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Late in the 41st millenium, a large Chaos horde of the Tarak Brigadiers, a renegade group of th Imperial guard and chaos Space marines attacked the world of Lorak. Commander Logan Clyde of the 667th Cairho Special Forces, or "Green Berets" for the ancient military faction on Terra, swiftly launched a massive evacuation using the landing platforms of the capital hive city of Carax. Though many intially doubted his skill, as it was his first missionwhere he would be in complete control, they soon saw his eye for planning and war. However before the last parts of Lorak could be evacuated the horde advanced faster then expected. Acting quickly Logan Clyde defended Platform Thirteen for almost seventeen hours against all odds. Platform Thirteen is the size of four and a half thrashball fields. This is the record of that mighty battle. Although almost all of the veterans from the unit known as the Wolf Pack were lost, many recruits survived to recieve promotions and were even given command of their own squads.

09:53, local time. Carak Landing Fields, Platform Thirteen Overseer's office. Time till Attack: Estamated 31 hours.

"Get those Arvus Lighters to land in the southern quarter, next to the Basilisks. And have the Convict Squads set their charges on the Carax General Bridge, in these areas. I want to have our bombers to take away theose secondary bridges, so have the column of evacs move quicker." Said Logan Clyde, exuding his strange mix of clam and paranoia. "Commander if we move our mortar squads here and on these roofs their fields of fire well be bigger." Suggested Old Man Stakris, the cheif artillerary officer. "Do whatever you need. And make sure those factories are still producing for at least ten more hours, and make sure they get their just rewards. have the cat walks and kill boxes fortified and began placing traps her and here.

Carak General Bridge, 10:21, local time.

Sergeant Rocky Starkiller was unhappy. Even more so than usual. He had been given the gak house assignment of overseeing the Convict Squads. He did admire their enthusiasm. He had seen a seventy year old go to town on one of the support struts with only a crow bar, and had actually broken it. Those that had bombs were setting them up at tghe far end, and those that weren't were currently dropping poisons and toxins into the river, as well as placing traps to cause all the pain possible. He could use some of these people when he killed the commander. "Hey, Gimpy! Yeah you, syphon that fuel from that car. Pop the antifreeze and any other flammable liquids." They followed orders, and he didn't have to repeat himself. Very usefull... very usefull indeed...


End of chapter one, questions and comments appreciated, trying very hard to do my best fo you, The Best Minions, eh erhm, FANS.


Thanks, as ever

David

It's good...now give us more!

(drool) (drool)

must serve the scout with the golden eyes...

DROOL!!!!!

rawr

AND NOW CHAPTER TWO

8:21, Local time. Time Till Attack: Estimated 32 Hours

Sniff,Sniff. It smelt like food. But the dog would not eat it. It smelt of, HIM. The ancient enemy of his species. The one who had so long ago given them a bad name. Instead the dog lifted his leg and relieved himself on the body. He was hungry, yes. But not that hungry. Soon he would find food. He had seen others that looked like his master. Oh yes, he had. But they also smelt of Him, of Brass, Bronze, and BLOOD. And he had seen one who he know to be his one true master, the one he was meant to serve. If only he could find the smeel, then he would find him. But not in this place. Here it smelt to much of Him. He needed to find higher ground. And to make things better he know he would find them again as well. They were a different breed, but he knew he would find his salvation with them.


11:00, Local time. Estimated Time Till Attack: 30 Hours

Jak Macnaria knew he was going to die today. He had killed three priest, for god's sake! Yet he had been awarded this chance at salvation, by the grace of the gods and the Emporer and all his saints and even Cole Smith, his favorite thrashball player! He would not fail. He would wait here, until he saw the tanks that belonged to the enemy. Then he would move to a building roof that Logan Clyde himself had specified, and report on the movements so that all the batteries had accurate information to bombard the enemy. And when his purpose had been served he would detonate his suicide bomb, which was actually a massive plasma generator. It would take out a large portion of whatever was left of the bridge, and destroy any cover that the enemy had hoped for during their advance. And it's explosion, would be

Glorious.

