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BEGINNING OF ANECDOTE:

I went to the game/comic store today. I'm not sure why. Maybe I was hoping to buy some Official D&D "Caves of Carnage" dungeon tiles or something like that. Maybe I was going to buy some Glade Guard or a Man 'O War Drakhun or shell out $80 for the Descent:Journey's in the Dark box set or pick up a Battle for Skull Pass or Battle of Black reach box. Or maybe I was going to get a whole Wood Elf or Dark Elf Batallion. Anyway I was there and looking around aimlessly for too long and of course when you give the world an opening it usually spikes the ball over the net.

There was this maybe seven year old boy there. He was kind of a fatty with a crew cut. For some reason he decides to walk up to me and talk to me about Choas. He was, as kids are, adorable but he couldn't seem to read body language or shut up. And hey, that's how nature works for a lot of us of at that age. I was not a particularly quiet or non-annoying kid myself. It's nice to know that the wrold has now taken revenge for all the guys I bothered with their late republic roman armies while looking for a Battletech table at a sci-fi con back around '86. Heh. Come to think of it I'm not a particularly quiet or non annoying adult NOW.

The kid had his army there on one of the tables in the back and it looked like it was a Khorne space marine army only everything was kind of flat grey with lots of deep purple ink on it. One of the rhinos had the Dai Gurren Lagann Brigade flaming skull symbol on it.
Like so:



I know all this because he asked me to come back to the gaming area and look at it and I was too stupid to politely decline. Once I was there, he told me all about how Choas had really powerful armies and they were just like space marines only you could have demons and stuff too. And they were not afraid of anything because they were good at fighting and they used mainly axes and stuff. Axes BTW look really cool and they can chop through power armor (In case you didn't know). It was kind of a cute if awkward moment. He asked me if I played 40K and I more or less lied and said "not really".

I was nice. I didn't correct him on how Chaos is really pronounced and spelled and what it means. I just nodded and said "uh huh" while he told me how much a land raider costs and how he wanted to get four of them someday (bad news for Dad's Wallet!) but they could be hard to put together.

I told him that his army looked neat and looked for a polite way to disengage. Then his father saw me suffering (and trying to get a lead-off to escape) so he came over, made a quick introduction, and whisked him away. (Thankfully I did not need to deploy the ninja smokebomb, tell the kid about Michael Moorcock, or put him to sleep with a story about this Ogre Tournament I was in once where I came in third place because one guy freaked out and quit in the finals.)

It made me feel pretty darned old.

Yep. Young Josh is a true servant of Choas. I think the Emorper, the Toa, and the Eldra might be in real trouble.

END OF ANECDOTE

You should have done a neckbreaker or that thing with the pressure point on your shoulders. It cuts down on the time and it's easy to explain that he tripped.

Well it's not like comic book stores don't have insurance to cover smoke damage from ninja smoke bomb escapes.

I guess if his dad hadn't come over I could have let Josh see his first spontaneous, off the cuff, grand mal siezure "simulation". Heck I could have taken down his army with that routine, spit all over the place, and had someone drive me home for "a rest" to boot.

It's not like anybody is going to look me over while I'm flailing and spasming and say "Hey...this guy's pupils aren't fully dilated and his pulse is too regular! I smell a rat! What's the big idea buddy?! What? You think you're too good to talk to my kid? Huh? Do ya neck beard?! "

Luckily it didn't come to such extreme measures. Being polite worked for once. At least he didn't want to talk about Batman being dead or whatever.

I'd still have done the neckbreaker anyway. Don't you ever suffer fits of bloodlust and violence?

I know I do.

Are you sure the kid wasn't talking about Orks? Pronounced... Orks.
Or Speehz mehreenz

namegoeshere wrote:Are you sure the kid wasn't talking about Orks? Pronounced... Orks.
Or Speehz mehreenz

those would be pronounced "hurr" tho, I didnt read anything about baldness or screaming.

Oh boy, I nearly fell from my chair laughing when I read this... At both local stores (a gw store and a local retailer), and at the local gaming club, we have oodles of these little pests. I can't say I don't admire your patience or friendlyness, I'm prone to lose my nerve with young kids... Especially when they start throwing your models around, but that is another story .

The ones that are generally enthusiatic about the hobby never bother me. I don't mind listening to the crazy fluff of their armies, or looking at their horribley painted miniatures. Because they're actually excited about the hobby, and not jaded by years of GWs shennanigins.

The ones that really bother me are the 12-15 year olds. At the GW near me (Franklin Mills) there's always a group of them that sit around and paint. They harrass the employee's, are generally loud, and generally foul mouthed (in that way that 12-15 yr olds curse when they're starting to learn all the curse words). I usually just steer clear of them and ignore them when they talk to me about anything. Sometimes they get so obnoxious though I have to bite my tongue to prevent me from giving them the tongue lashing of submission. I've generally stopped going to the one at Franklin Mills and go to the one in Jersey where there's hardly any unsupervised kids.

It's just a shame that GW employees can also included babysitter to their job requirements.

Stare, really hard and don't say a word. It works wonders.

Hey man, the Dai-Gurren brigade is awesome.

Anyway, I know how you feel. I was playing my first game at the local GW(although I now have an LGS for that), and I was fielding my GKs. Kids came up to the table, asking how many space marines each model could kill.

