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This is a slightly silly thread for describing Home Alonesque home defences, made using our humble miniatures.

Do not feel limited to GW models only. If it's a wargames model, it's legitimate enough for this thread.

To start the ball rolling, I am going for the obvious one first.

Punji Stake Trap, made using a couple of dozen regiments worth of the 4th Edition Plastic Goblin Spearman. Absolutely, positively guaranteed to maim, and possibly kill, time after time. Seriously. I trod on one once. It hurt and bled a lot. Gobbo? Not even a bent spear!

NEXT!

I put a metal chaos dread on top of a door that I left ajar, so when my friend stepped through, he got a mighty smack on the head. This knocked him out, and dented the Dread.

I would probably make some sort of IED involving over a hundred plastic 40k dark elf warriors, a can of white primer, a flame, and some Tentacle Pink paint.

I would tie my Defilers to strings and hang them over the stairs so I could swing them down onto the intruders.

Defilers hurt.

Trip wires tied to drop pods filled with lead. Or a Leman Russ tank with a spring-loaded dart launcher in the turret. Poison for the darts could probably be mixed up with glue, paint, and the chemical remover for each.

I'd just drop all my unpainted minis on any intruder they would (A) be knocked out cold..or (B) be buried alive...effective either way.

I'd get a ninja to jump down and throw dark eldar at them.

I'd put pressure plates on the floor that, when pressed, cause dozens of Dark Eldar Warriors covered in salt to pop up and painfully impale their feet. They would stagger backwards onto another pressure plate that opens compartments in the walls containing cans of spray-paint with lighters on the nozzles. As the little doors opened fully, the lighters would ignite and the nozzles would be squeezed, turning my opponent into a screaming spiky inferno. Once they were dead, I would piss on them, gak in their mouths, rape their body, stuff it full of timebombs, and ship it to Jervis. Once he opens the box, precisely three seconds after seeing the body, the bombs will detonate, destroying Jervis and allowing Phil Kelly and other sensible people to become heads of GW.

And that's how we avert World War III.

id launch gargoyles at them
p.s. is it legal to sharpen the blades of your metal models to a killing edge and throw them at you opponent if your not happy with the roll

I'd get an old Nagash model and just ugly the intruders to death.