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Where does your Captain go? He seems kind of pointless in his setup and there isn't really a place for him. If you want a CC Captain I'd go Relic Blade, Storm Shield.

Take a Land Raider for your Assault Terminators, otherwise you'll have 5 guys walking around doing absolutely nothing for the whole game.

I'd drop the regular Terminators and maybe the fists on the Tacticals to pick up the Land Raider. Otherwise pick up a heavy weapon, it's really the only reason to take them.

Assault Squad is small, I'd up to 10 and take two flamers after some point managements.

Tacticals should be on Rhinos, it's almost required in this day and age. Also, I'd give your Sergeant a bolter instead of bolt pistol, you don't get the extra attack anyway.

Devastators are a waste of points, not efficient at all. But if you're set on them up the count to 10 so you can combat squad so you're not wasting half the weapons.

Predators should drop the TLLC, it'll free up points for my other suggestions.

Good luck, peace.

A few main points.

1. Your captain and your assault squad are at odds. You've got a Captain that as far as I can tell, will be a an IC running solo, which just screams "Kill Me" and you've got an under strength assault squad. Kill two birds with one stone by swapping your captain with a Jump Pack chaplain. Also, be aware that an Assault Squad won't be able to go toe to toe with dedicated CC units from other armies. They're much more effective at harassing weaker units, so use them to bully Firewarriors, IG squads and the like.

2. Get rid of the Devastators. They are also a bullet magnet, and you don;t have enough spare wound guys to keep them alive for too long. Instead invest in a predator identical to the one you have.

3. I say this the nicest way posssible, but your terminators are all fethed up. First, there's no reason to take the three pairs of lightning claws. TH/SS are just plain better. Great against infantry, good against vehicles, and the three without storm sheilds are three wounds you're just begging to take.

Second, you need a heavy weapon for the other Terminators. Bits order a Cyclone misslie launcher or something. You also need either transport, or teleport homers for your Tac squads, so you can deepstrike those terminators where you need them.

4. That scout squad, find a way to fit a heavy weapon in there. A missile launcher or Hellfire Round firing at bs 6 (because of Telion's special rule) is gonna be a huge PITA for your opponent.

5. Mechanize those tac squads. Rhinos are good, as are Drop Pods.

6. The Dreadnought needs some work. As it stand right now, it is going to be a turn or two before it can get in range for the Multi-Melta to work really well. Depending on what kind of transport you get for your tac squads, you might want to either make it a fire support Dread (Missle launchers, Lascannons, Assault Cannon, Auto Cannon) and have it stay in the rear, or, you can keep the current configuration and drop pod it, if you get drop pods for the Tac squads.

7. know I've prescribed a lot of changes. As it stand right now, the Assault terminators are and the Devastators are the most erroneous units. Get ride of them to make the other changes, and maybe think about increasing your list size to the ever popular 1850.

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Sorry Space Marines don't foot slog. If you set up at a shooty list you can do a little better.