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I was playing Orcs & Goblins against a friends Chaos waaaay back with the 4th ed rules for WHFB. We played a quite large battle of 2500 points each or so, and I had secretly been painting a dragon to surprise him with.

Anyway, my dragon got to charge a unit of Chaos Warriors, but failed to hit all of the eight attacks. I rolled six ones, and two twos. The Warriors didn't hit the dragon, but it was "driven off". In my next turn I charged again, and failed to hit even once - and I was hitting on 3+. This time the dragon took a wound - failed its leadership, fled - and was promptly run down and killed.

The likelyhood of not rolling a single 3+ on 16 dice is one in 43046721 - slightly less chance than one in 43 million... I haven't fielded that dragon ever since.

During an in store tournament for Armageddon, the mission was to assault a fortress on the end of a 8x4 table, with chaos defending. The board had no cover other then the fortress, all the land in front of the fortress was "ice", and non-skimmers had a chance to fall through equal to their armor (i.e. AV14 needed to roll 5+, 13 4+ etc), Ord template weapons left equal sized "holes" of impassible terrain in the ice, the forces of good had to assault lengthwise down the 8 ft distance in 6 turns, and any deepstriking unit would be destroyed on a roll of 5+ when deepstriking due to chaos having control of an anti-ship laser battery from the last round.

To top it off, the chaos armies defending were all Iron Warriors with multiple oblits, defilers and basilisks. Out of the 6000 pts of imperials and allies that started, only one rhino with SW bloodclaws and a rune priest made it into assault on turn 6, thanks to the cover provided by the wrecks of eldar waveserpents.

The worst beating I ever took was in Charlotte, NC a few years ago, at a local game con. I took my Ork Kult of Speed and dispatched my first two opponents pretty handily. The winner of the next game would win the tournament. I get paired up against a local eldar player with many starcannons and skimmers. The table has about 40 small rock walls that don't block line of sight but are difficult terrain for ground vehicles. The scenario was a hostage style game with attacker and defender. The roles were decided by the number of fast attack choices, and the attacker got first turn. I was the defender, in a 10" deployment zone, and after turn one I had two vehicles mobile out of about 14. The game was over after his turn 2. I had beaten the tournament organizer in round two (yes, he played), and while it's conceivable I wasn't bushwacked, I think I was set up.

The worst beating I ever gave was at one of the first Adepticon events many years ago. It was actually held at a local historic veterans hall or somesuch, next to the Hobbytown USA hosting the event. I had won the RTT the day before and sunday they ran a best general tournament, scored kind of like Ard Boyz. My opponent was 18 or so, running a super shooty Ultramarine army. The judges were ill prepared and had us roll a scenario out of the main book. Bunker Assault. My opponent chose to defend, and grabs this terrain piece for his bunker. It's about 10" by 14", a level one hill with a wall all around and a small building in the center.

I ask him if he wants the bunker as the small building, but he insists the whole piece is one giant bunker. The rules state the bunker must be placed at least 6" away from any table edge, wich puts the bunker almost 18" onto the table. He then proceeds to deploy his entire army, barring one rhino, into the bunker. Picture about 60 infantry and one dread jammed into this space. I, meanwhile was looking at the rules for assaulting bunkers. On my turn two I rolled my burna boyz and power klaw nobs up to the bunker and hit him with four burnas. Flamer weapons score a hit on each model in the bunker, and the judge rules that each burna hits separately. After his entire army takes four burna hits each the Nob collapses the bunker with his power klaw and kills more marines. Three marines staggered out from the ruins and were promptly dispatched.

I gave that kid all kinds of outs, but he cut his own throat...

During the last Canadian Grand Tournament for the 5th edition of Warhammer, back when you could take 50% of your army as characters, I showed up with a minimally equipped Black Ork Warlord on a boar, a level two Orc Shaman, and a few underequipped unit champions (go Sword of Might!). Needless to say I got continuously mangled as my army behaved like an Orc and Goblin army and caved whenever some hideously over-powered breathed on my Warlord. But I soldiered on having a good time confident that at least I'd make it up on composition and sportsmanship. I didn't get best sportsman, but I did get one of the best scores for it (+3, by the rating system of the day). However I was marked down the composition. It turned out that because Herohammer was supposedly on the way out, the judges decided to gives marks on maxing out on characters... I was unimpressed, to say the least. At least the games were fun.

My worst ever was back during 3rd edition. My gunline Tau (48 fire warriors, 40 kroot, a hammerhead, 3 broadsides, some suits and a commander) vs my bud's Seeding Swarm Tyranids maxed out on Spore-podding genestealers. Completely wiped out, minus the Hammerhead, by turn 4. The Hammerhead spent the next two turns flying around trying to submunition the gribblies but missed both shots.

Hello all. First post in a couple years, but I'm getting back into the game . . .

This is from maybe 8-10 years ago. Been playing 40k since RT, and was pretty excited when the 2nd edition came out. Codex: Eldar came out first and a friend of mine hopped right on it. Eldar were wicked in 2nd, and it was shiny, new Codex Eldar with all kinds of special characters and powers against the rest of us using the stupid, generic army lists that came with the box set. We routinely got slaughtered, and my friend didn't hold back on the trash talk whatsoever. Eventually I actually read his codex and corrected him on numerous misinterpretations of the rules and even some blatantly fabricated special abilities - like for instance War Walkers projecting a power field in front of them with a 2+ invulnerable save . . . and his characters could hide behind it and shoot out while still being protected. Wow.

