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2009/04/14 15:15:46
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Sslimey Sslyth
Busy somewhere, airin' out the skin jobs.
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Today's episode: "Good Morning Deputy"
Typical greetings from inmates.
"Yo Dep, F*** you!"
"Yo Dep, turn da TV on b****!"
A brief exchange just this morning:
Inmate-"Yo Dep, you aint sh**!"
Myself- "Yea? Well you ARE sh**!"
Inmate-"Yea? But you a peice a sh**!"
....genius.
Inmate- "Yo Dep, can I use da jack. (slang for phone)"
Myself- "No not yet, the phone doesnt start rotation until 9 this morning."
Inmate-"Well f*** you 'den!" (a great way to get the phone from me later I might add)
....Tune in for our next episode: "Feeding time at the zoo!"
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I have never failed to seize on 4+ in my life!
The best 40k page in the Universe
COMMORRAGH |
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2009/04/14 15:51:12
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Executing Exarch
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Sounds like a great job 
well at least you have good medical right?
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2009/04/14 15:57:56
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Dominating Dominatrix
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Already looking forward to the next instalment 
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2009/04/14 15:58:30
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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Wow..that would be a tough job. How do you guys keep from letting your emotions get out of control to the point of clubbing an inmate like a baby seal?
GG
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2009/04/14 15:59:20
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Painting Within the Lines
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That is why criminals forfeit their human rights and should be used as slaves to the betterment of mankind.
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2009/04/14 16:16:00
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Sslimey Sslyth
Busy somewhere, airin' out the skin jobs.
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Clthomps wrote:Sounds like a great job
well at least you have good medical right?
Not so bad...on both counts.
Anung Un Rama wrote:Already looking forward to the next instalment
...lunch feeding is in like 15min.
generalgrog wrote:Wow..that would be a tough job. How do you guys keep from letting your emotions get out of control to the point of clubbing an inmate like a baby seal?
GG
Two words, patience, vigilance.
1. Eventually, an inmate is going to do something REALLY stupid...like turn on me in a "threatening manner", turn on someone else in a "threatening manner".
2. You just have to be aware enough and ready to be proactive and get in the first aggressive move.
THAT makes it worth it. When its "GO time".
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I have never failed to seize on 4+ in my life!
The best 40k page in the Universe
COMMORRAGH |
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2009/04/14 16:20:28
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Deadshot Weapon Moderati
Under the Himalaiyan mountains
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A brief exchange just this morning:
Inmate-"Yo Dep, you aint sh**!"
Myself- "Yea? Well you ARE sh**!"
Inmate-"Yea? But you a peice a sh**!"
....genius.
^That is epic. next time you go to work, bring a tape recorder and post the audio on here as an mp3.
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"I.. I know my time has come" Tethesis said with a gasp, a torrent of blood flowing from his lips.
"No! Hang on brother!!" Altharius could feel the warmth slip away from his dear sibling's hands
Tethesis's reached out his bloodied arm to Altharius's face.
"I..I have one final request"
Altharius leaned close to listen, tears welling in his once bright eyes.
"make sure th..they put my soulstone in a tank... it'll be... real fethin' cool"
"Yes, you're gonna be the most fethin' cool tank!!" burning hot tears streaked down Altharius's face, as he held his brother's soul in his grasp.
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2009/04/14 17:21:38
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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Be safe.
If you see Madoff, watch your wallet.
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-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2009/04/14 22:00:12
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Leutnant
Hiding in a dark alley with a sharp knife!
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THAT makes it worth it. When its "GO time".
As someone who has spent most of their adult life in corrections (17 years and counting as a State CO) I can certainly confirm that one! 
I'm not normally a very violent guy, but I must confess that it's quite enjoyable when I get to put my hands on one of my charges. It's amazing how quickly their attitude will often change (at least for a few minutes) after that.
Can I play in this thread too? Like I said with 17+ years in corrections (most of which was spent in high security areas) I've got tons of amusing stories to share as well.
TR
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Former Kommandant, KZ Dakka
"I was Oldhammer before Oldhammer was cool!"
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2009/04/14 22:05:38
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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We all know they bug you except on "Take Your Sturmgeweyr to Work" Day Trenchie. Then they are amazingly quiet...
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/04/14 22:06:00
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2009/04/14 22:37:31
Subject: Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Leutnant
Hiding in a dark alley with a sharp knife!
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Frazzled wrote:We all know they bug you except on "Take Your Sturmgeweyr to Work" Day Trenchie. Then they are amazingly quiet...
hehe...if only!
TR
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Former Kommandant, KZ Dakka
"I was Oldhammer before Oldhammer was cool!"
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2009/04/14 22:42:45
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Love your sig! Why does MDG need to be put in his place so often?
By the way, what state do you work in? There's a chance you've met more than one waste of oxygen that I went to high school with.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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2009/04/15 00:22:29
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Leutnant
Hiding in a dark alley with a sharp knife!
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Love your sig! Why does MDG need to be put in his place so often?
Mindless fanboyism always needs to be given a good beat down! 
By the way, what state do you work in?
Texas.
I'm sure you will understand why I won't indentify the specific unit i currently work at.
TR
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Former Kommandant, KZ Dakka
"I was Oldhammer before Oldhammer was cool!"
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2009/04/15 01:48:44
Subject: Re:Tales from the Jail: A collection and blog of silly stories from where I work.
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Nasty Nob on Warbike with Klaw
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Yeah, that sort of thing could get around. Anyway, I can't see any of the scumbags I was referring to scraping together enough gas money to make it all the way to Texas. If they did, they most likely would get their Darwin award long before the authorities get involved. Memories of them is what keeps me out of trouble. That and my bad knees.
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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! |
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