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So I have a question for my fellow Dakka readers. What are your opinions on workplace romances? I have always been of the opinion that girls I work with are off-limits, but now the temptation to ask some of these pretty ladies out has been overwhelmingly strong. What are your opinions / past experiences with dating in the workplace?

Wherever and whenever possible, never gak on your own doorstep.

Try and keep your work and your personal life separate.

If you enter into a relationship be prepared to have your relationship mentioned and talked about by your co-workers and expect any bust ups or issues to be claimed by the public domain.

Alot of it also depends on your work environment. Some places are a bit more tolerant of it, and some will fire both of you.

Thaanos wrote:So I have a question for my fellow Dakka readers. What are your opinions on workplace romances? I have always been of the opinion that girls I work with are off-limits, but now the temptation to ask some of these pretty ladies out has been overwhelmingly strong. What are your opinions / past experiences with dating in the workplace?

My wife won't let me.

lol
I had a workplace romance once.
How I loved that office

How big is the company, how closely are you working with them?

What is the difference in rank between you and the girl. When I stepped up into management, it was made very clear that you should not 'dip your quill in the company ink'...

Of course, if you're single, she's single and you are sure that it won't influence your working relationships and capacity to do your job, get stuck in.

There's an old saying: "Don't gak where you eat."

From experience, it is very, very true. If things go South, you're in for a world of drama.

Dunno. Only job I ever had with a female I'd consider boning was the Army. It's not against the rules per say, (well, it is in BCT, but that didn't stop me) but it's pretty heavily discouraged. Looking for a long term relationship with a fellow soldier is futile, anyway. Differences in rank can make things awkward, deployments don't give a flying feth about your love life, and there's of course the ever present possibility that your partner might suffer death or disfigurement.

Nice colourful use of the vernacular Endova
Appreciate it could have been more colourful, but still...
thought this was supposed to be a family show and we are waaaay before the watershed here

Generally speaking not a fantastic idea, but I went out with a member of staff when I was an assistant manager once. She was leaving for a six month stint teaching in Belize, so my boss wasn't that bothered, but gave a proviso that if we picked things up on her return, she wouldn't be re-employed.

We did pick things up and she found another job. Aside from my marriage, it was the best relationship I ever had. So, generally not a fantastic idea, but if you're both up for it, sod your colleagues, your managers and common sense and just go for it.

The important thing is always, always, always take "No" for an answer, even if you think she might be playing hard to get. Continually hassling somebody in this day and age is only go to lead to problems and possible disciplinary procedures.

Discretion is the main thing you have to deal with in a working relationship. When my wife and I began dating, we had been working together for some years, although we were in different departments. It took perhaps 2 or 3 months before any of our coworkers realized that we were dating. Shortly thereafter, we both quit but for unrelated reasons. I was graduating college, and she was starting it that fall.

So, having carried a workplace romance to completion, I can't say its a good idea.

Here is the advice I can give you-

1. Lock the door.
2. No PDA. The longer you can go without arousing suspicion the better.
3. Keep your priorities straight. When you're working, your coworkers first and 'good friends' second.
4. Don't under any circumstances make it public. If it comes out that you were dating, and had been for some time, it is far less damaging to your professional credibility than having the office follow you through the first kiss, first date, and first night over.
5. Seriously, lock the door. You are not the last ones in the building, and everyone else is not occupied. Making the mistake of ignoring this will at best get you fired if your boss catches you, and at worst get some candid shots of you and your SO on facebook if your coworkers catch you.

Good luck! You're playing with fire, and have hundreds of ways to get burned. It can certainly be worth it- but odds are it will not.

None of you have discussed the joys of legal actions yet...

Too right
the legal **** really hit the fan when I was caught snogging the photocopier

I always hear folks say it's a bad idea, I've never been there so I can't say for sure. but if it's meant to be it's meant to be. There's a few couples at my company, and it's owned by a husband and wife duo, so they don't frown on it at all. But I think most companies don't like it. If you're in a really big company where you don't work together at all, then that should be fine. If she sits in the cube right next to you, I dunno..

Bunker wrote:There's an old saying: "Don't gak where you eat."

