Fixture of Dakka
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Tau vs Lost and the Orky: 1000 pt maiden massacre
This past weekend, Chameleoneyes and I decided to break out some small armies to squeeze a quick game in after working on some terrain. For him, it was 1000 points of the hated Tau, and for me, the mostly painted and built Lost and the Orky! Saddy, I neglected pictures, but if you look in my gallery of the biggerized Marine nob crushing the puny blue tau, you will get the gist.
Lost and the Orky: 1001 pts
HQ:
Warboss, mega armor, attack squig
Troops:
Mega Nobs x 5
Battle Wagon (naked)
12 Sluggas, Nob w/ Heavy Armor, powerklaw, boss pole
12 sluggas, rokkit, nob with Klaw, boss pole
2x trucks, Red, big shoota
HS:
Battlewagon, Killkannon, hardcase
Tau: 1000 points (though I want him to recount… it seemed a little light on models to me)
HQ:
Battlesuit, Fusion gun, Airburst thing, Plasma thing (?), BS4
Elite:
3 Man Crisis Team, Fusion thing, Plasma thing, Detonator thing, BS4
Troops:
3x 11 or so Firewarriors with marker light Sgt man.
Heavy:
1 Sniper Drone team
1 Railhead
We rolled up the multi objective mission and pitched battle deployment. We had 5 objectives.
I tried to put all the objectives I could towards the middle and his side of the board, figuring that was where my sluggas were going to wind up. We ended up with a string of objectives all within about 6” of the middle line, one in a large building on the left, one behind a barricade towards the middle, etc. Good for me.
I rolled first turn, and set up fairly aggressively. My Nobs and Boss went in the battlewagon and aimed down the street by the big building and objective on the left. The 12 sluggas without a trukk hopped in the shooting battlewagon in the middle by the barricade objective, while the two mobs in trucks set up to the right of those, and revved their engines at the line.
The tau, for their part, stayed right back against their board edge, making a thin blue gunline that stretched across 3” of their side of the board, a firewarrior unit lined up with each trukk. On my right a sniper team supported the fire warriors there, while on my left the hammer head sat in the corner with the suits hiding behind it.
The tau failed to seize the initative, and with a cry to the chaos gods (or whatever gods happened to have been listening) I started turn 1.
Turn 1:
Orks: The trucks full of mutant scum slammed forward 19” straight at the tau, howling for blood. The battle wagon on the left did likewise, though not nearly so fast, lumbering down the street to menace the tau excuse for an armored vehicle. The shooting battlewagon rolled up 6” and prepared to fire.
It then discovered it was 34” away from the nearest enemy unit. I cursed, and ended my turn.
Tau: The tau, slightly horrified at just how close the human scum suddenly was, decided to deal with it the best way they knew how: with a turn of desulatory fire. The sniper team opened up on the trukk to the right, putting a round through the radiator and engine block, but failing to hurt any of the mutants as they hopped out of their now smoking heap. The firewarriors next to them drew a bead on the suddenly exposed mutants, fired a precisely timed and choreographed volley… and caused two wounds. Fortunately, the Word Bearer leading the mob of mutants had taken off his helmet to better shout at his charges, and took the round to the forehead, along with one of his mutant lackeys. The marine, for his part, took the wound much better than the other poor wretch.
The firewarriors in the middle opened up on the trukk bearing down on them, and so many shots later, stunned it.
The firewarriors on the left attempted to marker light the battlewagon that was rapidly approaching them, but failed. They then attempted to split fire to shoot the stunned trukk in the center, only to find they had left their target lock back at base. The hammerhead did not need their help, however, and neatly split the battlewagon in two, leaving some very stunned nobs wondering why they were outside suddenly, and what that infernal clinking sound coming from outside their armor was.
The battlesuits, just a hair outside range, hopped back behind the building to avoid retribution from the other battlewagon.
Turn 2:
Orks: Rather cranky that his flash ride had been atomized around him, the Word Bearer boss raised a mighty war cry.
“They jacked my ride!” He screamed into his vox, as he and his terminators charged forward.
“They jacked my ride too!” the twisted mobs shouted back, and ran forward towards the tau sniper teams and firewarriors.
“Well, mine’s mostly alright, but it looks like fun anyway!” reasoned the trukkers in the middle, who hopped out and scooted up towards the middle.
“It’s dangerous out there!” said those in the battlewagon, and contentedly sat inside while the tank rumbled forward hoping to bring it’s killcannon to bear.
(This was immediately preceeded by Chameleoneyes asking “Uhm… can they fleet?” I just chuckled as I said “They will in a minute…”)
The killcannon, for its part, bounced a round off the hammerhead. Oh well. The best was to come…
The orks on the right managed to assault both the firewarriors and the sniper squad. Those in the center smashed into their firewarriors, and the boss… well he is kind of slow, and was 1.5” short of the hammer head.
Any road, it turns out Budlight would not be sponsoring any “Great Moments in Tau Close Combat”, and the orks took 5 casualties smashing 22 firewarriors off the table. They then consolidated towards the left as they licked blood from their stabby bits.
