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Pretre: OOOOHHHHH snap. That's like driving away from hitting a pedestrian.
Pacific:First person to Photoshop a GW store into the streets of Kabul wins the thread.
Selym: "Be true to thyself, play Chaos" - Jesus, Daemon Prince of Cegorach.
H.B.M.C: You can't lobotomise someone twice.
vodo40k wrote:This might be slightly relevant, everybody deserves to see it:
HH as a bar fight
The Emperor, owner of a bar downtown declares his grand opening after evicting the previous owners and buys a round for everyone and leaves the place in the capable hands of his manager Horus.
Horus is pissed at the new format and wants a dance club instead of a pub and decides to make it happen.
His bouncers, Mortarion, Angron, and Fulgrim (who likes to dance) all agree this is the right course to take the bar.
The Emperor’s most loyal customer, Magnus, files a complaint about this via text message but cell phones are not allowed in the bar. The Emperor tells Horus to get the doorman, Leman Russ to escort Magnus out.
Horus instead instructs Russ to throw him out. Russ instead smashes a bar stool over his head and then drags him out the back door.
Fulgrim takes over as DJ and starts playing some Lady Gaga. Everyone gets down.
Rogal Dorn, working the coat check isn’t too pleased at what’s happening and sends some of the guys to deal with this.
Corax and Vulkan start arguments with Angron and Mortarion. Ferrus Manus has words with Fulgrim about the music. A dance off ensues with Fulgrim knocking Ferrus out cold with a sucker punch.
The three talk tough as their buddies Alpharius, Lorgar, Konrad Curze and Perterabo show up to back them up.
Just as the argument heats up, the new guys smash beer bottles over Vulkan and Corax and have them thrown out of the bar.
Dorn seeing he is outnumbered locks himself in the coat check and gets on the phone to call his friends. While Perturabo and Angron try to smash the door down, Sanguinius and Khan show up for the fight. Gulliman is enjoying a 7-up at a bar across town but says he’s sober enough to drive over. Meanwhile Lion El Johnson can’t get past the line up because he's too busy fighting with his girlfriend.
While Khan revs his harley outside to scare everyone, Sanguinius tries to take on Horus who bitch slaps him to the ground. With all the noise and racket going on, the Emperor gets off the net (where he’s been trying to block spammers all night) and comes downstairs to sort the mess out. Dorn comes out of the coat check mouthing off at everyone.
Horus and the Emperor beat each other up until Horus passes out. Just then El’Johnson sneaks in with fake I.D. and Gulliman finally shows up with most of his Facebook friends (He has over 100 000). Russ shows up but is too drunk to fight.
Angron, Fulgrim et. al grab Horus’ limp body and make a run for the dance club down the street, vowing revenge. Alpharius stays behind in a washroom stall with a trench coat and sunglasses to beat up unsuspecting patrons.
Gulliman and Dorn put the Emperor in his lazyboy upstairs hoping he’ll wake up sooner or later. Gulliman takes temporary management of the bar and institutes a smoking ban and can’t serve to minors anymore rule. He also creates a more standard menu consisting of only meat products. Eldar, Orks and Tau are still banned.
1850 points (buying new stuff)
Canceled, waiting for new dex
A battleforce, some guardians, a DA box, 2 banshee boxes,1 warp spider box,2 swooping hawk boxes, Found new love for the guys, debating on whether i should start or not
And, as everyone already knew, the dinner party was a sausage fest.
But really.. this was pretty good. +1.
"Better have one flexible neck to be making that shot," Bob said.
"You only assume the Balefire is coming out of his mouth, Bob. In my world, the Heldrake is pooping daemonic fire on your troops as it jets away from their mangled and now burning corpses." -John
Currently attempting to put together a homebrew non-canon Space Marine chapter. If I can be bothered to getting around to painting the models and putting the things together of course...
in a little hole in the ground...crying myself to sleep
Monty Python 40k bar fight?! GENIUS!
Conduct While Gaming
While rolling a die, do not say, “Anything but a 1!” unless you wish the die to come up as 1. Any other such attempts to anger the “Dice Gods” will result in the existential equivalent of continuously flipping a coin and having it come up heads every time (for reference, see Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead). Your dice will be cursed to roll ones for everything other than morale checks, which will come up sixes.