Oh yes, he would have his salvation.

YAY YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S CHAPTER 3!!!!!
Also I noticed a few continuity errors in my writing. I'll try and fix these later.

01:32, Local time. Enemy Vanguard Spotted.

Carmine Baird was excited. Right next to him in the ornithopter variants the locals used, called Lord Eagles, was Logan Clyde himself.
They were going on an ill-advised mission to wreck the only way to get into the eastern part of the city, the corax Tunnel, named for the Raven Guard primarch. They had scrambled all the forces, and the sappers were rapidly finishing up, and almost all of the sap squads should be able to get back in time to defend. "Trooper, give me your rifle." Carmine looked up to see the commander holding his hand out. hastily he put in his hands. The commander stripped it, and then reasbled it with ease. "The clip isn't fully loaded. How do you expect to kill the enemy with only ten rounds? Take care of it." The commander than began to speak into the vox carried by his aide, giving orders all the time. How could h possible keep so calm, even right now?

02:00, Local Time. Preparing to get Boned by the enemy.


The head was right in the midle of her crosshairs. Gently squezeing the trigger the round flew. The head exploded in a shower of blood, bone and brain matter. So far she had relocated almost 5 times, and was nearly out of ammo for her Exitus rifle. "BREAK THEIR BACKS!!" screamed a voice from behind her. Turning and trying to bring her rifle around, she saw the hulking red figure, The chain axe was brought down in barely a second, and she was dead, bright arterial blood spurting from her neck as her head rolled, the eyes wide in shock as they looked at something just beyond the shoulders of the killer.
War had arrived. Whether Lorak liked it or not.



Carmine was now scared. The commander was in front of him opening fire with a six barreled heavy bolter. He screamed as he did so, tearing into the bodies of the traitors behind Carmine. The vanguard had turned out to be the main force of the enemy. How the hell could the have gotten here so damn fast? they had blown away Rojas and Commisar Kim was badly hurt. She had retreated to warn the sappers and get the Lord Eagles ready to lift off. "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" was all that carmine could hear over the roar of the six blaster. There! Light! He could see the Eagles, the crew manning their guns while Kim yelled at them to just get moving. Not even bothering to to help one of the sappers who had tripped to his feet up he jumped and grabed the seat, strapping himself in and then aiming. The Eagle lifted off and they were hovering in the air as they plotted their course. "TROOPER, WHERE IS THE COMMANDER!" screamed commisar Kim into his ear, doing everything to be heard over the sounds of battle. Carmine looked around. The commander wasn't on board! And the only other Eagles didn't hold him either. He was still down there. Unstrapping himself he grabbed the binox from under the seat. Looking he saw a figure who was too small to be the Chaos Marines, but he was doomed if wasn't on one of the Eagles. An explosion wracked the tunnel and roads ledding from it. The figure that was the commander was lost to so much dust and rubble thanks to the wonders of plasma generators that had been rigged to blow. "Pilot! You need to go back!" Carmine screamed. Kim grabbed him, smacked him and sat him down. "Listen Trooper, we can't go back, he's dead, and so would we." Here was someone who everyone in the regiment knew he had made love to, telling him that he was dead, with out any emotion at all. It sank in quickly. Carmine dropped to his knees, and the lay down, crying. He did not bother to take off his helmet until the tears had filled his lenses. When it was of he felt a hand stroking his hair, and did not have to look to know that it was Shana Kim.



5:12, Local Time. Evacuation descended into chaos. Forces preparing to evacuate following death of Logan Clyde.

