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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/09/15 15:01:31
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Khorne Rhino Driver with Destroyer
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A GRIMDARK fairy tale by Deathbot
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An Imperial storyteller had gathered all the children of a village together. He said, "Listen closely children, and I will tell you the tale of the three little cyber-pigs and the daemon wolf. It goes something like this..."
Once upon a time, there were three little cyber-pigs who lived happily in a the countryside. One built his house out of straw, because he was an idiot. He had no faith in the Emperor, and thought only of himself. Another built his house out of wood, because he had cleared a forest to make room for it. This little pig pretended to have faith in the Emperor, but inside he had none. The last built his house out of steel. This little pig had an iron will and unbreakable faith in the Emperor.
One day, the big bad Chaos daemon wolf came along. He found the house of the first pig, and he said, "Come out little pig, or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down." The pig laughed in his face from inside the house. So the wolf huffed and he puffed, but that had no affect whatsoever on the house. The daemon wolf realized that blowing on enough tightly piled bundles of straw to make a house would do absolutely nothing, because that would weigh hundreds of pounds. So instead he took out a flamer and set the house on fire. When the little pig ran out, the daemon wolf pounced on him and ate his soul.
His hunger for souls not satisfied, the daemon looked for further victims. Soon enough, he came upon the house of the second pig. When the pig saw him, he ran inside. So the wolf set this house on fire too. As before, when the pig came running out, the wolf ate his soul.
Seeking even more souls, the daemon wolf found the house of the third pig. Instead of running into his house like a coward as the other pigs had done, the third little pig grabbed his chainsword and charged the surprised wolf. With a great cry of "For the Emperor!" the third little pig beheaded the foul daemon where he stood. He then knelt and prayed to the Emperor, thanking him for this victory. He took the wolf's head and mounted in on his wall over the fireplace as a trophy. The end.
So what do you guys think?
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"We iz gonna stomp da ‘ooniverse flat an’ kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz’ we’re Orks an’ we was made ta fight an’ win!"
-Ghazghkull Thraka
"KILL! MAIM! BURN! KILL! MAIM! BURN!"
-Kharn the Betrayer
"Well that was unexpected..."
-Last words of Chaos Warmaster Varan the Undefeatable
"There is no such thing as a plea of innocence in my court. A plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time. Guilty!"
-Inquisitor Lord Fyodor Karamazov |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/09/15 20:32:06
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Junior Officer with Laspistol
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ha, that was funny. where did a cyber pig get a chainsword? And would a daemon use a flamer? guess he hasn't heard of the SoB, huh? great story, anyway.
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Pretre: OOOOHHHHH snap. That's like driving away from hitting a pedestrian.
Pacific:First person to Photoshop a GW store into the streets of Kabul wins the thread.
Selym: "Be true to thyself, play Chaos" - Jesus, Daemon Prince of Cegorach.
H.B.M.C: You can't lobotomise someone twice. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/09/16 01:37:47
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Fanatic with Madcap Mushrooms
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The Daemon should spit fire, and the pigs should be ratlings...
Good story though!
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Some people play to win, some people play for fun. Me? I play to kill toy soldiers.
DR:90S++GMB++IPwh40k206#+D++A++/hWD350R+++T(S)DM+
WHFB, AoS, 40k, WM/H, Starship Troopers Miniatures, FoW
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/09/23 12:05:15
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Gore-Soaked Lunatic Witchhunter
Australia (Recently ravaged by the Hive Fleet Ginger Overlord)
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LOL.
That was epic. You sir, have a career has a babysitter/kindergarden teacher.
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Smacks wrote:
After the game, pack up all your miniatures, then slap the guy next to you on the ass and say.
"Good game guys, now lets hit the showers" |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/10/10 21:19:43
Subject: Re:Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Newbie Black Templar Neophyte
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Haha, nice
IMO, the pigs should be guardsmen and the wolf maybe a dark elf or a burna boy
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/10/10 21:20:26
My death will be avenged millions of rapid fire las bolts, followed by a plethora of heavy weapons artillery and other colorful assortments of death that will send chaos crying back to the warp where they will remain until they come up with another one of their "original" plans
"Pain is temporary, Honour is forever" |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/10/10 21:33:52
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Swift Swooping Hawk
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Cyber pigs = heresy. Just saying.
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The Battle Report Master wrote:i had a freind come round a few weeks ago to have a 40k apocalpocalpse game i was guards men he was space maines.... my first turn was 4 bonbaonbardlements... jacobs turn to he didnt have one i phased out. This space for rent, contact Gwar! for rights to this space.
Tantras wrote: Logically speaking, that makes perfect sense and I understand and agree entirely... but is it RAW? |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/10/11 06:28:07
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Sinewy Scourge
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lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
lollollollollollollollollollollollollollollol
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/10/17 14:51:00
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Killer Klaivex
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+1 internets to you, good sir.
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People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2009/10/18 00:27:41
Subject: Three Little Pigs, 40k Style
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Regular Dakkanaut
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Good work!
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http://www.deathsquadsgame.com/
A fan-based small-scale skirmish game designed to enhance the gaming experience of the never ending wars of the futuristic 41st Millennium
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