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In an "Oh gak" moment. When, and why, have you had these? Mine mostly occur when trying to decide if a human hand should be bleeding like that.

EDIT: Because my hand slipped while using the hobby knife.

The first time I landed in Iraq.

Hiding under a married woman's bed as her x marine husband wandered around for like 3 hours.

This one time I made out with a chick I had just met and found out she was my friends girl, and he had saw us making out in my car, and not knowing she was his, I gave him a big thumbs up.

Actually having to use a balcony knot. Similar to sexiest_hero's stories.

Angry dads.

When I was a junior in high school and the biggest guy in the school decided to start a fight with me for no reason. I just put my head down and went crazy. It was a bloody draw, which was as good as it could have turned out.

Banging the daughter of a Marine drill instructors daughter when her dad walks in

Driving at 140km/hr when a kangaroo leapt the fence alonside the road, hopped into the middle of the road, and looked at me....

Kangaroo -1
My car -1
Me +1

Cool. The biggest thing I've terminated with a car was a beaver. What a beaver was doing in KCMO I have no idea, but it was awesome in a bloody THUMP! sort of way.

sexiest_hero wrote:The first time I landed in Iraq.

Hiding under a married woman's bed as her x marine husband wandered around for like 3 hours.

This one time I made out with a chick I had just met and found out she was my friends girl, and he had saw us making out in my car, and not knowing she was his, I gave him a big thumbs up.

grizgrin wrote:Actually having to use a balcony knot. Similar to sexiest_hero's stories.

Angry dads.

wilsmire wrote:Banging the daughter of a Marine drill instructors daughter when her dad walks in

YAY! I have an excuse for telling a joke.


God gave man a **** and a brain, but only enough blood to use one at a time.

Most days on the river, with stupid people driving pleasure boats fast, in a single weighing less that my legs.

sA

I occasionaly drive on interstate highway 435. Trust me, it counts as taking your life in your hands, especially in rush hour, on fridays.

warpcrafter wrote:Cool. The biggest thing I've terminated with a car was a beaver. What a beaver was doing in KCMO I have no idea, but it was awesome in a bloody THUMP! sort of way.

One time a few years ago when I used to deliver pizza's for Domino's, some dumb cat shot out in the middle of the road....it hunched down so I'd hoped that it might clear the underside of the car....nope. One "THUMP" later I looked in my rear veiw mirror to see it spazzing out in the middle of the road.

I pulled over, saw that a portion of its face was totally caved in. I could'nt handle it twitching like it was so I broke its neck for it. I was able to locate the owner in a house that this happened right in front of. I had apparently just ruined a 9yo girls slumber party with her friends. Talk about a miserable feeling.

I went back to the Domino's that I worked at...told my Manager (I was actually the assistant manager) that I was going to need about 30 min of a break. I then went to work personally making a nice "party package" of ten assorted pizza's (wasted food at these places is nothing). I went back to the house and apparently saved some portion of the party....since the mother wrote the store a letter saying so.

Basically the going rate for a little girls cat is 10 pizza's.

I never did put the "kill marking" on my fender.

Deadshane1 wrote:

warpcrafter wrote:Cool. The biggest thing I've terminated with a car was a beaver. What a beaver was doing in KCMO I have no idea, but it was awesome in a bloody THUMP! sort of way.

Basically the going rate for a little girls cat is 10 pizza's.

I never did put the "kill marking" on my fender.

Just wait till you hear this. On the way up to my school a deer pops out of the woods. My mom and i look at it, to see it running alongside the car. (brand new scion. she would have been pissed.) We see he's trying to reach us, but just barely misses. moral of the story: Deers have a horrible depth perception.

Deadshane1 wrote:

Basically the going rate for a little girls cat is 10 pizza's.

I never did put the "kill marking" on my fender.

Sigged!

Lordhat wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:

Basically the going rate for a little girls cat is 10 pizza's.

I never did put the "kill marking" on my fender.

Sigged!

Same here.

Waaagh_Gonads wrote:Driving at 140km/hr when a kangaroo leapt the fence alonside the road, hopped into the middle of the road, and looked at me....

Kangaroo -1
My car -1
Me +1

I did that too... in a friend's car... OUCH

Mik

I ran over an alligator with my mustang once. I was doing about 60 and I think I sliced off the top hide of it, because it turned parrallel just as I was on top of it. The thing was rolling end over end when I looked in the rear view mirror. There was no way I was going back to see if it was ok.

GG

See thats a sin right there. Properly cooked gator is tasty.

Hmm for me my worst moment like that would be finding myself in bed with a guy who's wife i knew had just been locked up for almost killing a girl for chatting up her man....*shudder* i don't know which god helped me that day but thanks!!

just to clarify sleeping in the same bed not doing anything I wasn't suposed to be with someone elses husband!!