ORK PLAYERS HAVE A LIMIT OF 1 SCREAMS OF WAAAAAAGH PER HOUR. violators will be forced to play tau.
Players with chimeras and las weapons shall pronounce chimera ki-mere-uh, not chim-ere-uh. Violators will be forced to play nothing but world eaters. Non-40k personnel must purchase and build a chimera.
Currently attempting to put together a homebrew non-canon Space Marine chapter. If I can be bothered to getting around to painting the models and putting the things together of course...
Eldar: Dark Eldar's twin brother, used to get in trouble with the law, but after seeing Dark Eldar get convicted and sent to prison he was scared straight, he is a stereotypical reborn christian, clean, well dressed, well mannered, always goes to church, and is secretly racist.
SECRETLY racist?
The Kool-Aid Man is NOT cool! He's a public menace, DESTROYING walls and buildings so he can pour his sugary juice out for people!"- Linkara on the Kool-Aid Man
htj wrote:I break my conscripts down into squads of ten, then equip them with heavy weapons and special weapons. I pay 1pt to upgrade their WS, BS and Ld, then combine them into larger squads when deployed. I've found them to be quite effective.
Well, it has to be closed by a mod now, since you necro'ed it.
grendel083 wrote:"Dis is Oddboy to BigBird, come in over."
"BigBird 'ere, go ahead, over."
"WAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!! over"
"Copy 'dat, WAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!! DAKKADAKKA!!... over"
After being laid up in his lazy boy armchair the CEO of the bar is elected mayor for an unusual term of "posthumous life and thereafter" of the city: The Imperium . Prominent businessman that he is, he hands over his power to the board of directors: who insist on calling themselves "The High Lords of Terra to pay homage to the bar he practically lived in before his election. Though no one really understands how he did it being... well... dead, a shady bunch of characters, alleged drug dealers and con men who apparently knew everyone, vouch for this strange move of power so long as they remain outside the new laws the High Lords plan on putting in place. Though they hate labels, they reluctantly accept the title of Inquisition.
From there, things seem to go down hill pretty quickly. The janitorial union - or Adeptus Mechanicus quickly looses many of its rights, such as giving people with funny hats swirllys in the toilet - as strange cults pop up everywhere and begin praying to the CEO, many of which, have very funny hats. Seeing this as an opportunity for reelection for let's say.... forever, the High Lords embrace this idea and allow the youth of the city to pray to the CEO in any way they'd like, some even adopt the label of the most popular cults. However, one cult stands above the rest and violently crushes all who oppose them, like the fat tyranid pounds down Mc'Planetiods, until no other belief exists but theirs. This cult becomes the official religion, and with the help of the shady con men that are the Inquisition, all are forced to embrace the religion, or burn under the state sponsered agency of the Ecclesiarchy. In the cheerful days after, the peace of acceptance is broken by the Moirae Schism and the Nova Terra Interregnum where multiple opposition parties challenge the powers that be, in comparison making Greece look like a unified country. With the universal faith as the glue that holds the city together even stronger than its disgruntled jaintor's union, the Ecclesiarchy's role becomes absolute, it's leader becomes the de facto leader of the city - even above the board members. Recognizing this, a young pimp who's shadiness eclipses the Inquisition, and thirst for power decides to seize his chance. Not even attempting to hide his intentions, Goge Vandire enters the chambers of the Ecclesiarch, slays him, crowns himself the new spiritual liege of the city, and then uses his beautiful escorts to slay anyone who challenges his authority. Naturally, the city is left in shambles under martial law and a new cult leader arises to challenge him. Sebastian Thor does what does best, kicks Goge Vandire's butt shortly after his super special police of religious awesomeness fry in a horrible metro accident and is named the new Ecclesiarch. Like George Washington without the wooden teeth, Sebastian guts the power of the Ecclesiarchy and removes himself back to the shadows like Rorshac or the Lorax. With Goge's mistresses flying the white flag of "we had no idea", the SoB are born from their terrible mistake, and in textbook fashion of religious guilt - find penance for the next four thousand years as the punching bag of the universe.
That is, until they are invited to the wondrous dinner party - as the maids......
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2013/01/21 00:00:29
1850 points (buying new stuff)
Canceled, waiting for new dex
A battleforce, some guardians, a DA box, 2 banshee boxes,1 warp spider box,2 swooping hawk boxes, Found new love for the guys, debating on whether i should start or not