Sniff Sniff. This was definately his true master.
Logan felt a rough sponge wiping his face. No, no that wasn't right. A tongue. The breath gave it away. He opended his eyes to see a dog sitting on his hind quarters, and of all things... SMILING! He knew it's breed right away, its narrow neeple point nose and long legs gave it away as a greyhound. Sitting beside it was another grey, and what he believed to be a pitbull. Groaning, he pulled himself up from the rubble. "Well, I sup..." Standing stock still, Logan did not finishe his sentence. He could here the voices of the Traitor Marines and Guardsman. Turning he saw the ending of their convoy. Thankfully he didn't see any Baneblades or superheavies, just Chimeras and Rhinos. Must of the vehicles were Land Speeders. But how in the hell had they managed to move all that rubble so fast? Turning towards the Corax Tinnel he saw the Banelord Titan and knew instantly. It had vaporised the tunel and waded into the water, using it's arms as bridges! He had to warn the regiment! Huriedly looking through the bodies he found the vox that his aide had carried. Tuning into the restricted frequency he broadcast his message, hoping it got through........

The dog thing has the potential to be very cool, but it needs some more explanation, as I don't quite understand it

The dogs are because of my own and my brothers dog Rocky. Im gonna build or find a dog figure that looks like greys and pitbulls and paint them to be count as rogh riders or something.

3:47, Local Time.

After word spread about Commander Logan Clyde's survival the defendrs quickly doudbled their efforts to defend. The enemies first wave was repulsed. The Space Marine Chapter of the Wolves Templar sped to reinforce the defence, but was delayed by a battle in space.

Logan quickly mantled over the broken pillar, the dogs keeping pace with him. He could see one of the enemies vehicles. He planned to hijack it and hook up with the rest of the regiment. Power sliding, Logan quickly looked around, the six barreled heavy bolter held at the ready in case any enemy showed up. There were none. Opening up oneof the panels on the side of the speeder Logan put the dogs in. Quickly sitting in the pilots chair Logan bent down and opened up the panel to the wiring. Quickly muttering a prayer to the corrupted machine spirit Logan crossed wires and rerouted power ways. He had done this many times when he was young, and was nothing more than a criminal.
As it falred into life Logan quickly took stock of the controls, which were lttle more than a stripped down version of a Valkryie. Strapping himself in Logan lifted off, as he hovered over the enemy camp, Logan reached over and triggered the multi-melta, tearing into one of the Chaos Warhounds, a large fuel and ammo dump, and anything else.
As the Warhound came online, it's void shield shorted out. Taking his demo charge out Logan triggered it for twenty second,max power. Flying by the Titan he dropped it on the neck joint. As chaos struck the camp, fire and death rained, and no one noticed the lone speeder as it made it's way across the horizon, the Titan falling over it one of the Banelords, damaging it's drive engines. Logan smild at the destruction he had created, and dialed in to the regiment, warning them NOT to shoot at a land speeder approaching from the east.




When the commander reached the landing fields, he was met by his regiment, all happy to see that he was alive and well. Without wasting a minute he began barking orders.
"I want our air defense platforms online yesterday! Make sure all our snipers are in position. And sombody get me the Arbites dog squads!" His orders were carried out withoyut a single question. When one of the Arbites arrived the commander began to speak. "Get the factories still under our control to produce ammo, and have one start to produce these." The commander handed him sheets of paper with plans of weapons. The weapons were claws and jaw pieces to be attached to the dogs to agument their combat prowess.





The Chapter Master of the Wolves Templar prepared for the boarding action he was currently about to take part in. His command squad stood beside him. The Master of Purity, Chaplain Jeres Keel, the chapter Banner Bearer, Marcus Derisco, chapter Champion Damon Charatoss. The green light at the front of the boarding spear flashed on, and they rushed forward into the battle.

The battle for the enemy ship was easy. The force was mostly Traitors, and they were cut down with ease. The tech-marines rigged explosive charges and sent the ship hurtling into the enemy fleet, destroying several of their ships and damaging others.As the fleet engaged the ships, only three were lost, to the enemies seventeen. When space superioty over the enemy had been established over the enemy the Space Marines launched a drop assault, using the 5th, 6th, 11th, and 13th companies to allow the fleet to find out the enemies defences. However the dropped forces suffered even more horrendous casualties then was expected, and when the surviors had reached the surface and linked up with the defenders only seventy squads had been able to make it to a safe zone. After reaching the landing platform, they reinforced the already beleagured defenders. Despite the morale boost, the defenders were still outnumbered 7 to 1. After the drop assault, the enemy retaliated by launching hidden fighters and ships, preventing more drop pods being launched.