Frazzled wrote:Properly cooked gator is tasty.

I totaly agree but I wasn't willing to test my reflexes as he may have been one ticked off gator. + he was about 4 footer and he may have had friends.

GG

Let's see: an 'oh god' moment.

There was the time I fell through a rotting roof and had the bed of a truck break my fall [and ribs].

The time when some crazy dumbshit hit the rear passenger side of my truck.

And Frazzled is right, properly cooked gator is tasty, but only if you have it with a serving of properly cooked children [come to Georgia! All the kids are 'country folk' and are very lean.]!

There was a time where i tried to jump over my pool. Turns out i broke my jaw and got it wired shut OUCH

generalgrog wrote:

Frazzled wrote:Properly cooked gator is tasty.

I totaly agree but I wasn't willing to test my reflexes as he may have been one ticked off gator. + he was about 4 footer and he may have had friends.

GG

You need a taser to subdue it and an axe to chop off the tail, that's where the best meat is. If I lived down there that's what I would do. I've only had gator once. I really miss it.

nothing says oh crap like washing some random chemicals you got into off yoru hands, and having skin go with it.
needing to wrap your fingers in cotton to stop a pants zipper from hurting is not cool.

and in the same line as earlier posts- finding out the weekend fling was actually married

I went around a sharp corner doing 60mph in a 35 in a ford ranger, and I had the back fishtail out. It spun me around in a 180 into the oncoming lane. Where an oncoming car was (who luckily changed lanes and avoided me).

http://maps.google.com/?ie=UTF8&ll=39.263205,-76.567873&spn=0.001433,0.003404&t=h&z=19

There's the corner. That large building on the right that has a commanding view of said corner is the Maryland Port Police Headquarters. After collecting my wits I drove off as soon as possible. Drive casual...

Was really drunk the other night and I had just picked up the girl I am dating with the DD. We get back to my place and right as I let her in the door, I immediately had to run off and vomit off my front porch. Needless to say my prayers were not answered. I then proceeded to Black out for a little bit. But my one prayer was answered as we are still going out.

greenskin lynn wrote:nothing says oh crap like washing some random chemicals you got into off yoru hands, and having skin go with it.
needing to wrap your fingers in cotton to stop a pants zipper from hurting is not cool.

and in the same line as earlier posts- finding out the weekend fling was actually married

Been there. I have many times mixed terrifyingly potent cleaning chemicals at my and other people's peril, with nasty results. Good times.

Waaagh_Gonads wrote:Driving at 140km/hr when a kangaroo leapt the fence alonside the road, hopped into the middle of the road, and looked at me....

Kangaroo -1
My car -1
Me +1

Better hope you never meet a wombat, then. They kill trucks. Cars come off really bad.
'Roos will jump into the car with you if your window's open (really bad thing if you're driving, and it's your window - as they instinctively kick anything in the way, including the back of your head.). They're the reason 'country' 4WDs have big bumpers - they aren't 'Bull' bars, they're 'roo bars.

When I accidentally gashed my thumb open at work on a piece of broken glazed ceramic tile (I was emptying a bin at the time). Splash of red, and me quickly grabbing it with my other hand, applying pressure and then going to the office and asking for a 'band-aid', saying "I've cut myself.".

Office girl went greenish and called the boss over, who dropped me at the med cent to get it stitched up (7 stitches). Basically flensed my thumb between the webbing and back of nail. Bisected the radial nerve and still have only partial feeling in the tip. This was 22 years ago. I've been more careful since.

After a drunken night out we were driving back from the club, I was in the back seat along with the girl (now my wife) I had just at the time started seeing, two of my friends were up front. We were going (rather stupidly) at 100 mph when the driver had to swerve - we hit a concrete bollard which smashed in two, the car flipped, rolled twice and skidded along on it's roof, we took out a fence, 2 road signs and some power lines. I (even more stupidly) wasn't wearing a seat belt and bounced off the back window of the car. The car was a complete wreck and we had to crawl out of the windows over broken glass. Somehow none of us were hurt.

Frazzled wrote:See thats a sin right there. Properly cooked gator is tasty.

Yea, and Gators think that properly chewed human is tasty! Keep driving!

Excommunicate Traitoris wrote:After a drunken night out we were driving back from the club, I was in the back seat along with the girl (now my wife) I had just at the time started seeing, two of my friends were up front. We were going (rather stupidly) at 100 mph when the driver had to swerve - we hit a concrete bollard which smashed in two, the car flipped, rolled twice and skidded along on it's roof, we took out a fence, 2 road signs and some power lines. I (even more stupidly) wasn't wearing a seat belt and bounced off the back window of the car. The car was a complete wreck and we had to crawl out of the windows over broken glass. Somehow none of us were hurt.

Excellent to see a fellow Dakka car roller.