by te one he insulted (and often others, as well) and it tends to go downhill from there.

Is that a "proper grudge?"
Not in my book.
In my book, it's a bunch of people with inflated yet fragile egos who are incapable of separating the individual from the disagreement, so choose to make it personal in attempted one-upsmanship.

Eric

Ok who said the third "Malf?" I told you he magically appears when you say Malf three times but you had to go and do it didn't you.
See what happens? SEE WHAT HAPPENS!

malfred wrote:Hey legoburner, my Ignore button isn't working. What gives?

He can't reply. He has you on his "ignore" list