"In death, their service is commerated."

Logan drew the smoke from the bac-stick and puffed it out. He had a plan that would destroy most of the enemy, but it was incredibly dangerous. On the bed behind him lay Shana. She slept with the thin sheet thrown over her body, and sweat still stood out on her body. He had truly enjoyed it this time. And now hewould never seeher again. It was a damn shame. Standing up, he strecthed his back and arms, the viens on his neck momentarilly stood out. His back cracked noisily. Shana stirred. "Babe, what are you doing.? Come on back to bed suga." Her caramel skin beckoned him. He did.

Standing before the gathered forces left from the drop, Logan addressed them "I have recieved information ffrom the fleet that they have managed to clear a route through the atmosphere. They say that the administritum has declared this planet irredemable and is do for virus bombing within the week. As such we are to draw the enemyto the landing platform and then retreat into the atmosphere, and be recovered by the fleet. As such we are to begin Operation: Nightshine effective A.S.A.P." The news hit the force like a punch from a lascannon. They began to organize into teams for the retreat.

As Logan walked to the tent he shared with Shana he felt the heavy hand of one of the marines. Turning around he saw it was the Chaplain, Caedus. "You didn't recieve any information from the fleet. And there is no way that we can hope to get out of the atmosphere safely, without serious loss. You're lieing." Logan nodded. "And I will not stop you. But don't think you get to leave me out of the fun. Me and the scouts and Devestator squad will stay behind to help you." Logan smiled.

The scouts sat around as they recievd their briefing from the Chaplain. The Guardsmen recieved theirs from the the commander. In one hour they had drawn the enemy to the platform, and lifted off. The remaining forces were a mix of Convict squads and Space Marines.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:He had killed three priest, for god's sake!

As Commisar Shana Kim strapped into the ThunderHawk's chair, she saw the commander from out of the boarding ramp, calmly aiming down the sight of his sniper rifle. He was so cool, so collected. Well, on the ships in the fleet she would reprimand him for not staying behind and giving his all to defend the emporers world, but just enough to fool the regiment. The ramp closed and she was contented to listen to those sitting around her. Soon enough they would be with the fleet, and then they could be together again.

Logan chambered the next round to the sniper rifle, killing another Bezerker. Turning he spoke into his vox unit. "Chaplain, get the guns on Hawk 17 up and running, we won't be able to provide enough cover for the retreat if we don't have those bad boys running interference!" The chaplain did as he was told, and Logan's plan came even closer to fruition. Quickly ordereing the Devestator squad to get the storm bolter from the drop pod, the scouts to get grenades from the Arvus Lighter, and then Logan was alone. He had ordered the pilots to seal off their cockpits, and as soon as the squads got into them, they would lift off. Logan knew that he was damning himself, but was more than happy to do it, if only to see the enemy destroyed.

Chaplain Ceadus looked around the hull of the Thunderhawk, wondering why this squad of guardsmen had not lifted off yet. Suddenly the ramp behind him closed and he understood what was happening. Rushing to the cockpit Ceadus found it to be sealed off. Slamming his fist against it he screamed. "Don't lift off yet fools! The commander hasn't gotten into a transport yet!" He continued to do so, until he sunk to his knees, knowing Logan had intended this all along.
He had wanted to die alone! Damn Him to Hell! Ceadus thought angrily. But he knew he didn't mean that. He knew that for Logan to sacriface himself like this was the most honorable thing that hecould do, and he could save them by doing it. Those that were also duped by him quickly came to this realization.