Tau: Still sort of reeling, the tau detachment howled for revenge against the ork scum. The left most firewarriors moved into a double line formation, and advanced on the orks to put them well within rapid fire range (if rapid fire range was 4”). The hammer head back pedaled and turned to fire into the ocoming mutants as well. The battlesuits hopped out from behind the building to try and pick off some terminators.
With a cry, the crisis commander ordered his men to fire upon the mutants, for the GREATER GOOD! Feverishly excited, the firewarriors leveled their plasma rifles and let fly! In the process, however, they neglected to take the lens caps off their scopes, and only managed 4 wounds on the mutants, one of which skittered off the armor of the Word Bearer leading them.
Nonplussed the hammerhead loaded up a submunition, and fired into the mob. However, he left his glasses on top of his head, and the shot scattered 8” into empty space.
Now panicked, the crisis suits attempted to pull victory from defeat and rained plasma and fusiony death into the terminators, who, surprisingly deftly, ducked behind what little cover was afforded them. Only their mighty lord was touched by a fusion blast, but he shrugged it off.
Turn 3:
Orks: Blood was in the air, and on their shoes, and in their hair. The once stunned trukk rushed over to pick up the remnants of the right most mutant mob, while the center unit marched slightly past the shocked and appalled firewarriors to better position themselves after their inevitable victory. The Terminators, deciding that plasma and fusions shots were best avoided, began to trudge through the ruined building that separated them from their jumpy-shooty-jumpy prey.
Not one to stand on ceremony, the mutants fired off some half hearted rounds and assaulted the blue armored xenos scum, wiping them off the board. They then consolidated towards the hammerhead, unconcerned with its mighty gun still trained upon them. The terminators did a jaunty little run further into the ruin.
Tau: Needing a miracle, the tau commander broke off from his unit and moved towards the isolated armored vehicle. The other suits moved into position to fire upon the terminators through holes in the building. The hammerhead, infinitely confident, stared down the increasingly small mob of mutants coming its way.
The commander fired his airburst round and fusion (or something) into the oncoming mutants, butchering all but 3, and putting a wound on the marine leading them. The hammerhead, feeling the work there was done, shattered the remaining trukk, spilling its new cargo to the ground again, killing 3 in the process. The crisis suits unloaded into the building, killing 3 terminators outright but failing to wound their master.
Beaming with success, the tau commander was shocked to find that, instead of chasing off the mutant scum, his deadly fire had only infuriated them, though one mutant seemed to have irritated it’s marine master, and was splattered across a wall for it.
Turn 4:
Orks: Still riding high on their tide of victory, the central mob of orks, though reduced to 3 men, rushed towards the hammerhead guns blazing. The boss, deciding that his accompanying terminators were too weak, broke off as they trudged towards the edge of the building. The mob on the right, somewhat confused at their sudden lack of a truck, moved over to capture another two objectives.
The orks actually took the time to shoot a little, bouncing some rounds off the crisis team, and firing a rokkit at the hammer head. 6 to hit! 6 to pen! WOOO!! 1 to damage… bloody hell…
Their favorite phase approaching, the terminators prepared to spring into action, ready to finally bloody their power klaws. Rolling to move, they achieved exactly 1” less than was required… and stared stupidly at the xenos just beyond reach.
Tau: Determined to go down in a blaze of glory, the commander rejoined his suits, and closed in on the terminators just poking their heads through the door, and proceeded to melt them to slag, their mighty ceramite shells becoming a molten coffins. (Their former master took note, and remarked that he knew they were not worthy…)
Decided to not back down, no matter the cost, the suits then jumped towards the Word Bearer lord, to find either victory or death in his embrace.
Turn 5:
Orks: The Lord, noting the tau’s desperate courage, grinned darkly behind his helmet, and strode confidently towards his xenos victims. Equally confident, the few remaining mutants continued their advance on the tau tank, firing away at point blank range. 6 to hit! 6 to pen! 1 to damage… WTF?! The chaos gods are indeed capricious.
The tau crisis team braced themselves for impact, and beat mercilessly upon the dark lord of chaos as he charged in. Despite landing many solid blows, his hell forged armor ensured he was unscathed as he easily crushed each and every alien with his dark crozius. In the background, the other chaos marine tore the cannon off of the tank, and attempted to use it as a club, stunning the tank’s driver.
Tau: In a last signal to their air caste fleet, the hammerhead’s driver sent word of their defeat, and a cry to the ethereal to protect them all.
Very fun game over all. 1000 points, while hard to build, really makes for a fast paced and exciting game. It helped that my army outperformed my hopes for them, and that the tau could not shoot to save their lives. I still wonder if perhaps their army was only 890 points or something, since unless those crisis suits are REALLY expensive, it doesn’t seem like there were enough models on the field. The gun toting battlewagon only shot once, sitting the rest of the time as a bunker for the scoring troops within.
Still, great game, and I hope you had fun reading about it
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