Of course, being Grey Knights, I gave the proper answer: As many as he bloody wants to.

palaeomerus wrote:...or put him to sleep with a story about this Ogre Tournament I was in once where I came in third place because one guy freaked out and quit in the finals.)

It made me feel pretty darned old.

Any story about O.G.R.E. is sure to make anyone feel old. How old are you? If you have played O.G.R.E. you must be atleast 75.

I get all nostalgic thinking about late nights playing Ogre and Car Wars at sleepovers when I was a wee lad.

That muct make you, like, 80 or something.

Like, wow dude. Old people playing games is pretty mega awesomesauce.

Did you old farts, like, use rocks to play O.G.R.E, or was this after lead was invented?

Forgive my insolence but what is O.G.R.E?

Why would anyone run a WFB tournament and only allow Ogre Kingdom players? That doesn't make any sense.

BrotherStynier wrote:Forgive my insolence but what is O.G.R.E?

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/5206

The dread one feels as the Ogre rides in from the sea (its coming!!!!) really adds nice tension to this game. Basically it is one of the reasons why we have 40K today as it was possibly one of the most popular wargames of its time.

er...I mean...only really old cranky farts play this stupid game.

For a (stupid) game only cranky Old Farts play it does sound interesting. Its cool to see where some of the influence for more modern table top games.

Yeah, for a game that originally cost $3 (the original cheap ass game!) it has had an amazing amount of influence.

I bet the old farts can remember talking about this game as if it was chess.

Good story.


O.G.R.E., too.


Good times.... good times....

You should have ate the kid, though. A true Slave to Darkness would have.

I think Choas is pretty cool guy, eh has axes and doesn't afraid of anything.

The kids I met usually called it Chey-oz, especially Ten-zetch and Ka-horne (hello shawn at bluetablepainting... )

I love it when they have constructed amazing stories about their warriors and superuber characters. Refreshingly free of the cynicism the rest of us accumulated over the years.

there is this super choas guy karn an dhe is uder cool it was him who win my frist game

Hellfury wrote:

palaeomerus wrote:...or put him to sleep with a story about this Ogre Tournament I was in once where I came in third place because one guy freaked out and quit in the finals.)

It made me feel pretty darned old.

Any story about O.G.R.E. is sure to make anyone feel old. How old are you? If you have played O.G.R.E. you must be atleast 75.

I'm either 37, or senile enough to believe that I'm still 37. One of the two.

Well, I remember OGRE (and the rest of the Microgames!) very well. I payed 2.95 for it. But I prefer to be called a curmudgeon, thank you.

As for the hilarious story...I think when they build game/comic stores they include several customers (most kids, but not all) like that in the blueprints. They live in small closets, feeding on leftover Cheetos and Dr. Pepper, until they see a potential victim and then they pounce. The last one I ran into played Cygnar in WM. He was a nice enough kid, but he had one volume (way too loud) and he always wanted to play me for some reason. So I would field my Menites, look at his neon blue Long Gunners and wait for the opening he would always give me to kill his warcaster. Usually happened around turn 3. What bothered me wasn't him (excpet for his loudness) really, it was that even after players would point out his mistakes and tell him how to avoid them, he would do the same things in every game. In one ear and out the other.

Oh, and I also had GEV, the sequel to OGRE that concentrated more on the tanks and infantry. I've often thought that if someone were to do pdf-based Micorgames today, charging $3-$5 for a download, they'd make a killing.

ugh.

I've met this one kid, about say, 11-ish. he played the emperor's finest (space marines) He engaged a conversation, which of course I was happy to oblige (I don't wanna be mean...) anyway, he apparently was new to the game, and he played Dark Angels. Eventually, I engaged in a friendly game with my Orks. First thing he says is "i read the black reach book and it says that when orks fight marines, marines always go first". I kindly pointed out that we were not playing black reach. He of course nodded his head, but the worst thing ever happened.

During his turn, he declares that ALL his space marine infantrymen are going to pull out their sidearms, fire, and then assault my mob of orks. Once again, I kindly point out that there was no such rule. He starts whining that I was cheating. He made a whole scene and he threw a tantrum like a five year old while I packed up my Boyz (after about the fourth minute of his tantrum) and picked up a game of Fantasy with a friend.

eh, oh well I guess....

Marines carry sidearms?

That's not even in black reach!

I though all Space Marines were equipped with bolt pistols, its in the 5th Ed codex, or did I miss something in the story?

Oh wait you said Dark Angels, any way I still think they all carry bolt pistols as well.

Nope, 'fraid not Stynier. It'd be kinda cool if they did though......

Oops. Sorry.

Cryonicleech wrote:During his turn, he declares that ALL his space marine infantrymen are going to pull out their sidearms, fire, and then assault my mob of orks. Once again, I kindly point out that there was no such rule. He starts whining that I was cheating. He made a whole scene and he threw a tantrum like a five year old while I packed up my Boyz (after about the fourth minute of his tantrum) and picked up a game of Fantasy with a friend.

eh, oh well I guess....

Yeah...

Umm...I kinda hate to say this since this thread is about making fun of children, but the kid was right.
Its rather difficult to find a unit in the DA codex that DOESN'T have bolt pistols...

Its actually kind of funny that a kid who threw a temper tantrum knew the rules better than you.

*points and laughs*