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Orkeosaurus wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:I make sure to read Mathias Thulmann: Witch Hunter whenever they're around. It's worth the look on their faces.

You should read from the Malleus Maleficarum.


Back on topic:

This is a vampire


This is a failure


This is a Twilight fan


This is my Twilight face


This is Stephen King

Gentlemen, absent a thread announcing Monica Belluci has the hots for frazzled, this has to be the best post of 2009. Max Schreck, pwoning loser vampies, and the immortal Calvin and Hobbes in one post. Excelsior!!!

Because I was homeschooled, a few attention seeking people I know have been goth/emo. I just want to pop some sense into them y'know?

I read Twilight.

Never again.

And I actually like the Harry Potter series, and am excited about the next movie, because it was such a great book.

Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I've never seen nor read Twilight but I really don't get the hatred towards it. It seems to come primarily from people for whom it was never created.

This just makes the hatred seem a bit...well sad really.

I'm afraid I don't get why Stephen King is suddenly a dinosaur flying a plane.

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Dude its Calvin and Hobbes, where Calvin is wondering-wouldn't it be cool if a T Rex/Allosaurus (its been a few decades) had an F-15?

Cheese Elemental wrote:

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Havn't most book/films aimed at teenage girls been doing this for years anyway? The only thing that seems to make Twilight different from these is the introction of a horror/gothic element but I'm sure this has proababy been done before. Hell, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was just a crappy teen soap with monsters and most people I know lapped it up. What makes this film/book seem so much more worthy of hate than any of the others that people seem happy to ignore?

Not picking a fight, just genuinely curious.

LuciusAR wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:

The hatred comes from the fact that it more or less promotes whiny emo behaviour and is a really bad soppy kinky goth romance book. It's populated with Mary Sue characters which ruin the book and make me a saaaaad panda.

Havn't most book/films aimed at teenage girls been doing this for years anyway? The only thing that seems to make Twilight different from these is the introction of a horror/gothic element but I'm sure this has proababy been done before. Hell, Buffy the Vampire Slayer was just a crappy teen soap with monsters and most people I know lapped it up. What makes this film/book seem so much more worthy of hate than any of the others that people seem happy to ignore?

Not picking a fight, just genuinely curious.

Because Buffy was hot, and sparkly vampires don't deserve to exist.

No, I think its because everyone thats not in the middle of the pop culture (e.g. teenage girls) is always wondering what they care about, and why they care so much, because we feel its stupid. And now they have a book that disgraces vampires as we know them, and we can see what they care about, and it disgusts us.

Thats my view. I mostly hate it because it was badly written, and pretty dumb story-wise.

Cheese Elemental wrote:Honestly, my friend dragged me along to a... ...party, and I was utterly disgusted at what I saw. Dozens of screaming teenage girls frothing over that crappy series of... well, I hesitate to call them novels. They were all dressed as vampires, or wearing dance dresses, or wearing 'I love Edward' t-shirts.

Yeah those Interview with a vampire are pretty bad and I never got the obsession with Edward Sissorhands either. This post is about the early 90's right?

Oh to be young again...

I'm bad at arguing, so allow me to direct you to this guy's posts.

As much as I hate unofficial fanfic/slashfic as they always manage to ruin novels or movies for me, I would love to see, or if necessary even write, a Twilight/Hellsing crossover in which Alucard puts head-sized holes through all those pretentious sparkly spankers. The Jackal > Ed. Good game.

And in that vein:

***Twilight vampires run into Al Bundy, who proceeds to show them why he made four touchdowns in high school.

***Twilight vampires run into the ghost of John Wayne. After laughing for four hours he plugs them all full of holes.

***Twilight vampires get stranded in a redneck bar. Oh the humanity!

***Twilight vampires are forced to...get a job, at Walmart (YOU PUNKS!).

***Twilight vampires run into Bela Legosi's Dracula.

I do not drink...wine.

Chuck Norris once read Twilight. The result was Mount St. Helens erupting.

why dont we go burn a book store down
all of them that will stop this plague
and extra we get rid of books all together

And now they have a book that disgraces vampires as we know them, and we can see what they care about, and it disgusts us.

Ok this seems to be a point that has been brought up a few times. The portrayal of vampires 'as we know them' in the book/film is somhow wrong.

Just to play Devils Advocate here I'd like to make a quick point.

Vampires. Are. Fictional.

The very idea that there can be an authoritative version of a creature that doesn't exist is just nuts. No person or group of people can claim to have licence to the 'proper' vision of vampires. Not Bram Stoker, not Anne Rice, not Joss Wheedon, not the Guys who founded White Wolf nor the person who wrote Twilight. Nobody. They are not real, ergo any interpretation of the ledged is as valid (or invalid) as any other.

Sorry guys but you don't own the rights to Vampires.

LuciusAR wrote:
Vampires. Are. Fictional.

How dare you speak such lies lol.

No no no our town's too nice for that.....

