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*huggles*
Sorry to hear about that. My suggestion is to do a 'Mrs Doubtfire' ie dress up as a woman and become his Nanny. Arrange it so the witch has an 'accident '.......Profit
Seriously though 2 weeks is better than nothing and at least you would have the chance to see him and get to know him.
Grrr this sort of thing makes me angry .
There should be a sort of NHS scheme for lawers ie you get an ok one free but can 'upgrade' to better one for money.
*MANLY huggles btw*

Deadshane1 wrote:I need to vent....

Havent seen my son in 3 years and 5 months. Mostly due to my outragous child support, the cost of multiple round trip tickets to oregon from virginia, and my Ex's unwillingness to help with travel expenses....oh, and virginias total disdain for the Father in divorce cases.

I have in my divorce agreement that I am entitled to liberal and reasonable visitation with my son. Since my agreement hasnt been updated for her leaving the state for oregon (because hiring lawyers will mean you dont eat for several months) I dont have any visitation guidlines concerning long-distance visitation.

This year, since my 'live-in' GF now has a good job and I've gotten a couple of raises, I was planning on seeing my son REGARDLESS of costs for two months this summer. I was ready to buy a round trip ticket for myself and an open-ended round trip ticket for my son so that my Ex could come and pick him up ANY TIME.

She refuses to purchase a ticket for herself to come pick him up. In order to get him out here, I have to provide proof that I have purchased a ticket for myself to RETURN him at the end of his visit.

...and it gets even better...

She will not allow me to have him for a full two months because "He doesnt know me anymore" Gee...I wonder why you Fething Witch.

So she's allowing me to have him for a maximum of two weeks....and I still have to pay all travel costs. Close to 1000 dollars in plane tickets for two weeks with my son.

I cant stand it.

A bit off topic, but it might help. One of my buddies, John, has three kids. his B*tch (note the cap) of an ex let him have custody because she thinks he's better, and she'll pay child support. Guess who hasn't paid and isn't fufilling her part of the divorce agreement? Court has done nothing so far. Maybe you should try the same?

Deadshane1 wrote:

LunaHound wrote:

Deadshane1 wrote:Since my agreement hasnt been updated for her leaving the state for oregon (because hiring lawyers will mean you dont eat for several months)

I suggest you hire a lawyer, and get it over with once and for all instead of letting these smaller issues add up probably costing you waaaaay
more $ and problems on the long run.

Dakka is here to help! how much for your GW armies?

I know...I'm going to have to. It will be some time though as I cannot start a serious series of court visits right now. I'm about to get a gov't job and move to Texas.

Basically I have to bend over, grab my ankles, relax and enjoy it until my move and change of employment are complete. Which doesnt help me right now.

You know, its funny. My GF says that my Ex should be happy and supportive of me wanting to see my son....so many divorced fathers out there simply give up and disappear.

...I can understand why fathers give up...after destroying a wooden shed door last night (I almost broke my hand), sobbing for about an hour and a half, then throwing another angry tantrum about how a trashy and unfaithful woman and her family destroying unemployed husband can dictate the relationship of a city employee of 3 years who lives by a moral code and his innocent 6 year old son.

Something is wrong with the system.

Agreed.

Well, I'm sure dakka will start an internet petition to change the courts mind so you have custody.


(wink wink, nudge nudge)

Where exactly in Virginia do you live? Southeastern area? Many sections of Virginia have free legal help for low(er) income individuals and families. Depending on your income, I would look into them.

I would check out the Legal Services of Eastern Virginia. http://www.vlas.org/ I worked there several years ago during a summer in law school, and I know we did several divorce/child custody cases, including several where one spouse had the child and lived out of state, similar to your situation (though it wasn't as far as Oregon). Though I believe it moved from Williamsburg and it has been awhile...

In addition, several firms offer pro bono work to 'deserving' individuals and some of the larger firms have a pro bono attorney who handles similar cases for the community. As you are in a law enforcement field, protecting us from ourselves and such, you will probably look more deserving than the 'average' person who asks for pro bono help.

The Virginia Bar Association also encourages pro bono work, and some attorneys are very helpful with their time. I would research what is in your local area (or even if it were in Northern Virginia) before dropping money for a private attorney. A helpful site might be : http://www.vba.org/comserprog.htm which lists community programs for the Virginia Bar, and make some phone calls to the organizations they list. In addition, I would check out the VA Young Lawyers Association and try some of their pro bono hotlines for the region of VA you are in (listed on left side of screen) http://www.vba.org/division/yldact.htm .

If you are one of the many unfortunate individuals who make more than 'low income' but not enough to pay for a private attorney (ie lower middle class), then welcome! If you aren't a minority, perpetually unemployed while on welfare, or a resident alien, then you get to bear the brunt of US domestic policies through your taxes, and others reap the benefits.

Good luck with your search, hope you can find some help.

That sucks, bro. Good luck to you. I'll offer up a prayer for you.

Not touching this one with a ten-foot pole.

I remember my mom leaving my dad in tears sitting on the driveway as we pulled away. She thought she could do better with a younger richer man, and it cost him his house,Church pastership, and tons of money over the years, it still tears him up 23 years later. I, myself got a cal from Iraq for my x saying she slept with some guy at a party and was taking her kid (who I was in the prosses of adopting) and our daughter away along with everything I own. Lucky for my phone calls are recorded and my lawyer had her for lunch. Turns out "our" kid wasn't mines, so it feels like I lost two kids forever. I feel your pain totally. Remember when your kid grows up he will know the truth, That strong brotha!

I recommend no matter how much your ex-wife may have tried to poison your son's mind against you, not to be vindictive in return.

sexiest_hero wrote: Remember when your kid grows up he will know the truth, That strong brotha!

I no longer believe that.

Jin wrote:I've got a Honda.

Do I hear rumblings of a Dakka Road Trip?

I'll get the fast food and disposable cameras!!!

I thought it wasn't legal for a spouse to leave the state with a child when custody was granted. let alone leaving and moving across country like this case. Am I wrong here?

If so that's way wrong. I don't know the whole story, but it seems like you would have a case here.

GG

historically that was wrong.

Frazzled wrote:historically that was wrong.

Could you elaborate? I find shanes situation very disturbing.

GG

Yes Deadshane disturbs a lot of people oh wait…

Historically there was no limit on moving within the states. In recent times that has changed somewhat depending on location. You also have to factor in that this is a slightly negotiated thing initially (after that its court city). Many modern agreements have provisions for if a parent lives outside of a certain distance now.

Is their a bus you could take? (I know it's a very long way, just wondering if there is a cheap solution).

It's a pity there isn't a no win no fee lawyer for this sort of thing.
If you were suing her you could borrow the money for the lawyer.
Do you own your house? Perhaps it's worth getting a loan for the lawyer.

I agree with Raon. You should look around for pro bono work. I mean, find some final year law students and convince them that this 'community service' will look great on a resume.

Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. We will be here for ya.