Logan stood on the platform, now clear of tents and ships. "So empty..." he said. "Not really." Logan turned bringing up his knife, instinctively going into the crouch of his training. Logan saw it was the Scout, Yamamoto. "I knew what you were going to do, and knew that you couldn't have all the fun." Logan frowned. "Well, let's get some lunch." They walked over to one of the debris piles and logan broke out some MREs. They eat in friendly silence. They began to hear the chants of thier enemies clearer and Logan stood. He looked at Yamamoto, and he nodded. Logan pulled out a detanator, and pressed a button. Soon massive explosions rippedthrough the air, and Logan was thrown backwards. Pulled to his feet by Yamamoto, Logan said "I think we should give them a big welcome. Don't you?" Yamamoto simply said. "Hai Tono." (I believe this is japaneese for yes, but I might be mistaken."


The Bezerker pushed his way through the crowd of warriors, determined to get to the fighting first. The explosions destroyed him entirely, leaving not even a stain on the pavement.

Logan Held the six-barreled heavy bolter in bothe hands, his auto-pistol, bolt pistol and swords hanging from various holsters, as Yamamoto knelt and offered a prayer to the gods of battle, and asked for the blessings ofhis ancestors. He stood, and held his rifle. "Before they come into view, Yamamoto, I want you to know...... You are the ugliest man I've ever met." For but a moment Yamamoto's composure failed, his olive skinned face breaking open a smile before he regained his stoic, straight face. "In that case, You are the stupidiest man I've ever met." "Then you obviously haven't met many men." Logan replied. The jokes before he died were claming. He thought, "If I die today, let me make fun of someone one last time." Yamamoto turned and spoke to him. "I want to let you know that I wanted to be a Devestator. To be ableto quickly and calmly pick off the enemy from a distance with the greatest fire power capable of being transported by a servent of the Emporer not in a Titan." Logan processed this for a minute. "Well, are you're not compenating for something?" Logan jibbed. Yamamoto laughed, a deep hearty lugh from the depth of his soul. "Look who's talking! Just so you know Logan, big gun doesn't make a big man." Logan's reply was automatic. "Yeah, genetic engineering and gene-seed does though." Yamamoto and Logan laughed and continued their banter until the enemy was within range. Logan Lifted the heavy bolter, steadying it against his hip. As the six barrels spun up, the bolts shredded into the oncoming horde, and no mercy wasshown. Hundreds of traitors and Bezerkers died in just a few seconds, the rounds from Yamamotos rifle tearing into at least three enemies bodies at a time, and all were lethal kill shots, combined with Logans armor shredding rounds. However they did not have infinate ammo. When their weapons ran dry, Logan ordered Yamamoto to fall back.

"Yamamoto, give me some 'nades!" Logan saidwhile chucking his last one over the railing of the balcony they werre currently takeing cover behind. Yamamoto quickly handed a pair of frag grenades over saying in his strong voice, "Do not waste them my friend." Logan Pulled the pin toone and placed it on the ground. Pulling Yamamoto up he told him his plan in just a few seconds. "We jump there. They step here. Big boom." Vaulting over the side of the railing, Logan grabbed a line which hung over and crossed to a building on the other side of the street. Yamamoto muttered underneath his breath, "Crazy sonof.." as he followed shortly.

Full of speeling mistakes and bad., spacing.

None of it blended together, the whole story was complicated/had excessive detail e.g:"The explosions destroyed him entirely, leaving not even a stain on the pavement. "or sounded out of place: Yamamoto simply said. "Hai Tono." (I believe this is japaneese for yes, but I might be mistaken.")

To you !?: Too bad, soo very sad! you don't like, don't readit. I am happy with it, and if your not, well as before :Too bad Soo very sad.

Some one just cannot take criticism.

Golden Eyed Scout wrote:To you !?: Too bad, soo very sad! you don't like, don't readit. I am happy with it, and if your not, well as before :Too bad Soo very sad.

golden eye, you asked for comments criticism... this comment was a bit silly.
i have to admit though that it was funny see seeing him misspell spelling (speeling) while criticizing you for spelling mistakes...lol!

I can take crit, but I just like it to be a little more constructive.