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I'm sure this is another thing I am just missing.

Can I charge a unit I DIDN'T shoot at if that unit I shot is destroyed in the Shooting Phase?

No

No with one exception. If you destroy a transport you may assault the passengers.

Keep in mind the unit that had to 'emergency disembark' usually has to test for pinning. If they're pinned, assaulting them will break them out of pinning. It may be better leaving them there to stew while your troops focus on another target.

Well. That's stupid.

It's a deliberate limiter placed on shooty units to keep them balanced... and forces a little tactical thinking.