Anyway, he always took the most outrageous characters and wargear for even the smallest games - like a phoenix lord and an avatar leading a couple squads around - and always kept up with how much we sucked and how much our armies sucked and so on and so forth. Eventually we got our own special codexes and I finally told him that if I played for blood that I'd mop the table with him, no competition. So we set up a 10,000 point per side battle to decide it once and for all. His Eldar versus my Imperial Guard and my brother's Space Wolves, all under my command. We met on the appointed day and set up our armies. I won first turn and opened up with every special ability the Imperium could muster. The highlights:

- An assassin with polymorphine took the place of one of his howling banshees. With relatively open charging rules he was able to contact 4 more, which he wiped out in my assault phase, allowing him to follow up into Jain Zar and the remaining banshees.

- A teleporting tech-priest mighty hero toting a graviton gun. It's an instant kill weapon with a range of 12". He drops in right next to the avatar and . . . bye bye avatar. The tech priest also had a displacer field, so have fun killing him.

- He was joined in teleporting by a squad of wolf guard terminators with assault cannon and heavy flamer, led by a hero with a vortex grenade. Dropped them in right by his farseer all clustered up with his harlequins behind cover. Opened up full out and dropped the vortex. Bye bye farseer, solitaire, and great harlequin, along with many others.

- And just to top it off, another squad of terminators teleport in. This one is packing a cyclone missile rack, with those beautiful 2nd edition rules that allow you to launch salvos. That's right, 12 cyclone missiles for a blast radius of 6". That's a circle a foot across of 1 to live. All told, it took out 43 models and his falcon.

There was other carnage caused by the rest of my army, as those units were maybe only 1500 points of my total. It's been so long it's hard to remember exactly, but he was down to maybe 3000-4000 points by the end of that turn. We pretty much called the game, but he wanted to at least take his first turn since he drove out and spent the time setting up. His turn was a flop, with my massive amount of overwatch fire trashing anything that poked its head out. The rest of the banshees died and Jain Zar got a wound or two, and he failed to kill the tech priest and most of the terminators. Game over.


My worst loss? Well, I've been slammed a number of times, but nothing that even comes close to that or is worth making this post any longer.

I mentioned my worst loss, my most one sided win was a 40k game with my Eldar against a Nid army. The guy sent his carnifex directly toward my wraithguard, which resulted in said carnifex being sucked directly into the warp. His gaunt type things had to cross difficult terrain with no cover. He moved his 'stealers directly forward, although cover was availible to him, and they were promptly cut down by a 20 man guardian defender unit with the farseer. He had several shots with his warriors and his gaunts but didnt take any of them over the entire six turns. In turn three I actually stopped and reminded him that he had about 20 shots availible. His response was that for 'Nids shooting didnt matter. I tried to explain that 20 or 30 strength 4 shots where half of them are going to hit will take something out, perhaps several things if you're lucky. My only casualty was a wraithlord, which was cut up by rending attacks from another unit of 'stealers. I eliminated his army almost to a man ( er......Nid ).

I and a couple other gamers went over to a friend's house to play one day. He was in the Navy and had housing that was jsut close enough to be considered 'impractical' to game with us, so this was kind of a special occasion. We set up a game and, since it was his house and he had a lot more 40k experience, arrange the mission.

His table was a jungle board. he played Catachans. I played Sisters (this was the pre-Witch Hunters list). I got my ass handed to me as I couldn't shoot any of his stuff! Actual post-game was surprisingly even, and I was praised for at least putting upa good fight.

The second game of the day we did a team thing. Every Tyranid (mine and his) against my two friend's tyranids. We had to assault a fortress longways on a 6 foot table against an IG force with Deathwing allies. I think this hurt more: with the Deathwing able to screen the IG, the Tyranids got shredded as they made their assault.

Fun games, though. Wish I was still in touch with that guy and we could find time to play.

Battle's I knew I was going to lose going in, and then shomehow didn't

2nd Edition - IG All Lemun Russ Tank Army vs. BA Scouts and Lord Mephiston.
The IG battle cannons made short work of everything except Lord Mephiston.
Lord Mephiston using cover to it's fullest advantage krept along the battlefiels and actually destrotyed the ENTIRE IG army with is force weapon

3rd Edition Iyanden Ghost Army (all wraithlords & wraithguard) vs IG mechanized Company
I thought for certain that the Eldar advanced weaponry would decimate my 2 Chimera mounted squads and Lemun Russ's.
Funny thing we both didn't anticipate was that Battle Cannons shoot a heluva lot farther than WraithLord weaponry.
All of his wraithguard, the bulk of his army, was decimated without ever getting a shot off.
The Wraithlords then fell to the combined fire of my entire army.
I went into the battle expecting a loss and came out without taking a casualty.

Battles I thought I was doing okay, then didn't

3rd Edition Necrons - EVERY battle I've ever used them vs. Space Marines
Round 1 - Monolith goes Bye Bye, ususally to lascannon fire.
Round 2 + Swarmed in melee