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We've all heard some truly aweful ones, some very funny ones and some which are just rude.

Have you ever used one, or seen someone else use one, that worked or resulted in an awkward moment that lead to a black eye?

Two of my personal favorite are

"fair play you don't sweat much for a fat girl"

followed by

"get in the van"

So good people of Dakka share your experiences here!

"Are you straight?"

"Well, then you should be on the narrow!"

The backfire potential is obvious.

"Details please, including tests and inoculations within the last thirty days."

"I can neither confirm nor deny FEMA being in cahoots with the CDC with respect to the creation of a weaponized transgenic virus, but then again, it looks like the test you were a part of was a spectacular failure!"

"Next! Wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!"

You got any Cornish in you, my luverly?

erm, no...

Would you like some?

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK."

"How much will a 20 get me?"

"How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?"

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

"Nice legs; what time do they open?"

"Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?"

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, except down under..."

"I'm sine squared theta; you're cosine squared theta. Together we are one."

"Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants."

"The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word."

"That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too."

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

"I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock."

"Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!"

"Breathe if you're horny. Alright! score!"

"My magical watch says you don't have panties on. Oh, you do? Must be an hour fast."

"You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?"

"I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle."

"I'm like a Rubik's Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get."

"I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you."

"I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?"

"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"

Your eyes are like spanners. They make my nuts tighten.

Do you work at Subway? Cause you have just given me a foot-long!

(To two or more girls) I don't wanna come between you, or do I?

Hey, wench, can my little soldier invade your Bay of Pigs?

Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

Have you gotten your car started? Because I am ready to burn some rubber tonight!

That dress would look real nice on my floor.

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?

Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.

Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?

Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.

I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.


If I was Schindler, I'd put YOU on my List!

Did it hurt? - She: Did what hurt? - When you fell out of heaven?~

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.~

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.

Teh_K42 wrote:".......................................................x50

Blimey have you been waiting for this topic to come up! Its like that 600+ line "Space Marines shalt not" list

There was more cheese there than some of the WAAC lists you see. Still I would profer the following;

Do you like jewellry? Well suck my cock its a gem!

And

Nice legs, they would look great wrapped around my face!

I will be here all week - I thank you and good night!

MODs you may now commence lock!

If I read or see something funny on the internet, and it doesn't need two pages of context, I save it.

I am gathering a hefty pile of funny rubbish.

Girl is eating chicken

" I see you enjoy the taste of c*ck"

sexiest_hero wrote:Girl is eating chicken

" I see you enjoy the taste of c*ck"

I always thought 'Do you like chicken? Then suck my c**k, it's fowl' carried more class...

Nice shoes. Lets ****.

Two of my friends will go to bars and have competitions to see how many numbers they can get using that line. The female friend always wins.

MeanGreenStompa wrote:

sexiest_hero wrote:Girl is eating chicken

" I see you enjoy the taste of c*ck"

I always thought 'Do you like chicken? Then suck my c**k, it's fowl' carried more class...

Oh its classy and chicken related you want then try this;

When observing strumpet eating a KFC or Halal-fried-chicken take a bite of your drumstick and comment thus;

I see you like cxck, do you mind if I put my bone in you greasy box?

a-thank-you!

"Great f**king weather. Want to?"

"Excuse me miss, would you mind dancing with a mild mannered pervert?"

"Let's play reverse child birth! I call baby!" (guarnteed to get you smacked."

"I have daddy problems. Wanna make me one?"

Do you like Christmas? Pull my knob, it's a cracker!

Hey baby, wana see my igloo?

You must be a ticket because you have fine written all over you!

Can we just remind everyone about the PG 13 rating we..attempt.. to keep to, we really don't want or need people "cunningly" working their way around the word filter either with *** or similar. Ta.