Not my town, I just go to shcool there. And have you not seen the whacked out people that go to beal? They are just frigging nuts when it comes to this stuff.... I mean they had an illegal showing in the auditorium after school for a dollar....

The same thing happened with harry potter, twitter, parris hilton and a variety of other things until someone went "you don't know who/what ___ is?" in some immature state of disbelief and shock. So I take a look at what it is then reply, "I'm quite happy here underneath my rock thank you."

I know what thats like, I didn't know who Pamela Anderson was until two years ago.

Incidentally, I have a long beard and a shot gun!

Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I've never seen nor read Twilight but I really don't get the hatred towards it. It seems to come primarily from people for whom it was never created.

This just makes the hatred seem a bit...well sad really.

At least the vampires in Buffy didn 't have the emotional constitution of a tulip. Plus, that show had boobs and guns. This one has vegetarian vampires and a love triange with a werewolf.

One of the reasons that people hate it so much is because of what it has done to girl's image of a perfect relationship. For example.

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

#9321 (397) - 02/05/2009 at 7:06am by Noname - love - I agree, your life is f***ed (188868) - you deserved that one (25156)
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And thirdly what they have done to Goth culture as a whole. You think the cancer on /b/ is bad? How about that vampire freaks has been invaded by the emo masses simply becuase it has vampire in its url and deals in part with things that emo love. ie; helping eachother cry, crying together, discussing cutting techniques, camwhoring, and getting attention. It has pretty much ruined the site for the actual goths that go there.

Finally, here is south parks take on it.

The Ungroundable


Oh yah, and being an emo makes you make out with guys to get girls. Its called being an emosexual.

Personnally I've also seen teen girls change after reading one of these type of novels. Chances are they were already fethed in the head, but anything in this genre is a catalyst. All it does is quicken up what was going to happen later on.

I've also seen a lot of girls change like this after reading mangas. One day one of my friends(a female) was reading a comic book at lunch. I took said book and flipped through the pages( I couldn't read japanese so the story was in the pictures). It was all fine and good until I saw a picture of two men having carnal knowledge with each other. I then tossed the book on the table and learned that swearing out loud in the cafeteria will get you detention.

I believe in false hope and everything, but it should not be given to women in this manner. Its like giving a guy false hope of seeing two hot lesbians going at it. Chances are the only lesbians you see making out will be psuedo-lumberjacks. False hopes like these are wrong to give to anyone.

I also believe that emos are like goths, just with less metal. If ou want to be a hardcore person, don't try to kill yourself, listen to metallica.

The way I see it is even though Lucius' point is valid about no one owning vampires, there's the sort of...well, I suppose 'traditional' idea of a vampire in movies/books etc . They always seem to be rather similar even when from different sources.

The meyer-vampires have Increased strength...fine, yeah, thats simple enough really. They drink blood, but they don't use fangs, they have 'teeth that can bite through steel' or something. Now immediatly, you've taken away one of the instantly recogniseable features of vampires: The fangs, and I don't recall sparkly vampires when they went out in the sun...or, going out in the sun at all for that matter (well except maybe the sunscreen thing in Blade, but whatever)

Now the way I see it is if you're going to use the name of a creature you should at least try to remain..well, faithful I guess is the word I want to use, to the "lore" of vampires. It would be akin to me writing a book about werewolves, but instead of the whole 'full moon' thing, they will instead turn into 3 legged kittens when it rains.

To be honest, it seems to me like Meyer threw the V word in to attract the grimdark kids to storytime.


Then again the whole "its her book" and "I won't read it anyway" things render my points pointless...and this post makes it sound like I give more of a gak than I actually do :p

Cheese Elemental wrote:I'm afraid I don't get why Stephen King is suddenly a dinosaur flying a plane.

He's AWESOME

LuciusAR wrote:Grown man in not liking movie aimed at teenage girls shocker!

I don't think Cheese is a grown man.

I may or may not be considered one, but there are plenty of people in my English class who thought Twilight was great.

(I was making fun of the sparkly vampires. Evidently, I was only doing this because I was jealous of the imaginary vampire's ability to pick up chicks. )

I'm not a grown man, sadly. This doesn't stop me raging though.

And whatever happened to the good old days of Dracula and Elizabeth Bathory? I mean, 'I vant to sark your blurd!'... nobody does that any more. It's saddening.

I went to school toaday and someone came to scholl wearing a shirt that said...
"DON'T READ TWILIGHT
youll want to drown kittens"

And what happened? Did you get attacked by the Gothopotamus posted earlier by Frazzeled?

i forgot to say it wasnt me

Oh. Where did you hear that from?

i saw it at school myself

yeah... screw Twilight... everyone knows Anita Blake is where its at...

I have an interesting question.

Do you suppose that Bella ever gave Edward head?

I just read the plots online.
vampire=okay i can deal with that
werewolfs=okay
the 2 together makes for a bad 50's b-movie
seriously if i was edward i would have just bite her from the start and save us all the killed trees