From experience, it is very, very true. If things go South, you're in for a world of drama.

Speaking from experience, thats very true. I perosnally wont ever do it again, that and Im married BUT results can be different I guess

Generaly a very bad idea, one of the things which keeps relationships strong is having different things to talk about. If you have spent all day together in work and then all of your spare time together at home/going out then you will run out of things to say very quickly. It is also at this point that little quirks and character traits which otherwise wouldn't bother you will really start to grate when you are with someone nearly 24/7.
Also how will it affect your work? Check your employee handbook/contract to see where the company stand on this, also have a think about how awkward work could be if you start going out, split up and have to continue working together. Or if you ask her out and she takes it completely the wrong way and complains about you perving on her!

Not trying to put you off, but make sure you consider all the angles before diving in


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:Too right
the legal **** really hit the fan when I was caught snogging the photocopier

Hey! Cut that Gak out, I have to fix the damn things for a living. Spilt fuser oil my backside I knew it was man fa...........

Been there... just keep it out of the workplace. While on the job just ignore the fact that you are going to feth each other after work. Treat him/her like a co-worker while on the clock. Off the clock, all bets are off and you can do whatever you want. My GF used to call me 'babe' when we worked together. My supervisor was getting curious so I just told her she is not to call me 'babe' while we are at work.

Oh yeah... don't start having sex with your boss. That never ends well. Co-worker is feasable, boss is an obvious power imbalance.

I read about one fellow who got fired when caught. Something about 'misappropriation of company resources'.

Frazzled wrote:

My wife won't let me.

Mine either; I ran the harem idea past her and it was shot down.

Not that there's anyone at work that I would date anyway...

He doesn't love you. It's just how he asserts dominance.

Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:Too right
the legal **** really hit the fan when I was caught snogging the photocopier

Not to mention it wasn't covered in the service contract!

Guitardian wrote:
Oh yeah... don't start having sex with your boss. That never ends well. Co-worker is feasable, boss is an obvious power imbalance.

I knew a girl who seduced her boss and started an affair with him. She ended up getting lots of expensive gifts, manipulated him (making him where cologne she chose around his wife) then "dumped" the guy when he wanted to run away with her and acted like he was being ridiculous (despite setting him up for it). I don't know whether to feel a little bad for the guy or just consider him a moron outright. She ended up blackmailing him to keep her job a little longer too. Either way, it worked out for her.

Who said the power resides soley on the boss.

Much like the S&M stuff, there's a point of view where the submissive has the power (the power to stop the whole thing with the safe word). <---but this is only in ideal situations.

Only wusses use safe words. Real men use bicycle horns.

Ahh....
The joys of S&M....
And the wierd stuff too!

I don't have any actual experiance but whoever said the fact that you will run out of things to talk about is correct and when that happens the relationship goes out the window.
I just know that I've been told office romance doesn't work well. But it does in some cases it seems.

9 times out of 10 it's a really bad idea to tap the work pool. Just doesn't end well. Really.

Especially if you frequently work closely. If you're in completely unrelated positions, then maybe.

Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:Too right
the legal **** really hit the fan when I was caught snogging the photocopier

I once heard of a man dating his photocopier. He introduced it as his "Faxy Momma".

Slarg232 wrote:

Chibi Bodge-Battle wrote:Too right
the legal **** really hit the fan when I was caught snogging the photocopier

I once heard of a man dating his photocopier. He introduced it as his "Faxy Momma".

All of the suggestions here are good - and I would really just read the employee handbook or w/e you have on company policy. Some places flat-out ban it, others may be more lenient. It's really up to the company. Use discretion if you do start dating another employee, though, no need for everyone else to know about it.

Thaanos wrote:So I have a question for my fellow Dakka readers. What are your opinions on workplace romances? I have always been of the opinion that girls I work with are off-limits, but now the temptation to ask some of these pretty ladies out has been overwhelmingly strong. What are your opinions / past experiences with dating in the workplace?

Sometimes the boobies just look TOOOO nice!

As long as it doesn't violate company policy, go for it.

But if things go bad, there is nowehre to run.